Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me. Tommy de Dario, one of the greatest athletes in the world, joins my show today and man, what a conversation you are about to hear. The five time Olympic medalist Tom Daily dove his way into the studio. See what I did there. It's a chat all about his incredible life. His new documentary, Tom Daily one point six Seconds is
out now and we are covering it all. Tom's giving us a really intimate look at the challenges of growing up in the public eye and facing physical and mental pressures of being his country's big metal hope. He emotionally discusses losing his father Roberts, cancer, and coming out in the media, and of course he opens up about making the decision to retire from the competition at the age
of thirty, and so much more. Tom's not only a sporting legend, but he's a champion for important social issues and he has shaped the world far beyond what I imagine he even thought was possible. And a big shout out to Travel Guard, my personal sponsor for today's episode. Their mission it's to make sure we safely say hello to our next destination a vacation insurance plan from travel Guard.
It helps to protect your trip investment with coverages like trip cancelation and interruption, medical expense, and evacuation, lost or delayed baggage, which is the biggest pain for anyone who has gone through that, and so much more so, Let's enjoy our trips without the headaches and launching soon, you guys, is my Pride series with travel Guard about how the community can stay safe during their travels. So visit travelguard
dot com for more information on that. And let's see if today we can get Tom to say something that he has never said before. Tom Daily, how are you, my friend?
I am doing alright, you know, a little bit tired, but nothing like I've ever been before since.
Yeah, you look refreshed off of the plane. I know.
I feel like this last week or so, I've just been traveling here, there and everywhere. But it's been good. It's been nice to be able to, you know, just get out and about and you know, explore a little.
Yeah, and for good reason you're traveling. You have an amazing documentary which we're going to get to, of course, but I have to start by telling you I'm a little disappointed. Oh no, I really thought you'd be sitting across from me. We knitwhere, yes, or knitting a new project, and here you are without it. And I don't understand why you decided to show up and not do that, but I'll have to get over it.
I know double denim instead. Although I do have my knitting in my bag, so not with me here, but it's in the car so I do carry it with me absolutely everywhere, which sometimes I get some weird looks coming through TSA with a whole set of knitting needles, because they you know, if you were to scan that it might look slightly weird.
I'm surprised you can bring big needles through the TSA.
Yeah, and scissors as long as they're smaller than four inches.
Oh good to know, Good to know. I still laugh about that photo when I saw you in the stands knitting your your sweater was it?
I was knitting in total, I was nitting this like cardigan. Basically, I started knitting because my coach told me that I was always on the go, always, I never just sat still, and that I wasn't very good at resting and recovering. So was then my husband, who said to me, why don't you try knitting because people on film sets he works in film and TV, like, why don't you try knitting? And I was like, you know, okay, sure, why not.
So I got my needles, got my yarn, went onto the YouTube University and taught myself out to knit, and I've he it became my obsession honestly.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really good for anxiety too.
Oh yeah, I'm able like this is the one time of the day where my mind is completely quiet and I love that, and it like I'm able to pass so much time I can be really present. I genuinely think that knitting was my superpower and the reason why I was able to win Ann't be Gone medal in Tokyo because it was like, during like the COVID Olympics, there was so much time to overthink everything, and you know, knitting kind of like took that away. So yeah, I'm grateful for knitting.
That's so cool. Well, there is something about that keeps you super present, right, which is I feel like anyone who wants to be successful at anything has to have that mindset.
Yeah, I think you have to be able to be extremely present focused on the process and enjoy the process as well, because although yes, you want to have a successful outcome, that's not always the case. So as long as you can enjoy the process, it's still worth it regardless.
Good for you, man, Well, your documentary one point six seconds is beautiful. Oh beautiful. I watched it with my husband. We just we absolutely loved it and thought it was so raw and open and you know, vulnerable and emotional. So I guess to kick this off, why was this the right time in your life to put something like that out.
Yeah, I mean the production company came to me in twenty twenty three. I want to say it was two years after the Tokyo Olympics, because I hadn't died for two years at that point, I thought I was retired, and they came to me right at the time when I was deciding maybe I should come back for one more Olympic Games in Paris so that my kids could
see me compete. And I think the big thing for me was I had no idea that so much of the archival footage existed that my dad had filmed, so lots of the documentary was me seeing things for the very first time, and I don't know, retirement was on the card. So I like being able to sum up my whole career and then also be able to have something so that my kids in the future can look back and see everything that their papa like achieved and did.
There was something about that that I was excited so that they could see everything in one place.
Wow. I mean, it's remarkable you've accomplished. You began diving around seventy eight, right, you went to the Olympics at fourteen. Yes, you won your first World champion at fifteen. Yes, that's a lot of action very early on in your life, and you became known as this kind of prodigy diver. Right, So as you're in this new chapter of your life, who is Tom Daily without that?
Oh gosh, good question. And I still feel like I'm figuring that out because diving was such a big part of my life from the age of seven up until I was thirty. So there's like now that retirement. It's weird to say the our word retirement because I'm like, you know, yes, I'm retired, but it's only from like my first career in diving. Because now I'm like, Okay,
what am I going to do with my day. I used to know exactly what time I was waking up, when I was going to have for breakfast, when I was going to have my breakfast, what time I was starting training, when I was going to be home, where I was going to be traveling, what competition, And now all of that is out the window. Routine has got. The only structure I have now really is a school drop off and school pickup for my kids, and that's kind of the thing that I revolved my day around now.
But other than that, it's like everything is kind of like slotted in and people are like, oh, when can you do this, And I'm like, I guess whenever you want, But then like I don't know because I don't know
what could be happening that day. Whereas before I knew I was going to be training, let's say, like eight till ten thirty and then one thirty till four, so I knew that if there was something I was going to have to do, it's either going to be in and around those times, Whereas now it's kind of like a you know, bitten it in there, bitten it in there, and just yeah, live in my life without too many routines and structures.
I guess, yeah, you're figuring out that person who you will step into still, right, which I imagine is liberating, but also probably if you're someone like me who's a little type A and from watching a documentary you do like routine and structure, it is also very weird.
Yeah, It's something that when I was in diving, all I ever wanted to do was be like, oh, I just want to break free of this structure and just be able to go and do something if I want to go and do it, whereas now I can, I'm like, oh, I don't know if I really like that, Like it was liberating for a while, but then I'm like, Okay, now I actually quite enjoyed that structure of what I'm going to And it's kind of I guess lots of people might have the similar thing if they're not in
a regular, like nine to five job. It's like when do you start working, when do you stop? What do you do? How often are you doing it? And then you end up finding yourself incredibly busy all the time, and but it's it's been good, and this past year has been incredibly busy.
So what would you say after living such a very public life and having media and the public so intertwined in your personal life and professional life. What would you say is one of the biggest misconceptions about you.
Oh, I think lots of people might consider me to be someone that is like very go go go all about winning an Olympic gold medal. I'm very serious and driven towards that, and I do think that I'm probably
one of the more unseerious people. And it was only really as I got older that I started to care less about what other people thought, so I was able to be more me because you know, growing up, I feel like I was always I'm such a people pleaser, so I feel like I was always giving people what I thought they wanted to hear from me, and what they thought I wanted them to be they wanted me to be. Like, So I think now I'm a lot more like I have a different perspective on life. But yeah,
I guess that's not really a misconcier. But I guess I'm not just about the gold medals. Maybe.
Yeah, Well, I think it's important to say that because when you're such a high achiever and you have accomplished so much, you can be kind of put in this category of like that's your only focus, and clearly it's not. I mean, you're a family man, yeah, her husband. You're so much more than just That's.
The danger though. If you want to win an Olympic gold medal, if you want to be the best at what you do, it can't be your only thing because if it is your only thing, you put all of your self worth and self esteem into that one thing and what you do, and you have to realize that you're more than what you do. Yeah, and what you do. I mean I always say, like, you know, doing sport, it's not saving lives. I'm not like a brain surgeon
or a heart surgeon. So if you are a heart surgeon or brain surgeon, I'm sorry you do what you do every day does really matter. But I always just I always try to tell myself when I was sriving that at the end of the day, it's just a game. Yeah, it's just a game. Yeah, it could be monopoly with your family. Yeah, the boards have been flipped with that too.
You know, I'm very competitive, but I like to think of you know, everything, you're able to be able to put everything you do into perspective to make it feel smaller and sometimes that's what I find to be really helpful.
Well, and I have to say, based off what you just said, you know you're an athlete, which I would argue is also a type of an artist, right, and you inspire so many people to dream and go after what it is they want to go after. So yes, it's not brain surgery, but I would argue it is equally as important because in this day and age that we live in, where there can be so much doom and gloom, you give people that light. So don't take that away from what you do either, because it is important.
Yeah, But I think it's the difference is with when you go into an Olympic Games and you know it is the biggest thing that you've been working for. It's what all your training has come up to for. You train six hours a day, six days a week for four years for that one day, and it can feel like it is the biggest thing that's ever happened in your life, because for the most part, it probably is
working towards that thing. But if you have that on your plate, it is so terrifying and there's so much pressure and anxiety that comes down to perfect those one point six seconds.
Of a dive.
So now I if I am only thinking about that standing down, I'm terrified. So I have to come up with ways for myself to be able to let go of that and break free of that, you know, anxiety and pressure. And for me, that is just making it feel as little and small as possible.
Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I imagine having a support system along the way has also helped with
all of that and been tremendous. And in the documentary we see the beautiful relationship with you and your parents and your father who was literally by your side, yeah, for everything, and you open up about losing him and so many people have gone through that and what that grief was like for you, and your way to grieve kind of was jumping back into work at first, right and going going, going, exactly.
I wasn't very good at the whole grieving thing. I think for lots of people, you always think of your parents as invincible that then you know they're always going to be around. And you know, my dad was one of my biggest or the biggest cheerleader I had in my life. He was there for every training session, every common whether it was in the UK or abroad, wherever it was. He was there with his giant Union flag,
waving it in people's faces. He didn't care. And you know, when I lost him in twenty eleven, it was something that was so incredibly difficult for our whole family, and it got to a point where I was like, I didn't know what to I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to cope. So I ended up just carrying on, going right back to the diving pool, right back into it, and not really allowing myself to
have time to think about what was coming next. And for me, it was only when I met my husband when he started asking me like, why don't you speak about your dad? Why don't you do anything that celebrates him in that way? And I think it was always because you know, as British people were very like, we don't want to talk about anything. We're very like, you know, we're going to go from one thing to the next
and not really talk about our feelings. So it took me a while to actually get to a point where I felt like I was able to really open up and let that guard down, because you know, you just want to keep going on. You don't want to make the other I always just felt like I didn't want to make other people feel uncomfortable with my with my issues.
If you like, it's not funny you were more worried about other people than processing what you were going through.
I know. It's like that's just where I'm quite a people pleaser. So I always just a'm like, yeah, yeah, sure, do no worries, and you know, sometimes that's that's something I'm trying to work on a little bit more. But it's something that I uh, it's for the longest of times, I was very much just wanting I think that comes from growing up gay as well. It's like you always just want to make sure people don't find out that
thing about you that might make them hate you. And you know, I was always trying to just be the you know, I feel like it's the I don't know if this is what they call, but it's like the best little boy syndrome. You know, you want to be like the best that you can be so that they didn't care who you were or they didn't read too much into any of that. And it's so I think that's just the era of growing up then was a bit of a.
Challenge yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's something I think we kind of by default as gay men, still experience as we continue going through this life in little moments, and then we have to check ourselves like, oh wait, no, I don't need to still think like that or act like that, because it is something that we were kind of brought up to be, Like, yeah, and I grew up.
In a small town. I'm not sure where did you grow up?
Small town? Yeah?
See, I grew up in Plymouth in the southwest of the UK, and I didn't know of I didn't know anyone gay like I, you know, you saw you know, Will and Grace or any kind of gay person. Was extremely flamboyant, and lots of people on the in Plymouth would talk very you know, in derogatory terms around these people. So I was like, oh my gosh, Like, well, you're growing up and you realize that thing about you that is so what society tells you is wrong. You always
want to try and overcompensate for that. And yeah, I think that always will stick with you, like you say, forever, even as you get older. You like, there's sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, like I can't believe I did that or can't believe I said that, what are other people going to think? And I'm really hopeful for this next generation that you know, people can just grow up just being themselves and have parents and family members around them that just love them for who they are.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Wouldn't it be lovely?
That would be so nice.
I always just you know, like and also just the fact that I find it weird that people care so much about what people get up to in their private life anyway, Like, if you're a good athlete, you're a good athlete. Yeah, if you're a good podcast host, you a good podcast. It doesn't matter, right, Like, it does not matter about like anything else. If you get it, what you do surrender us.
Well, I think it's really cool that you were in this high profile career, everybody was in your business and you still allowed yourself the chance to find love and be who you knew you were always meant to be, right, and you did meet your husband, which I feel like a wink face is is what needs to be given all the credit for why you twour together.
Yeah, the night we met, it was actually funny because it wasn't him that came over and asked for my number. It was my well, it was his assistant. He was very cute. Came over and Gate said, oh, Lance wants your your number, can you put it in? And I was like, yeah, sure, So I put my number in and then put a winky face at the end of it. And that's when Lance said that no heterosexual man would ever put a winky face at the end of their number. And that's when he knew. And that was twelve and
a bit years ago. Now, wow, just crazy wow.
And you weren't out to the public at the time.
No, I wasn't, which was again a really scary thing because like growing up in the UK, it was like every single decision, every single thing that I did, was
under some kind of media scrutiny. Like I had to know coming back from my first Olympics at fourteen, going back to school and dealing with bullying and the whole the UK, knowing that I was going through that, the whole of the UK, knowing that I'd lost my dad, all of these things that I was having to deal with quite publicly, and now, you know, falling in love and being like, oh my gosh, what am I going
to do here now? Because growing up is tough enough anyway, but then having to like explore your sexuality in a kind of hidden way and not really knowing what you can do. You don't want to get caught. But then also you don't want to be ashamed of who you are. You don't want other people to think you're a shape. So it was really like there was so much going through my head at that point. It was it was a really challenging time, and I felt like that was why I decided to come out in the end of
twenty thirteen, because I'd met Lance in the march. I told my friends and family, and it got to the point where I was asked in an interview what I thought of you know, or they said something like, what, you have lots of gay fans. Why do you think that is? And I was like, well, probably because I'm half naked all the time, people that wear more close to bed than they do to work. So then they were like, okay, what about the people that think that you're gay? And I was like, what does it matter
if I am? Like, it doesn't matter, And then the headline was that I am not gay, but I don't care if you think I am, and I was so like, I was like really frustrated that that had kind of been taken that way. So then I got to a point I was like, you know what, it's time to come out. And I came out in a way that was the way that I knew how and that was through YouTube or through social media, because I didn't want anybody to ask any follow up questions. I didn't want
anybody to twist my words. I just wanted to be able to say exactly what I wanted to say at the time. And I think there was something that became to be quite powerful, and I believe now it's very powerful with social media, is being able to have a little bit more control over your narrative and not just kind of letting other people take control of that.
And I love that you did that, even when I believe it was your management team at first was not for you being out, Yeah right, No, No, it was.
Yeah. I was really terrified about coming out because I
was told i'd lose sponsorship. I was told I would not be able to compete in certain countries, and it was really kind of like they had built it up that it was going to be like, you know, apocalyptic, and I you know, any coming out is hard enough anyway for anyone, no matter if you're in a place where it's super easy to come out or but it's it really felt like it was going to It was like coming up to this cliff where I was like, well, I'm just this is this is the edge, and I
am about to post this video and I have no idea what is going to be what's going to happen on the other side of this, And the reception was overwhelmingly positive. I mean, of course you can always get a few like derogatory things, but it was overwhelmingly positive. And I felt for the first time I could go into a competition, go into training, and just have that weight lifted off of me. And I felt that it was like so nice to be able to just have that be just feel like I could just be me.
What a gift you gave yourself in that moment, even though you were scared and probably a little uneasy of what this would mean for your professional career you work so hard for, but you still allow yourself to go forward and openly speak your truth, which I think is really hard and really admirable for so many people listening right now who might be in a position we both were, you know, years ago, who are struggling with their identity or their sexuality. What would you say to them?
I would say, find So I have my best friend, Sophie was the first person that I told, and I would say, find your Sophie, find your person that you can confide in. And because saying it out loud to one other person changes everything keeping I kept so much to myself for the longest time, and I found it so difficult to just live each day without having to
think about every single thing. I'd said, what happens if I do this, what happens if I say something in this kind of way, and just being able to say it to one person just allows you to be Like, if you can be your one hundred percent yourself with one person, it just allows you to just finally live like because I would have then times where Sophie would come over and we would have like din and I
could just be me. Not that I would be any different, but I just never had to worry about anything like slipping up or like saying something or whatever it may have been. And so I would say I would encourage people to be able to find that person that they can really confide in.
Yeah, even if they're not ready to tell everybody, just having someone is so important.
Someone that they can trust, just to be able to you know, really, you know. And of course it takes time and it's difficult to find those people and I'm really lucky to have had those people around me.
That's amazing. I love that, and I love that we see in this documentary so much about that because it is an important piece of your life and your story that I think a lot of people will be able to relate to. And you open up about so many other things. And I don't want to go into everything because people need to watch it. But one of the things that definitely struck me was your relationship with body. And I think as men, we don't talk about that
a lot. And I thought that was really cool you put it out there, and also really sad that somebody professionally made you think that something was wrong with you at a certain point.
Yeah, I got it. Was like right before the London twenty twelve Olympics, my performance director said that I needed to lose weight and that I was overweight and he wanted to need to look more like I did in two thousand and eight, but I mean I was coming up for eighteen and in twentyd and eight, I was fourteen, and I'm you know, an eighteen year old's never going
to look like a fourteen year old again. And it was the first time that people I felt like people were looking at my body more in not just a performance way, as the way that it looked. And ever since then I kind of spiraled into this not really knowing what to do with that. I didn't have the nutritional information I didn't have, and I didn't really want to bring too much up with my psychologists because men
didn't have eating disorders. Men didn't have any problems with, you know, struggling to figure out what they should or shouldn't eat, and then not eating and then eating too much and then completely binging and then have to do feeling so guilty you have to do something about that,
and then it kind of just spiraled from there. And what was hard is because I know rationally that I know that I'm doing fine and it's all good, but there's just this thing in the back of your head that makes you question every single thing that you eat, every single thing that you do, feeling guilty for like feeling like you. And I would weigh myself every single day. The coaches would make me weigh myself and if you weren't at the right way, you'd have to go and
run until you lost weight. And it was all of these things and it really created an unhealthy body image thing where And also there's such high standards when it comes to things on social media, and it's and no matter how rationally you can think in being able to say I'm doing fine, like we're good, there's always something. There's always something in the back of your head. And I know people think, oh, gosh, he's doing all right,
like boohoo, poor you. But like I know rationally that yes, I know, but it's not as simple as that, and it wouldn't be like and that's something that I've had to It's been one of my biggest struggles in my life, honestly, with body image. And I know that seems extreme to say, but it's you know, when you spend your whole life out on a platform with no clothes on, it's a
very vulnerable position to be in. And if you're you've gone from just being able to not care at all with what you're wearing and out competing and doing your thing and having the time of your life to then somebody commenting on that and you're like, oh my gosh, people are looking at me like that was the first time that I didn't I thought, oh god, Like every time I go out there, people are looking at if I'm fat or not. And it played with my head
like really bad for a really long time. And I feel like I'm getting better with it now, but you know, it's still plays on my mind.
Yeah, it's still something I'm sure you have to work throughout certain times, right, Yeah.
And I think it's also because I've spent my whole life as an athlete, people assume that I'm just going to be in the best shape all year round, right,
There's no ups and downs to it. So then if you go to like a I know this is niche, but like if you go to a photo shoot or you go to anything like that, and then they're like, oh yeah, well you like take your top off and you're like, oh god, like you know, I'm And it's hard now as a retired athlete as well, going into anything where you're like, okay, well, normally I would be training six hours a day, six days a week and
i'd be, you know, in pretty good condition. Now like my training regime is not the same, and it's just like and now everything is slightly different, and so then you have it all kind of triggers things in different ways. But you know, it's again, it's something that I have to I just have to keep working well.
And I think it's important to talk about too, because when you have a certain type of and if this phrase isn't correct, forgive me, but what I interpret as like a body dysmorphia, you can't control what you think. So even someone on the outside saying, well Tom looks great, and I don't understand, and that's just so silly that yeah, yes, sure that's great, but you can't control what you think when you go through something like that. And I have
a background. I came from the modeling world and I saw it all the time, and I had agents say to me, you know, I was a former gymnast and they'd say your back, stupid, you're next, too fat, like all the things that to fuck with you, and you can't help that. It's part of when you're learning who you are and coming to terms with who you're going to be. Those opinions matter, yeah, and it takes a while to shake them, sometimes totally.
And it's you know, of course, like if you were able to think about it rationally, it wouldn't be an issue.
But that's the problem. And I think lots of men, especially in the gay community, really do struggle with that because they it's there's so many standards out there, and you're always chasing that something else, and although you may be the person that the somebody is aiming towards getting towards, you're also then working towards getting to somebody else in terms of like body aesthetic that you might be going for. And it's so it's this constant thing and then you
know it's annoyay. It's that you find your like hating the way that you look, and then you look back, and then in two years time goes by and then you look back, you know, like, oh my gosh, I wish I look like that again. And then it's this about never being happy with like where you're at. And I don't know if that's like a constant thing around perfectionism that I've had in sport or anything like that, but I feel like there are more men than probably care to admit that worry about that stuff as.
Well, one hundred percent. That's why I said earlier, it's so important that you brought it up. And whether everybody understands it or not, that's not your business, right because you're speaking your truth and you hope that it can help somebody who does go through something in a similar way. So I think that that alone is a message we need more of. And I'm glad that it's in the documentary and that you got to speak about it more
today because we need that as men. We need to stop pretending like everything's always okay and we're macho and don't feel and go through the same shit that a lot of women go through. It's human nature, I know.
And that's that's another thing when it came to the grieving process and my dad, like, it's just there's always a these stereotypes of what a man should be, and like, at the end of the day, a man can be so many different things, and I think we have to, you know, embrace our emotions more. And I just really struggle with that. I always have my guard up around that stuff.
So, yeah, yeah, what is your relationship with grief like today? Because it's something that again we don't speak about a lot, and that happened. You lost your dad a while ago now, but do you still have a relationship you're working through with grief?
Yes, I mean grief kind of like is always there, right, And I feel like this documentary really kind of tapped into that in a weird kind of like therapy way. But I still find myself I lost my granddad last year, and I also found myself kind of like not really acknowledging it and kind of being like, well, you know, that happened, move on, and like not being able to. It's almost like sometimes when things feel so bad, you just like you don't acknowledge that it happen. And I
feel like that's almost what's happened. Even at the time, that's what happened with my dad, Like I felt like his memory was still so alive that it was you know,
he was still around. But now I find myself having days where I'm like, oh, gosh, he's like not forgetting that he was around, but like you have a day where you don't he isn't necessarily at the front of mine at every single moment, and you're like, oh my gosh, Like that's and I feel bad for that, and then I'm like, oh should I like, how should he be involved in my life now that he's no longer here?
And how often should I be thinking of him? Is that everything that I because now I'm a dad myself, so my all my time and effort and energy goes into them, and like, once you kind of go for that full circle moment, it really feels I don't know, like I understand, Like I can't even imagine what my dad was going through finding out that he had this
terminal diagnosis. And he was thirty five when he found out that he was he had this diagnosis, and he died when he was forty, so, which is now being thirty one that is so like forty is so like incredibly young. And you know, he had three kids, Like I was the oldest seventeen, My brother was fifteen, and my youngest brother was twelve at the time, and so
they were really young to lose their dad. And it's it's just yeah, I think now coming full circle and being a parent and seeing the sacrifices that he made for us as kids and now being able to do the same for my children is you know, I just hope that I have the same relationship that I did with my dad, and I feel like I have that
with my kids, which has been so lovely. Like we named our oldest son after my dad, so he's a Robbie, so it's you know, yeah, it does feel like it's and I feel like this is what the documentary kind of did. It was like me with my dad and kind of getting into like my life and then by the end I was able to dive at the Olympics in front of my kids and it kind of all came full circle.
It was such a cool moment to see that and the pride on your family's faces, you know when that moment happened. It's really cool and I love that the kids got to experience that and what a proud moment that it must have been for them. It's it's beautiful. Maybe got me a little emotional watching And I'm not gonna lie. Are you tired of everybody asking you if you're really retired? Because I know it comes up in every interview. Are you over it? Are you tired? Or you like, stop asking me.
I'm tired of retired? No, I know if I'm being honest, like, if it wasn't for like the kids and like other things and just wanting to be able to live life while I still like can I you know, who knows. I might have carried on, but I also like most divers are like that, they retired between the ages of like twenty four and twenty six. I carried on until I was thirty, and you know, like my body kind of was falling apart. You know, I did get to
the end of the documentary. When I first watched it, I was like, ah, I want to do that again, like, because there is nothing no feeling like being able to stand on top of an Olympic platform when you're competing at the Olympics that you work really hard for, the adrenaline rush of it, the excitement of it, the competition of it all, and then standing on the top of a podium and there is no feeling like that. There
isn't that. Let's say, there's not a knitting Olympics the way you can speed knit and get on top of a podium. There isn't There isn't a feeling like that. So it's definitely an adjustment to figure out what that next thing is for me. But yeah, no, I think I'm I'm happy right now being retired.
Would you ever consider coaching?
You know, I thought I might have considered coaching. I'd definitely be up for mentoring. I do mentor a couple of athletes currently, but I coaching. For me, coaches are the most under race people on the planet because they are there every single training session. They're through the whole thing. Yeah, they don't do it and they like So for me, if I was there for every single training session, every
single competition, I'd rather do it. Be like, yeah, I'd rather do it myself and you know, be involved in it and really be in it. But you know, if it ever came to it, but yeah, I would definitely coach. But for right now, I think there's lots of other things I want to do. It might be like I feel like, and I know it sounds silly, but I feel like coaching for me would feel like a retirement job, whereas I kind of want to figure out another career
before that. Maybe when I'm like, I say retirement job, but like maybe the last ten years of my working life, i'd work as a coach.
Okay, Yeah, I think what's cool is the world is your oyster we're gonna we're gonna see where you end up and what you keep doing, and you, only you will figure that out, and you're gonna do what makes you happy. You've already accomplished so much, so now it's your time to figure out what you want that to look like next for you. And in the meantime, you know, I hope you have a hell of a lot of fun doing it all. I mean, aren't you doing Traders coming up?
I have filmed The Traders, which was so much fun.
Was that fine?
It was a lot of fun. And I also just finished filming a new TV show called Game of waol.
I know it sounds sounds like a competition series involving knitting exactly.
It's like a fake off for knitting. I'm hosting this TV show. We've got two judges and then there's like ten contestants, and each week someone gets cast off, which is a knitting pun. If you know how to knit, you cast off your stitches, off your needles. It's you know, it's I never knew that there were so many puns in the world of knitting. I don't actually know how much is actually going to be able to be safe for TV. To be honest, but it was it was a lot of fun.
Okay, we look forward to both of those. Was it while being away for traders because you don't used to give up your phone and like all of it?
Yeah, they have, like I think for this version they had some kind of like rules with people with children to be able to still have some communication. But it was a Yeah, it was a very wild experience, but it was a lot of fun.
Good for you all part of your next journey, which I love, Tom. I could talk to you for hours more. I'm just I'm loving this conversation. And no surprise, after I watched the documentary, I knew I would. But as we start to wrap up, the name of the show is called I've never said this before, and it was born because I cover a lot of red carpets and press junkets where you have three minutes maybe five minutes with somebody and it's all sound by conversation and it's not,
in my opinion, the realist conversation you can have. And I love bringing on inspiring influential people and getting to see real sides to you and getting giving you an opportunity to talk about things that means something to you. So I wrap up every episode by asking, what is one thing you've never said before whatever that means to you.
Oh, gosh, something I've never said before. I feel like I've been such an open book my whole life that I've always spoken very openly about everything that I think something I've never said before is as a parent, I find that being two working parents is one of the most difficult things and something that I wasn't anticipating being as difficult as it was, because your kids are the most important thing in your whole life, right, and you will do anything for them, and they are therefore like
they are the most important things in your life. Every decision you make, they come first. But when you're in the trenches and currently, like we have a two year old that's party training, I've been picking up poop off the pool side, and we've been doing all kinds of things.
But that I feel like not enough people talk about the guilt of being a working parent and trying to figure out the balance of being around because when I'm in LA I'm like, they're like, I am like there all day and not doing as much stuff, whereas then I have to travel to do work and the guilt that I feel being away from my kids is so it like rips my heart open and to the point where I try to condense everything as humanly possible. I mean,
I've taken the Red Eye to come here. I'm here for thirty six hours maybe less, and then flying back. But I feel like I've probably never really spoken about the guilt that i feel about being away from my kids when I'm doing any of my work stuff. And I know parents have to work and you can't be around your kids all the time, but that I yeah, and being able to balance that with Lance's career and my career as something that I've really kind of struggled with.
But it's something that I always feel really bad talking about because I'm also very lucky to have the opportunity to work in the places that I do and the things that I do. But it's just, yeah, I think that's probably something I've actually never said before. The guilt that I feel when I go to work.
Well, that's very human. I mean I'm not a parent myself, but I have a lot of friends who experience that, and it is it is part of being a working person, right, It's not and you don't have a nine to five, So you do have these weird hours where you are away for periods of time, and I imagine that does sometimes get kind of heavy on the heart, right.
Yeah, it does get heavy on the heart. And then like, for example, you know, always one of us will be able to make it, but like being here today, Like there's Robbie's animal project at school, for example, that they're presenting, and like, I it eats me up inside that I'm not there for that today, Like I've been for all of his other shows this whole year, but it's like like I'm missing one and I feel so awful about it, and there's no way of being able to you know,
like what do you do in that situation because you have to work? But then like yeah, so that eats me up.
Do you ever have a day as a parent, as a dad where it's just like the guilt is so intense and you have so much going on that you just break down and you're like this this is just I'm done.
I think lots of parents will do get to the point where you're like oh my gosh and completely overwhelmed and completely you know, in over your head and you're like, oh my gosh, like, how how do I deal with this situation? Because you know, there's where with a seven year old and a two year old, like the seven year old is very much doing his own thing now, but the two year old is like, especially the second child,
he's feral. He likes to climb, run, jump, and do all So there's always this kind of humming background stress all the time to make sure that they're okay. And it's yeah, there are times where you're like, oh my gosh, like, how how am I ever going to be able to do all of this stuff and be able to manage it? And it does feel overwhelming and I think, you know, parents always tried to put on a brave face and be like, you know, it's we're good, it's this is this is part of it, it's all part of it.
It's all good. But actually it's it's really hard. It's beautiful and it's amazing and it's magical and it's so much love there, but it's it's hard, and you think, yeah, so some days I just want to kind of I guess I want to say, like two other parents out there that you know, I see you when you're in the trenches for this like there's some difficult age ranges.
It's yeah, it's we're all going through it, and it's a and I guess lots of the parents that have older kids, but like, you'll get through it and you'll wish you were back in this in this stage, so you know, we'll see ask me in two years.
Yeah, yeah, Well that's why I love the show and I love that question because of answers like that, and it just connects people and in a way that makes you feel like, oh my god, I'm not going through this alone and other people think like me, and I just think that's really cool and we can collectively come together and share those speriences that many of us go through and we just don't always talk about. So thank you for answering that, and thank you for hanging out.
I know you've done a lot of press throughout the course of your career, and I'm sure you have a very interesting relationship with press, you know, from your time as a professional athlete and to today. So hopefully you came in here feeling good.
Yeah, it was fun accompany. It's all gone so quickly, I know.
Well, I love your story, I love your documentary. So for everybody listening. It's available exclusively on Olympics dot Com in the US and Discovery Plus in the UK, So everybody watch it right now. It is so fantastic, and thank you for hanging out, and thank you for being a pillar in the community that so many people can look up to.
Well, thank you for having me. And now I have to just stay awake because I'm hoping to go to the theater this evening very nice.
Well, I hope you stay away. Thank you. I've never said this before. It is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Pivle at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Durant podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.