IELTS Plus: Episode 60 - Manners

Good day everyone and thank you ever so much for joining me today. Please enjoy this episode on manners. a very polite introduction there because we're talking about manners today something i i am a big proponent of i really love You know, I have my own manners that I follow and I like to see manners in society. I don't like bad manners, if possible. So a very important topic for me today, one that I'm looking forward to.

Now, today I'd like to start off by answering a student question. The question was asked here in the academy and basically this student who joined me recently said, Jack, I freeze. I freeze in the exam. You know, they ask me a question. There's all these things in my head and I freeze and I don't give an answer quickly enough. Or sometimes I don't give an answer at all.

So it's this difficulty, this issue of freezing in an exam. And one of the principles I teach here to overcome that is key stories. I want every student here, and I want this for you as well, the listeners of this podcast, to have key stories, which are four or five things you're super comfortable talking about.

Now, you hear me all the time. I talk about Australia. I talk about golf. I very often talk about Spain because of my honeymoon. There's these... things and people and places that I always just go back to every time and this is what I want for you is key stories and this would at the basic level you must have A place you enjoy spending time. A hobby or interest, something you like doing, an activity you like doing. An important person.

and a holiday destination. So that's four things. A holiday destination is the fourth. You can be really comfortable. You can tell stories about those four items. You can do two-minute speeches on those four items. So, for example... If you say a place and it's your nearby park, you can use that to answer hundreds of questions.

as an example or for details, anything. And you've got these specific stories from that park. And that's what I do too. And I really encourage you to... narrow down to four or five key stories, these areas that you're very comfortable talking about. And that's it. There's far more I could say about that. I teach in this academy, but that's the key principle and I'd like you to follow it as well. And while I'm answering, think about, okay, what are my key stories?

And how would I apply those to each question today? You know, if I'm going to talk about this park near my house, how can I talk about the park near my house when referring to manners? Will you talk about people spitting chewing gum on the floor? Just spitting on the floor? Leaving litter? These are all related to manners. So try to think, how can I apply those key stories?

to whatever subject I have. And I would like to give you a question. I think I'm going to go off script a little bit here. And I'm going to focus on the negative. What bad manners annoy you the most? I want to know what are the bad manners that really... frustrate you, make you upset. It might be spitting. It might be shoving. It might be elbows on the table while you're eating. It might be...

Speaking with your mouth full of food, what are the bad manners you hate? I would love to hear from you. I think this is coming up today, so you will hear from me, but please let me know the bad manners. you dislike the most. Good. Okay. So as usual, today's episode is exactly aligned with my textbook. Every episode is. So if you... Want that textbook? It's at www.britplus.net. It's following this series and it will give you lots of wonderful vocabulary and every question that I answer.

On top of that, it does have the structures that I use in order to answer these questions. So let's get into it with some part ones. What are some good manners you were taught as a child? I was taught a lot of good manners as a child because my parents really emphasized good etiquette. For example, don't put your elbows on the table while you're eating.

I tell you an interesting one, which is very picky, but make sure you have a plate of food, you eat it in a balanced way. Do not eat all of the meat. Then eat all of the potatoes, then eat all of the carrots or whatever it is. You've got to eat it in a balanced way. That's good manners. So yeah, maybe my parents were a little picky when it comes to etiquette, but... It gave me some good lessons for now. Next question. Can you give an example of bad manners that annoy you?

I can give you a long list of examples. No, let's do a couple that annoy me. I would say definitely speaking with your mouth full because there's nothing worse. than when you're eating dinner with someone and they're speaking and bits of food are flying out. It's just awful. I would say the other one, and this is... Quite specific to where I live, which I really struggle with, even after 15 years, is on the subway, people pushing you to get off the subway. I feel it's unnecessary.

But it's just part of the culture here, so I do have to accept it and move on. Okay, part two. Today's part two is describe a situation where you saw someone displaying bad manners.

Okay, pretty simple. Pretty simple, but difficult to think of seeing someone. Something comes to my mind. I'll give it a go. So we'll stick two minutes on the clock. And my time starts now. I'd like to talk about a barbecue party and an older man that I saw at this barbecue party. I was... So...

I went to this barbecue party and it was quite big. There was maybe 20 people there. It was at my friend's house who lives in the countryside. And it was wonderful. It was absolutely fantastic. The great food. Mostly great people, alcohol, music. It was a lovely time. However, there was this one man who was very proud of himself and he just didn't have any...

courtesy when it came to conversation. He constantly interrupted people. He told these long stories and just expected everyone to listen to him. He was just impolite with conversation and being around people socializing. So let me tell you a little more about him. He was perhaps in his 60s.

He was very proud of himself. I think he was... It doesn't matter, but he was in the art community, so he really liked art and talking about this. And I think he felt like he was... kind of high society, but when it came to the decorum of being around other people and being polite. He just really lacked that and he was far too happy to loudly tell his stories and take over conversations. I don't think he was ever insulting. I don't think he's ever...

directly rude to people but it was just this lack of consideration that I found very rude. For me personally I think conversation etiquette is really important and being fair to people and Okay. I think that was a decent answer. It's true. You know, that does come from truth. But I...

I was really trying to use some of today's language so that you can see that in the subtitles highlighted and get a feeling for how it can be used. But overall, I'm happy with that and I progressed with this structure quite well.

Let's move on to some part threes. How can parents teach their children good manners? I think that really it just comes down to what you talk about at home and the kind of manners and rules you set out in your household. And it doesn't have to be super strict. I think you just... common things like okay if your mouth is full don't speak just wait until you've swallowed and then you can start speaking

I don't think elbows on the table is a particularly big deal, so I'm not going to enforce that with my daughter. But just be thoughtful of people around you. They don't want your food spraying while speaking. If you're having a conversation and someone's talking, don't interrupt them. That's just real society basics that...

I think you can enforce at home and just make a nice atmosphere at home that they can then take with them into society. Next question. How do manners vary across different cultures? They hugely vary. There's a massive variance depending on where you are. And I really feel it in Korea versus the UK. It's changing in Korea. I think... due to globalization and the spread of like american culture western culture to around the world but

There are things such as, you know, when you're on the subway and people push each other. So, you know, we talk about our personal space. Personal space in Korea almost doesn't exist. you can touch other people while you're going onto a subway. In England, you can't do that. I believe in Scandinavian countries... They keep enormous distances with each other. You can Google pictures of standing in line in Norway, for example, and the space is huge.

There are huge differences and it's also in reverse as well. So for example, in Korea, there's a lot of rules and etiquette surrounding drinking alcohol. which I think is really nice. There's some really nice rules that could be adopted in the West. Okay, let's go to the last question. I think these answers are pretty good today. I'm quite happy. Do you think modern technology has affected people's manners? Yes, I definitely feel that when it comes to socializing, I think that people...

have a shorter attention span in conversation. They have kind of lost some of that conversation courtesy and they... people interrupt each other more. I would say, I'm not sure if this is true, I certainly feel that the... I have experienced cases where I've been in a conversation with someone and they've started browsing their phone during the conversation. And in that case, I don't have much tolerance for that.

And I think that when you're with someone, you have to be engaged with them. And if you're not... you're going to insult them. And that's how I feel in that case. I feel quite insulted. So I would say that comes from social media and modern technology. Good. Am I a strict guy? I'm feeling from these answers that I've got quite a lot of manners that I like to keep and I like others to keep, but hopefully I'm not too strict. I try not to be too strict with my daughter, for example.

Anyway, that's all done. So Manus is done. I thought that was not too hard. And looking at next week, we've got this next topic, mental health, which is... Let's say really important. I don't know if it's going to be hard, depends on the questions, but such an important topic area for everyone. So that's what we're going to do next week. For this week, please study. awfully hard and join me next week next monday to talk about mental health see you then