Episode 11 - The one about conformity

crazy times, right. And the other day, I ran across a quote from one of my favorite presidents, john F. Kennedy. Now, I may just be maybe a product of my time, but I was very young. In fact, he died before I was born the year before I was born. But what has ever been lost on me is that he was the radical at the time. It's been so many years that we now look and we think of him is old. But he he wasn't old. He was the youngest president elected. I believe

that's accurate. And, you know, he stated in his inauguration address that the torch was being passed from one generation to the next. So there's a lot of things there that were admirable about him. But he has some great quotes. But the quote that I that came to mind was conformity is the jailer of freedom, and the enemy of growth. Hey, you know, it's a simple statement, but mull it over in your head a moment. conformity is the jailer of freedom in the enemy of

growth. You take this and you combine it with the fact that that's what his whole campaign push was new blood, young blood different thinking, which I think we need some of that now. But this statement, falls in line with everything that he campaigned for. Society was doing a lot of conforming at the time. And he was espousing the need for growth. And sometimes I fear that that is happening in our society again. All the powers that be seem to want to make us conform to a mob rules kind of

mentality. Now mind you, I'm not taking the political side of the way here. In fact, it's quite the opposite. What I'm saying is, from all sides, from any camp you want to pick, it seems to be whoever's voices screaming the loudest is who we want to insist that everyone has to conform to, and if you don't conform to it, you are somehow single handedly destroying society. And I touch on these things a lot and gonna be touching on the more and more because again, I'm not that

special. I'm not that unique. I know there are other like minded people out there who might feel alone in a vast ocean. And it's good to hear someone who has similar thoughts. But there are so much rhetoric going around now, especially with COVID-19. And if you dare ask a question, you're branded close

to an enemy of the state. And it's not just COVID-19 there are so many topics about how people choose to live their lives and how they want to represent themselves, and the opposition that they have faced in their lives trying to do so. And the mental health issues that it causes. And I agree, and I feel for all of that I've shared in other episodes that I'm biracial, and I was born in the 60s in the south. So you can imagine how well my parents were

loved. But the point is, you don't even have to have come from the background that that I did. It's difficult to believe sometimes when we're caught in our own circumstances that everyone faces some opposition in life for some choice that they make or don't make. And yes, some are harder or more broadly judged than others. And I appreciate that. But I'm just saying that to say that it's not lost on me, I get it but I don't feel that you will ever

legislate acceptance. And I don't know that I would want people to legislate opinions away. We live in a free society. And we all have a right to have our own thoughts and opinions. Now, I don't think that you should have a right to impede someone's ability to live their life and to enjoy it to the fullest just because you don't like how they're choosing to live it. However, when you are a certain way that is contrary to

the so called norm. You have to accept that there are going to be people that do not accept and agree with it that aren't comfortable with it. And you can't shut them down either. I mean, here's the thing. I heard someone say years ago, there was a group of white supremacists that we're going to be holding a rally in a town. And reporters were asking people will will Why are you allowing this to go on? And they said, Because today, it's the white supremacists.

Tomorrow, it might be me, it depends on the opinion that day of who's right and who's wrong. So they said, I will defend that white supremacy group, their right to gather to rally, as long as they're not hurting anyone. Because I don't want to lose my right to do so. Now, the fact is, if as a society we majority have agreed, this kind of thinking is inappropriate, well, then no one will show for their rally. But if people do, well, that's another thing we

need to think about. silencing people is never a way to gain freedom, it's a way to lose freedom. So I think that we can avoid a lot of inner turmoil. By accepting that, whatever it may be, if you were born different than other people, in my case, because I was biracial, or other things, whatever it may be, understand that it's not what people see is the norm. So they're going to be uncomfortable with it. And maybe they just don't know enough about it or haven't had enough

exposure to it. Or maybe they've been fed a bunch of rhetoric. So why don't you be the example? Why don't you act like a normal, kind, decent human being? and intelligent people will see that and you will change their mind, by your behavior. And certainly what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Preach, and I agree with him. But by writing and screaming, and trying to shut other people up sakinah work, it's never worked. It's not going to work.

Lead by example. and thoughtful time, people will recognize that they've been ignorant, or they've been misinformed. And you're fine. But in the meantime, for your own mental health, just live your life, do your thing. My father, never let the fact that he was in a biracial relationship influence where he chose to live. And you know, what? We found acceptance. Not that there weren't some problems, of course, I had problems. But by just conducting ourselves like

every other family. We were accepted by a good number of people. And I'm saying that you know, if you're lgp T, Q, you know, whatever label you've given yourself today, just live your life and be a good person. Now, of course, avail yourself of your rights. People shouldn't tell you where you can live or where you can work. But beyond that, just live your life. And don't focus on the people you're don't focus on your detractors. But be very careful that you don't become the very problem

you're railing against. That you aren't setting the bar for a new type of conformity. And expecting everyone to conform to your thinking. And if they don't, they're bad people, allow others to have their freedom as well. The other hot topic of the day is the vaccines. Now, I'm not going to take a stand either way, so please don't wait for that. I'm not going to take a stand as far as get vaccinated or don't get vaccinated, but I am To take a stand on civility, you have your opinion, and

everybody's a little afraid. But that doesn't mean that in the heat of the moment, you get to trample other people's feelings. Everyone who has chosen to not get vaccinated is not doing so simply because they supported Trump. They're not doing so because they're uninformed. Many, it's exactly the opposite. certain ethnic groups have fear, because of things that have been done to their groups in the past things that they've experienced.

But some people are just taking in information and reading and comparing, and it's raising questions for them. And it's to the point where it's a fever pitch, where if you just have a question, it's how dare you? You know, okay, so if you tell people, you're holding us back from getting back to normal, because you have chosen not to get vaccinated? Well, I don't logically See, if you're vaccinated, the very idea of a vaccination is to protect you showed your body and counter

that virus. So I'm not real clear logically on how these three other people not being vaccinated is going to affect someone who has been vaccinated? And nobody can quite answer that question. They seem to just ignore it, and go on yelling and hollering at people to get vaccinations. So people are coming up with legitimate questions. It's not fair to silence them and berate them, and point negative fingers at them. Again, conformity is the

enemy of freedom. And you're asking people to just fall in line and conform. You're taking their freedom away? How would you feel if that were reversed? They were telling you to just stand over here on the side of the line and oppose vaccines. And that's that try to be kind try to remember that. There are different schools of thought there's a lot of people on this planet. And there are opinions other than yours or other than these 5000 opinions over here. People have brought up

legitimate concerns. I cannot say that enough times. And until the powers that be address those legitimate concerns, in a fair and equitable way. They don't speak to them like their children. And they don't look at them with disdain. You're going to continue to have a problem. And here's what I mean by the

stain. How embarrassing is it to a grown person that the President of the United States is suggesting that he will give federal dollars to state governors so that they can pay people $100 to get a vaccine. Talk about dismissing people's intelligent, legitimate concerns. Now, that statement alone, that you'll pay them $100 it's it's it would be offensive to me if I were an anti Vax person, or at least against this

vaccine. Because it's as if you are supposing you are assuming that someone is so in need of money that $100 will change their mind. It is also assuming a lack of intelligence. at a level I can't even measure you're assuming that people have not chosen to go unvaccinated because of sound informed decisions. But just I don't know, because they're being like an absent child. It's like giving a kid a sucker in the pediatricians office because they get their vaccinations that

day. You're treating grown citizens who by the way, have the power to vote you in or out of your job. Like they're a child at the pediatricians office and you don't think that they deserve any better. You're so desperate for them to conform. conformity takes away people's freedom. And isn't that what everyone on these two topics that I just said? Keep saying my personal freedom and

we keep pushing it. But you're asking people to conform and you are asking take away some of their freedoms there Freedom to think how they want to think and to have their own independent idea and thought about something, to have their own belief system to make a decision about their own bodies. So these are just a couple examples of things that you can't sit there in your chair and be so convinced that you err on the side of right, stop and think, to have a happy life think

outside the box. And part of having happy life is respecting people respecting that there are other people on this planet, and you don't live here an island unto yourself. If you want people to respect and understand you, you have to respect and understand them. And these topics that I'm bringing up are just current ones, that will resonate with most anyone

listening. So I think that they make a very good example of of my overall point, you have to be very careful to remain a thinking person, don't just blindly conform, because that is what the status quo is doing. stop and consider if what you're being asked to do. First of all, if it's taking away your rights, your civil liberties, your freedom. Secondly, does it make

any sense? I mean, it's not popular to say, but the fact is, many things get pushed through as laws by special interest groups, whether it be large corporations or individuals. The fact is, some of it just doesn't make any sense. And I mean, I think about these things all the time, such as what we're talking about here. But I'll give you another example. I live in Michigan, and Michigan, there is a no helmet law for motorcycles anymore. And there is a seatbelt

law. And I think that's pretty much how it is in most of the country now. Well, has anybody ever sat and thought about that, that you have to have a seatbelt on or you're ticketed, and you have to pay a fine, but you can ride a motorcycle without a helmet. And the reason that the status quo gives is that the cost of injuries due to not wearing a seatbelt put a burden on society. And I'm thinking that can't be anywhere near the cost of injuries to someone with zero protection on a motorcycle

with no helmet. I mean, think about that. Just think about it. The only logical answer is that someone somewhere wanted and benefited from removing Helmut loss. And some other group somewhere benefited from continuing to find you if you don't wear a seatbelt. Aren't we all grown people out there? So why does a person in a car have to wear a seatbelt? But someone on a motorcycle doesn't have to wear a helmet? They can experience that freedom. And

another one. If you look at professional drivers, they don't wear a seatbelt, anything like the seatbelt we wear and they always wear helmets, and fire retardant suits and a lot of other things. But I mean, if you really get down to safety, then why aren't we required to wear a helmet and a car. People still get horrible head injuries and car accidents. But I mean, these are the kinds of things that I think about that I want you to think about.

It doesn't mean you have to jump on a soapbox and throw your opinion down everyone's throat. But it doesn't mean that part of having a happy life, a content life, the life that you want, is getting to know yourself. And part of that process is thinking through and reasoning through everything that's thrown at you.

I don't believe that you should follow the trail being cleared by a politician in Washington who says it's the good American thing to do any more than you should follow the trail of someone who's standing up for gender rights or any other sexual rights just because they say this is how it should be or a star in Hollywood. I'm not putting any of these groups

down. But I'm saying that the key to an unhappy life is to follow whatever the loudest voice in the room is at the moment and not know yourself and know your mind and know your thoughts and your feelings and where you stand. Don't jump on a side of any topic. Say Simply because it seems to be the popular thing to do. If you were the only person on the earth that feels the way that you do, it still does not make you wrong. All the rest of us could be wrong, and you may be the

only right one in the room. So, have that confidence in yourself. Train yourself, to be an informed listener. Decide for yourself, how you feel about these topics and where you stand. And you know what, here's another big trick. You do not have to go on social media and tell the world what those thoughts are. They can be your very own thoughts that you manage and keep to yourself. And anyone who asked you is being rude, because unless it applies to your relationship with them,

it's none of their business. But the point is, it's key in developing you, the person you want to be the things you want to stand up for the things you believe in, and the course you want your life to go on. Don't be led by any pack, even if that pack is the loudest one in the world right now. And they seem to be the right one. And they're

the most popular one. And it's the most popular thing to say, be the voice that you want to hear think what you want to think ever seen those old newsreels of the Third Reich when they were at their height of power. I mean, when they showed these rallies in these like assembling of the troops, I don't know what they were called. But it was clearly an enormous area that these people were in. And there were 10s of 1000s of people there marching and shaking their fist in belief

of Adolf Hitler. In his complete insanity. Well, what we now know to be insane. So what if you were the person that had jumped on that bandwagon? Because in your country, and within your group of people, it was definitely the popular thing to say and do it made sense. What he was preaching made perfect sense, the recovery of the German economy and even gave you someone blame for the demise of the German economy. And then he gave you a solution of how to

get rid of them. What if in history, you were the person that jumped on that bandwagon because it was so popular? And it had so many followers, and it made so much sense. So that's an extreme example, but people don't believe for a minute that it can't happen again. If you turn into a group of people that never stop and think about what is being said to them, if you never stop and do your own research, if you never stop and think Does this make sense?

You'll be a Patsy every time you are the mark that these people look for when they put out sound bites that make it seem like, you know, truth, justice and the American way. Or anyone who is a good human would understand my rights to do this. And the other thing and anyone who opposes it is bad, bad, bad, bad person. And don't think about these things. Because what those people are really saying is that anyone who feels differently than I do is wrong.

Well, isn't that kind of like you're becoming what you're supposedly fighting against. You know, there are better ways to live your life people. There are ways that make it easier, and it's not hiding and it's not failing to be who you really are. Be who you really are. Don't challenge the entire world with it. That's how you have a

happy life. That is the key. I faced many of these challenges myself and I can tell you that sometimes your best weapon is just to live and to be a good person to be a kind person and guess what if you were as I have said many times born the picture perfect sample of exactly what mainstream society wanted people would sell find something to criticize you about. Alright, there is no perfect anything. Some people are going to like you and some people are just not going to like you. It's a fact

and that's okay. There's a lot of opinions out there. Step away from the people who don't like you find the people who do because they're out there as well. But you don't in the process need to make people feel that they all have to agree with you in order to be on the side of right. You are on your side and they are on there's who knows history will tell? Who was ultimately right and wrong. Maybe there is no right and wrong. Maybe it's just what's popular at the time, or what's

not. But I have never in my life, walked into a room and felt the need to make the announcement at the first opportunity. The most awkward segue I can find it saying I'm biracial. And what do you got to say about that you better not have problem with me because of that. You better like it, and you better be okay with it. Or else I would not recommend walking into a room and completely unnecessarily be I'm out. I'm proud. I'm this I'm

that. Okay, first of all, why does anybody in that room care who you're sleeping with what your sexuality is? What is the purpose of it? There's no point. So just walk in the room. I just walk in a room. And sometimes it's astonishing. The things I hear. That wouldn't have been said otherwise. But that's a whole nother story.

I'm saying you don't need to fight every battle you don't need to create a battleground because you are acting no different than the people that have asked you to conform to their ways that is not freedom. So I hope you've enjoyed this episode today. I hope you give some of this some thought we're gonna be touching on these topics. Again, if you don't like it if you don't agree with it. If it doesn't make any sense you then thanks for trying but go

listen to another podcast. If you like the show, please rate us leave an opinion. I thank you for supporting the show. I want you to have a good rest of your day.