Welcome everyone to the Amy and TJ Podcast. In this episode, we are going to talk about a very exciting, brand new project that we're jumping into. It's a column with Yahoo and it's called Ask Amy and TJ. It's a relationship column. TJ.
You don't want to call it advice?
Well, look, we're going to give a suggestion, counter experience, comfort. Yes, yes, a perspective.
Hey, we got that.
But yeah, I when they protest about this, I, for whatever reason, I was uncomfortable with the idea of calling it an advice column. I'm not quite sure, you know what. I step away from. The idea still foreign to me that anybody would come to me for advice on relationships. I think that's what it is.
Right, and I don't think that either one of us feel comfortable at all claiming or having anyone else call us experts. We're experienced, yes, and we've made a lot of mistakes and in my life, and I think in most people's lives, if you think about it, you learn
the most when you make mistakes through those mistakes. And so I would say in that sense, we do have a lot of information, hard earned information, experience that we can pass along that perhaps could help someone in some sort of relationship dilemma.
And we smile about it, but it's some we It never crossed our minds to do a relationship column. We'll talk about how this came about in just a second, but we have found over the past several years, and even sometimes publicly on our podcast and episodes we've done, people open up and speak to us in a way that maybe they would not have had they done it with someone else or didn't know some of what you and I had gone through. That there has been something
to that. There's a comfort in knowing you're not going to be judged, first of all, but in listening to someone who's been through it.
As well exactly, and that has been one of the silver linings of what we went through. Look, we would not have wanted to ever. It's kind of funny the situation we found ourselves in. We're both private people. We would not have ever been putting our relationship out there for people to discuss. We knew it was going to become public because we had plans to make it public within literally a month of when it was revealed, not our doing or on the timeline, we would have liked
it but we would have been private. So we were thrust our relationship became fodder. We were thrust into the headlines, and so then yeah, people feel like, Okay, well they've been through a lot of stuff and we know about it because we've read about it. So now I don't feel so bad about telling you my stuff and what I'm going through because the truth is everybody is going through something, but nobody wants you to know that exactly.
Why everybody, y'all, we're all in it. I don't to the idea that someone is it is jealous of that other couple or that other couple, but.
That happens every I'm guilty of looking, at least in past moments in my life, looking at other couples, thinking Wow, what's that like? What would that be like?
And what I am saying to people are suggesting that everybody is going through it in some way just because they put on whatever face. You have been guilty of that. I have been guilty of that publicly putting out a phase and people would have looked and said, ha, they got it together.
A couple of goals.
They're the perk couple goals exactly hashtag couple goals. They're perfect, they are so in love, they must never fight. I bet they have the best life.
Ha, Just everybody's going through it. So when we got this opportunity, I mean we were kind of scratching our heads saying, well, how did this come about? And then we realize this actually is right in our wheelhouse. Because we have been giving advice to people on the street formerly for a while now Robes. It has been kind of remarkable the number of folks who have started telling us their life stories because they know what we've gone through and they want.
To hear how to get through it.
Everyone's trying to connect and I think everyone no one wants to feel alone. Everyone wants to know Hey, me too. And so it started almost immediately. We started to venture out a few times, kind of hiding away at a restaurant here or there, and people still would find us. And there was one in particular initially who came up to us and they said, you think you've been through the Ringer, wait till you'll hear our story and how we got together. A lot we've had flight attendants say hey,
I met my husband. He's a pilot at the job. On the job, they're like shocking that two people who work together might fall in love. Wow, that must never happen. You guys are weird. So yes, we've had those kind of anecdotal moments where people are connecting because they've had either a relationship work or some sort of relationship that was frowned upon by others, and so we felt camaraderie with them, and that's kind of how it began.
Yeah, but when I guess we got a call and we want to give her credit. Carol O'Connor, So when we worked with back at ABC was now the director of communications at Yahoo. She knew how to get in touch with us and reached out because they have a new editor in chief over at Yahoo News, who is Rosa Hayman, and those two reached out and had an idea. We weren't exactly sure, so Rose, we got together and trop Becka Bluestone Lane.
I remember that that morning.
And they said, we would like to have the two of you write an advice column. And they already had a name, ask Amy and TJ. And they kind of
felt what we had been experiencing. That because our relationship was so out there and because we had been through the Ringer and because so many other people privately go through versions of something they just figured there'd be an immediate connect, and because we had experienced so much and look, we can go through our resumes on relationships, but we both have two divorces, and a lot of people could point to that and say, well, why would you then
give relationship advice? But man, going through those experiences and learning and then relearning the dues and don'ts and where things went wrong, there's there. We've both done a lot of work and introspection on how things got to where they were and why we chose the mates we did. I just feel like when you look at it from that perspective, we do have a lot of experience them.
It's weird to think, well, I don't want to listen to this person on relationship advice because that person has had some failures in their relationships. Well, go find someone who's perfect in a relationship and get advice from them.
Go right ahead.
It might take you a while to find them, but it's nice. We are not at all. We wouldn't make that suggestion that we're just trying to tell people how to necessarily avoid mistakes. We are the folks who a lot of people reached out to us, talk to us about not making the mistake, but how to get through it. And that's where so many people right now find themselves. They're already in the thick of something robes and now they're trying to figure out how to get sometimes out of it or through it.
You know, I have come back and this is this has been going on now for at least two years. Where whether I'm going to a doctor's office, I'm going to a lawyer's office dealing with divorce proceedings, whether I'm at an event where I see an old colleague, a medium, mogul, you know, people from all walks of life will seek me out and say, oh my god, I'm about to get divorced. I think I'm going to tell my husband I want a divorce, or I'm in the middle of
a messy divorce. And then they have questions, how did you handle this? How did you deal with this? But these are women who I don't think otherwise would have ever come up and shared any of this with me. But because they know I've been through it, and because they know our dirty laundry was aired all over the place, they know, like you said, there's no judgment, and there's a lot of experience, and so I have just been
kind of amazed at how forthcoming, how vulnerable. I have seen powerful women who I know would not even otherwise, how they've been able to open up because they feel safe.
The think you have that you know you're talking to a kind and empathetic ear is how differently people will talk to you because of so off And I'm sure you saw it in some of those rooms. A powerful person comes over vulnerable with you and then turn around and go back to being mispowerful.
In that right exactly without a doubt. I mean, we've even had it on our podcast where we've had people come in, prominent guests come in, and then all of a sudden they'll break down a little bit in the actual podcast and kind of reveal more than maybe they would have. But then when the mics turn off, they
will just tell you comes out everything. And I've been stunned by that because you and I have spoken with celebrities for the last two decades, and that just doesn't happen if you have a little bit of a connection, a little bit of laugh after the cameras turn off, when the micser turned off. But this has been on a whole other level with what we've been through, where people who I get would probably have a lot to lose if we talked about what they told us. It still felt connected enough to say.
It we should get official licenses to be.
We can't name names, but it's been jaw dropping.
It had, and I would say I've had different conversations with people since we've been podcasting than I did when we were in broadcasting on broadcast television. There's something about it, and I've appreciated and felt more connection with people that we have been talking to, and quite frankly, you and I have been more vulnerable in this role than we have been in our careers, and I think that shows and it's paid off in the people we talk to, So I've appreciate it.
One of the cool moments when we were approached by Rosa and Kara to do this advice column, they had just listened to our February series called Love Stories, And I've given you full credit, TJ, because this was your idea for us to interview couples in different stages in life,
coming at it from different places in life. There were age gaps, there were religious differences, there were sexual orientation differences, people who had been married a long time, people who had just gotten married, people had been married four times.
You know.
It was like every single possible relationship scenario. And then these were currently successful couples, and so we wanted to ask them questions and so we just had a unique experience. So because it was you and I a couple interviewing another couple.
I love that series.
I love I didn't know it was going to come out like that, but we asked all these couples the exact same questions from a list and just to hear how the conversation said off and how the differences and the similarities and everything you do you see a theme in so many couples, no matter what the differences are. I loved it, and we absolutely folks were telling you now we are going to continue that series.
We give you our word there.
But I was surprised Robes and we did get some response, some online and some friends talking about it. But I was surprised to hear Yahoo. It got Yahoo's attention, and that's part of the reason they approached us.
Yes, and you know, we wanted to take this time to think those couples, because it does take a lot, oh my god, yes, to be vulnerable. I mean that's the best word to use to actually, especially when you're a celebrity, to actually talk about sometimes taboo topics. Because we asked all the couples basically the same question, so we wanted just to see the different answers like when it was your first date, when did you know you were in love, how often do you have sex, etc. Etc.
But Trista and Ryan Suitor, they were weren't they the first ones we spoke with right, and they were awesome? And Ryan was a chatty kathy yeah, which we're not used to hearing if you've ever seen interviews with him over the years. He's the tall, dark and quiet one.
And he was great.
He did most of the talking almost We gragged a bunch of jokes and we got to hang out with him in La and absolutely loved it. So they set a good tone. But I was taken rogues by what we got out of these couples. We learned a lot ourselves.
As a couple.
I think we felt better about and this is part of the point, I guess of this series and maybe hopefully even this advice column, this relationship column is that you start to realize you're not that different from everybody else. So some of their answers just to go, oh my god, that's us too, where that happens to us too, where we went through that as well, and you just feel like I felt more confident in our relationship because it didn't feel like we had a bigger problem, more a
different problem. It kind of felt like we were all in the same boat.
And I loved all of these couples. Of course, Jenna Cram and her husband Alan Russell, we had a good chat with them. Jenny Garth her husband Dave were great. Dave was amazing in that one.
The guy who drove around for a year and a half with divorce papers in the back of his truck. I mean, it can get that bad, folks, and you can still ten years later be smiling, holding hands and being interviewed by us.
And we laugh about it because they were laughing about it. I've never heard such a story. Eddie and Tamra, they're amazing.
You have Pita and Max, Mike, the situation in Lauren Sorrentino. They surprised me a lot.
They were amazing.
This is this is a couple that got together when he was about to go to prison and she went to go visit him and they got Their story is incredible and their love was so palpable. We had doctor Jeff Gardier and doctor Amber Brody with a thirty year age gap, interracial couple, once Jewish, once not. I mean, it was every opposite you could think of, Like all the stacks were against them, and yet still they were.
We were at their wedding, so and we Yeah. Kevin green so sorry, Samantha Greenstone and Jacob Hoff the mixed orientation couple, which was just a mind blower.
Okay, if you're trying to put your head around mixed orientation couple. He is a gay man, she is a straight woman. They are married and a monogamous sexual relationship.
With a monogamous sexual relationship, he hasn't talked about how they made it work. And then Austin Mackenzie and Kevin McHale. I love them. They're so fun. Yeah. So it's just it was a blast getting to know all of these couples. We know some of them individually as stars, but to know them as couples and how they relate to one another, it was just if you haven't listened to the series, if you want to go back and find it, I'm
telling you it is absolutely worth the listen. I have listened to it multiple times, several of them because they're so good. But yes, Rosa and Karatt caught their eye. I think it sparked their It sparked an idea to have a relationship column. It's funny, I keep saying. So we told them we wanted to call a relationship column. They wanted advice column. Did you see the finished version?
They called it a relationship advice column. So now, yeah, I shu read that this morning when I saw the press release just went out yesterday, the day before we recorded this, and I just looked at it because we had already fallen asleep by the time the press release. And they called it. So they married the two and they called it a relationship advice column.
And again, we've already seen a number of questions with a few wild scenarios but all relatable.
Still, yes, we we've already actually started the process of answering a couple of questions. And so yeah, if anyone listening has a question for us, please contact Yahoo and submit your question and wherever you can see, even on our social media. If you've got a question you want to be anonymous, that's fine, Like we will welcome any and all because it's it's fascinating to know what people are dealing with. But yeah, we had a I think one of the first ones that caught our attention was
do we do we give? Should we give? Specifics about some of these questions.
Just generally speaking.
That was a great scenario about a husband telling people that he was married out of obligation.
Yep. There was another one about you know, when you have that third person in your marriage, what would happen if someone moved that third person into your home?
That was a great The plastic surgery one was devastating.
There was an unbelievable plastic surgery scenario where you know, what happens if one partner changes how they look?
Yeah, and the other partners is no longer attracted.
Yeah, then there's sexual issues. You know what if one partner just doesn't want to have sex anymore. So, yes, this has been really interesting and I do think completely relatable. All of these are specific questions to specific people, but I think everyone reading it will either it's either going to relate to them or someone they know.
You're going to scream at the screen either way.
Yes, because some of the Oh my god, because our jaws dropped in seeing some of these already.
So we're really excited about this new project, and we hope that that you all are too, Because our plan right now is to have the column in Yahoo and then the next day or you know, in some you know timeline, but a timely timeline, we'll have a podcast about the column. And my dream is whoever writes the question, they can remain anonymous, but if we could get them on the podcast to go in deeper, how fun would
that be? So they ask us the question, we give our best attempt at advice, and then when we get him or her on the podcast, we can start asking questions. We can go deeper.
We should say it more confidently. You said we're gonna make our best attempt at advice.
Well, you know we I think we just came up with this idea. Yes, I'm sorry, I forgot. Yes, we're gonna make it happen.
Why did your voice get deeper?
Well, you know, because it was just authoritative. A yeah, I meant what I said.
So a man's voice is more authoritative.
Yeah, I hate to admit that, why don't we just fine? But we're going to make that happen. And I do think that that will be an exciting way to go even deeper, because if you're into the column, then you're invested in the story and you really want to hear from this person and what's going on.
I didn't realize it, but I was complaining earlier. I didn't realize this was my complaint with columns. I'm not used to the payoff. Someone writes in a question, they get an answer. I'd never get to know that the person take the advice, did it go well? Did it go poorly? So I would love to be able to pay these off.
Yeah, we could have multiple follow ups. If some of these stories as good as they sound, if you really get into the weeds, it actually might be it could become a series, you know. I mean some of these questions I think could actually be Netflix series. That's how crazy they are. No, there was a couple that we were just thinking, is this for real? Who's living like this? Like the eggshells you would have to step on every day in your own home to try and deal with
the situation. So yes, I think this could have a lot of legs.
One issue.
I just thought about this. So what if we get the follow up? Yeah, they took our advice and it went poorly.
Well, then we'll all learn an even bigger lesson.
We won't use those follow ups.
No, Hey, you all told me to do this, and look what happened. Oh, that would be terrible. Let's hope that doesn't happen. We'll try to use our best effort to make sure you all learn from our mistakes, not continue to make them or make more. That would be the goal. But we just wanted to let y'all know what was going on and what was behind it, and hopefully you're excited as well. And again, bring those questions
to us on our social media to Yahoo. We want to hear what you're going through and how we can help. So thanks for listening to us, and we'll see you later.