Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side.
Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything on the other side.
Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world, life is going to be more fun and much more serene.
Uh heck, yes it can. Because let's be honest, br in, earth school is hard.
In fact, you taught me that let's crush Earth School together.
Well, hello, the Witchy of Pooh. How are you that is so bad? I mean, is this a great emoji?
I'm just used to it. I think of it surely as affection, not as actuality.
Affection only affection.
How are you doing good? I'm good my house, Ye just rock and roll. How about you? What are you up to?
Well, well, I'll tell you. This morning I went to ET for my ankle, so I'm like, do physical therapy on my ankle that I screwed up myself. And it's like at all I've done for the last week since I went to see the foot doctor. Lady is complain about because this, I think is my first marker about age, Like this is my first physical marker about age. And I'm like, man, get all this fucking sucks because before
something might hurt and then it would like repair. You know, it's like this didn't do that.
So yeah, you know, great compassion. Self compassion is important.
Oh they give me homework.
Oh yeah, yeah that's awesome.
That's awes anyway, already feeling better, but anyway, so that's what I'm doing on focusing on self care for my right ankle.
Nice nice, nice, nice, good good good good. So also to remember, like even when you're going to bed at night, to imagine the etheric layer, the first layer of energy that wraps around the body, right, so it's that light blue grid. You can put your hands around and rub your palms together, right, open up those palm chakras, and then wrap your hands around your ankle and fire up the etheric layer and say, heal, heal, heal you. I'm not going to be standing on you, I'm not going
to be demanding of you. Just download healing, strengthen, removing any inflammation, rebuilding tissues, blood flow, all of it, and go to bed, sweet. Yeah, it's really good. Right.
Oh well, so here's what's going to be great. I will actually do this every single night, and then I'll go in the physical therapy and say, y'all need to refund my money because fix my shit by telling me what to do at night.
You still need to work the tissues, my dear.
I know, I actually do all. I'm really good when you give me homework. If you don't give me homework, I'm on my own and it's never pleasant.
This will just enhance what you're already doing.
Wait, thank you?
Yeah? Yeah, so today, Yeah, what do we got today?
We have a fabulous question from actually just and I believe it's a sheek is the way it's spelled. But jesse Cat is right. Jesse Katt had a really amazing question.
What does jesse Kat have gone on?
Such a great question? So here we go, miss jesse Kat. Of course, this is this is the best part. Hi again, Hi Darling, I'm back. Hi again. Wait till jesse Cat starts sitting high again times twelve? You know, so right? I love it. So it's high again. I have a question about the potential of interfering with someone's karma as an example, right, good question, she says. As an example, let's say you find let's say you find out you know someone is being cheated on or that someone is
wronging them in some way. There are people out there who will not say anything to them about that because they don't want to interfere or get into business that isn't theirs. My question is, would spirit prefer if we all stood for what's right and informed? That's an assumption, by the way, Uh, what's right and inform someone when they are unknowingly being wronged or would it be interfering with their karma by doing so? And here's the second
best part. Thanks for being awesome. Love love a cat, just a cat, Give you too.
Honey, right back, right back, this cat. Such a rich, rich question And really, like I think for me as I'm navigating our school, this is the foundational game at play, right?
How can I minimize the karma I'm creating? How can I offend the least amount of people by being spacious and acknowledging their individual expressions and not feel like I'm being taken advantage of or abandon my own responsibility or my own rights in an engagement like this, Is that that to me, this goes to the heart of my everyday anxiety, you know, as I'm trying to like do the you know this this phrase she has, like what's
the right thing? Well, what's right is so subjective. It's so subjective because we can never operate by full information. We can't be all knowing right. We're not of their past lives, of other engagements. They may have an agreement that says, hey, you know, you get to express however you want. You know, we look at it as cheating, but they have an agreement they don't may not want people to know, or maybe a private thing, or it could absolutely be a betrayal. I mean, we don't have
their standards. You know how that is we never know what goes on behind closed doors.
Listen, I it's funny because I have found people that even and I'm going to say no things psychically, because the question isn't actually knowing things psychically. The question is like somebody may have told you kind of thing, and you know, your rule has always been if you don't ask, I'm not gonna tell. So that's always been one of your you know, golden rules is like if you don't ask,
don't tell. But I actually, you know, it's funny. What I found though, where I was getting is that I have I have noticed people who like to tell other people's stuff or tell them stuff that they hear about them.
They think, whatever it may be, that there's something going on with them, like if there's right, like it's I've noticed certain types of people where uh, they have to be know it alls, you know, like there's they're proving that they know something with no thought of the damage that they're inflicting.
In many communities, right, it could be family, could be social, community, or organized around some event or organization or whatever. Information is status, it's power, and so the more I know, the more the higher I am in the in the status of the community. And so that's you know, back in the day, that status would have been the neighbor, I'm bewitched. What was it, Gladys Gladys Kravitz? Is that right? Something like that?
Okay, close enough, let's go with it.
Okay, is that am I switching shows?
Maybe? But you keep talking and I'm okay, okay, yeah, this is I'm out of my land, y'all.
But so, especially when things are held in confidence and then people say, well you know, it's not quite that way. So they may not have a full betrayal, but they will, you know, nod to like I'm in the note. That will elevate them. And you know, I feel like that does create some karma because you're actually doing damage to someone. Usually this is done behind someone else's back, and so that that does create karma is my personal interpretation of that. What do you think?
Well, I think it was Gladys Kravitz. Oh, I got it, and it was bewitched, and and I have to tell you what's so funny is that Suzanne will always reference so and so is Gladys Kravitz. It's hilarious. I didn't know it's bewitched. And they even showed a picture I have to show you just so.
You Yeah, she's looking out the window.
Yeah, exactly right.
I don't know a lot about the media, but bewitched.
Totally no. So you know what I think my big good idea I think we should take I just looked at the time. It's take a quick break and let's come back and pick this up, because I think this is a really interesting kind of.
Direction and welcome back.
Oh my god, that was so funny. You so give us just the poof. The poof is fantastic. Okay, So where were we?
We were talking about status and how when our ego is involved and we sometimes forget that we've pledged confidence to someone and you know, we're going for status.
Yeah, you know, I I think I faced a lot of this in the in the corporate world, you know, because everybody's looking for status, right, it's.
A constant feeding frenzy.
No, it's it is, it's it's constant. And yeah, you know, I I saw a lot of people like I was so funny that this topic kind of comes up because there was a woman that I worked with and she was kind of known to be the one to just like repeat things off a page, like numbers or something like that, and did not have the ability to actually discern what the hell was going on in the room, you know, but like felt like she needed to be heard, and what she used as her tool was just this
piece of paper that had there were numbers, but you know.
Numbers, there was no content, context, no.
Context, and they're not absolute, you know, they're all based on lots of different things. It's not like it's not always the only truth. Right.
Well, Well, I worked in finance. Right, So I know that's tucking, but right, can you can cut the numbers any way you want?
Correct?
Right, So the numbers are real for how you cut them. But you can cut them this way, you can cut them in that way. You can slice it that way.
Right, and you can use them as a weapon when there actually weren't intended to be a weapon like so that so and she was somebody who was looking to to level up her status, right, And I think karmically, I can I really can't reveal who this is. But I'm telling us you paying for it now because well, because she didn't, she didn't actually bother to learn the difference to discern from just you know, circulating the air around your head versus actually contributing something that was valuable.
So we go back to the question about contributing something valuable. If someone thinks something or heard something, you know, that's not valuable information, you know, because if somebody's who's doing you wrong? I think it's there was a really great question. It's like, good lord, how many movies or TV shows have we had about somebody done wrong? Whatever the wrong may be. But there's all these wrongs And also how many times has that accusation been wrong? Right?
Well, and that's and that's the thing, like I'm thinking about Jessica's question, and I think, you know, oftentimes we have our inner circle where we're where we would have literally had the conversation that says, you know, for me, it'd be like, girlfriend, if you ever get a line of sight on something I'm doing where I'm not seeing what's going on, or I'm crossing a line that I shouldn't or I'm getting close to a line that I don't see, like you have carte blanche, let me know,
send up a flare like have and like you have to have my back. And and that's you know, that's one thing because if someone comes to you from outside you in your circle and says, so, how are things at home?
Oh my god?
Right here right like bad bad karmount, Like that's I mean, it's not done out of grace, It's not it's not done out of caring for the person. It's literally like I've got the status now.
Right, Yes, I'm in charge.
I have information yeah right, and I can lord it over you, you know, And it's you know, that's so I think how things are delivered is as important as what's delivered to agree.
And you know, one of the things that you've talked about for so long that I practice and I and I try to teach others is this very magical thing called permission. Yeah, And so I think that in this in these in this kind of general life scenario scenario
that could be a bazillion different scenarios. The supplural of scenario is just so anyways, wondering keeping score that that if there is something that is that you think with somebody that you care about, because I think that's the other thing that if you're gonna if there's some somebody that you deeply care about and you have a suspicion or what you may call a fact, you know, I think you have to ask them because I'm going to
tell you I've asked people things. It's like, do you want me to say this or call them in a way, and I've gotten no. M Yeah.
But this is the thing. What's so beautiful about asking the question is you're literally putting other people in charge of their situation. When you show up with information and you know, without permission, that's that can feel like being victimized all over again.
Exactly right, so I think there's ways to go about it, right. I think one way is, you know, you kind of have to have a checklist, And on that checklist is do I actually deeply care about this person that I have this information about. If the answer is yes, then you go to question two. If the answer is no, move on with your life.
You're out. Yeah, you know, move on yeah, right, And that's that's why it's literally not my business. Correct, this is not a normal conversation this person and I would have. I shouldn't have access to this information, right, right.
And even when you ask yourself that question, ask it a couple times just to make sure your answer is the same, because there are people who like to feel important and they might actually think that, oh I do love this person, that person doesn't give two fucking shits
about you. It's like, so it's you grandizing yourself, right, Like there's a lot of that self grandizing that people will do to other people in their community with status, Like this is not forget any of this is just the flat ass truth, flat as no, flat out it's it can't help it saying ask whenever I can.
So this is this is human nature, right. Status is important it's how we, you know, survive and thrive. That's what our ego would have us believe.
So then you go number two. Number two is you make the decision this is somebody I deeply care about and I want to share information, and then you actually ask permission. It's like, I think I have something that you might want to know. But if you don't, it's super cool, you know, like you give people an out right, it's an invitation, but it's also you don't have to show up for the ball.
And I also think it's important to say, look, I have information that not It doesn't matter how I came by it, but if it's not information you want it will it will stay with me? Like that's that's an important.
Piece confidence exactly right. Yeah, and to let them know. And number three is I say yes, and then you're like, listen, I either saw this, I heard this, whatever, whatever evidence that you can put there and say take it for what it is. It may or may not be true, but it's but it's it felt important for you to have it if you wanted it, and then now you have it and you can do with it whatever you
see fit. You can confront you cannot you can do whatever you choose, but like, that's a healthy relationship, not looking for status, that is based in love and respect and all of those things. And I got an interesting story for you. I think you make come back. Yeah, okay, all right.
And welcome back. So help you you have aye a while. You have a story for us about keeping confidence or confronting.
I do, and and I'm sure you probably have the same story. And everybody that's listening has the same story. And it is at one of the people I love dearly in this world. So that checks off that box, right, So I kind of want to tell the story and go through these steps and check the box. And she's a very close friend of mine in Los Angeles and she met this woman that she started dating who I met, Uh, wasn't a fan of. Didn't say anything, right.
It's not my business.
It's like, if this is who she's into, attracted to, loves whatever, it may be, rock on, right.
Yeah.
So about six months into it relationship, she says to me, she goes, so, what do you think about what's her fake name that we were using, Sally?
Sally?
What do you think about Sally? Step number two? I'm like, well, of course, I have a point of view and thoughts, but do you want to hear them? Because if you don't, that's okay. Yeah, and she paused, She looked at me, and she goes, okay, tell me, I said, well, and I went on my not very complimentary list of what I actually thought. But it was out of love, right, Okay. So she ends up marrying this person, yeah, this Sally
as kid. Oh, then if he gets a divorce, calls me and says, you were right, And I said, I don't want to be right, honey, I actually in this scenario, I wanted to be wrong. She's been no, like full on everything you said. And I go, yeah, I said, but it's not what any of this is about. What this is about. If this is what you had to do to get your little girl, then it was all worth it. It didn't matter what I said. I said.
In fact, I'm glad you didn't listen to me, because you wouldn't actually be in the position of motherhood and you wouldn't be a parent, right, And so it's that whole story is fully, wholeheartedly a place of love, right, nothing outside I don't want like you.
So you didn't go back with I told you so yeah.
Oh not in a million years. I was devastated. I really was. I'm like, I am just so sorry. Yeah, but I'm yet so happy because of what you ended up like where you ended up in. This kid, by the way, is magnificent because she is a car and ask copy of our mom, and we need more of
those in the world. So I don't want to be right, and I think that's also part of it is step somewhere between two and three is whatever information you think you have, and especially if it's going to hurt somebody that you love, that don't want to be right, it's okay to be wrong. And I think that's a really important piece of this whole thing, is that this isn't
about right or wrong. And really what I believe that spirit wants us from us is whatever move that we make, whatever steps we take, it's out of love.
I think, yes, I agree with all that, and that's that's a great story about this navigating this kind of situation. I think the difference in listening to Jack to jesse Kat's question is that it's one thing to say what do you think, because it's she was literally asking for you for your thoughts, not you someone coming with outside information beyond you that says true, Hey, you know this person, you know you should know this is going on. Yeah, that's that's a difficult.
But even with that, if you decide to share it, you do it out of love. You don't do it out of being right, or you don't do it out because again I think it's that.
Yeah, well, and again what's right? We don't know? It takes you have to take in a much bigger picture and know be aware of your own bias and know that people live in very differently. Right now, I'm teaching my turo one class right online, and this is something that we're talking about a lot, because when someone comes to you for reading, they come and their field is wide open, their sole information is available, and all kinds of information comes through the spread, and you have to
be checking your bias. So this whole concept of right and wrong how I navigate our school is completely irrelevant in that conversation. And to try and get students to wrap their brains around that is interesting and challenging and very frustrating for them, even to the level of someone's like, you know, you didn't even ask them what their question was.
I'm like the question is irrelevant, you know, because whatever question they're asking, there's a whole bigger force at play that says, this is what we need to convey to this person and to be spacious with that. And it doesn't mean that the client doesn't get to ask their question and then you can, you know, look for the answer in that way. But there's a whole there's this. Of course, I've want clients to have answers to the question, but in that moment, there's a bigger game at play.
So I have to give what I get and it may not be frustrating, or I may they may be frustrated with me, but you know, it's about service. So like that's this element is will this information serve the person? Is not for me to decide. That's why you have to ask them, what do you want exactly?
That's exactly You're exactly right, And that's the same thing that I've experienced. I'm sure you have too, where the question doesn't matter because yeah, anytime readings what people want to know versus what they end up with are radically different.
Because usually it's a very small question they come with, not always, but and it's not small small sometimes it's like, you know, should I take this job? Well, you can, but you're missing this whole other thing.
You're missing your soul journey.
But okay, yeah I get that job as nice and shiny and sparkly, so yeah, take the job. Not take the job, but you still have to do this other thing.
So I have another quick method just to share is that with information I think I've shared before that I have like this kind of mental pendulum in my head. So if I don't have one handy, I'll actually ask and I can feel it like twirl around in my brain, you know, like so if it goes if it goes clockwise, it's a yes. If it's a no, it goes counterclockwise. And sometimes I will actually in a lot of different situations.
Usually it's because I shoot my mouth off too much, so I kind of have to find ways to kind of calm that kitty cat down. Since you're talking about Jess, Yeah, I had to calm that kittie dad shut the hell up. Sometimes but sometimes I'll ask like should I share this information?
And I get yes as I get no's, And that might be a way another way for people just to be like, you know, do I need to do this because you might get to know and that could be that spirit saying no, no, no, no, yeah, this is not yours.
It's not the right time, yeah yeah, or it's just not the right time. And a good way to do that is sometimes closing your like I close my eyes a lot when I talk, but asking spirit to show me like just a simple simple red light, green light? Is this time? Is this Because in the coaching world, we you know, have guidance that say it's the right conversation at the wrong time. Is the wrong conversation totally? So is this the right conversation at the right time?
And then you just close your eyes just for a breath or two, and you may get an image, or you may get a feel for a green light or a red light. Just keep it really simple, because we in our minds, we don't know what's right for them. We don't have the full picture. So the right or wrong conversation is off the table. It's just off the table. Will this serve them is more helpful question?
I think, I think that is exactly the right question. And I have gotten a lot of no's when I've done that, and I didn't, like, you know, I have to I don't need to do this. It isn't mine.
And what's not obvious what to me is obvious. But we haven't talked about if you bring up something that is the wrong conversation at the wrong time, that's something that doesn't serve them, they will resent you. And so now you have karma with them.
You don't want that, right, you already have enough. Well that's what I always look at us like, I got plenty.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's my goal, definitely. But such a great question, such a thoughtful question. And and you know when that many of our sensitive listeners I would imagine are contending with on the regular.
Yeah, yeah, And I'm just going to say one thing about my friend's story. They just want to be real clear. Yeah that one of the things that I had said is that she's a bit of a gold digger, because that's the message that I got, and that message was right. So it was rough. It was like you asked, are you sure? Yeah, And I've actually this hard come up multiple times with different people. Interestingly, I haven't said it every time YE might come up.
Yeah, yeah, And follow following your guidance in these situations is essential.
But I got the yes, so Jesse Yeah, anyway, jess Kat, you the best kitty I know.
Yeah, you are just on it. Just Kat, very thoughtful navigating our school with compassion, and you know, very very wise in your questions. Good luck let us know how yeah.
And really hope that. I mean, we've given everybody I don't know, minimum three, maximum eight kind of things to process through when they're faced with something like this, So pick and choose what works, and please let us know. I want to know if other people can make like the red light green light like you do. I also like to close my eyes a lot when I talk. I see better. And yeah, and or you use the little pendulum acxium in your head or whatever you come
up with. Really want to hear what it is because I think that it's a really it's it's fairly accurate. It's been really accurate for me.
Right, So with that, thanks for listening everybody, and remember our school is hard.
Without the other side. And Jesse Kat, thanks everybody.
Thank you for joining us. Everyone, and a special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and our executive producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides, well, we guide you.
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