Stop Chasing The Shiny Things with Jamie Lee Curtis

I've been waiting patiently to do my thing. Yeah, yeah. Biting my thing. And I have. I have so uh suited up and shown up for lots of different work. I did commercials when nobody I mean I I won an Oscar and I sold yogurt that made you show. Hey you Craig Robinson. Always good to be with you. Oh, it's so nice to be here. It's been raining a bit. You know, it has been and uh you speaking of rain, so you know we had the kids here, they're all gone, Kelly's gone. I'm I'm now by myself again.

Enjoying sitting outside of my Airbnb because I'm in No, it's I've been I've been inside, but I haven't had zero to do because my Airbnb has a pool table. Oh yeah. So I've been working on my game. Have you really? I've been working on it. Is it a good solid pool? Yeah, oh no. It's a real pool table. And I realize that I haven't played pool in forever, so I'm terrible. But it's it gives me something to do when I'm Yeah. place that you're staying. Yeah, it's uh Sorry, that's... Yes, yes.

Uh historical stuff inside and Do you know if it's been passed down? Like do they does Airbnb give you a bit of a history? Did you know that? Because how did you know that it was horse and Until I walked into the place. So when when uh our our the folks at Airbnb give me a couple to choose from and

Typically I choose the one that's closest to the office. Yeah. And that's what I did. I didn't really do much research. And then I walk in and there's memorabilia everywhere. It's really cool. Really cool. For for a Turner classic movie guy. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's like you're in heaven. Yeah. You are in heaven. I am in heaven. Speaking of the classic Our w our guest today is a classic

Beauty, uh personality, all the above. It's it's it's gonna be a great episode, y'all, but Craig is gonna do the formal introduction. Yeah, I'm gonna do the formal introduction uh for Jamie Lee Curtis, who is an actress known for her roles in many iconic films, including Halloween the Halloween franchise, A Fish Called Wanda, Freaky Friday, Knives Out, and most recently The Last Showgirl in Freakier Friday.

In twenty twenty three, she won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. And we got to say hello, and I am so looking forward to spending time with Jamie Lee Curtis. Come on. Yes, you go to her first. I maybe wasn't here before. Welcome to IMO. I like it. Hi. That was a nice introduction. How it's always weird for me. I'm sure it is. No, no, it's weird. Because you said the Halloween franchise. I was like, wasn't it franchise? It was a

Seventeen day shoot in the in Pasadena and Hollywood for three hundred thousand dollars in nineteen seventy eight. It wasn't a franchise. It was a gig. That was so great'cause my name was on every page. You know what I mean? I mean that's the new that was a good thing for me at that time. Yeah. 19, I was like, are you kidding? Yeah. So it's funny that it's I you listen, I'm sure you both have that. Where you hear, as we're a um older now, you hear things and you go, really?

That's m me I that's my life you agree. Will it? And you want people to s it's like okay, okay, that's enough. That's enough. Well yeah, it just doesn't you know why I don't relate to it. That's right. That's right. I honestly don't relate to any of it. Yeah. I only relate to sort of the immediate Moment here with you. I was at Children's Hospital Los Angeles before I came here. That became an immediate moment to me. I do not Look back.

It does but it speaks to your it speaks to your character too. Yeah, I was gonna say and You're not taking yourself like uh That's that's clear the second.

uh you meet someone meets you. I mean that was like, oh, she's real. Yeah. You know, I mean she's she's a a real person, a real woman. But that's so strange to me because It's a I understand that the industry that the whole concept is not real. That it's that m magical when you're talking about Orson Wells. I mean, that idea of you're a Turner classic movie nerd. Like you th that lore of what that is in Hollywood and the

Speakeasies. And yes, I know some of those houses in Hancock Park that had the speakeasy built into behind the wall. But I live the life of a human being. So I'm a chop wood carry water kind of gal. So I've never understood that. Th what the idea of not being real, of having some fake thing it would make me well a lot of people would say you are the you know you are the daughter of Hollywood, right? Of that image. But that's what people would say. What do you think?

Um kept you grounded in Janet Lee. Okay. My mother was from Stockton, California. Her name was Jeanette Helen Morrison. She lived in a garage with her parents. Um, and she became you know, it's too long of a story, but she was discovered by Norma Scheer, silent film star. who uh there was a photo it's a long story. There was a photograph of my mother at a motel where my grandfather was the manager of a ski motel at a ski resort in a not ski resort, at a ski place.

And Norma Shear was married to a skier and they stayed at this motel and saw the picture when she was checking out and said, Who's that? And he said, That's my daughter. She said, May I have the f picture? took it to Hollywood, they called for her. She became ch they ch she k became an actress, changed her name to Janet Lee, and starred in a movie with Van Johnson.

r right away in nine whatever year it was, nineteen forty-eight, I believe. And that began her career. But she was a v from a really rough childhood in Stockton, California. She raised me. I feel like I'm watching Turner Classic right now because see my sister doesn't know that you read you you d you did this on on Turner Classic to introduce The whole story of your mom and the I'm I've got goosebumps right now listening.

It's the you have to remember that was my mother. My mother was Jeanette Helen Morrison from Stockton, California. My father was Bernie Schwartz from New York City. Now, Bernie Schwartz. became Tony Curtis. Um He adopted the fake. Now he did it with bought mansions and art collections and had a kind of grandiosity about him. Was charming. Yeah. Uh if he walked in a room he would be a little bit like hello

And he would walk to tell, Hello, I'm Tom And you know, people would just be like, Oh and he lived a little bit like a prince. Yeah. So he lived this fake reality. Of course, died a drug addict. My mother lived a very real life and stayed real her whole life. Her book that she wrote was called There Really Was a Hollywood, which is tells you everything that for her. that idea of there was something magical that she then entered. Um, I grew up in Los Angeles, California on a dirt road with

with a donkey in a t stable that wasn't ours next door. You know what I mean? I grew up a Southern California kid. Yeah. Like you're talking about kid like I grew up not in a fancy life at all. Right, right. And so my mother is the Were you aware of who your mother was? You know what? You become aware of it. I'm I guarantee you I don't know about your family life, Craig. I didn't do my homework the whole day. But that's not true.

Chicago yesterday. So I did not do my homework, but I don't well I'm telling you just I I'm sure that your daughters have had to deal with the fact that people know who your parents are before you walk in a room. Or as you walk in the room. That's the first thing that is said. I understood that to some degree as I became Yeah. Yeah. I don't think as a kid I knew anything. But I think as a teen you That's about right. Yeah. You mm hmm you you understand there's something.

But remember there was no internet. Yeah. There was television. My mo my parents were movie stars, not television stars percent. And they didn't their movies didn't show on television. So it wasn't

Like I uh like they were in the movies and then the movies went away. Oh, sorry. Uh and then the movies left town or whatever their movie was and then they went on to the next one. So their fame, their their their um presence just became attached to me, but not because I had any clues to really what that meant, what they did.

I'm interested because I I think, you know, I am fascinated with parenthood and, you know, wh how people get things right and what do you know, and I'm just, you know, what did your mom do right? Um, in terms of your day-to-day, the messages that G s she sent to you that help keep you grounded. I think it was just the way she lived and just the way she interacted with people. I think she never lost that sense that she was

That it was a miracle that she became Janet Lee. And that impoverished childhood. She had a lot of sadness in her family life. Her father took his life. When she was first married with Tony Curtis, her father took his life. She had a lot of sadness. I think there was obviously alcoholism in the family. So she had secrets. I think I think though just that that was her

She was the nicest person. She would talk to every person. And um I think that just really it wasn't wasn't a specific thing. I mean, we grew up, as I said, in a very normalized life. We had, you know, Early, early bedtimes and chores and bikes and play that songs. And neighborhoods and neighborhoods and you know Th of a lot of fantasy play, but that's just what kids do. So I I think it was just the normalized life that she didn't um you know, but

I certainly didn't come up with this. Someone, way smarter than me, came up with it. That the being a parent. that if you're successful, it's the only thing you're successful at that ends in separation. Like everything else, you the whole success is based on They're not clutching it. The goal of a parent is to actually separate into separate ideologies, separate physical lives, and hopefully. There's nice interactions, but people are allowed to have their own minds because

Having your own mind is dangerous. Or to some it's perceived as dangerous. Well, it's dangerous because you're challenging just through the idea of having your own ideas. Is going to challenge the status quo. And that to me is the great gift of my evolution. Is that my mother's gift? Mm-hmm. Mm, I don't know. I don't know if my mother

would love the mind I have. Do you know what I mean? Like I may have challenged some of the like I guarantee you, right now, I can tell you right now, if my mother had been alive during everything everywhere all at once, she would not liked. I mean, I th I I don't think she would have liked the movie. And I mean I'm not speaking ill of my beautiful mother. I think that would have challenged every norm because in her years as an actress an actress meant

Very much about what you looked like and how women were perceived in their bodies. And I think my mother would have ch it would have been very challenging. Hey Meesh, you ever notice how even tiny choices can feel really personal? What we buy at the grocery store, the little preferences we don't want to budge on, it's not random. It's how we take care of ourselves and the people we love.

You and I both know our family has opinions about everything. And somehow those little choices end up saying a lot about who we are and how we care for people. You know about me and sardines, right? What about you and Sardick? Remember this. I I was I was I was hoping I'd catch you off guard with this. I love sardines, it's my comfort snack. I remember our dad loves sardines. And that's exactly right. And I enjoy eating them on a club cracker, but you remember him eating them on saltines?

Yes. With mustard. With mustard. That's exactly right. And I don't do the mustard anymore. Mm-hmm. You're not following tradition. No, but I I am also not following the saltine crackers. Do you remember the fact that we couldn't use Ritz crackers cause we had to save those for Special occasions. Yeah. Well, now I got all the salt, I got all the Ritz crackers I want. But it tasted really good, and he let me try it.

And I loved it. And now my kids prefer their chips and cookies, but it really feels good when Kelly grocery shops and she remembers to grab sardines just for me. And they're good for you. Yeah, yeah. So if I'm ever craving sardines. And Kelly or myself didn't grab'em at the store, I can appreciate having a way to get them delivered to me quickly. With shipped same day delivery, I have one less thing on my mental checklist, and I can trust I'll get exactly what I want.

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Thanks to Ship for sponsoring this segment. I think we're probably the first the the beginning of the first generation of women who Is pushing against the norm, the standard, the way women were raised to and conditioned to think about themselves, think about themselves in connection with the rest of the world, their place as women in the family.

Um because it was all orchestrated by men. Yes, exactly. So as soon as women started to understand that they could have their own mind, they could challenge. Um job equality. There's people who don't like that. Billy Jean, Effing King. That's right. That's right.

You know, that's a and it's a scary proposition to some of the men that are used to being in complete power. Of course. Yeah. It's like, don't have your own mind, have mine. Well, that's so what happens is we become a uh we become our own people. people because I'm not Tony Curtis. That's right. I don't walk around, hello. Yes, I'm Jamie. How are you? You know, but I'm flirty. Mm-hmm. like he was. You know, a wicked flirt. Yes. So you you

You know you develop pieces of Yes, you you you make your own life through the trial and error and experience of others and and a lot of error. Um So I don't think I think getting sober gave me a lot of that. I've been married gave me a lot of it. Being a parent gave me a lot of it. Um obviously, big time having. It's just awful. The word I don't like is accomplishment. It's like it's hard for me. So I am having a lot of external accomplishments at a very late age.

And when you asked what was the sort of causation, what were the factors? Yeah. I've been waiting patiently to do my thing. Yeah, yeah. Biting the time. I have I have so uh suited up and shown up for lots of different work. I did commercials. When no but I mean I I won an Oscar and I sold yogurt that makes you shit for six years. And it's a good laugh line and I use it a lot. But you have to remember I did commercials I was twenty. twenty six, twenty si twenty seven, maybe twenty eight.

I had done a fish called Wanda. Mm-hmm. One day my phone rang and they said, Hey. Kurtz rent a car. Somebody called me and said, hey, the they're looking for a female business executive to run through airports. Yeah. We you've been asked to do it. What? Why why did they understand that I can sell something? I don't know. I was an actress. I wasn't Jamie. I wasn't, I hadn't established

My Jamie Dum. Mm-hmm. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like I just was a young mom, a young act married person, and I have been in a couple of movies. Now you can imagine. when I was offered to do commercials for a probiotic yogurt that helps regulate your digestive system with bifidus regularis. Dude, I remember every word I've ever said in any movie, ever anywhere. Wow. Every word. Wow. How? Everything. But my point is, I guarantee you someone was like, really?

You're gonna do yogurt commercials that helps you poop. And then it became parodied on SNL. I remember. And then Kristen Wig did the parody. Mm-hmm. That's when you kind of go, Oh, okay. That's interesting. Now we're talking.'Cause like now you're in the mix. Yeah. You know what I mean? When you do a commercial And someone parody it. You become a part of the culture. You're now part of a cultural thing. So all of a sudden.

That that has never been a problem for me. But that wasn't your plan. I hadn't I've never had a plan, Michelle Obama. Did you have a well maybe you did because you're a G. I did up to the. You're a total effing G. I mean you're just like G with a capital big ass G, man. So yeah, I'm sure you had a plan. I didn't have a plan. I can spell plan. Well since since you didn't have a plan, when you were younger, I read you wanted to be a cop. Well, by the way.

Craig. Yeah. I got into college because my mother was the most famous person that had ever gone to the college. It like let her in My application that had an 840 combined SAT score and I believe a C minus. I don't know what it was. Somebody who's a brainiac will tell me what a C minus GPA is. Right. It is not good. Somehow the University of Pacific in Stockton, California thought I'm your girl. We want her. I have no See past the application. We had no business. We can see past the app.

I had no business in higher education. I should have gone to a trade school. I'm not joking. No. I really I am not an intellectual and I don't pretend to be one. And I had no business in college. I, you know, um majored in criminology and minored in being a little sister at a frat. I mean, I I mean seriously. When did you think all right, then I'll go in the family? But I would never think that, Craig. Right. I'm telling you right now, this was not the girl I uh you have to remember, my mother.

I've ever seen it. Tony Curtis? I know. Holy moly me. They were beautiful. Yeah, but I was cute. You know what? I wouldn't I'm just telling you, Michelle. Yeah. So the idea that I would go into the movie business where this is your life? I had no discernible talent. I don't do accents. I I I I I'm not that girl. Yeah. I never went to drama school. I I'm just a uh living creature who's developed.

over these me low many years. And my point is it was uh the last thing I thought I would do is be in show business. And it was an accident and it's boring and it's a long story. But no I'm not

But let me ask you this because there are a lot of young people listening out there in the world who who believe the same thing about themselves. Like there is nothing obviously that I have and I wanna ask What was it that you tapped into in the midst of all that that kept you going? Because right now there are a lot of kids who are like, I don't see my future. There's nothing. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not this enough. I'm not really talented enough. So they quit.

or they don't push. I what what what was your what was your driver or what was the thing in your head that said I'm gonna figure this out. I'm going to f I'm going to uh not tell you the story of how I became an actor, which was boring and literally it was an accident. And you've told the story. Right. I've been home. I became an actor because somebody I knew

randomly said they were looking for Nancy Drew. So Universal and I was home at Christmas and I was like, okay, I was lucky. So a lot of it has to do with luck. Yes. Michelle Obama. I had no clue. I didn't have a clue. I just followed the next thing. I didn't I but I have a very strong work ethic. Yeah. And I'm curious enough to ask questions. I want to know things I don't know I can say I don't know. And how do you do that?

Um I have no training and yet Did you ever have any training? No. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. So what did you what what were you learning as you, you know you went about your acting ab ability. Like what when what light bulbs were clicking for you as you went along? Or were you just fully like what comes up? It's like read this and go do that. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. I I'm I'm an emotional person and I

I would like to say I'm a empathetic person. I I if there's anything in me, it's that I have an understanding that life is part. For people. Yes. Um and a deep level of empathy, um, which why I tear up in it. Is that it's so so absent these days, um because our leadership isn't showing it, you know? I know. So it's really nice to see it in action because it's out there. It's out there everywhere. Yeah. And there are people, there are beautiful people. There are just I mean I had a...

uh colonoscopy recently. Please tell us more, Jamie. Heidi's Heidi right, but I swear to God, this is what just happened in the back room with Heidi Shaker. She literally just went like this. Oh, we at the table have all had kolonoskies. I had a kolonoski. And the the Twilight thing is pretty good. So I uh just so you know. First of all, I write notes to my doctor with

That I somehow can twist around and write them in eyebrow pen you know, eyeliner pencil on my butt? You don't. I do. And I write arrows pointing and I say this side up. Um, I write, thank you, Doctor, I won't name him. Thank you, Dr. M for going to medical school. I You get that all on the But then I also bring a hundred dollar bill and I say, listen. If the anesthesiologist wants to dial the propofol

Up just a little bit. And the Hundy's gone when I wake up. Just pull it up. Because yes, sorry. But that's not why I brought up my colonoscopy. But I just Once again we digress. But for those of us who have had it, it's like that's hilarious. I do draw diagrams and arrows. Uh never thought of that. Remind them to that. And I still go. I still go to Walter Reed to the military doctor.

I think I think that might be a a good one for my next cold knots. I'll send you a picture. I just I took a picture of the last. Do that. I'm not gonna show it to anybody. The reason I brought my colonoscopy was that the nurse Who greeted me at six AM? to put her in the IV and to you know, get me prepped before the team comes in. I'm talking to her and she young.

Beautiful Hispanic young girl. And I said, you know, as we do. Do you have kids? She said, Yeah, I have three. And I said, You have three kids. Where are they right now? Yeah. She said I drop them there before I come to work. It was six AM. Yeah. She's waking up three little kids. Every day? She said five days a week. Yeah. She says w I said, what time did you get them up? She said four fifteen. Every day at four fifteen, she wakes up her three kids.

And she's put their school clothes in the backpack, in each of their backpacks, and she takes them to her sisters in their pajamas. And then they go back to sleep at her sister's and then her sister takes them to school. Mm-hmm. Every day. Yeah. Five days a week. You see, I didn't have that. I I I I don't work that hard and I don't have that life. That wasn't my life with my children.

But I'm aware that that's really the life going on around me. That's right. I was just a children's hospital Los Angeles. Yes. You wanna spend a day and understand how hard people work everyone should. Go to a children's hospital, volunteer at a children's hospital and see how dedicated those teams are to those. So for me, not to belabor the point. I think it's just simply I'm aware that life is hard. My favorite quote is from the Princess Bride.

Um uh uh life is pain, highness, and anyone who says differently is selling something. It's really Well, and it's something to be mindful of. You don't get something for nothing in this world. And anybody tells you, I don't care if he's the president or not. You don't get something for nothing. You know, there's you know, there's a cost to life. Of course. You know, there's a cost to making sure everybody has health insurance. And there's a cost to all of us to make sure that that nurse.

M could possibly have some more reasonable, affordable child care while she's serving other people. There's a cost to all of us to have a clean environment. You don't that's you don't get to do it without paying taxes or shorting your taxes. That's the fundamental idea of being human. Oh well. Of any religion. Oh any religion. Mm-hmm. That is the cornerstone of it. Yes, it is. Help each other. Yes, it is. Love thy neighbor. Yes, it is. Welcome someone. Be open.

H put your hand out. Reach back. Help them. Reach back. Hold them up. It's it's the nature of for me. And that's not I mean my parents were you know, good people, but it wasn't, it's just the experience of being alive this long. And I I mean I don't have any other way of doing it. I I I am a worker amongst workers. It's n that's not just a recovery phrase. Yeah. That's been my vibe for a long time.

I would have required our crew here wear name tags so that when I walk in the room, you know my name, I don't know yours. That i there's an imbalance That's a good idea. But but that's an imbalance. And right away it puts me. I mean, I'm the one sitting here at the table with y'all. But like I don't know your name. Like it like that feels imbalanced to me. And on work that I do as a as a

As the leader of a show. Yeah. That's a requirement. So I mean, I have some I have a lot of opinions. I'm just opinionated. Well, it's a good thing you're on IMO because it's all about opinions. Well I I

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So... You recently so so you're you're Get into that very late night DJ voice. At what point in your career did you start sort of aiming for stuff? that you were like you you you're talking about I'm doing things now that are for me. Accident. Same way I'm an actor. Accident. I'm telling you now. I was sent everything everywhere all at once.

It was the weirdest thing I'd ever read. I didn't understand a word of it. I still don't understand. I need to watch it two more times. I d I didn't understand a word of it. And my agent sent it to me. Um I had made the Halloween movies. Charleston, Wilmington, and Savannah. Okay. So all of those movies were made away from my family. I have two children. I have a dog who loves me more than any human on the earth. And I have a husband and family and friends. And all I do is leave town to work.

Okay. And I was sent a script. And it's a good thing. First thing it was shot in Los Angeles. So it was shot in Semi Valley, Los Angeles, which is not it's outside the TMZ. It's an far enough away that they could get away with making it. But it was still Los Angeles. I was still gonna sleep in my bed. Two, it was starring Michelle Yeo, who's getting her star today, even though I know this is months later. She is actually right now getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Michelle Yeo.

And three, they gave me enough money to pay cash flow. Yeah. And I said yes. Those were the three reasons. I didn't understand it. You weren't angling, you didn't know. I just said okay, but I knew her. Mm-hmm. And I have met Deirdre's. Deirdre. I know her. Mm-hmm. This is someone who's unloved, untouched. I understand the power of your job that when someone has a job like that, it all of the slights of humanity that has come your way as an unattractive

um unlovable human being. All of the slights that come with the those two descriptions. And my job is to say fuck you. Yeah. No, mm-mm, you're gonna have to do all that again. Oh no, oh no. My payback. I'm and so that was her life. And the key to Deirdra Bo Beirdra. was if you see the movie again, she has beautifully manicured hands. Because I realized that was the only time she ever was touched. My point is,

That was made in thirty eight days in Simi Valley in January of twenty twenty. We wrapped the movie the day COVID started. So whatever Monday, March sixteenth was the last day of the shoot, twenty twenty. And the movie didn't come out for two years.

Movie came out in March of Twenty Twenty Two. And then it won nine Oscars or seven Oscars in March of 2023. Now if you think for one Second that you had a plan driving to Seney Valley at five o'clock in the morning to go to an empty office building that used to be the countrywide savings and loan campus. Sexy and not have trailers because we used offices in the building as our dressing rooms. And you're making a movie about the multiverse? And you think oh yeah.

That's this is my chance. This is the one man. This is gonna This is whoa. So what goes through your mind when that when this is in it, you know, and you're like, what? But I remember exactly where I was sitting. I remember what I was wearing when Heidi and Rick. The assistant. Called and said, I have Rick and Heidi for you. And I was like, Oh, okay. Hello. They go, Hi. I was like, hi, what's up? He said, Hey.

Listen, we wanted to talk to you. Uh we had a a conversation today with A24, the ri releasing company. I was like, yeah. And he said I said about what? And they said, about the campaign. I was like The campaign for what? And they said, Well, you know, we want we want to make sure that they're including you in the campaign. I was like, I w I can't say what I said. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can. I can say right? CBS isn't gonna fire me. No. Mm-mm.

Well, isn't isn't that what they do? That's what they do. Yeah, apparently. But um But not here. Not here. You know, I said fuck you to both of them. I was like, stop it. Stop it right now. There is no campaign. They said, Well, we just wanna make sure that, you know, they're gonna do a big push for the movie. I was like, Okay, whatever. Look at Just back off. Anyway.

That became a insane. And it's it's it's really a a thing. Yeah. And it's it's a really mind swimming. And I did everything I could the whole time to go la la. Me, yeah. Like just not I didn't want to read anything. I didn't want to have people whisper things in my ear. I hated it. Yeah. And I the la I never in my life, you have to remember.

I the last thing in my life I ever thought would ever happen would be that I would be nominated for an Academy Award. That just was never in the cards. That was never anywhere in the work I did. It was just That was what other people had happened to them, not me. And I am telling you that morning, that morning, and this oh, I got COVID at the Golden Globe. Thank you, Colin Farrell. And

And we've worked it out. Anyway, he um uh uh uh gave me COVID um at the Golden Globe. So I I had been homesick with COVID and It was the day of the nominations and I'm telling you, I'd had like a lot of people texting, like, You so excited I was like, Shut up, go away, stop. And then I woke up that morning and I went downstairs. Now, my husband of a long time makes really funny movies. And one of the movies he made was a movie called For Your Consideration, Christopher. Which is a parody of

The season of shiny things. It's the whole idea of this weird little movie. Somebody whispering in somebody's ear that they're gonna get an Oscar nomination. And then what happens? Catherine O'Hara, that great weird She can do that with her face. Sweet girl. We just lost her what? Yeah a week ago. Yeah. Anyway, I know this is later. But that wasn't tape or anything. That's just she had this weird ability to make her face look like that.

And so but you know, and what happens to people, the mind game that goes on. That's what the movie is about. My husband made that movie. So that morning of the Oscar nominations. You know, my husband said, What are you doing? I said, Well, I'm gonna get up and watch the thing. He said, Why? I said, You know why, honey? A, I have to exorcise you in your movie. Like I can't, this is this is my life. That was a movie. I said, I'm not a character in a movie, I'm a person.

I'm aware that there's enough. chatter that there is a chance that that would happen. I don't think it's gonna happen, but I'm telling you I that's a possibility that it could happen. And here's the story this will delight you. I've been an actress for a long time. The only person I know who won an Oscar is Deborah Oppenheimer. And on the morning of the Oscar nominations,

I was like I get up really early. So I was up at four and then, you know, I made coffee or whatever. And then at like five, the thing starts at five thirty. So like at five ten. I looked at my phone, and there was a text from Deb. And it said, I'm sitting outside. Your house I have my computer with me if you don't want Be there with you. I'm fine where I am. But I'm here. But I'm sitting outside your house. And I opened my gate.

And there she was. And she was sitting in her car with a pillow and her computer. And she came in and s sat with me. When my name came up on that screen, I didn't know she was doing this. My friend Deborah Oppenheimer was taking pictures secretly. She kind of held her phone because I could not. believe it. And the real moment of disbelief was when they called my name and then they called Stephanie Shu. Because

You know, she was my she wasn't my daughter in the movie, but she was the other actor in the movie. And it would have felt wrong to me. Right, right.'Cause she has a fantastic she's fantastic in the movie. Anyway. That was the moment the of real exuberation. But I have it all on film. Oh my gosh. That's the like the last thing I ever thought would happen in my life was that moment. Right. The rest of it.

Like the rest of it, the night of it, I went with my husband. We sat I the way I literally this happened. We were sitting in the front row at the frickin' Oscars. Yeah. And there was Michelle and Key and Steph. And then the Daniels were over there. And I kneeled down. We were in the front row. I saw that. On the left side. And I kneeled down in front of Michelle Yeo and I looked at her and I said, Michelle.

Where are we right now? She said, What do you mean? I said, Michelle, where are we right now? She said, uh at the Oscars. I said, Uh-huh. Um, and why are we at the Oscars? She said Uh because we made a movie that people liked. And uh, where are we sitting? And she said, in the front row. I said, Okay, great. Just checking to make sure I'm I'm awake. Like aware. And then I went down the line, sat, kneeled in front of Key. Key.

Same thing. Steph, same thing. Be aware. So when I say there we were in the front row, it was literal you had already won. It was like Michelle, Key, Steph, all of us were like Wow. How did we get here? How did we get here? Yeah. And then of course the miracle of all miracles is that we won. You are so the anti

Superstar. Амін I I just don't understand it. Yeah. And and I think it's beautiful. I think that's why people love you. That's why I am in love with you. Um now you're flirting. You were one of one. I'm a flirt. I can do it too. I can do it too. Um But you You've changed the notion of what it means to age in the public eye. And I'd love for you to talk about that. Sure. Um, because I I'm hoping that we are ushering in all of us.

Because I'm 62, you are sixty seven. Yeah. We are in our sixties, which I think is the best time of life. Without question. Um, and I want Talk about that journey for yourself, how you feel. It's like, you know, you're you're not, you know, y you believe in aging. You know, you believe in the beauty of it. Like shit happens, aging happens. I mean it that it it's coming for all of us. Uh you know. I here's the problem.

Yeah. It's not just Hollywood. It's also technology. It's also social media. It's also filtering. Yeah. It's also it's what we used to call airbrushing, is now just filtering. It's all fakery. Yeah. It's just the fakery. It's the Cosmeceutical industrial complex, which is as insidious in many ways as the military industrial complex. It's about money. Yeah. So it's just about fing money. Right?

Um and it's the idea that you're gonna tell someone that this is going to change you and make you better. And therefore, better means you'll be more loved, you'll be more successful. So it's this. It's this cycle of of bullshit. praise on our base insecurities. You know, and for many people it's what they look like. Now, I've never been pretty and I I'm saying it out loud. I d I'm not

been I wouldn't I wasn't. But I wasn't pretty like that. I wasn't pretty the way girls are pretty. I was cute. I was cute. I can look good. I'm not. I can fully look good. But it's that but that was not you weren't the traditional. Yeah. And that's very important for me because that was never the thing I relied on. I have succumbed and have talked about it many times to trying all the things. I've sucked the fat. I've cut the fat. I've tried to do the things that people do.

that everybody's doing. Yeah. And it doesn't work. There are many things that happen. When you say it doesn't work. It doesn't work, first of all, because of the self esteem issue. Because you ultimately are looking in the mirror and realizing you've used something outside of yourself to change something to make you quote better, but you're not better because you're still the same person before as you were before.

I think it actually makes you feel fraudulent and I think it creates self-hatred. Yeah. Um and for me, accepting that I look the way I look is part of self-love. P I did that magazine as you know years ago, More magazine, where I took off my clothes. And the reason I did that is because I was a cover girl of magazines and again people were comparing themselves to me the same way I would compare myself

to someone else. And I know what it feels like to look at a picture of a beautiful woman and go, oh which why isn't what sort of me, yeah. I'm never gonna look like that. And so I in the one thing we haven't brought up at all is that I also write books for children. And the books I write for children are about things. It's they're not just Nothing. They're about Issues and topics that

plague children as much as they plague adults. I'd written a book about self-esteem. It was called I'm Gonna Like Me, letting off a little self-esteem. It was about self-love. How do you get it? Esteemable act. is how you get self-esteem. It's back to your question of young people. They don't feel like I don't know what to do. Do something for someone else. Boom. There you go. Mm-hmm. The dopamine hits, you're like, you're filling up with goodness.

It changes the way you do. So I'm promoting a book for ch uh children about self-esteem. And I was doing the cover of More magazine and I realized I was a liar. Mm-hmm. 'Cause if I was as if I was paying attention to what I wrote, I wouldn't have done plastic surgery. I wouldn't have done my posuction. So I said, you know what? I'm gonna take a picture of me in my undies with no good light, no makeup, no hair. I'm gonna stand there au natural.

And you're gonna take my picture and then you're going to let me get all dolled up. Mm-hmm. But you're gonna have to print those two pictures side by side and you're gonna have to say how long it took, how much money it took, how many people were involved. And then I'll do that. And that was something that was in two thousand and one. We're in twenty twenty. But that was even then me understanding that. Вот ворселин.

is fraudulent. It has only gotten crazier. Um and by the way, I'm not proselytizing. I know that some people takes have like I know there's a lot of weight loss questions out there right now. If it actually helps people be healthier, God bless them. Mm-hmm. Well, Jamie, we have What? A listener question. As as Jennifer Lewis said, I talk too much. Way too much. I do. You're you're in between two opinionated women, which is We have a listener question.

G. G. My G. I'm telling you right now. Sorry, were you saying Craig? What do you want? I'm gonna start saying that what, Craig?

you to hear our listener question from Madeline and maybe offer some opinions. Okay. It's we have a question from Madeline in Boston. Okay. I am entering my senior year of college and it feels like my generation is unsure what the point is in a time and world that is full of greed, unfairness, and loneliness.

How do you find purpose and drive to work towards your interests and goals when it often feels like there are only certain routes to be successful and sustain a happy lifestyle from Madeline in Boston? Well, I mean please that's the question, right? Purpose. That's right. Purpose. Ultimately, it's fine purpose. That When you say or or are feeling that that you can't Find your path to the purpose.

My experience with people over and over again is put yourself in the path of anything. Put yourself in the path of love. Put yourself in the path of work. Put yourself in the path of purpose. Again, volunteer. You want to feel purpose? Go to a children's hospital and offer to volunteer to be one of the, you know, helpers that work in hospitals. The need is great out there in the world. Um

I think finding your purpose is putting yourself in the path of it. You may not know what it is. It may not uh as I've I am a gr living example of the nothing in my life. um um represents what I thought or had even a fantasy what my life would be. I had no idea. I didn't have a purpose. Keep your mind open and so for me that

You find your purpose by putting yourself in the path of it. I just feel like people keep thinking purpose is going to come to them. That's right. Love is going to come to them. Work is going to come to them. Success is going to come to them. And it it is not, you have to go to it for it. Yeah. You have to go for it. I love that. Um, I'd want what's our Madeline. Madeline, to also think very carefully about How we def how she's defining purpose.

Right. Because I think that's some of the confusion um these days because purpose in this day and age, right now, this moment in time is fame, money, um, uh, you know, more. It's it's all uh it's all stuff. um it's acquiring. Um it's it's superficial. So when when we talk about purpose, I think we are talking about We are talking about something much more altruistic, you know, the dopamine hit that comes with engaging with other people, you know. Um, so I want her to think

Beyond stuff. Even, you know, yeah, go to school, get your degree if you can afford it, you know, have a good career, you know, you know. Be able to support yourself, but I know too many people who have all of that and more, the billionaires in the world, the millionaires, the people who are famous, the people who have it all, the people that you look at and think, well, I want their purpose.

And what they're doing isn't making them happy or whole. It's not giving them self-esteem. You know, in fact, it's doing the opposite. So I want Madeline to think about Working outside of herself. And by the way, Madeline, tough name to have after Lily Allen's album. Um

Mm-hmm. Oh w yeah oh that's Craig does not Well, Craig, we'll have to, you know what? I'm gonna play the whole thing for you. It's gonna blow your mind. It's so genius. Talk about a G, it's a G. Anyway, um, but before we began this, uh, you know. W I've talked a lot about like me, my work, my life, but the truth is I'm also a mom. I'm a mother of two. I've raised two children from birth through.

uncharted waters because I had no role model to show me how to do it. And every human being is different. And there's been difference in our in our path with uh with our children and Um, our children were born through adoption and um our family was built through adoption and we were talking at the beginning of the podcast. And the truth is All of this emotionality that I have.

is really rooted in being their mother. Yes. Like the the Oh my God, don't make me cry. But the truth is that the the greatest Lessons the hardest days ever in my life. ever have been being a parent. Yeah. And now a grandparent. And we were talking before and I n I needed to call my daughter and her husband. Um To ask if it was okay. But the idea that I would be this person at this age, excuse my French, forget the movies, forget the things, forget the the

Forget the shiny things. The shiniest thing is a child. Oh my god. The greatest gift is a child. Yeah. And getting the privilege of raising them and learning how to help someone through their life. And My husband and I um became grandparents to um our eldest daughter and her husband. Um And their their baby boy was born in December. Um And it was it was a week after Rob and Michelle. Yeah. And Robin Michelle are her godparents. and they died on her birthday. And my beautiful daughter, um,

Who loved them. Mm-hmm. As we all did. Yeah. Um, manage. To be able to metabolize that grief and sadness as we all have had to do, obviously nothing greater than their children, but as close friends and I know. colleagues and friends and people we all admired. And then my daughter and her husband brought their son um to this world a week later. And Life on life's harshest terms and life on life's most important. Perfect terms and The reason I brought it up is I remember where I was.

The day your husband was elected president because my daughter called me from a party that she and her friends were at. My daughter was in college. And I remember where I was sitting in a hotel. talking on the phone with my daughter about the possibility that the world was going to change because of the election and because of you, you and your husband. Stepping up.

Saying, we're here to help you. And I remember where I was that day. And now that daughter has brought a little grandson into our lives, and the joy. Talk about and I never thought I never thought I would have children. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be a grandma. Yeah. A granny. Granny. I wanna be granny. Granny. But so it has just been

an extraordinary connection. And when I called my daughter today to say, hey, I'm about to do this, we have never talked about it. It's been a private matter. Mm-hmm. It we live in a world many people know in our circle. Yeah. many, many people know that, you know, we're grandparents. One of these days Somebody's gonna say something and I am getting to say it. And when I called my daughter and said, You know, I'm about to do this thing

I think it's gonna come up. How would you feel about me talking about it? Oh my god and she said, tell her I love her. My daughter Annie said, tell her I love her. You are love. And and so respected that she would say, Yes, mom, you can talk about it to Michelle Obama. Like, cause she's a G. Cause she loves you.

Because you represented love in the world and you brought uh love to the White House and um and beyond. And so uh it's it's Really thrilling to me that the First time I'm gonna say to the universe that I became a granny. Is here is here with you and that it was and that she said that I could do it because it was you, because of what you've represented to her and her generation.

Of young women and um how much respect we have for you and your husband. And uh well that you too. You too. You too, Craig. Thank you. But that your aura is very strong. Because we know from the ring. And um I I just um I I That's beautiful. That's the truth. That that is the truth. That's what she said to me. For Madeline. And Madeline, I'm so sorry. No, but this is the the point being that like. S so many wonderful things have happened to all of us. in the world so many tangible things.

Knowing that you can impact people's lives in that way, like that's purpose and that's a purpose that sustained you through. ugly stuff and name calling and lies and it it f it fills you up fully. And I want young people to understand that, right? Like you don't Like money doesn't buy that impact, you know? Um titles don't give it to you. It's how you show up in the world.

That matters. And the only thing people are gonna remember at the end. That's right. And that's the shiny thing. That's to me. That's what Madeline should be working. For sure. And that's what you and your husband worked toward. And that's the gift that you guys gave us. And that was the hope that you offered us. And I believe that y well, I know that you've changed the world for the better. And I believe that um

I believe that the times are gonna change. And I think our better minds are going to start paying attention to the corruption, the greed, the avarice, the hatred, the misogyny, the homophobia. The violence. The violence perpetrated by this administration in the name of America. I believe that will change. Um, and I believe the example that we will lead toward is the example you and your husband give us. So if I get to say nothing else on this, I got to say that to your face.

Thank you. Thank you very much for everything that you thank you have done for you. Thank you for thank you. What, Craig? Hey. Sometimes you just have to get rebounds. You don't have to score. Sometimes you just play D. And by the way, there's your gift to Madeline. That's your answer to Matt. That's right. Sometimes you're just the you're you are you are just the teammate. Yeah. And you can be a good team. You are a good teammate. But Jamie, thank you. I digress. Thank you.