¶ Comparing Sizes and Random Musings
Ahoy hoy , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa . What's up ? My friend Ready set go . What it is , man , my landlocked friend with the ahoy hoy . I love that . That's the best . Not that I'm out here sailing on the West Coast or anything .
It would work on a lake though , wouldn't it , or no ?
Yeah , I guess like Elmo would count Maybe .
Loading a raft with like a I don't know .
Lake Elmo is a small lake in the heights in Billings Montana . It's not very big and it's not very clean . I don't think , unless it's better now . I'm unsure , I don't know . It's been a long time , guys , so no judgment being passed here on purpose .
It's uninspiring , shall we say .
Uninspiring . That's good .
So you know , this is just going to be like kind of we're going to talk and I'm going to Google stuff , I guess , and the reason that we're doing this is because the other day we were talking on the phone and we were talking about the size of Switzerland in comparison of , like , montana and Rhode Island , which I know this is stuff people do kind of know ,
maybe or whatever , but it was fucking funny . So at the end of the day I just thought it'd be kind of funny to like just get Owen's opinion on some things or see what he thinks about stuff you know what I'm saying things , or see what he thinks about stuff . You know what I'm saying .
Like we found out , for example , that switzerland would fit like almost what was it nine times into montana , I feel , because I don't , I don't know , let's do this now how many .
Yeah , yeah , check it because that's it . I didn't think it was that crazy , but I know italy is about 70 the the size of Montana , with 60 times the population . There's a little over a million people in Montana and there's over 60 million in Italy , right .
Bravo , Bravo , Right . I need to get faster at typing Switzerland's fucking long Guys . Cut your shit down . You know they're going to like onkify names like Japan and stuff like that . We need to do something with Switzerland , Dang . It's a very long name , guys .
Anyway , nonetheless , I'm stalling for time , Sorry , and then I got lost because I was getting high before I did this . Switzerland is about one-tenth the size of Montana , so roughly like nine and a half times I don't know . It's only 15,904 square miles , guys , and Montana is like 147,000 , I believe . So we're smart because we use Google sometimes , people .
That's another thing . That's kind of fun , you know , when you just explore random things like that , like hey Ellen , for example . Uh , you know what's your , what's those almonds ? You really like the ones that you're like , oh my God , these are the best fucking things ever , or something .
I mean , like Marcona or Valencia , you're going to win either way . I mean , I like any almonds really , but yeah , the Spanish seem to have the almond market cornered .
Right , so did they come ? Where do almonds come from ? Is it Spain ? I don't know . Do you know , owen ? I just want to know .
I mean , I know those ones too .
Originate from . All right , we're learning stuff . People right now on I Tell Stories . Oh , it's a topic of debate , apparently , but it seems to all land somewhere in Asia . So that's a thing . Yeah , very debatable these almonds , but they did find their way to Spain . Thanks , guys , Right .
They call them almonds . In Winters , california , it's right near where my mom lives and it's a big almond community , but for some reason they call them Almonds .
An almond community Like Amish yeah .
I don't know if they're Amish , but that'd be good alliteration Right . Oh my god , what is their high ?
school mascot . Do you know ? I don't know if they're Amish , but that'd be good alliteration , right ? Amish almond , oh my God .
What is their high school mascot , do you ?
know , I want to say the Hawks , but I could be way off . It's not the Almonds . Yeah , it's not . Oh , hey , you know what Good band the Allman Brothers .
Jesus , get out of there , yeah .
How many of them are ?
Good band though the Allman .
Yeah , they're a mess . Anyway , I don't even know . I don't want to even look into the Allman Brothers . It's a pretty tragic tale , guys , to be honest . We look at musical curses , I believe , right , mm-hmm . So if you want to learn more about the allman brothers , check out musical curses . I tell stories , fold life , hey .
Or maybe check out pillock supplycom and get a I tell story shirt . We have a few , they're pretty cool . All right , guys , let's roll . Podcastlandia and owen mcmichael , the mick himself .
¶ Scottish Castles and German Cuisine
How many castles do you think are in scotland ? Just wild guess more than four . Well , come on per square , uh , 500 . Okay , let's roll . How many castles are in scotland ? This is insane . This is so fast guys . This , this world these days , it's pretty cool . So the answer is over 1,000 to over 3,000 , depending on the source , but you know so .
How hard is it to count castles ? I think we may have touched on this on the Scottish one , just like that's rather vague , or like it's something like oh well , seamus is the Irish , but Angus says it's a castle . It looks like a fucking hut .
Yeah , that ain't a castle , this is a castle . It's like the Australian . Like you know , mick Dundee , you know , big fan of him , by the way . Crocodile Dundee , dundee , you know , big fan of him , by the way , crocodile Dundee , the first one I liked . I grew up on that shit .
Alright , guys , leave me alone about it , but that's how Scotland , this isn't a castle , this is a castle . And then they have a bigger one . Yeah , pretty amazing , though , all those castles that they can't count in Scotland , apparently Like they don't have fucking planes . What's going on with your people , your ancestors .
They're not known for their counting ability , especially after a few squitches ?
why are they so argumentative ? Why do you guys do that shit ? What is going on in history cause it's not just a thing like you think . Willie the groundskeeper from the Simpsons is just kinda like playing on some fucking you know honky racism or what not , I guess , or stereotypical shit , but no , in history the Scots are very indecisive and whatnot .
The reason they say that the Romans were able to kind of corral them was because they couldn't stop fighting each other .
Well , I thought the Romans were just kind of like all right , y'all are fucking crazy , Like we'll just build this wall . You guys can stay here , we won't bother you , Right , Just don't yeah .
Well , it was kind of like the pics right , yeah , but that's like . I don't want to get this wrong , it doesn't matter Anyway , Scots . So why do you think they're so argumentative ? The Scots , Is it the ?
that wouldn't help . I mean I'm I try and you know , or tend to be , a rather good natured individual , but if I was forced to eat fucking , if the best thing I had as an option was a deep fried piece of pizza in Edinburgh , I would probably not be as happy . Go lucky , shall we say . And yeah , I mean the fish has got to be good .
I mean I would hope you would think , but other than that you don't hear anything good about Scottish cuisine .
No , or just .
UK in general , hmm , or even really Ireland , just kind of that . Yeah , it's like you know .
Right Everything I'm seeing online here . Guys , why are Scottish people so aggressive ? And it just says Scottish people are generally known for being friendly and welcoming .
Yeah , that's what I'm thinking . It's like we're basing this off of Groundskeeper Willie . Yeah , I don't know what other aggressive Scotsman is portrayed in major media .
You know , mike Myers , if it's not Scottish , it's crap . All right , let's not forget .
I mean , maybe they just sound . It's kind of like if you ever heard German being spoken , you know you could be saying like oh , welcome to my home , would you like a donut ? And it sounds like you're threatening someone's grandmother , you know .
I mean , it's very just like yeah , I don't know , maybe it's the like no , yeah , it doesn't sound like a , a love language .
A welcoming yeah . Yeah , well , german's not a love language either , but shout out to Germany , by the way . Well , german's not a love language either , but shout out to Germany , by the way . We got some listeners out there consistently . So keep it up , guys . Much love Deutschland , yeah .
Let's see here Ooh , I did try currywurst . That is the hugest thing in Germany , really Apparently . I finally tried that in the last month or so .
What the fuck is that ? I just looked up something about grass .
It's's a bratwurst with curried ketchup , which I'm not typically a huge ketchup guy , but I'm guessing shout out prerogative kitchen Red .
Lodge Montana Right .
I'm looking it up right now . Yeah , so currywurst . So I saw it on Bourdain . He was eating in Germany , I think it was Berlin . He was eating with some film experts at this theater and he's just like and it comes with fries usually , I guess , like there you get everything a la carte , so you order it individually , right ?
But yeah it was delicious , hmm , so Well , anyway , yeah , it's a Again Deutschen . Yes , it is a fast food dish of German origin consisting of sausage with curry ketchup . Hmm , it was invented in 1949 by Hertha Hewitt . I hope I say that , right , hertha . Not sure Our German folks drop us a line if I said that right , that'd be cool .
I don't know , anyway , but apparently there's a Deutsches Currywurst Museum . There's that that exists , and it estimates that 800 million currywursts are eaten every year in Germany . Right , with 70 million in Berlin alone . Jeez Damn . So we think we know everything , america , we don't . I want to eat some currywurst .
That sounds funny to say , but it looked kind of good guys , and I do like french fries . I don't know France . Oh man , we invented french fries , right .
Well , you and I did not . I don't know how much we were drinking at the Shantyplex , but they were already around before we were alive . But I think they are very .
American . Right , they are . Yeah , you know , that's kind of funny . That's kind of like being a fan of a sports team and being like we won the title , you know ? No , you didn't , you watched that game .
You weren't even sitting on the bench , bro . Yeah , you didn't even go to a game this year . They didn't let you , you didn't win .
Yeah , they didn't let you try out . Guy , guy , gal , gal , guy , I don't know . Whatever you want to be , guys , let's see , it's your world . Currywurst that was amazing . Owen Would have dropped some knowledge , so you did try that . That's an amazing German dish .
I don't know much about German food , to be honest , beyond sausage-style things at all actually Sauerkraut , I'm assuming . Right , I don't know , yeah .
Right , Although I mean that's been , it's kind of it's rather similar to kimchi .
I say Well , yeah , yeah .
Just a pickled cabbage Right .
Weird . I wonder , if I don't know much about it . Do you think Germans still like David Hasselhoff ?
He didn't even find out . We were like joking about it and he actually did sing it , like the fall of the Berlin Wall . I was like , oh , a much more , slightly more historical , historically significant event , the Berlin Wall falling than the Hoff singing songs . But I guess the two were in unison .
As the Berlin Wall fell , Hasselhoff sang his salads I tell stories .
God bless , god bless German Hoffers . I guess I don't know if they like to be called that either . By the way , it's not a thing . Hey , I did just find out . Why do Americans think that we Germans like David Hasselhoff ? I've heard this . I don't know , though . I've heard this some time ago , but I have only ever seen him in the SpongeBob movie .
I probably would have never heard of him if it wasn't for that movie . Is it just me , and is he more popular somewhere else in Germany , or where does this come from ?
I don't know . I know of it from Norm MacDonald which if Norm got dressed right that just he would like on the oh , oh , oh .
my God , this is great , bro . Okay , somebody this is , this is there's . Somebody replied to this . Okay , and it says I was only nine when the Berlin Wall came down . But I remember very clearly how David Hasselhoff jumped out of a helicopter , found a horde of East German border guards and hand-to-hand comment for standing in front of these fucking around .
Since that day , I pray to the Hoff every night . That is hilarious . What a good response to this guys .
That is great . I was only 10 when that happened .
But obviously David Hasselhoff didn't jump down and fight guards .
This is why you don't believe me , yeah , no , I didn't think that was a factual . Okay , cool , nice , yeah . I'll remember that the Berlin Wall fell four years to the day before Wu-Tang Clan , 36 Chambers was released to the public . And again , very happy for your freedom , east Germans . We know which one's more culturally significant .
Yeah , just saying what's up . Wu-tang Forever . Hey and Eva , Eva , hey . What's your favorite line ? A rapper that spits a line about the Berlin Wall , do you know ? I don't even know . Oh , Immortal anyway .
I don't think I need to even first song ever on an Immortal album Creation and Destruction right you remember it , colt I imagine , yeah , take a piece of you home , or take you home like a piece of Berlin Wall anyway .
So , nonetheless , that point being made , how much do you think a piece of you home , like you know , or take you home like a piece of Berlin Wall , anyway , so , nonetheless , that point being made , how much do you think a piece of the Berlin Wall goes for right now ?
Well , they're on the Euro now . Right , it's no longer Deutschmarks , yeah , but I mean you don't need . I mean , what piece Like it's , you know ? Is it signed by Hasselhoff ? Then it's priceless , obviously no , I would say more than $4 .
Yeah , okay , well , roughly , I don't know . I'm seeing them all over the place . I'd say one that's about baseball size . You can get it on Amazon for about $54.95 . So you can buy them on Amazon . That's kind of weird how is this authenticated ? I don't know spray paint on this wall . Yeah , germany has our accents . Let us know .
Let us know Americans too , how we do . Let's see , yeah , I don't know , it's kind of funny , they'll have a little bit of spray paint on them . A very emotional thing , I don't know , it's kind of funny , they'll have a little bit of spray paint on them A very emotional thing . I don't think anybody knows about it anymore , though .
Yeah , it's just how shit goes , I guess . And as you get older people which most of you are probably about our age , I'm guessing and like you , start realizing how shit just really does get lost in time . You know , like shit just really does get lost in time . You know , like the , it's just the way of the world . People forget about shit .
That's all there is to it . Too much stuff going on yeah insert bomb anyway . nonetheless , I don't know , is there anything that you're just so inquisitive like ? You just need to know right now , owen , like I mean , there's gotta be this question deep burning type sensation in your soul , of sorts .
You know , I know Owen's got a soul , he's got soul All right , super bad .
Um , I don't know , not at the moment .
Right ? Um , I think we did pretty good , bro . I don't even give a shit . That was pretty fun .
I enjoy talking to you about most things , most of the time , you know just being honest , cheese graters particularly , and general stores , that's a big , big fun topic between Colton and I .
We did just talk about general stores in our last episode actually . Well , I don't know when to stop . Oh , we did In general .
Sorry , I'm stealing that whole , just general store thing , not stealing but Aglo New York y'all .
That's what's up .
Borrowing it . But just , there's a great line in Curb your Enthusiasm where Larry goes on a date with a woman and Jeff's agent set him up with her and oh , you know how was it ? Oh , it was great . We had a great conversation Like oh , what did you talk about ? We talked about general stores . We talked about my love for general stores .
I don't know why I find that so fucking hilarious . They're in , you know , ritzy LA . There's just not a General Store to be found . Yeah , but that's Larry's sarcastic response . Yeah , it made me love General Stores even more , as I have been to a couple . Right , red .
Lodge even has a General
¶ Musical Shout-Out and Future Plans
Store . I think Smoothie has a song called General Store . I'm serious on that Rusty Squeezebox album . Yeah , I'm pretty sure of it . Anyway , shout out , smoothie . Mr Biscuit , yeah , shout out , smoothie . Check him out if you haven't . Anyway , indeed , that was fun .
Anyway , this might become like eventually , when we get some more stuff wrangled together , like part of our members-only episode sort of deal . So hope everybody enjoyed it and , if anything , we'll be hitting you with some episodes soon .
All right , Much love everybody , Yep Peace .