"Send Ben a text" What is your present? This is where you have power and control. What you think about your past or your future is in the present. You have the power to control how you will think about your past and future from now on. What you currently think and believe creates how you feel and act, which determines your current reality and results. We are creating our future right now in the present by the way we think, feel, and behave. How you feel in regards to your past or future is deter...
Dec 10, 2020•22 min•Ep. 26
"Send Ben a text" What is your past? Your past self only exists in your mind in the form of memories. All those moments in the past that you are proud of, or maybe a little ashamed of, only exist in memory form. You get to decide what your past means in your life. You get to define how your past influences your present. You get to decide the story that you tell about your past. Your past self has created your current patterns, habits, and circumstances. Your past-self did the very best that they...
Dec 03, 2020•25 min•Ep. 25
"Send Ben a text" Look for opportunities instead of obstacles. Early in 2020, I followed a lot of the narrative about how bad 2020 was turning out to be. Inadvertently, I started believing all of the talk and I started seeing all of the obstacles. Before I knew it, I was down, depressed, worried, and convinced that 2020 was indeed the worst year ever. Luckily I started looking for the opportunities instead of the obstacles. I realized that, thanks to some of the issues we've been facing in 2020,...
Nov 26, 2020•15 min•Ep. 24
"Send Ben a text" Managing your emotions is POWERFUL! Last week we talked about the power of managing YOUR OWN emotions. We discussed how it is an opportunity for you as a parent to turn tough parenting moments into powerful parenting moments. We talked about how managing your emotions will help you connect with your teen, teach by example, and be intentional in the way you parent. Today I wanted to dig in a little deeper and discuss How to Manage Your Emotions. 3 A's to help with emotion. Aware...
Nov 19, 2020•22 min•Ep. 23
"Send Ben a text" Emotionally Intentional Parenting is POWERFUL! Some parenting experts say, "You've got to parent WITHOUT emotion." I think that idea is SO WRONG! Our teens don't want to be parented by robots. they want parents who are emotionally invested. Rather than parenting without emotion, we need to parent with intention and control when it comes to our emotions. Most of people in the world think that how they feel is based on their circumstances. YOU HAVE THE POWER to turn challenging p...
Nov 12, 2020•28 min•Ep. 22
"Send Ben a text" What Do You Want? Most of us think we have a pretty good idea about what we want. When someone asks us, "What do you want for your birthday?" or "What do you want for Christmas?" we can usually come up with an answer pretty quickly. So, I want to do an exercise with you. This is an exercise that I have done with some of my past students, foster kids, my own kids, and often with my clients. Quick Exercise Step #1 Pause this episode and write a list of 10 things that you really w...
Nov 05, 2020•24 min•Ep. 21
"Send Ben a text" Why do you want to motivate your teen? This is a powerful question and one that I have to remind myself of often. I've found that when I want to motivate my teen, it's because I want him to do life differently. I want HIM TO CHANGE. This has been consistent with the parents who are looking for help motivating their teens. They want to motivate them to be different and to do things differently. It's important to be aware of what we really want when we want to motivate our teens....
Oct 29, 2020•29 min•Ep. 20
"Send Ben a text" Relationships are part of resilience! Resilience is a hot buzzword right now in education, which is making it be a hot buzzword in parenting too. This is great! It's important that we understand resilience and become more aware of what we are doing to increase our resilience. But, I worry that too many parents and teachers believe that they are not qualified to help our teens develop resilience. You are qualified! You have the tools to help your teen build resilience. In the ar...
Oct 22, 2020•26 min•Ep. 19
"Send Ben a text" How to discipline without drama. Keep Things in Perspective. Remember that challenging parenting moments are nothing more than learning and teaching opportunities. Look inward: What can you control? What is your role? How do you want to show up? Be emotionally intentional. Model emotional control This will help you build a rock-solid relationship This will solidify the message you are teaching. Focus on your role and be intentional. My role as a dad is to teach, coach, and supp...
Oct 15, 2020•23 min•Ep. 18
"Send Ben a text" Why is purpose so important? In Lewis Carroll's book, Alice in Wonderland, Alice comes to a fork in the road and asks, “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 'I don't much care where -' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat." Many parents have never really taken the time to explore their purpose as a parent, which is totally understandable. I mean, it's n...
Oct 08, 2020•23 min•Ep. 17
"Send Ben a text" What makes a conversation "difficult"? Parents tell me all the time that they don't like having "difficult" conversations with their teens. "I don't like confrontation," some say. Or, "I don't want to make them uncomfortable." So, let's get curious for a minute. What is it that makes a conversation difficult? It's what we think about it. It's what we think the other person is thinking about it. It's a million other thoughts, but it always comes down to our thoughts. It's not th...
Oct 01, 2020•35 min•Ep. 16
"Send Ben a text" This book is all about YOUR relationship with others. This is the #1 book that I recommend to others, parents, school leaders, EVERYONE! Tons of people say, "Oh, I don't like leadership books," or "I don't like self-improvement books." I get it, self-improvement books aren't for everyone; BUT, this book is different! It's actually a fable, a made up story just to teach a lesson, and it's so good. The first time I read it, it blew my mind! It completely changed my mindset and ho...
Sep 24, 2020•29 min•Ep. 15
"Send Ben a text" Control is Impossible This is a really hard one for parents, even myself. We have this natural desire to control our teens. Think back a decade or so, when our teens were young kids and smaller, we could control a lot of aspects of their lives. When we asked them to get in the car, if they said "No," we could simply pick them up and strap them in a car seat. We were in control. Mission accomplished: kid and car and securely strapped in with no chance of escape. Now, if your tee...
Sep 17, 2020•23 min•Ep. 14
"Send Ben a text" What is Connection? When I talk about connecting with your teen, I'm talking about YOU building YOUR relationship with them. You CANNOT control how your teen feels about you! You can do everything "right," only to have them hate and despise you. Connection is all about YOU controlling YOU and the things within YOUR control. How do you feel about your teen? How do you treat your teen, even when they are miserably difficult? Why Is Connecting Where They Are SO IMPORTANT!? When we...
Sep 10, 2020•29 min•Ep. 13
"Send Ben a text" What is Shame? “Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” ~Brené Brown “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ~Brené Brown Shame drives parents and teens apart and creates a belief that you’re not good enough. Emotion It’s a feeling caused by a thought (conscious or unconscious) It goes hand in hand with our personal narrative, inner dialogue, the stories we tell ourselves. When we feel shame, we...
Sep 03, 2020•31 min•Ep. 12
"Send Ben a text" "It ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward." ~Rocky Balboa Resilience for parents and teens. Parents worry that their teens are still struggling, worry that their teens don’t have resilience, worry that things are too hard. You and your teens are human, you are going to struggle. Developing resilience means that you are struggling, doing hard things, and getting stronger and bett...
Aug 27, 2020•27 min•Ep. 11
"Send Ben a text" Are you ready to send your teen back to school? “You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!” ~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go! A Little About Joey! Joey has been working with teens ever since he was one. Currently, he is a middle school teacher and counselor. Joey has also been a high school teacher, Sunday school teacher, seminary teacher, and teen improv instructor. He has professional training in acting for the stage, a ...
Aug 20, 2020•44 min•Ep. 10
"Send Ben a text" Why does struggling get such a bad wrap? Struggling has gotten a bad wrap. We seem to think that struggling is something that should be avoided. We are hardwired to avoid struggles and discomfort. This is just a basic part of being human. Our brains have evolved to minimize effort and maximize efficiency. Society and media look down on struggles. The truth about struggling. Struggling makes us stronger, more experienced, and more able to connect with others. Struggling isn't th...
Aug 13, 2020•26 min•Ep. 9
"Send Ben a text" What is a personal narrative, and what does it have to do with my teen? Personal narratives are the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves, others, and our circumstances. These narratives are tied to our thoughts and our beliefs, which then influence our feelings and actions. Our personal narratives as parents are often reflected and copied by our children. The stories we tell ourselves, our personal narrative, become our reality because we begin to believe them. Some o...
Aug 06, 2020•30 min•Ep. 8
"Send Ben a text" The Self-Coaching Model puts YOU in control. The most empowering thing about the model is that it gives you control. It helps you identify the things that are within your control and then helps you focus on those. The model helps you realize how many things you can control, and how all of them are connected you YOU! Too many of us, as parents, focus on things that are completely outside of our control. We focus on our teens and whether or not they obey, how they are thinking, h...
Jul 30, 2020•26 min•Ep. 7
"Send Ben a text" “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill (Though after searching the internet, I'm not sure he actually said this.) Too many teens think they are failing life. Often times our teens think that success is what they see on social media, TV, and the movies. They don't realize that life rarely looks that way. They don't realize that success if often ugly, boring, and embarrassing. Many teens are experiencing success...
Jul 23, 2020•33 min•Ep. 6
"Send Ben a text" #005- Parenting Life Coach, Ben Pugh in on a mission to help parents reconnect and build better relationships with their teens. These first 5 podcasts are a 5 Day Challenge that will do just that. The Day 5 Challenge will help you come up with actual steps that will help you make permanent change and improvement. Your plan will be short, doable, and custom fit for you. Join the 5 Day Facebook Challenge and Subscribe! https://benpughcoaching.com/challenge To get the shownotes fo...
Jul 13, 2020•17 min•Ep. 5
"Send Ben a text" #004- Parenting Life Coach, Ben Pugh in on a mission to help parents reconnect and build better relationships with their teens. These first 5 podcasts are a 5 Day Challenge that will do just that. The Day 4 Challenge will help you appreciate where you are right now, rather than wishing you were already at your goal. You’ll find that where you are is the perfect place to start, and that you have special strengths to help you achieve your goals. Join the 5 Day Facebook Challenge ...
Jul 12, 2020•8 min•Ep. 4
"Send Ben a text" #003- Parenting Life Coach, Ben Pugh in on a mission to help parents reconnect and build better relationships with their teens. These first 5 podcasts are a 5 Day Challenge that will do just that. The Day 3 Challenge will help you identify something you’re actually excited about, something that you actually believe you can do, actually want to do. Join the 5 Day Facebook Challenge and Subscribe! https://benpughcoaching.com/challenge To get the shownotes for this episode head to...
Jul 11, 2020•12 min•Ep. 3
"Send Ben a text" #002- Parenting Life Coach, Ben Pugh in on a mission to help parents reconnect and build better relationships with their teens. These first 5 podcasts are a 5 Day Challenge that will do just that. The Day 2 Challenge will help you gain even more clarity and make a bold statement that will help guide you as you go about the task of parenting. Join the 5 Day Facebook Challenge and Subscribe! https://benpughcoaching.com/challenge To get the shownotes for this episode head to: http...
Jul 10, 2020•14 min•Ep. 2
"Send Ben a text" #001 - Parenting Life Coach, Ben Pugh in on a mission to help parents reconnect and build better relationships with their teens. These first 5 podcasts are a 5 Day Challenge that will do just that. The Day 1 Challenge will help you gain clarity and purpose. Most parents have never taken the time to identify what their purpose is, or what they're really striving for. This exercise helps you gain that perspective. Join the 5 Day Facebook Challenge and Subscribe! https://benpughco...
Jul 09, 2020•28 min•Ep. 1
