5.24 // A Whimsical Q&A

Hello and welcome to Infinite Prattle , unscrupted , unedited prattle , on everything Hosted by me , stephen , listen like , share , subscribe and enjoy the show . Hello , how are you ? Thank you very much for joining me again On this last episode of Series 5 , I can't believe we've done 5 seasons , slash seasons , series , whatever you want to call them .

Yeah , 5.24 is today . 24 episodes is kind of going to be the standard that I'm aiming for going forward . I know we've varied a little bit over the years Not too far away , not too far but 24s is the new one . I'm thinking I don't know why . I don't know why I was going to go for 22 , but now I'm not so cool story bro .

Anyway , today's episode , it's the last episode of the season and I was going to do a review of some episodes and stuff which I might do in the next season , episodes and stuff which I might do .

I , in the next season , I might go back and review some of my early , early madness and and , uh , pick out some of my favorite episodes and uh , and maybe pick out some of the worst episodes and redo them . Um , who knows , I , I don't . Um , I'm gonna try and do a bit more planning in the off season .

Uh , I'm gonna try and get stuff ready for video recording . I'm actually , despite the fact that my room's in absolute state . I've actually ordered some more equipment today for set-up , lighting and my camera and stuff . So I'm trying , people , I'm trying , anyway . So I said today's going to be like a question and answer session .

So I literally just Googled questions , just literally googled questions and asked people , put my teeth back in . So , yeah , I'm just going to . I've only read a couple of the first questions . So it says it's on a website called podlycom and it says 20 questions to ask a guy . I'm a guy . So I've read the first couple and I thought , yeah , they seem alright .

So I don't know what all of them say . And if I get through them all , then I'm a guy . So I've had the first couple and I thought , yeah , they seem all right . So I don't know what all of them say . And if I get through them all , then there's questions to . There's like questions to ask your friends and question .

There's one that just says good questions to ask . So why skip to that good questions to ask , if I get through all 20 in 20 odd minutes or so ? So , yeah , so let's's jump into that . Um , yes , my name's steven , by the way , as you heard from the intro . Uh , and this is infinite pratel . So if you've not joined me before then .

Thank you , go back and listen to some other episodes , um , and yeah , we'll just jump into this , shall we ? Uh ? So 20 questions to ask a guy . So the first one is would would rather ? I think I'm interested would you ? Would you rather go bald , uh , than never cut your hair again ? Uh , that's a really easy one . No , I would not want to go bald .

I probably will go bald at some point in the future . My hair's quite long at the moment .

Um , when I say quite long , it's , it's probably about three or four inches longer than my , like past my shoulders , um , but no , I do not want to go bald , although I sense that in my future , as my dad's bald and it seems to run at my dad's side of the family , so I'm hoping the genes have come from my mum's side , because they seem to keep their hair

into their , um , twilight years , let's say , um . Next question how long have you ever gone without taking a shower ? I would say it's probably when I went to a festival once . I think it was like 2004, . 2005 , it'd be 2005 , I think .

Yeah , 2005 Download Festival , and I went for pretty much nearly a week to the Download Festival and there wasn't really good facilities . They were charging a fortune to shower and I didn't really shower probably six , maybe seven days . Um , I did wash . I wasn't a completely filthy bastard .

I did wash , uh , you know , like hand sanitizer , wash my face and hands , cleaning my teeth , and I use like fresh wipes and stuff that I took with me and and a flannel . So I had like a stand-up wash but not a proper shower , and I tell like fresh wipes and stuff that I took with me and and a flannel .

So I had like a stand-up wash but not a proper shower . And I tell you more . I'll tell you what . When I came back , was it 2005 ? Actually , it was 2006 , I think it was actually , because it was really really hot and , uh , I remember the football was on , they were showing on the tv and I went with some friends .

2005 , I went alone , um , because I have no friends , uh , so it was 2006 download , and when I got back , it was very dusty , very dry , like weak , and I thought I'd got a suntan . It turns out it was just filth , which is disgusting , isn't it ? So there you go . So probably about a week . Uh , what is your ideal weekend plan ?

You see , this is a difficult one .

It depends what what mood I'm in , because I am either like wanting to do loads and loads and loads and loads of things , or I just want to sit surrounded by my stuff , just maybe tinkering , or maybe , if I'm really really really in the doldrums , just sit and binge watch something that is familiar to me and makes me feel happy , and then I can suddenly switch

and go mad again , um . So I would say my ideal weekend plan would be probably wake up , um , have a shower , get dressed and and I'd like to think I would want to be active . So I would say , like , go somewhere , maybe have a nice little breakfast , a nice coffee , um , and then go visiting somewhere .

Maybe a bit nice little breakfast , a nice coffee , and then go visiting somewhere , maybe on a bit of a road trip . We like to go to National Trust places which are like heritage places in Britain . So maybe go to one of them , maybe see a friend take the dog out as well , if the dog can come with us .

Bring the dog and then come home and chill out and do something insular from that so a lot of outside activity . And then come home and chill out and do something like insular from that . So a lot of outside activity and then come home and do something insular like wrap up warm , watch a film or even do some tinkering writing or something .

So yeah , I can't like pretty much stay on one thing for too long . I have an attention span of a , of a magpie looking at shiny things . So yeah , so probably a bit of a mixture , a bit of going out a bit of a coffee out , maybe a cake . Um , that's what we do when we go to ireland so yeah a bit vague , I know , I'm sorry .

Uh , who is your secret celebrity crush ? Um , I don't think it's a secret , but allison hannigan . Um , I have a thing for who played willow in buffy , the vampireire Slayer ? And I think she hosts that Fool Us program with Penn and Teller , or she used to , at least , anyway , the American one . So , yeah , alison Hannigan .

Oh , she was in how I Met your Mother as well , wasn't she ? She played , I want to say Lucy , but her name isn't Lucy in that show . Oh , that's gonna annoy me . Anyway , comment in the description , if you can , if you know the answer , that penny , no , penny is the girl from big bang theory . Lily , lily got there himself . Got there , lily , there you go .

That's not even important anyway . Um , what was , uh , what's your most unhealthy habit ? My most unhealthy habit ? Uh , my most unhealthy habit ? Probably having too many cooked breakfasts , I would say , and too many coffees . Probably too many lattes and too many cooked breakfasts . Milk does not . I love a latte , but the milk does not do any good .

I love coffee in general , as I'm sure you're aware by now , and but , yeah , probably , probably , probably . I love fried things . Um , probably comes from my irish , irish heritage and english heritage as well . Um , but fried stuff tastes so good . If I , if I lived in america , I think I'd have been dead by 40 , which is only last year .

But you know , you know , I'm saying not all the year before . Technically I turned 42 years ago nearly . Oh god , what that's . That's terrible . Uh , what was the dream that you last remember ? Um , I had a really vague dream last night , so it's kind of like not worth speaking about , but the other night I had a dream that , um , I was on a train .

I work with trains , so I dream of trains frequently , annoyingly . I was on a train and I was trying to . I don't know why there was like it was . I was like on a train going through a llama farm and this is just coming back to me now uh , and there was llamas coming to the windows of the trains .

I was trying to talk to the llamas to convince them to board the train , but only if they had a ticket . And that's the only bit of the dream I remember . I know Sarah was in it as well and she was , I think , helping me or probably hindering me , I feel .

I feel like she would be saying don't get the llamas on the train , but anyway , I was trying to get llamas on a train . What does that even mean ? How long would you survive by yourself in the nature ? In the nature I think AI have written these questions In the nature , I don't know . I feel like I'd be okay . I feel like I've got some life skills .

I used to love watching like what's he called Ray Mears . Ray Mears , who's a British kind of survivalist , came around long before Bear Grylls . I'm not too keen on Bear Grylls , I know that's an unpopular , you know , kind of feeling to have . But you know , ray Mears for me is the original , very , very simple guy .

You know , simple shelters , like simple shelters , like just , you know , just to survive , and then from that basic surviving , then you can build yourself a whole encampment and it's literally his . His kind of ethos was if you've got a sharp knife , you're pretty much sorted . Um , so yeah , I think I'd survive , okay , I think .

I think I think I'd survive well over a week and I think what ? Then there's like a threshold , isn't it ? I think if you can survive to a point , you'd be okay . Water's always the thing , isn't it ? Water's the thing that kills people . Like finding stuff to eat in general isn't too bad , like you can kill animals and such thing .

But , um , heat and heat and water , I think I can make a fire . I feel like I could don't speak to my wife about making cabin fires , though in a log burner Not very good at that , I think in the wild I'd be fine , obviously . What was the last lie that you told someone ? Hmm , I don't even know .

I don't like to lie very often because I'm really bad at it and I can't keep the lie . So I probably tell white lies to the point of , um , oh , that was a funny joke or something . Or laughing along at a joke when I didn't really think it was too funny , just to make someone feel better .

Um , I don't really lie and I generally can't think of the last lie I told to someone like no , I'm not saying I don't lie . I think I think they're just little white lies and they're just harmless . I think there's a , there's a , there's a , there's a gray area , lying isn't there , and some are okay and some are like actual lies . So yeah , I don't .

I don't know . That's a terrible answer , but I don't know . What did you want to be when you were a child ? Oh , my god , what list here . So when I was really really young , I really wanted to be a zoologist , really was into nature , and part I think part me would still like that to be true .

Working with animals and studying animals and trekking the rainforest and probably surviving in the rainforest too , um , yeah , but I also want to go in the army really badly and I've done an episode on that . But , yeah , um , and I've also . I've also wanted to be an actor and and rock star and basically creator writer .

So there's quite a few different things , but I'm trying to . You know , I'm getting on the rock star bandwagon now and I've done one gig , woohoo . And yeah , I think that the whole writing thing .

I went for a hair cut yesterday the first time in a while and a beard trim and I went and took my laptop well , my iPad and to a cafe and had a , had a brew beforehand and was a cafe wanker writing part of my book . So trying to make the effort to to get that over the line , okay . Next one what kind of superpower would you wish to have ?

Um , just be Wolverine , let's face it . Just be Wolverine . Maybe have Wolverine with the ability to go invisible and fly . I think I talked about this on a previous episode . I think that's what I decided Wolverine that could fly and turn invisible . Now , the invisible thing isn't what you think .

It's not a perverted thing , it's just so that people don't talk to you Because , as sociable as I am , I can be a right grumpy bastard too , swearing a lot in this episode sorry , it does say adults , it does say adults . That's why I marked all my episodes as adults , because I can't help but swear .

And funnily enough , there was an interesting fact the other day saying that people that swear a lot in general conversation normally have a higher IQ . And people that have messy work spaces see my desk at work and the current situation I'm sat in normally have an higher IQ .

So maybe my IQ test that I did in college was actually correct and I am somewhat intelligent , or maybe I'm just a sloppy bastard , I don't know . Have you ever bought something just to impress someone ? Um , I considered buying something to impress people , and that was a car . I nearly bought a convertible car about 10 or 15 years ago .

A couple years after I passed my driving test , there was a lovely little convertible . What are they called now ? It was a Honda convertible . Is it C2 , s2000 , honda S2000 , kind of a hairdresser's car really , as we say in the UK . But I really liked it and I took it out for a spin and it was a lovely little car and it we say in the uk .

But I realized it and I took it out for a spin and it was a lovely little car and it was in mint condition . But at the time I didn't have a driveway or anywhere to keep it or garage or anything and it was a bit of a shame .

I thought I can't , I could have , I could have bought it , I had the money to buy it but , um , just didn't have anywhere to store it . Uh , I didn't actually go through that . So have I ever bought anything to just impress people in general ? No , probably not .

I think I probably buy clothes to make people laugh , like I like to buy t-shirts that would make fellow geeks go . Oh yes , I understand what that t-shirt makes Means , makes Means . I know what I mean . So maybe

that counts . I don't know what's your favourite memory from the last year . Um , what's my favorite memory ?

Um , I really , really this is gonna sound really soppy I Sarah's in hospital a few times last year and I think one of my favorite memories is , you know , when she comes home from hospital and the dog sees her and I get that warm feeling that she's home , or when I go to visit her in hospital and her face lights up and she's so happy to see me .

But , unless Sofianza would be probably the gig that we had , the practice leading up to it and actually doing the gig . It was a really cool event and Sarah wasn't there unfortunately , so we have to get another gig soon so she can come . Uh , would you date someone older than you ?

Uh , I never have dated anyone older than me and I'm now married , so I I wouldn't have the opportunity to do that . Um , so no , I , I , I would have . I , I I've hit on girls when I , when I was younger . I , when I was about 23 , 24 , I actually hit on like a 40 year old .

Uh so it didn't really bother me , um , but yeah , not anymore because I'm married . So what is your best personality trait ? Um , I don't know what class is a personality trait , but I I feel like maybe it does . I don't know , but I feel like I can just get on with people like I mean , generally , if you're in our bed , like I can't hold that back .

If I feel like you're in our bed and you're generally being in our bed , I have to tell you , um , unless it's going to be detriment to the situation you're in , then I have , I will try and find someone with the strength , but I think it's just the ability to talk to anyone all walks of life , about anything .

Really , I feel like I have that ability to put people at ease and just have people open up to me and chat to me . Yeah , would you be rich but unattractive ? Or poor but ridiculously handsome ? I suppose rich but unattractive , or poor but ridiculously handsome ? I suppose rich but unattractive because if you've minted you can have plastic surgery . Is that shallow ?

I mean , I'm not the most attractive guy . I think I'm okay , you know , probably quite average looking , I would say , with some maybe minor distinctive features . Poor but ridiculously handsome . I suppose there's two ways you can be rich but unattractive and have plastic surgery to make yourself handsome .

Or you can be poor but ridiculously handsome and make loads of money because you could be . If you're ridiculously handsome , everyone would think you're handsome , and then you could be a really , really , really famous model and get the money that way .

So I suppose there's like the quick fix of being rich but then having to fix the unattractiveness or being poor with a slow route to the money , maybe poor actually . Maybe I'd go for the poor and do it myself , earn it all myself and have to go through the pain of operations . What's your childhood favorite cartoon ?

Oh , christ , uh , I used to love thundercats . Thundercats is the one that comes to memory . Uh , thundercats and teenage mutant ninja turtles . Um , yeah , I'll go for them too . I can't really distinguish between them because they're so different . But yeah , if it was teenage mutant ninja turtles , go on , that's the one I go for . I do love the turtles .

I'm actually wearing a teenage mutant ninja turtle t-shirt right now . Um , who do you think is the best superhero ? Uh , wolverine and spider-man . I'm torn between the two . Uh , but wolverine , let's go with wolverine , not that popular choice , isn't it , isn't it ? But he's fucking cool . He heals . He's got a fucking metal skeleton .

He's got claws that come out of his hands . He's a badass . He's called the Wolverine , which are mental creatures . What would change in your life at the moment ? What would you change in your life at the moment ? What would I change in my life at the moment ? Not a lot , really , I think . What would you change in your life at the moment ?

What would I change in my life at the moment ? Not a lot really . I think I'm quite lucky . Maybe if I could click my fingers and get everything organised in this room , that might help . But yeah , I don't think anything . Everyone always says , oh , I need more money and such like that .

So that would be nice to win a little bit of money or come into a bit of money , but , yeah , pretty much my life's good .

Probably the only thing I would say is , maybe , if I could , if it was more like a wish , is to have Sarah a little bit more healthy so she could get over this little bump she's going through at the moment and get her back on an even keel , and for us to both be a bit more healthy .

Actually , maybe , maybe , just , you know , because we both need to be go on a diet . Really , I think , uh , me more than her , um , but , yeah , yeah , maybe her health and my weight loss . There you go . Which country would you like to visit in the future ? Japan , japan , japan . Didn't even need to finish reading that question .

Japan always had a fascination with the place , people , the culture , the stuff they're into , the technology , everything , um , yeah , um , yeah , japan . And the last question in this section , I might answer a couple of bonus ones from the other section . Can someone be happy without money ? Uh , yes , millions of people are happy without money and excessive money .

There's tribes that live in jungles that haven't even got a currency . So , yes , they can . I think I answered that in the previous one . Um , as well , for myself , like I , um , I'm quite happy . You know , fair enough . I , I have money , I suppose . Um , I'm quite comfortable , right , yeah , I uh , yeah , that's all I'm gonna say . Okay .

So good , 20 questions do ask . Okay . So the first one I'm gonna skip because it's about game of thrones and I've not really seen it . So I know sacrilege , I know seen the first series and that's it , so I'm gonna skip that . What is the best way to know if someone is a true friend ? That's quite a tough one , isn't it ?

What it was is what have you , you kind of want in your life at the time , isn't it what is important to you ? For me , someone that's a true friend is someone that you know has been through stuff with you . We've got a connection . You know a little bit about me .

You don't have to know all my inner , darker secrets , but there's a connection there and that you know that if you ever needed help , I would be there , and I know that if I've needed help I would be there , and I know that if I needed help , that you'd be there . And I think that's when it's a true friend that you know .

You might not speak for several months or a year , but when you make that connection again , it just goes back to how it was and you can depend on them , and you know you'd be able to depend on them if the chips were down . What would you change about your past ?

I think there's only one thing in my past that I kind of maybe semi-regret , and it was when I started working . I had the opportunity to buy a house in Northern Ireland for like a ridiculously cheap amount of money , but at the time , at my age , it seemed like a lot of money for a house , but I didn't .

I didn't want to go through the hassle of it , but in hindsight would have been a fantastic investment . Um , yeah , that's probably the only thing that I kind of partly regret , but I always think that things happen for a reason . The money I spent not buying a house at that age I did loads of other things with .

So you know , life experience versus security money wise later on in life . I think the first one's more important . You gotta get out there and and , and you know , just live life , okay . So last question before I finish . Some of them are terrible . I am scanning these . I'm not answering these in order .

I'm going to scan these a little bit because some of these are just stupid . What do you want to achieve in the next 10 years ? What do you ? want . That's actually quite good . That's a good one to end on .

So I'd really like I don't know if I can think 10 years in advance I'd like I'd hope within the next 10 years , that my my podcast still going and is marginally more successful than it is , and I might have actually started videos by then .

Um , and that you know , me and Sarah have a , have a kid and the mortgage is paid off and hopefully I might have a promotional two at work and potentially we're living in Northern Ireland , because that's the end game .

We'd like to live in Northern Ireland and I hope that everyone around me is still happy , successful and healthy , because health is a big thing . I hope that everyone I know is still here with me . I don't want to end on a solemn note , but that did go downhill quickly . But you know that's I think that's what's important to me .

So there you go , there you go . So what was that about ? 23 questions , I think , in total , in the end , with a few because of the few bonus ones . So there you go . There's a few questions to end the series on about me and , um , random questions on podlycom . I don't know , I just googled . It was the first thing that came up with questions .

Anyway , thank you very much for listening . This season it's been an absolute pleasure , as always . I will keep posting on social media as often as I can . Again , I need to do more , I know , I know . I know I'm going to go away , do some revamps , look at some stuff , look at the schedule and I will be back for Season 5 in a couple of months' time .

Season 6 , should I say this is Season 5 . Be back for Season 6 in a couple of months' time .

And if you want to reach out in the meantime , if you think you've got a story to tell and you want to be a guest on the show , then by all means go to stevenspeakcom and fill out a form . Contact me . We can get stuff going . Tell your friends , family , get them to give me a listen and , yes , until the next season .

Take care of yourselves and remember , keep on prattling . You've been listening to Infinite Drattle . Thanks for listening . If you liked this episode , go back and listen to some others , and please continue to listen . Your support is much appreciated . Please like , share , comment and subscribe , and I'll speak to you all again soon . Take care .