Love Stories: Jennie Garth and Dave Abrams

Hey, there are folks in this episode nine to two to one. Oh no. Our Glove series continues with the love stories of two folks now who have been in a relationship a marriage for ten years. But get this, one of those years, he rode around with their divorce papers in the back of his truck. Yes, welcome to this special cuffings. He's an edition of ABN TJ. Roobes. This has been a blast. This was our final couple. Boy, they went out with a bang. Didn't I love these two?

And certainly did.

Jenny Garth and her husband Dave Abrams. They have a nine year age difference. Jenny is nine years older than Dave. Yes, she already had three kids from a previous marriage coming into this relationship. And one of my favorite moments is when we asked about whether or not these two had chemistry when they first met. Because this was a double blind date. They were set up to meet one another, and the moment Jenny says she saw Dave, she said, oh hell no, oh hell no.

You know, we we get into this in the interview we do with her, but we have spent some time with her over the past year, and we've heard this story from her in person. Now you'll hear how she answers the question he and what do you say? She said, oh, hell no, Well, she was just like it.

Was a hard note for her when she saw him.

But then we've talked to her in person and asked her about it. She said what she saw, she was likeugh.

Like she right, But she goes on to describe him as tall, dark and handsome with a pea coat, who looked like an actor, and she was just like.

Ugh, yeah, but for a lot of people that would sound awesome. He sounds great. He's a good looking, tall, god great guy. But for her, in that world, she was immediately turned off by someone who looked like he was in that world.

Yes, because she, of course has spent most of her at least at that point, most of her life in front of the camera in Hollywood. Man, I grew up watching her. I'm the same age as her, so I grew up with her watching her do nine O two and Ozero. But yeah, she was just wanting out of that whole scene. And he looked as though he was a part of it, even though he isn't.

He isn't. But these two they were the last now in our series, and they were I said this to you during the interview. I leaned over and I said, these are adults, like they are grown folks who've been through a lot. They've been through previous relationships and marriages, they broke up for a little while, you got step kids involved. There's so much going on. But they also show us that, yes, despite all of that, there's still something to them that is evident in the conversation we're having.

It is inspirational to know that you can get that low and be that bad off where you actually have divorce papers and you are not talking, you are not seeing each other for over a year, and here they are, six years after that tumultuous year. They can sit there and be in love and so comfortable with one another, and the trust that they've built up from going through that trunk is evident and speaks to the strength of

Absolutely, you're welcome. We love seeing you too.

I we love seeing you.

It's been so much fun to see couple sitting next to each other, interacting with each other while answering the questions. It's a very different experience than just interviewing someone one on one. So this, we promise this will be fun.

All right, we'll start off.

With each of you give me three words to describe the state of your relationship right now.

Who wants to go first?

Okay, the first three words that pop in my head, I would say stability. That just popped in my head. I don't know if this is a negative word, but content is like that was another one. No, but it just I'm I'm I've been like mulling over like how I'm very content and and it's like it's it's a weird feeling, because when are you you know, some something's happening, but no, no, no, I'm feeling like trying to understand, trying to understand the words I'm not.

I've only gotten.

A content stability, and I would say, uh, support is another one. Oh well you yeah, I went first, So I think support is right now. I feel like with her supporting me and me supporting her with all the you know stuff she has going and yeah, and it is the same with me as well. Her support for me is yeah, full on and that's been That was one of the big things early in our relationship was sometimes I felt like I wasn't supported.

So okay, that's just question one. We just don't question one. Guys. All right, Jenny, where are your three words support?

Support, I wou'd say humorous, we laugh a lot, and reliable.

We are we are we always do what we say we're going to do. We're always where we say we're going to be, and that gives both of us, I think, such a sense of stability and that reassurance.

There's next places we are actually ever at any good points, so.

We don't we don't stray far from our so forth.

Yeah, gotchaka, next question here, and we this is going to be fun because we have heard part of the story about how you all met. But the question that we've asked all the couples is was there immediate chemistry when you first.

Met you want me to go first?

No, it was a blind date, right.

It was a blind double date. And I think I told you guys this once on some other podcasts we do. But we we talked about the fact that I walked into the setup location, the restaurant, the bar, and I walked in and I immediately saw a tall, handsome like actor looking guy with scrubble pea coat, so pretentious, and I was like, oh, I thought, no, no, so yeah, that was my first I disagree.

I think that it was. There was a disagree with my reaction. No chemistry, The question was chemistry. I feel like there was chemistry. We were just kind of like waiting for it because after we left that date with the two people that we were on the date with, we went and had a drink by ourselves, and that's when, Yeah, we had a lot of chemistry. We didn't stop seeing each other like and then we got married.

So there, who said I love you first?

Probably me?

I was thinking, it's probably me. Wow, is it bad that we don't.

Remember no this, We've talked all these couples. This is the first time there wasn't an immediate Ah, it's usually is the guy?

It was usually the guy.

But yeah, okay, but you all can't remember who it was.

No, I remember so much vividly. I don't. I feel like it was me, but you feel like it was you. I don't.

I don't know. I think I blocked that on my memory.

How about I put it this way, you all knowing what you know of each other and your relationship. Now, who is it more likely? You think probably said it first.

I feel like it's more likely me because I'm a little bit more of a communicator, like it a clear shooter, you know, I'm like, look, I love you, let's not waste any more time.

Yeah, that's true, that could be true. Yeah, I agree with that, all right. She's very yeah, very direct.

That is a good thing in a relationship. How long did you all date before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you got married?

We were engaged.

We got months after we met December, January, February. We were engaged in March. We got married in July.

Wow, six months got married at six months?

Six months?

Did you have any reservations at that, like, for having such an accelerated timeline?

Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean because I mean, it bit us in the butt like three years down the road because we didn't I mean, we broke up for like eight.

Months a year. It was twelve months, actually it was it was like eight months, just twelve.

You broke up. You were already married though, so you were you were separated, separated.

Yeah, but I think that's because we did jump into it full and fast like that, and I think we could have used a little more time to understand get to know each other and our problem solving where we each were individually, like in our growth and my healing, and you know, we just could have used some more time.

Probably. I had a lot of stuff that, you know, that I had to kind of deal with that I didn't deal with in my single days and other relationships that you know, the same patterns were happening. I had to look at myself and also she had to look at herself. And then it's been great ever since. So it was I mean, it's crazy, but it was such a our journey has been such a blessing. I mean, I know it sounds cheesy to say that, but it's it's true. I wouldn't have changed that.

That totally makes sense. What happened in those eight or ten months. It was the difference that made the difference that now look at you, how many years later, still together, still happy.

What happened during that period of time when you separated.

Been back together for like six years during the break when we were broken up.

I think we just both, like we said, did a lot of personal growth. I think that prior to the breakup, to the separation, i'll call it, we had been going to couple therapy and that wasn't working for us like that. He did not like that and so and it didn't it didn't help us. So we thought he didn't want

Yeah. So I filed in like April. There was like, you know, the first four months where it's anger and just I don't want to talk to you. I'm done, I'm blah blalah. So I got papers drawn up in like April. I didn't know what I was doing. The guy was like, well, you have community properties, Like I don't care, just do whatever is the easiest fast trap.

Oh my god.

And then in December January we started kind of dating again and becoming like trying to do like we made it a point to be like a normal couple. I had a little apartment, I had gotten a dog, like I was going through something, and so she you guys.

He got a dog, while wa is a dog?

Yeah?

Oh wait, no, you got a new truck, a giant truck that doesn't even fit on the streets of Los Angeles.

I mean, okay, he was going through something, Yeah, okay.

You is the dog still with you all?

Yeah? Yeah he's our son now. Yeah, he's like he's in love more. He's in love with Jenny, like that's his person.

We're more concerned that you're in love with her and she's still your person. Yeah, mister Manila envelope.

Jesus seriously, guys, the Manila envelope was still in there like a year. I think after.

Yeah, we got back, I just sat there. I don't throw away a lot of stuff.

That might be one thing you should throw away though.

Yeah it's gone. The truck's gone.

Wow, guys, I think we could rap now because you all just answered questions eight through forty. Next question here is there? I'm not sure. Is there an age difference and has it played any role in your relationship?

Yes, I'm nine.

Years older than Dave.

So when we met, I was thirty four, she was forty three, and then we got married. I was thirty five four then five he got married. Oh my god, I can't.

When we go back in time and I realized how young you were, it freaks me out a little bit.

I was a young thirty five.

Yeah, you know what, that made complete sense to me. I didn't get close to the beginning to get my ish together in life until I was probably thirty eight or thirty nine. I was a mess, So that it makes perfect sense.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that was that was totally true with me, and then jumping into the situation where I had three step children the ages of like sixteen eleven or or Lola was just twelve, and then Fiona was a seven eight, and then taking all that on and the dogs and then this celebrity and this celebrity that I had just come into her life, and then like paparazzi and like stuff like that, and then.

It was a lot.

It was a lot.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

So I mean, that's that's admirable that you all took a beat and it was probably scary as hell and awful for that period of time. But look at you now, that's that's really impressive and it's inspirational for folks who are going through tough times.

But you can, you know, you can figure it out.

Yeah you want to.

That's really cool.

I didn't get through it.

But back to your point about the age thing, So they're having that gap in age there there have been times when it comes up. I think not as much anymore, because, like we said, he has done some growing up. I've stopped growing up and you keep growing up, which is great. So now we're kind of like in the middle.

Yeah, I agree. The age difference, I never really felt I never really that wasn't that wasn't really a big issue to me. It was a bigger issue for everybody else because they would, you know, they would talk about it more in the news or whatever. When we were first together, it was a thing.

But funny enough, if a man was nine years older than the woman, no one would say, oh, that's just when It's.

Like, no one would that and I no one would care, and no it ever gets talked about. But I mean, I think there was a couple other celebrities that Kristin Cavaleria was dating like a twenty five year old, and that was all over the news.

Yeah, no, I hear you.

Why did you two and you made the decision very quickly, as you just told.

Us, Why did you two want to be married?

And where do you think the two of you would be if you had just chosen to stay as a couple and never actually officially legally get married.

I think for me, having three you know, grows who were young young tweens and teenagers, it was weird for me to just based on my morals and my upbringings to have a man in the house that I wasn't fully committed to or he wasn't fully committed to me, because I didn't want to give them the messaging. That's what was one of the things that was important for me, And maybe that was one of the things that you know, caused us to rush into it because marriage was more

So for me, that yeah, yeah, I mean I think for me, I didn't. I didn't think about marriage. I didn't really think about kids. I didn't. I just was kind of, you know, plugging away, and this kind of just like happened, and I just kind of went with it.

I got no appreciate the honesty of that answer, really there, Jenny, to be able to talk about it in such a way. Yet, you know what, we probably because of you wanted marriage and because of the way you came up, you probably rushed into the marriage. That was a very honest answer.

I appreciate that one hundred percent. I mean I was so in love and so like committed. At that time, I was like, let's let me do everything I can to show this woman that I am this person and I am committed. And then you know, obviously after the purple roses whatever the saying is, and you've hit reality and then you're yeah, it's a lot. But I think looking back, I wouldn't have changed anything. But I love what we did.

That's very cool.

So we I always preface this next question with we ask everyone this question, answer it however you'd like. But how would you describe your sex life and how has it changed over the years.

Well, when we got together. When we first got together, I was in my forties, and you know what they say about ladies in their forties, late forties, Like I was ready all the time, right, yeah, yeah.

Yes, yeah, women come into their sexual powers in their thirties and forties. Yeah.

And I think that you had I don't know.

Where you were this like in the beginning. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's always good at the beginning, and then.

You know, and then you know, yeah, I mean, you know.

We don't really were We don't really talk a lot about sex and stuff like that. I'm pretty modest, I don't I've never you know, been very wealth Yeah, totally, but I would say that it's definitely gotten better. There's definitely been challenges with menopause and certain things and.

Teenage kids in the house all the time.

We have never we never have an empty house. So it's like, I mean even the twenty two year old those with us, which I love that she's here. Her boyfriend's also here like a lot, which I love him too, but it's a full house.

Does that have effect? Yeah, we go on weekend ways.

We just did, like just like we just went to Palm Springs for like a night just to get out, just to be like, we throw the phone away, we just need to get away. And that was great. But that we have.

To get speak quiet all the time. That I hope my kids aren't listening to this. You don't need to be quiet. All our balls are shared by two teenage girls.

Like it's a thing.

Yeah, that's tough.

And we know this because they've said, well, why were you guys arguing those I was like, it wasn't what are you talking about?

That was Now when we have sex, we argue just to fool them.

Oh my god, we turn on the TV. We've last the TV.

This is a real relationship here. This is great, all right, next question here, aside from sex though physical touch, how important is physical touch? For example, walking down the street, do you find yourself you're always holding hands. If you're in the room, do you find yourselves rubbing up against each other? How important is that to you?

Well, I know you two are touchers. You like physical connection. I love that about your couple. But we always hold hands. I think when we met, I was like, here's a couple things that are really important to me. I like to have my handheld, and I like someone to open the door for me, like all the time. Never I never touch a doorknob, Like that's kind of like my dream. And he was all for that. We hold hands constantly, and I'm a lot more touchy, I think than he is.

Yeah. I've kind of been, i mean, growing into being more affectionate, especially with the girls. Like you know, I'm not I'm not very affectionate. I mean I show my love and how I do like I show up for people. I'm there. That's kind of like my showing like affection. I know she always needs like a hug, so it's like tuning that in just to go hug her out of the blue, or like give one of the girls a hug like that's a big thing for me, just to even hug.

Like it's kind of like the way you grew up. Probably physical, No, we snuggle my my kids and I snuggle constantly, so that physical touch is really important.

That's cute. I love that.

So we know that you pretend to fight when you're having sex, but how often do.

You actually fight?

So?

Yeah, how often do you actually fight? And is there something you fight about?

Most?

I think we argue about the girls, one the youngest, probably in particular, just because of maybe not understanding I understand her in a different way than he might be able to. What else is there we do? We argue about money? No, because we're kind of his her and hours, So.

Yeah, I mean, what do we are allowed to argue?

Golf?

Golf? That's what he's going to say, golf.

I'm a golf widow.

Oh. I was trying to figure out he golfs too much? And it takes it takes what six hours, seven hours?

I mean, I'm I'm on a golf team and then we're in season right now, and then you have to have a dinner after you play on Thursday, and it's a bunch of other clubs golf.

Then there's the nineteenth hole.

I know, one night a week.

Well, in this it's not.

A nice t J. It's damn day.

Okay, so one day a week.

Yeah, but yeah, and then tournaments and stuff like that. It can be like a weekend. But but that's it. Like I only go to golf work, okay, don't.

I used to care about it a lot more. Now I'm so busy. I'm like, go do your thing. I'll see you later. What bring me dinner? I don't know what's happening.

And it's interesting. I've been I've been sober for like two and a half almost three years, so like being around this environment where guys are just getting trash, I just haven't. I just sit there like it. He doesn't really.

Yeah, I don't care get involved with that part anymore, which is such. I mean, like I didn't never know jumping onto that topic, like I didn't never know how insecure. That environment made me not insecure, but just unstable, like destabilized. When like my husband would go and you know, drink with the guys at the club, I worry, like I worry about I'm driving, and I just I don't know, I think that since he stopped drinking by his choice, it was, it's been such a secure feeling for me.

Oh, very cool.

All right, Well, next question here, When was the last time, I don't know how, Maybe this was this morning, or maybe it was weeks ago, the last time you remember having to say I'm sorry to the other And what was it for?

Oh, that's a good question. I feel like I just said I'm sorry for something.

Probably it was probably on golf day.

He doesn't apologize for that.

What was it recently? It was like it was recently. It was like this past weekend.

I don't know.

Oh was it Sunday morning? And I was so frustrated because it was the game. I went into work and then I came back and then they were reupholstering shared so everything.

Sunday you're not supposed to do any household chores.

My daughter, Lola and her are constantly they work on the brand together, but they're constantly doing like projects, like they don't stop. Like they took apart this these two seats that were pink and re upholstered them. When I got my upholster guy, he was like, we could I could do it for nine hundred bucks, but.

We wanted to do it ourselves.

So they couldn't do it themselves. So they needed a little bit of help. But Sunday morning, the.

Staple or gun, those are really hard to use, you guys, on my hand is not that strong anymore.

And then now they want to cut the barstools three inches off the metal, which they need a welder to do that.

So they asked what time when you were? Sorry?

Lest I think it was Sunday?

I was.

I had a little bit of a temper tandrent because then the internet then they had the internet guy coming over on Sunday on a Sunday.

The Internet guy on a Sunday jednie.

That appointment up and then he got mad at oh happening?

Well they were well, they were late, and then this guy's like, well we got to run these wires. It's noon. I gotta be so. Yeah, I did say I was sorry because you were being a little bio because I was being a bitch a little bit. But I had a lot of anxiety about the Eagles and then you know, facilitating people at work, and so yeah, you know.

I think it takes a lot, though, to admit that you know, and to say you're sorry.

I think that's cool and that's what it's all about.

Right.

Oh man, I'm if I had to be asked this question. I didn't think about until now. The last time I had to say I'm sorry was for something similar. I apologize. We get up two three in the morning sometimes don't get a lot of sleep, and I was just frantic and I was not in a good way. I'm slamming stuff in a hurry. And I later just said, you know what, I'm sorry for how I was. I was not in a good way.

It's amazing to hear it. I wasn't even upset about it.

I knew that you hadn't slept that much, and it was cool to have you even say that when I wasn't even I didn't even say anything, But it makes it makes a big difference.

Yeah, I think saying sorry is so underrated because it really makes the other person feel seen and respected. I think when there's a conflict, to work it out on your own and come back to the person and have that clear conversation with like, I'm not going to point the finger at you in this situation. I'm going to point the thumb and look at how I what my bark wasn't And it just feels really reassuring to have that.

Well. I was joking with her.

He was joking, I'm sorry that I believed you.

Basically that's hilarious. I said, but that's cute. You still have a little humor.

You knew she might get mad, but it would be a funny moment when she realized.

I get it right. You said, I'm sorry that I thought you were in Is that right?

Yeah?

Okay, it like that apology.

Sorry about that day? All right? Next up here speak Well, we'll stick with the mad and the fight theme for a second. This will be the last one in that regard. Do you make a point of not going to bed angry or do sometimes you do.

It sometimes angry?

Yes, I mean I would like to make it a point not to go to bed angry, but sometimes we do go to bed angry.

You just gotta call it. Sometimes.

You ever have the you know where it's it's getting late, and you know you're sitting on the side of the bed and you're like, well, I'm going to go in there, but I'm not. I'm just going to stay in this And then you're just like, well, we're exhausted, what's good?

So? Or did you know those times when when like my world would be so going so fast that it's not until I lay my head on the pillow that I kind of assess things with regard to like what we're going through and what we're talking about where we are, And that's when I'm like, so, should we talk about the thing.

And maybe at that point where I'm like, no, I had all the like, honey, honey, yeah that's the thing, Like I should be better at that. But that is that is where I've kind of had more time because she is so busy and when I'm done, I'm done, and she's yeah she wants to talk at that point where it's like midnight and I'm like, no, I'm out.

What do you each love the most about the other?

I love that Dave is fun.

He's fun.

He makes me laugh in every situation. He's like he's like a walking Saturday Night Live show all the time. He's always doing like voices and mimic. You know, He's just fun to hang out with. He's brought such a levity into our home. And you know, because the kids and I went through a really hard time with the divorce and the family's breaking up and everything, and when he came in, that's what we all noticed that we

Well, Honey, I'm gonna cry at nine o'clock in the morning.

I also love that he's tall, because I am short and I can't reach a lot of things, so that's really helpful.

I love most about Jenny is she's fierce. I don't know, like she's she just when she says she's going to do something, she does it. Her loyalty is unmatched, and I've learned a lot about that. It's almost loyal to a fault, but I'd rather do that than the opposite. And she's had the same people around her for thirty something years and that says a lot about who she

You know.

It wasn't lost on us either, Jenny. Since we've been asking questions, there were some you deferred and you pause and you say, hey, you go first, but we when she asked what do you love most about the other? You jumped in immediately and had something you knew and you wanted to speak first on that. So that wasn't law. That was a very cute moment to see. We got to turn to some practical stuff. Now the household you kind of alluded to it, But this happens in every relationship.

Well, it's a little different. I mean it's different.

Situation is different. Is not traditional.

I would say, no, I contribute to household around our house. But if I wasn't married to my wife, I would not be living in this house. Let's just say so.

Probably stepped into a lifestyle that he did not see coming, and I would never ever expect him to.

Being that.

I I've always been independent financially since I started making money. I always will take care myself and my kids. So I never would expect him to come in and take care of me, or take care of the girls, or pay fifty percent of what or what take over the payments for this lifestyle that I've created for myself and the girls.

So we did. Yeah, we did have some resentment. She had some resentment towards me a couple of years ago, just because it was like after COVID, I'm in the restaurant business. I lost one, I sold another one, and then I was starting a new one. So we had we had to go through a lot of like growing pains to where we got now to where it on that front, we're very secure in what our contributions are to this family and that probably for the first time

Her right, but it's always We've always been very clear that this is the world that I created and I live in, and I don't expect you to jump into this financially because that's not you know, I wouldn't ask anybody to jump into a situation that they are not familiar with. So I think that we've navigated it pretty well. And I will say too, like you know, I used to.

Yeah. I mean when we first met, she didn't know. When I first moved in with her at the other house, I was like, well, so what's your what's the electrical bill? Let me see what that looks like. She didn't know. So that's where we started. So I had to like delve in, do you know that this is much money? We shouldn't keep that full heater on because that's a lot of money.

Like the water warm, what's.

The so things like that. That's gotten a lot better where she, over our tenure relationship, has learned so much more about finances and has gotten her own finances under control and and and it's so wonderful to see her bloom in that regard and for me just to say, well, I you know, I helped her with that as well as she supported me with other things, you know. I

Yeah, that's so cool.

I mean because finances, I mean, it is a topic that people don't want to discuss. And I think didn't they say people would prefer to talk about sex, even uncomfortable conversations about sex, versus uncomfortable conversations about money, Like money is just this taboo topic that can eat away you. So that's a really thank you for sharing that because I think that's very relatable to a lot of people.

Guys. While you were giving your answer, I kept nudging her and whispering they're adults. Yeah, like that was just a grown up answer. I know, you know what I'm saying. You hear all kinds of answers, but you all, that's real life and adulthood right there. And that's what I kept nudging her.

Thanks. I told her that if we're buried together one day, someone's going to put mister Garth by accident. And I'm told.

He doesn't give a ship.

He's like that.

When you check into a hotel, if he calls them.

By, they go, they go, mister, mister Garth, Hey, what's up?

Man?

I've been called mister before. I love it when they call the room, would you like?

Uh?

Sent up?

He never corrects them either. He thinks it's hilarious.

A guy that doesn't that's not an issue for them, Like, who cares?

It's so nice. It is so nice. Yes, that is not lost on me.

By the way, thank you for being always like never getting offended by that or having your manhood, you know. But let's take it some way somehow, So I appreciate that. How do you guys handle household chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, try.

All that stuff that people fight about.

I love. Can we do this once a week? This is this is great. I'll start first. I do the poop. I do a lot of poop, dog poop, peep. I feed the dogs. I do the dishes. I load the dishes in the morning because I'm the morning person. They get a lot of dishes at night. I unload it in the morning, I take out the trash.

You're in charge of turning off the lights and are huge doors because every no one turns off lights.

I'm like that guy, like it's sign. I put a big sign in the eighteen year old room before she walks out. Lights.

Lights, lights, that's funny.

Yeah, she's constantly. Yeah, she's constantly.

I'm a homemaker, so I'll do anything. I love it. I love I would rather be doing like household chores than most things.

So it's wild.

You've got a full house there. So but the cooking in the laundry has to be a big deal. How how are those two things handled?

Well, we let the girls do their own laundry, thank god, and we alternate the lawn well usually Tuesday night.

Tuesday night's the laundry night, and she'll do it and then I'll put it away. That's kind of how I.

Us have like such an awesome system, Like you even knew what night you do laundry and you tag team everything.

That's remarkable.

Yeah, we have to admit a eighty percent of our couples that were they were doing great. Now, all the questions we got the laundry, and there are cracks and the relationship. So it's very impressive to hear you will handle it the way you do it.

Don't get don't get me wrong. I hate laundry's that's probably that's the thing. I hate them.

I don't mind it, so it works out.

Next question here, tell us how much time do you find that you need, not just a loan, but away from each other. It sounds like you get enough of it just naturally, but do you find that you need some time apart?

I feel like we during our therapy work, we both learned the concept of circle, square circle from our therapist or my therapist who was also seeing you. But Wade, wait Davis, he taught us this that we're each our own individual circles and then in the middle is the square, and that square represents our our relationship together. So we both have these circles that we on a daily basis are filling with you know, work and doing things that make us happy and you know, clipping off all those

I'm the same way, Jenny. I'm the same way for me.

I was I was. I needed that kind of independence I needed in my time. I needed to go, you know, be away and then so I can fill that bucket and so that I could come back and and golf for me kind of checks all those boxes. It checks the social box, it checks the activity box, it checks the mental health box, because you're so into that. So we have worked that's a that's been a big part

I think that I was just in a different place at that point, Like I wasn't interested in my husband going off and getting drunk, and you know, he was at a different place. And I think as we've matured, those things have settled in and like eased up so they they aren't in, they aren't thorns.

Correct, Yeah, it's not as it's no big deal now like it it was so much of a big deal.

But he's a Gemini and I'm an Aries. I don't know if you I don't know that much about astrology, but I know that Geminis are the people that have two sides, right, which I didn't really know until like three years in. I never I never was like, oh my gosh, I'm seeing the other side of the Gemini. And I'm an Aries, which is very strong willed and determined and you know, so it's an interesting combination.

Super super independent le Leo and Aquarius is what we are.

Gemini, I'm not that good and that I only know about.

It better I wish I knew more about astrology.

Because I think it's super I just know geminis get a bad rap.

The funny thing is the next couple of questions you all have absolutely already answered, like have you ever broken up? Yes?

Have you ever been a couple of therapy? Yes, But we have this question.

Have you ever in the middle of an argument threatened to get divorced, threatened to leave the relationship outside of when.

You guys actually did do that.

Have you ever used or reached that point where you threw that bomb at the in an argument?

Oh? Yeah, in the earlier days, we really did. And that was super hard for me because stabilizing, like to be told I'm out of here, this is even doing this, or you know, it's the worst each other. It's the worst feeling.

Yeah, And I'm my biggest thing I have to work on in my whole entire life is fight or flight. It's just such a for me. When I leave a situation, it's this like almost rebirth. It feels so good to me. It's like it's crazy, but it's not healthy, you know what I'm saying, Like, Yeah, so I would like in those fights that where normally I would just leave and go in the other room or just leave. I just

It's so interesting that we met, like we paired up because I have abandonment issues from my father, initially getting really sick and like kind of losing that father figure even though he's stayed alive for a long time. I felt, I think, abandoned as a young girl. And then relationships happen and marriages and those kinds of things happened, so

I mean, yeah, it's that's why I said at the at the beginning of this content for the like the first point part, I mean, in my life I have felt complete content. There is no like I got it. How am I getting out of this situation? Okay? What good do I have one hundred thousand dollars where I could just go make a new life somewhere.

Every everybody has had that though.

These are the thoughts, right, but you've got to block those. I mean, just this is this is the this is these are the crazy wirings that I have that I have to like work on.

It's just me who's like, leaving isn't an option. You're either in or.

You're out, like and it feels so much better to have made that commitment and being like, man, this is this is what I am in. I've made these choices, and I am so better off.

I totally get that. Like, I absolutely have that same instinct like I have to get out of here. I have to, like, I have to leave.

And he's like, if you leave, you will not be coming back.

That's no, no, no wait wait, that's only if you make the threat. Yeah, I never put you out.

Oh no, no no, you're just saying if you walk out that door, no, that it will be locked.

The way.

So today's point to hear. I was really interested Dave and hearing what you were saying there about you know, the fight or flight thing to where I'm never the one that's usually trying to fly. But if you tell me you mentioned something about just how you're able to move on. It's the next thing. When someone tells me this relationship is over or I'm done or I'm leaving, I'm already in my mind. How am I going to get her things back over to her? Wow? If FedEx

Yeah, and it's not I don't even think it's a game. I think you're it's your it's your ego protecting you. It's my ego protecting me. It's your ego protect You have to have your backup plan, you have to have what am I doing now to protect myself? Because I'm feeling really hurt and really scared? So what do I

Yeah, that's that's such a good point that you mentioned ego, because that's one hundred percent what it is. That's one hundred percent what like it hits to your core and that's just false evidence appearing real, you know what I mean.

Oh, this is so good. He taught me that fear that's the false evidence, is false evidence appearing real.

Wow, that's so cool. I love that and it's so true.

Yeah, you said a lot like when I'm when I'm feeling fearful of anything, Like I'll just come back to that and think, oh, okay.

That's a good thing to say to yourself when you're feeling that, especially if you Yeah, that's oh my gosh, I'm using that.

Thank you.

We'll use it tomorrow. Yeah, morning, all right, next last few things there, we'll get to these last few here for you. What is it? And I want to use the word warn, But what is it if you saw a whole line of couples lined up at city Hall going into get married at the justice of the piece, what is it you would want to go down that line and make sure you tell every couple make sure you consider this, think about this, or even warn them about don't do it before they say I do.

I see somebody getting married, I'm like, oh, don't do it.

Oh just wait a little while. Yeah, through some things first.

But I think that's just like, I don't think that's true. I think that's the bitter miss in me. But I feel like now with the relationship that we've developed into, I could give them tips and pointers all day long about, you know, just how to have a more harmonious life together.

I would just I would say, are you ready to work? Because it's like it's not for everyone. I mean, I don't know. I mean somebody way back in the day we don't even know, said you guys get married and then you do this, and then this is how it's supposed to be the social whatever. I don't know if it's for everyone. I would just say, if you're willing to commit and make and that will fulfill you and the work will fulfill you. Then go, yeah, do it. But it's yeah, that's.

So good, Dave, because we watch all these relationship shows are one of our favorites is Married at First Sight, and we keep hearing all the couples say, it's okay, you guys love it too, But it's just.

Like dumbist line, I'm somebody's wife.

The dumb one is we go crazy. I didn't think marriage would be this hard.

Yeah, everyone says I didn't think it was going to be hard, and they they love the idea and the concept of being someone's wife or having a husband, but it's almost like anybody could fill the spot.

They just want to be married.

But what people think is just going to be this immediate union where you just have a partner who's all always on your side, and that is just so not true.

We probably we could have been on that show. That's how we were, and then that's probably the feelings that we had the same things like well, we're married, we're husband wife and then.

Oh crap, now this is actually hard. What am I supposed to do?

Now? This isn't what I signed up for. I think is something that other people say too. On the show that actually is exactly what you signed up for. You just didn't know what you were signing up for.

No, it's hard, it's hard work, and it's like you're spending twenty for seven with someone that is a completely different individual. Like and when you get married, people like expect us people to be like, oh, we're married, so we think the same, we have all the same goals. We are one. No, we're not one. We are two people that are choosing to live our lives together every day. And that's a lot. That's a lot to be with somebody that much.

Oh, and it's it's all about expectations, isn't it. And people we just when you're young, or when you when you're you got your your honeymoon phase in full swing, you just aren't thinking about what's going to happen in the years to come.

So that's cool, all right, She's not going to.

Be rainbows and unicorns all the time. I know.

But it's such a good feeling.

Isn't it. Though I know it's addictive.

Okay, final question, and this is a cheesy question, but we've loved the answers.

What would you each say.

Is the secret or the thing your thing why your relationship has lasted through the ups and downs, and that you two are a successful, happy couple.

What is the secret to your success.

Day by day by day by day. I think the I I hate to keep saying commitment, but I think we're we're staying committed to each other, and we're staying committed to the goals that we have set. We've set like a tenuere plan right now and we're kind of moving down there. So I'm helping her, she's supporting me. We're just the support is kind of and we're very excited about just the future, the girls, her business, my business.

Like free will? It's human beings. We have free will. So I think I had to learn that the hard way, like when he left and realizing, oh, you can leave any time you want, Like it's a choice. It's a choice to stay together every day, and I think that that is one of the things. And also treat your spouse like they're your best friend because they are, like at the end of the day, that's the person that gets you. I feel so confident that he understands me

And like, no, that's not what we do here.

Really keep me grounded, so I forget that that's not normal.

Well, I love the day by day like you just take it one day at a time, and you choose each other and you love each other.

You know what.

We learned so much about the two of you, Jenny and Dave, and so has everyone else listening.

So thank you for being open and being real. It's not easy.

It's not easy at all to talk about these things, but everybody goes through it, and so I just I love how relatable and down to earth and real both of you were.

So thank you well you too as well.

We always we had a blast when we were in San Francisco. You guys are great. It was fun. It was too short. I know you guys were tired, but we need to make another run. Run one day.

See now we're going to be annoying next time. We see you, because now we have all these relationship questions. Ask you, guys.

Remember that time.

It's like we've just been along this ride with you for all these years, and so now we know all your history, we can have really fun, in depth conversation next time we see you too, which hopefully will be soon.

Yes, guys, thank you all so much. We will see y'all soon, having us City appreciate it.

Bye,