Then I remember at the age of ten, I started to try to pull the shaft skin onto my glands and fix it with scotch tape just to keep it that way. And I don't know what my inspiration was, but something bothered me, and sure, I figured out it didn't work. It didn't stay there as I hoped. The Intact Again podcast is an oral history project where we share stories from men who have been circumcised and are
working to restore what has been taken from us. Our hope is to inspire each other with our collective stories of loss and recovery. Welcome back to the Intact Again podcast. Today we're talking to Axel Blau, the creator of the fore Gestalt restoration device. He's a 56 year old man that originally hails from Germany, but now lives in Italy with his wife and two teenage
sons. He shares with us how his unique experience as a professional chemist and his experience as an engineer and general scientist has helped him to create a very popular restoration device. He was circumcised at age five and shares with us how he has been restoring and thinking and creating his device since 2017. Let's listen to Axl's story, or as we like to call it, his restory. What CI level would you
say you are at the moment? Well, I would say anything between seven and eight, but I have to say it really much depends on the day, the time, and I think I've never seen this to be discussed much. But my impression is that the penis has its own mind and does what it wants over the day. And sometimes the glance is covered. Other times it's just as I've never been restoring. But the good news is that once you pull the skin forward, it stays on the glands
again. So unlike regular or natural foreskin, unfortunately, the rigid band cannot be reconstructed. So sometimes the foreskin slips back, stays there happily, and you have to do manually pull it back over the glans. And sometimes it stays there for hours, and sometimes the glands is half covered. So I cannot really say I'm c eight, because this would not be true. It's in some moment it's c eight, in some other moments it's c six, something like that,
but it's mostly covered. Let's say I got you. How long have you been restoring? Well, since I started tinkering. That's a long time ago, and I didn't start restoring on a daily basis because I had no device. But when I started to think about restoring, that, I think was around 2017 when I played around with ideas. But seriously, I think I started around 2019 when I had the device more or less ready. And I never tried other commercial devices. I tried to mimic them or reproduce features of them.
But seriously, I never used any of these consistently. So my story begins around 2019. And I was around at that time, I think, below c two. So in Europe, where I live, it's very common to not cut down to c zero or c one. But since then, yes, I made progress until two years ago when I was around c six, and I was quite happy with that. And overall, I think, yeah, that's now five years in total. Something I've heard from other restorers in
Europe. Well, basically anywhere but the United States, they seem to leave more and often leave the frenulum intact. Where the United States, they really do a number on the frenulum usually there's. No statistics about that. So unfortunately, even I doing research many years ago, starting many years ago, around that time, you collect information, collect, collect. And then if you don't put it together in a structured way, unfortunately, you can't make any statistics or a general
statement on this. So people have tried, but not sufficiently tried, and that will be a great effort. Maybe there should be a wiki about that or so in the end, there might be a common knowledge generator. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Well, I'm 56 now, and that's actually also a thing that has to be taken into consideration if you think about restoration efficiency efficacy.
I guess I reached an age where it becomes a longer procedure, whereas if you are young, healthy, have a healthy lifestyle, no health issues, then you can speed up the restoration process. I don't know. There is, again, no data on that. But restorers who do make an amazing progress within the shortest time, eight months, from c
two to c five or something. It will be very interesting to find out how they live and if they told a little about themselves and what actually regime restoring regime they use, because that will be very informative to the rest of the community. I don't care so much how long it takes. I've reached a level at which I'm happy with, and I'm just curious how far one can go. What would you say your gender identity is? It's something we always
ask. Well, I'm definitely male because I'm restoring, and actually I feel more maleness with every restoration progress I see. So, yeah, I didn't see or find myself differently, but I see other people have different ideas about this, but I have no problem with that. It's just I never consider it to. Be different or so what is your educational background? Im a
physical chemist by training. But I did many things in my life, so I today would very likely consider myself a general scientist with many interests beyond the education tag of being a physic chemist. And thats what I studied that. Then I taught physics and then I went into neuroscience. So it's a broad spectrum which has a common denominator, which is science, let's say. But it's lacking certainly other competences. But somehow it prepared me to try to create a device in the end.
And I also have to say I'm impressed with your device. I'm wearing it right now. I got it yesterday and I wore it at work 9 hours, no problems. I didn't have to turn it off once. Well, good to hear. Thank you. Yeah, it was designed for that, so I cannot say. Some people can make good use of it, they are happy with it, others have no, cannot relate to it. So it's like with everything else I guess. No, people, like some operating system, prefer one over the other or
one brand shoe brand over the other. So it's a personal choice. You have to give it a try. And once you experience it, you may decide whether this is for you or not. Unfortunately, with this kind of device, you cannot get into a store, try it on, see whether it solves your problem. I've often wondered this. I'm curious to find out from a device maker, how do you imagine your restore store, what would that be like for you?
Restore store? Yeah, first of all, my perfect imagination would be it should never exist. So in first place, because society changes first and makes it obsolete, there is no store for condoms for instance. No, you cannot go into a drugstore and try it on or so yeah, you have to go make a purchase and then decide later on for some devices or some things in life, it wouldn't work. Even so, if I understood your question correctly, to have a store for restoration devices.
Yeah, that would be great if all the device makers took a decision to put themselves together. Because in my opinion, each device has its advantages, disadvantages. And so people, if they see the devices, can touch them in a way, then they can make a more educated decision, I would say so. Now, seeing just pictures, you have to buy and face or hear other restore stories. But even then, if you read reviews, it's like
personal preference. Some like it, some are happy with it, others hate it, others don't know how to use it and it falls apart. And this is not specifically for our device, but I think holds for every device? Yeah, definitely. I've tried a lot of devices and I. The thing that impressed me about your device is that it very cleverly avoided
the pinch issue. A lot of devices, they have that one part where it comes to a cone or a dome and it just squeezes, and you just eliminated that part of the equation, which I had to give you. Kudos. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of something like that. That was very clever. Well, thank you. Yeah, but I. I mean, maybe we will come back to that later. But it comes out of what I learned during my various careers about tissue and tissue conformal devices. And it's about a penis
being soft tissue. And if you bring soft tissue in contact with Brigidae stuff, then in consequence it will hurt. I mean, it's like having a spine in your finger. It's like hurting like hell whenever you move it. And because it's not compatible, the spine is rigid and your finger has soft tissue. And if the spine were something soft, you wouldn't even notice, I guess. So that's one of the main differences. Although they are devices that are also completely made of silicone and soft,
they. Very much started out with hard devices, and then they gradually get softer and softer and softer. Does yours use the dragon skin or. We use a proprietary. I don't know how to spell this or pronounce it, but it's just a mix of various silicones and there's fresh silicone. I honestly don't want to reveal too much, but it's not something you buy on the shelf. How would you say, having kids, being a husband, have those two things influenced your restoring
journey? I think it didn't affect any aspect of my relationships and in this case, with my wife and even with my kids, I don't. I mean, they see me, I see them and they ask questions. Why is that? And why we are different. But they. They were small when they asked these questions. And today it's not an issue anymore. It's a funny thing. I mean, I think a relationship, a family, it's not about how is your penis looking like. No, it's just. It would be reducing a lot of experiences to one thing.
It's one of the things, it's like, why do you grow gray hair and out of a sudden? And we are blonde or red. So you didn't ask these questions because they're marginal in a way. It's more just a part of who you are. So it's the same as a hair color or anything else? Yeah, in a way. It is. And maybe if they grow up, they learn about circumcision and then
they can judge about it. But I think a, it's too early to talk about this in a serious way, because they would not see the problem with it, that it can emotionally hurt people and ruin somehow their future. But sooner or later the topic will come up. What do you do for a living? Do you do device manufacturing full time or do you do other things professionally? Well, after I left academics, I became sort of a science and technology consultant, and that's actually the main work and
income. And the restoration business is just started as a hobby because I wanted to get a solution for myself. I didn't even consider to make it a business, but then turned out it made me so happy myself that I thought, well, let's share it with the rest of the world. And so I tried to get into business, which I had no experience with. I was lucky to always be in an academic environment which is very protected. You don't have to think about any bureaucratic issues, it's just about
science. And now I had to face many issues that I needed to learn right now. In retrospective, I would have said it was a very stupid idea, but I think it's the only way to share it with the world and with whomever is interested in it. It's difficult, let's say, and it doesn't make that much money, by the way. So whoever wants to start a business like that takes a lot of time, and at some times it doesn't even pay the rent, depending on how popular your
device gets. But. So it's a side thing that consumes a lot of time, but I consider it still as a hobby. I like the technology, I like the tinkering aspect of it, I like to think about new solutions or improvements. So it's not a burden, but let's say the bureaucracy behind it, all the other stuff, that's a new burden that I would like to avoid. There's no set age for people restoring. In our meetings we had somebody that just turned 18 and we have people that are 60 plus.
I think somebody's close to 70. Yeah. I'm surprised also to find so many enthusiasts beyond the sixties. It's a great encouragement. I think part of it is that when you get 70 plus, you start having other issues that can be compounded by the damage of circumcision. So if you're able to fix the circumcision, that can almost compensate for other things that might be happening. I don't have scientific
verification of this. But I am convinced the sale of Viagra would go down considerably if circumcision wasn't a thing. Because I think that there's a lot of problems that are caused by it. Yeah, interesting thought. And even at a young age, they have problems with erections just because it hurts and so on. And so circumcision certainly seems to contribute to all of these problems, and they don't seem to matter. These strange hygiene arguments in whatever they claim seem
to be more important. But I guess for other reasons, something. That somebody else said in the group. I absolutely love this argument, because people make the hygiene argument, oh, you should get circumcised because it's cleaner. He made a very good point, because a lot of people argue it's not more dirty. All you have to do is wash it. But he made the point of, you're allowed to be dirty. You can choose to be dirty. If you take off every part of the body that gets
dirty, you would look like a dolphin. You would just be this aerodynamic kind of torpedo. You could shoot through the water. Somehow humanity survive for close to a million years with a foreskin, no problem. Before the invention of soap. And somehow in the modern day, it's a big problem. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely crazy. How did you first become aware that you were circumcised? The story goes like this. I think one day I came out of the toilet, I had to go to the bathroom during dinner,
and it somehow burned. So I had a burning feeling. The funny thing is, that's the few things I remember when I was at the age of five, and that's it. So somehow I don't know whether it was the next day or I. A week later, I found myself in a hospital. And with this immense pain. And because I think the doctors, they said, okay, we can do this in a minute, and we don't need anesthetics or. They were not available at that time, because it was in the early seventies.
So these two memories stuck in my brain. And so I was circumcised at age five. Certainly thereafter, I didn't think much about it. But then I remember at the age of ten, I started to try to pull the shaft skin onto my glands and fix it with scotch tape, just to keep it that way. And I don't know what my inspiration was, but something bothered me, and sure, I figured out it didn't work. It didn't stay there as I hoped.
And I became aware of it also. When you do these doctor games or when you're kids, completely innocent. And when you see other friends peeing and you peeing and what I tried, it's actually very embarrassing and funny. I tried again to push my shaft skin onto the glands to appear like the others. I wanted to look like the others, I think, and made a big mess and they looked very confused. But I have a brother and a sister. He's not circumcised. So I was always
bothered by the bad look of it. I mean, you have a scar down there and it's not that you get ridiculed or anybody looks bad at you, but I didn't like it myself. Simply, I mean, I didn't like the look and I tried to change that. I went to boys only school, so I had no exposure to girls. So. And there at a certain age when you become, even before you become a teenager, you show and tell, let's say. So you do things, you explore your sexuality, and it was just a game. You explore your body and you
see what other bodies do. And I wouldn't say I was gay at the time because I think that comes after puberty. But having not been exposed to women, well, I got just in the interested in the sexuality of my fellow boy fellows. But once I left that school, certainly life changed completely. And I changed completely to become a straight, if you want to. I mean, if you want to call it like this. And I lost this interest, actually, I'm not interested in men.
So today I would say straight. But I well remember these episodes when I was a teenager. Did those experiences further affect how you perceived your body being circumcised in a culture that was mostly intact? No, there were other kids that were circumcised. So it was kind of a mix and nobody made any fuss about it. So it was never an issue. Well, it was only an issue for myself because I didn't like the looks. I didn't even like the looks in the others, other circumcised boys. But it
never was on top of my mind. Let's say it was never a priority. Whenever it came up. Well, I said, okay, you look different. I'm like this, but didn't have any effect on how I experienced sexuality. I think it sounded like you had an actual medical problem and that's why you were circumcised. Keeping that in mind, what were your family's attitudes towards circumcision? Because it sounds like you were the only one to get circumcised in your family, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, yeah, that's the
case. Well, it was the seventies and I think they trusted just what the doctors recommended. I asked them just like ten years ago about it and they said, okay, the doctors diagnosed femax phimosis today. It sounds ridiculous because there's so many other ways to treat. I mean, first of all, I think at that age it's not famous.
Secondly, you can treat it differently. And in my opinion, because I remember the burning sensation, it was just a urinary tract infection and they could have given antibiotics and the thing was over. I think it was ignorance and the trust in a doctor's opinion. So they just followed the recommendation. And going forward in your life after that moment, has that affected your view of the medical profession as a whole, on any level?
I wouldn't say, but I'm really surprised about how medical doctors, I mean, they are privileged to get the highest degree of training in society. They are intelligent people and they have the ability to reason and analyze cause and effect, and they still, at least in the US, vote for circumcision. You look at other parts of the world and you see that 70% of humanity, of male humanity, is not circumcised. And as an intelligent person, you may wonder, why is that? And why do we have that?
And why is the disease rate in those countries not much higher than in our nation? And apparently nobody did this for themselves and they never questioned this. So it's ignorance paired with probably the main driving force with greediness, I would suppose. I'm not sure. Certainly it's a big business issue. So they say, okay, it doesn't do much harm and I can earn instead a lot of money out of it, buy my next nice car on my vacation. So I accept that as a part
of sacrifice. Let's say it's nevertheless against their hippocratic oath, that is do no harm. I don't understand how they can personally live with this schizophrenic decision. And seeing that the income increase in income is more worth than the future of 30% of children in the world. It'S something I would never do. And I can't put myself in the head space of anybody that would knowingly do this to a person. So it's a hard question to
answer. I've never understood it myself. Because if a doctor said, oh, we just routinely remove the outside of the ear, why? Oh, we don't ask that question. For people, at least in the states, to not even question such a weird thing is just insanity to me. Yeah, I think, I mean, it's for many things you talked about the Nazis and the collaborators.
And you could ask, why did you do this? And, well, I had to support my family, or they always find reasons for this because their personal lives are affected, so they are willing to sacrifice other lives just for their personal security or in wealth or whatever. So apparently that's the corruptness in our human nature, because no crime should actually happen. If you have an ethical mindset. When did you first learn about forskin restoration?
I remember you said that you tried to do kind of some things with scotch tape way back when you were a ten, but when did you learn, hey, I'm not the only one trying to fix this. And other people have come up with stuff. I can't remember this either, because I think it's a flow of influences and information. We had, like, 3d printers in our former lab. And so I thought, okay, when they're not running for signs, I can try to tinker around.
And then I thought, well, why don't we get foreskin stretching device? But I'm not sure how much research I had done at that time. I was pretty ignorant about it, and I don't even remember how it came to my mind to even try. But I tried, and, well, I played a bit with it. So then, over time again, must be many factors. No specific factor that I made a decision. Tomorrow I start restoring. It was more like,
okay, let's see what others did. And the decisive moment was that I learned from makers and other companies and testimonials that it leads to a result that's so desirable and very similar to a real foreskin. And that encouraged me to go on. How would you say the techniques you used evolved over time? I know you said you'd never used other people's devices, but in that case, how have your devices evolved over time? Well, we talked about this earlier. I thought devices should
be soft and tissue conformal. That's what I learned from the scientific studies I did myself in neuroscience. But I certainly tried to reproduce parts of other concepts of other devices and try to make them a little different so they would be either easier to use or so. But all of it ended finally, after, I don't know, two and a half years of tinkering, trying, throwing away of ideas. I think there were, like, at least 80
concepts I have tried. And it actually came back to one of the very first ideas I had. The actual Vogelstahl companion that you see today is very similar to what I had in mind when I started to play around with these ideas, because I found out that all the others that were easier to produce were not my type, though. They were just hurt or you couldn't pee through, or they had just their problems or they would break in some way. But in the end, I apparently
started to do it more systematically. I asked myself, what should be the criteria for the best device that I would like to buy. Again, it should be tissue conformer, it should be soft, and it should be compatible with my penis. And then I think I realize, okay, I love to drink teas, green tea. So I often have to go to the bathroom. So it should be a device with a urination channel, because taking it on and off with the prototypes was
always a pain, and I didn't like that. And each time I go to bathroom do this, I lose five minutes, and I then it doesn't work. I have to go back. And I noticed with all devices that had, like a glance bell, that somehow, even already in the early days, I thought that, or I noticed that the skin got stretched also, not only axially, but also laterally, so it got a little flabby, and I didn't like that result.
So what I had in mind to create a device that was putting all of its tension, actually along the penis shaft so that it would create a tight foreskin in the end. And I think that's also one of the reasons, if I may insert that. Many restorers complain or are disappointed by the fact that you never get to the rollover point, which is you have a lot of skin developed, but it doesn't stay on the glands or cracks immediately or soon. And I think it's because of that point that the tissue gets
stretched in many directions. It gets a little flabby, and so there is no reason to hold it over the glans. If you don't have a big glans or glans ridge, that is in retrospective, I think, at least in my opinion, one of the smartest parts of this device, that it truly creates a tight and wrapping, tightly wrapping and natural looking foreskin all over the restoration cycle.
What was the inspiration for the retaining part? The part that actually goes over and holds the skin in place so it's not directly pressing against, it's not pinching against the very tip of what's in the device. Was there any particular inspiration for that part? Because that's one of the things that's very unique about yours. I noticed right away. It's why I bought the thing, I think came. And naturally, it has this mushroom shaped base, and then we call it sheath. You fold it over.
But I have to admit. So you see some edema and blistering that goes away very quickly. But people are usually very much alarmed about this. Completely benign. So it's not perfect in the sense, but somehow you as a tinkerer, you get lucky sometimes. So I hadn't even, I guess, thought about this aspect, but it came out that way just for practical reasons. I cannot recall or reconstruct this, but, yes, it was a lucky coincidence, I would say. Do you consider what you've grown to a foreskin
or do you prefer calling it something else? Because we're pretty split down the middle when it comes to that. One person called it a faux skin. Good terminology. Yeah. It's a surrogate foreskin, if you wish. It does partially compensate for what was lost, but it's certainly not a real foreskin. What I noticed myself is that the skin is much thicker and when you look at pictures of natural foreskins, they are very delicate,
fine and so on. So apart from losing all the sensitivity, I mean, the nerves are there but they're ending in nothing. So you could probably, through stimulation in some way get some sensitivity back. You certainly get, like the decaratinization, a smoother glands, a more sensitive glands. But I think it looks very much like a natural foreskin. For me, it's one of the most important aspects, but for others it's the sensitivity. But it's absolutely not comparable to the real foreskin,
which I've never experienced. But if you look up the functions, the literature, it certainly has none of missing many of the features. So, yes. How would you say this has changed how you feel about your body? I enjoy the look and feel a lot better not being scarred anymore. So I never understood why some people perceive circumcised penises to look sexy. It's like saying scars look sexy. Some people may fall for scars, though, but just not me. I did this for myself.
I wouldn't consider that I had any problems in sexuality. But if you're circumcised at early age, you never experience sex with a foreskin. So you don't know what it feels like. And I think your brain or your mind compensates for that with imagination. In my case, it was a lot of imagination as a compensation for the lack of the foreskin. So I never really noticed, let's say, a disability in sexual performance. Have you noticed an increase in sensation or other things since you've restored.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sex has improved slightly just because you have a new possibility to include the foreskin and pleasure. But I don't necessarily conceive it as a magical improvement, not like many others report. I guess too much got lost in first place to restore the original sensitivity. But I do appreciate the new sensitivity of the mostly decharonized glands, though, in this context, just to round it up. I mean, for me, sex is more of a holistic rather than a penis focused experience.
So being circumcised was never a big issue with my partners or with enjoying sexuality in general, either be it alone or somebody else. So again, I think it's just that my brain compensated for it with imagination. How have your family and friends responded to you restoring? Do the
people around you know that you're restoring? Well, when I confronted my parents, they were rather indifferent, like, let's not talk about it intending to say we were all also victims of the medical system and that decision in the past, so we didn't know better. This somehow also comes with the message, don't you have anything better to do or to think about in your life or spare time than reversing circumcision? So it's like it doesn't affect somehow their thought. It's not a topic, let's say.
I understand that's a sentiment that a lot of us in the community, as you've probably noticed, have gotten. Why is this an issue for you? Or why are you wasting your time with this? I don't know if you've heard this response to this, but no one would say that about reversing any other amputation. If you could work out and regrow a hand, nobody would go, why are you wasting time regrowing your hand?
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. They would all be in favor, give you the next Nobel Prize and throw a lot of money onto you. Actually, that's an interesting thing. I wonder if fortune succeeds or if somebody succeeds just regrowing it completely, if they would win the Nobel Prize. Probably not, because everybody would just make jokes. What do you like most about restoring? Being a scientist and a sort of tinkerer, I like experimenting to see and experience results that you
would not have thought of before. I mean, as you said, sometimes you're surprised you have 99% failure. And then one lucky moment where things work out, and I like to see the progress and actually that's what keeps me going and to see where it ends. Apparently there's no limit, but let's see. What is next on your restoring journey. Well, firstly, keep going. And secondly, trying to remain inventive to give ice wise improve. What I'm already quite happy with, but you
never know. There are always spontaneous ideas that come up once in a while, and then you can ask how to make use of them. What advice would you give to somebody else that's restoring and might be struggling with motivation or struggling in some other way in all the years that you've been restoring, what little bits of knowledge might help future and current restorers? Well, I think for most the answer is the same as I answered before. Keep going. The results
are very rewarding on the long run. You just have to take the breath and run. Keep running. If you have difficulties to stay motivated, simply make poor skin restoration a habit, like brushing your teeth, I would say. Obviously also, brushing your teeth is not the nicest hobby you would choose. Also. This, however, has a long term benefit, and making it a habit also helps
your brain to stay focused. Actually, our brains are somehow wired to love habits and be it good or bad habits, once you acquire a habit, it is difficult to quit or escape from that habit. And in that sense, it will help needs. Just an initial phase, which is painful, I guess, to start with. But like drinking your cup of coffee, there is. That's a habit. I think that's a habit you like, perhaps, but when you skip a day without coffee, your brain will make itself notice and say, hey,
where's my coffee? I also notice that skipping a few days may actually be beneficial, so I don't punish myself. Oh yeah, I've forgotten it again. But I say, okay, let's see what comes out of it. Maybe three days are better than two days to stay without. Or do you really see a bad difference? What advice would you have for somebody that wants to either make a device for themselves or
wants to sell devices? Well, first of all, a warning. So if you have a strategy or device technology in mind that you are convinced would be worth sharing with the rest of the world, do not expect to become rich with that. If you intend to sell it and not even pay the rent, as I said before, but instead do it for the better good. That aspect will actually enrich in many ways and reward you much more than money, I would say.
And the other advice, maybe so come up with an alternative to smart and innovative idea, or even ideas, something new that works even more effective to enli than what people have thought of until now. Did making your own devices allow you to have a sense of independence because you're not depending on others for your restoration journey? Again, I am too much of a curious person who thinks I okay, I've seen this.
Does it fulfill my needs or is there anything to improve or I rather tinker a little and buy it on the street next door? It's just a mix of tinkering, trying, and it's like a hobby. Let's say. This podcast is hosted by Dick Guyver and edited by Openroads. If you enjoyed this episode, please hit the subscribe button and share it with your friends. Want to join our weekly video chat? Click the link in the show notes for details. We also need your help to keep this
podcast going. For just $3 a month. You can help us pay for the podcast and inspire others in their foreskin restoration journeys. Thanks for listening and look for new episodes coming soon.