The girl boss is back – and this time she’s working class, mixed race and fully therapised. Moya asks Ash how we should make sense of Skims entrepreneur Emma Grede and the success of her book, Start With Yourself. Plus: which fantasy archetype are you? Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Moya and Ash answer a mystery question about why so many people are going ‘no contact’ with their parents. How do our elders understand this epidemic of estrangement? Plus: How to deal with a jealous ex-boyfriend who lives down the road. Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Ash went to the Songkran water fight in Thailand and now has a few questions about health and safety culture. Where do we draw the line between personal safety and freedom to take risks? Plus: should you chase a holiday romance? Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Ash and Moya are reunited and ready to answer a mystery question, inspired by Lena Dunham’s memoir Famesick: do we need more women mentors? Plus: a homesick ex-pat struggling to stay in contact with his family. Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available now: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
With the manosphere back in the headlines, we’re republishing our 2024 interview with the authors of Clown World – the book that exposed Andrew Tate’s cult-like grip on young men around the world. Jamie Tahsin and Matt Shea explain how they infiltrated Tate’s inner circle and what they found inside. Ash and Moya will be back from their well-earned break next week. Send us dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Remember our show in Sheffield is coming up on 4th July. Tickets: https://crossedwires.liv...
Moya answers your dilemmas with former Vogue agony aunt Shon Faye. Featuring: a graduate abroad who might have a saviour complex; a gay man who doesn’t know if his relationship is real; a stripper who wants to tell her parents the truth; and a relationship breaking down over Israel. Plus: how does Shon always hit her deadlines? Follow Shon on Substack: https://shonfaye.substack.com/ Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://...
Moya is joined by doctor-turned-novelist William Hunter to talk about what it takes to abandon your career for something new. What are the signs it’s time for a change? What if you quit everything but still feel bad inside? Plus: what to do about bigoted tweets from the past. Will’s debut novel Sunstruck is out in paperback on 25th June. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley....
A special announcement from producer Chal. Ash and Moya are on their holidays but will be back next Tuesday! Take part in our audience survey here to be in with a chance of winning: novara.media/survey
Moya has a big theory about success: we love the idea of it, but hate people going on about it. Did Timothée Chalamet’s naked ambition cost him an Oscar? Plus: what to do about a envious colleague. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
Moya and Ash react to Louis Theroux’s documentary on the manosphere. The antics of YouTubers like HS and Sneako seem designed to amuse teenage boys and offend the normies – but when does the mask become the face? And who are the women who flock to these influencers? Plus: advice for a man who doesn’t want to dump his emotions on women. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley....
Ash has a big theory about why so many aspects of modern life feel like masturbation: private, self-centred, disconnected. They discuss the objects and subjects of sex, and Moya makes a confession. Plus: advice for a special one who’s dating her first communist. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
Moya and Ash wonder what’s attracting young British ex-pats (and influencers) to cities like Dubai and Bali. Is emigration the new face of aspiration? Plus: a dilemma about being stuck in a dead-end job – or so it seems. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
Ash wants to cultivate a better relationship with nature, but Moya detects a deeper issue around burnout, and the lure of the countryside for busy city dwellers. Plus: advice for a listener who’s lost sexual interest in her partner. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.
CONTAINS WUTHERING HEIGHTS SPOILERS! What else would two literature lovers (and actual Brontë experts) be talking about this week but the film of the moment. Is Jacob Elordi too white? Is Margot Robbie too old? How much adaptation is too much? Plus: tough love for a special one in a situationship. Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Music by Matt Huxley....
It’s a dilemmas special! (Because the Special Ones have a lot of problems.) Ash and Moya answer your emails about: two student housemates who don’t really like each other, a friendship ruined by the return of a toxic ex, a depressed boyfriend who won’t get help, a good friend with a possibly evil job, and a romantic reunion that seems like a good idea… Plus: casting Hollywood stars as Greek gods and mortals. Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in...
We’re 100 episodes old! To celebrate, our audience of Special Ones ask us anything, from the personal to the political to the completely potty. What do Ash and Moya love and hate about each other? Whose greatest skill is cod psychology? And do they ever get anxious after sharing on the podcast? Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley....
Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our 100th episode – so ask us anything! Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley....
Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dil...
Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We Were There , is out now. Recorded at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25 November 2025. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley....
Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue! New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are availab...
Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.
NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better? CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape. Send us you...
This episode delves into the complex debate around ethical consumption under capitalism, discussing whether harm reduction is possible and how consumerism often serves as a numbing mechanism. It then tackles a poignant listener dilemma from a "special one" who questions male friends' and partners' choices regarding porn and their perceived complicity in sexual violence. The hosts offer guidance on distinguishing trauma-induced hypervigilance from genuine trust-building in relationships.
We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre ! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice . This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from our bodies, and how to afford a second child. Plus: which hospital department has the sexiest staff? Annabel’s book, Divided: Racism, Medicine and Why We Need to D...
LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre ! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice . This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation about whether their politics are changing as they age – including their takes on Your Party, Zack’s Greens and why the UK left hasn’t produced a Zohran. Plus: how to escape a situationship. Sen...
Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre . Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice . This week, after listening to the new album by Lily Allen – the patron saint of oversharing – Moya and Ash debate the pros and cons of spilling your guts in public. Do we owe a level of privacy to those that h...
A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now from Dice . Our north-west special ones can still grab tickets to If I Speak live at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25th November, where we’ll be talking to journalist Lanre Bakare ...
Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre . Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for a young fiancé who’s losing interest in his partner. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley....
