The conflict between our primitive brain and our prefrontal cortex is as old as our brain itself. Primitive brain wants to avoid pain, pursue immediate pleasure, and conserve energy, while our prefrontal cortex wants to plan for long-term goals and growth to improve the quality of our life. This conflict will often trigger internal negotiation between the two parts of our brain. When we can learn to increase our awareness around this negotiation and apply some tools to our thinking, we can find ...
Jun 30, 2025•35 min•Ep. 366
Our brain loves a good story, and what it doesn’t know in facts, it will make up with fiction. It also really like to have a villain, a hero, and a victim in its story, and it especially loves to put us in the victim mode because when there we don’t have to shoulder the responsibility for solving our problems, we can just stay in a place of blame, criticism, and accusation. If we are to move out of being stuck in victim mode, we have to learn how to banish the villain from our story and even sto...
Jun 23, 2025•27 min•Ep. 365
It can be so easy to neglect the relationships we most value because we have this ideas that they will always be there. And then, because of the neglect, they are no longer there. We may still be married, but we are distant and disconnected, and it can seem daunting to find our way back to connection. But it is possible to change the trajectory of our disconnected relationship and come back into feeling close and connected again. It will take some courage, it will take some intentional efforts, ...
Jun 16, 2025•37 min•Ep. 364
When we over-function, we are stepping into other people’s lanes and taking responsibility that is not ours. When we under-function, we are stepping back and inviting people into our lane to do things that we are responsible for doing. These one-up and one-down behaviors are so detrimental to our relationships and not only stem from our own insecurities but also feed the insecurities of others and promote resentment in everyone involved. This conversation with fellow mid-life relationship coach,...
Jun 09, 2025•49 min•Ep. 363
Continuing our journey this week of discovering ways that we can ive a more luxurious life by creating energy, living in alignment with our values, and stepping into the person we have the possibility of being. Living a luxurious life requires intention and focus, it requires discipline and dedication. And it is so worth it. When we are living with a bucket that is filled to overflowing, we are living a beautiful life. Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these ...
Jun 02, 2025•30 min•Ep. 362
Many of us dream of living a luxurious life, and we tend to confine that idea to materialistic luxury, houses and cars and clothing and jewelry and travel, all the things money can buy. And yet there is another type of luxury I want to talk about with you today, and it’s the luxury of living in alignment with our God-given possibility, the luxury of living a life that creates more energy than it expends, a life of feeling amazing in the love we have for ourselves, for others, and for God. This i...
May 26, 2025•38 min•Ep. 361
Sexuality between men and women can get complicated because we experience it so differently. And until we can begin to understand and accept those differences, and then learn to work with them rather than fighting against them, we will struggle to find the connection and intimacy that a great sexual relationship has to offer us. In this podcast I am speaking with Dan Purcell, a life coach and Christian couples sex expert about what women may not know about men's sexuality. You can find more of D...
May 19, 2025•51 min•Ep. 360
If we want to increase the intimacy and connection in our relationships, it is imperative that we show up as a safe person who creates a safe space. Often, the patterns we have established in our relationships are the opposite of safe, they cause our primitive brains to go into hyper protective mode and want to run away emotionally and physically. But when we can learn to show up safe, time and time again, we can create a space where our spouse may be willing to start engaging in vulnerability, ...
May 12, 2025•33 min•Ep. 359
Difficult emotions can be, well, difficult. And because they don’t feel good, we will often dismiss, ignore, or resist them, which can be unfortunate when there is so much amazing information behind the emotions we are feeling and why we are feeling them. When we can learn to be aware of the emotion and then step into curiosity to figure out what it is teaching us about ourselves, we become empowered to make the changes necessary for positive movement in our lives. And living in alignment with w...
May 05, 2025•33 min•Ep. 358
Our insecurities and the protective nature of our primitive brain can make meaningful connection in our relationships difficult. These protective tendencies make it difficult for us to step into truly listening and seeking to understand the other person. When we can learn to consciously set aside these human tendencies to preserve and protect ourselves, in areas where we really don’t need protecting, we can step in to truly understand and connect with the other person, relationships change for t...
Apr 28, 2025•34 min•Ep. 357
When Stacey first met me for her free consult, she was months out from a divorce and really struggling getting her feet on the ground. She was stuck in victim mentality and it was impacting the relationships with her children, herself, and everyone else. We started coaching one-on-one, and within 1 1/2 years, Stacy was on solid ground, had cleaned up her relationships with her children, and met and married a man who has to be her soul mate. Listen to Stacey share her story of growth and progress...
Apr 21, 2025•41 min•Ep. 356
Besides all of the life changes that occur in middle-age such as children leaving home, readjusting our marriage relationships, figuring out our next life steps, aging parents, etc., how about we add on a heaping serving of menopause where our hormones change and adjust and it affects us not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally as well. So much in such a small time space! On this podcast I'm speaking with Dr. Taylor Hahn, a menopause specialist, who answers many of your questions a...
Apr 14, 2025•39 min•Ep. 355
For many of us, fun is something that became more elusive as we got older. We were so involved in making sure our children and our spouses were doing well, that they were learning and growing and having fun, that our own fun often got put on the back burner. And yet, having fun and engaging in play is an important part of our mental and emotional health and is also super important to our relationships. I recently discovered that I had some work to do around play, and it’s helping me to feel more...
Apr 07, 2025•30 min•Ep. 354
Many of us think that if we could just take a confidence pill that everything in our life would be different, because confidence impacts our courage to step into new and sometimes scary situations and to take risks that could make our lives better. And yet, we all have confidence. Sometimes that confidence is just in things, but what we mostly struggle with is confidence in our SELVES. The confidence to believe that regardless of the outcome we will figure it out and have our own backs and still...
Mar 31, 2025•26 min•Ep. 353
Sione and I are just hitting our third anniversary. On this podcast we share what we have learned and incorporated this last year regarding how curiosity creates a safe space. Learning to slow down, to pause before responding, to remember that this is the person we love the most and choosing to show up curious and kind and compassionate have been important for us in creating a relationship that is remarkable. We can treat our partner with love and kindness and avoid the blaming, accusing, attack...
Mar 24, 2025•43 min•Ep. 352
Sometimes we go into a one-down space and spin in shame, other times we might go into a one-up space and justify our poor behavior by blaming others, both responses that harm our relationships. When we can, instead, approach our struggles from an ‘all people are equal’ mentality, we have the capacity to offer ourselves grace for our humanity. Understanding that all people are humans who make mistakes, who are figuring it out, levels the playing field and gives us permission to offer ourselves an...
Mar 17, 2025•29 min•Ep. 351
Divorce is one of those experiences that kicks you in the chest and knocks you on your butt, and it can be so difficult to get back up. And yet, at some point we have to get back up and step back into life. And though it's a tough road, it isn't impossible and it doesn't have to take forever. In this podcast I share some of my own insights about my divorce and four suggestions on how you can get back up on your feet feeling stronger and more capable than ever before. Thanks for listening! Want t...
Mar 10, 2025•34 min•Ep. 350
All of us have people who don’t like us, even if we are the most kind and Christlike person we know. It’s just part of our human experience. When we can learn to accept other people’s agency to not like us, we can let go of self-defeating behaviors like people-pleasing, perfectionist tendencies, trying to buy their love with time, money, energy, or resources, or beating ourselves up for ‘not being enough.’ The stronger our sense of self, the more we don’t need other people liking us, or validati...
Mar 03, 2025•28 min•Ep. 349
Expectation is a funny word. It means that we think something should happen a certain way or that someone should behave in a certain way, two things we rarely, if ever, have control over. What I’ve found is that expectations I have are often a cause of shame for the other person, and also for me. And shame is never a productive emotion. And yet, it’s hard not to have expectations. So, how do we move away from the expectations we feel entitled to have and instead offer more grace for humanity and...
Feb 24, 2025•31 min•Ep. 348
All relationships struggle, so all relationships need repair. Knowing how to repair is an essential skill for creating healthy and happy relationships, and that darn ego of ours can make it so difficult to show up in loving and kind ways because it wants to be right and it wants to prove to our spouse how wrong they are. But learning to show up creating a safe space for our spouse, especially in the context of a relationship struggle, is a valuable relationship tool that will change the trajecto...
Feb 17, 2025•41 min•Ep. 347
I love Viktor Frankl’s quote “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I am reminded by this that my power, my strength, and my freedom is created in the space between the stimulus (circumstance) and my response (my actions). But sometimes that space can seem so, so, so small. We can tend to react impulsively, without thought, rather than responding thoughtfully. How do we increase the spa...
Feb 10, 2025•38 min•Ep. 346
Just as women were raised with societal ideas and expectations around their sexuality, so were men. And so many of these ideas are actually harmful, and even destructive, to the emotional intimacy we desire in our relationships. In this podcast my husband, Sione, shares the concepts and ideas around sexuality that he learned growing up and how he learned to address them to create the emotional connection we now share. Download Transcript Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concep...
Feb 03, 2025•43 min•Ep. 345
Learning how to be vulnerable can be a scary and tough skill to acquire. So can learning to let other people in our lives be vulnerable. Because when others show up vulnerable, it can shake our ideas about who they are, it can shift our relationships, and it can challenge our own difficult emotions. But relationships will only thrive toward greater intimacy when we are vulnerable and when we create a safe space for the other person to be vulnerable as well. Learning to allow and even embrace oth...
Jan 27, 2025•29 min•Ep. 344
Many of us grew up in homes where we didn't receive any training about vulnerability in relationships. We were fairly uneducated about emotions, and it is very detrimental in our marriage relationships. My previous 24-year marriage struggled with a severe lack of vulnerability, and today we're talking about why that was such a problem and the difference vulnerability will make in your emotional intimacy. Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts: 190 P...
Jan 20, 2025•38 min•Ep. 343
If we are going to be all-in in our relationships, we have to be vulnerable, and that can feel super scary. Sometimes it's difficult because we are in a new relationship and it can be hard to be the one to make the first move. Sometimes it's difficult because our decades-long relationship is struggling and it's been a very long time since we were vulnerable with each other. But until we truly step into vulnerability, we will never create the deep, intimate, connected relationship we crave. So, h...
Jan 13, 2025•32 min•Ep. 342
Relationships can be hard. If we have created a pprotective pattern over the years, we may find that we are in a pattern of leaning out emotionally in our marriage and not having the intimate connection that we inwardly crave. When we choose to be all-in, we take a risk in our relationship, but it is also the only way to open a door that makes emotional intimacy an option. There aren't any guarantees how your spouse will show up when you choose to lean in, but I promise, you will be a better per...
Jan 06, 2025•38 min•Ep. 341
When a woman has devoted so many years to being a stay-at-home mom and then the kids grow up and leave, she will often feel as though she is floundering a bit to get her feet underneath her. What are her next steps? How does she enter the workforce with not a lot of 'working outside the home' experience in the last 30 years? Angela Ashurst-McGee is a career coach who focuses on helping women in this exact situation enter the 'working world' in the best way possible. Here are some great things to...
Dec 30, 2024•39 min•Ep. 340
There are so many things we love about the holiday season, the decorations, the gifts, the music, the family getting together. . . well maybe not always the family because, well, drama. But what if we could have holidays without all the drama? What if we could just enjoy the people, the conversations, the sentiments and the season for what we really want them to be? Today we're going to talk about just how to do that - how to show up in a way where we can sit on the sofa after it's all over and ...
Dec 23, 2024•36 min•Ep. 339
I believe that the holiday season is one of the greatest reasons for stress and anxiety for a lot of people. Today I have 6 really practical tips for you on how you can step back from the stress, spread yourself a little thicker, and really enjoy your holidays this year. Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts: 26 Taking Offense 77 Other People's Opinions 163 Difficult People 175 Happy No-Drama Holidays to You 231 Other People's Pain Are you curious ...
Dec 16, 2024•27 min•Ep. 338
God created us to be sexual beings. Through a lot of social conditioning in the 70s and 80s (and probably before, but I wasn't there), we got a lot of mixed messages about our sexuality as women, and one of them was not that as women we were created to be sexual and find a lot of pleasure and enjoyment there. From this conditioning, many of us struggle to be at peace with our sexuality and to engage in healthy and happy sexuality. When we have a strong sense of self, we are more fully capable of...
Dec 09, 2024•46 min•Ep. 337
