Body Awareness: Your First Step toward Emotional Resilience

We are not willing to be with an emotion for long enough to feel its power diminish , and did you know that this usually happens in about 90 seconds ? Think about a time when you had to speak in public Maybe it was a meeting on stage at a networking event . At first it felt really scary , but as you push through , you started to feel better .

I work with my clients to help them manage their minds and their bodies so that they feel less anxious and more confident . Speaking up and being decisive And body awareness is the first step toward this emotional freedom and resilience , and that is what I want to talk to you about today .

I'll be weaving in some stoic philosophy , which is an ancient philosophy rooted in love and positive emotion . More than 2,000 years ago , the Stoics practice therapy , and this is the foundation of today's leading evidence-based treatment for anxiety cognitive behavioral therapy .

When people hear the word stoic , they often think of somebody who swallows their emotions , but stoic philosophy is about cultivating healthy emotions and managing unhealthy ones . Stoic leaders get curious about emotions like anxiety , instead of reacting against them or stuffing them down , and this awareness is what sets them free . Are you ready to learn how Let's go ?

Mark Twain supposedly said I've lived through some terrible things in my life , some of which actually happened , meaning he created a lot of his own suffering because of how he interpreted the events in his life . Mark Twain didn't actually say that , but it was attributed to him , like all of the best quotes .

So I've learned that I need to fact-check any quotes by Mark Twain , my Andalue , winston Churchill , because everything is attributed to them . So I'm fact-checking this quote that Mark Twain supposedly said and see that the concept actually goes back to Seneca and maybe even before then . So Seneca said there is nothing more wretched or foolish than premature fear .

What madness it is to anticipate one's troubles . He suffers more than is necessary . Who suffers before it is necessary , for such a soul will never be at rest . In waiting for the future , it will lose the present blessings which it might enjoy . And that's in Seneca's letter 98 . Most people think that emotions run their lives .

But in her popular TED talk , dr Lisa Feldman-Barre says that emotions are not what we think they are . They are not hardwired brain reactions that are uncontrollable . Emotions are guesses . Your brain is predicting . It's using past experience based on similar situations to try to make meaning .

So when you are confronted with a situation , your mind and body will try to make sense of it by reading your body's automatic physical response and running through your past thoughts and feelings , and this happens instantly and automatically . To give you an initial understanding of the situation , the Stoics called this initial impression Phantasia .

They believed that your emotions are a result of the value judgments that you're making about what is happening , and it seems that they were right . As Epictetus said , it's not things that upset us about our judgments about these things .

Let's say , somebody calls on you during a meeting and you're not expecting this , and you start blushing when all eyes are on you . The external event of somebody calling on you triggered an automatic bodily reaction .

The Stoics considered involuntary physiological responses like blushing to be pre-emotions which come before full emotions , or passions , as the Stoics referred to them .

These pre-passions show up in your body as internal physical sensations like butterflies in your stomach , or as visible emotional reactions like crying , and these pre-passions are out of our control , as opposed to the full-on passions that come on later , the ones that we can learn to manage .

So in the conference room , with your cheeks burning as your colleagues are staring at you , you might automatically feel panic and embarrassment and think stop lushing , stop lushing , stop lushing . And of course , this resistance makes you blush harder .

A feeling of humiliation might wash over you And if you make the value judgment that you are actually humiliated , you might spiral into pathos and think I hate speaking in meetings or people are judging me . And you've been in the situation before .

To quote Lisa again from a talk that I heard her give for coaches rising your brain is using past experience to make meaning out of what is happening inside your body in relation to the world . So your brain is attempting to make meaning out of sensations to determine what actions need to be taken next .

Scientists today call this interoception your perception of what's happening inside your body regarding physical sensations like hunger , and also emotional sensations like a shiver down your spine . But are you accurately interpreting what these sensations mean , or do you need to increase your emotional vocabulary ?

Lisa , who wrote how emotions are made , says that the words we know for emotion are like tools for our brains The more words you know , the more emotions you can make and perceive in others . So a racing heart doesn't have to be anger , it can be curiosity . Sweaty palms can be determination rather than anxiety .

So if you want to expand your emotional vocab , you can download a free app that Yale has created called the mood meter app . We are born with a certain temperament , which we can see in Enneagram archetypes , but then our environment and our experiences start shaping our history , and this starts at birth .

Dr Andrew Huberman , who is a professor of neurobiology at Stanford , says that when babies are hungry , they feel anxious and they feel agitated . They cry . They are responding to what's going on internally . Then external forces like adults come in and respond And the babies start to look into the outside world and make predictions .

They know that crying will relieve anxiety because people respond , and this continues into adulthood . We look to the outside world to make us feel better . In the neuroscience of change course I'm taking , mandy Blake says that learning happens from the inside out and from the outside in , and it's an interactive process of sensing and taking action in the world .

That's a physical thing that we do with our bodies and involves our whole neurobiology . So earlier I mentioned interoception , your sense of what's happening viscerally inside your body . Your body also makes sense of the world through exteroception , which is your way of perceiving the external world through your five senses . So taste , touch , hear , smell , see .

And proprioception , which is our sense of knowing where our body parts are in space . So , for example , people can walk , clap their hands , touch their nose because of this body awareness . This is called proprioception . So let's say that I'm walking down a really dark sidewalk and I'm by myself . I might feel on guard .

My immediate impression is based on my internal sensations , my personal history , my external senses , my sense of where I am . If I think about what's in control in this situation , i might choose to walk in the road instead of the sidewalk , because the road is lighter and I can see more of what's around me .

And I ascent to this feeling of caution because I should be alert in this situation , but I don't need to panic that I'm in grave danger . Chris Fisher , author of the traditional stoicism blog , says that how we deal with impressions is entirely up to us . We cannot control the impressions that press upon us .

However , we are in complete control of our reactions to those impressions . What we ascent to what we agree with creates our moral character and determines our psychological well-being . So what is your character ?

Do you want to be the type of person who feels humiliated and vows to never speak in a meeting again , or do you want to challenge your immediate reactions ? The Stoics would say that we absolutely need to challenge our impressions because we are often wrong .

So in that meeting room , when your heart jumps at being called on , the Stoics would encourage you to calm down and question your thoughts , to get curious and to consider what is going on . In factual language , without any drama , your cheeks are red . So what is this really ? a big deal ? Is it in your control or not ?

Instead of fighting it , accept that this is what's happening right now . Ground yourself in your seat , slow , deep , belly breaths . In the meditations , marcus Aurelia says the mind is the ruler of the soul .

It should remain unsteered by agitations of the flesh , gentle and violent ones alike , when they make their way into your thoughts through the sympathetic link between mind and body . Don't try to resist the sensation . The sensation is natural , but don't let the mind start in with judgments , calling it good or bad . I mentioned pre-passions before , that interoception .

So when somebody really takes us off , that immediate flash of anger can be felt in our body , maybe blood rushes to our face or fury starts turning in your stomach and rises up to your chest . Stoics said these involuntary sensations are totally natural . No use in trying to fight them . Then reflect , don't react .

There's a quote attributed to the Holocaust survivor , victor Frankel , that Stoics today quote all the time between stimulus and response lies a space . In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response . In our response lies our growth and our happiness .

It's unclear who actually wrote that , but the quote became popular after the author , stephen Covey , said it sounded like something Victor Frankel would say . Regardless , this is a very stoic idea and one that helped Branko survive life in a Nazi concentration camp .

We don't have to accept the thoughts that pop into our mind . We don't have to assent to them . As the stoics would say , we can question our thoughts , we should question them , and that is the space . Something happens and we pause and give ourselves space before responding . Is this true Is one question that we should often ask ourselves .

If we don't allow some space for our initial impressions , then emotions like anger , revenge and anxiety can just take off . You might have the impulse to tell off your boss or your partner or to completely withdraw from them . Instead of repressing or acting out your emotions , get curious about them .

Try observing your thoughts neutrally , as if you're just listening to words on somebody else's podcast . We're acting like scientists here Observing , experiencing , experimenting . To quote Mandy again from her book Your Body is Your Brain . As you become more aware of your sensations , you introduce the possibility of choosing your response .

Training to increase your embodied self-awareness can help you align with a sense of purpose and meaning , make a bigger contribution , experience more satisfying connections with others , find the courage and composure to face down challenges and step into more powerful and authentic leadership . A very stoic idea indeed .

Okay , now you know how emotions are made and how to listen to your body , to interpret these emotions . This body awareness is the first step to emotional resilience And this is what's going to help you become a more effective communicator . Would you like to take this work deeper ? Visit my website , sarahmichaelcom .

Book a call and let's have a conversation about how you can become more calm and confident in business and also in your personal life . Less anxiety , more influence .