Welcome to Inklings. I am Emily Bell Freeman, and I'm so excited to welcome you to a space where you and I get to experience a hint of something more together. This is a community where we lean into discussions that will help us obtain a bedrock understanding of the doctrines of Christ. Not overnight, but every day better. Strength gathered over time. There is a place for you here. Looking forward to spending this semester with you as we embark on a journey focused on becoming his.
Good morning. Hello, Inklings family. Good morning, everyone. Happy Thursday. Welcome to Inklings. You get me this morning. I'm so excited. I mean, it was kind of a surprise. This one wasn't planned. So when Emily texted me, I got so excited to be with you guys again on Thursday morning. One of my favorite places to be.
okay we're so excited i am so excited i have not been able or i haven't had the opportunity to have a conversation with this guest before and i'm so excited to bring her on so i'll watch for her how is everyone doing this morning Oh, you guys are so kind. I've missed you guys. And I'm so excited that it's the talk that it is because this is one of my favorites. No accidents. I told Emily I haven't been able to tune in to some of the last week.
i hope i don't repeat myself i said is there anything i need to be like housekeeping wise and she said we've just been cruising business as usual in the best way so i need to do some catch up myself everyone Okay, awesome. Okay, while we're waiting then, today's talk is Sister Yee, which we love. We love her so much. This was such a beautiful talk. It felt very poetic.
in a very simple way i feel like some talks feel poetic and they're like really beautiful words and language and it was something about the simplicity of her message for such a you know this is a really big daunting sometimes heavy topic and The simplicity and tenderness of which she shared it, I just adored. So I loved it so much for that reason. It is titled The Joy of Our Redemption.
So we can turn there. I don't unfortunately have my wide margin right in front of me. Oh, perfect. I see Brooke joined. So I won't be able to reference the to let you guys know where I am. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. How are you, Brooke? Good. So excited to be here with you, Rio. I know you too. I was telling him I haven't gotten the chance to chat with you. So this is so fun for me. I love this.
thank you well welcome um have you been on inklings before i should know this but yes i think just once though with emily yeah Perfect. Okay. Just say hello, who you are, just real quick. The ladies always love in case we have some new friends here. Awesome. I'm Brooke. I'm Romney and I'm a writer. I've written I Like Me Anyway and 52 Modern Manners for Teens and Kids and just love being able to share thoughts about the gospel.
Perfect. A champion in the world of parenting for sure. And it's, it's like your content is so, so good. So I'm really excited for your perspective.
on this talk so i told them where we are we're in the we're in sister yeast talk the joy of our redemption and i was telling him i just feel like there is such a beautiful simplicity to the way she delivered this i kind of love it it didn't have like the fancy flourishing language it was really simple and like easy to internalized i don't i loved her talk did you have any initial thoughts before we just kind of dive in yeah i just i love the way that she makes
repentance just seemed like an everyday act that we all have to do and just accepting the will of the lord in our life and and understanding that perfect right now is not it's not the plan And it never was. And I, I'm surprised how much I need that reminder. Like you would think I could solidify that into my being that that's not the goal. It never was the goal to do on our own, that there was this beautiful process put in place.
for us to eventually reach that but it was never something that he just kind of said good luck to like it just there's this whole beautiful process and plan um and i loved so much her line kind of even before she gets into some of the teaching but when she's talking about her painting I love where she said I decided to move forward and trust that the Lord would help me but I had to keep moving
and leave the possibilities to him. And I love... that she said possibilities i think so often this phrase we kind of hear like oh we keep moving we do our best and we leave the rest to him or we kind of leave like we talk about kind of the gap that he fills hearing the word possibilities in this i it opened up kind of a new perspective for me of like we may not there's things we can't even comprehend what might
be possible from a situation like this painting for her she didn't she had no idea she was just hoping she could maybe repair it in some way let alone it become more beautiful than she ever intended it to be so when she says leave the possibilities to him I love the hope in that message that it's like, even things you might not even think possible or can comprehend, whether it's immediate or years, a lifetime down the road.
There might be a full circle circle moment that you never realized was even possible. And I love turning that over to him, not just like. help me like our minds just kind of go one step ahead like help me just like fix this little thing or help me just repair it to what it was but like give like it's like an honor to his incredible power to repair to something that is even greater does that make sense like it's just like well yeah yeah i love and and
When she says this she didn't even know that it was gonna be a mistake She didn't even know that she was gonna mess up. I just I was so inspired by her willingness to say How would I do this? Where would I begin? And how would I find the time? And I think there's so many women who are asking those same questions. Like God has a plan for me and he has things he wants me to do.
I don't know how to do it and I don't have the time. And what I love about Sister Yi is she just said, but I'm going to move forward without knowing. how it's going to go or how I'm going to find the time and leave the possibilities to him. She actually didn't say, Hey, Heavenly Father, this is my plan. This is what I want to do. And I would love your help along the way.
She was inspired by him to do something. She didn't know how to do it and she didn't know how it was going to turn out. And she was like, I'm open. Yes. Whatever you want to give me, I'm open and I will put in the work. And right after that, she said the process wasn't easy.
It didn't look like I hoped it would. And I think a lot of times we start on a path and we think we're inspired and we... and it's not very fun yeah and it's not going well and we think oh maybe this isn't for me maybe this isn't what i was supposed to do um but i love that she said i just had to try again and again
Honestly, with everything in our life, I feel like that's what it is. We just have to try again and again. That's what we do. And that's the plan. The plan wasn't... a b c d e f g and then you have the perfect masterpiece it was like okay a and you're still on a and that's kind of disappointing but we're just gonna try again that is so true i love that you said that that She involved him from the very beginning. And I think it made it that much easier.
easier or natural for her to involve him when a mistake was made too like she probably didn't think twice like he's been through been with me through this entire process naturally she's gonna also go to him when like oh hold on bump in the road look what just happened um whereas i think sometimes and i am so guilty of this is i kind of get cruising
and kind of forget to bring him along on some things and then something goes wrong and i almost feel like oh like i i haven't really invited you to be a part of this i kind of feel almost ashamed or embarrassed to be like well i messed up so now i actually want you here of course he wants us to reach out to him at any point right but i think he's like hey
I could be with you this entire time. Like, let me be a part of your whole story, not just in the chapters that get tricky. Like I want to know the whole of you and I can be there through your whole journey. So I think that's a testament to the relationship she has.
with her saviors like from the very beginning like you said in the unknown and then when a mistake was made of course she goes to him and of course she credits him too like she she is aware and very much acknowledges that this was his doing to create this into something that was even more beautiful i love that and i love the idea that she didn't feel qualified to do what she was asked to do and i think so many of us
Get in that spot where we just don't feel qualified whether it's a calling or whether it's to help a certain person Or maybe it's a new work project or maybe it's parenting your kids you just think I am not qualified for this. And I have thought that so many times recently and he doesn't ask us to be qualified. He just asked us to be willing. Yes. And I think that that's what I love so much about partnering with our savior.
is we don't have to be experts in anything because he's the expert in all things and when we involve him he helps us create that masterpiece and sometimes it doesn't look like we hoped it would and sometimes there's inspired strokes and ideas
But at the end, we create something that we're really, really proud of. And so is he. Yes. Something that just came to mind. This was a quality of my dad's that my husband was actually the one to point out early in our marriage. And I hadn't recognized it as this really. neat quality i just was something he always kind of did and he was always the type when someone asked for a favor or asked for help or needed something he would say yes so fast
without figuring out the how, which in some circumstances that doesn't always work. But I took it as like he was so quick and willing to help that he was like, oh, I'll figure out a way. But yes, like his answer was always, I'll be there. You know, what do you need? um and i admired that and i think my husband pointed out because he recognized himself he was like i think so let me go back and figure out if i have the time or if i need to move this thing around or if i have what i need
you know and though and again there's no right or wrong but i there was something about that concept of being so willing to just say yes and i'll figure out the how as i go or later because it's a it was a righteous desire like it was a desire to help it was a desire to support or to serve and
Something about that almost turning it and having it be how we approach the Savior when we are asked to do something that feels intimidating or like we aren't qualified for, that quickness to be like, of course. And then being okay with it, there might be some hesitation and that's okay. Or there might be some like, ooh, feeling underqualified, but knowing that he knows that those feelings are going to show up. He knows that you aren't.
perfect for the job no one is but he called you because he knew the growth that would occur when you accepted the calling or the errand of angels whatever it might be and that's what's so beautiful and so i try to remind myself of like say yes first accept or like act on the nudge first and and figure out the how later let that process work in you let him be a part of it And sometimes that's the most rewarding kind when things kind of unfold in real time. Yes. And then it's in reflection.
that you're like, oh my goodness, I see it now. And had you kind of stumbled at the beginning and like, oh, maybe like there might not have been that beautiful trust and kind of leap into. the darkness of you're like, I don't know. But anyway, I, I, something I want to kind of bring into my own life is just accepting it and, and letting him be a part of that process. Absolutely. I love that.
Okay, I loved, well, actually, okay, one more thing before I move on, because I loved your thought of when you were saying like point A. Okay, we're still at point A. Okay, we're still there. I wonder how often we pivot. too early because something is hard because it feels like we might be going against the grain of something or it just doesn't feel natural to us or we feel like well someone else's strength would be a lot better suited here than mine and so we pivot
And I wonder how often I do that. And the Savior's like, wait, no, I just needed you to like push through these couple things. And like that's that weakness of yours could become a strength. But how often do we kind of.
stay in what's comfortable and we pivot to something easier because we're just like oh i don't know if i'm quite ready for that um and again that's where a really intimate relationship with our savior is so important because there are times when pivoting is crucial right and i feel like
if that relationship is there, he will communicate that to you, that it is time for a change, for a shift, for a turn to a new direction. But other times, I wonder if he's like, wait, no, don't change direction. This is just something that you need to push through.
perhaps again and again and again because there's growth within every layer of that pushing of that stretching um she says that somewhere where it was the refining um oh it's towards the end everyone sorry we're gonna jump But it's this idea of repetition and how often we have to learn these things.
through repetition. And she quoted Elder D. Todd Christofferson when he said, real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving. And I love that. might and this is a little more in context of like when we feel like we should have figured something out and we shouldn't be in this place again.
He's like, don't beat yourself up. That is just wasted time for you to feel like you should have not been here again. He gave us those weaknesses. I always define weakness as these cracks. that let the light in, and they're like traces of him that are threads, I guess. What have I said? It's like threads. Anyway, but it's just...
Without them, we wouldn't have reason to reach out to him and be like, I am falling short. Kind of like this gap we talked about. There wouldn't be that reason. We would be pretty good on our own if we just arrived perfect and ready to go. this repeated attempt and this refining and striving is part of it. And that's why we were sent here imperfectly, like with bodies that have phallus, like that's, that is the whole.
purpose and process is to use those to lean on him and our advocate for sure. Absolutely. um i love that i love um one of the commenters said i love that she called her mom like in that moment of despair yes and you wonder like how am i ever gonna get this back i love that she called her mom and i know not everyone here has a mom that maybe they can call. But that you have someone in your life. And I love what her mom said. She said, you won't get back what you had.
but do the very best you can with what you've got. And I love that for a few reasons. If you are a mom or if you are someone who someone might call, I thought she was so wise to not. brush over how big something was. That was a big deal. And she's not just gonna say, oh, it's fine. Just go ahead and paint it again. You know, whatever. But she just said, you won't get back what you had.
And sometimes we need to know that somebody understands the reality of the hard or the mistake or the mess that we've created. But she then said, but do the very best you can with what you've got. And I loved her advice because I wonder how many of us sit in a spot where we just keep looking at the past and we just keep thinking, I just want it to be back to that. I just... I want to be back when
My kids were little and they used to obey me. I wish it was back to when my marriage was this way. I wish it was back when I lived in this neighborhood or I wish it was back when it wasn't so hard to deal with my body or my sickness.
or my illness. I feel like there is so many times where we might feel like that. And her wisdom in saying, do the very best you can with what you've got. And I think that's... all we can do right now we can't change the past we sometimes we can change our circumstance but sometimes it's just the circumstance we're in and i just thought it was such good advice for all of us for whatever we're in right now
Yeah. And none of us have a rewind or pause button. Like that's not how our existence here works. So I, as you were saying that I was kind of thinking like, I don't think there's. Anything in life good or bad positive negative anything that actually truly can go back to what?
something was as far as a circumstance or a way that you were a family dynamic like because time keeps moving people keep growing things keep changing and accepting that might be one of the hardest like little pieces of your journey right and I think like you said I'm sure she sat in that moment with her daughter for a minute you know that kind of accepting that she won't get back what she had and sometimes people need a lot of time in that space and i've noticed that with my own kids
Some of my kids need longer in that place than others. Some are able to move forward a lot quicker than others. And some of mine really need time to sit in that and just kind of mourn the loss of something that what. of what was. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it's just really good to know about yourself or the loved one you're trying to help that if you need time to mourn the loss of something.
do that and I think the Savior will sit with you in that as well because he knows that once that maybe is felt then the opportunity to move forward is opened up a little bit more for you but he understands especially Even in those things that you feel silly for mourning over that you're like, this is probably a small thing in comparison to what my neighbor is going through, my sister is going through. But in those moments, I don't think we need to.
worry about that comparison I think we just he knows what is he knows our scale he knows what's relative to us and what is a really big deal to us and it's a big deal to him too and i think it's okay to take that minute and be like that's hard to let go of and then you eventually make space for what is new and what is better even which is the craziest part that sometimes we can't fathom that it could be
better it's like when he's holding the teddy bear behind his back you know and you don't want to let go of the smaller one it's the classic image of he's just like hang on i know you love it i know but we won't get that back and here's why and we and we can't love something that's new if we're so stuck on what it looked like before. One of the things that I loved is as Sister Yu wakes up the next morning and she says, it looked better than it did before.
How was that possible? What I thought was a mistake without mend was an opportunity for his merciful hand to be manifest. And sister, you could have looked at that painting and said, well, it still doesn't look as good as it used to. She could have stayed stuck in the past and what she wished would have happened instead of fully embracing what Christ can do with her painting and then also what he can do with our lives. He was not done with the painting.
and he was not done with me what joy and relief filled my heart i praise the lord for his mercy for this miracle that not only saved the painting but taught me more about his love and power to save each of us from our mistakes weaknesses and sins
and to help us become something more. And I love that she accepted the new version of her painting. And I think Sometimes for us as we you know, and we'll get into this throughout the talk, but Can we accept that new version of us and truly see how much better we are? Or do we sit and wish for something that was? I think also, can you do that with a husband who's made a mistake or children who have wandered or have done things that you hoped they wouldn't?
When they come back, can you truly see what is better, what God has created and made out of them? Or are you just sitting and wishing, I wish it never happened. I wish they were someone that they used to be. And I think as I see Sister Yee. see the beauty and the growth and what he created. I think Heavenly Father is asking us to do the same with his people, with a friend who
comes back and says they're sorry, or with a parent who says, I just, I know I didn't do that right, or I'm trying to change. Like, are we willing to be like our Savior and say, I see the beauty that has come?
from something that was pretty hard yes i i love that it's an absolute perspective thing because i i wonder if the difference between what the painting was and the new one if it like probably would have been kind of imperceptible to like anyone else's eyes for hers right she would have maybe been the only one that could really see that difference and she chose to see that difference and i think you're exactly right like i can't think there are a few gifts greater than
friends and loved ones parents and kids that can see a change happening or that can see a sincere apology for what it is that can because that that's a choice to see that it's like you said it's a choice to accept that um And I also want to say too, it can be hard when maybe you are doing so much inner work. And it may not be noticed or appreciated by others yet. And that can be a really hard place to be in too. Of like, I'm doing this work and I'm still being met with very similar interactions.
That's one of those times that you kind of trust the process and keep going and surround yourself with people that do have those eyes to see the effort and the change or the turning again that is happening. in your life and same with a parent and reversing it um with your kids like There's a line, I think it was more so for a spouse, but it was like, treat your spouse as they want to become, not as they are. And that can be a hard thing to do, but it's, it's, again, it's seeing.
long view it seemed forward because then they they rise up to that and and I more so I think I think for me it applies a lot to my kids but it's it's treating them as they want to become is that person that they know that they're capable of
But if we're holding on to something that is or that was, it's just this, it's this ceiling we're putting on ourselves or on those around us that they can't quite reach above. And that's what's so beautiful about our Savior is if we ever feel like we... are hitting that or people are kind of stifling us our savior just has this unending potential that he will pour upon you
We set him a seat at the table and this is something that I had written down earlier. It's just this idea of Actually, I think it's next and okay This is so interesting. Let me let me all actually start with this. When she starts to talk about the waste places of your soul, she quotes that scripture. And I love this. And so she quotes, he can heal the waste places of your soul, the places made dry, harsh and desolate by sin and sorrow. I.
Imagine these waste places are the kind of parts of us, everyone has them, that we're just like not super proud of. Like we kind of want to admit they're not there and we don't love inviting people to those waste. We don't want people to see them. And I think of what we are avoiding by not letting, and I'm going to talk about our savior more specifically, letting him into those places. And what's interesting is.
he knows the whole of us as our father does he knows that they're there he's just waiting for us to kind of almost like let him into them he's like i know they are but it's it's got to come from you to say like here it is i see it and i see what i want it to become and i know that's only possible with you and i i there was a visioning thing that i kind of worked through several years ago and it stuck with me
where I imagine sitting at a table and it's from the scripture in the presence of your enemies. And for some reason when I hear that, I think of like sitting at a table in the presence of my enemies, be it my weaknesses, my sins.
my mistakes that i've made and haven't quite repaired yet and you sit in the presence of that and that is not a fun place to be and that is just like that gut feeling that you're just like oh i would rather be anywhere else than right here in the presence of what i am least proud of or ashamed of that has caused me this hurt and then you imagine the savior sitting right next to you and looking
about that same lineup and in the presence of what you face and the energy that i feel i'd imagine i would feel because in a way this is what we go through when we pray right and when we invite our savior to be part of our story but i imagine kind of the energy that he is giving off and it is in no way this like oh
This is a bad one. Look at all of this, kind of all your dirty laundry. But he, I imagine, is putting your arm around you like, I see it. I see it all. And I feel what you are feeling. thank you for setting a place for me here because from this place we face them together like that
That's the whole point is this perspective of like, he's on our side of the table looking at them and we're, we are approaching our weaknesses, the things that have caused us sin and sorrow. We're approaching that together side by side. Like that is. That is his role as the advocate. And that can't happen unless we are the ones inviting him into that space. That's not something he forces on us.
Though he would love to, like the father would love, he would love to come and just fix everything and have us not experience that. But he sent his son to be in that place if we would let him in. and we approach those things together and then that's from that place and that oh and this is where she says you are not beneath the master's reach the savior descended below us all things and this is sister ye's words
and is in a divine position to lift you and claim you. And the fact that she added claim you, I think is so profound because it's not just a lift, like back on your feet. I'm going to go off to the next person. Like I am next. It's like this claim you like, and, and even lifted from this place. I know your demons are still there. I know you'll probably face them again and again. I will still claim you.
Even with this, all of this that you deal with on a day-to-day basis, I still claim you. You are still mine. I love that she added that line to lift you and claim you from the darkest place. I had so many feelings as I read at the bottom part of that section. And I talk a lot about parenting and I talk a lot about teens and young adults. My heart just went to them when it says, you may feel at times that it's not possible to be redeemed, that you're an exception to God's love.
And the Savior's atoning power because of what you're struggling with or because of what you've done. But I testify that you are not beneath the master's reach. And I don't know that many of us understand the world that. these kids are living in and when we used to have to look for sin when we used to have to choose sin sin finds them and evil finds them
And one of the things that I love about our Savior is He knows. He knows it. And I think the more often as parents we can teach our teens and our young adults and our children that He gets it. And like you said, He's not afraid of it. He's not afraid of what you've done. He's not afraid of how you feel. He's not afraid of what you struggle with. He's not afraid of the world that you're in because he has already conquered it. And I think that they...
They need to know that there is so much place for His grace and they need to know it from their parents. They need to know that their parents are not afraid either. They're not afraid of what they're going through and what they might see and what might come. They have to know that when they come to their parents and say, I'm struggling, this happened, that we don't say you're beyond redemption. We don't.
act like they're on beyond redemption and sometimes we can say the right things but then we don't act the right way or they don't feel it from us and so we need to say like I am not afraid of this and I will walk with you through. I will walk with you through it. And not because I've never been there, but because I've also been there. I know how it feels to feel redeemed because.
I didn't do things perfectly either. I wasn't perfect. I'm still not perfect. And I still need redemption. I think sometimes our kids think, well, there's this hierarchy of sin that. If I do level five, I won't be forgiven. But if my mom does level one, of course she's forgiven. It's not that big of a deal, but it's all the same. It's all the same. Our sins all need to be forgiven. They all take us away from our Savior and from God, and we have to just turn back.
I was in a sacrament meeting where a missionary who was serving in our ward, he was quiet and he was shy and he stood up and he bore the most powerful testimony. that had the whole congregation feeling such a strong spirit because he had been there. He understood what redemption looked like. And as I thought, this kid was shy and quiet. But he had so much power because he knew what redemption meant. And I thought, what lucky people.
To be able to be taught by a missionary who understands God's grace and the power of forgiveness and redemption. That is powerful. And I think we don't have to do anything big to feel that.
we just have to be willing to say i've messed up i'm imperfect and i need my savior that is so good um it makes me think you know this is side tangent but In a comical way, you know, I'm like American Idol and a cute little young country girl will come sing a song and the judges are like, I think you need to go and have your heart broken to actually sing that song.
and feel it you know like they're just like you're singing the words but like we can tell you haven't actually walked through something like that and i think that's exactly right is there's a difference when you hear those testimonies or when you're comforted by someone where you're like
like kind of this aha moment. And I think parent and child have those sometimes where the kid's like, wait, that actually sounds like you have been somewhere similar to me. Like, and like you said, sometimes that's hard for kids to wrap their head around that their parent has. been where they are. And, and I imagine it because my kids are still young, you know, my oldest is nine. So we have our work cut out for us for sure.
with the, like you're saying, with the way the world is. And I imagine it's harder and harder to connect with our kids because our world is changing so fast and we're not exactly dealing with the same temptations, but. a lot of the same feelings um are there and and i'm amazed that Our Savior and this whole plan takes it one step further of like, you're not just redeemed. It is a joyful sense of redemption. Like there's this relief and a lift and a positivity that you should feel after.
you've been forgiven or after you've had that conversation that you were so nervous about you want them to feel this lightness that the savior offers of like You don't have to keep carrying that. And even though you might pick it up again later, that's okay. We'll deal with that when it comes.
But we want them to be able to feel this joy and this lightness from the process of repentance. And like you're saying, Brooke, we have to show them that. We have to show them that like happiness and true joy. And this ability to move forward and move on with the sense of relief and gratitude is possible. I think that's something we show and less.
talk about. It's something that people can feel and that it's contagious and that only comes from that experience of coming full circle and feeling that joy of our redemption at the end, which is sometimes incredible to believe is possible.
after what our human selves can do. I mean, it's just incredible that that is possible. What I love, a couple paragraphs down, she says, to truly repent and change we must be convinced of our sins there may be times we may not be willing to look inside ourselves and see that which really needs healing and repair
One of the, I'm just going to share a little personal experience. So it's funny that I'm doing inklings today because this was just like not my best week. It's just, it was just not, I was feeling. down and envious. I was frustrated with the unfairness of things and I was not my best self and probably one of those days where I probably just should have like kept kept stayed home.
Anyway, I was out at a sporting event and I was talking to some people and I am not usually someone who's overly negative. That's not something that I generally struggle with, but I was just feeling it. And I was talking to some people and I just was harsh and negative. And I came home and I'm sure many of you have been like this where you're like, oh my word, what did I just say? Who was I? Like, this is so embarrassing. I can't believe it. And so I was just thinking about how awful I was.
And I sat there and a day passed and I just, the spirit was kind of pricking my heart to say like, this is, you were not your best self and you've got some things to work on. And none of us really loved that feeling. And I thought about it. I thought, okay, I got to get better. I got to get over this. And, you know, you get to a certain age where you like know what's right and you know how you should be thinking, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.
And I had this feeling like, you need to text those ladies and you need to apologize. And I was like, oh my gosh. Everyone knows that people sometimes have bad days. it's not that big of a deal and i kind of pushed it away and i think the spirit was asking me like hey like you need to understand that you sinned that you need to repair
And so I texted the three friends and of course they were so generous. Um, but I was amazed at what happened to the inside of me when I acknowledged my sin and when I did what I could.
to repair it it wasn't until after that that i started to feel the inside of myself change and i think that sometimes we wonder like why isn't this getting better why isn't heavenly father helping me why aren't things changing we have to be willing and like you you know you said this earlier but he's not going to come and joystick our way through life he
wants us to choose him and so i think maybe if there's something that we're struggling with acknowledge it to ourselves tell heavenly father we're sorry and then even in this talk she says do what you can to repair you might not be able to make it all right Some things are bigger than others, but do what you can to repair and you'll feel a change. That is so, so good.
I mean, just like what we were saying, hearing from you, that personal example is like, wow, yes, absolutely. That is so true. And a lot of people were commenting, it's that humility. Like that's where we get to feel that when we start to really. acknowledge and accept an action we've taken, words we have said, things we did or didn't do. It's from that place that we begin to change and transform from the inside out. That's beautiful. It's so interesting. This was my greatest hope with my dad.
perspective of we we likely have those people in our lives that we wish so bad we could force their decisions and tell them what they need to know and think but until they understand themselves that change won't happen and that's a really hard thing to accept and I remember pouring my heart out my dad had had a lot of demons in his closet
many of which he never owned or accepted. And it was so, so hard to watch, especially when I was almost like regurgitating all the things he had taught me growing up and I was just like you taught me this like you should know that this is possible for you but no matter how many times I preached that he was again
not beyond the Savior's reach, it was to a brick wall because he wasn't able to accept and own his choices and mistakes. And that is so difficult. And I, it's funny, I'm already aware of. how difficult that may be as a parent you know my kids problems are very child-sized problems which is lovely right now i'm gathering i'm told to really enjoy while they're small problems but i know that one day i
will have to take more of that passive role of just like, teach what I know, but they have to learn for themselves what that change feels like. And, and again, like you said, it's it is worth that feeling in the end after you like sending that text did not feel good I'm sure you were just like whoa like I don't want to be the one to say that um but the moment it was sent like that feeling is what I want to be able to show my kids is worth it. That's why we go through that discomfort.
because it's worth it on the other side. When we're repairing relationships and when we are reconnecting with our Savior, when we own up to these things that really... God has given us in the first place. Like he's like, I know you struggle with that. That was who I made you from the beginning. And here's why. And here's how we can even become better. But it's a process and it's not easy. Like she said in the very beginning, like it wasn't.
It wasn't meant to be easy. Nothing ever is that's worth something to be proud of in the end. I was such a good example. That last line towards the end again. Sorry again, I don't have paragraph numbers, everyone. When she said our need, it's the paragraph that starts with like my painting, but she says our need for healing and help is not a burden to him, but the very reason he came. And I love that. And I think we should remember.
that that it's the repetition for me is when I feel like a burden I'm like I'm so sorry I'm here again this is the same thing I talked to you about last week and I have to remind myself that no matter how many times it is it's still the reason he came like it's still the reason he's going to show up for you again and again well and i just had like a little experience with that where um if you've ever gone to help somebody like after they've had a baby and you clear your schedule and you know
You're so excited to be able to love someone and help someone and you get there and they're like, oh, I'm good. And and you're just you're a little let down. You're like, but but I'm here. This is why I came. Like, I cleared my schedule. Like, this is my actual purpose. And I think about that all the time when I think like, oh, I don't want to bug you again with this problem. I don't want to bug you again with this sin. And it is the literal reason he is there.
It is why he did what he did. And every time we choose not to turn to him or not to use him, he's not like, oh, phew, I'm so glad. I'm so glad. He's like. This is why I'm here. This is my role. This is what I did. And every time we don't use him, it's actually a disappointment. Because as hard as breaking that you're trying to do it on your own. And I have felt like that with people before where I think, but I came so you didn't have to do it by yourself. I know you, I know maybe you could.
But you can't do it the way that you can do it if I am here helping you. And so every time I think that I don't want to bug him, I'm like, that's just not who he is. That's not who he is. One of the quotes that I love from her talk is when she quotes C.S. Lewis and she says, Oh humankind, how cleverly you defend yourselves from all that might do you good.
Then she said, where might you and I be defending ourselves from those things that might do us good? Let us not defend ourselves from the good that God desires to bless us with, from the love and mercy he desires us to feel. And then she goes on to say, I pray that we may lay down any weapons of war. And I read that talk earlier from, I think it was from Elder Anderson about laying down our weapons of war.
And I had some thoughts about when we go into all the things that might be our weapons, right, where she says pride, selfishness, fear, hate, offense, complacency, unrighteous judgment, jealousy. anything that would keep us from loving God with all our hearts and keeping our covenants. As I read that list, and Elder Anderson has one too, I thought, I kind of wish that I could have just been back in the day where I just bury a sword. That actually sounds easier than...
burying these things. And then the thought came to me it wasn't easier because those swords represented who those people were and who they had always been. Those are the things they had learned from their parents and their grandparents. That is what defined them. That's what gave them hierarchy in their society. That's what made them feel useful and important. That's what gave them purpose was war.
And as I thought about that a lot more carefully, I thought, like, which of those things am I holding on to? Because I think that's just who I am. Or that gives me purpose. Or that connects me to other people. Is negativity something that might connect us? Or is gossip something that might connect us to other people? Or is pride something that defines kind of who we are?
cute outfit or or that car that we drive or you know whatever it is like does that make us feel like who we are and as i thought about those things i thought we're holding on to things that we think give us definition or purpose or whatever it is. And God is saying, I can do so much more good than that. Like if you will let go of that, I promise you will let go of certain things.
but you will gain so much more kind of like the painting that Sister Yee did. And it's not easy. It's not easy to bury those things. And I think sometimes the new year and resolutions remind us of that. when we still have that same thing that we're working on and i know a lot of people think that it's discouraging to do that and i think celebrate the fact that you're still willing to work on it yes celebrate the fact
that you're like, you know what? I dug it up. I dug up that weapon and I am ready to bury it again. And I don't think there's anything wrong with the fact that you're making the same goal because you still care. And maybe it's time to involve God a little bit more this year in burying that weapon.
Yes. Okay. I'm glad you brought that up because I loved that lady's comment when she said keeping them buried is still some of the hardest battle, is to not go back and be like, oh, just once more, just, you know, and this continually. letting go of something it's so true this time of year is a perfect example of that where right now really like it starts to kind of wear off this really grand motivation to be our better selves and
And it does start to wear off. That's just natural and human. And then it starts to get real of like, okay, actually, what kind of grit do I have to really see this through and to make this change? This that line that you read is honestly fascinating to me that. We are such complex creatures that we will defend ourselves of things that will actually do us good. Like, it just kind of blows my mind that we really all do that in some way.
and a phrase that comes to mind common knowledge isn't always common practice so we may know something is good for us but it's not something we're actually doing or practicing and there's just that disconnect sometimes And that's where that effort comes in. And quite honestly, that is where I feel like I try to involve the Savior. Like, hey, I know this. I could spell out this principle for you. I know exactly what I should be doing and why.
Help me to actually want to help me to know how to even. implement it like it's it's that how for me that I'm often praying for and the desire to even want to change because sometimes I don't and sometimes they're those natural man instincts in me that just love the vices or these different things that she had listed and that can also be something that's hard to admit right and just
get honest with yourself um but then hopefully not spend too much time beating yourself up for it there's a moment of that that's almost necessary that's kind of that owning it part but recognizing that like, okay, you know, this is something everyone deals with in their own way. So help me to move forward to that next step for sure. That is so.
It is so complex, which is probably why C.S. Lewis is one of the finest writers to all those complexities of the human brain. Oh, my goodness. This is so good. I just going on with having like that desire. So for my whole life, I have prayed for the desire to read my scriptures. It just wasn't something that I felt, you know.
Emily. Like I wanted to be Emily. Like I just let me be Emily. Like she talks about, even when she was little, she was just like, I couldn't put down the scriptures. And I was like, I want that desire. And so for years, um, reading my scriptures was a goal. Read my scriptures every day.
do this every day. Like, and I realized like, I just don't have the desire, which is funny because I'm a huge reader. And I think that was part of my problem was like, the scriptures aren't quite as exciting as this book I'm reading, you know? And I would read my scriptures, I would do it, but I didn't feel that desire. And so for probably the last 25 years, that has been a prayer and a goal at the new year. Please just let me have the desire to want to be in my scriptures.
Well, this last year, so that's been a prayer for 25 years. This last year we were reading the Book of Mormon and I was diligent. I was so diligent. I listened to all the podcasts. I read every single verse. I didn't skip anything. And we were getting towards the end of the book, and I was pretty good about reading every day. And please remember, this is like 25 years worth of please help, please help, let me have this desire. And over Thanksgiving, we had a lot of family in town.
I just didn't have the time to be in my scriptures every day. And so for the first time all year, I had kind of neglected that practice. And when all of our company left, I turned to my husband and I was like, hey. I know there's a lot of cleaning up to do, but I just have to go and read the Book of Mormon. I just, I've got to get back into my scriptures. And it didn't hit me in the moment, but like.
Later that night as I was praying, I was like, hey, I have it. After 25 years of asking for this, I finally want to be in my scriptures. And I think that was such an incredible realization to me that sometimes it's not in one year. Sometimes we just keep doing and we keep slogging and we keep doing the right things as much as we possibly can. And then one day we have this change of heart. And I think in our world of immediacy, we just want it right now. Okay, I'm ready to be healthy tomorrow.
Like, are we good? Like, are you ready to like make this happen tomorrow? And I just, it was the most beautiful blessing of, it's not like I ever stopped reading my scriptures, but what I wanted was a change of heart. And that's what he gave me after a long time.
oh that is so good and i think super relatable for so many of us and i think sometimes we assume that oh everyone else must just have this burning desire to go i'm married to one of those and i can say i don't have that similar thing so i'm on a very similar journey and i I'm so glad you shared what you just said with your heart. Let's end on this line because I love when she just said so shortly he, there it is.
i wish i knew what paragraph it was right in the middle starts with just as the depth of my gratitude but at the very end of that paragraph she says he has my heart and i hope to do whatever he would have me do and become and that submission and willingness and handing over is probably the essence of everything we've been talking about today is just like this fully handing over.
our heart to him and letting him do with it what he will with our very best interest and happiest like truest joyous selves in mind like that is his motivation is for us to be able to feel that joy. unlike anything else because of our redemption and redemption sometimes sounds like it's like a one-time thing but it is a it's truly like a daily redeeming i feel like that we could probably all agree on that there is sometimes a daily redeeming. It is often that we can feel that joy.
again and again and again if we but just hand over our hearts set him a place at the table beside you and involve him in this process and recognize that it's not always going to be pretty it's not going to be immediate it's going to take time and repetition and apologies like you said it takes all of those things but that joy in the end is so absolutely worth it um this was so good and thank you everyone your comments are always so
enriching too to the conversation so thank you i love reading those but but do you have anything else this was a good one thank you so good thank you and i just just my last thought was just like let us let him make us into something better than we are right now
Let us let him in. Let him in. That's so good. Oh, you guys, happy Thursday. I love that we get to take this into the rest of our week and weekend. So, so good. Thank you so much. Thank you. We'll see you guys next week. Thank you, bro. Bye-bye. Yeah. Thanks for joining me. This podcast is taken from our Thursday Inklings discussions, which happen live on Instagram at inklings.institute. If you loved being here, I'd love to invite you to go even deeper with me.
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