So I have a little weird thing that I found out just today. So I don't know if you've noticed my name, it's Ash. And Ash, obviously by Ash, I mean Ash from Evil Dead. Right? So, one of the shorts that I- Totally. One of the shorts that I did, I love to look up the writers and directors so I can see like what else they've been in or what else they've done. Turns out that this guy, I clicked on it and it said Evil Dead 2013. He was one of the producers on the
remake. And I was like, Oh my God. And then I looked at the remake on IMDB and there are three countries of origin listed, New Zealand, Australia, and United States. So guess what I'm doing next week? Mother f**ers. I'm doing Evil Dead 2013. And I know technically, technically United States is first on that list, but two other countries of origin, so it counts. Yeah. I, I. Yeah. So welcome to Imported Horror. This is the podcast that brings you the very best of chilling procedural
satanic rock stars in haunted bathtubs from beyond the shining seas. I'm Marcus, I'm here with my macabre co-hosts. Melissa. And Grady. And we've been on an impromptu break for two weeks. That's our bad, but we're back, so that's great. Melissa was feeling like hot garbage and not in a fun way. Grady and I were super busy at work, also not in fun ways. Things just got away from us. But I think we're all doing better at this point. I think so. Better
enough. So, and then today- My sometimes is frustrating. Well, Mark's just, I'm on spring break right now, which is awesome, but we experimented with half semester classes this year, thinking it would lead to more enrollment. It didn't really work, but that meant that everything was crammed in for two of my classes. Like finals level of work well before you usually have finals levels of work. Yes. And it means okay, may will be much easier relative to other years,
but I was, you know, in no mood for email last week. Let's put it that way. You're on spring break now you say. Yes. Happy belated anniversary, by the way. I I completely forgot about that this year. Yeah, no, because it was like, so much stuff happened that year. And your wedding was like the last thing. Which is why it usually sticks out in my mind, because that was the last time that I got to see people before the apocalypse happened. And there was a good solid
year that I thought that was the last time I would ever see people. So you'd think I'd remember that damn date. And if we had known that going into it, we would have had a lot more alcohol. Huh? I know. Yeah. But since Roz was born and I can only remember so many important dates, I guess you're Emily's anniversary kind of took it took one for the team. Sorry about that.
No, you're fine. No, you're crazy. I thought the same thing because I realized it today and I was just like, yeah, I think Roz's birthday replaced that piece of information in my book. Yeah, you can only remember so many important days. I know. It's also, it was March 8th, 2020, which was also the same Sunday that the clocks jumped ahead, which is also part of the reason we didn't have a ton of alcohol because we just were looking for something chill, you
know? And it was, it's just, you know, we didn't make it to the next weekend without chaos. Fair enough. That's a really good thing that you didn't delay the ceremony for a week like you were thinking about. That was sucked. We were thinking either the first part of spring break or the second. I'd have had to teach my dad Zoom so much earlier than I ended up having to teach my dad Zoom. It's just, we were really grateful too, that nobody got sick, you know?
And that was our first thought. Well, no, that's not true. Our first thought was what the actual fuck because that's called halfway. way through the honey business. Yeah, it's a quip to come home now, stop for toilet paper if you can. Don't touch anything. I don't think I'm even paraphrasing it that much. No, you're not. It was just, I'm sorry, what? All I remember is being like, hey guys, I know you're on the way back. You should probably pick up some toilet
paper while you're going through towns that aren't so, so packed, you know? And you're like, what? Like, just get some toilet paper. Everything will be fine. We found the real cheap stuff in Atlanta, Texas, which for those of y'all keeping score at home, is not the same thing in any way, shape or form as Atlanta, Georgia. And I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, so sorry if I am repeating myself, but Atlanta, Texas is the place that
has the nursing home that is the same name as the- Sex Dungeon. Yes, Sex Dungeon. God, I want to say Georgia, but I can't remember. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm pro sex dungeon. Don't get me wrong. But if you're going to go to a sex dungeon, Atlanta, Texas is probably not the place that you want to locate your entrepreneurial startup. That's not, that's probably not going to work the way you think. That's the first conversation in a series of conversations that
ends with Texas chainsaw massacre. All I want to know is, The fact that they have the same name, how many people call the Atlanta, Texas nursing home and think it's the BDSM sex dungeon or vice versa? I didn't you make that mistake in one direction or another? Yes. Yes, I did. That's why I'm making that up. I like that you're hedging in one direction or another. She's
told the story. I don't know. I think given her occupation, it's more likely she'd have accidentally called the sex dungeon looking for the nursing home, but maybe sex dungeons need pharmaceutical drugs too. They probably do. Oh god. Anyway, we're back. And today we've got several different movies. The Wheel of Misfortune gave us Belzebuth from Mexico and the USA on Shudder. I took that one. Grady was also on Shudder with Extraordinary from Ireland and Belgium, which I've seen. It's
been a couple of years, but I remember really liking it. It's a good one. And then I made the mistake of watching a terrible movie that we'll talk about if we have time. and Melissa found two shorts on YouTube, The Plague from Uruguay and Antique, oh, like antique, like, okay, it's spelled, oh, okay. A-N-T-I-K-P-A, that's the spelling, yeah. From Norway, which I believe, according to IMDB, has a haunted bathtub. Am I understanding that correctly?
It does, and that doesn't sound scary, but oh my God, this was terrifying. This short won so many awards. And it was incredibly well done. So I can't wait to talk about it. Is it haunted? Like you've got the water on and then it becomes like freezing frigid cold for no reason, or it becomes like super scalding all of a sudden. And you're like, ow. Is it haunted like Ghostbusters 2? I was gonna say that the scalding and freezing is not haunted. It's just called Texas and bathtub water. Oh, look
at Melissa. She's from a blue state and they have much better plumbing than we do. All I'm saying is when I'm in New Jersey and I turn my thing to hot, I get hot, and I turn my thing to cold, I get cold. I don't believe you. Anyway, before we get to that, we've got some coming soon drops to talk about.
I'm stretching this a bit because we've got two upcoming and we're going to throw it in reverse for one, but as always follow us on Twitter at imported horror for all the drops and once our social media management program finally updates and connects to threads, we're going to bail on Elon and go there instead, they say it won't be long. So we'll just, you
know, stay posted for that. We get to deal with the slightly less bad billionaire. Yay. Anyway, first, and this hit shutter last Friday, March 8, Satanic Hispanics from Mexico and the United States. When police break into a house in El Paso, they find it filled with dead Latinos and a lone survivor known as Il Viero is taken to the police station for questioning. This is anthology horror with a killer lineup. And from what I can tell. pretty good reputation,
but I'm basing that on chatter on the twitching corpse that used to be Twitter. So, you know, I'm choosing to be optimistic. This did look like something I would be interested in. Right. Yeah. I'm kind of glad that it's got that apparent pedigree because the title did not fill me with confidence. The satanic Hispanic sounds like a pro wrestler from a very like low grade, like pre WWE, like high school. gymnasium sort of outfit. A Caucasian low grade pro wrestler.
Well, so this has its anthology horror directors. Some of these we've actually encountered before on the podcast, which is great. Uh, Alejandro Bruges, Alejandro Bruges. I'm sorry. I'm from Texas. I should speak Spanish much better than I do. Um, Oh, I think that's right. But maybe not. You never, I don't know. My bad. It's got Alejandro Brujas, who directed One of the Dead,
which we did years ago and is magnificent and criminally underrated. Eduardo Sanchez, who co-wrote and co-directed, and I know y'all have seen this one, the Blair Witch Project, like the original Blair Witch Project. I saw that in theaters. Oh, okay. I am actually super jealous. I wasn't even in the country for that. I would have. And Demian Runga. who wrote and directed Terrified and When Evil Lurks. And Love Terrified, I wasn't crazy about When Evil
Lurks, but a lot of people really liked it. Okay. Also got Mike Mendez who directed Big Ass Spider with an exclamation mark. Big Ass Spider. One of these is not like the others. No way. Surprisingly, it was not a sci-fi original. I was... really optimistic about you know, as I find originals aren't that self aware. Yes, and then Gigi Saul Guerrero, who did the
short El Gigante, which I think was on Shutter once upon a time. It might still be and was an actor in BHS 1985 and I still need to see that, but that one also has a really good reputation. So and there is at least one Texas flag in the trailer in the back and I'm so for this. This looks like a lot of fun. I'm not sure this is going to paint our state in the best of lights. You might want to piss yourself. Then coming up on March 14th, we have a to be movie. Romy
from Canada, forced to hide out in a state of the art smart home. A young woman on the run is terrorized by Romy. It's sinister digital assistant. There's no word of Michelle or any high school reunions. This feels like every other movie where AI, at Romy and Michelle's wedding, I got it. Right, no, I figured that I would at least get a guffaw from Melissa, but nothing, just crickets. Sorry, Romy and Michelle is just not my thing. I know it. That's
okay, I've never actually seen it. I was just taking the obvious hot shot. Anyway, all right. Anyway. As you were, yes. This does feel like- Spring break. Dr. Funk, don't give a fuuuuuck. And that's fine, but that's why we react to your cheap jokes with silence. Anyway, this does feel like one of those, you know, movies, AI bad AI terrorizes like, like
we've all seen it before. So I would really like, and I don't know why watching this trailer made me think this because it's some point watching this trailer, it was like, is Romy actually trying to help her there? There is like, I would love to see a movie where you think the AI is malicious. but actually is doing everything in the best interest of protecting the person. It is a to be movie. Like in a twist, psychological sort of way, or in an the AI is trying, but
it's just so stupid that it's accidentally making things worse kind of way. Cause that's kind of the vibe that I had from this trailer. Okay. Yes. Oh. Well I could. I can think of a bunch of evil computer evil AI movies, but I can't think of a lot of them that are haunted houses. And that's basically what this is. They're out there, but I mean, you know, it's been a little while since I've seen one. So that's two genres that you'd think would have been combined by
now. So I can just picture it like, you know, horrible millennial couple buys an old Victorian haunted house. They smart house it up the wazoo, the ghosts don't take kindly to it, and there's all this technology that they can use to screw with them. Yes. That can be played for comedy or horror. So there was, and this is going to kill me and I'm going to have to find it and I'll tell everybody next week what it was, but there was a movie where evil AI and things
like that were happening. And it was the most kick-ass movie I've ever seen. And all I remember was it being very red. Like. like in color and I literally cannot remember anything else about the movie. I remember that it was bad ass. I remember I loved it. And I remember it was
just very red. Was it foreign in any way? Cause I think I remember, cause we've talked about evil AI houses like in the coming soon before, and I remember one of them being red, but I can't remember the name of it or if there's any way that it's the same thing that you're cause this is ringing a dim bell. Well, and it might be foreign. I don't remember. And it's, I just remember, you know how you think about movies and you just remember how they
made you feel? Like that's kind of what I'm getting from it. And I just cannot remember the name. And now like watching this trailer makes me want to find it. So I am going to find it and I will tell you, but yeah. Was it, was it Ex Machina? No. No? No. I looked that up. just because I thought it might be, but it was not. Yeah, that was my first thought. Do you know the era, like how old we're talking about? We're maybe talking about early 2000s
to late 2000, like 2001 to 2013. And it was one guy trapped somewhere in a house that was like AI controlled. I don't know. I'm gonna figure it out and then we'll talk about it. On an unrelated note, my parents, Alexa, has started malfunctioning and just turning on by itself. And it's getting increasingly unsettling by the day. That is terrifying. Maybe the sun is out of my office so she can't hear me, but it's getting to the point where we may need
to do something about it. She just randomly chimes in, tells us about the weather, starts playing Axl Rose. started saying something about China once and we just cut that off right away. That's that's proving the alt-right or sprite in a way that I don't want to happen. Yeah, we don't have one, but we do have the smart lock on the door and that, you know that has some potential. I think there was a bit in scream the scream six about that. Or scream five maybe.
Anyway, whichever one is recent enough that smart locks could have been a thing in it. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, and then on March 20th on Netflix, there's something in the barn from Norway and Finland. See, this is the one that I thought was the Tooby movie. Sorry. American family fulfills their dream of moving back after inheriting a remote cabin in the mountains of Norway. There may or may not be evil gnomes in this movie. So that's the thing in the barn.
It's a, it's a bar. Like I've sacrificed and unwelcome had a baby. It's so, I can't wait to watch this. It looks amazing. Like it seems at least a little more aware of what kind of movie it is. And either of those two other movies, cause those other two movies were not good. But, um, that that's the DNA that it has. I can't wait. It's, it's like, it's kind of like leprechaun, but Christmas and a no. It's amazing. It's Norway. Nothing bad ever happens here.
Oh my God. I can't wait for this one. I just hope somebody calls. It's clearly just a dwarf standing on the hood of their car, whacking it with an axe. It's amazing. It's going to be, it's going to be hard. And honestly, like the first bit of the trailer was kind of creepy. So like, I really feel like this has the potential to be funny but also scary, like at the same time. And I live for that stuff. Kind of like the Evil Dead. I just hope somebody calls somebody
else Texas. That just, I really want to see that. And not in like an English sentence, but like full Norwegian yelling subtitles and then Texas. Like, clear as day. is apparently that's a Norwegian slang term for crazy. And I'm fine with that. I'm leaning all the way into that. Yeah. It's not unearned. Also, while we were talking about this, I figured out the name of the movie. So it was Tau, T-A-U. It actually stars Maika Monroe from It Follows
and Gary Oldman. How? I never heard of this movie. I have no idea. It is incredible and I loved every second of it. So I definitely recommend it. And the fact that it has, and it was 2018. So I was right about it being a little bit later, 2000. Yeah. Gary Oldman voices the evil computer dude. Yes. How have I never heard of this? I have no idea. Cause all I remember, it was one of my favorite things that came out that year. And I think I watched it
with Dan and Dan loved it too. There you go. So. I recommend watching it. Okay, there you go. I'm adding that to my list. So, okay, who wants to go first? Haunted bathtub, hustling medium, or Mexican exorcisms? I'll go first if that's okay. Haunted bathtub, bring it. Haunted bathtub, okay. So I actually did two shorts, and I'm actually gonna do the plague first because I have a little bit less to say about the plague because everything that I'm
gonna say about the plague is kind of spoilery. So less to say just because I don't want to ruin it. So The Plague is a short from 2017. It is directed and written by Guillermo Carbonell. He was the one that was one of the producers on Evil Dead 2013, which is kind of why I found that and looked it up. This is Country of Origin is Uruguay. It was funny because when I saw Evil Dead on the list This this is very much a. Risen from the dead movie, but not in a
way I've ever seen it done before. And I feel like that does give a little bit of spoilers, but the problem is, it's 10 minutes. So how do you not without, you know, messing everything up? So it's about this woman who she hears a noise at her door. It turns out that her father has escaped from the nursing home again, apparently again, and he's taken a bath in the bathtub. And then all of a sudden these strange men come in to try to capture him. And it is the weirdest
thing. And actually the part that disturbed me the most was the fact that he wasn't... He got killed and got up again, right? He wasn't mean. he wasn't eating people, he just looked distressed and he looked like he just wanted to hold his daughter. And at the end, it seems like something much bigger is happening here, but there's not really any explanation which makes it even creepier. Like the ending really sold me on the whole thing because I can imagine
being in this place where you die, but you don't die. Like people are dying, but they just don't die. And that is terrifying. And to think about being trapped in this world and not being able to leave it is really scary, especially because you don't know what's happening or what's going on or why this is happening. You don't know who these men are. And it was incredibly unsettling, but also again, really sad because of the desperation of him reaching out for his daughter. And that
made it a little bit of a hard watch. And here's the problem at the ending with me. I love when things are. Ambiguous a bit, I love when my brain can make up the big bad. I would have loved to see where he was going to go after this. I feel like this is a whole movie waiting to happen. I didn't have enough information to process what was going on, but I don't know if that would have made the short worse or not. I'm in this very weird spot with it. Cause
a lot of times these short movies are, you know, proofs of concept. So they're, they are kind of teasers in a sense, and that can work if you get the, the movie deal, but if you don't. then it's just sort of hanging there. You know? Yeah, and so a lot of the shorts, I feel like at least have some kind of explanation or resolution enough for like, things happen enough where I can process it, be scared, understand what they were going for. Like, and that, you know,
that is what I got with Antique. I really like- There's a complete experience. Exactly. I just wish. There's a piece of me that wishes I got to know more about it. And there's another piece of me that wishes I don't get to know more about it because I don't know if that's
going to make the experience better or worse. Yeah, but I think it's worth a watch. I do think that somebody could take this idea or I hope that he takes this idea one day and expands on it because I've never really seen a movie where you have had a dead human that just doesn't die. they're always zombies or they're ghosts or, you know, they're being, you know, possessed or whatever. Closest I can think of is Edgar Allan Poe's case of in Voldemort.
And it's really debatable that was actually just a zombie thing. It was just written before we knew what zombie things were. So, yeah. Well, and it's just weird to have a zombie, that's not a zombie. And it was just a very interesting concept. Um, and again, because it looked like he was in anguish, not like he was angry or trying to take people down. Um, and he's not wandering around going free. No, no. And so, um, it still has that fundamental, like, this
is not a thing that should be happening quality to it. Like, it still has that creep factor. Just relatively unexplored way thematically. And like, And the reason that a lot of zombies, especially Zomcom's work is because the zombies are so expendable, you know, you don't feel anything for them because they're just walking around brains. Yeah. So there's a punchline. The other at that point. Right. Exactly. And if you take that away, then it's a very different
experience. Yeah. And, and then I feel like then the horror comes from not being scared. of whatever it is that's happening. It comes from being fearful of what's going to happen to them and putting yourself in the position of, oh my God, like what's going on with me. So really liked it, highly recommend. But what I was really, that was kind of down on my list.
I was just kind of going through, antique was the one I wanted to do. Okay, so antique. Um, Angelica loves everything old fashioned and vintage, but when she buys an antique bathtub from a dead person's estate, she learns that some old things have more soul than others. Um, written and directed by Morten Halls-Rutt. And I'm so sorry, I'm probably pronouncing these names horribly. I apologize. This is from Norway. So we have another Norway gem here.
So first of all, I don't know if you've ever seen bathtubs with clawed feet. but that's what this was. It was a very old antique bathtub with metal blocks. Never in person, but I'm familiar with the concept. I've watched enough old movies to picture it. It is. I'm trying to think if I've seen one in person or not. I don't think I have. They have them in Italy. So like when I went to see my family, they have bathtubs like that there. They are beautiful
and they can really enhance a bath when they're not haunted. Um, so you recognize right away that Angelica really doesn't enjoy newer technology. So she goes to buy this antique bathtub and she was like, thank you so much. And he's like, I'm just happy to get rid of it. And he goes, you can Venmo me 50 bucks. And she goes, actually, can you just take cash? She's like, yeah, sure. Okay. So here she's buying this old ass bathtub. He, she's, and I think they made the. point
to say Venmo for two reasons. Number one, so it shows her kind of a version at this point for technology. And number two, to show that we're still in a time period where technology doesn't exist. So we are still in the same timeframe. Yeah. And she brings it back. Well, I gotta tell you, I started carrying cash like for a week last week, and it's a magical experience.
It makes everything so much easier. Yeah. I just, I was gobsmacked. Yeah. Like I have never bothered with Venmo just because I live in a part of the world where Venmo might as well be, you know, non-existent. So, I mean, I say part of the world. I live like 50 miles north of you guys, but rural East Texas is a different part of the world from Houston. Let's be real
here. It is. Yes. But my point is I can relate to this lady. Like. If someone tells me to Venmo them, I'm just going to look at them and be like, um, no. So, so she brings this bathtub back to a cabin, which we realized it's either, uh, her and her partner's cabin or her family's cabin. I wasn't very clear on that part and it doesn't really make two, you know, Philippines a difference. So the cabin where the thing happens. Exactly. So her partner is calling her. on
her cell phone and she just kind of tucks it away in a drawer. Doesn't look at it. She wants to have a relaxing evening with no electronics. So she lights candles all around this bathtub and she puts on a record player. While I understand the appeal of, you know, that old timey feel, how about we don't do it in the cabin, in the woods, in the dark. with an old antique that you just bought from somebody who died with no other lights on or anything. Come on, come
on. Well, now wait a minute, hang on, hang on. So how much time did she spend hauling the heavy ass, you know, cleft bathtub into the truck and then out of the truck and into the cabin? Because those things are heavy, right? We don't really see that portion of it. We just- I feel like that's like- That's why the guy's trying to get rid of him for 50 bucks, because it's heavy and he doesn't want to deal with it. Oh, yeah. Forget the spirits. I realize
I'm the only person here that regularly plays video games. So this reference is going to go right over y'all's heads. But I have to say anyway, wait a minute. I don't own a bathtub. And that's how Shantae gets captured in one of the games anyway. Now, here's the thing. It could have been that she and her partner put it up there. And this is a week later. There's no real like it. time differential here. Anyway, record players start skipping. And
this is why I never use record players anymore. Cause that shit used to scare the F out of me. Cause why are you skipping? Why are you skipping? And I know it could be the needle is dirty. And I, it could be a scary ghost. Exactly. So she's. She's also really kind of hesitant to get in this water, which makes me feel weird for her. And when the scary starts in this, it is terrifying because all she has are these candles. And when she is screaming
and things are happening, that blows out the candles and you can't find anything. It is pitch black. So she's like light in matches to see what's going on. And we see faces. It was terrifying. I'm trying, can I do this without spoilers? I don't know how, so I'm just gonna, again, it's a short. So do you guys mind if I spoil it? Well, how about Grady and I will watch it for next week? Because if it's a short, we can, yeah. That usually works pretty well.
But, so the ending is one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. And this would be like the worst thing imaginable to happen to me. and I highly, highly recommend this. That's weird. Those are my... Two shorts. So I ran through two. One I highly, well, one I recommend. The other one, I don't. So the wheel gave us Beelzebub last time. And this is from Mexico and the United States. After a personal tragedy, a police detective investigates a school massacre committed by
a student. And then another massacre are the three tragedies linked to demonic possession. This. I loved it. And it was also, ah, like, you know, so it had big procedural energy, you know, the first half of the movie, the cops are trying to figure this out and it has big X-Files energy because it has the one cop that's a skeptic and has the other cop that is into all this supernatural paranormal, like religious stuff and their back and forth is super convincing.
There's a piano riff. The music felt. very X files and it was, they did a really, really great job of being disturbing without being overly graphic. Like especially at the beginning, the thing that happens is really disturbing, but they do it in such a way that it's it like it, it breaks. It suspends disbelief for just enough for you to know, Oh, to remind you, this is a movie. Like the way they stage the shots and everything, but it's also creepy
as all get out and it goes way further than a lot of American movies would. It reminded me a lot of the first season of True Detective because they do the same thing like they're investigating really macabre messed up shit, but they do it without being super in your face and gory and graphic about it. And this walked a real similar line. Everybody owns
it in the acting even though some of the lines are kind of crazy. Joaquin Cocio who plays the main detective He was in Narcos, Mexico. He wasn't the main narco, but he was one of the narco lieutenants. And he's been everywhere in Mexico for years. He has a really, really long IMDB list. This guy knows what he's doing. And it also has Tobin Bell, AKA Jigsaw, who does- Love Tobin Bell. Oh my God, I will watch anything he's in. He shows up and I was like,
I know that guy. Where do I know that guy from? And it's, oh, duh, Jigsaw, you know? The problem with it, it goes like the first half, they're looking for, there are all these, these heinous tragedies that keep happening and it's procedural, it's super hard boiled, it feels very malignant, almost kind of jallow. And the procedural, when they're going through the evidence and they're showing all the paranormal stuff is really, really scary. Then they find what they're looking
for and it kind of pivots in the second half to a more traditional exorcism flick. And it still works. It just doesn't work quite as well because the hard boiled procedural was working super duper well for me. It was scary, it was creepy, it was, and the exorcism, like it was fine. It just wasn't nearly as good, I didn't think. And so that jump from the first half to the second half, that's not a choice I would have made, you know? And that's a bummer, you
know? But. It still goes there. It's still well acted. It's still well shot. It's still, you know, still a good movie. It just goes from a great movie to an all right movie. And that's, you know, kind of a bummer. I hate when that happens. I hate when you have such a good, like, great first half and you're so into it and then. It just sucks. Well, and it's, it's like, you can clearly tell when it happens, you know, and it was like, it's almost like
two movies mashed together. I was going to say like, there's, there's always like specifically in that particular, you know, instance where you have like a great movie that morphs into an operate movie, there's always a clear defining line of where one ends and the other starts. And I hate that. Yeah. It just. It was frustrating, you know? And it's fine, like the ending, the exorcism scene itself is pretty grisly and satisfying, but it just, it wasn't nearly as good as the
first half, you know? So, and it's a little bit too long. Like they were on track for a 90 minute movie, and then when they made that jump, they needed more time and it sort of got stretched out. So. I don't know, you know. It's enjoyment. I would put it at a four. It's just it could have been, you know, the quality. I got to split it down the middle, you know, three, maybe three and a half, because it could have been great, but it was really good. I
I'm just conflicted, you know, and terascale is probably a three or four. Yeah, I considered watching this movie as in addition to mine, so that I could Talk about it. And when I tried to get to it today, I saw the runtime. 117 minutes. OK. Yeah. Nope. Yeah. No, it's no. So it was a bummer, but it was also good. So it's sort of a mixed bag, but you know, I definitely
liked it. And I loved Malignant. I loved that season of True Detective, which incidentally it's been a few weeks, but it did get renewed for a fifth season with Issa Lopez out there at the helm. Yeah, I'm really happy about that. I'm glad it got renewed. I'm glad they're keeping Issa Lopez because that proves that the... toxic buzz around it really was just a vocal minority.
Cause like streaming services, especially Max are profit driven machines. So if he's a little pisses true detective, wasn't pulling the numbers, they'd have canceled it or they'd have meekly handed it back to the patriarchy. And the fact that they didn't feel the need to do either one is good. And a little bond that Jodie Foster is not attached to it, which I mean, we knew she probably wouldn't be anthology series, but still. It's good. Well, and on some level,
not to trigger Melissa, but no publicity is bad publicity. No. And so you could, I could imagine some cynical HBO execs thinking, yes, let them fight on Twitter, you know, it'll just get up more views. Bring in the kind of numbers that true detective season four apparently brought in, like it'll bring in some numbers, but not like most highest rated thing on HBO Max this year numbers. Yeah. And actually the. It had higher numbers than the first season
of True Detective streaming numbers. And now granted that may have been the time or whatever, but like shoot, I'm really excited, especially because season two and season three, had not really great reviews, season two mainly and season three, eh. So to have a series that kind of was iffy, and so-so on the second and third season to have the fourth season do so, so well, I think is great. And maybe it is, maybe it was drummed up by the fact that, you
know, Nick said that. Well, there are people involved who were happy to have the discussion in the news, let's put it that way, and on Twitter. So, well, since it's been a little while, I also have another one, and this one, So a colleague of mine on the film study side, we're doing a paper, need to actually write it because that's what the deadlines in April. But on popular like film portrayals of podcasters, because most of my research looks at podcasting and
most of what she does is film study stuff. And one of the movies where podcasting plays a big prominent role, we've got some good, you know, so Vengeance is on there. The 2018 Halloween is on there, only murders in the building, obviously. There's some good stuff on that list. Movies and TV shows. But Tusk was also on the list. Oh, my God. I should have known it was Tusk. And I said, I've been looking for an excuse to watch Tusk. So I'll take that. Um. Yeah.
I'm going to ask you the same question you asked me when I did rubber. Why? You had to know what you were getting into. Well, I, so yeah. So it's 2014, it's Kevin Smith and it's Justin Long. And Justin Long can do a really good job and he does own it in this movie. He gives it 150%. But this was- Kevin Smith though has not been a seal of quality. since we've been
in college, Marcus. I'm sorry to be the one to say that. I'm sure we'll get haters, all sorts of hate, muskograms or whatever it's called now from the remaining two fans Kevin Smith has left. But... I mean, it, Dogma was a masterpiece. Dogma was a master. It really was. A really well thought out, remarkable leaf. Not saying that Kevin Smith didn't have his heyday, not saying there's a... There's not a reason he's famous, I'm just saying that reason is long
in the past. Yeah, this was bad. So the summary here, a brash and arrogant podcaster gets more than he bargained for when he travels to Canada to interview a mysterious recluse who has a rather disturbing fondness for walruses. And because I'm an idiot, I thought, oh, well, body horror, Justin Long. That could be fun, right? And no. Did you, did you watch the trailer? Or did you read any of the reviews when it came out trailers or watch any of the reviews? I
did not watch the trailer. I knew it was not greatly reviewed, but yeah. So, and from the paper. Did one of the Thompsons show me the trailer? Cause I've seen the trailer. And I would have thought that the trailer had come from you, but perhaps not. I don't think so.
Yeah. So from the podcasting perspective, from the paper's perspective, he, you know, in 2014, podcasting was not quite, that was when serial came out, that was when it hit the mainstream, but before that, most of the conversation was, well, actually I'm going to correct you on a podcast about such and such, or I'm just going to be a enormous dick about literally everything. And that's the podcaster in this movie. Nearly as much as changed as you would like.
Well, the whole, the argument is he was a walrus before because he was just a braying douchebag and now he's literal. So like we can get a couple of lines in the paper that'll, that'll be all right. But the movie, I, the movie, oh my God, this movie was bad. This movie was bad. It was even, I have seen. the movie he made after this, which is yoga hosers, which is also bad, but it, he made it almost entirely because his daughter wanted to be in a movie and his daughter
is friends with Johnny Depp's daughter and they wanted to make a movie. So he figured, okay, I don't give two fucks anymore. Let's just make this stupid movie so I can hang out with my kid and her best friend and like, okay, I get that. I'm here for that. It's a bad movie, but like I get your premise. I get your rationale. I'm not going to. not going to knock you for that. This one had his daughter and Johnny Depp's kid in it, but only briefly. And it was clearly
not about them. And it just, it, oh God. So it's, it just feels like your kid nephew's boring inside joke that nobody gets like the humor doesn't land. There are only so many jokes about Canadian hockey and being obsessed with hockey that you can hear before you're just like, why there is no horror. They just, they do all the body horror stuff off camera, or it's just so preposterous that it doesn't even work. Characters are all annoying. Every
single one of them, especially Johnny Depp, who is not from Quebec. And I don't get it. Literally nothing about this movie. I got my review on Letterbox says, Goo Goos snooze. He is the walrus Goo Goos snooze. Watch Barbarian. Stop that, Melissa. Don't encourage him. Don't feel silence. Watch Barbarian, Justin Long is great. Or watch, you know, dogma or Kevin Smith's good movies. But this one, hard, hard pass. And it was weirdly sad at the end. Like it
got weirdly downer at the end. Like they didn't even make it a consistent comedy. It was, it was, it was bad. Yeah. It did not like. Yeah, that's. It sucked. An odd choice. Yeah, long being turned into a walrus. Yeah. And by the way, I don't understand how this is Canadian because it wasn't shot in Canada. It was shot in North Carolina. And it's one of those movies where it's just you can tell because every shot is way too sunny. There's no snow. None of
the trees look like they could handle a Canadian winter. And it just maybe it's just because I'm from the south. But like I can see a movie and be like, no. This was shot in the South, wasn't it? This is, yes. And I don't, so between the director being American and the filming location being American and most of the stars being American, like I don't understand how this is even eligible for this podcast. And it just, it bothers me. Very fundamental level.
Did Canada pay them to not film it there because they didn't want to be associated with it? And that was just enough money. to push the funding cap on IMDb to put Canada first? Maybe. Because that would make sense. Okay, I gotta ask. And if you have seen Barbarian, you will understand the would you rather I'm about to say. And if you haven't, you should go watch
Barbarian. But would you rather watch Tusk over and over again and have it be the only movie that you see for like two weeks or the part in Barbarian where Justin Long breastfeeds. over and over again in a loop. Um, the breast is, yeah. Is the ball bad at one option? This was bad. This was like, can I choose death? You can choose death. Death, please. This was, and it's not Justin Long. He commits like, and I'm here for him as a scream king.
This was just garbage. Unapologetic garbage. Good to know. So you don't recommend watching it. No, I recommend that you watch it, Melissa. You and only you. Because I'm sure you will make me watch something awful sooner or later. So I can, but no, please don't. Please no one watch this. Watch Dogma instead. Fair enough. My apologies to the two remaining Kevin Smith
fans. I was a little mean to you earlier. I admire your dedication. So, so I'm not going to say anything about Kevin Smith because, you know, his store is, is in New Jersey and he sometimes is in there. So you get to meet him sometimes and, and he's, he's New Jersey. And so I can't really be like, Kevin Smith. I'd love to have a conversation with him. I'm sure he's a super interesting guy. Like I'm not ragging on him. It's just, he clearly doesn't give
a shit anymore. And that's fine, but I'm not gonna watch movies if you don't care anymore. Yeah, no, like I'd love to meet the guy. I just really hope he doesn't listen to this specific episode of the podcast. Because he is, otherwise we are going to meet and he is going to reenact the ending of J and Silent Bob Strike Back on me. And that would be funny, but no, it would be funny. Nevermind. Let's do this.
Well, you know, you guys ever want to come take a trip to my home state with me? I will show you the places where he hangs out and bring it to his store. I mean, all New Jerseyans know each other. That's the lesson to take away from this week's episode. No, New Jersey just happens to be really small. And so even though we have so many people, they're just like shoved
into one little area. So you all know each other. If you ever want to know what Snooki's like in real life, just ask Melissa, she'll tell you. I'm not gonna say anything to that, and most of the people on Jersey Shore were not from Jersey. What a shitty idea. They were Bennies! So Extraordinary. Unless you have more to say about Walruses. It was
hot garbage. Don't watch it. Okay. Oh my god. So the TV Trump summary. Rose, a mostly sweet and lonely Irish driving instructor, must use her supernatural talents to save the daughter of Martin, also mostly sweet and lonely. from a washed up rock star who was using her in
a satanic pact to reignite his fame. That sounds amazing. The rock star is played by Will Forte, who was on Saturday Night Live for a while and was clearly not from an era of Saturday Night Live where I was paying any sort of attention because I'd never heard of him before I watched this movie. Really? Yeah. I love Will Forte. But he was good in this. He was by far the funniest part. but just so evil and also really bad at being evil. He was, I saw most of last
man on earth, which was the sitcom that ran for a while. Maybe he hasn't aged super well post pandemic because it was about a pandemic that wipes out like 99.9% and the survivors are all weird. Yeah. Fair enough. But that's not his fault. No. Anyway. This is gonna be kind of a short review because it's kind of difficult to be particularly verbose about a good comedy without just saying it's funny and then ruining all the jokes by talking about
why they work. But this was pretty good. It also stars Maeve Higgins and Barry Ward as Rose and Martin and they're good. Parts of it. lean a little too heavily on cringe comedy for my taste, which isn't necessarily my bag. I enjoyed the first 30 to 45 minutes of this movie significantly less when I rewatched it today to refresh myself on it than I did the first time. But, like, that's kind of a personal thing for me. Like, if you like cringey, awkward
stuff in your comedies, this is a great one. This is your gold mine. I'm thinking if you like future man, you'll like this. Yes. Yeah. This has future man energy. This has the office, if it was about paranormal activity energy. Yes. It's maybe not as meta as future man, but it's got office written all over it. Yeah. Like there are some bits in this that are just
Magnificent. Like I know I said, I wouldn't explain the jokes too much, but like pretty much all of Christian, which is the name of the character, will forte plays like pretty much all of his attempts at being menacing just fall flat on their face in just such hilarious ways. Like he needs to find a virgin for the sacrifice. So he gets out this dowsing rod that looks like, well, you can see my screen name and You can guess. He just says this deeply
ominous Latin while holding the giant wooden dildo. And then he flings it. And then he walks three feet in the direction that it lands, picks it up and just does it again. And finally his wife just breaks down and says, will you leave the house first? Oh yes, that would be a good idea. Oh my God. So this is the kind of energy that most of the movie has. Nice. Yes. And they milk that whole premise for as far as they could possibly take it. And then some. Well,
the whole. Yes, I'm just going to say yes, the I remember laughing my ass off at the ending because it was kind of cringe, but a self referential funny way that, you know. Yeah. And one thing I will say, like. I think this is in the trailer, so I'm not spoiling too much shit, but most of what Martin does is get possessed by ghosts. And a lot of this just kind of hinges on Barry Ward's ability to just play multiple characters and just kind of ham it up. And he does a really
good job of that. Like it's felt like watching an Irish Jim Carrey at points. Like he was that good. Nice. Yeah. Was it scary at all? Or just. Was it scary? Or. No, okay. I didn't think so. No. This is A1 with an asterisk on the terror scale. It's not scary. It's not
trying to be... There is one moment where Christian turns out to be a lot more evil than the rest of the movie has been building him up towards, building him up to be, but that happens just so quickly and the shock value is just so over the top and the character it happens to is so unsympathetic that it just lands. It's funny. Yeah. Nice. And quality and enjoyment. I'm giving it a four and a five respectively. This was great. Yeah. Emily and I watched this at
some point. I think during the pandemic, maybe not maybe just sometime before Bebe, but we both thought it was, my recollection is we both thought it was really funny. Emily, I thought it was funnier than she did, but you know, it's still, it's still really worked for us. Yeah. I'm gonna have to watch it. Like. The old timey, like, late 80s, early 90s instructional videos used to explain, like, how ghosts work and, like, all the world buildings. That was good
too. Like, that got a laugh out of me. Possessions and you! That's what happens when you try to wake a possessed person! Every 80s informational video ever. Yep. It was great. Very self aware. So we'll sweet. Well, before we move on, uh, I want to start doing this because I've noticed when I'm listening to podcasts, somebody will say the name of the movie and I'll miss it. And then they'll keep going and I'll be like, Oh, well, that sounds like something I would
want to watch, but then I can't, you know, catch the title of it. And they do this on the bloody disgusting podcast. And I want to steal it. I have problems with that with our own podcasts. Like when I, and brainstorming ideas for thumbnails. I have to text you guys and say, Hey, what were your movies called again? Well, yeah. And so I guess I wasn't paying attention. I'm just
really bad at remembering titles. Yeah. Well, and I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts that will talk about, you know, where they got their information from books or movies or whatever. And I'm like, wait a second. No, I want it. And then I have to go find this section in the podcast, and it's really hard sometimes. Well, so it's also in our show notes. I make sure all the names are in. But before we move on, what did we watch? How did we watch it?
So I watched The Plague and I also watched Antique, spelled A-N-T-I-K-K, and they are both streaming on YouTube. One is on Alter, Antique, or The Plague is, rather, and Antique you can just find on YouTube. Sweet. I watched, what did I watch? I watched. Great idea, Marius. Wow. Way to go. Anyway, I watched Belzebuth on Shudder, but I think it's also available on VOD. It is a Shudder exclusive. And I watched Tusk on VOD. I actually
paid money for it, and I do not recommend you do that. That makes it even better. Seems like a mistake. I even thought, because I ordered something on Amazon. And I deferred it a couple of days because you can do that. It says, we'll give you a buck and a half worth of Amazon credit. And so I thought, okay, well, I'll do that. And, you know, this rental will be free or it'll be like 99 cents or something. Nope. This was not in the umbrella of, you know,
discounts you can get for deferring packages. Yeah. Amazon doesn't want to be associated with this. I don't think anybody wants to be associated with this film. I watched Extraordinary. It is a Shutter exclusive. Nice. Woot! Alrighty. Y'all know what time it is? Wheel time! You know what time it is? You know what time it is. Wheel. Okay. Alrighty. Oh god. This one. This one might be one that barely counts. Did the Wyrl realize
I sculpted tofu in the shape of a goat this week? Oh god. I'm sorry. Um, so I think, I think it didn't, I think it recognized that we, uh, we made a little vegetarian. It's not our fault. We couldn't find a goat. So I, I'm not a hundred percent sure this counts. It's on hiya. It's also on to me. I realized neither of those are ringing endorsements. It's, it's called the legend of the demon cat taking place in the Tang dynasty, a demon cat appears and
breaks the peace of Chang'an city, causing a series of strange events. Poet can't pronounce that name, and monk not gonna try, I'm so sorry China. Join hands to investigate the death of the emperor's concubine, Lady Yang, by following the trail left by the cat. So, um, I guess I'll take this one. I usually the one that yeah. Okay. Well, so hold up. So, I mean, IMDB doesn't actually say it's horror. I will admit I put it on the wheel just because of the name. Yep.
If we, if we try to dispute the wheel, think of what it'll do next. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say is like. We have families, Marcus. And we have angered the wheel before. We'll do to them. Listen, I what we're going to do. That's how we got Chuck Steel, Marcus. Do we want another Chuck Steel? No. I don't remember pissing the wheel off for Chuck. I think it just came after us. Unfairly. Wheel. He didn't mean that. Don't, you're not unfair. You're
not. And we're sorry about the tofu. We will watch this and we will praise you. Hail, Wheel. Alright. Well, if you're still listening, and you're not staring at your speakers going, why exactly? What are these idiots on about? Um, anyway, leave us a review on your podcast player of choice. Follow us on Twitter, follow us on threads, follow us on Letterboxd. and tell your friends,
you know, tell anybody you know that's super into horror. We got a lot coming up in the next couple of weeks because on the 22nd late night with the devil and immaculate, both hit theaters. So stoked for that. Really, really excited. So, and we will talk to y'all later.