ITL136: How Does a Successful Marriage Work?

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on what it really takes to have a successful marriage.

Occasionally you hear people say, “We don’t have any problems. We don’t fight ever.”

• Anytime I hear that, I always think that somebody is being fooled.
• I don’t know how two people can exist and not have to work some things out.
• If you have ever been involved in a long-term friendship, there have been moments that you could have walked away from the friend and never done anything with them again.
• A marriage is more than just a long-term friendship. 

Polly and I have a working marriage. It’s a consistent work in progress.

• I think we all go through moments where we feel like we can’t stand a person anymore. That’s human nature.
• The commitment to how things should be has to be larger than a momentary feeling of disagreement.

Our first couple of years were the hardest part of our marriage.

• We got married, and to our horror, found out how different we were from one another. I panicked for a little while.
• I remembered Jones telling me that if two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.

I think that the kids knowing that your decisions are for your long-term future really affects them.

• Even though we disagree or get mad, there is a larger purpose that the boys know they are a part of, too.

I think the best marriage book ever written is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It firmly grasps the idea of what both people need.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

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