#70. Recognizing Your Worth: Why That Matters and How It Impacts Your Practice

So I want to explore that concept a little bit more . Oh , and I've got a free download for you too , a little tool you might like . So stay tuned ! Hi , I'm Wendy Pitts Reeves and , with over two decades of experience in the private practice world , I've built my six-figure business while learning a lot of lessons the hard way .

This is the first podcast that shows you how to apply the principles of energy alignment and strategy to build a practice that is profit-centered , but people forward . This is the Ideal Practice podcast . Hey everybody , and welcome back . Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Ideal Practice .

This is your host , Wendy Pitts Reeves , and I am thrilled to be hanging out with you guys today . We are in the winding down days of summer , aren't we ? Yeah , we are it , as we've had some blazing hot , but I have to tell you it's been really kind of sweet where I live and I have been thoroughly enjoying it as I am recording this .

We have been in the middle of an incredible full moon week , and it has just been so pretty at night the clouds . I just love the way clouds look at night on a full moon night right , it is . It's really special .

So if you live somewhere where it's pretty outside at night , I encourage you to get outside and enjoy the evening , because winter will be here before you know it . So I wanted to talk about something today that just was on my heart after listening to the conversation that I had with last week with Ryane LeCesne . Did you hear that ? It was so much fun ?

She had so much , so much wisdom to share and in our conversation she talked about what she called the confidence gap . She at one point she used the phrase the shadow side of owning a practice , which is this part of us that we don't bring completely into the forefront , this part of us that we do not own .

That is our value , our expertise and the fact that we actually want to show up as somebody who's got something to offer in our practice . I want to talk about that today . A lot of you will hear the phrase imposter syndrome . We talked about that some last week as well . That's a real common way that this tends to show up , but it's more than that .

I actually think it's kind of a complex issue . So I just want to take a stab at discussing this a little bit and see what you think . Now , if you haven't heard last week's , go back and listen to episode 69 , because it was a good one and I think you will enjoy it .

As I was thinking about , how do what does it mean when we don't own our authority , claim our value , when we don't get paid what we deserve , which happens because we don't own our authority what does that look like ?

Well , I was thinking about different people that I've worked with over the years , and at one point I thought I would share this little story with you . At one point , I was working with a massage therapist who was extremely well respected in her community . She had been in the field for a long time .

She was what I , in my world , I would call a senior level clinician . That's not how she would have used , that's not the language she would have used , but she a lot of the other massage therapists in her town had been trained by her .

She was very , very good at what she did and she cared a lot about her clients , which was really obvious to anybody who ever went to see her . But she was so conflicted about money that she had kind of an odd way of pricing her services .

For example , at the time that I was working with her this was been several years ago she was charging something like $65 , $70 an hour and that doesn't sound terrible . That wasn't that out of line for that kind of service at the time . But she was spending two hours with people , sometimes longer . Most of that she was talking with them .

She would spend a really good period of time before you ever got on the table , just asking how you were doing , how you were feeling , what you needed help with , what you had noticed since you'd seen her last , like really digging into what might be going on with you energetically , emotionally and physically . She really wanted to understand that .

Then you would get on the table , she would do the massage it was great work and then there would be a wrap up period at the end .

All together , an hour session with her often lasted two , maybe two and a half , but what she would say to you when it came time to pay was that she only charged you for the time you were on the table , which was indeed about an hour . So you know what that means .

It means she was doing twice as much work for half as much pay and because she wasn't making nearly enough money to live off of , she had to see people any time they would come . So she was seeing people six and seven days a week . And y'all physical I mean massage therapy is intensely physical , right ? It feels great on the receiving end .

I don't know what it feels like on the giving end , but my guess is it's rough . I wouldn't want to do it and my , I mean good Lord , kudos to those of you who do that kind of thing , because the rest of us really benefit from it . But it's very physical . So she was working long days every day and was barely making ends meet . Can you relate to that ?

Does that sound in any way familiar to any of you ? Because I have seen that same dynamic happen in all kinds of different situations . Here is the problem we want to help . It is in our DNA . There's a reason why you are called to this work , but and here's the shadow side of our practice .

Sometimes our desire to help may not always be coming from the healthiest place . You know what I'm talking about , right ? I saw this a lot in graduate school .

It's very common in my line of work that people go into clinical social work or psychotherapy because they come from a situation that was very difficult and they want to address it , understand it , heal it , make sure that the next generation does better .

All perfectly good reasons , but sometimes we are trying to right the wrongs that we ourselves grew up with , which means we are not always , depending upon how much work we have done ourselves . We may or may not be aware of that place . I was thinking about the Enneagram .

I lean heavily on the Enneagram from my thinking and my understanding about myself and about people I work with . In my mind , this would be people who are in the thinking triad , so those who are fives , sixes and sevens . The thinking triad is all about managing fear by basically kind of getting out in front of it in different ways .

It varies depending upon which one of those types you're talking about , but the whole point is I'm not going to feel fear , I'm in charge , I'm ahead of it in various ways , and that can be why we do the kind of work we do by managing our own fear , by making sure that we're helping others with theirs .

But how does our avoidance of fear impact our relationship with our clients ? I don't know Something to think about . It might be that we want to help people because we feel love ourselves , we feel affirmed in some way , because when a client says thank you , what's not to love about that ? Just last week I shared was it last week ?

Yeah , I think it was last week I shared with you , um , a note that I had received from one of my clients recently , where she was telling me about what a difference our work together has been , as made for her . Well , goodness gracious , I love that . Of course I love that . But when we do the work , we do because we feel loved .

We have to make sure that when we have to do things in our work that maybe aren't going to make us feel so loved , that we are still okay with it and that we're careful about that . Or , if you're like me , I'm a nine .

So the people who want to fill , the folks who that might be their motivation , those are going to be the people from the heart triad of the enneagram , that's , the twos , threes and fours who , in one way or another , are seeking love . We all are , of course we all are , but that's , in particular , a strong dynamic with those types and gosh .

If I am working with a client , I'm helping them get better and they're extremely grateful . Well , that feels like love to me . On the other hand , when I have to hold them accountable about their past due account , they may not be so loving . Can I handle that Like ? This is a way that this could impact your work right , or you could be like me .

I am a nine on the enneagram . That . What is that part ? That's the body part , the body part of the triad . But the eights , nines and ones are all about doing , not thinking so much , not feeling so much , just doing . And our tendency as a nine is to want everybody to just get along .

I just want everybody to get along , everybody like each other , everybody be happy . I don't want to ruffle any feathers . Well , you can certainly see how that could impact me as a business owner , because sometimes you kind of have to ruffle some feathers right .

Well , if , depending upon how much work you have done on your own , depending upon how self aware you might be , depending upon how healthy you and I are . We may tend to want to help others while missing certain factors about ourselves or , more often than not , seriously minimizing the value of what we bring to the table .

That's really what I want to talk about . If you're doing this kind of work because you know what it feels like to come from an unhealthy situation and you want to help people , that's great . But don't do it just because you feel sorry for people . Do it because you know how to help them . You've got the expertise . You've got the life experience .

If you are doing this because it feels really good to help people , there's nothing wrong with that . But understand that you're not just doing it because you're nice . You're doing it because you know stuff All right . You bring skill to the relationship . You're not just a nice person who cares . You're so much more than that .

And even if you're like me , you just want everybody to get along . I'm not just doing this work so that people are nice and kind of just doing this work so that people are nicer to each other , for example , or that families work better or couples get along better or that people have a high .

I really I do this work because I have a certain skill set that I know helps . I want you to see recognize own claim what you bring . That makes the difference . I really want you , as Ryan said last week , to value your value . I want you to believe my friend and yourself Because , listen , if you don't believe in you , why should your clients ?

If you don't think you have something special that you're bringing to the mix here , then why are you in business at all ? It's not just because you love people , it's not just because you want to help people , it's not just because you're nice . It's because you know something . You have actually a lot of something that you bring to the table .

I'm going to talk about that in just a moment , but I really want to hammer home why this is important . If we are muddy about this , if we are conflicted about this , if we apologize and shrink from that which makes us awesome , that's going to impact our business .

If you apologize , if you shrink from your unique abilities , from your experience , from your authority , if you hesitate to lead in your relationship with your clients , that's going to impact your whole practice .

And here's why and this is going to sound a little bit weird , but this is what I have come to understand when we don't own our authority , when we don't recognize that this relationship with our clients works for lots of reasons .

Part of it is because of what they bring to the table their courage , their willingness , their open-heartedness , goodness gracious , their trust in us , which is a huge deal . But also , what makes it work is us . There's a reason why some people do better with you than they have ever done with anyone else they've turned to for help .

There's a reason for that , and it's not just because you're a nice person . But here's the danger If we don't see what it is that we do , if we don't understand the difference that we individually make to our clients , what we are doing in that moment is we risk becoming client-centered to an extreme .

Now , I don't know about you , but in my training everything was about the client and of course I mean why wouldn't it be right ? The guiding principle is is this good for my client ? When I have to make a decision about what's best in my practice I'm going to handle something .

The first thought , the first question , always has to be is this in my client's best interest ? But there is a real possibility that you could take that idea to an extreme . And when you do , where what's best for your client is not only what matters most , it's the only thing that matters . You could end up with poor boundaries .

You could end up making some really serious therapeutic mistakes and financial mistakes . You could end up with a lack of confidence . You could end up with a lack of leadership because you're not showing up the way your clients need you to show up .

And when we don't do that , when we go into the work like yeah , I could help you I actually have some ideas about that when we show up like that , that's when we don't make any money y'all , and there's a really good chance that we are also not having the kind of impact that we are meant to have .

So if I've got you thinking and if you're a little bit like whoa Wendy , honey , what you talking about here , where are you going with this ? Well , I'm going to tell you I've got . I do have somewhere . I'm going with this . So bear with me .

Before I get into what this means and what I want you to do with it , let me just take a moment here and just mention something to you . Have you checked out the IP 360 Scorecard that I offer for free on my website ? If you haven't . I invite you to go check that out right now . Just go to my website , wendypittsreeves . com/ 360 , the number 360 , 360 .

Get your copy right now , because this scorecard is a really quick and easy kind of a self assessment of your practice and it's based on my framework , what I call the seven pillars of an ideal practice .

It will help you very quickly get a sense of which of those pillars , which of those areas you're solid in and where you could use a little help , and some of this is about owning your value . So I think you might find that helpful . You might want to check that out . Go to wendypittsreevescom/ 360 .

I just want to mention that before I forget it and before I dive into where I want you to go with this . I see this happen when I'm coaching people .

I've often worked with folks who are freaking rock stars y'all just really good at what they do , have a real heart for the work because they are real nice people , because they do come from a place of love and service , but who also have years of experience , who have thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of training , who have life experience and a

worldview that deeply impacts what they know how to do when they're working with the clients , who are just right for them . I've seen that . I want you to recognize your worth . Ryane last week said that , ultimately , when we talk about limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome and all the things that we throw up that say I'm not worthy , I don't deserve this .

I don't deserve to get paid , Wendy , $150 an hour , $200 an hour . I don't deserve to make $100,000 a year , $150,000 a year . I don't deserve to only work with clients I absolutely adore . I don't deserve to take six weeks of vacation a year . Well , what if you did ?

One of the things that Ryan said is that when we have limiting beliefs which is what all of that is often what that all comes down to , what you bring to the table .

Now , I've designed this as a tool to help you think about pricing , because when you get clear about the value that you bring , the authority that you have , that's going to influence your pricing . I hope , and I hope it will influence it in a good way . But I just want to talk this through with you for a moment , if I can .

I want you to think about certain things and I want to start here . You could write this down , or you can download the worksheet that I've got for you , if that's easier . I'll tell you how to do that in just a minute . I want you to think about what are the literal skills and credentials that you already have . Are there specific licenses that you have ?

Certain certifications that you have ? Have you been trained in certain uh techniques like AIT or EMDR or polyvagal theory ? Are there certain things that you've gone ? You've gotten extra training in working with trauma , dealing with back and neck injuries ? I don't know .

Do you have a unique skill set that you've actually spent a lot of time perfecting , a lot of time and often a lot of money ? What are those ? It might be your graduate school education , but it might be that you've never been anywhere near a college . It doesn't matter , you've gotten it in some other way . What literal skills and credentials do you have Now ?

My credentials are I'm a licensed clinical social worker , so I could certainly say that . But one of the skills that I have is a wicked level of intuition and a powerful ability to recognize and pull together patterns that I see in the lives of those that I work with .

I also have a real knack for saying things directly in a way that people can hear Usually not always , but usually right . You have skills and credentials as well . Some of them are the hard , measurable , licensible kinds of things . Some of them are intangibles , but they are every bit as real . What are those ? Write those down .

After you've done that , I want you to think about what is unique about your services , about the work that you do , or what could be . Do you work with a particular population , like kids on the spectrum , maybe same sex couples ? Maybe maybe you work with them ? You work with full families , which hardly anybody seems to do .

Maybe you work with people and their pets in some unique way . I don't know , there's like all kinds of things , but what is ? Is there something unique about the type of problem you solve , the kinds of folks that you work with , or maybe the way you work with people ? Maybe you work with them in their homes , maybe you see people on Sundays .

Maybe you work with people in the outdoors , in nature . In some ways , maybe you do some kind of experiential work . All of that is part of what contributes to your awesome . Okay , all of that is part of what makes you unique among your colleagues . So what are your skills and credentials ?

What kind of services do you offer , and don't just tell me you know that you work with everybody , because you don't , nor should you . All right , so think about that . And then the third area I really want you to think about is your life experience .

Just this week , one of my coaching clients , a therapist who is exceptionally skilled at working with couples and working with like a couple of different areas I won't go into the details , but she's she's got her own area she's really good at , but she has begun to own her full life experience in a way that she's never done that before .

In fact , I've got two people I'm working with right now that this has become important Sometimes . Who we are , our own cultural background , our own family experience , our ancestral experience , our energy all of that is part of what we bring to the table too .

Maybe it's an experience that you've been through , maybe it's the , maybe it's a wide level of work experiences you've had . I don't know , maybe it's just how long you've been around , like me , but there's something , and probably several some things in your personal life experience that informs the work that you do .

That is how you know how to help people , the way you know how to help people . That making sense . I want you to spend some time , my friend , writing that stuff down , really thinking about it . And if you're not sure about this , if you have trouble about this , ask a friend or a colleague . What do you see in me in terms of my how like ?

What I bring to the table , what like ? What do you notice about my credentials , about the people I serve or the way that the people I help with , the way I help them ? What do you know about or notice about my energy or the stories I tell , or the way I do what I do and why I think the way I think ?

What do you see in me that maybe I don't see ? If this is hard for you to see , ask a friend , ask a colleague , ask four or five friends or colleagues . You may be surprised at what others see in you that you've never even noticed , and it can be super , super helpful .

What it means to run a practice that is profit centered and people who are people forward means you own your authority , you claim your value , you bring all of that to the table and you get paid what you deserve , without a polity , because that's how you run a healthy business and it's people forward , because your clients do matter most .

They just don't matter more than you . They matter as much as you . You don't matter more than them , you matter as much as them . This was an equal partnership . See how that works . That's how that works . So let me go back to the massage therapist that I was mentioning to you at the beginning . Remember what I was telling you about her .

She was working all day , every day , like hardly ever got a day off , and was literally charging , like making half as much money as she should have been making for twice as much time . It was so bad . Well , you probably don't need me to tell you where that goes .

If you keep pouring out of yourself in that way for your practice , for your clients , if you are so client centered and you are leaving yourself out of the equation , there comes a time when you cannot sustain that anymore , and what that often looks like is burnout or illness , and in her case , it was illness .

She got sick , and it was when she got sick that she called me and she said I've got to fix this , and I'm like , good , it's about time . And so the good news is we worked together for a while . It didn't take a long time because it was very clear what needed to happen .

The main thing was she had to deal with the discomfort of treating herself with the same level of love , care , attention and respect that she treated her clients with . You wouldn't think that would be hard , and yet it's . So often is , especially when we don't , as Ryan said , value our value . Well , fast forward a few years .

That person became a good friend of mine . She has since retired , but by the time she retired she had tripled her rates . She actually raised them two more times without my help . She no longer charged for time that she that was just on the table like people paid for every minute they spent with her .

And because her practice got healthier , she didn't need to see so many people . So she cut her time in half . She got her time and a half . Her hours got much more limited . She got her freedom back . She got her life back . She began to go hiking again . She had time to spend with her family . She got her health back . Everything got better .

She saw fewer people , made better money , was doing just as deep , beautiful , rich , important work as she had always done . Her clients had always gotten the best , but now she got what she needed out of that relationship , too , makes sense . Yeah , so good , so good , and I was really proud of her . That's what I want for you .

So if you would like to get the little worksheet that I put together for you , go to wendipetsreevescom . Forward slash pricing and you will get this little worksheet , and I encourage you to spend some time with this .

And , like I said , if you're , if you have trouble filling this out for yourself , go ask some people in your life what they would say about you for each of those areas . I think you'll find this quite eye-opening and my hope is that you will be so proud of yourself that you're like a foot taller by the time you finish this exercise .

My sweet , brilliant , beautiful , open-hearted friend , I simply want you to own your authority . You know something . You bring a level of expertise to the work . That is important . I want you to claim your value and recognize what you do , and I want you to get paid what you deserve . So there you go . That's what I've got for you today .

I hope this is helpful . I hope it gets you thinking . I hope you will go download that worksheet wendypittsreeves . com/pricing . We will put a link in the up in the show notes below . Have a great week , everybody , and I will see you next time . Next week right here . Same bat time , same bat station on the ideal practice podcast . Bye now .