¶ Intro / Opening
Sex is the number one and number two most pleasurable thing you can experience globally that it doesn't matter where you ask this question, it doesn't matter what language or what gender you're asking. It's number one. And number two, it's wild. My life has been a wild ride. I think I've lived two lifetimes, I'm still only halfway. There's a lot of haters. There's people out there who simply don't like different groups that don't like who you are, what you've chosen
to be, or do. I'm so excited because I'm like you to have a great sex life. And you're going to be happily married for a long time.
Welcome to In Search of Excellence, where we meet entrepreneurs, CEOs, entertainers, athletes, motivational speakers, and trailblazers of excellence with incredible stories from all walks of life. My name is Randall Kaplan. I'm a serial entrepreneur, venture capitalist and the host of In Search of Excellence, which I started to motivate and inspire us to achieve excellence in all areas of our lives. My guest today is
Brandy love. Brandy is one of the most famous and successful adult film actresses of all time, she has starred in more than 800 movies, and her videos have been streamed more than a billion times. She has been nominated for and won 12 adult industry awards and is the author of the book, getting wild sex from your conservative
woman. She is also the owner of traffic stop media and also owns a real estate business with her husband that renovates distressed properties and then either flips or keeps them. Brandy is a true pleasure to have you on my show. Welcome to insert of Excellent. Okay, so you were born in Dearborn, Michigan, the great state of Michigan? Where are you? As you know, I'm also from and you said you grew up in a normal family, a cool family with cool parents.
What were your parents like? And what kind of values do they instill as you when you were a kid?
I had a great childhood. I wouldn't say it was perfect. Very few people can. So that would be that would be unfair to say. But I was very loved. I was very cared for I was given every opportunity to learn to excel to be adventurous. Every athletic thing that I wanted to do, my parents supported me. So what kind of things athletically did you do? Well, I started ice skating when I was four years old.
What rink is you go to?
It's called the park Creek, okay, fled the park. And we would always skate. And I would have my little dual blades and pushing a chair. That's how it started. And I ended up ice skating until basically where I would have made the decision to go into the Olympics to train for the Olympics. You were that good. I was really good lessons that your parents gave you private lessons. I was the one skating at five in the morning before school. And I would go to
the rink after school. And the only thing that that deterred me from that was going into high school, boys, of course, and then sports. I wanted to play soccer. I wanted to play tennis, I ran track. And I did all of those things. So I probably my first passion was ice skating. And my issue was maybe lack of focus, but I loved everything. So I was good at almost everything I wanted to do. I was never great.
You were competitive, you wanted to win. You're still talking about that in a little while. But what was your dream when you were growing up as a kid?
Honestly, as a kid, the one I remember was being an Olympic ice skater. I still watch the figure skating aspect of the Olympics. So I still have a love for it. It was a huge part of my childhood. And it's I think it's what taught me discipline.
So you're in high school. You mentioned boys, you like boys? Was that a one of your primary focus days or did you have a lot of girlfriends? Well,
it wasn't no, it was never primary focus. I always remember having a boyfriend. I was a serial monogamous dater, I never dated, I'd have a date and then I would be in a relationship for six months to a year. Um, so that was that was a stability thing, I suppose. But I had a lot of friends. Well, my primary thing was athletics. I did well in school so that I could run track because we had coaches that if you didn't get a 3.2, or whatever the GPA was whatever grades you had to get, couldn't
run. And I was going to run fast. I was I was pretty quick. Um, actually, yes, pretty quick. So that was thank God for sports. That's probably how I got into college.
You went to Salem High School we played you Detroit Country Day. We usually got harassed this character Yeah, you were on the schedule, but it wasn't ever fair. I think we're class the school your class day. So better athletes bigger school. But when you when you were there, did you do things besides skate and go out with your friends was there was your focus you want it to be in life? Did your dreams change from when you were a kid and you no longer knew your wanted to skate?
Um, well, you know, it's funny. I still I skate. I still have my original ice skates from when I was a competitor. Same size foot. So I will still go just for fun it that's a passion that's never changed. You use the same skates. Yeah, they're they're like jeans, you don't get rid of them when they're perfectly there.
They're a few decades old. There are better skates today.
There are no bad they're still the best foods in the world best played. They just it's plastic. So I'll never get rid of them.
Okay, if you were focused on getting good grades you had over 3.2 Tell us about how you ended up at CMU. I know your mom went there. Your dad of course went to better School University of Michigan. Yeah. Ranger School on Earth. Yeah. What did? What was? What was the motivation to go to college? And what was the thought? When you were there? I know one of the things you said you said is you wanted to get a 3.5 and work out every day for two hours a day. You're a fitness not
Yeah, I still am. I love fitness as part of my life. But in college I was, I was probably a little bit too extreme. I'd really followed like muscle mag and I, I trained like I was a bodybuilder even though I had no aspirations of being a bodybuilder, I just love the look. And I love the discipline. I never had that foundation to get big enough to compete, I thought I was all big and tough and they're like, your puny, you're gonna get crushed. So thank God bikini modeling and
figure modeling came along. So that became more of a happy, healthy. And I didn't compete in college. Very quickly, I realized what I said earlier is that I was good at a lot of things that I wasn't going to be great. Knowing that I was like, okay, that's not going to athletics isn't going to pay for my life. That's not going to be a career for me. So that's where
the refocus became business. I took the passion part, and made it about business knowing that that would that would allow for a financially viable future.
You want to know, at some point to be a bodybuilder and we're building bulk at the time, we just do want to be trim, lean and mean,
all of it, which is impossible. What's the issue? So I was always balancing? What am I going for, I get to bulking. I didn't like that. Then I trimmed down and I'm like, oh, I need more muscle. I'm still kind of that way. I think that's a female thing. We're never satisfied.
You're focused on business. Then in college, you focused I think on Business Administration. You had another major but you didn't graduate.
I started with dietetics and sports nutrition. And three years in, I realized that was going to be not only extremely difficult to get accepted into the sports nutrition program at CMU, which was excellent. But the salaries were kept. I started a little late doing the research on what does this mean in five years? What does it mean in 10 years, and I was not happy with what I was seeing. So I went with the general business degree, which was a very wise move because they use it every day. And you
graduated. I finished up my final year at FAU. Okay, that's my husband and I got married and moved down to Florida.
Gotcha. And so let's talk about meeting your husband in college. What I know what you guys were up to where do you meet? And then what happened after that?
It's very cliche, and it's so funny today, but he was a bouncer and I was a bartender. That's how we met. And it grew approach to
who asked who out on the first day?
Well, I definitely let him know. I was interested. I mean, there was eye contact. And I didn't know what he looked like, except for from here down because it was a crowded room. I was on the dance floor with my girls. And I saw this gorgeous human being in the corner and I couldn't stop staring at him. And I'm like, I don't know who that is. But I have to find out.
And so it was week after week, I would go to this club, because I knew he'd be there and try to make eye contact and ask questions and it got back to him. And thankfully, he kind of did the head nod when I was on the dance floor and I'm like, okay, you know, I walk over there. It was instant. It was literally instant he gave me his phone number in a match box.
¶ Brandi Love’s background
Which like a true dork. I still have it was the beginning of the rest of my life to be fair.
What year in college did you guys meet in my first year, but you dated all four years.
You met a freshman? That's always difficult. He's three years older than me. Okay. I was the freshman just coming up and I'm and they're fairly for him. He was like We dated it wouldn't zero to 60. And he pulled back because, you know, I'm still getting my I'm still getting grounded in college and he's there. He's ready to go. We broke up for five or six months. Okay, like a lifetime. And you're still logged
in the hole. Yeah, I broke. You broke up with him.
He broke up with me. Okay, I remember crying Play, there was a family tragedy and we just, you know, things, we got separated. And we met in the hallway back at CMU. And it was like a double take. That was it. We were married like nine months later.
So from that point on through the rest of college, you had a monogamous relationship with your husband. And you never even thought about what you ended up doing. At that point. We're gonna get into that.
Jealous, so absolutely not. You're jealous.
When you talk to another girl that time you were like, Hey, man, I'm not. I'm not happy with that. Don't look at her.
Yeah, no, I didn't like that. And he was the same way.
Okay, so he graduated three years before you do. And then you go into the corporate world did a whole bunch of things. You're super motivated. You love business? Do you manage a bagel store? Did you work at a staffing agency, and then tell us about those jobs and then tell us about Harley Davidson.
The bagel stir was awesome. It was really, really fun. I hated getting up at four in the morning to let the baker in. But it taught again, taught me discipline, it taught me everything that college didn't to be fair. The real life stuff, keeping the books, getting employees to show up on time, I managed to all that doing bank drops and balancing the books and ordering product for the bagel store. I think I was 21. It was it was a lot but I loved
it. And I was recruited from that job by the staffing agency owner, who I just saw, basically, every day she'd come in for her bagel orders and like, Hey, I've been watching you. And I'm like, That's creepy. You've been watching me. It was a compliment my work ethic. And I was never not there. You know, I wasn't the one calling in you could always
count on me. She noticed. And she offered me a really great job that, again, took my business acumen to the next level because that was a hard, I was knocking down doors to get staffing for the staffing agency to get corporate businesses to take our employees. It was a lot of rejection. And it into my skin to be fair,
I do a lot of coaching. A lot of mentoring. I have interns every summer are usually between 32 and 36. They want to light up the world. And it's hard to get job with our program in the summer. I don't think there's one out there. I'm talking about the kids who work at Goldman Sachs. And that's their dream, but get up and get to work at four in the morning. I mean, that says tremendous amount about you. Why Why did
you do that? You must have been the only person in your class out of I assume 1000s of people who took a job at a bagel store getting in at four o'clock in the morning. You have to go to bed at what, seven o'clock eight o'clock at night.
In your 20s Do you really need I don't remember. But my you know, my husband didn't have a corporate job. So you know, there was a few years there where we were like chips the night and that was really hard on us. But I took the job. Because one we'd always have our evenings together. Here. His was more nine to five, Monday through Friday. He had some travel but it was stable. And by taking this management position one I loved the idea of being a
manager. I wanted to know what that was like I knew that I would obtain an tremendous amount of onsite education. And to as like, ooh, this was down in Florida. We moved to Florida right after we got married. I was excited to have the afternoons because I could go to beach layout. So I'm home at three o'clock, right everybody else is still 234 hours of work. And that was the motivator if I'm being honest. Go to the
beach. Yeah, get home early and have have an actual evening to do what I wanted with and just spend time with Chris
is interesting. Go to the bagel store. When I first moved to LA I lost my job. The only job I could get was in Costa Mesa and I drove I had to get to work. I usually would leave at 530 in the morning and I'd hit the bagel store first. I'd wait for the bagel to come out. Because the only thing open and I remember I get to Sesame Street bagels with cream cheese and by the time I got down to close to make the sesame seeds
would be in my teeth. Grow my car and nice to see Suge Knight debate at the bagel store three mornings a week goes with this dude. He would leave his Bronco wide open Bronco with the music blaring. He's gonna say anything. And and for the six months that I had that job I would see him but it's interesting. The first person you greet in the morning. That's your mood. That's true, right? Yeah. On my way here. I went to Starbucks. This guy David was at
the counter. I mean, he was just full of energy smiling excitement. I mean, it made me happier when I left the store. It's contagious. Sort of In Search of Excellence is brought to you by sandy.com s a n d e.com. We're a Yelp for beaches and have created the world's most comprehensive beach resource by catalog anymore.
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friends. So you must have had great people skills at a young age you are outgoing because no one's gonna recruit you to do an executive search job or a staffing job if you weren't great with people.
That's fair. And I would say naturally looking back I think I was more of an extrovert when I was younger than I am even now, which is weird considering what I do. Um, but you know, life do that too. Yeah, I was very young. While died. I love I still love people. But I definitely did have a zest for life. And for people and adventure. I'm a very curious person. So those things kind of get you into conversations with all sorts because you're, I'm open to hearing. I'm open to listening
and learning. I always have been.
You talked about calling people getting rejected all the time, I think getting rejected from cold calling skills, one of the greatest experience I ever had
me cry. Yeah, that one did. Yeah. And thankfully, my husband had done it as well. So he was tough as nails and he was like, You got this, you can do this. You have no idea how much this is going to help you later in life. And it's true. Everyone should have that.
Yeah. So it's funny you say that? Normally what I tell people is my dad told me something a long time ago. And he said, If you go up to someone 100 times, and the first nine people say no. And the 100 person says, yes, you'll forget about first 99 Now I say that I clean it a little bit. Yeah, sort of. I mean, I clean it a bit. But I was kind of a gawky, nerdy kid. And I remember I said there's this woman that I really liked. Her name was
Robin, Robin Bolton. If you're listening and I want to take her out, and she wouldn't go out with me. He said, hey, you know what? Go up to 100 Girls and said, Hey, do you want to have sex with me? And they all say No, you'll feel bad. But when the 100 girl says that she wants to have sex with you. Don't forget about the other 99 I've now told the story. I haven't whitewashed it and there's, there's the story. It's true. So all right, tell us about Harley
Davidson. And how you got there or do you like bikes or they just recruited you for a job your life?
I had a motorcycle? What kind of job I had. My first bike was a Kawasaki Ninja. My parents disliking Of course, I I was very much a tomboy. Yeah, and not, I don't. I always wear dresses, and I love girly stuff. But I also love to get on four wheelers and throw mud and and play the sports with the boys. And I don't know if part of my personality is if somebody says you probably shouldn't do that, or girls don't do that. I went
¶ Meeting her soulmate
Oh, really? And I would go do that. So you know, my grandmother wanted me to play the piano. I wanted the sex. Girls don't ride motorcycles. 17 years old, I bought my first bike. So I think there's a little bit of a rebellious streak. Just guess in me that that was just part of my adrenaline rush. It was exciting. It was fun. I didn't know any other women that had motorcycles. So I enjoyed that very much. And we had moved out to Colorado from Florida for
Christmas job. Well, actually, we're able to live anywhere because his job required travel. And we decided my father had taken us out to Colorado Springs to this beautiful retreat. And we fell in love with the area. And we moved. We came home to Fort Lauderdale. I'm packed up drove out west and lived in in Colorado, well part of Colorado in the springs that brighten the springs and that's where I got the bagel job. After about two years, we wanted to come back East. We're just east coast kids
to our core. It was beautiful. We had an adventure but we wanted to come back and I started looking at your listeners are gonna laugh because nobody does this anymore. But I was looking at help wanted ads in the back of a newspaper, or Raleigh for North Carolina specifically because in our minds, one Michigan, married and moved to Fort Lauderdale. Now we're out west. We're not going back to where we've already been. We needed something new smack dab in the
middle is North Carolina. Didn't know anybody didn't have family there. It just geographically made sense. So that's where we're gonna move and Um, I had some newspaper sent to me, I'm looking through the help wanted ads. And instantly my eyes light up. And what do you see is Harley Davidson is hiring. And even though it for position, it didn't matter. I circled that and I started calling. I was going to get that job. And I had like, Thanks for phone interviews, sent them my resume.
And they agreed to hold the job for me, because it was going to be about two weeks before I lived there. They held the job for me, and I had that job for years.
What was the job? And what were you doing? I was selling Harley's or you are working in a dealership. And you
¶ Going into the corporate world
would go and walk in, you'd have the Harley t shirt on or the black Harley jacket on. And no,
I just I just dressed like me. And they didn't have a uniform. It was a sales job. There were three or four of us on the floor. worked six days a week, they were open, I was there. Because if you're not there, you don't get the deal. And if I talk to you on Monday and knew you're coming back on Tuesday or Wednesday, if I'm not there, the other salesperson closed the deal. You didn't get a cut or split when that happened. You close it. That's how it works. So I was never afraid to work hard.
You said there were four salespeople on the floor. What was the male female ratio was
the only female interesting? There's a pattern here? Yeah. Well, I'm
curious to Harley riders, would they rather buy from a beautiful woman or Harley rider who works in the store?
Well, we would have to ask them to get to the bottom of it. But I was the number one salesperson for every month I worked there.
Amazing by her What what are you attribute your success as a salesperson to?
I didn't it did not. It did not work against me that I was the only female. But I also I was extremely driven. I knew the product. I love the product. And I was excited to sell them. I was just I was selling a dream. I mean, be honest. Anybody that walks into a Harley dealership already wants one. Yeah, they just didn't know they were gonna leave with one. That was my job.
What was the Commission on a bike back then, and you remember the average price because Harley's are very expensive bike.
They are and we sold ours for even more.
It was because you had a short supply. And people had to pay a premium
correct. And, and I worked for Edward for Ray price. Harley Davidson. He's a famous drag racer. So we really had a lot of perks. He got more bikes than most. So we actually had inventory. Everybody else was had on the list. Yeah, like you'd call for a Harley. And like, there's like 12 pages names, but we'll get you on the list, we'll take your 500 bucks, call you when it's ready. Our people, you come in the door, I'm selling you that bike, like you can have it today. There was
no waiting list. So it was um, I was I was just I'm motivated. And they were very smart in that like for the first 10 bikes, you sell a month you get $150 doesn't I mean, it was more than it's also little now. But it was a lot. But what I cared about was after 10 Because now you get 250 over 15, you would get 500. So my goal was to get to 15 as quickly as humanly possible so that every bite thereafter, I was making real money.
Everything we do is about sales. And I stress that to everyone I meet and mentor doesn't matter everything we do, from the Starbucks gentleman, David when I walk in the door to meeting someone on the street to managing people and to being managed as well. That's true. All right. So let's move on. I want to talk about now. You are at Harley, your husband is the youngest VP ever I think at a biotech company, 24 years old, and he's traveling all the time, 250 days a year, 150 days a year.
Yeah, the first like eight years was a tremendous amount of travel.
So walk us through your relationship with the time what you were thinking in terms of your long term plans, and then talk about how it took a little bit of a turn with a wet t shirt contest, I believe or something and and I really need to back up for a moment because I think at that point, you already had a daughter.
Yeah, the timeline. Whew. It's wild. My life has been a wild ride. I think I've lived two lifetimes. I'm still only halfway. We had, we've always had an exceptionally strong relationship. I mean, it's it sounds cliche, but I met my soulmate. There's no doubt in my mind that he was made for me and me for him. So even when things were difficult in the sense that he was gone a lot.
Um, we supported each other. I did what I had to do, he did what he had to do and when we were together, we were a family. You know, I I always saw him as highly motivated. He's incredibly intelligent. I mean, you don't get to be the VP of a biotech company at that age. Bye bye being lazy or incapable, and I was 24 years old, having board meetings with doctors and VPs of hospitals. So, both very driven. We're both type A both very driven. So I don't know that in the early stages, we thought
about our financial future. We just love to work, we love to earn, we love to build. Um, so, yeah, we just, you know, 5060 hours a week, from the very beginning, regardless of what job we had, that's just the way it was. And very glamorous, very secure. 100% monogamous. I take
¶ Cold calling and getting rejected
back the secure part. Because when he was traveling, when I married an absolutely devastatingly handsome man. So as a woman who he's traveling all the time, I was the I was insecure. And I wasn't at all until one girlfriend said to me one time, husband's really fine. You're not worried about him having chicks in every city. And I'm like, what? Like it, I'd never considered it because our relationship was so her air is perfect. And that $1 friend, not
very friendly thing to say. But it changed me into a very insecure and jealous person, just like that one comment. Yeah. So I became a little bit of a psycho checking his phone and looking a lot looking for things to catch him on, which was so not me.
And our calls, he knew you were doing, I caught a lot of friction. And it was funny.
Because he knew he was being loyal. He thought this was just a phase. And it didn't go away fast enough. So it became unfunny. And of course, it causes a rift, because when you're not doing anything wrong, but you're constantly being accused, you're going to resent there's, there's going to be a lot of emotions that come up. So that that was a problem. And
¶ Working for Harley-Davidson
ultimately, it, it came to a head. And we did the best thing that we could have done in the moment. There's some other pieces, but we decided to see a marriage counselor. And that changed our lives back on track. And the thing is so much about that this was after our baby, which added another dimension to that. But this, I don't know, maybe the fourth or fifth time we went to therapy, we only went like six times, they basically kicked us out and you guys are
good. Like you're good. But like the second or third time, they stopped and looked at us and said, Wow, I don't I'm sorry. I just need a moment. I've never had a couple be more brutally honest, ever in a session. And we looked at each other and I looked at them were like, Isn't that why we're here? It was very, it was a very pivotal moment because we are that honest. Which is why I believe we're happily married 28 years later.
What was the if you could nail down to one piece of advice the therapist gave you to overcome your jealousy. What would what was that piece of advice?
There is one that I'll never forget it was have no Plan B's. Never, ever, ever. And we made a pact and it was like a pinky swears like it's a pinky pact in the car. Never, never, never, never no Plan B's, I will never leave you you'll never be alone. I will never deceive backstab, betray. And that was it. So once the no plan B was accepted by both of us, the world became our oyster. It's our playground. And it's he and I against the
world. As an entrepreneur and a founder and a venture capitalist. That's, that's what you want to hear there is no plan B, I'm going to
make it I'm going to win. And I think that's a great lesson for all the listeners out there, the viewers don't have a plan B because if you're thinking about the plan B, you're not going to really 100% Best you're not 100% invested, you're always looking over your shoulder or your brain is looking if that doesn't work out, you always want to have the mentality this is going to work out no matter what.
It's interesting. You brought that up about in the sense of a relationship but your 1,000% Right, I approach almost probably every single business endeavor the same way. There is no there is no fail. This if I'm getting involved, if I'm choosing to invest my time, I am investing in you I'm investing in this business, I am not going to let it fail. And of course they do. Sometimes businesses just don't work out. But what comes after that is even better.
That's been my experience, the things that do go off away and weren't meant to be the actual business. Go away and the next thing from all the lessons is like, Oh my God, that's what that was about. It's even better.
100% I believe you learn more from your failures than you do your wins. And I've always said that as well. I mean, we sometimes You get lucky on the way up and things could never work and they do work. And sometimes the things that you think are going to work, there'll be a dunk, are the worst things were deals I've ever done worse founders that I've ever backed. So you never know. But I think it's important to learn from your mistakes.
So you don't do them again,
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She was born in 2000. And still traveling and it was around her first birthday that he started looking for another job. It's hard. It's really hard when you love your family and you're watching your children grow from photos. You know in in I first steps is the one that really did it first birthday was tough to not be there. And then when she took her first steps, he has video of it. But he's like that's it? Yeah, it'd be home more. That's a big one. Yeah, it was huge.
And it was it was for him to he put in his time. And we were lucky to be in a position where we could afford to venture off into our own company, which we did.
And so you started a wine label company at that point called Creative fine greetings. grapevine greetings. Also about that. And then your husband has some health problems as well. So walk us through there because I think that's a good transition to where we're going and what you did what you do today.
Yeah, I'm trying to remember I think the health issue came first he was traveling, there were times he'd be on the road, 21 days, corporate America can consume you if you let it and being so driven and so young. They just kept pushing. And he kept giving, you know, he just kept giving. And he was closing a contract deal in Las Vegas at a hospital, thank goodness. And he had a stress induced heart attack. Probably just no sleep, working all the time. You know, and I flew out there, got him
home. He's okay. He's doing great he has he has a few things that followed from that. That situation, but we looked at each other we said it's time. Like, we need our own company, this, this corporate America is gonna kill you. I was at home raising our daughter at the time, I was
¶ Dealing with jealousy
kind of itching to get back into the business, not leave her but be able to use my adult time my brain and do something just seemed like the perfect opportunity. We love wine. We gift wine, we receive wine all the time. And that's what created great Frank reading is one night we went and pulled a bottle from the cellar. And we didn't know who gave us this bottle, we looked it up and it was a gorgeous bottle of wine like amazing. We know we didn't
buy it. So we didn't know who to think when we drank it and was so amazing. So we said wouldn't it be a cool business to have like, greeting cards for wine bottles that like not an actual card, but like you could stick it and we just kept going the brainstorm kept going and we created labels that look like a greeting card that had a you know, famous quote and something about wine, and whether it was a birthday and anniversary Christmas and and there was nothing on the market like it.
So our very first business didn't have infrastructure out there. There was no marketing, nobody knew what it was. So not only did we have to create the product, we had to figure out how to educate the public as to what it even is. So we went for it. We really went for it. And it was awesome. It was an awesome experience.
Alright, so now we're going to switch topics and we're gonna talk about the porn industry. I want to talk about the definition of porn. And I'm going to [email protected] and here are the two definitions of porn, sometimes referred to as porno and pornography, sexually explicit videos, photographs, writings that are the light produced to elicit sexual arousal, television shows, articles, photographs, etc. are thought to cater to an excessive, irresistible desire
or interest for something. Those are Victoria's Secrets and pornography. What about the millions of beautiful models and sexy photos on Instagram? Many of them wearing only skimpy bikinis, and in some cases, almost no bikinis are what about the most recent Instagram posts from Kendall Jenner who I think
is gorgeous. And who has 294 million Instagram followers It's a very sexy picture on the cover of this month's issue of W magazine have her in a thin white tank top where her hands are under her breasts almost lifting it up, like she's about to take it off, and can be interpreted as something very, very sexy.
Is that porn? Well, based on the definition you just gave, it's exceptionally subjective, which if anybody has seen Larry Flynt movie, that is the case that defined it. And I don't know, why do we want to keep going back to that, because it's been defined. It is an art form, it is incredibly subjective. And thank God, we live in a free country. So it's more of a form of freedom of speech. So do I think that woman in holding up almost about to reveal a nipples pornography?
No. But that doesn't mean you don't. However, I would fight for the right to be able to post it is interesting
to me, because I don't have that definition. And I looked at other definitions besides that one, and they're all the same, pretty much and under those definitions, almost everything we see is porn, on Instagram, on the cover of female magazines, and ads for jewelry, and all the most serious magazines, all the men's business magazines, all the women's magazines. So we're what's the dividing line between porn and not porn? I think most people would not think that's porn. And at some point, there's
some amount of nudity. And as nudity alone, that becomes corners of the nudity and the action that becomes porn.
Sure. I think the media does a really funny mind trick on everybody that it spews information to everyone knows that sex sells. Now, I don't mean the actual act of but human sexuality, hence why half naked women are on the magazine covers. And it's the same media outlets that say, Ooh, sex is bad. It is a total it's total hypocrisy. Yet, we're not going to stop using it because it's numbers, you look at Instagram. That's a really good point. And I have issue with how this goes
down. Because if Instagrams Terms and Conditions say we're a PG, you know, family oriented, all ages are on here, too much flush, you're gonna get banned. These are all legitimate things, you know, too much flush. They've got algorithms that can take them down. But I've seen things that I'm like, Whoa, like, Are you kidding me? That's not flagged, but then a person in one piece bathing suit is. So unfortunately for the adult industry, yes, we can be we can
push the limits. There's no doubt a lot of people in the adult industry, push the limits. Um, but it's not the adult industry posting most of the content you're describing right now. It's Kardashians. It's other famous. And I'm not mad at them. I think they're beautiful, too. But they can get away with string bikinis, nipples, almost showing body parts way more flesh than an adult entertainer.
If you are an adult entertainer, you're instantly labeled and I've had photos flagged for having bare feet, their feet, that's not a joke. When against community guidelines,
people know you the companies know you already they know your porn stars. So you're, you get a footfall and you're gonna get flack.
And there's a lot of haters, there's people out there who simply don't like different groups that don't like who you are, what you've chosen to be or do. And they will mass report, even if the photos of you if I'm in this and they will take it down because of the mass reporting.
On Instagram. It's amazing how many beautiful women I see in they are basically naked, or they may be topless, but they have a little blur, or a little tassel right over their nipple. And so therefore, that's what I would call pushing it. But but you see it regularly flagged or taken
down? Well, some of them do get taken down, but some of them I know we had a friend of a friend who is a beautiful woman and she has a lot of followers and she was doing that it was up for three years or something and they finally took it down. So it's it's interesting to see what's on there. Alright, so let's talk about some statistics now about the porn industry. And I'm gonna go through a whole bunch of them. And I think our viewers and listeners won't know
many of these. The global pornography industry is $97 billion a year $10 billion in the United States bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. 46 million Americans regularly visit porn sites each month, our population there is 332 million. That means
¶ Starting a wine label company
14% of our population is watching porn regularly for ages 18 or over 18% of the adult population. 33% of Americans seek out porn at least once a month 70% of men aged 18 to 24 visit pornographic websites at least once per On 46% of men seek out porn at least once a month 20% of men and 13% of women access porn at work. 75.8% of Americans have at one point watched porn online. Approximately 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography. Around 25% of search engine requests are
pornography related. There are over 4.2 million adult websites making up 12% of all websites. internet pornography makes up about 20% of total ecommerce sales in the United States. Around 1.7% of adult women have worked in the pornography industry at some point in their life. Yet 66% of young adults aged 18 to 24 rarely or never talk to their friends about porn. 55% of adults 25 And older say viewing porn is wrong. 32% of teens and young adults they
viewing porn is wrong. And 31% of young adults say porn is bad for society. Sex toy retailer Adam and Eve conducted a survey and discovered that 36% of people lied and denied watching online porn.
But what is going on here? It's a societal issue. For sure. I think Americans in general, are some of the most sexually repressed. You go to Europe? I bet then I don't know. But I bet the numbers are a lot lower because they're sexually liberated. They have nude beaches there and they're not walking around with people gawking and staring it's the human form. It's beautiful
bodies are gorgeous. Sex is the number one and number two most pleasurable thing you can experience globally, that it doesn't matter where you ask this question, it doesn't it doesn't matter what language or what gender you're asking, it's number one and number two. So the fact that we seek to watch it and to feel an orgasm, which is like the best high you can possibly feel though it may last for a short period of time. We're always seeking it. So none of those numbers surprise me.
And I think the the people that are denying it, for whatever reason are have been taught to feel shame, or guilt over they're experiencing their own pleasure and having a sexuality, which if it weren't for sex you and I wouldn't be sitting
here. What's interesting also is the statistics on porn. Its most people watch porn. Right? They agree, but but we don't talk about it. Right? We certainly don't talk about it at work. I mean, that's that's not appropriate. You do. You do but I don't and people in my world I don't think
especially now you don't especially me to it or you get fired or fired or sent to HR minimum suit? Probably. Probably. But
with close friends, sometimes. You know, you're having a few beers. You make a few jokes. But you know, you're at dinner with another couple. No one. No one's really talking about that. Right? Oh, what did you do tonight? Oh, I watched the great sexy porn movie with my wife. I've never had that conversation ever with anybody else
or my favorite conversations. Because we roll in different circles. It makes sense. But you can imagine, I will be in the airport and a couple my age, maybe a little younger, will approach me a couple. And the wife's like, I got Randy, we love your work. And I those are my moments where I just glow. I'm so excited because I'm like you to have a great sex life. And you're going to be happily married for a long
time. Literally. That's what I what I think when a couple says that because they're open. They're sexually adventurous. They're joy filled. They're having a ball with one another. The word porno pornography, it's it's kind of stigma we all know it. And I don't mind using it doesn't bother me. It's semantics. But it is adult entertainment. It is a form. It's an art form. It is entertainment. It is meant to be
entertainment. They were, you know, we as actors and go out to go, oh, this is going to be a great educational film. We didn't do that the adult industry knows why we're there. It's it's fantasy. It's for fun. It's to add a spark. It's to you need 30 seconds to get to sleep. We got you. It was never intended for viewers under 18. So you know, but then in our society again, you tell somebody they can't what are they going to do? They're going to find it.
And in the world of the internet, it's become increasingly difficult to to safeguard your kids. You know, and even if your home is locked down, they take their cell phone to school, or one of their friend's parents isn't watching and you know, so
you do couples come up to in an airport with their kids in tow, say oh hi Brandi.
No, never their children. No, and I've only probably had two experiences in my life. where I've been with my family and somebody, um, you know, they be line and one of the things is difficult. I guess if you want to call that being an adult entertainer, the walls come down because it's such an intimate relationship, right? If you're viewing me for 10 years, you know, my films. It's not like being you know, JLo or Jennifer Aniston, there is a wall with adult entertainers.
¶ What is porn?
The viewers don't feel that well, because it's such an intimate moment we're having right. So sometimes they will focus on you and not pay attention to the fact that you're with your family, or it's not a good time. And in those cases, I simply say, You know what, I really appreciate you being a fan. I really do. But now
what's the percentage of male versus female who come up to you and say, hi, Rangers, I Brandi love what you do, or Hi, I want to meet you, or Hi, I want to take a picture with you.
It's changed the years, it's still predominantly male. But through the years, more and more women have become comfortable. And I'm shocked by some of the emails I get from young women. When I say young anywhere from 20 to my age, and sometimes it's getting to where they're like, how do you keep your love life on point at our age? How do you what's your diet, like? They get into my fitness routine, because they want to look their best that
they're my age. And so it's interesting, even though I'm an adult actress, I have access to conversations and affecting lives way outside the realm of adult.
You mentioned before sex is one of the one number two, what what the second, or you're saying it is number one and number six
and masturbation. So I kind of pulled them together. But number one and number two sexes. Number one, mass operations. Number two is the most pleasurable activities known to humankind.
You're working in the wine business, and you're shooting a video for the wine business and the videographer comes up to as the brandy. Have you ever thought about doing this? What is this? And then what happened after that?
Very, very, that's almost how exactly how it happened. We were not developers, I didn't know how to build a website, the Internet was is ecommerce was just getting started in a large format. And we didn't know how to build a website, but we needed one. So the company we were put in touch with to build out the wine label business. After knowing us for like two weeks and working diligently side by side to create this website. That's when they said, hey, guys ever considered doing
something an adult? And I remember thinking to myself, I didn't say out loud, bro. Like, we watch a lot of dollar. Hey, man, what is he talking about? And I guess we just have that kind of demeanor. They felt they could throw that out there. And we saw exactly what do you mean, you know, like, an adult website, like you guys would be great. We want to do that. What we found out was they were adult affiliate managers, on top of working for this company that builds that website. I didn't
even know what that meant. So we went home, started the research understanding what does he mean by a business? I always kind of thought they were born. pixies like they're fairies. They're these beautiful people that just look awesome having sex and I get to enjoy it. I never thought of it as a business. So that started a journey down three or five years seven year plan. How do you make money? What are the costs of starting a website?
What is the marketing and advertising, we didn't sleep for days because we got so excited about this. And they wanted to be a part of this, which they had the back knowledge. We had the business knowledge, and that formed our first company in adult when it came time to pick a model. I raised my hand I just thought it was that natural. I just won't do it. I trust me, I'll show up. I'll do the work.
I know I will I don't want to invest all this money looking at six figures, even back then to properly prepare a website and get your hosting and all that set up. Like I'll do the work this this can be really fun. Like I got excited.
DD. So some guy you don't know that. Well, basically says, Hey, Brianna, you and Chris are great looking people you got I don't think they said that. Okay, okay. But that's what they're thinking. That's because of your ugly they want to ask you to create your own website. So So you have you have physical guests, and you have wonderful figures. And they say gosh, this would be interesting. And of course he works in the business so why not
ask right? You don't ask you don't get and and then you you said all right. I mean, did you consider no taking off your clothes naked? I'm not talking about just topless but full frontal nudity in front of someone else who wasn't your husband. Was that that awkward to think about? Oh,
I grew up a dancer. I'm a classically trained ballerina tap jazz. I was always on stage the ice skating you the skater is the whole arena is looking at you. So I never really had a fear of being washed and a little to my I didn't know but I'm, I'm as much voyeuristic as I am an exhibitionist, the idea of the taking off the clothes, it was going to be a matter of either total fear or total exhilaration. And in my case, it
was exhilaration. And to so the viewers understand first and I had played with the lifestyle, that whole no Plan B thing when I said the world became our playground, that was literally a side effect for us. Like we didn't just run out and start having sex with strangers, but we started to research, the whole concept of the lifestyle. And because we no longer had fear of losing one another, the fear that the jealousy went, it literally went away. And it became one like the whole
concept. And so we had some experience in the lifestyle when this moment happens. So the adult concept wasn't far fetched. It's not like these people went into a church and said, Hey, anybody here wants to do a porn site. He had it, he could tell that we were adventurous. So
at this point, you and Chris has decided to have somewhat of an open marriage where you are having sex with different people.
¶ Statistics about the porn industry
It was always us together with other couples.
Okay. Never that point. Never. And you were watching each other while the sex acts are going on? In the same room. Okay. Was it heterosexual at that point? 100% heterosexual. Okay. And so how long have you been doing that? At a point in time where you said, Alright, I'm, I'm going to do this, or I'm interested in doing this.
Well, it was never about me saying that it was an us decision. I would never do anything against my husband's will. If he wasn't into it. I wasn't into it. It became something that we were turned on by the whole concept was fun and exciting for us. So we decided to pursue it.
Many couples make home movies, they watch the movies. Had you guys have made your own home movies before?
Probably remember 1000s of movies ago, but and we still do I mean, so much of my only fans is person. I mean, there's other content of course, but he does live cams with me, we do we shoot content together. So the difference is now we share it. That's the only difference. But you know, that is a funny thing is you think most couples in our country probably have a homemade sex tape. But because I share mine, you're bad.
We've got Pam Anderson, we have Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian.
I would never shame those people for doing that. But we do as a society. And in some ways, I I gained financially by that.
And by the way, when I mentioned most people, I think it's a rare fact that someone took something private meant for them and published it online. I think I
agree with the honorific we're also assuming that that's how it took place.
Let's assume that it did take place that way, I think. I think I think it's horrific. So
nobody should do that to
somebody else. I agree was private is private to be kept private should be. So Wasn't there something about what t shirt night going before this before you started this?
Before I even met my husband. Again, this is that exhibitionist part and not being afraid of being on stage. I thrive. I love that energy. I did a bikini contest when I was 18 years old at a local bar in Plymouth, Michigan. And I was probably the youngest contestant. I don't know why I thought this would be a great idea. It just sounded fun and exciting. And I ended up winning. And my best girlfriend at the time when I went on a fully paid cruise to the
Bahamas. So that that felt like when I danced for a few years at a men's club. It was so natural for me. I loved it. I there was it was just another stage performance.
So you were dancing at what would be called a strip bar. Gentlemen's Club. Yeah. Almost. No touching allowed. It happens. Yeah, no touching
allowed. Yeah. Okay.
That's funny. Because, yeah, touching. Usually it allows you go to a different room for for the touching, right, a VIP room. VIP room. Okay. So what is so interesting about your story? I mean, there's so many things. I mean, it's just fascinating. I love your story. I think it's incredible. You said something. When you start out. You looked at the business aspect first. You didn't say hey, I'm gonna go make a bunch of sex tapes and figure out what's going on you You said yourself, this is a
business. Yeah. Before you even got going, you created a three, five and seven year Business Plan Pro Forma. Yeah. I mean, talk to us about that. I think personally, that's very unusual when I learned that about you that shocked me, do born actresses, and actors create business plans before they get the business?
Probably not. I mean, I can't say for sure. But also understand that I came into this industry at 30 years old, I had a strong foundation, a wonderful marriage, a happy family. I'd worked in corporate America, Chris came from corporate America, we're both well educated. It's how we approach everything. So for me, it was a natural thing to approach the adult industry, the way I would any business. The only difference with adult was, I literally got to be mean, like fully exposed, raw, wild,
untamed. Me. And the business was the infrastructure, having the performer and knowing how we were going to approach us, then I just got to be wild, we could wear a hair, how we wanted wear clothes, not wear clothes. That's what was so exciting about the adult industry, you know, you make your own hours, you are your own boss, you work as hard as you want, take a day
off. It for me, it was the perfect business, something that I knew I wasn't going to do for a month or two, it wasn't gonna get me through school, I'm through school. It was a I could do this until they push me off the stage. Like they're gonna have to tell me b It's time to go like, seriously, it's time to go like to the retirement facility, because I love what I do. And I can't imagine that not working in this industry in this capacity.
What was on the pro firewall? That's back out for a second, would you have gone into the business and the profile if the pro forma numbers didn't work? Yeah. So it would be bad business. So you you pencil this out? And what were some of the line items in the pro forma revenue? I mean, did you have to calculate how much your basic
p&l? I mean, because there was so much we had to learn about the adult industry, neither one of us knew, we learned how that we kept adding items, of course, as we learned, but it was a, you know,
because it's a new business, you don't know didn't
have any income, we could forecast it based on other businesses that we were able to pull from, but it was an unknown, but there was no plan B, we were going to make it happen.
I mean, technology has changed so much. And we're going to talk about that in a few minutes. But what was the revenue model back then? How were you going to create your own videos, put up your own website and then make money?
Just that we built a website took photos and posted them online? Back when you're charging people for Yeah, yeah, I can totally get what you're saying. It was your basic solo model site, which is, it's gone now. But right back in the 2000s, you join a site if you like, if you liked me, you go to Brandy love.com, and you paid your 2995 and all my content was yours. Access to me emails, whatever videos you wanted to watch, it was a totally
different format back then. Now we have the only fans concept, which is typically a nominal fee, and then you pay as you go, right? Buy what you want. You don't buy what you don't want. totally flipped. So I know both sides. But um, yeah, it was it literally was, if you build it, I'm not gonna say it, that would be rude. If you build it, they will come. And they did. Thank
God really did. And I think I didn't, I didn't have a marketing degree that was also self taught just just from watching what's working, what's not working? How do you drive traffic from here to there. That's when we started buying real estate online, we own 2000 domains. And we learned how to use those domains to drive traffic to where we want it. Neither one of us from school for that. That's just you realize, Okay, how are they doing that? And you just start researching and figure it out.
So yeah, that's literally how I started in the marketing. My first lesson in marketing was Howard Stern. I didn't know anything, but I knew that man had more traffic than anything else I knew of. So I made up story. And I literally started writing letters with pen and paper. I know nobody does that anymore. But I snail mailed him letters every day for two weeks, every day, every single day, even on Sunday, set in the
¶ The transition from the wine to the adult business
mailbox on Monday and he get to on Wednesday, I was determined to get on his show, and I said that I wanted to know why Playboy wouldn't shoot me. You got to try but yeah, I knew they weren't I know I'm not a playboy esque type model, but I thought that would get to him that I wanted to be rated like tell me why Playboy won't shoot me.
Did you send them photos or tapes of what you're what you're doing?
Yeah photos, photos. my.com The research it and I was coming down for a one in North Carolina highway. And I get this call from bababooey. Yes, his guy. And I literally had to pull over because I was like, I knew it was him. I know his voice. And that Friday, I was in New York filming for me. I was on the last show that II, the channel put out, it was the last one that Howard filmed and it changed my trajectory.
So, so much here that I want to get into but were you nervous that Howard Stern, the greatest radio personality most popular in the country, maybe even the world, frankly, was gonna actually read a letter, he must get a lot of fan mail.
I was I was fine until the evening before flight, I worked myself up. My nerves were so jacked, that I got sick, really sick, like flu like sick. I lost my voice. And it was from just it was over panicking. Honestly, I seemed fine from the outside. But inside I was running and trying to figure out how it's gonna handle this. We're just gonna say, and I showed up, I got on that plane. And I showed up and I'm sitting
in the greenroom. And I remember just sitting there and I'm praying, I'm praying so hard. I'm like, Lord, just give me three minutes. Give me three minutes in my voice because this is my shot. And I knew I like at that moment. And I was miked up and I'm ready to go. And then I can hear them coming down the hallway. I'm like, these, I'll be better. I'll be better skim your voice. Watch me down there. Like you're gonna I'm like, I'm florist epic. I mean, I basically drink it. And I get
out there. And he asked me a question. And I had a voice. I could answer. I was raspy. But you could understand me. And I just remember like, All right, we're on. Here we go. And I got I was on for like, I don't know, maybe five, six minutes. I don't remember maybe 10, maybe two. I don't remember it was a blur. And he marked me up with markers. It was hilarious and made fun of my hair. Because I'm from Michigan. I did my big Aqua net hair. It was hilarious to me. And we left and somebody
asked me a question my voice. I couldn't speak for about four days after that. And our our servers crashed from once. Howard Stern traffic, right. He chant he chant he put me on the map. He literally put me on the map and we're doing okay. All right, cool. We made $1,000 This is huge. Yeah, Howard Stern comes in and your website's making 50 $60,000 a month we were all just like, Oh, I'd never seen numbers like that I hadn't I knew the adult industry
was viable. I just didn't realize it was asked back in 2004
Thanks for listening to part one of my amazing conversation with brandy love one of the most successful adult film stars in history. Be sure to tune in next week for part two of my amazing conversation with brandy. How has only fans changed the game for porn actresses and how has it influenced your life? Is it as good as everybody says it is if you're a creator,
for me personally, yes, life changing financially life changing and from a creator standpoint, we have the power we own and create our own content. When you shoot in the pro scene, you get paid your day rate and you never see another penny. That's the deal. I mean, so whatever your rate is, that's what you get. And you never you don't own the content. You can't use the content that's what you
got paid for. So to go from that, which is a good to being able to shoot in your home uploaded in your home and make three or four or five or six or seven times your day rate over the course of that film's life. It changes your world