Welcome everybody to I Married Bipolar. Today is going to be a fun day. We need to lighten things up a little bit. And I really want to give everybody some accolades about where we've been, where we're going, what we've done. And if you watch the Grammys, you should be inspired. It was such a good show. Davina, Bridget, were you able to watch the Grammys? Oh, I just watched the end. So I didn't see the whole show. You didn't see the whole show. Okay. How about you, Davina?
Did you see enough of it? Enough to make a status about it that I watched it. Like, I just know some of the stuff that they were performing. I was like, oh, those are definitely words that you're singing up there, but no, it sounds bad. That was my dad. That's what he said. I know. You know what? I'm telling you the secret to youth, okay, is to stay current on music. Know who the people are that are at the Grammys, and it will keep you young, I promise you. I love the Grammys.
I'm obsessed with all musicians, especially when they're new. I love to see what they're doing with new music. I like when people are breaking rules and breaking boundaries and get out there, ruffle some feathers, get people upset, make them think, make them think for themselves. Not everybody's going to be walking the same walk and talking the same talk. We need to be able to embrace our diversity, and that's what music does.
Music forces us to think differently and to feel differently and to cross all boundaries of these cultural lines that we keep drawing. We're in the same category with mental health, right? Bipolar is quite the category itself, and it has a very scary rap about it, and rightfully so. It's earned its title of top three most destructive mental illnesses that you can have, but does that mean we throw it away? We throw people with bipolar away?
No. We just stay up with the times, everybody, and enjoy what you're seeing because everything is a reflection of the cultural thoughts. It's all one thinking. So if we have people that are living with chronic illnesses, it's coming from chronic thinking anyway. So there are things that we have to pay attention to. There are things that need to be raised up and shine a light on and get some growth out of it. So I absolutely love when people push boundaries, and I love a good comeback story.
Oh, my God. Did any of you used to watch VH1, Behind the Music? Who's old enough to remember VH1, Behind the Music? They would follow all the bands around, like Fleetwood Mac up to Motley Crue and everywhere in between.
God, their stories were so just dramatic and tragic, but the way they came together was always about just creating, just the excitement, almost the manic merging of a group of people that were so excited to share skills that they had, and then to be crazy enough to take it out on the road across the world until there's millions of people watching them and clamoring over them.
And of course, there's tragedies in between, even though many of them were very wealthy and started receiving all the physical accolades that they wanted, they still had all the same family dynamics that we have to fight in your average, middle class, working class family on who are the heroes, who are the victims, who are the invisible ones, who are the caretakers. You know what I mean?
All these roles that happen, it happens in all the groups, no matter how much money you make, no matter how successful you get. I love the Grammys this year. They really came way up from, during the pandemic, it was terrible, but they took the time to really let the music speak for itself. And there was primarily, I think there was seven women that were nominated. Most of the categories, it was female artists.
So that again, is a beautiful thing that I love to see that we have so much history that's still current. I mean, I'm in my fifties, y'all, but my heart is still in the eighties. I'm not going to get old because of music. So I wanted to take this energy, if y'all are feeling me a little bit, and you can be a fricking rock star in your own personal life. Doesn't, you may not get a Grammy from the Academy or the Recording Academy, but you'll get a Grammy from me.
Okay. Here, we're going to play a little game. I have nominations for different categories today. Believe me, we listen to your stories, Bridget, Davina, myself and Christie. She can't be here today. She might pop on later, but we really do listen to your stories and we've been listening for three years and taking them in and we pray for you behind your back. And, you know, we talk about what we wish you could have as a breakthrough.
So I want you to be recognized for the things that you are breaking through in your life. All right. So here's some categories. The first category is Boundary Machine. All right, everybody. So my nominations for Biggest Boundary Machine is Shayna, Sonia, Monica, and Davina. Shayna, I don't want to say it this way, Shayna, but put her back into rehab. I mean, really didn't. He had to go. Allowed her husband to go back to rehab three times. Is that right, Shayna?
Three times because she could not bring him back into the home until he was stabilized. Three freaking times. If that's not a boundary machine, I don't know what is. Shayna says, that's a compliment considering I didn't know what a boundary was in 2022. Okay. And Sonia. Sonia has definitely become a boundary machine. She's a little on the flight category though, because she might just bail. That might be her answer. Oh, she left us now. See what she did. Monica. I can't hear what we're saying.
So I told her to go out and come back in because how could you miss your own nomination? Okay. Okay. She's back, Sonia. She's back. All right. Yes. Sonia is nominated for Boundary Machine, but with the caveat that Sonia might just leave his ass there and take a vacation. That might be her boundary. I'm okay with that. And then who else? Monica. Monica is a boundary machine because her loved one was gone for 10 months.
And when he broke through his cycle and came home and said he wanted to come home, she said, yes, you can. You can move in right next door until we get you to the doctor and get your treatment plan set up. That was a trained conscious woman from the heart healers group. Now that was a boundary machine. And finally, our final nominee is our very own moderator, Davina. I'm nominating Davina as a boundary machine because this girl said, all I want from you is a safety plan.
I want you to sit down with me and go through my safety plan. And we're going to look at the red flags, the yellow flags, the green flags, and we're going to have a strategy on how we're going to do this together. And she did not let her partner come back in without that. She's still holding that boundary, even though it breaks her heart. And we've had lots of tearful polos about it. She's holding the boundary because she will not go any further until he meets her at the table. Who do we have?
Does anybody want to tell me? Who do you think is the biggest boundary machine? I am voting for myself. I haven't had to really set nearly as hard of a boundary as I think Shaina and Sonia have, because mine is just, you don't get to come back at all. I don't have to rebuild and redo nearly what they have had to do. I just got to shut the door. I don't have to clean up as much of a mess. I don't have to raise a baby by myself. I'm not saying what I'm doing ain't hard.
I'll be bronze or something. You're going to take the bronze award? Okay. And then I'm going to say that this year's boundary machine is Shaina for making sure that her husband stayed in treatment until he was safe enough to come home. What do you think, everybody? Give me some rounds of applause down there. All right. Shaina, if you can come up, give us an update. All right, Shaina, here you go. You win the biggest boundary machines. How do you feel? I feel pretty excited.
Like I said, I literally didn't know what a boundary was and my friends had to explain it to me. I've come a long way, but thanks, everybody. Everything's going pretty good over here, so it's good. Give us an update. Give us a quick update. Well, my hubby's sick with strep throat, so he's been pretty tired and sick, but a week and a half going on two weeks since he's been home.
Of course, I had so much anxiety over what the right next thing to do was, but I figured I could always pivot if things went awry when he came home, but things have been going good. He's been going to an AA meeting every day. He's committed to do 90 for 90 days, and he's just been doing all his own stuff. He's been applying for jobs, and he even got a job that he's supposed to be starting tomorrow. I've just been pleasantly surprised so far.
Of course, it's been a week and a half, so I'm trying to not get too attached to a certain outcome. It's perfectly okay for you to be excited to have your husband home and for your family to be together and your baby. I know we proceed with caution, and we're always saying, don't sleep on bipolar. You're not going to because you already know too much to sleep on bipolar, but I want you to enjoy this. You've earned it. The three of you have earned it. He's done the work. You've done the work.
You guys have poured in time and money and prayers and love into this, so we are rooting for you 100%. If things slip back, it's okay. A little remission isn't going to ruin you because you're ready now. You got enough tools to catch things on time, so I'm really, really rooting for you. Okay, everybody, give Shane a love. You are the first winner of Bipolar Grammys. All right. Is anybody having as much fun as me so far? All right. Next category is self-aware superstar.
Annabelle, Sonia, Kimberly T., Lilia, and Candace. All right. The reason why these are my self-aware superstars, let me start with Candace. She knew that she was in a very low place in her relationship. When she found me, she just basically said, I already looked you up. I already know what you're doing. I need to know how to get into that class. She found a way to make it happen. Before the class even started, there was some kind of a car situation that took up all her money.
Something happened, and then she said, no, I'm still going to make it happen. I'm going to be there. Within the first three weeks, she had a considerable breakthrough to where when we were doing Marco Polos, not only just on the Heart Healers Marco Polos, but to me, those polos were when you see yourself when you first wake up and you got your hair like a cave woman and your eyes are swollen from crying the night before, your nose is all red. Those were the polos that I was getting from Candace.
She looked busted and broken, and I felt terrible for her, but she kept showing up. She put her face in the polos. She showed up to Heart Healers. She began to take her power back. She was becoming aware that she was getting swallowed up by her partner's symptoms and by the energy that was in her house.
She grabbed a hold of her spiritual practices again, went back to therapy, got a new mental health evaluation, and just sent us a report with an entirely new picture of where she was, a self-harming, potentially suicidality woman on the brink of a mental breakdown, and she has become now a self-aware superstar. So I think that Candace should be the winner for self-aware superstar, everybody. I'm trying to do the hand claps. There we go. Okay, Candace, you are the winner of self -aware superstar.
Just let us love you. Davina, do you have some feedback for Candace? I just want to say that it is really amazing how you try to find a solution to everything while still maintaining who you are. Like you have so many plates spinning right now, and you're still like, I'm still going to figure out what's going on with me so I can be the best version of myself for all the people I love in my life, and that's just wonderful.
I was listening to your polo while I was driving home, and I was just like, gosh, you have really had to go through it, and you have become and will continue to become an amazing person because of that, because you look at it from all the angles. It's not just, oh, this is happening to me. You look at why things are happening, and I think that is huge, especially when you're stuck in crisis.
I was going to say, I don't know, Candace, but what you said, Temple, about taking your power back, I think at some point we've all felt that. And so, you know, I think that's why we all come here. I'm just so proud of everyone, and I think we should put that on a t -shirt. More merch? What's the line? Taking my power back. Taking my power back. Slaying my dragons. Yes. Bridget, would you stay on here and talk a little bit about one of our other nominees, Annabelle?
Because you do know Annabelle and what she's been through. She's one of our OGs. Why would you think that she is a self-aware superstar? Well, I haven't been in the Heart Healers groups, but I have been in the Brain Gang with Annabelle. The Brain Gang. But I think, you know, she's aware of all the stressors that she has beyond dealing with bipolar and the symptoms and how that manifests. But, you know, she's very aware of, like, stress from work and how that plays into her overall health.
And so I think, like, she just has a way of trying to balance it all and bring her life back into balance. Not just saying, well, it's only bipolar that's causing stress in my life for these negative things. And then I know she's been, like, working out and trying to get healthier. So I think overall, she's just kind of taken back her power to say, I'm going to be healthy. My family's going to be healthy. That's exactly right. That was it, Annabelle.
You are definitely our self-aware superstar because you've done all the things. You started here at Clubhouse. You were, like, one of my first Clubhouse contestants that showed up and started talking about your story. And you've shown up for everything that you've been guided to do, whether it be a one-on-one with me, whether it be going to a brain gang, you know, getting your husband involved.
And then the times that you've called me personally to say, oh, I think depression is back or I think anxiety is back. The awareness without having to, you know, shame yourself about it, to me, makes you a superstar because it doesn't do us any good to push those things down and just hope that it dissipates in some kind of way, you know, to have the strength to reach out, to appear. And sometimes I have a good answer.
Sometimes my answer is you're having a bad day, you know, and maybe sometimes I just want to cheer you up, but all of those things you let me do. So again, you are a superstar in my eyes, and she provides for her family, her kids. She supports her husband in his growth and keeps holding space for him to have his full recovery. There's some backslides, but there's been a lot of forward growth. So we love you, Annabelle.
We did have a conversation about Annabelle was looking for a little more power in her life as well. And I think I've coached a lot of you about this to find that archetype in you. Like Beyonce has her special archetype that she uses to get out on stage. She has a different name. She has a different personality. I have some kind of mesh of Tina Turner and Lizzo and Stevie Nicks all like to get me to get in front of people and have the power to do it.
I have to jump into my archetype that has the power to do the things that I want to do that don't believe the things that I say about myself that are untrue, right? That I can't do this, that I'm not effective, that this is all a sham. Who am I? Who is this girl to think she can help anybody? All those lies that I tell myself, my archetype, my boss, babe, she knows what to do. And I jump into her power. And Annabelle said Taylor Swift was her boss, babe, and she's going to channel her.
And she did have a breakthrough moment. Annabelle, are you available to accept your award? Sure. I closed more business today at work. It felt great. So nice working. Yep. But at home, bipolar is kind of a hot mess. Yeah, that's all good. We're just having breakthrough symptoms. So thanks, guys. You're welcome. You are nominated. Candace won, but you're right up there. You've been around for a while, but we're so proud of you and everything that you do to keep your family going.
Annabelle, we just love you. Thanks, you guys. Appreciate it. Love you guys too. And the other ones that I had on the list were Sonia. She is definitely, that girl does daily self -awareness practices. She'll take a picture of her book and send them out to us. Lilia, you don't know her very well yet. Lilia came on to Heart Healers. She showed up here one time and basically said, there's too much of a hot mess going on at my house for me to be able to talk to 13 people about it.
And so she switched from being in the Heart Healers to one-on-ones with me. And I thought that that was very self -aware to be able to just say, this is not what I can do right now, but I do need something. And the other one is Kimberly T. Kimberly T. is very aware of not only what her spouse's symptoms are, but her own personal symptoms. And she also has symptoms that she has to contend with. They're very difficult when you're triggered to manage when you're triggered.
But Davina, you told me that she had a breakthrough last Saturday. Can we give her some love about that? It was so beautiful. And I don't know how much she wants us to share because it was in a conversation with Shaina and Sonia and myself. And she said that basically us having boundaries and confidence in our choices and reassuring her that she deserves all of the things that are good really helped her find her lady balls.
And she wrote a letter to her husband that was like, I'm here if you want to do this and do it right and do it in a healthy way. But otherwise, financially, I'm cutting you off. And I know how hard that was for her because she was really all he's got besides his aunt that he could turn to. And she realized that that was doing her and their relationship a disservice and him too, for that matter.
So she's very soft spoken and very gentle and compassionate because the audience she works with and her own struggles. But to just watch her like get it together and really do it with love was just amazing. And it was such a privilege. Oh, you know, I just love that. I love that so much for her. And I love that you as her peer support recognize that she needed a shift. And it's really hard when you know how sick they are.
And you know that they're not self aware to try to set a boundary when they're that sick is devastating sometimes to our own little hearts, right? All we want them want to do is just get them up out of that situation and get them home, get them back into treatment. But I heard her saying it in our one on one that she was going down energetically. And I could see her energetically sending out those cords of energy that we do to our loved ones.
Like if I could just send them enough love, then they'll feel it. And they'll remember where they're supposed to be. But what happened is also in reverse that the energy cords that you're connected to run both ways. So the energy that she was sending to him, he was also sending back to her, which was his illness. And it really started to tank her down.
So we talked about protecting her own energy and just only leaving herself open to her source energy and anybody else that only is sending love and everything else had to be filtered out. In case y'all don't know, I'm an energy healer first and I'm a coach second. We always have to look at everything as energy, even if it's a clinical state, the energy is what is leading the way. And then we support it with clinical support, supplemental support, education, all that other good stuff that we do.
But energy and love leads the way. And I saw Kimberly take her power back as well by saying, I'm not going to stay connected to that energy and let it drain me. I'm going to hold back and let him find his way back while she fights the whole entire mental health system of Oregon, which I applaud her and I support her for that. Okay. Let me see. Where are we now? Our next category is goal getter. Okay. Goal getter. Okay. Crystal, you are nominated. Roger is nominated.
Teresa is nominated and Donna is nominated as our goal getter. Bipolar Grammy this year. Reasons are that every single one of you have leaned in to the goals of what it means to love somebody with bipolar. And we really did watch you, Crystal. You have just been chugging along like a fricking rock star, doing your own work, building your own business, dancing in front of your reels, gathering with your girls. I haven't had any crying breakdown polos in a while.
So I feel like you are just focused on your own personal goals. And you know when a cycle hits you in the face that you know what to do. Stop, drop and roll. You got all your tools, your safety plan, boundary, boundary, love, love. Here's some glucose. Not sure what you're doing these days exactly, but I'm still watching you, girl. Believe that. Donna's not here.
I want Donna to know that we definitely see how hard it was for you to make this last leg of the run where the heartbreak came, bipolar ran away, left her in the weeds. He's off in the wind and just never came back. How fucking devastating is that? And Donna kept showing up here, not knowing if he was coming back. But the longer he was gone, the more she had to come to terms with it that if he was able to be well with her, that he would be.
And she joined the last Heart Healers, Heart Healers in Wonderland. There's 14 of us. She was the only one that didn't have a partner, but she showed up. She showed up for it. And she trusted me that I knew she needed to be there. And she said it was the peace that helped her to move on, to know that there is more for her. That's a goal-getter in my book. Donna, we love you. And I know you've had some other things kick your ass lately, but nothing's going to ever keep you down.
Does anybody want to say anything about Donna's journey in the last year? Donna has really shown me that you can do this with grace, strength, humor, and a little bit of, you know, go fuck yourself. Because she realized, almost like in the span of a couple weeks, I don't deserve this. I deserve better. I'm making the changes. And that's it. I remember when she was so sad and heartbroken and waiting and kind of spiteful in a way, like totally understandably.
But it was like something just flipped one day. And she was like, I'm gonna do what's good for me. And that's helped me find my own balls, I guess. I totally agree. You know, she's just brought so much love to the table.
And it's really hard, like Danny, your perfect example of, you know, one of our ladies that has such a beating heart for people that just like loves on autopilot, then to be donkey kicked in the heart by the person that you love the most, you think that it would take that person down, but it didn't. Donna continued to love on us through the entire Heart Healers and her daughter and Danny, you in the same way.
You just found a way to pull yourself back into your own energy and love on your daughter and attract a new partner that is loving and generous to you with his heart. So I want to give that to you as well as the goal getters that are not gonna let any type of adversity, turn them into somebody that they're not. Oh, gosh. And Teresa, you are in that category, because Teresa made a goal that she wanted to move forward from the pain that she was living with her son.
And I really honestly felt like I didn't have, you know, whenever I talk to people in one on ones, my mouth just starts running like there's information that comes in. But when Teresa came to me, I felt like I didn't have enough for her. But until we got onto a one on one, and she really told me her story. And then God let me in on it. You know what I mean? Like, I really felt it. I felt the whole picture of what she's been living with.
And it helped me to have a level of empathy that I didn't truly understand before about what a miracle it is, Teresa, that you're even somebody that shows up with a smile on her face and wants to help others and being part of writing books and educating people after these huge losses that you've been through. And we saw you switch from barely being able to speak about your situation without tears coming. And then week four, she got to the I'm not giving any fucks category. Right?
The arena and heart healers and said, I'm just not going to care about that right now. And to me, that was a huge goal to get to that because that means you're about to start caring more about yourself. And that's when the real power starts coming back. That's the real dragon is when you'll take on your own care. Teresa, you want to unmute? Hi. Yeah, I am. I'm more concerned about my grief healing right now.
And I thank you so much Temple for introducing me to Christie, because I told her what was going on. I didn't really care for my counselor's response. I was like, I can't shut off my thought patterns. I can't just say, Oh, I'm just not going to think that thought and dismiss it because it just keeps coming back. And so Christie told me that she knew somebody that helped and and she's gone through it to where she went through forgiveness class.
It's kind of weird to say I'm going to sit here and forgive myself for something I'm not responsible for. But because I felt so responsible for my oldest son, all of his life, it seems something I can't let go of. I truly miss taking care of him. So yeah, I like this group here. And the heart healers. Thank you. You know, of course you do. It's very weird. I don't know how many of us have been in a caretaker role.
But when you get caregiver burnout, that's when you're doing the same thing every day, taking care of somebody, but there's not progress. It's just a way of life. And caregivers can get burnt out by just the cycle of repetition. It can really wear out your psyche. And I didn't know that was a real thing until another counselor came along and told me, Temple, you are in caregiver burnout because your husband has been consistently sick for so long.
And now you have a mom who has the same cycles of illness that you're doing the same thing without progress. You are going to burn out. You have to have variety for your brain to stay healthy. You have to have relief. You have to have days off. All these things that I was like, oh, I didn't even know. And as hard as I thought it was, as hard as I felt that it was, like, oh gosh, I wish I could just be relieved of this somehow. When it's not there, you then feel like there's a void.
And that's what's missing. That grief is there's a huge slice of your life that is now not there anymore. And what are you supposed to do with it? So I do empathize, Teresa. And I'm so glad that you and Christy connected. I knew immediately when Christy came in and you said you wanted to talk to her that you two would be a great match. I hope that you keep working with her and your growth has been beautiful to watch. And we really do love you, Teresa, for your consistency.
And my other buddy on the goal getter is Roger. I don't know if you're working, Roger, but we would love to hear from you and talk with you. I've got you on the Bipolar Grammy as the goal getter because you have been the most consistent checker inner that I have ever had besides Sonia about showing up on the Marco Polos. You took it in as I'm going to just lean into this method. You don't know who I was. You don't know what is this girl going to have me do.
But you're very intuitive and you read people very well and you just let me lay down a strategy for you and you leaned all the way into it and said, here's your goal. Talk to me every day, Monday through Friday. I want you to talk to me Monday through Friday, every day. Tell me something. Check in. Tell me what you're hearing, what you're seeing, what you're feeling, what you're smelling, what you're laughing at, what you're pissed at. Just say something every single day and you did it.
You've done it for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and you have met your goals and now the shift is coming where you are going to level up to be a boundary machine. But it took you being so consistent with your goal to talk. That's what you told me. I need to talk about this in a safe place and that's what you did, buddy. You are a great way for me to wake up to your clarity and your insight and your fits and your tears and all of it.
I'm so privileged that I get to see your process and you've let me in. Thank you for being a goal getter. If you're able to unmute and say something about your nomination, please do. Thank you, Temple. Thank you, ladies. I appreciate it. Let me take out my speech, but thank you. I didn't prepare anything. But it's very nice to finally find a community where I don't feel I'm alone. Thank you, Temple.
I think you deserve the Grammy for doing the work, for putting the infrastructure in place for us to come as we are, when we want to come. I've made some pretty nice connections. Some people I'll be in touch with for a while. There's a lot of other offshoots from this work. Thank you very much. I think we all appreciate it. Clap to you, Temple. Thank you. Thank you, Roger. Thank you for the accolades back. Crystal, can you unmute and talk to me about being the one to blame?
I know that Crystal's been on the other end of that. How about you, Davina? Ever heard that one? Oh, that I'm- You the problem. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's funny because I am more than happy to own all of my Alphabet Soup diagnoses and how they contribute to my interactions with people and relationships. I think it's funny. It's like, you're the problem. But the problem is not what you think it is.
Me being messy and disorganized and late for everything is not why our relationship burst into flames. It's not. Right. I hear you. You know what? Sometimes I am the trigger. I am, and we've done it. You've seen me on Marco Polo where, oh, look what I did. I tripped the wire. I knew he wasn't feeling well, but problem was I wasn't feeling well either. So, can't always be on top of our game 100% of the time. And when you have two people not feeling well, somebody's going to get triggered.
So, yeah, I was the problem. It was me. Which means you got to take a step back and then let the dust settle and see what exactly is going on around here. Okay, next nomination is for Best Clinician. The person that knows more about what's going on with the big picture, mind, body, brain, cells, spirit, I have nominated Bridgette. Davina is definitely my best clinician. Candice always has something very helpful to bring in. I voted myself in on this one. I nominate myself as Temple.
Very well-rounded as a clinician. I'll take that. And Kimberly A, if you've ever talked to Kimberly A, she is very well aware of the totality of what she lives with herself and what her husband is living with. And she talked her husband into coming to the brain gang, okay, which is not an easy thing to do.
But after she went through her own personal pains, got all her tools in place, then became a boundary machine, she was able to talk to her husband about getting a consultation with Dr. Stevens, getting on the brain gang, and then together we watched, she watched her husband become a neuroscientist right in front of our eyes because he had to realize that this was a brain problem first. Both of them were fighting about who was right and who was wrong.
But the real problem was the guy has tinnitus so badly that his ears are ringing on fire all the time. So that might drive somebody to be cranky. And that's just one category of neurological symptoms that he's been having for years that are sending him into cycles, needing things to be perfect, some OCD tendencies in there, pushing himself way too hard, not wanting to give up control of things. All of these are deficits of a brain that is under-fueled. So now Kimberly A is a rock star clinician.
She knows what's up. She keeps him on his glucose and the two of them are working as a team. So I would like to give the award to Kimberly A for the greatest realization of what she was really dealing with. Do we have anything for me? I do miss her and her insight here. She is so just calm and soothing and just as a human, it's like, you know, she really does have to consider so many different things between her own diagnoses and her husband.
And she'll find some stuff out, especially after what she had to deal with, with the religious persecution from her church. Like you would think at that point, she'd just be like, I'm never having faith again. And instead she's balancing science and faith and reality. And I think that's wonderful. Yes. Thank you for saying that. That is real right there because many of us have a very strong faith, but you try to put bipolar into a church and people freak out.
They start trying to pray the demons out of you and telling you that if you just prayed hard enough, then you wouldn't be bipolar. So it's a tough gig to present to certain churches. And she really was what I call dogmatically abused by structural religion when what she really needed was to be prayed with, to just be supported in her faith, that she could have the strength to get through a very debilitating illness with her husband and have the patience.
And she said that she found that with us, that because we still bring spirit and faith into a room of people that come from all different cultures, religiously, spiritually, that it gave her the safety to continue to love God in her own way and pray for her husband and pray with her sister and her group. She was able to take a tool back that was a strength of hers instead of having to hide it. Yes. Yay. That's so beautiful. I had no idea that it gave her that, I guess, that much.
I don't know that she drew so much off of that. I think it's wonderful. It is wonderful. You know, that's what we can't, I really get frustrated when people put us in boxes. That's why I use all different kinds of words, but sometimes it's source, sometimes it's God, sometimes it's universe, sometimes it's energy, but I don't want anybody to feel like you're locked in a box that you can't have your own spiritual strength in this room.
You do your practices, you do your prayers, whatever it means for you to stay connected to something that is bigger than your little body and your little spirit bubble. We need to have that because we've been given a big assignment, a really big assignment to hold space for something that most people will never understand. So we have to have something more to tap into. Oh man, some good stuff's happening today. How are you doing over there, Dani? How do you feel about this category?
How do you feel being back home here? I loved it. I loved all the celebration and the awards for all these good things that we don't realize are important parts of living with bipolar and having success. You've told a ton of good stories today that people have benefited just from knowing that stuff. So that's awesome. I loved it.
I'm so glad you're here to celebrate because you're somebody that we have celebrated behind your back quite a bit, and everybody knew that you had to make a really hard decision and draw a really hard boundary for your own health and your family's health, and I'm sure there's still plenty of story there. So I hope that we get to have you back as a special guest to really tell us all the juicy details of everything you've been through without triggering you too far off the chain.
But you know, everybody loves you and misses you, and there's a big piece of love of our love puzzle that has been missing since you've been gone, but I just 100 % respect that you needed to take care of you. That's what has to happen, but what I'm seeing here is that you still have a heart for advocacy and you have a heart for women and people that are being taken under by an illness that you know how dangerous it is. So I don't think your time from our group is over by any means.
I'm just glad you're here today. We love you. Thank you. I love you guys. Yeah, you guys helped me get through some of the craziest shit. It got really sketchy there for a minute, but guess what? I'm over here smiling today, having a good time, having a much better, much calmer, much safer life, and every day I need to do something, and I just, that was part of it. Like, turn off all my notifications in my phone to every single app just so that I can focus on. I have a daughter.
She's on the autism spectrum. She requires a lot, and it's just me and her, and now I have a boyfriend who's really awesome and helpful, but for a while there, it was just us, and I really needed to, like, put the big girl panties on and, like, get moving instead of just drowning my sorrow. So you guys helped me so much with that, and I'm sorry to just ghost you guys. I didn't mean to just ghost, but I'd be happy to come back and tell you all about it. I love you guys. Thanks for having me.
Yes, absolutely, and like I said, we do get it. I get it. You know, there's people that their relationships ended, and they just could not come back in and talk about bipolar. It's as simple as that. You just had to preserve yourself. I mean, not everybody's a fanatic like I am, Dani, and I understand that, so there's definitely no hard feelings, only love.
That's why I keep coming here, because there's been so much feedback, and every time I think I can't do this anymore, there'll be another wave of people that come in that say, hey, oh my god, this is exactly what I've been looking for, so I can't let go because I don't want there to not be a place for people to come and find this type of environment. Okay, so next category. I have a couple of quick ones here. I've got a new one for you. This one is resource rock star.
These are like honorable mentions. I want to say resource rock stars. In case you don't know this, Bridget is a tremendous resource. She doesn't talk a lot, but she is a library of information. It's hard to find her because she's not on social media either, but if you get stuck on something, anything physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, she has an article for you.
So if you're stuck on their narcissism or you're stuck on their depression, anything that's going on in your relationship or with you that you're stuck on, hit up Bridget. She's got an article for you. Whether it's BP Hope or she reads the New York Times every day, she's got something to give. She loads me up with articles all the time. That's where I get, you know, I have so many that I can't keep up with. I've made her put them all in a spreadsheet, but she is a resource machine.
And also Davina, she's more than a resource machine. She lawyers up all the time. Anytime I'm like, wow, listen to this story. She goes, oh, that doesn't sound right. Let me, let me do a background check on this. Oh, the laws in Florida are ABC, X, Y, Z, blah, blah, blah. And she'll tell me something about what's going on with their physical body. You know, she's a wealth of information. Davina, I nominate you as a resource rockstar.
Can you tell people a little bit about why you are a resource rockstar? Well, thank you. I, I don't like not understanding something. Like I'm not one of those people who's like, oh, that's it. That's what it is. That's the answer. No, I want to know how we got there. I want to know who created the theory. I want to know who wrote the law. What did the bill consist of? Like I wanted to be an attorney for years until I realized I've spent enough of my life arguing.
So that's why I went into the advocacy direction and learned more about that because I feel like I can make more change there instead of trying to start my own practice where I can't use cuss words. Like that's not going to work. I don't ever want to not be empowered. And I want other people to know that this stuff is out there. It's just a little hard to find sometimes. So here you go. Absolutely. Absolutely.
But you, you have helped me so many times Davina where I get very focused on the emotional support category and having something to say that helps guide them back to center. And then you will come in with some facts that just shorten the whole process. You bring me back to that. This is a real clinical situation that we're dealing with. There can be lawyers involved. There can be CPS involved. What are the laws? People are getting divorced. There's lots of things happening.
I don't have that kind of background. So you've been just a godsend in that area. So I love you. And here's your nomination and award for Resource Rockstar. I think part of it too is I've been involved in the court system since I was like two years old. So I figured I might as well understand what the heck I'm dealing with. Yes. I'm the same way. I dive in until I feel satisfied that I can do something about it. Okay. We're getting close to closing this out.
Malia, you are nominated in two categories. The first one is Bipolar Zen Master because Malia was able to get into a car with a symptomatic spouse and drive from Colorado to San Diego without a bipolar blowout. I mean, that takes serious skills, people. And I remember you calling me saying, things are pretty good right now. I'm a little nervous. I don't know. It kind of feels shitty to have to take them to rehab when we're doing okay.
And I said, do not look a gift angel blessing in the mouth here because what's happening is God has given you the gift of a peaceful trip being locked in the car with symptomatic bipolar. I think that you handled it perfectly by not poking the beast, by not bringing up everything that you were upset about, having to take care of the kids by yourself and work and be the provider.
You just were a perfect steppard wine, held it in and got your husband the help that he needed to get and he's there now. So you get that award for Bipolar Zen Master. Malia, come on up. Unmic if you can and accept your award. Thank you. It's the award you never wanted to receive. Thank you for the worst award ever. You're welcome. I'll take that one. How many hours were you in the car and how did you do? That's 18 hours. I think it was dry over two days. And yeah, you said it.
I think you said it from day one when he started talking about wanting to get go into rehab. You said step for wife, like you just have to. And I hated that. I hated every bit of it, but it was true. It was like not rocking the boat at all because that was it. That was our only goal was to get him there. Our goal wasn't to work on our marriage. Our goal wasn't to work on his bipolar or him to stop, get him to stop drinking. Our goal was just to get him to rehab.
And so I think you would like to thank the Academy. I think sometimes we can get ahead of ourselves so much of thinking like, like even right now, he's doing well down at rehab and we talk every night and there's a part of me that's like, oh, he's doing good. So let's start talking about our issues. And it's like, no, stop. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it back. You don't even know if you're going to need to talk about that once he stabilizes, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It might just be okay.
Yes. Well from the Academy, thank you for the acknowledgement. I thought I was going to get one of those like lifetime, like the person who's been married to bipolar for the longest. Like, isn't that what Joni Mitchell got? Like, I was kind of hoping I could get the journey, the lifetime achievement award. Yeah. I mean, well, I don't know. Bridget's been married 20 years. How long you've been married? 21. 21. Oh my God. Hey, we have two lifers right there. Oh, well, we're so proud of you, Malia.
We really missed you in the heart healers. You really pitched out on us there. I know I need, I need to do over. It just came at such crazy time. Do over, you know, we were praying for you the whole time. I know. All right. Let's wrap this up. I want to nominate. I just want to let some other people know what your nominations were under best new album. Okay. Best turn of life is what I'm talking about. I've got Malia, Teresa, Kendra.
Kendra got her booty handed to her by her bipolar spouse, ripped everything out from under her, left her in the weeds. Girl's been handling her business. She's just been handling her business step-by -step day-by-day, finding a way to make it work using Davina has been helping her find resources. I think that you are going to come out of this a type of unbreakable woman, Kendra, honestly, also under best new album. I have Quinnetta, Monica. Monica started a new life. Her husband came back.
She set the boundaries down. He's been in treatment. He came back home and they are working on recovery. You know, it's still not puppies and rainbows or strippers and burritos, Danny. It's quite not quite to strippers and burritos yet, but they are loving each other. He's been as helpful as he can, and they're working on brain recovery. But the bottom line is their family is together and they are creating safety. So amen to them. Quinnetta is a boundary machine.
And she also said, I've done enough. I've done enough. And I'm not going to sacrifice my future for this person that has been lying, scheming, cheating, and all the bipolar shenanigans that he could come up with to burn his marriage down. And Queen Quinnetta said, hell no, not going to do it anymore. He had all his chances and she's going to move on. Quinnetta, how have you been feeling these days with the separation? Do you have any updates? I've actually been doing okay.
My lease is up coming up soon. He has 12 days to get his stuff out. And then that's the end. I no longer have to see him. Oh, wow. You know, I am the worst at ending anything just for the record. When you made your decision, even though you had your moments where you thought this feels terrible, trouble focusing at home, loneliness, all those things start to set in and really shake your foundation, but you didn't stop. You kept moving forward. What we talked about was what is your true vision?
You have the same vision now that you went into your marriage with. And somewhere it took a left at Albuquerque, right? Your vision still gets to be your vision. And if somebody set your vision on fire, it's okay for you to walk out of the ashes and recreate. I'm so proud of you. You're such an amazing woman. I just really adore the time that we have spent together and that you keep showing up. So please don't leave us. Even if that relationship is over, you're still one of us.
Congratulations on your award for Best New Album of the Year, Quinnetta. I do have one other category for Bipolar Zen Master. Okay, wait, that was Malia. Quinnetta, you were also nominated for that. And Rick was nominated for that. Rick keeps his grounding and he stays focused on the goal, which is to keep safety in his home. And he has had the attacks from bipolar verbally, the shame and the blame. It's your problem, not me. The denial of symptoms, the denial of the diagnosis, all of it.
And he's stayed steady. So I want to put two men in their own category of the best dad moves. Rick and Roger have had the most focus on their kids and what it's going to take to provide their kids with the stability that they need and the understanding that they need to be able to make some big moves here. So congratulations to Rick and Roger on that one. I want to thank you all for showing up. I have such a long list of people.
It's so beautiful when we break it down and see how many of us have come so far. If you are new, please be a part of this community. We love you. We will continue to love on you and we'll have a good time doing it. So let's just close out and let you know that you are a star. Every single one of you is a star in my eyes. I love you.