Hey, it's Graham. Our past in depth guests have shared so many inspirational stories about overcoming adversity and tackling the darkest and most challenging times in their lives. We're sharing one of those moments in today's Thursday podcast in the hope that it provides A blueprint for any difficulties you might be facing this week. Kevin Love, November 2017, your panic attack. It's third quarter timeouts called. Take me to that moment and what
happened from there. Yeah, I mean, it was scary. I was, you know, just trying to catch my breath in a in a huddle. You know, I kind of gotten up and, you know, Ty Lou asked me if I was OK and I just could not catch my breath and my my heart just continue to to race and to race. And you know, it's like I could look down and see my chest like almost having convulsions. And no, I had to because I'm in front of these almost 24,000 people. I'm like, I'm not about to have
this moment here. And every time I, I felt something like that in the past, I always had somewhere to go or manifested in anger or rage in such a big way. But I just went to the locker room. I'm like, all right, where do I need to go? I'm searching for something that's not there. I can't catch my breath. My mind is racing. So I ended up on the the floor of my head. Athletic trainers, Steve Sparrow, his, his office.
I feel like something stuck in my throat and I thought I was, I thought I was, you know, really having, you know, cardiac episode and having a heart attack and from, from people that I've, I've, you know, talked to and spoken with about it. They share a lot of similarities and, and you know how they experience. And on top of that, I'm just leaking sweat. So that was a really scary moment where I ended up with oxygen, went to the Cleveland Clinic afterwards and everything
checked out. They ran all the tests and you know, I thought to myself, like, what the hell just happened then? Like what, what is what's going on? I think that was the first time where I said, OK, I, I, I've put off getting help for, for so long. I've told very few people, you know, what's been going on with me all these years. So OK, now it's time to really consider the dude in the mirror and and get some help. When you were actually in that, were you concerned for your life?
Yes, it's funny. It's it's, I shouldn't say funny, but it's, it's at that moment, like I started getting excited and pitting my stomach thinking about it now, but it was just scary. I mean, I think the fact that it was such a public setting and I didn't want anybody to see, that's what really made it like something where it was almost like, I feel like I'm going to die and maybe if everybody's going to find out, maybe it's not the worst thing.
So it was like a slippery, slippery slope for me. Why were you so concerned about other people finding out? Because you know, these are just things that you don't share, especially, you know, in terms of gender lines too. Like as a man, these are things like I was, I was taught or grew up even outside of my family. You just did not expose like you don't you don't share this stuff.
So, you know, for these guys that are supposed to trust me day in and day out, if they know that I'm dealing with stuff in my, my brain and in my mind, every way, they're not going to be able to trust me. And it's going to affect my livelihood and on a national scale.
So worried that people would look at me different and, and think that, you know, I was weak or that, you know, I was somebody that that either couldn't be trusted or, you know, it would make me not fit in or, you know, just there was so many things that were going through my brain at the time that I think even made it even worse. When was the last time you had a really bad episode? The anxiety component is just something that I live with every day. It's something that I've tried
to change my relationship with. And I think, you know, there's different philosophies and people that look at medication a different way, but I think medication has helped save my life in a big way, not only from the anxiety component, but depression component as well. I think CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy has really helped me and my therapist has, has really helped me to where now it's almost like, you know, growth sessions. Why have?
You said one of the best days of your life happened after you started going through therapy. Because I'm just. And now I get to be unapologetically myself. Like I, I'm just, I just am who I am. And I have these real flaws and these, you know, things about myself that I'm not necessarily proud of, but I deal with on a daily basis. And, you know, I'm playing all my cards. That was the scariest thing that
I likely did in my life. I think that's just allowed me to be so comfortable in my own skin. And I got to be myself truly for the first time probably in my entire life. And you get to change the narrative in in your brain about, you know, things that you've you've suffered from and thought about and suffered about for, for so long. And I think that can be extremely rewarding and extremely profound as as you
move forward. I never thought I'd be sitting here talking about this if you would have told me this 5-10 years ago, but it's, it's, you know, something that I'm extremely passionate about. Tell about the Grandma Carol conversation. You know, I was in Mexico City. We were supposed to play, you know, Gregg Popovich and the Spurs down there. And she, you know, I, I got sick, had plaque go up to her brain and, you know, was in a coma and died a few days later. And I never got to see her
before she passed. So for me, I never really went through the grieving process and grab a photo of her, you know, right next to my desk in my office in my apartment. And it says, you know, I can't wait to see you again. I have so much to tell you. And I think that was a tough part for me because she was a very special woman who lived next to us for, you know, my entire, you know, formative years of my life. But to what was it about that conversation with the therapist that impacted you?
I think just having a better understanding of myself and allowing myself not only to grieve, but to to be vulnerable in some in front of somebody and just open my mind up to somebody who was me being so closed off to to therapy for so long. So I thought you know this and it doesn't always work the the first time around or or you know selecting or finding a a therapist, it works. But thankfully for me it did and I was able to get a lot out of it.
Explain the importance of keeping your mind occupied in a healthy way and what you do. I think keeping your mind occupied and on a steady path and continuing to grow can really put depression from that aspect at at Bay and finding balance. I think those being present and finding balance are probably 2 of the hardest things in life. And that's something that I, I think we all struggle with.
But I think it's a, a major component when it, when it comes to mental health, because you can, you can only take care of, of right now. Like yes, it can set you up for the future. It can heal things from the past. You can learn things from the past. But you know, all we have is right now and the decisions we make.
Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week and every week, sharing long form interviews on Mondays and shorter uplifting stories on Thursdays and then trending clips on Fridays.