Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side.
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything on the other side.
Yes we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world, life is going to be more fun and much more serene.
Uh heck, yes it can. Because let's be honest, br in, earth school is hard.
In fact, you taught me that, let's crush Earth school together.
Well, hello, my witchy, who oh my god, she's already laughing, y'all. And here's the thing. If you guys remember last week when she did her like waving wand in her hand bullshit to like do the countdown to come back in. I actually did that, and so she was. She had the memory again of that moment and she started laughing on us. So hello, I WITCHI pooh, hello, my hell. How is the number eight working for you?
Well more, finally we get some very interesting feedback. People are really engaged on the eight and thinking about how they can leverage that number right and love that right, and how to like engage other people in the eighteness to get things done right, which I loved, right, and especially thinking about how to manage the reputation, like how
they're going to feel that more consciously. And I love this so much, right, and it's really inspired, you know, this kind of follow up segment about you know, how to work your work in the in the year of.
The eight, right, Yeah, and I love that, Okay, And I just have to say, we called this work your work number eight just collect Chanel number five, So kind of think of this episode as a really great fragrance to how to work your work. On who you are when you go right, no matter what your work is, yeah, like who are you? Who's showing up? And how do you get to that place?
And like some people will even put eight as a screen saver on their phone to remember, like just to keep it top of mind. Like as there's an eight, there's a frequency here of eight or four. It's like some one person said to force my number, so you know I'm double four, you know, yeah, so make it work for you.
Obviously it takes I just don't want to take Suki's picture off my phone.
Well why why wouldn't you right, It just makes me happy.
I'm right now at it or baby Yeah, no, I'm not betting on there, but I love that people do. Yeah, I just don't have suki.
Yeah, just to keep top of mind, right, just to keep that that eight frequency you knows as you're moving through the year, make it available to you, know that it's working for you and can really support you as you leverage it. So we're going to unpack that a little bit more today.
Yeah, I love that. I it's you know, how you show up. So that's number eight. That would you know chanel number eight or school number eight? You know. I let's just go back a little bit. So let's do a little history here and talk about a lot of the advice that people have been given for the workplace and also what some workplaces have done to support their employees. And you know, I have been a very vocal hater of the book Lean In by Cheryl Sandberg. And it's
not that I dislike Cheryl. It's just that when you because like we've had so much noise, right and change through through the generations that it's kind of hard to keep up with all the wants and needs and desires and who who do you need to show up to be Like if you're you know, a generation exert like myself, do you show up trying to be cool like the millennials and disease? No, you don't. That's your answer if
that's what you worry about. My problem with the lean in was if you lean in all the time, you're a dick. That's my answer to her book, Like I should write, you lean in all the time, you're a dick. That's a telephony book, because you shouldn't always your voice doesn't always have to be heard, you know, it just it doesn't.
It's correct, that's correct, And it's not that she needs me to defend her in any way. But but I think, yes, lean in was a moment in time, and after that moment.
I agree, and I also think, I mean, that's some of the work advice. But I also think when we start seeing patterns of what's happening in the country and in the world, is that everybody thinks that all thoughts that they have in their head must come out of their mouth, and whether it comes out of their mouth or they tie but on a keyboard. And that's also not the workplace y'all. The workplace does not ask your opinion about world events. Your workplace does not care. That's
not why you are there. And I think it's putting into perspective about the balancing. You know, Listen, you have the choice, right you can go to work and be who you are and maybe you're an asshole. Well you're
not going to have that job for long. But there's this whole movement of you know, be who you are authenticity and it's like, yeah, of course, but you always have to remember though somebody's paying you to do this, to go to work, you know, like there is a separation, and I just want to temper this for everybody, you.
Know, hopefully. Yeah, I think it's important that, yes, we want you to bring your full self to work, because there are also people like, well, you're not talking about my area of work, so I'm not going to weigh in. I'm like, wait a minute, Yeah, you know, you're part of this team. As team produces affects your area, you wouldn't be on the team, right, There's got to be some interdependence somewhere, and so like, even though this may not be happening in your backyard, on the team it's
still part of the team. What do you think about this? Like, I mean, I want you to share who professionally, you know, like your thoughts. That's important. I may not need to no.
Idea well, but see that's what I'm talking about now. So then so what you're talking about is one aspect of it, yeah, which is bringing a whole self and giving a shit about what you're doing. But what I'm talking about is, you know, my job did not require me to be upset. The day that No One ate was Yes on eight and it was against gay marriage in California. I was angry that day. And there are days I wish I could redo of when I brought my whole self in and when I should have checked
part of myself at the door. You know, we had a really bad habit at different workplaces of talking about politics. No, that is dangerous now, y'all.
You know, it's like you said, everything changes, The world.
Keeps changing, and you know, the last thing anybody needs to do is to bring up or participate in a conversation about the Israeli and Hamas war. Don't do it. Don't do it because that's not your best self. And by the way, your job doesn't ask you to do that unless you're a journalist. See, this is the thing that I think is a really great filter would we
talk about. I mean, we need to probably roll back a little bit here, but I think that that when you're preparing for who you are at work, remember what your work is asking of you. Right Like, your job isn't asking for you to sit there and spend half an hour talking about the dinner you had last night. It's not. Your job isn't asking you what your opinion is on the world stage. Your work isn't asking what you think about a certain legislation being passed in the
state of California. And even if you're gay, you know your work's not asking you these things. And I say these because you know I've done them all wrong. I've done all the things I just listened, I've done And so I can sit here in full and utter honesty about this, with zero judgment, but with history and wisdom to know that that's not a good thing. So preparing for work is I think what we need to talk about when we get.
Back and welcome back. How are you doing my health? Well?
I'm trying to step off my soapbox right, But I'm afraid I'm going to step on another one.
Now. Well, we're going to talk about because we talk about, you know, the eight year, how are you prepare to do your work? Whatever? Whatever you know you put into that quotation of work could be home, could be work, could be community, whatever it is. But how you to prepare to do your work? And I think there are two parts. One is how you individually design your life to do your work, and then how you the organization the systems that organization has to support you doing your work.
So let's talk about those.
I think that is fantastic. So there's the personal responsibility and then the corporate training for you. Right, So from a personal responsibility, you know, I can say that again through experience of doing things wrong and right that in my version of the wrong bucket. Susanne used to joke with me that every morning I would go through the fire drill to get ready to go to work, which is I would stay in bed until the last possible second, jump in the shower, and then make my drive to work.
And that and that's really how I was leading my life. And when I started to balance myself better balance my day, balance my night, when I would get it and from This is what worked for me. And again, it doesn't matter. I mean I was a desk jockey, so it doesn't matter if you work for UPS or you on a
flower shop. It's the start of your day. Everybody has a has a start, right, So mine was was actually I would work out and then I would do We had a Plotti's reformer at home and I would intentionally get on the reformer, so I not only was my body more flexible, but my mind was more flexible.
So because I'm curious what changed from your your fire droll mornings versus your intentional mornings? What changed for you?
What changed when I showed up?
Or what? Well? No, what changed? How did you get from? Oh?
Why did I get there?
You know?
I wow? I wasn't expecting that question, but thank you.
You know.
I saw myself fairly stagnant in the fire drill. Not that I was doing my work was bad. I wasn't really living up to what I wanted to be, what I thought I could offer. I also saw where I wasn't utilizing my full day. I was kind of spending the first part of it kind of getting adjusted to the world a little bit yep, because.
It's like you got shot out of a cannon every day.
I got shot out of a kit. Yes, I shot myself out of a cannon every day. It's true though. Yeah, And so I made changes, and everything changed when I started making those changes, and then I started making changes to where the night before I would look at my schedule, I would see what I had ahead of me. I would think about that in advance, and also knowing that stuff changes when you get there, but the expectations, you know, it's like if I have a lot of friends at
their sons. Interestingly are ups drivers and the most successful ones who actually look at their route. No, for real, they look at their right And it's a really great job for a lot of these young men. They love it. They treat their employees really well, and therefore they want to give back, right, they want to give them their best, yeah, and keep the drop their route. Yeah, they'll they'll look at their routes to look at the weather, you know, like they'll just get prepared.
Well.
I was looking at my routes and looking at my weather the night before, just so I could, you know, see if I was going to have a stormy day, you know, it was going to be bright and sunny because I have them all right, So that was the prep, right like, and it was intentional and it wasn't. I wasn't dismissive. I wasn't I don't want to go to work? Can I tell you that there was not a single day in my life that I actually did want to
get up and go to work. I love that, no matter what the job was, whether I worked at the sub shop that my mom's friend owned in Miamma or quick Stop Too or whatever it was as a convenience store in Myma, Oklahoma, still there, I think. But it's but that is also part of knowing getting prepared again, no matter what you fucking do, is that you're contributing to society, and which I think leads us a little bit into the second one. And by the way, do you anybody do do you on how you get ready?
Because I also started meditating in the morning for like five minutes as part of my prep. Like I was up at five, five, five thirty in the morning to get ready for what I was doing.
I was.
I was in bed hopefully a sleep by ten, and I had that rhythm. Also, you know, I don't drink anymore, like at all. But I would drink back in the day, but I not during the week because that would hurt what I was doing, and ultimately any day was not good for me with it. But that's points another episode. I know, what the hell, but I'm an eight right now, I'm eighteen. I'm eighteen and fiving right now. But I
think that it was also really interesting. And what I like to do and when I have some time is I read about different companies. And I was so enamored and impressed with this company called Dutch Brothers. It's a coffee place, and I think we've already established I've never had a cup of coffee in my life, so it's not like I read only the things I like, Otherwise I want to be reading about dunkin Donuts. But I was reading about Dutch Brother's coffee, and it's this up
and coming their business is going. It's their business is soaring. And when I read about why their business was soaring, even though people love their product, like they like the kind of interesting flavors and combinations that they offer, but they loved how friendly and kind the employees of Dutch Brothers are well, And when's the last time you've heard that.
It's been a minute. Right. That's impressive, right, that cultural personal engagement. People are not raving about that sort of thing these days.
No, which is why I wanted to bring it up, because that is a current day corporate situation where it's so important to them that that you, their customer, is so important that they make that part of who they are, part of the culture, part of the training, you know, and you just don't you don't see that like back and they when you and I were talking at the break about it, or before we started about this, was Disney.
Disney set the standard back in the day how they trained their their cast members, right. I mean it's just even you know, because words matter, right, so they would they weren't employees, they were cast members. Right. We're putting on an entertainment experience, so yeah.
Right, And people have saved for a big chunk of their life to take their family to this experience.
And they took it seriously, and they.
Took it it is serious. Yeah, yeah, you know, entertainment that is serious. It's like people who's been a fortune to go on a cruise and then they end up it's stinky and the food sucks and like why did I work and save and scrape to come do this?
You know?
So you know when I was when I was first working at ad agencies back in the early nineties, they had training, oh yeah, and serious raining, like you stayed in the evening to go through the training courses and to do your work. But it set an expectation of a professionalism. They taught us how to write PowerPoint decks, which they weren't I think they weren't PowerPoint back then. Of course I broke all those rules because that's what I do. But they gave like a basis and a consistency of service.
Well, and it was part of the culture. They're actually teaching you about the corporate culture. This is what's expected to you. This is how we work. This is the standard that you will be judged by and how you'll be accepted. How you will get work done is by working in this way. And today, I mean they literally put employees in front of a video and like this is your training. Good duck.
I don't even know what to say about that, but see, but I think what's happened and why would really another reason we wanted to talk about this, not that you guys. I mean, yes, you all got excited about eight. But the other thing is is that things with exception of Dutch brothers, and we don't know everything of every corporate company or small company. But the reality is is that
you have to kind of train yourself these days. You have to take some initiative in the morning, afternoon, whenever it is that you start your work day and to get prepared, because that's how that eight is going to shine.
Right, That's how you leverage that energy that's very strong and supportive. Right, It's how you literally garner resources to you and including supporting you the resource of your reputation in your professional and social communities. So it's really yeah, it's really important because how you do what you do matter, So how you approach your every day right is super important.
So what we'll come back and talk about some other interesting trends that we've been seeing and hearing about when we get back for this next break and we're okay, or maybe we won't stop doing this, but we keep doing the whole like magic wandy witchy hand ester and we come back and now that one of us, don't one really coming back now? And that happened so, and it was actually my job to bring us back. So Brenda, I'm going to just hand it over to you.
So one of the things right in the last thing we talked about how my elf gave great examples of how she prepared for work when she went through the shift that said, I'm feeling a little stuck. I feel like I'm not doing everything I could do, and perhaps I'm not going to get to the level that I actually want if I'm not bringing everything I can. I imagine there was something like that connected there. I don't know, you didn't say that, but I'm thinking, maybe does that makes sense?
So you and that's actually when I became a president of the company.
This is exactly like I was working. And I began, yeah, because you were bringing it, and I'm connecting the doubts too, because that is the energy of the eight. If you want to excel, this is your year, right, double down on it.
And I wanted to.
Yeah, of course you did, because you're totally capable, right, And I think this is a little bit of the generation we were brought up in, which is you own it, bring it right, if if if you got it, bring.
It work, which is workers right. I mean the generation we were workers, Yeah, and that's we were kind of raised that way and that's how it was, and good or bad, it's just it's just a generational thing and it just is.
And I think so you know, we talked about how to prepare and you know, leverage that energy so you have what you need to be the best you can and checking in the day before. For me, I like to set things up energetically a week before. That's how I like to cook energy. That's just me, not required, not better or worse. It's just as long as you're
getting what you want. It's important. Now. The second part of this is when you are clear about what you need and you're not taking full responsibility for it, or sometimes in an effort to try and get that need met, if you're not well rehearsed or you're not well practiced asking for it, it can come out a little sideways and it can come out a little victimy, and that doesn't do you, just as it's not taking care of that reputational eight energy by frequency that's surrounding us this year.
So you know, this is an opportunity to hone that skill to really support your needs, but to really think about hey, when I get challenged. You know part of in astrology when people will talk about, oh, I have this grind trine and water, which means it is all harmonious and trains are really soft energy and gifts blessings, and nobody can really feel them in their chart. So they're like, okay, whatever, nothing. It doesn't really get it expressed.
If you have a square or an opposition, it's harder. But it's where you get invited to grow. It's where you get invited to expand. And we know that our school is hard, so let it be hard with a specific reason for your soul expansion. That's the whole invitation here. So when you have something at work that's not working for you, yay, celebrated and not in a way that's like they don't respect me. That's what I hear a lot about it. They don't respect me, right, they're not taking care of.
That makes me insane. Well, I mean like I want to lose my mind because I've heard people say that. Look, that also just doesn't respect me.
There's so many times that's actually true. I literally had an executive tell me that she came in and she's like, I was literally on a video, you know, teams or something with my boss and one of his peers. And his peer literally said, we are very serious people here, little lady, little lady, Oh my god. But the thing is she did not melt down. She did not. She's like,
she goes, I'm not gonna lie. I thought for a minute, should I turn off my video while I've composed myself, And she's like, no, I'm just going to roll with this and I will laugh about it later. But right just want to die, you know.
But that's really funny.
But she did not, you know, say to her boss, you didn't save me. You didn't address that. She did talk to her boss and say, hey, I don't think i'm the best person to go into this meeting because he just told me he doesn't see me as a serious person. She's a VP in this in this company like that. She's like, whatever, I'm just clearly not the person. So this is yours. It's all yours, you know. And they had a good laugh about it. But the point is she didn't go in as a victim because of it.
She knew this is not, you know, an engagement I aspired to repeat and I'm not going to melt in the face of it, right, I can am not going to be like I can't work under these conditions. I'm going to talk to my boss. We're going to come up with a plan to make it functional, to make
it better. And I imagine this man is probably not going to say little later to me again, you know, like this is because they're going to have a conversation, because that's the plan where everyone saves faith, not in a dysfunctional way, but in a productive way to keep getting work done. And that's what's really important, is so that you go in as this is a problem, and I'm going to be part of the solution. I this. It might just be a problem for me, it might
be a problem for the organization. It doesn't matter. We're going to We're in it together to fix it. We can only fix it together. We can't win overall if one of us is losing. So let's let's bring it in, let's figure it out, right, let's all be adults in this way.
Aren't we seeing a trend as well with people using their mental health as reasons to not I don't know, get their work done. I I it's it is.
It has kind of become a just a tagline blanket that says. I think of it like it as an invisibility cloak, like no one can touch me if I say if I say mental health, Yeah, if I play the mental health card, and this is so dangerous in my mind, because mental health is really serious. It is really serious, and that is different than this project is a cluster we are behind and it's not working well.
That cause you stress, yes, but that does not give you a hall pass to play the mental health card and walk away and someone else has to clean up your mass. That is not how it goes, right, It's not how it goes Now. If there are things in the organization that continue to personally challenge you that's creating stress, then that's a mental health issue. But if the work is just too hard, that's a whole different thing. Right, Those are two different categories. Right.
See, I thought the weekends were our time for mental health breaks. I didn't realize that it was the middle of the day.
Yeah, I can't come until ten today. Actually, did you see the article Jody Foster had this? She had some articles. She's like, I don't understand these people are like, no, I can't come until ten thirty. She's like, I don't understand, right, Like, how's that helpful? Right? We have call it six? Like we six? I am, we are on site? Why ten thirty? That's gonna work?
Like you imagine how often I've been to work on that movie Niad with she I mean, come on, come on, y'all watch that. Watch that movie Niad. I think it's on Netflix now. I don't know, n y Ad. It's about the woman who swam from to Florida and she was amazing. You know, Sorry, I have feelings, but it was about the article because I think I read something similar to that as well, So there you know again.
I think it gets back to you know, when you work for a company, there's there's an agreement, like just to start fundamental, there's an agreement you do certain work ideally well for money. That's the agreement.
That's the contract, that is literally an employment contract, payment.
And exactly right. And I think and where the world is. I think that's been kind of lost in certain aspects. Not everybody, not everything, but it seems like it's more of a pattern than like.
People have made corporations they're parent right, Yes, you need to take care of me you're not meeting my right.
Right and now there's just certain needs that corporations need to be responsible for. But on an individual basis, to use, you know, an out like that, I think is just it's appalling to me personally. But I'm a I have verged on workaholic in my life, so I'm probably not the best person to actually comment, even though I just did. But I think I love to work, so that's also part of my problem.
I love, I completely understand, and I think it's really important for people to be able to celebrate, right, I mean literally, our takeline is our school is hard. It is hard, and it's that's how we grow. So to understand it's part of the privilege of being here with a body and running into these things that are challenging and celebrating the person on the other end of that challenge.
Who's allowing you to grow? How allowing you to feel that tension and find your strength and resilience and grow, you know, like the Grinch, grow your heart like ten times bigger, and do it with love. That is ultimately all my challenge. How can I do this with love? Yes? Could I crush them, absolutely? But how can I do it?
With love, right, or people can crush you, which I have to tell you. When I had my first job in advertising was actually kind of a nightmare. And they were very strong, actually women, and they were tough, and I had no idea what to expect. I'm like, twenty whatever the hell do I know?
You know?
And I mean, I was too concerned of building my schedule in college around reruns of Livert and Shirley, and then I go into this very corporate kind of life and and that's all true. But I'm telling you the things they pointed out and how hard they were on me, I was so grateful because, you know what, those mistakes that I made at that time, and this is thirty plus years ago, I have not made them since.
That's exactly right, right, And that's.
I have not made them since I took it as a challenge.
That's the growth that comes out of the tension. You're like, I got this, I got this. I will never make that many.
If they would have babed me, or if I would have said I have mental health and mental health break for one as they would have laughed me out of the building. But for real, they would have.
Would have it. If you did it twice, they'd replace you right.
In a skinny minute, but it was the And again, mental health is real, and I understand it is so incredibly real. It is so real, like it's more real than it's ever been real, you know. And whether it's it is a permanent situation for someone or if it is a temporary situation that they're trying to work through, it is a very real thing. So neither one of us are are dissing on it. It's just that it's being used as an excuse for people that aren't suffering from a real mental health issue.
And that's why I think it's dangerous right when when when it gets used.
But even if you feel in the course of your work that you are like like you're on yeah, if you're even if you're not even keel or you're a little teetery, preparing for that day helps so you're not like that much, right, It's like you know, breathing at work, taking you can listen, do you know many times I took bathroom breaks. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, and I'm not I'm this is honest. It got true.
I I became very familiar with the last stall on the third floor and Building eighty eight on the Fox lot, because sometimes I had a window. Sometimes I just needed I needed a time out, right like at school, I didn't leave school. I just took a time out and I needed to time out to breathe, to ground, to whatever. It's so fun. I can see myself doing this now.
Is that because I was so vivid? I did it so much because I felt I was at times I was coming on glue, high pressure environment sometimes dealing with corporate terrorists, and it's like you just need a minute. So that's okay. But blanking out, skipping, grabbing my keys and hauling ass out of there is not the answer. That's I think what your point is right, Just I gave it a lot of color. That's a good job.
That is my storytelling out. It's so good. It's so good. Yes, thank you for routing that up hopefully.
Thank you for telling us about the last doll and the third four, Building eighty eight. There were used to take a break my health.
We need to know that everybody did. But again, I think what's important is remembering we've got this eight year that's going to support your work and reputation. If you invest in it if you use it and leverage it, and how to do that personally, and how to work within the system you have at work. And you can also begin to find mentors or leaders who can work on the system if something's not working about the system, right, So you can work in the system and on the system.
So those those are two different things.
Prep prep prep prep, prep prep prep. I will tell y'all and those who read my book know the story of Jacob take the wheel. When I knew that something was coming and I was prepared, That's the reason I'm not dead. Yeah, be prepared, like preparing yourself every day. It is worth it. You will be calmer as a result.
You'll be able to handle whatever comes at you. For real, Like I think that is that's the number eight, right, Like that's being and you and you'll soar s O A R not s O R E because sometimes I was there. You're sore, You're just sore. So why not? Why why why stumble when you can soar.
Prepared to soar? People? Remember our school.
Is hard without the number eight and the other side.
Thanks everybody, ye, thank you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and our executive producer, Maya Cole Howard, who guides us well we guide you.
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