Lifequake

the pool kind of thing. So and we took my mom I first of all families of five, Oh my gosh, how or five or more? Because to basically have five people in a room at any resort I was looking at was it would make it go up to like thousands of dollars a night. It was insane. So the Fairmont had it where like they had a like I could do two queen beds in the bedroom and then the living room had to pull out couch. You could get like a cot or something too, or like a

rollaway bed. But I was like, that'll do. It was still crazy expensive because it's Hawaii and you're on the beach, so I get it. But I would definitely recommend the Fairmont. It's like in Wileya. It's there's this cool path that goes and you walk you past like the Four Seasons where they filmed the White Lotus the Grand Wileya, which

Jake thought looked like the really cool one. Again, would have chosen that, but I'm not spending three or four thousand dollars a night for a hotel, don't love my family that much, and also would not be able to afford to pay my mortgage or anything ever. Again, moving forward.

claimed was comfortable. She didn't complain, but I didn't know how else to do it because we basically had Dylan and Olive in one bed and we were in another one, and I didn't really want to sleep with my mom. Yeah, and also all it was weird because like normally, if we had a different bed situation, Dylan would probably sleep on that, yeah, because he'd want his privacy anyway, That's just how it worked out. We did the road road

to Hanna greatly recommend. We did the sunrise at Haleakala National Park was my favorite part of the trip and it was just lovely. We ended up we didn't have a planned We went to the Eao Valley because we were like, we can't sit around anymore, We're not beach people recommend that for sure, beautiful, But I put together a road to hannas like thing we did on my sub stack. I think it's called like Foullin Fines newsletter or something on substack. But I'm going to put one

together of the overall trip. I just haven't you know what sucks about the iHeart website. We used to be told to put together blogs constantly, yep. And I have so many great trip blogs and they removed all the photos. Yep.

excuse me. We did get an email that I wanted to dive into, and it says, hey wanted to voice another thank you for being so open about some very taboo topics. In the last few episodes. We've heard about poopin in the pants from you and a brave listener, who wrote in about her own experience with tummy troubles that affect her everyday life and the ability to do activities that are easily taken for granted by those who are hashtag blessed enough to have as strong and healthy

nether regions. I recently started physical therapy for my pelvic floor because over the past five years, I've had a handful of times where I peed my pants out of nowhere. Turns out, having a baby and later entering perimenopause will perimenopause all while or living in a culture that is terribly lacking when it comes to woman's health can yield

some very embarrassing results. I now understand that I not only still have a very weak pelvic floor after pushing for four hours to give birth to my now thirteen year old son, but I've developed both an overactive bladder and stress incontinence, which is the thing where pressure makes you pee, So trampolines are out of the question. Hell, sometimes it feels like a brisk walk is out of

the question. I definitely understand the fear of losing control while doing literally any activity, and it stresses me out every damn day. All to say, bodies are so complex and life is so unpredictable, and it's embarrassing and scary. We are not alone, and I don't want to be all toxic positivity, but I do think that practicing gratitude is important when it's so easy to just focus on negative stuff. So please share something about your bodies that

you love. It could be form or function. For me, I have a beautiful clavicle, just great shoulder bones. I also have amazing eyebrows that are the perfect thickness and placement, no plucking or waxing needed. How about you, I love for your emails so much. Yeah, that's so fun. That is fun, Jenny ladies.

Things are just looser down there, so I don't love it, but I'm trying to focus on the positive. So physically, those are some of my favorite things about myself.

he loved it. It is a healthy chocolate and it's so good and like crushes those cravings because let's be honest, who doesn't want like a little late night snacky tree.

you made a big announcement. So I'm gonna let you take it and share what you feel comfortable sharing and talking about.

think you speak. That was so shocking though, because that's like the last thing ever I thought you would text me, probably for sure.

week is something different. The first week was like, oh my god, I don't have this person to talk to and I miss this person being in my life every day, and then like the second week was like morning the future I thought I was going to have, and then the third week was like thinking of all the memories.

she's going to give unbiased advice to an extent. So it's been very helpful because I think that certain people just don't give the greatest advice. So those aren't the people that I really always want to talk to, but they might be very close, like close relationship to me. Yeah, but it's hard because I don't want to hear what they have to say about things, you know, And Falon's just really been there for me. I mean, she dropped off like a basket one day of just goodies and

stuff and it was very sweet. But yeah, it's just been a very life changing event, just because I mean, if you're listening right now, there's a good chance you listened to the episode he was on just a couple of months ago. And I'm kind of shocked that now this is where I'm at, But it is life, and you know, I am just like taking it day by day. And yeah, I mean I think one of the hardest

things you go through it and break up. It's obviously mourning this past morning, this future you thought you were gonna have. But going from having this person in your life every single day to them now being a complete stranger, it's such a hard thing to describe if you've never

experienced it. I've had friends who have been in relationships where you know, they were barely hanging out with their partner and then it just made sense that they things ended, And I would just say our relationship was a little bit different. I mean, we talked every single day, we sent each other bunny memes all the time, like all

of that stuff. So it's very hard to have that and that consistent person to not having them at all, and then also just knowing nothing that's going on in their life when he's I've been in my life for over five years and not even just that, I mean we dated previously too, So yeah, that's what's been going on for the last like month. I pretty much have cried to fall in every single day before we recorded the podcast for the past month.

I would recognize anywhere. And I felt that's exactly kind of what you just described with Andrew, because as your friend, I I mean, I really like I loved you and Andrew to get I like that you were very well matched with like your interests and the things that made you laugh and like activities, and you know, I think a lot of people will ask like invasive questions because they're curious. And I don't think that makes you a bad person because you just want to know what happened.

I mean, obviously I've gone through public breakups and people want to know. People make up things, and I think one thing we want to relay on this podcast is like, we don't hate Andrew. We don't want anyone to like go after Andrew kind of thing.

and that didn't make me feel better in the moment. You've talked about how you guys dated before and you broke up and then you know, years went by and then you guys got back together and you guys have been together for like five is years now. Yeah, do you I mean, I saw you. It's funny, funny enough. I feel like you and I kind of reconnected, like the first time you guys broke up because Jenny was an intern on the morning show and then as interns do, they leave the internship and they go on to do

other things. And then Jenny had reached out to have coffee with me, and I remember the first thing I noticed about you was you were very thin, yep, and I was like, probably inappropriate. I think I was like, are you okay? And you were like yeah, you really brushed over it because I did not know you and Andrew together at all. You were just like, I'm going through a breakup or whatever, but you wanted to get back into radio, and that was the point of the coffee.

So you know, year go by, i'd heard very loosely about Andrew and then you know, you guys got back together. So I know, I only know this version of your relationship. And I will say, being a friend of someone who's going through something like this is your complimentary to me, which is crazy. I think, like it's like what else, what else would I do? I was a friend off, not just like be there for you. The number of times Jenny. Jenny has watched me cry over stupid shit endlessly.

She's seen me cry, so of course I would return that to you always and forever. What I've said to Jenny is, I feel like it's not that the heartbreak is any less, but it shows like just you grow and you learn things, and I feel like how you've handled is in a very graceful way while still feeling your feelings. And also you've been you've been really trying to like not cover them up or ignore them or you I do identify them, look at kind of science

into things you've spoke into a therapist. I think you're handling things in a very healthy, as healthy as you can way, which is all you can really do for yourself as you're like healing and trying to figure out this new life.

and whatever. But it's just interesting because it's like, when you're tied to someone, you get these dopamine releases when you see them, so suddenly you don't. You go from seeing them every single day and talking to them every day to not seeing them at all, and your brain is just like, what the fuck is happening right now, Like it is not used to that, And so getting out of a breakup is hard on so many different matters, but it also scientifically, biologically it messes with you, it

really does. It affects your dopamine release, it does all of these things. So you know, like if I'm having a really down day, I'm like, okay, Like my body is getting used to being alone again, literally, like my brain is trying to understand that. So you know, I've done like some research and I've tried to listen to some podcasts, but like, I don't really feel like podcasts have done a whole lot for me.

hard to eat, like I have that sadness. So I haven't been working out working out, but I have been getting out and walking in a lot, and I think that that has been so helpful for me because being outside it really really changes my mental state. So I think that that's been good. I have been focusing on just to do lists that have piled up over the years, and I mean, I've had a lot of realizations in the last month too, of how I was living my

life prior to being single again. I was living a life of work, come home, hang out, take an app hang out with Andrew, do maybe something at in the evening, not much of anything, maybe watch a TV show and go to bed. And I know that like that is not who I am deep down, Like I'm a social person. I'm an active person, and I feel like I just became so routine and boring with my days, and now I'm like diving into these things that I've been wanting to do, Like I'm working on house projects and stuff.

So i feel like I'm trying to channel energy into things that I've been wanting to do, and I'm kind of, i don't know, like trying to get rid of this person who became so routine and honestly relied too much on Andrew's presence to make me happy, I think, And not that that's bad, because that's what you expect with a partner. You expect them to provide you happiness. That's why you're in a relationship. It gives you happiness. Okay, But I do realize that, like I really wasn't doing

a whole lot for me. And also I'm only thinking probably in the last handful of months, when it's been winter and it's Minnesota, so I feel like it's kind of probably not the best comparison right now, not at all. Yeah, in the summer, it's like I was out playing pick a ball all the time, you know. So Anyways, there's just some realizations that I've had, and I do think

that I am handling this in a healthier way. It still hurts, really fucking pad and I hate it, but I do want to read something I've found because I thought, if anyone else is going through a hard time right now, whether it's heartbreak or something at your job or you know, you just got laid off or something, I just like saw this on Instagram and I thought it was very interesting.

It says, today I learned about a term called a life quake, a significant and unexpected shift in the trajectory of your life that initially feels devastating but has the beneficial outcome of catalyzing personal growth and transformation and rebirth. And I just thought that was interesting because I think some of the biggest changes in my life have come from really hard times that have happened in my life, and a lot of those times I would never want

to relive. However, I know I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not gone through those things, right So I am trying to see, you know, the bright side of feeling this heartbreak and being sad, knowing that like this isn't forever, but the one thing that I'll say that every fucking podcast says, every every like therapist on Instagram says, is like you just have to feel it. You just have to go through it, and you have to feel it, okay, But like I don't

want to feel it yep? And how long do I have to feel it?

But that's just like so open ended and frustrating to hear.

this for an extended amount of time. I feel like one thing you've shared with me that I think a lot of people will relate to is one thing that I know you you've said is especially hard in the mix of everything, just like losing your person obviously, is feeling like your friends are at a different life stage. And I feel like I'll let you speak on that a little bit if you want to, because I do feel like that's very relatable.

the next year. And so now it's like I told Faala's like, I feel like I'm like a burden, and I know that nobody thinks that, but that's how I feel now when I reach out to friends who it's like they've got a full ass life that they're living and now I need some support. And once again, nobody's made me feel that way. But it's like I see that, and then you know, I did see probably a marriage in my future, and the kids thing was still up

in the air. But now I am struggling with all of that, feeling like it was taken away and being unsure if I'm going to have that now. And I know I'm still very young, so I'm not ruling anything out, but it is just very different to be at this age and like wonder, like I don't want to go out to bars. That didn't work very well for me in my twenties anyways, meeting people at bars like it

never really ended well most of the time anyways. But it's like how how do I stay busy and how do I stay social and not just like sit at home, which was fine when I was in a relationship because I had someone there, but now it's like I can only be alone for so many hours yea, and not ghostir crazy and be like what am I doing? So it's just a different phase of life than when I've previously been in when I was single last So it also feels very different in that way too.

still they just have a marriage certificate. It's like the only difference of before other than they do have a partner. But with the kids thing, I can tell you. For me, I didn't want to just like be the mom and

start only having mom friends. It made me feel like I was like losing out on a part of my life that I liked, like hanging out with you and Tina and stuff who didn't have kids, Like I didn't want to become like and this is not a knock on dance moms, Like I didn't want to just become another dance mom and that click, I was like, I still want to have my like other people that have

different lives. So I feel like as long as like your friends with kids have good partners, they should be able to watch the kids so that your friends can still hang out with you because they would probably thrive on that as well. All that's to say it doesn't change things. They can't fill every minute of every day. I get that, but I would say I don't think any person's like this is a burden. Yeah, honestly their life if it's like mine, I have fun, but I

also do live like a boring ish life. It is great to like still like have things on the calendar with my friends and stuff. It took me a minute, you know. It took me a minute with like having a new kid and different things to figure out the balance. But I mean, I can't change a feeling you have within you, obviously, but I can confirm not a burden. And I constantly am calling or texting Jenny to say that, like,

you know, you can call and text me. You don't have to be in your bedroom and like be afraid you're a burden to me because you're not. Yeah, honestly, my daughter yells at me all the time, and it would be lovely to be able to go in the bedroom and have a conversation with you instead of being

yelled at sometimes. So it's the it's a lot of things, and I know that you said, like a lot of people since talking about in the Morning Show have reached out and given you, like they've been very kind in messages and stuff.

And yet you know you see me posting videos and pictures of all this fun shit, and like the reality is I was like sitting in the band crying. So like check on your people.

be bringing. And that sucks because I'm trying. Don't get me wrong, I try really hard, but you can't always fake it.

But Jenny can't cry now that she's made talk about it, she can't cry on the radio every day for the next month while she's going through stuff. She has to address the topic, cry in that moment, and then she's got to move on even in that same day and laugh and entertain people. And I have obviously gone through some difficult things and had to do it, and it is brutal, especially because for usually months or maybe a year leading up to that moment things are crumbling behind

the scenes, you're having to maintain a happy outlook. Then you, unlike any other job in the world, you have to make a public announcement yep, hey, my fucking relationship's over, and then you get to have people's makeup stories or or even if they're being nice. It's like, I don't want to have to talk about and comment on my work. It's so crazy. But in our job, we talk about

our relationship all the time. So if Jenny just stopped talking about Andrew forever, she would just get endless messages like what happened Andrew until she addressed.

I don't know, I think people read between the lines. I mean, there's plenty of people I follow on like social media or whatever where I'm like, I feel like they probably broke up.