Why Does Public Speaking Feel So Terrifying for Introverts?

So what is an introvert exactly ? Many people think that introvert means shy , and many introverts are shy , but not all of them . Extroverts tend to be in that too . I built this course , for Introverts are people who need a lot of alone time to recharge , versus extroverts , who get their energy from being around other people .

I used to joke with my friends that I was a Victorian lady because I like to do one activity a day and then go home and rest . I have some friends who are up for going for a coffee and then a museum , and then let's just talk and let's go to a bar And , for me , pick one .

I generally would rather not be with people 24-7 , and I'm guessing you're the same way , which is why you're here And we are not unique . It's estimated that one-third to one-half of the population is made of introverts , so remember that the next time you are stressing about something . You're not special .

Many people get caught up with what bothers introverts , like anxiety , stress , especially when it comes to public performance . We get so caught up in our internal worlds that we think that we're the only ones going through something . No , you're not the only one . There are billions like you . So are we born this way ?

The nature and nurture question is very complex . There are studies that say 40 to 50% of our introversion , extroversion , is heritable , and that is different from inheritable .

Susan Cain , who wrote the book Quiet the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking , points out that 100% of my introversion might come from my genes , or none at all , or , more likely , some unfathomable combination of genes and experience . So we just don't know . And does that matter ?

Both introverts and extroverts have beautiful qualities and things they need to work on as well . So a heritable trait , in case that word is new to you .

According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy , a heritable trait is most simply an offspring's trait that resembles the parent's corresponding trait more than it resembles the same trait in a random individual and the population . So heritable traits are a mix of genetics and environment .

You might pick up shyness from your mom , genetically and or because you lived in her environment and maybe your sibling isn't shy at all . Inherited traits , on the other hand , are purely genetic . So why does it seem that if you live in a place like the United States , everyone seems to be an extrovert ? That's what we're thinking .

Well , it's because different cultures reward certain attributes and in places like the US , extroverted qualities are praised more . Though this is changing things to people like Susan Cain , who wrote the book Quiet . In her book , she refers to Carl Jung's definitions of extroversion and introversion .

Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling , said Jung . Extroverts to the external life of people and activities . Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the event swirling around them . Extroverts plunge into the events themselves . Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone , and extroverts need to recharge when they don't socialize enough .

And raise your hand , if you can relate to this one . Studies have shown that , indeed , introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read , to say that they express the real me online and to spend more time in certain kinds of online discussions .

They welcome the chance to communicate digitally The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of 200 people might blog to 2000 or 2 million without thinking twice . The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world .

I can definitely relate to this . Thousands of people have listened to me podcast , but if I met somebody in the real world and they asked me to share my work , my initial response would be no . That is like reading my diary . You might also be an ambivert , and that is somebody who has a mix of introversion and extroversion .

I can see myself sort of in this camp , but when it comes to conflict , i definitely fall into team introvert . I am naturally conflict avoidant and withdraw when it comes to conflict . Extroverts , on the other hand , move forward . They want to get it all out there . Here's from the book Quiet . Again , these findings suggest something very important .

Introverts like people they meet in friendly contexts . Extroverts prefer those they compete with . There are so many differences . We even sweat more than extroverts . They have thicker , cooler skin that's less reactive to emotions and external stimuli .

So , according to Susan quote , this is where our notion of being socially cool comes from The lower reactive you are , the cooler your skin , the cooler you are . She also says that , incidentally , sociopaths lie at the extreme end of this coolness barometer , with extremely low levels of arousal , skin conductance and anxiety .

There is some evidence that sociopaths have damaged amygdalas End quote . So congratulations , you are not a sociopath , most likely Whether you are an introvert , extrovert , somewhere in between . All human beings are social creatures . We all need friends and connection .

Introverts seek this on a smaller scale and we prefer smaller groups , one-on-one hangouts , more than being in a conversation with 10 people at once . Emotional regulation is essential to being an effective communicator . It also reduces stress , positively affects our relationships and improves our overall health .

Now , when it comes to public speaking , a lot of us feel very anxious in our body , and this has to do with the amygdala , which is the most ancient part of our brain . The amygdala keeps us alert for dangerous situations . It's what helped keep our ancient ancestors alive when animals and enemies came after them .

It's the fight-or-flight response that raises our heart rate and our cortisol levels . Our amygdala is always scanning the environment for threats , and studies show that introverts have more highly reactive amygdalas . Our bodies are more sensitive to stimulation and novelty New people , new smells , everything we're taking in with our senses .

Extroverts , on the other hand , are not as sensitive to this new information coming in . They are more comfortable with public speaking than introverts whose amygdalas are firing off warning signs to get out of there . These nervous sensations in our body are triggering thoughts of danger and feelings of vulnerability . Why are introverts so afraid of public speaking ?

In reference to the book Quiet , again , one theory based on the writings of the sociobiologist EO Wilson holds that when our ancestors lived on the savannah , being watched intently meant only one thing A wild animal was stalking us . And when we think we're about to be eaten do we stand tall and hold forth confidently ? Now we run .

Even though all human beings may be prone to mistaking audience members for predators , each of us has a different threshold for triggering the fight or flight response . That's so fascinating . It's not that extroverts never get nervous , but they're just not as affected by external triggers . They have a higher threshold for what's considered an actual threat .

So when an audience takes its seats to an extrovert not a threat , everybody walking out in protest that might be seen as a threat for an extrovert , whereas just stepping onto stage for us feels like a huge risk , and these thoughts , feelings and beliefs affect every area of our lives .

Going back to our ancient ancestors , there's a theory that we needed more fearless types who would go out and hunt and more cautious types who would hang back and protect the others . We had people moving forward and people hanging back for different reasons , and also people doing what was right in front of them to get things done .

Some more brain science for you . There is a pleasure seeking a part of the brain that's more sensitive . In extroverts . They want more Now impulsive , do it without thinking Like the amygdala . This is a part of our very old brain . The newer part of our brain , the neocortex , keeps these impulses in check . It's the more rational side of us From quiet .

Just as the amygdala of a high reactive person is more sensitive than average to novelty , so do extroverts seem to be more susceptible than introverts to the reward-seeking cravings of the old brain .

In fact , some scientists are starting to explore the idea that reward sensitivity is not only an interesting feature of extroversion , it is what makes an extrovert an extrovert .

Extroverts tend to experience more pleasure and excitement than introverts do . Extroverts seem to get an extra buzz from the pursuit and attainment of their goals .

The basis of buzz appears to be a high degree of activity in a network of structures in the brain , often called the reward system , including the orbital frontal cortex , the nucleus accumbens and the amygdala Extroverts . Energy gives them a lot of forward momentum and positive feelings of excitement . It's easier for them to just go for it .

They are more likely to make rash decisions as well . We , on the other hand , are less impulsive and we think things through before we act , but this often leads to overthinking . Put us together and we would be perfect . We actually can learn to take on traits that we desire .

There's something called free trait theory that says that we can freely choose to take on traits when it's for something that really matters to us . This is why , when we are normally quiet , we will stick up for somebody bullying a kid on the playground or hurting somebody we care about .

When you value justice and fairness , those situations propel you to be more bold and courageous . Think about what traits you want to grow in yourself . If confidence is a trait that you would like to grow in yourself , let's chat . If you're the type of person who speaks up on behalf of other people , it's time to start speaking up on your own behalf .

This is what I work on with clients . You can have as much influence as the loudest extrovert in the room , i promise and it can happen much sooner than you think . Go to sarahmichaelcom and let's talk about your communication goals .