Damon West: How to Escape a Life Sentence | E120

a bad day? Is it one of those days, right? Because if it's not one of those days, then my day is just not that great. I can turn this thing around pretty quickly, right? I just got to change the way I think about the day in front of me when I'm in the room that night at Euston, Texas, I had survived prison. I've been to do something way worse than this. But I took the time to apply the perspective because if I don't apply their perspective, that night, the odds of me succeeding is so

daunting. I'm gonna walk out that room and listen to the voice of fear in my head. But I stopped that pod per second with Daymond. This isn't a bad day this even if this guy tells you no, it's just a no doesn't hurt. It's not like you're getting beat up in the day room again, define what your bad days look like and compare your days to those days.

out is this. The messengers in life can come from anywhere, they won't look like you, they won't come to the same background as you they'll have the same experiences you but the trick is you have to be receptive to all of life's messengers to get all the

messages in life. Right? And if you if you close yourself off to somebody because they don't look like you they're not the same religion as you they don't come from st part of America as you you'll miss the most important lessons and some of the best friendships right? So Carlos this little bank robber that Carlos has gotten 99 years from insured bank job super nice guy though. Real good guy. I guess put a gun in people's faces but he's a he's a nice dude. But

he's a good guy. Right? So whenever medium is a really good guy and you gotta make friends somewhere. Right? So Carlos is my buddy. Um, I've told him I'm struggling. I can't do it. I don't know if I can make it through here. I don't want to become an ad night in our cell. I told Carl's story the coffee the first time I've ever shared it with someone else. And man, Carlos is excited, man. He's real animated little guys. Like he's like, man. I love this coffee beans story, he said But

you're right. You're no coffee bean. He said. Honestly, you'll never be a coffee bean. I got him I got across his face. Man. That's all aggravated. I am this point. Like, what do you mean? Who You Are the coffee bean man. Why can I be your coffee bean right now? Like, I'm stuttering. I'm so mad at him. And he's laughing at me. He's like, because of what you think. He said your thoughts or everything? He said, Your problem is you think prison is a

punishment. When you should be thinking prison is an opportunity. They didn't know what it was. No one had ever told me. So I go up in front of the TV one day, I'm like, Hey, do y'all know what they're talking about up there? How those get a fight? Like what are you trying to make fun of us? Why boy? No. But I can teach you all about that. Because I

used to be a broker. I taught these guys about the stock market in there, man, these guys are running their own black market stock market would stuff off the commissary man, they jumped in what I found out too about prisoners, there's some guys in prison, there's a great businessman, that can be a great

business person, right? I mean, you take a drug dealer, somebody that can take a quantity of a drug, break it up in a bunch of different baggies, different quantities, and they know which baggie, they get to they break even, they know which baggie they're gonna get to they can buy more supply, double and triple their supply. They're running a business, just a bad

business. But they're running a business, I found a way to tap into the bet the better part of their angels, and get them to be a part of a community and believe in themselves. I tell them those words to those four words that you usually hear from a coach or a teacher. Tell them I believe in you. I believe in you. For four most powerful words in the English language are I believe in you, I believe in you. I've made it transform

those guys. When I go into prisons now, still with my class, and I go to prisons and talk over America. I make sure they hear those words from me, I believe in you, because that matters. Now someone else believes in me. And Rando, you're talking about? You know, when I was in prison, I was a very sober observer. Prism was white like living in a giant sociological petri dish, right? I mean, you're in a lab

experiment every day. And the rules can change whatever pod you live in whoever has the power and their whatever gang is in control. That's the rules you live by. So I was starting to observing what, what are the factors that kind of decide who goes to prison, right? identified five. Here's the five variables that I think kind of tells us who's going to have negative interaction with the criminal justice system. poverty, poverty was the biggest

factor in prison. You know, most people in prison come from a very impoverished background. Lack of an education was the second biggest. Most of the people in the average education in prison was seventh or eighth grade at the most, right. Lack of a family unit was the next biggest, not about nuclear families coming out of prison. I was an anomaly for this. By the way, Randall. You know, a lot of these people came from a single parent home, if they were lucky, that single parent was involved

in watts. I knew a guy in prison that his mother used to burn him every day with cigarettes, if he didn't snatch enough purses when he was seven years old. Imagine that, and that's your mother. That's going to take some trauma healing to fix that person. Right. The next variable was race. I got into prison and I saw man what happened in America, white people make up the majority of America, right?

Black people, black men, specifically black men, they make up about six and a half percent of our entire American population, black people make up 13%. Black men are about six, six and a half percent. Black men were about 50% of the prison population when I got in there. And I'm like, How is six and a half percent of the population committing 50% of the crime? Well, they're not right. That's the whole point. But the numbers

were just reversed. Blacks had the main numbers, Hispanics had the next numbers and then whites had the lowest numbers in prison. So poverty, I mean, for so race was the fourth big variable that you deal with in there. And the fifth variable was substance abuse, slash mental health. That's the variable was mine. I was a substance abuse guy. 80% of the people in prison have substance abuse issues. 80%. And when I learned this number, when I was in prison, I started going to my

my recovery meetings. And the first meeting I went to in recovery, I was like, Man, I'm excited. I'm going to AAA and a, and there's 3000 people, this unit, it's a big unit. It's like a city that you live in, right? And I'm thinking myself, maybe 80% of the people in here have substance use issues, we could potentially have 2400 people at a meeting. I mean, we don't have enough guards for that. How are they gonna, we're room we're gonna do this in. I got to the

chapel of hope. That's where we held our meetings the next day. And I found out why it was held in chapel. 50 guys out of 2400 that should have been in there 50 guys were in that room. That's what I knew was in the right room. Right? When you're in the room that people voluntarily go to because they want to find a better way of living. That was the right room. So all these factors Randall of understanding servant leadership, understanding about the things you do and did not

control. There were only four things you can control.

But when you're where you're in the review process for parole, they can come anytime they want. Now, remember, I got sentenced to life in prison at seven years. I'm about to see parole for the first time, not aggravated nonviolent guy I'd never heard anybody ran. I can't stress it enough. The reason why they're letting me out. Part of it is because I'm not a violent guy. But the parole board said a day to see me. He said, You gotta go you gotta go visit with

him. It's gonna be fine. So I go there, Lady for parole calls me and she said, have a seat, Mister, where she said, sit down.

you think in your mind? So I go in there that day with the pro representative, this lady from parole, have a seat, Mr. West, she's got my criminal file in front of her. It's called your jacket, my jackets about this thick, it's your life story. It's every arrest every felony. And she's flipping through the pages of my jacket for about 20 seconds. She slammed it shut. She pushed the file away. She said Mr. West, I came here today to ask you one question for rural visit. It's a one question

test. The answer my question is going to determine whether or not you go home and stay in this prison. But the answer to my question is not in the file. But the guy I'm reading about who committed all those crimes in Dallas all those years ago. She said we don't get to see a lot of people like you come through our system. I'm gonna be honest with you because you had it all. She said you had every advantage, every privilege, every opportunity over everybody

else your entire life. She said, You're the definition of a privileged person in America. She said but you gave away all your privileges. You became a drug addict. You became a criminal. You become a thief, a jury and Dallas gave you life in prison for the things you did. She said your fall from grace, maybe the most spectacular fall from grace I've ever seen doing Sproul stuff. You had it all. But you change yourself inside this prison. Mr. West, she said there's no doubt about the

change you made yourself. She said no one's doubting that today.

all that. I'm putting my appeal to you. I wrote my own appeal. I got the attention from all of these lawyers in Texas. Fact is one law firm in Beaumont told me while I'm in prison, man, you did this great legal work for guys never been to law school. If you ever get out of prison, come see us. We got a job for you. So I'm appealing my case. But now parole is coming up. So my mom and I are putting together my parole packet. It's everything you're doing while you're in prison. The change

that you're making, right? All the classes that you're taking, I took every class I could in prison Randall. I got involved in everything, everything. I want them to see this guy that's working on changing himself. I took every class every chapel class, I did correspondence classes I could do I got a college degree so I can't take any bachelors classes, you know, but I took the HVAC trade class I became certified in HVAC. I'm not going to fix your AC. Don't worry, but

were in prison. You're one of the richest guys they're just one visitor years all you need to be a rich guy in prison. Somebody love you, right? I had one every weekend pretty much, you know. So the lady for parole was like I said, she's gone over this whole thing. She said so here's my here's my question for you. She said and think think art give us some thought. Sansar is important. If you can be remembered for being anything in life, anything at all? She said,

Tell me what that would be. But but but give it to me and just one word. Go. Randall. I've been living that word the entire time. I've been in Britain and I knew the answer question fighter answer back at her without hesitation. useful. I just want to be useful. And because I think every human being wants to be useful. Don't be random. Every single person wants to feel like they have value to add to society. That's when I think you want to fix America. Make everybody figure out how they're

useful again, right? Figure out what your worth is. And that's what I told her. I said, Ma'am, I just want to be useful. I can be useful inside this prison. I could use on the free world finding more coffee beans. And she dismissed me that day. She said alright, the parole board is gonna make a decision on you. They'll let you know as soon as they do have a great day, Mr. West,

earned this time. I didn't I gotta do the crime do the time, right. But if you say no, I didn't get too much time. They could say well, good sit here and do some more of that time. That right? That was a good sentence for us. They aren't just more of a license. So when she asked me the question, I told her, I said, Ma'am, I don't feel comfortable answering that question. I'm gonna tell you why I just gave her that reasoning. If I say yes, this if I say no,

that. She said, Well, I'm gonna tell you what I think I think you got too much time. And I was like, wow, that was an interesting admission from the lady from parole, right. But my crimes again, random or property crimes around meth, no one got hurt. A lot of people lost their property. I stole their sense of security. I was a bad guy. But I wasn't a violent guy. I was I was locked up with Werner murderers. I got eight years, you know, for murder. Eight years, I got eight times that.

But she's acknowledging you got too much time. One of the things I found out later on in life rental, when I got out of prison, went back to school, got a master's degree in criminal justice. And I became a professor at the University of Houston, who were asked by way, that's incredible. I'm the one professor on the planet to teacher prisons, classic University who lived in prison. That's it. There's only one guy has ever done that. But one of the things I learned is that

juries will. And I figured this out on my own. But I learned for fact, juries when they send us to people do a lot of time like that. It's usually one or two reasons or both. They're either very afraid of the person that they're sentencing, or they're very mad at the person, their sentencing. Jury was afraid to me, they were mad at me, the guy that had it all, and there's the guy on the phone being the mob boss, you know, so. But the lady did tell me she she felt like it

too much time. But she told me okay, we'll make a decision, we'll let you know. I'll tell you the date happened. I got the decision. So it was a Friday, May 1 2015. I work in the chapel. So for lunch, you can leave your job and go back to your cell and eat your food if you have some food in your locker or something like that. So I go back to the cell want to make a phone call. They got prison, they got day room phones

in the prison. So I call my mom up and I call my dad because usually on Fridays I'm calling to find out when they're gonna come visit me. And I call my mom up. She says, Hey, Damon, I got to talk to you about something. And she said, I just went to the parole website. They made a decision, you know, random immediately I'm like, because I don't think I'm gonna make parole, right. My mom look. Next year will be different. And I'll start apologizing and telling her look, I'm sorry, I didn't

make it. Next year will be different. Mama, I'll do better. I'll get this done. I'm gonna get out of here at some point. And she's like, Damon, the nightmare is over. You're coming home. You made parole. And I mean, random chills when you I mean, I got I mean, I got goosebumps now. I mean, first of all, I mean, I'm tearing up now. I start tearing out when she tells me this I might. I like Mom, go Don't play with me. You don't have to do this. I understand I didn't make it. So

Damon you made it. She said, you're going to come home. And, and the floodgates open I started crying. I started bawling like a baby man. Because I mean, shit. This is over. I'm gonna leave this place. Biggest mistake I can make. This is prison, man. Everybody's watching you all the time. One thing you can't do in prison is cry. You can't show its weakness. There's predators everywhere, man. And I just realized I made the biggest mistake. I'm on this phone call

and I'm bawling like a baby. And so I started trying to straighten up, you know, get all the tears out of my face. And I'm like, Mom, I'm gonna go, I'll call you later, I hang up the phone and I leave the cell and go back to the chapel and go back to work. I get to the chapel and talk to the chaplain and the couple guys who work with the chapel man. They're all happy for me. Everybody's praying and stuff like that. That's it guys. Look, I really

screwed up. The day room I made this call and I started crying. They're like, Oh, no. Here's the deal. If you make parole in prison, in Texas, you cannot get any more trouble. They'll take your parole from you. And if you get into a fight that's caught by a guard. There's no legal fighting in prison, both people to get into fights the same. Whoever hit first doesn't matter. It's a major case. You have to do it in front of a

guard. Now, if someone's got a beef with you, if someone's got a grudge against you, and they find out you make parole, they know they've got a limited amount of time to come get you. So every enemy I've made whether intentionally did it or just did it on the way because I'm just super positive guy that runs around you know, with a smile on his face being a coffee bean. You can make a lot of enemies that way to the guys aren't gonna know how you gonna go back to the pod? I was like I don't

know what am I going to do? This and we got to make up a lie for you. I'm in the chapel. Right we're gonna make up a lie. That's

point. So it didn't matter right so the count was the yells the count was a blows I go back to my pod and walking just kind of stone faces stone faces I can I go to my bunk, and I'm gonna get my shower stuff. I'm gonna take a shower and go back to my bunk I'm just gonna hide out. So I'm getting my shower stuff on my bunk in threes. Aryan Brotherhood guys are coming to my bunk. Covered man. And one of the guys got a grin on his face. Hey, hey, West. Congratulations and make a parole. Parole What

do you talk about man? I said, and he said, You're crying the day room won't go. Oh man, my grandma died. You know, it's terrible. Man. My grandmother at nine years old passed away. Through knock it off, man. He was saying one of the other other Aryan Brotherhood guys was sitting the day room, saw me crying, gets on the phone calls his mom says Hey, will you check Damon west out on the pro website because anybody can check you out. Right? And found out I'm a parole? He says so we

already know about it. Everybody knows about the whole unit. Here's the deal. You can't leave your cell West. They're gonna, somebody's gonna get you at this point. We don't know who it's going to be. But people are gonna come after you can't leave your cell. How much food do you have in your locker? And these guys weren't coming to get me they were coming to help me. So I start pulling out my food that I have. I got two weeks before the person was gonna come get

me. We know that prison was gonna give gonna give me because I've gotta go. I've got a six month program. I gotta go to it. This minimum security prison. It's a it's got in prison therapeutic community IPTC. It's a drug treatment community. And they're gonna send me to that for six months before I actually walk out of prison. And so we started inventory my food and I'm breaking it. I got in prison. I got my diet under control. Now I'm eating tuna

fish. I mean, macro. Instead of sunflower seeds, oatmeal with no sugar. I mean, I'm in the best shape of my life at this point. Now, Randall, I'm in boxing shape. So we're back. We're sitting there breaking it out. And we break out to what it could be every day for two weeks. And I said, I think I got it guys. And the guys are like, Listen, if you don't have enough food, come get one of us. We'll give you some food. Don't go to the chow hall again. Do not go to the chow hall. Charles

dangerous for you. Don't go to the rec yard. Go to your job every day at The Chapel and come right back. Take a shower, get your bunk stay here. So that's what I did for the next two weeks. I didn't go back to the rec yard again. I didn't go to the chow hall again. I can't tell you what they serve for any meals for the last two weeks. I was in prison. I rationed out my food and ate out of my locker. Thursday night. It was a I think it was May 14 Thursday May 14.

The guards coming now remember I'm in a prison that's just a few miles from where I grew up. Some of the guards that are locked up with me play football with me in high school that grew up with me. You know these get these people know me man. I'm I'm from the area and I was a football star. So the guard working to do that night was a guy I played football with in high school man. He comes up and he's got this red bag and his red bags are the column your

chain bags. That means you're going somewhere in a trip He walked up to my cell. It got a little cubicle I live in. He walks up and he drops the chain bag on my bed. He said this bag for you West. You're getting out of here in the morning. You're on the transport bus transport bus get out of here. He said, everybody knows I just dropped that bag off. He said, bag your stuff up, and I'm getting you out of here and I'm gonna put you in hiding right now. So he said, get this bag filled up.

Let's get you out of here. Let's get your stuff in return. So I managed to load my stuff up. He escorted me out. I walk out. And I spend the night in this holding cell area right. The next morning, the prison buses there to get me there escorted me and it's a different guard now because shifts change different guard. They're escorting me out. And this one guy is running across the rec yard at me. Well, I do. He's coming for me. And the guards are like on point. But am I

well, we'll wait. Wait. That's my buddy. This support. So what was one of my cellmates I had in prison is this black Muslim guy, different Black Muslim guy than the guy in Dallas County Jail, right? Support. Man, this guy was like a brother to me. In fact, he's still like a brother. I was just talking on the phone all the time in prison. I still talk to Carlos I swore. I talked to all these guys put money in their books every month. I take care of them. I'm like their

family now. But that day in 2015 supports running across the rec yard. And I'm like, Man, can I go to my brother goodbyes, man, make it quick West. Do not let anything happen to you. I gotta get you on this bus. So I run over there and suborders like, man, he's out of breath. He's like, he hugs me. And it's very emotional. You know, we're both crying. And he's like, Man, I'm really happy for us and she get to leave us to go home. He said,

but I need to know something. He said, Are you going to talk about what you talked about when we were in this prison together when we were soulmates? What's the board was asking is what I was going to talk about the stuff that I learned when we were soulmates in prison, when I when I learned from savour about things like racism, about social justice, about the disparities in the system, right that I explained a while ago. He's like, are you going to talk about that when you get out of

here? And then like, so before when I get on my feet, man, I will, you know, and I had a good job waiting for I had a job at a law firm. They're gonna hire me, right? The second day, I'm out of prison. I go work at a law firm. But my parents are waiting for me the job the law firm is waiting for me. And I'd like to bore when I get on my feet, I will man I promise it will. And man, he looked at me his words hit me right between the eyes, Randall. He looked at me and he

said, Good. He said sometimes they lock up the right guy. And I'm like, What do you mean by that support? What do you mean the right guy? He said, Look at you, man. Why middle class well spoken to parents waiting for you got a job at a law firm. He said, You're going to change the world. People are going to listen to you, man. You got to talk about what's in you. And you can't forget this place when you walk out of here. I've never forgotten that random. I've never that's why I still go into

prisons. That's why I still do it. I do. But he said sometimes they lock up the right guy, man.

In 2024. I go all over the world sharing my story. People hire me to speak all the time. I'm one of the most in demand speakers in America. But when damn one of the best, by the way. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. They appreciate that. Whenever I started this thing, I was escorted into high schools and rotary clubs by a cop or a judge man. The first time ever spoke I had a picture of it that a show sometimes. Is this at risk. Does that risk kids at Port Neches groves High School and right

behind me is this big judge. He had to be with me. They couldn't leave me on escorted, right. There weren't a lot of places for me to speak. But I knew I had to get better at speaking. I had to figure out I've never spoken before. I didn't have any teacher coach. I had a mirror. It was in my parents spare bedroom. I lived in my parents spare bedroom. The first two years was out of prison, right? I mean, think about this for a second. I'm 40 years old. I just got out of prison. I'm on parole

for the rest of my life. I got a job at a law firm making just above minimum wage. And I live in my parents spare bedroom. That would have been a hell of a Tinder profile, wouldn't it? We're eligible guy. I don't know what you ladies swiping on that guy right? But I wouldn't on Tinder I wouldn't have the day I was so afraid of all that stuff. And so but every night for two years and I wasn't speaking somewhere I was practicing my presentation from that mirror

and my parents were bedroom. I got into my reps, anything you want to be good at in life rental, getting any reps. You don't just step into the podcast booth doing your reps, right? You get your work in you practice, right? You get good at what you do. So I practice the presentation and I really thought I was supposed to be speaking in the world of college football because I played college football. The problem was it's been 20 years ticket snap. These coaches don't know

me. I don't know them. But a buddy of mine in Houston calls me up. It was December, no January 12 2017 14 months out of prison. And he said, Hey, man, get to Houston. Houston, 90 miles away, is the Bear Bryant Kochi award. They're getting the best coach college football the eighth best coach in this room. He said Ah sneaky. I got an extra press pass worship media. So man, I drive 90 miles from Beaumont to Houston approximate Oh, elevator pitch. What am I tell these coach when I meet

him, right? He sneaks me in, I'm running around, I got I got my best hammer down suit on I'm running around shaking their hands. All these coaches at USC, Wisconsin, Penn State PJ Fleck, they're all in this room. And I go up and meet these coaches and I shake their hand and I give them a pitch of why they should bring me in to talk to their team. And every coach I meet at night, slammed the door, my face, they're all telling me no, I'm getting beat up in this room. In one hour. I've been

told no seven times. There's only eight coaches in the room. I gotta know every eight minutes that night. Now I'm in the corner Toyota Center. I'm waking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself and the voice in my head is screaming at me. Go home. What are you doing here, Damon? The voice in my head is telling me I'm an imposter. I think everybody listening can feel like they were an imposter sometime. Right? Everybody's heard the imposter voice before.

But man you know what? I could do it a long time ago Randall listening to myself. And I don't think anybody should listen himself because the voice in your head could be fear talking to you. You don't want to listen to fear fear is a liar. And that last coach is gonna tell you no to your face and you're going home. Last coach heart has got to get to the room. His team just beat Alabama two nights before for the national

championship. Everybody's trying to get a piece of this guy's time but I'm not leaving till he tells me no rental. So I stopped Dabo Swinney run that room. And I look like a nut man, like, I'm hot and hot and fake plants trying to ambush that. But when he walks by, and weavin and other people that security sees me, man, they're gonna throw me a Toyota Center. Pretty soon. They're chasing me around this room. I finally get in front of Dabo I give him my best stuff for my 60 seconds and I come up

for air. And that was like, get a card on you, man. So I gave him a card. He snatched it from me. He said I'll check you out. He's gone. Well, that's a no looks like a no feels like a no. But I felt good about that. No, you know what, that no representative for me, me leaving it on the field man. That's what I learned in sports or what Muhammad said you don't have to win all your fights. You got to find out your fights. anybody's ever worked a sales job. You knock on every door,

you make every call. That's when your day is over. And I went home and slept like a baby forgot about that night. Four months later, I get an email from the director of football operations at Clemson guy named Mike Dooley. My do is email said hey Damon coach Sweeney, Michoud award show in Houston. He'd love to have you come talk to his team. Do you have August 1 open? I'm like Mike, I got every first open. I got nothing going. I'm still talking to a mirror man.

So August 1 2017. I go speak to the Clemson Tigers defending national champs college football. And when I get done my presentation night Dabo was in my face and I don't know if you ever seen Dabo on TV man. He's as advertised. He's hired I need to hook you in Dabo loves what I need to do. We'd love to we'd love to meet Dabo I'll make the I'll make the introduction today. So Dabo is in my face man. Campbell's like man I've never heard a story like that

before man. He said if you've been to Alabama to talk to their football team, I'm going oh man.

Everybody's telling everybody you got to do this got story got your story about the coffee bean. But the real magic of my life was yet to happen. It was one year after their presentation at Clemson. And I get a phone call out of the blue in August of 2018. And on the other end of my phone, it's this guy named John Cornyn. John Gordon, the energy bus guy, I follow John on Twitter man, he's my inspiration. And I'm like, John, I know who you are, man.

How do you know who I am? He said Dabo Swinney is I just got done speaking to Clemson football team, and I'm in the office of Dabo afterwards and for 30 minutes. Dabo tells me your entire life story. He said he told me to sway the coffee bean. John said Daymond The world needs a coffee bean message statement. Let's deliver this message to the world. He said when you write a book with me, we'll call it the coffee

bean. The summer of 2019 10 years Watch our furniture this toy from a hobbit in a jail cell on Dallas County Jail. The book the coffee bean comes out ran on it took the world by storm. It was a best seller here in America for like four to six weeks. Guess a global publishing deal starts showing up in every language in the world, Chinese, Spanish, Arabic, French, Italian, German, Korean, Vietnamese. And then in 2020, a global pandemic hits the entire world becomes this pot of

boiling water. And now the entire world search for a message to get them through it. The coffee, my life took off like this. I can't even explain to you mean, this is an entrepreneur podcast too. I go from, you know, making $150,000 a year speaking to making a million a year then 2 million a year then 2.8 million a year speaking going on stages and sharing this message all over the place because the world needed the message. Right? Right

message right time. But it all goes back to that one night use in Texas that January 12 2017 When I had those seven noes, and I almost walked out the door because the voice in my head told me I wasn't good enough and told me to leave told me didn't belong in that room. Randolph, I'll walk out that door that night. We're not having this conversation day. The world doesn't have the coffee mess and I tell people all the time, don't quit. You don't give up.

You don't not ask you quit. The only question you know the answer to in life is the one you don't ask. That's a no every time right. Wayne Gretzky May said it best you miss 100% of shots you do not take. Take your shots in life, man. First

to do the tough work. But every intern and most young professionals, even people who are successful don't have the guts to go up to someone at a conference. And you know, these are people who are very famous people, right? This is Coach of the Year there's a circle around these people. Yeah, right. So you got to you got you got three to five seconds, maybe 10 Max to go in and do your pitches. People are afraid to do this. They're afraid. What's your

direct message? If you look into the camera, and you tell everybody, you're a college student, you're young professional, there's a CEO over there, you know, you haven't met the CEO before, we haven't had the founder the company. Look in the camera. This is how I made my career. And this is how you made your career. But but tell everyone what the message Aerith

day? Is it one of those days, right? Because if it's not one of those days, that my day is just not that great. I can turn this thing around pretty quickly, right? I just got to change the way I think about the day in front of me. When I'm in the room that night at Euston, Texas, I had survived prison. I've been through something way worse than this. But I took the time to apply the perspective because if I don't apply that perspective at night, the odds of me succeeding is so daunting.

I'm going to walk out that room and listen to the voice of fear in my head. But I stopped and I applied it per second with Daymond. This isn't a bad day this even if this guy tells you no, it's just a no, it doesn't hurt. It's not like you're getting beat up in the day room again, define what your bad days look like and compare your days to those days. Now. Also, it's your mindset. It's always about you, it's never going to be about you is never going to not be about you because what I'm

saying it's your mindset. It's like a John Gordon talks about this. Some days you're sitting in traffic and the traffic bothers you, right? Some days you sit in the same traffic and it doesn't bother you at all. Is it the traffic or is it you? It's always you. It's always your mindset that you're in and the situation you're in. You've got to control. There's only four things you have control. You control what you think. You control what you say. You control what you feel, and you

control what you do. And if it's not one of those four things, you don't control it, but you have to feel Because within things you can't control and let go the things you cannot control.

there. You could learn a lot from rock bottom rock bottom is a good place to build a new life form. It's a great foundation. So he's talking about what makes people successful. One of the things that's made me successful is my preparation. Yeah, extreme preparation is a term that I've coined and I'm going to write a book on that I am writing a book on that. You talked about practicing in front of the mirror your speech, and I've heard your speech even today. You're articulate, I mean, you

got it down. It's motivational. How important is extreme preparation been to your success? And what's your advice to people who say, okay, you know, I got a speech, I got a corporate presentation, I'm going to meet with my boss, you know, winging it for 1015 minutes. 60 minutes. Yeah. So, extreme preparation. You're the best at it. You could write a Master's class on it. In fact, you should do a masterclass on it. Sometimes I'll take it, because you're very prepared.

something, I do it. But a big thing in life is doing what you say you're gonna do. You know, your word matters. Your your character matters. That's the that's a big thing. Another thing in life is relationships. Relationships are everything. Randall. I'll tell you another story about relationships. Go back to that story with Dabo. And John, I was with Dabo a couple months ago, he came to see my new house that I just built, because I call it the

house Dabo build. I got the John Gordon pickleball court and a house it never asked about pickleball Yeah, so but Dabo came to my house and he was just blown away what my wife and I have done and I had a bunch of people there waiting to meet Dabo all the people we help out in the community. You know, the the youth sports programs that we sponsor and all this other stuff, because it Dabo believing in me, I believe in you, right? And so I fly back with Dabo to Clemson at night. And he's on

the plane. He said ever. He said Have I ever told you the story about that day that John and I were in the office? I told him for the first time. I was like, No, I've never heard your side of this just that John called me that day and said I was with Dabo. He said yeah, Damon he says so John gets done speaking the team, we go into the office and I pull my keys out of my pocket, throw my keys on the

table. Now I've given Dabo a little wooden coffee bean keychain the year before just as a little memento and say thank you I didn't have much money. These little wooden coffee bean keychains weren't much the internet, gave one to him and gave one of his ops guy Mike Dooley, right? That will pulls out his keys. And those who want to table John Gordon's eye catches that wooden coffee bean keychain. John said, Hey, man, what's that thing on your keychain? Dabo said, Oh, that's

a coffee bean man. He said you know the story, the coffee bean John's like, No, I've never heard this already. Coffee. Well, we just had a guy named Damon West, come talk to our team. Let me tell you the story of Damon West and tell you the story. The coffee me if I don't get to have oh, that coffee bean keychain. We're not having this conversation today. But I wanted to build a relationship with Dabo. So I want to show gratitude and dab of what he did. And it doesn't have to be

something big man. It could be just like, you know, how do you show gratitude? How do you build a relationship? And some of the relationships This is to your interfaces to everybody, man, some of the relationships you want to build a life, you're gonna have to build to build them from a place of less than zero. Not everybody you call call up for podcasts wants to do a podcast with you. Right? Right. I

for your company. They weren't your same logo, but then I'm there anymore, because they were so bad. But they burn bridges everywhere they went right. But people don't want to maybe your sales at door to door salesperson D to D Right? And how many people have a negative interaction every negative mindset have a preset bias of salespeople, right? You've got to find a way to build a relationship from a place of less than zero, and it can be done. I know it can be done. I'm

an ex con Randall. You think people are just dying to hang it? You think people are dying or the next con when I got out of prison know how many ex cons that came before me have burned it to the ground because of their behavior after they get out of prison and go back to prison about 85% in the first three years right There's a number for that called recidivism. I had to build bridges and roads that weren't there. For an ex con like me.

Now I go into fortune 100. I go into masterminds, I go into schools, athletic departments, college and pro. But I had to start from a place of less than zero to do most of that. You can do it too. Everybody can build a relationship with somebody in front, you just got to be willing to put in the work.

about? I said, Would you pay for a meeting with someone who you want to meet? You know, what are you talking about? I said, Okay, you prepare for that job interview for 10 hours, 20 hours, you write the cover letter, you do this, you do that. And it may go in the trash. But you can send them a little trigger. You're not bribing them for something, but maybe we sent them. Some guy came in, want a job bombed the interview, knew he bombed it.

And then he sent me a letter with a little Michigan leather football. They said, I am really sorry, I blew it. I want a second chance. I knew that day that I was hiring that guy. Wow. Just like that. Wow. And it's just like that he's not bribing me. He probably spent $25 on this football. But I became his boss's mentor. I pay him a salary to put food on the table right? And it's like people people don't do this. Here's one

was crazy. So my friend Luke, hockey league player didn't make it to the pros played in the minors. I was 26 years old, comes out doing commercial real estate. Now this is during pandemic is booming. You can't get a warehouse and he's a guy just making cold calls. No one's calling me back. I said sent me how much are you want to spend for a meeting? So what are you talking about? And I said, Let's make a personal r&d budget that you're going to spend $1,000 is $2,000 I'm going to use that

money to get immediate. He's still again, people kind of wrap their head around. This is a new concept. And I said, Alright, here's what you're gonna do. You know, would you pay 50 bucks for meeting? Would you pay 25 bucks that I don't know. I said, Let's settle on. 50 bucks. Okay. You're going to go to Starbucks. You're gonna get half on a coffee and a basketball and get two mugs. Or you're gonna start FedExing these to people with a

nice note. I'm Luke. I love to sit down and have a cup of coffee with you better in person.

conference. She found that she does an amazing job. But they had and they had everybody there from in the political spectrum. They had Boris Johnson, Hillary Clinton. They had William Barr. They had Dana Steve Aoki, Mark Wahlberg, they had biohackers I mean, it was one of the best conference I've ever been to. And I And Kelly was on my show said hey, love your show. You want to go interview someone on stage. I've never interviewed anyone on stage. I've got my podcast. She likes it. So go on

stage interview, Dana. He cries on my show. People love it. And my son's a huge UFC fan. So when we're done, you know I said hey, we you take a video for my son, Charlie shoots a video. Hey, man, Charlie, I can't believe you No, you don't delay come here. But I'll tell you what I'm going to do. You can pick whatever fight and your story. Yeah. Isn't that my story, which is amazing. So I said, Dana, will you do my show me? So he does my show? It took 11 months.

But you know, he finally did my show we did a few years ago, the episode came out, I think, a month ago, and I want to do something really nice for him. And so that I Hickerson, my right hand guy superstar, says, Alright, here's what we're going to do. And he finds Dana, his addiction that his love of fighting, professional fighting came from boxing, marvelous Marvin haggard, and sugary luxury, biggest fights in the history of boxing. And he saw us

on TV and it lit them up. So we got him a sign ticket stalled by both of those guys. Well, from way back when I was 20 years old, something like that. And we gave it to him. I gave it to him as a thank you after you did my show. And it's these really special guests. And yes, it was expensive. Yeah, it was very expensive. But Dana has been a great friend brought value to my life. But I think he's a great guy. I've learned a ton from him. And I was very grateful

that he did my show. I knew it was gonna help me professionally. And it really has. Yeah, so that's incredible. People People got to be thoughtful. Don't just send you know, something. Generic. Great. Alright, let's talk about amazing people. So you got John Gordon, who calls you up out of the blue. And he actually got you on a book deal, and gave you some financial percentage that he didn't have to do.

John's like whoa. He said Daymond love God, show me the cover the book already. Your name is on it. Let's listen to God. Let's do this book together. He said, Look, I'll tell you what, I split a thing with you. 5050. And at the time, John, and John's got a much bigger book deals now. But at the time, that book deal, he got $100,000 advance for the book. Yep. He said to look, you do it with me. I'll give you half the advance and we'll split all the profits 5050 From here on out.

And so we turned the manuscript in, I got my check in the mail for $50,000 and came in my, my, my then girlfriend, but now wife Kindle, when the check came in, in 2019. For $50,000. She's I know what you're about to do with that. So yep, I've been looking forward to this and call my parents up. I said, Hey, you're gonna live with Ken all the time. We just We just got our first house and it's more money than I've ever seen,

right? I mean, it's a $50,000 check to me, call my parents up and said, Hey, you're gonna be home. I gotta, I gotta bring something drop it off. They leave about 10 minutes away. My dad's like, yeah, we're coming home. When I was going to my trial, my parents who had made a colossal error in life made a lot of bad choices. They still remember mom said she loved me unconditionally. They cashed in their retirement, they cashed in 50,000 hours. My parents didn't make a lot of money. They ran

out. They didn't make a lot of money at all. But they spent exactly $50,000 on my legal offense. And when I got out of prison, I told him, I pay him back and give him like, $125 a month at that point, to try to pay back. I'm think I've paid back $3,000 The entire time. I've been out of prison. But I drove over the house that day, and my dad's like, Hey, man, thought she had some. Where's it? Pull that check out? I gave it to him. He started crying,

man. He's like, Damian, I don't know what to say I would ever see this money again. I said, my mom told me debts meant to be paid. Oh, you're the debt. There's your 50,000 back. John Gordon gave me the ability to repay my parents that money back. In fact, when my dad died last year, one of the best things I can tell you random about that experience is that there's no regrets. He got to

see me turn it all around. And then one of the last things he asked me to take care of your mom and I'm building my mama house now, you know, I

is bigger than my prison. So but that's how great life is but but one thing was incomplete in in John and we've hooked up we've done three books in the coffee bean one is a kid's book too, and it's been very successful. John has believed in me man, John's like my god man, my mentor, I wouldn't be where I am without John Gordon. If John and John will tell you this, if I need Daymond pick up the phone i'll call if you call him anything. He needs him there,

right. One of the things I was big on my list to do because we were talking about these different things, and I was talking about relationship building and doing what you say you're going to do telling your interns and people in college that everybody in general with the qualities to live by integrity and accountability are so big, right? Integrity is who you are when no one else is watching and accountability. Man, that's that's hard to find

in America right now. Because true accountability looks like this when we weren't just in the 12 steps, you make a mistake, you own your mistake, and then you change the behavior that caused the mistake. So we're not making the same mistake over and over again, because people get tired of seeing that, right. So one of the things I had to do when I got out of prison was fun, Muhammad, right. I kind of find this guy, you know, I've got these books, the coffee bean, this message has come out.

So I get out of prison. 2015 I go to Dallas County Jail and said, Hey, I'm trying to find my friend Muhammad. That was kind of yell was real nice about it. They're like, that's his Muslim name. Randall. I don't know what his real name is, right? Muhammad Ali, used to be a Ghanaian Cassius Clay Right? When a person converts to Islam, they get rid of their real name take on a Muslim name. The only name he told me he went by was Muhammad. But I can't find

Muhammad by Muhammad. They're like, we need a real name or birth date. So I had to hope that one day he would find me and here's how he finally found me. Two years ago, I get a letter from an inmate the Texas Department criminal justice Randall I get a lot of letters from inmates now. Men and women that are incarcerated American prison system all over. They all write me because you know who I am to every man and woman in prison hope I'm Hope. I'm the dream. They can touch the dream

that they see Damon with. I'm anti new frame from Shawshank and new frame was hope that's what the whole movie about Shawshank is hope man. And I love my role was Andy man, I write all these inmates back but this letter was different. There was no return address and one sentence. Fun James Lynn Baker, and you find Muhammad that's the clue. It took me seven years to get that clue, right? Go to Dallas get a private investigator. First thing we found was his criminal record.

And it matched everything he said in county jail in and out of prison his entire life. All we got to do is find his current address. I go see my friend again. But we couldn't find his current address random because James Wan Baker, the second Muhammad. He died on May ninth 2017 and Dallas, Texas have an opiate overdose. He's a drug addict, just like me. But he never got to a program recovery

never made 12 steps. There's a lesson there to Randall, this guy said on the coffee message his entire life, but he could not apply it in his own life. You could sit on all the knowledge and information in the world. You could read all the best self help books. But if you can't apply the knowledge, the knowledge does you no good if you can't apply the knowledge. So now that I knew who he was, as a private investigator, go

find his family. I said I gotta honor this guy somehow because random we all know I'm not here without him. Right? Dale? That old man told Mr. Warren County Jail. So we found his family. He's got three living sisters. One of his sisters was the first Dallas Cowboy cheerleader ever this woman named Vaughn steelmaker black woman 1972 First Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Yeah. Vaughn steel Baker, you can look her up. So there was a Texas Monthly story about it

that Piaf found. So he's got three living sisters vicia Vaughn, CO and Vanessa Baker, call these ladies one night, I'll tell them a story about the time that I met their brother in county jail. The message he gave me and what I was able to do that message both in prison out of prison. And I told his sisters I said, I don't know what your feelings are about your brother choice he made in life. But let me tell you something about your brother that I know that you don't know.

Your brother impacted at least one person when he was on this planet. Me. And I'm gonna impact the entire planet with the mess she gave me. I said, what high school did y'all go to growing up because I got an idea how to honor your brother. You know, when James and I were in County together, he told me from the poorest, most inner city urban part of Dallas, and the sisters confirmed all that they said Dallas Lincoln was the name of the high school they went to Dallas Lincoln's interesting.

Did you get Dallas that's South Dallas Randall. That is inner city, inner city of Dallas, right? So I said, Great. Here's what I want to do. Every year for the rest of my life. I'm putting $10,000 into a trust for a scholarship and your brother's name. We'll call this thing that James Lynn Baker the second be a coffee bean scholarship. And I would love it if your family pick that winner every year. So every year one little boy or one little girl that grows up in

South Dallas. They get a better chance at life to an education because these two guys met up in county jail back in 2009. Randall the sisters took me up on it and now we've picked two winners of the scholars. One of the winners was a little girl named Megan. Megan's mother's a school teacher. Her dad's a

disabled veteran. Megan sit in classes at Texas a&m Right now Megan is going to be an engineer one day found a film Hamid Randall took seven years to find this guy took seven knows that night in Houston he gets the first yes I needed in life right with Dabo Swinney took seven years to get out of a prison took me seven years to turn all those nodes into a yes that night in Houston, Texas with

Penn State now coming up. Life is about getting a lot of nose man and getting turned down some of your goals are gonna take longer than others but you can't quit you cannot give up before the miracle happens. There's

very close. Yeah, they're very close. So it didn't happen right then Dabo Sweeney becomes friends with him and adds on his story talking about his daughter goes to Clemson graduated. And so he's like, he's he's on the story saying I'm going to see Bella at Clemson. I'm going to meet Dabo Swinney Why call Dabo damn Oh, man. And by let's go to talk to you when you talk to Ed about me and see if I get on the show. To have Oh, calls me up

that night. Hey, man, I'll talk to Ed I think is gonna happen. Still didn't happen yet. But um, I keep persistently sending Ed videos and stuff like that. Hey, Ed, let's come on. Here's what I want to talk about stuff like that. DMS DMS. DMS? Yeah, dude, I don't have a cell phone number. Yeah, so. Yes. Yeah, I haven't. We're friends now. So he's a great guy. He's a great years.

So, um, but may 18 2020, to sit down with cross from Ed my lad. And man, that podcast was revolutionary for me. I mean, it plugged me into put me into a world people I didn't know that didn't know me. Millions of people listen to that podcast. And I think the first day I got 1000 DMS my speaking business took off like that. So many people that listen to Ed's show,

bring speakers in. And of course, they heard the story, man and you sit there and listen to story and you're like, man, it's there's not a lot of stories out there that have the amount of lessons that are in this story right here, right? Because the place where I had to learn these lessons from it's the place that people are most curious about to write. I mean, people love stories that have certain elements in it, right? We love stories about overcoming adversity. We love the underdog

journey, right? We love sports stories. Sports, a great sport sells American sports, the great united in this country. We love stories about prison. I got them all. Here's why we love stories about prison random, because you can't go into a prison. There's only two ways to get into a prison either work at the prison or you live in the prison. And so people love prison stories. And if you have those elements like that, like I have in my story, it opens people up to a

whole world. Think about the things we talked about here today. I talked about, you know, crime and punishment. We talked about race and disparity, we had conversations here that you don't see people having a lot of times, right. But there isn't a way to have it in it's when you have a vehicle like this to have it on. That's why some horses sometimes I block up the right

guy. Because here's this guy, you know, I went into an environment as a white guy, white middle class guy that I've never seen before and opened my eyes with so many things. I was a sober observer, and a listener and a learner while I was in there. And I saw a lot of things that I'll never be able to unsee and I wanted people to take me serious to the point that I went out and got a master's degree in criminal justice. So I wouldn't just some guy that went to

prison and got out. Let me tell you what I learned in prison. No, I'll go become educate you come Professor West, and I'll tell you all about it, you know. So it's about putting the work. I

how you got to me. That's how I got to so I DMDs so crazy. I was crazy. So I've never I'm gonna I'm gonna get done. That blows me away and now and now we're good friends. Yes. on my show, and John has become a very good friend. In fact, when Dave and I leave here today, John Gordon is playing pickleball at my house right now. And we're gonna go play pickleball with John and John's a mentor to me as well. And it's been, it's been great. He's been very helpful to my

show. Before I finished today, I want to go ahead with one answer questions. Fill in the blank to what I call it. The biggest lesson I've learned in my life is

being a father. I'm going to stepfather because I have a stepdaughter. And yeah, so I don't know if I could just sum it up to one thing it's just being a family guy is opened me up to a lot of fun, funny things in life. It's been fun.

happen. To have my people that I know in this world with recording world, they know telephone people and they both get back to me individually said she's not me with anybody because the COVID stuff they just it was last year but COVID wedding going on. But she just wasn't meeting with people because she didn't want to get exposed to people. So I couldn't take her in in that. And we were in Nashville. I could take her to meet Taylor Swift. I was like, I'll make it happen. She's

on tour right now. My daughters are in Europe. I just graduated college. I'm going to meet them in Portugal and 10 days. They're flying to London next week to me, I tend not to meet her but to go to her concert. It's such a good show. Ya know, it's She's such a good entertainer man. She's the best she was my little stepdaughter and my wife were both in tears the concert every woman in the stands were in

tears. And it's just, I understand the drawl to Taylor Swift, one of my friends in life, and we recently became friends. We're not like best buds or anything like that was Andy Reed. And I did it with Andy Reed last week. And any son is a good friend Britt Reid is on as a good friend of mine. And Britt told me that his dad said a best compliment I could ever receive. His dad said I really liked him and a lot he thinks like quarterback. Cool was compliment right? That's a great

one. Oh, my God was so good now on Tom Brady college. Yeah, so so. But yeah, man. So being a husband and stepfather opens you up to a lot of stuff. Like I would burn up the meeting somebody on on Clara to meet Taylor Swift and someone dead. I want to go back and meet someone from ancient Egypt. In fact, I don't know how they did all they did. It had to be somebody from that time 30 35,000 years ago when because I don't think these things are like 4000 years old

pyramids and all that. Your Mr. Rogan, he talks about this sometimes now

threes. Yeah. Trescott. But did you ever think sitting in that darkest moment, and your God life in prison, you're never getting out to where you are today, Dream House by your mama house making $3 million a year being one of the most coveted motivational speakers in the world? And what's the message that people look in the camera and tell people what that message is? Yeah,

too low in life. And Randall I would also tell you this, that I know that in life, we get usually you get one chance in life, I've gotten an amazing second chance of life and I wake up every single day with a GET TO attitude. Like I get to do this for a living. I mean, I've got the I tell my wife every day I can't believe this in my life and I can't believe it because I get a chance to go out there and impact the entire world with a message that was given to me and

changed people's lives. I've seen people's lives get changed with the coffee message and it just it blows me away that I can be a conduit to that but you have to be open to be a conduit of that kind of stuff and share your gifts with others