Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Poloma Garcia. And I am Danny Parakoni. And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no medication, just movement. When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. And now on to today's episode. Hi everybody, welcome back to The Pod. Today we're going to be talking about judgment and what we judge and kind of what, how we can work with it because it's not fun to feel judged, but it's also not fun to judge people, right? We're all thought about what's going on in our own lives often.
And there's a big difference between judgment and discernment and just really having, you know, kind of an idea of what you like in your life and what you want more of. And that's really what we want to explore here because it's a really great way to dig deeper and to look at your own patterns, your emotions and things that are coming up for you, coming up with ReConnex. ReConnex is our process here at ITC to reprogram our subconscious beliefs. So there's a lot to talk about here, I think.
Yeah. I don't know how structured it's going to be, but I know they have a lot to say on this subject. We'll start with what judgment is, right? So like judgment from the definition standpoint, the act of forming opinions or conclusions about something based on available information or personal beliefs. It often involves a quick assessment of a situation or a person's actions, which can sometimes lead to snap decisions or stereotypes, right? They're all done that, right? That's so true.
That's so common. I do that all the time and I catch myself and I'm like, I'm trying not to do this, but it's so like encoded in my brain at this point in most of our brains, right? Like you look at somebody and you immediately make a snap judgment about them. And we've all been in that position where somebody totally surprises you and you're like, you're not the person that I thought you were, right?
And I think, wait, this actually makes sense for me, Danny, because I just came up with a reconnect last week about letting go of controlling the way that other people see me. Or maybe I think it was actually on Monday, last week. It's been a long week, people. And I think maybe that's why, because I know I'm constantly making snap judgments about people and so that I think they're doing the same, right? I want to control the way they see me.
So that's something that I definitely have to address more. We just did a reconnect before getting on this call. And I know we did them on Monday as well. But I think that a lot of judgment comes from something that you feel that you're lacking or something that you feel that you do that you don't like about yourself, right? So for example, a common judgment is we always use the example of money, right? It's judging the way that people use their money.
And if you're judging the way that somebody uses, like when they don't have that much money, then maybe you're somebody who's like, if I were in that position, you know, you're somebody that's very, what's it called, very controlled with your money and you're really good at like saving and you're maybe have a little bit of a lack mentality, right? Where you're like, I got a hoard at all, right?
And they're spending recklessly even though they don't have any money or the opposite when somebody has a ton of money and they don't spend anything. You're like, but you have all this money, go spend it, right? And so it's not about, we'll talk about this in a second. It's not about what aligns with you or what doesn't.
The judgment piece, the piece of judgment I should say that we're looking at in this podcast and in our program is what's the part that gives you like a visceral emotional reaction? You're like, why does that person do that? And you're like, well, they're just so blank and you come up with whatever word it is that puts them down and puts you up, right? And that's what we do. That's what judgment is, is putting yourself in a higher position that whoever you're judging, right?
And what our sense it is. And so a lot of the time it comes up, it comes from our insecurities, from our own beliefs and from things that we obviously don't align with. But always it's coming from something that is inside of us that is either being reflected back or the lack of it is being shown to us, right? So it's something we really wish we did have. And you know, often judgment comes from jealousy, where you see somebody has something that you want or does something that you want.
You're like, well, they're just like so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's why they do that. And that's why they have that. And then you're like, wait, I really want that. Yeah. I always hear people talk and we all do it. So it's not like Plum and I are immune to like talking about other people. No, I just said I just said I just said I just said it. But it's really about like, when you start to hear people talk and you start to listen to how they process information.
Because remember, all the information is coming through different filters of what you've created, right? And so like, I don't see the world the same way Plum does and vice versa. And so you start to see like what information hits certain people's filters and their belief systems. And that's when you start to learn so much about people just by listening to them. And that's like, hey, people like so many that have been around forever, that's why you have two ears and just one mouth, right?
You should be listening twice as much as you're talking to try to hear more about how other people are processing the world before you just jumped these snap judgments, right? And so in the beginning of our business together, we did a lot more judgment and we did a lot of what did they get back to us? And we would immediately create like a story of like, but it would often reflect on we were enough and we weren't worthy of and that's why they didn't respond back to us.
And this is where all that brainwrit comes in of being able to like pause and instead of catastrophizing it just be like, they're probably busy, right? Yeah. And that's the, that's the example we give all the time where and they know most people listening to this are going to relate to this one. When you send an email or a text and they don't respond immediately and you know it's because it's something that you're like anxious about, right?
And it's just like, oh, well, they're probably, you know, it's a typical thing with like the boyfriend, right? Like, oh, he's probably out with other girls, you know, the meme where like the girlfriend is like, oh, he's probably out with other girls and it's videos of it like guy doing what they're actually doing. Yeah, it's like, like in reenacting a scene from Harry Potter. Right. Exactly.
And you just make these stories about like, well, he probably got angry because day before yesterday he asked me about what my favorite movie was and I told him a movie that he hadn't seen and then I said, I can't believe you hadn't seen that. So it's probably why he's mad. And so, and you're just like making this whole entire story where he's like, hey, sorry, I was taking a nap. My phone was charging in the other room.
It's like, I'm literally just stressed myself out for two and a half hours or however long all this person was just chilling like Magellan and I could have been doing the same, you know, but it's because that's where the subconscious, the insecurity you feel around whatever this message was about or whatever this interaction was about. Because sometimes it can be like a work email, right? Where you're like, oh, I feel insecure in my job right now and my boss is getting back to me about this.
I feel like that's so common too. I see that people talk about that on TikTok all the time. So that belief, that imposter syndrome in the job case, right? Or that insecurity, anxious attachment maybe with your boyfriend comes up and comes against your primitive brain, which is like anything that is not predictable. I'm processing as a life for death situation.
So I'm going to freak out and I'm going to decide that every single worst case scenario is happening right now as I'm sitting here staring at my screen, hoping that something will come in from that person. Exactly. So we're asking you to take those moments of judgment and just doing like that quick emotional reaction and looking at that and saying, well, what is really actually going on with me?
Because it's quick and easy to point fingers at everybody else and tell them how to live their lives, right? And that's what we do when we judge. We're just like, if you just did life like this, it'd be so different. And then we're asking you to kind of flip the script. Well, what is coming up if you're telling someone who's having a trouble with spending money late crazy, are you spending money late crazy? Are you frivolously spending?
And it's really coming down to awareness because when you can have the awareness about your pattern and your beliefs, then you start to realize, oh, anything that I call out in other people is really just me. It's what I'm doing. And I can sell like me and my partner right now are doing so much mirroring back and forth. It's like almost insane. We're at this like really critical like frustration point in our relationship.
We're just like, oh my gosh, you're doing what you're telling me not to do. And I'm doing what you're doing. You know, and I'm telling you not to do it. And it's like, okay. So at what point do we then look at it and go, what are we trying to accomplish here? And so this is where we say, if it's emotional, if it's giving you a visceral reaction, it's judgment, it's giving you insight about you. What can you do?
Well, there's brain work to help calm the system down and then a reconnect so you can break the pattern. And that's really the biggest piece of like, okay, where do I need to look at my life? Am I living in a lack mindset? Am I looking at things at a very fearful angle? What do I need to do to shift it? Right. Where is that coming from? Exactly. That's the ultimate point of all of this, right?
And that's where it's completely different from discernment because being able to discern what you like, what you don't, what aligns with you, that's a good thing. That's part of creating your moral compass in life, right? And understanding what your core values are as a person and acting in alignment with them.
So seeing somebody that spends frivolously and you would never do that, that's okay because you can say, one of my core values is to be very, I don't know, intentional with the way that I use my money. But the moment you see that person and you feel that activation, that's where you're really judging them. And the moment, you know what also judgment goes hand in hand with labels. Like you always put a label on that person. Oh, they're so blank. Right. They're so frivolous.
They're so this, they're so that. And that's so easy because it categorizes it in your mind. So you and I were talking about on Monday, right? It puts that person in a box that makes your brain able to interpret it and to like discount it, right? Right. Well, that doesn't matter because blank. And so that way you don't have to look at yourself in that sense, right? It's so easy to judge.
I mean, if you think about it, it's one of the most natural things that people do since the beginning of time. It's a, it's a human thing because we live in a society, we live in a community in different communities. We're constantly comparing ourselves to others. That's really human nature. It's not helpful. It's good to know that we're doing it and identify and actively try to not do it, but it is a huge, total human nature thing. Yeah, it is.
And there's no like being above anybody by not judging because we all do it, whether we do it outwardly or inwardly. We're all trying to make a story in our mind of what's going on so we can make sense of something. And so we're just like, we're telling you, you can't literally walk around and not judge anybody unless you're like Jesus or like a monk that lives on a mountain and you've learned how to like completely do that, right? It's hard. It's hard work to do.
We're asking that like when you start to judge is to gain the awareness and to dig into it, like where is it coming from? And start etching away at the layers of like, well, do I want that? Is it serving me? And it's really just a chance to get to know yourself more. So I start to judge and I go, I laugh now and I go, oh, I even have that thought. That means that somebody needs to go work on.
And sometimes I'm like, no, when I resist it, because if you listened to our last podcast, we resisted it's like, oh, that, that's something that's still existing within you. And so it, and also we talk about this all the time. It's the awareness. That's the biggest, biggest piece. Because if you don't have awareness, you've got nothing else to grow from.
So you have to be able to pause yourself and really be curious and curiosity is going to keep you in your cortex and it's going to help you instead of shaming yourself for having these thoughts. It's about get curious. Like why? Why do I think this? How is it serving me? Do I want it to continue? And like because of the way that the brain works, it always wants a story, a beginning, middle, an end. Right. And so that's where those judgments come in.
But it's hard to, and so that's why it's hard, right? To not judge people and to not create those stories and to not make these assumptions about things because the brain needs it to process it. Right. So that's where letting go is a huge one. And if you're already in the program, I highly recommend doing, I let go of my expectations. I let go of society's expectations, right? I let go of the stories I make for people because that's a huge piece of it. So hard.
I feel like we've kind of started to accomplish it recently. You and I have, because we've started to work on that part of ourselves, but it's just, it's really hard. And I think it's something so crazy. Society's expectations, literally, it's like, we were talking about this in the group chat the other day with all the members. We have this idea of like, oh, I had a human moment or I have to accept the human in me. And it's like, we are all humans. Right.
And we're giving the idea of being a human a lesser judgment. Right. It's like, oh, I had a human moment. Not me as if the rest of the time I had to operate on a super human plane. Right. And the rest of the time I had to be like, I love it. Right. Yeah. And it's just like, we have these sky high expectations for ourselves in every single way. So even the fact that having a human moment or accepting the human in myself is an expression and is something that we say all the time.
That tells us so much about the way that society that we see ourselves, right? In society. Well, yeah. And you think about the world we're in today is moving and we've talked about this before. The amount of information we receive in one day is what was equivalent to a whole entire person's lifetime, like what 500 years ago.
And so if you look at how much faster we have to process through things and it's such a higher speed, we need to remember we're human because we're up against machines all the time. And so we look at a computer, how it's operating so efficiently most of the time. And then we expect the same sort of thing on ourselves, right?
And then we go back into like all the epigenetics we're about to be talking in about what your parents passed down to you because what their parents passed down to them and every single year the bar gets higher and higher. So for us, it's like we, and this is why we love our parenting approach. It's because it's really about looking at yourself before you even look at your kids and looking at what they're doing. It's about looking at you. And it changes the scale of how much harder it is.
Because when you look at a kid who has behaviors that need to be managed because you're managing because people are judging you because you're not good enough as a parent, right? This is a story you tell yourself. Then you start to like feel like you have to control more and then you have to do more and you have to overcompensate for all these things.
And we're like, how about try it this way where you look at yourself, let your kid be them, be themself, do their things, put boundaries in place, but work on yourself so you're coming from a healthy place. That's not a pattern that was dictated to you from whoever, right? So it's really about like trying to have like a clean slate approach in this chaotic world. And it's definitely not easy work, but once you start getting into it and then you start getting really curious.
It's like the biggest, that's like the best adjective I can give you is to just be curious with it and sit with it and just, I'm curious as to why this is happening. I guess it's more of a verb, right? And I'm sitting here and really trying to decide like, why am I reacting? Is it a verb or an adjective? No, it's an adjective. Like I'm curious. I'm curious. Oh yeah, I am. Wait, I am, right? You're gonna be like, I'm curiousing today. Yeah, right.
Okay, I am curious of why certain things are happening and it doesn't, and this is what's so hard and this is why we keep reminding ourselves to be human is because we think that we need to be above it. And I just want anyone who's listening to this to realize like to get into that space of not caring what people think about you and not caring that their judgment is just a projection of them, right? And they are just throwing their own wounds and hurt and pain at you.
And you, when you can get to that space of not caring and it takes work, it takes a lot of reconnects to get there, then you start to realize like I am free to create who I am and being free to be a human that makes mistakes because that's how I grow. And I don't know, I think that it's cool because my kids will shine so much light on this for me where they're talking to me and they're like, but mom, I'm just a kid. And I'm like, yeah, you're right.
Like in what world do I think you're supposed to already know how to drive a car, right? Like, yeah, not that I tell them to, but I'm just saying like there's things that they still need so much support with and course. Because of our program. And I think, you know, when you say people are throwing their things at you, you're throwing things at people too. Like you don't even know it, right?
So it's also not about, I just want to make it clear that we're not saying that you're walking out into the world and you have to have this like shield because people are going to be throwing their trauma at you 24 seven. That's not what it is. It's just people are living it and experiencing it and just literally going through life with the programming that they have.
And when it comes up against you, it does feel like somebody's throwing something at you, but they're not doing it on purpose because you're doing the same thing without even noticing a bunch of other people, right? And that's where you, you know, we've all had that moment where you're like, I feel like that person doesn't really like me how much or I say, I say something that I think is no big deal and somebody really reacts in a certain way. You're like, whoa, okay.
And that's where they got, you know, triggered really by something that I said, right? Or I did, or I represent for them. And I think it's really important to also think about like not going back, like you don't have to fit into the story that you've made for yourself. I think that's a huge, that's a reconnect. I'm going to write that down because I feel like we do that all the time.
I literally just thought of this right now because I have this story about myself that I think I grew up in a way, I've talked about this before on the podcast and in a way that everybody was like, oh, you're so smart. You're so smart. You're so smart. Nothing's ever going to be hard for you because you're so smart, right? So I grew up thinking, okay, great. So everything can always be easy for the rest of my life. Wonderful. And subconsciously, obviously.
And so whenever I encounter something that's not easy, I'm like, hi. Hi. See you never. Before I tried to like overcompensate and show that I am really smart, right? And I had a couple of moments, like for example, right now with the adjective of the verb, that would have made me so annoyed like a year ago. I'd have been like, absolutely not. That's an adjective. No, because blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, like, then I would have been like having to prove that I had, that I knew what it was.
Yeah. Then right now I literally Google like is curious and verbatim. I don't care. Or like my friend, I told you my friend told me she's pregnant. Yeah. Nine weeks pregnant. Okay. She told me up this week. And I was like, oh my God, how cool would it be your baby's birthday, which is in December. She's like, baby girl, the due days in February. Like what are you talking about? And I was like, oh my gosh, I forgot to carry the one.
And it's because, but I was able to laugh at it where before I would have been so like, oh, I thought you said, I read it wrong. I thought you said, like I would have made up an excuse. I thought you said, you know, 19 weeks or whatever it is. Right. I would have made up something like that because I would have to cover up like, no, I am really smart, you know, and that's where I've released that, that narrative from my life.
I think there's other narratives that I want to release too, but I think we all have that one line that you're like, oh, everything I do has to fall into this one path that represents who I am because that's the person that I am. Right.
So these are just constructs that have been put upon us or that we've put on ourselves or society has to say and like it's also, it's just so easy to fall into it because our neural pathways, they are strong, you know, and so that's where also identifying that is another way of really helping you understand why you judge the things that you do. Oh my gosh.
Yes. And I love that you bring up just the everyday conversations we have and how insightful they are because that is how you find reconnects. And that's one thing that we're going to take you through on our reconnect challenge is one of the major ways to find a reconnect is just by living because by living, you're going to find yourself bumping into other people's values. And that's really what it comes down to is what do I value so strongly?
Why do I need to have you change the way you live to fit into my value system? So I feel good. And I mean, I find myself doing that too, but I look at it as, you know, just by living, you can find out so much about yourself. And it's funny because we started talking about scheduling, like a simple thing of like putting things on a calendar. And what would have seemed just like a simple like put it on a calendar, move on with things.
For me, it was so much deeper of like this, like two pieces of it was, you know, I was like, okay, it's so easy for you just to tell me just like how to put in a calendar. But for me, I'm like, no, you don't understand. You don't understand how many different calendars I'm trying to run and operate. And then it really boils down to how frustrated I get when I'm still trying to like work my normal schedule and I don't have childcare on the regular and how hard that feels.
And I know I say parenting is hard because it is, it's really hard because you're managing and we just, you don't have a day off. Like when you're a parent, you can't just go on, give me 30 and you need to go take a break and come back. Like you can walk out of a room and calm down, but like you're not like, I'm going to go take my lunch break. You guys like just go do you, right? Yeah. And so that's why parenting is a full time gig.
And there's so much to it when you become a parent of things that you never, you can never prepare for it because you've never known anything like it before. Right. So unless you were the oldest sibling that had to take care of all your other siblings and there's a whole lot of other stuff going on with that. But for me, it's like a simple thing like scheduling that actually had a bigger root of like number one being told what to do. I cannot stand being told what to do.
And I have to keep working on that layer of like, why do I feel that? And when people will wait to do, I always feel like I'm being judged of like maybe not being good enough on certain things or whatever it is. Like you're not doing enough. Or like I'm not doing enough. I'm like, do I need to, and then you find yourself getting defensive in the judgment.
And then also to just like, so whatever simple thing comes up, you can feel that there's so many layers and the surface is always what we argue about. But really when you get down into the meat of it, you're like, actually it's stemming from this feeling. Exactly. No control or once you, you identified that we figured out what it was. And we simply, I was like, do this and quickly like, now we do this and now we change the system and it took us, you know, how it doesn't matter how long it took.
But it, once you like, oh my gosh, that's where it's coming from. Then the superficial part becomes so much easier. Yeah. Because we could have been like, okay, so now we're going to do this system. We're going to do it this way.
But if you still had that feeling of like, oh, it's, it would have come up in a different way with another thing or with another thing with that or it would have been with your, with your field hockey, with your kids, with Sam, with what it would have come up in another way. And so here now you, all you had to do was identify it. And you were like, I think that's what it is. Okay. And then that whole like layer came off of the conversation. Right. And then we figured it out.
And in two things than that, that's the P I was going to say. So two parts on that. Number one, had we not had brain work, it would have turned into a massive fight. And you know, I don't want to jinx this or anything Paloma, but like we've been in business now for many, many years together and we've never had like what most businesses have like big explosive arguments. And we truthfully like, we'll, we'll annoy each other for sure. And we'll like throw out the judgment. I'll get triggered.
I'll get triggered. But the, the speed in which we can overcome it. And we are so, we are like, we couldn't find two more opposite people in the entire world to work together. Like it's, you know, it's pretty wild, but like the speed in which we can like overcome things is so fast. And that's totally attributed to doing brain work because we can just like let things roll off of us faster.
And then the second piece is, is if you don't address that lesson and getting to the root of it, it will just keep showing up over and over. And you'll just be like, the world is judging you. You've like the world's against you versus seeing it as a lesson and something to learn more about yourself. A million percent, a hundred thousand. That's exactly it. Oh, well, so that's judgment. That's judgment for you. Yeah. Because no, if you have any questions, right?
Go ahead and tag us in all your judgy moments. But now you talk about discernment more because this is really where we want more of us to be living in a discerning space where it almost feels like, you know, you're involved in a more thoughtful and a deliberate approach to evaluating a situation or people. And it usually entails like a careful observation, analysis, consideration of many different factors before just arriving at like a conclusion.
So you're in a space of critically thinking, you're being open minded. You're in your cortex. You're in your cortex. You're looking to understand nuances, complexities. You're looking to create a more balanced and insightful perspective. Like you couldn't have written how to be in your cortex more than being discerning. Like that is literally what we're asking people to do. Well, that's what, and that's also what society asks people to do. It's a very societal podcast today.
But every day, every single one is. But it is like we, we talk about it all the time. Society in the world is set up for people who operate solely from their cortex. And we don't like, it's, it's, you know, that's why behavioral economics is a thing. Cause they used to think like, you know, humans were 1000 million percent rational. And it's like, we're literally not. We're the most emotional beings ever. Emotional beings ever.
And it's just like the world is set up for people that act 100% logically. It still is now in 2024. Like what can we change that place? Yeah. It's crazy because we're not, we're all live in. This is when we say you're living in survival mode, right? You're asking, so think about this. You're driving down the road and you're critiquing how other people are driving. But yet there shouldn't be any emotion to it, right? Because we all took our driver's test. We all should know the rules of the road.
We've laid it out black and white. It's this way, this way, everyone knows the rules, right? Or they should. But yet we still tell everybody how to drive. And it's like, but wait, we don't know what's going on in the other person's world, right? That's as if we're robots and we're staying on a track. And there's no other option. And how many times does it happen to you where you're just like, whoa, sorry.
You're like, you know, where you don't even, like you're both hands are on the wheel, tendon to whatever. And you have a little Swervy McServer's in, like that's okay. It's life. Or you break a little too hard, right Danny? And like it's not a big deal. It's just a little whoopsie doodle. You're just being a little bit of a silly goose and that's okay. And like when other people do it, you're like, you know what I mean?
Or there's other things that happen and we just did that where we judged a car so hard. And then we were like, oh, yeah, I'm not bad about it. But like this is where we're just like, okay, hey, this podcast isn't telling you how to be perfect. This podcast is helping you gain awareness that you're a human and you have emotions. And it's okay. It's all okay. It's a good thing. What are you doing about it to get better? We're not saying get perfect.
We're saying get better, feel better, be able to laugh it off. Like is curious and adjective verb. I don't know, but I got Google and I'll figure that out, you know, like and laugh your way through it. Or, you know, being able to be in the space of like, well, I really can't carry the one when you tell me what your pregnancy date is because I'm not in my wheelhouse, you know? And it's just being everyone being able just to take a moment to just say, yeah, I messed up. I, whoops.
Or I just judged you that's meaning more about me. So it's just having some accountability behind it too. Absolutely. Versus defensiveness. And I think that's where I get frustrated too is like, stop defending it. Just look at what is the root to cause it. Right. Doing it, right? Let's just see what's going on. It's not about, it's not, it's not about the thing that happens. It's about what's behind it. So we don't want to argue and go back and forth about whatever happened. Who did it?
Who said this? Who did whatever? It's about the other part of it, right? And so that's where, and also not feeling like you have to walk on water and always be like, oh, I'm discerning, I'm discerning, I'm not judging, I'm this and that, like, live your life. Just have this in the back of your mind, right? Right. And the easiest way to do that is to regulate your nervous system first, which is the best way to do that. You know what we're going to say, baby. It is in the cortex.
And with that, I'll do a little outro situation. Perfect. So please subscribe and rate the pod, share it with your friends, et cetera. It really, really helps us. And let us know what you want to listen to because we love getting recommendations or questions from people on social media. You can leave it in the comments. We like when other people can see it, but you can also DM it to us if you don't want anybody to see what you're asking.
And remember to follow us on tiktok is in underscore the underscore cortex. Instagram is in the cortex underscore us. In the cortex underscore ESP, if you're a Spanish speaker, I'm reviving that little by little. So it's going great. And remember, you can send us an email at hello it in the cortex.com, our website is in the cortex.com. And we have a really, really fun challenge coming up.
We're not sure about the date yet, but if you have questions about the reconnects about the subconscious beliefs, any of that piece that we talk about, whether you're a member or not, you can put it in the chat in the accountability chat. If you're a member, if not, send us a DM, send us an email. We really, really, really want to make this challenge. It's going to be free for everybody to participate. We really want to make it something that is going to just enrich your life.
It's going to be a 30 day situation. It's going to be so amazing and helpful. I hope and awesome. And you know, if you haven't signed up yet, what are you waiting for? What are you, what are you judging? No, I'm just kidding. Oh, were you judging? Like maybe you're judging that the movements look so weird. Right. I can't do that. That's too weird. Well, we invite you. What is weird anyway? Yeah, what is weird? Where are we? What is weird? Is it an adjective or is it a verb?
It's effectively an adjective and that's what we are. Exactly. And so use promo code BRAINIAC for 10 bucks off your first purchase, your first payment of our program. So thank you. Have a great rest of your day. Also, if you don't sign up, no judgment, you know what I'm saying? Just discernment. What can we do different to get you to buy it?