ATM with Colt

You asked and you shall receive it. It is that I'm Still Fun podcast with Fallon and Jenny, and we invited Colt to join us this week. Everybody Hello, someone asked, well, we had our partners on and people were like, oh, you should have like your co workers on. So a lot of people specifically asked for you, Am.

I the first co worker has like bonds current coworker?

Yes, okay, we had. We did like a series of where are they Now? So we had Steve O join us and Tina join us That's Fun, which were Honestly, I think our two most listened to episodes we had with those two because people are just curious what happened. They wanted to know if they were dead or alive, things like that. Yeah, but Colt, people.

Is Tina not dead? I thought she was dead? Loki, he's alive. He was alive.

She's lokey alive. Yeah. Okay, So maybe people don't know anything about you, Colt. Why don't you start off by a yeah, that's your story, a little bit of your life story, but don't take forever.

That's what I'm saying. Just like, what is the summary? Chat? GPT it right?

Yeah, where were you born.

Okay. I was born in Michigan to a loving family. I have a lot of sisters, a lot of brothers. What am I doing? Guys? Why are you doing this to me? You know, I don't like talking about it.

You don't know how to talk tell your life story.

I really don't like talking about you know. This is when you ask him he can. In my opinion, cult is one of the best storytellers I've ever heard, but it has to be on his terms. The other day I asked him, what's your airport routine? I almost jumped out of the window because I was like, oh my god, I don't need to hear Like, all I wanted to know is how early you arrived here? He's like, so then I go to back. I'm like, no one gives a shit. Just how early do you get to the

Okay, but you make it, you make it sound so, you make it sound so low stressed though, because for me. You wake up in the morning, you chill have kids. I have kids. You can use your.

Kids for everything.

You're just giving out on, like the most annoying things you got to pack up. Dude, hauling a car seat through the airport, I'd rather kill myself.

Well, to be fair, I never haul the car seat Jake does. But I bought like one of those cheap on Amazon huge covers that you need to do backpackage. We check the car seat, we gate check.

On her too them. I look like a camel. I have like both of them strapped in my back, like eighty pounds and a kid on my shoulders. It's crazy. It's a lot.

But the point is he if you do ask him to tell anything about himself, it seemingly is impossible. Like this, someone a little bit about their upbringing should be in theory, the easiest answer one gives.

Okay, no, my house was really chaotic. Okay, here's what happened.

Really, he's a little bit of a traumatic childhood.

That's why my dad and my mom bought a house, right. Okay, Now, a couple of years prior, well, my mom was giving birth to my little brother and sister. We are twins.

Yeah.

Reverse, So I don't know. It starts out there and then yeah, dude, and then I'm just here. So what's up, guys? How could we think?

But how'd you get into radio?

I don't know. I wanted to skip school and there was like an internship class and they were like, dude, yeah, you can only go You can leave school at twelve if you have an internship. And I was like, that's solid, but I need an internship. So I just started doing like a night show with my uncle in Traverse City, Michigan in and then from there I just kind of spiral. Let's started doing like weekends and then like a night

Is that you? Handsome and good looking? Same thing? But he describes it as handsomely.

Good looking and looking.

Yes, yeah, that's all I was looking for. I was looking for talent. I was looking for anyone to contribute, just an attractive partner. It's a lot.

So you got to like stare at people all day. Yeah, you know, right, like you look at day of Mount Bailey.

He had, so the most stable authority figure in his life was his uncle, who did radio and up in your uncle still isn't like in traditional radio, right.

No, he does a podcast now.

Yeah, but that's a fair statement, right, He's kind of was the most stable figure.

Yeah, he was. Well, he was the one where it was like, oh wait, you don't wait, you don't have to hit your wife. Okay, that's interesting. Oh you can actually hang out with your kids. Oh okay, that makes sense. Yeah yeah. It was like the only like positive what do you call it? Like role model?

I guess yeah, wow, Okay, Yeah. I would like to dive deeper, but I don't know if we want to get that deep about it.

If you want the depth you can go. Cult was on a heartbroke Yeah, I say episode where he kind of gets into his childhood.

Yeah, I don't know that we were going to get into that part.

Here, probably not talk about it. Yeah.

I always hear I hear, Okay, this is what I hear about you too. And I only know this from the stay Fair because when we were at the stay Fair, people would come up to us NonStop to be like, do I love your podcast with Jenny, And then it would be people from like all the way and Georgia. Someone came out there like, dude, I've never lived here, but I found your podcast, had to come meet you

Things we do we do and much of a filter we do not and I but I did talk about on our podcast how Cult hates talking about sexual things.

Yeah.

So he he's like the forty year old virgin where he tried he recently because we said that it bothered him, so he tried leaning into sexual talk, but he sounds like Steve Corral when he does, so he just started incorporating butt chugging and everything, which and then he started calling it BC and I'm like, we call BC birth control. I am not associate PC with butt chugging.

You got BC's BPS.

He was.

And then the other thing you have is ATM asked him out. That's the one that.

Always confuses me. He'll drop ATM and I'm and I always think of like where you get money, and he's like, no, asked him out or at the moment, yeah.

It completely different.

So so this is what I'm dealing with. And he was so surprised the number of people. I don't know where it came from. Someone called into our show the other day and they're like, I gotta be honest. My husband and I I've had to try to convince my husband you're not gay, and I'm like, no, he's married to a woman and has children, which doesn't actually mean you're straight by the way as we know. But then then I'm forre, like, oh my god, me and my

Because I'm comfy and I'm a I have eight sisters, so like I and my brother is basically a woman, so it's like I there was no, what is that happening?

Like, my brother is basically a woman? What does that mean?

Well, he's just you know, it's cannon, he's I don't know, it's hard to explain, like it's he's he's just like a woman. I guess, like, what do you mean?

Are you going to say something to you on a woman's podcast? You got something stereotypical? Okay?

Does he cry a lot.

Hearing? Oh my god, he does? And he uh no, just like kind of how he lives his life. So in my I didn't hang out with my dad a lot, so there was no I'm comfortable talking about like a period, like, uh, I know about it that.

It's twenty twenty five. I hope you fucking are.

I have two daughters.

A lot of people are like weird about it, or a lot of guys like, dude, check out that girl's ass. But it's like, dude, I have like tensis. So it's like I don't. I didn't grow up like oh yeah, look at that, Look at that bad.

I can tell you.

I have to sidetrack one quick thing to fallon and you can partake if you want. Since you clearly were around a lot of women today, I read something on the show, and it's the thing that things that women only say to women, and one of them was, I just gave birth to a jellyfish. Do you understand what that means? Period terms?

Yeah? Okay, okay, yes, And I've never used that.

No, I have never used it either. But it was a red of thread. So it's like all these things. And I thought that was the funniest thing because I've never ever put you in two together, and now I feel like I might start saying that one.

Yeah, why not drop it on occasion?

Anyways, that's period talk.

Yeah. No, you don't get a jellyfish when you pull out the tampon.

No, no, yeah, what is the jellyfish? Well, you get clumps of blood that come out basic and it literally is like almost the form.

Of a jellyfish. I thought it was like the tampon and that was the head of the jellyfish, and then like the little string was like, but you know.

That the tampon doesn't really the tampon doesn't really have a head. You understand that, it's not like a penis where it's kind of thick at the top.

It's just one like.

One solid thing.

But you know what I'm saying, like the base, I just want to make sure you didn't think that we were like inserting penis looking in tampons in our vagina. We get so horny.

Yeah, it's actually probably a market for that, if you were to invent something.

Colt. He's always looking for his get rich quicks. Yeah, so maybe this is it.

Somewhere else can't come for me.

Oh guy, did you come up with these dick shaped I know what women like? God, Colt, we do have some questions for you that people submitted, and then I threw in a couple of randoms. Uh, one from a Jennifer j came in, I think, saying, what is it like having such a flawless wife?

Yeah, good question, She's flawless.

I usually get wait, that's your a lot. And then I had to explain myself, which isn't like a good feeling because it's like not a They're like I don't understand, and I'm like, yeah, I don't get either, but like yes, my mother like but how and I'm like I have to go into depth, so I don't know. It's it's a lot, dude. It's sad like she outshines me in every way, and it's just something I gotta get over.

Well, Amanda asked, how did you pull your wife? You got her when she was young and didn't know any better, right, Yeah.

Tricked her, manipulation, a lot of false promises.

Who was into who more? Because you guys met in high school.

Yeah, she friends on me. So we didn't date in high school, but we sat right next to each other. And then she was dating this guy named Tommy, and Tommy was a big douchebag. And I would always go on Jen's wall on Facebook. All I'd be like, dude's up, girl, love you and it's time. I'd be like, I'm gonna beat your ass. My, gosh, bet dude, let's go, because the most the best thing you can do when someone's mad at you is just agree with them, like, due,

Are you guys at this point.

Eighteen o eight, maybe like late seventeen, I don't know. We were still in high school. And then I went to bed and I woke up at three am to police calling me and they were like, dude, did you vandalize this guy's car? And I was like no, and they're like, we're just trying to like figure out a story because like he's saying that you owe him money because like you scratched like his paint. It was a whole thing. Anyways, I'm a ride or died down for anything.

I thought you went into his music and then you worked for radio. Yeah, and she was like, oh, I could have this for the rest.

Of my life. I can meet d lists and sealst celebrities. Awesome.

Yeah, how long have you guys been together now?

I think this is year thirty, No, twelve, let's be twelve years and how.

Long I'm married?

Seven?

Okay, wow, I can't remember. Were you still here when you guys got married?

Yeah, it was like right when I got here, and then I got married a couple months after.

Okay, that's right.

They were super young. I remember I was like, oh my god, that is very young to get married.

I think I was like twenty four.

But yeah, it's worked out, so that's great. Congratulations kids later.

Yeah, dude, it's crazy.

They had their oldest daughter, Remy, like exactly what was it a month or two after pretty much alive.

Yeah, and then we were like, dude, we're in the baby stage. It's COVID. Everybody's locked down, so let's just we know we want another one, so let's just like knock it out. So that Yeah, so they're only like a year and a half apart, and now they're basically eighteen years old.

So well, this text, this question came in from Jamie, what do you love about being a girl? Dad?

If I was sill, I don't know because I can't really like compare it. So I've never had a son either, so, like I don't know the difference or if there is even a difference.

He says, there's a massive difference.

Oh is there? He says that, Yeah, Yeah, I don't know. I just like how silly and outgoing they are and how they're down to kind of just like do anything.

Create advice.

Yeah, but I don't know, so I can't really answer that, I guess because I don't know the difference. But it's cool.

How is the house hunting going, dude?

Lame?

You live in rent in Saint Louis Park right now.

Yeah, I'm in Saint Louis Park, which is not I like the proximity and everything, but dude, it's just crazy that you got to spend like half a million dollars is to have a house that still needs work, Like, it's just insane. How does that even make sense? And then the interest rate is just also crazy. I feel like we all need to stand up and we gotta we gotta do something about these banks. Dude. There's got to be something where it's like, okay, you can't have

He thinks every president or every person should get one chill daddy chill but chill.

I like that.

Yeah, it's crazy, dude, It's insane, especially when you're looking like Minnetonka and then it's like okay, yeah, this this five hundred thousand dollar house must be nice garbage trash. What I'm gonna spend that? Yeah, so not good to summarize, not.

Good this summer something's exhausting period. But now yeah, with the interest rates, I can imagine it's like, well fuck me. Yeah, and you and he's been like saying, you know, there's such a dramatic difference. Is that Are you talking about the four to five hundred range.

Yeah, if you go from like four to fifty to five fifty, it's like night and day with what you can get, which also is confusing to me.

All right, let's dive into a fun question. This is from Amanda. What is your death row? Meal? App main, dessert and drink?

Damn daddy? Okay wait app meal, drink? Okay, drink. It's gonna be controversial.

I know what you're gonna say because a.

Lot of people will hit me. What would assume diet coke?

No, he's moving, by the way, He's not as in a diet coke anymore.

What do you mean that was like, your guys are.

Cool, I'll do a diet coke.

He will do it. Funny with my phrasing there, but he's got a new one that he's BRILLIANTO.

I'll go at, I'm gonna die coke any day. But I feel like.

I cannot believe this is what you sit through every day, every day.

A diet mountain dew.

For you you.

Love, Okay, listen, I would have given you. I would have let you have mountain dew, but diet is so disgusting.

He's watching his figure always gen you should please he has. He guzzles down his flaming Cheetos with his diet mountains.

Oh so una, the okay, so the app Oh damn dude. There's something about just like chips and queso right where you.

Just chips and Caeso is like the fastest way for me to just blow my ass out. I mean there are if I put something on my list, your list of what Yeah, Jenny has a list of what kills your stomach, no colt, your hair has gotten crazier thout the has. But there's something about if I eat like it has to be at a restaurant. I don't eat like at home. Chips and queso. So I'm basing this solely on they bring the little shareable hot cast iron thing of caeso. I am on the toilet very quickly.

Yes, that's a good way to watch your way too, because you just you just it all exits quickly.

Well I don't know if that's exactly how it works for.

Me, So dude, I don't know. I want to say a pizza, but then at the same time, I also want to say.

Like whattizer chips and caeso ish.

Chips and caeso. So you got the diamond du chips and queso. And then if you could just get like a mm just like the perfect cut a steak, but trash it up a little bit. Put on two pieces of white bread is becoming a yeah, it's obvious on a paper play. And then you have to sprinkle on some like cheddar cheddar cheese.

I guess okay, don't you feel like so many options in the world and that's what you went with.

No one asked for your side. They asked for a dessert bout. And this is another thing that triggers me. We we go, we've had like, what's the best fry contact and he chooses sweet potato fry, and it infuriates me. It's not that they're not good, but to say sweet potato fries. I'm sorry, and people agree with him are better than regular fries?

Is okay?

I do too?

Oh god, do.

You know what? Then you coot too? You can just at m potato.

Will I would sweet potato, not that think about it? You dessert, doude dessert? Okay, hold up, wait a minute, like me. There's so many things. Okay, I think a cookie, brownie okay, like cookie, like just a chocolate chip cookie.

They have that ag little chocolate sauce and stuff. Yeah, maybe a little sprinkle of powdered sugar.

Oh baby, you know.

Before you walked in her cold found did throw you under the bus about something? Since we're talking about food and so I would like to know, you know, what do you eat in your household? And does it change when you're not in your house?

Yeah? For sure. I in my household, my my wife is no no dies, barely any red meat. Actually, she doesn't cook any red meat. There's like no red meat. I'm not allowed to have turkey or like lunch meat of anything. No nitrates, super clean.

Tell her what what you came home to for dinner the other night? And you in the argument you got into.

Oh yeah, there's two things that happened one Jen said we're gonna have a pizza night. I was like, sick, awesome. Cool. So I get home, I'm like, where's the pizza. She's like, it's I open up like the plate with the tinfoil. I'm like, okay, whatever, open it up. It's egg plant with cheese on it. She made an egg plant pizza. Okay, okay, didn't.

Eat and then you didn't eat it.

I'd rather just stop. And then the other day okay, so we were having chicken pasto sandwiches. We're like, a what do they called, like a briosh bun? Is that what it's called. Yeah, so we do like pasta obviously chicken tomato, and then a slice of mozzarella cheese. So I get home and I see all the all the stuff except the chicken, and I'm like, so, where's the chicken. She was like, oh, yeah, I figured we would just make this one vegan. And I was like, that's the whole point of a chicken.

Well, you can't have the cheese. Well, she was like, in brioce, I'm pretty sure it is a heavily egg Is that like again, vegan? I don't know.

She was like, so she was like. I was like, isn't like that the healthiest thing? And she's like, now you have the cheese and I'm like, that doesn't that's not I feel like you took away the best, the most nutrients, dance thing, the protein. But whatever, I like it.

So what happens when you're not at home?

I don't think there's been one week where the flame not Cheetos have remain in stock and the vending machine here at work. And actually I was like, all right, I had to come back into work and she was like, you know, I have your location on right. I'm like sitting in the car and I'm like, oh no. She's like, so what do you do? And I was like cheating on you? And she's like, no, you're not. Why are you at McDonald's.

Oh my god, She's like.

You already dinner? Why are you there?

Relax? I'm sorry the egg plan didn't film me up.

No.

So yeah, it's it's very It's keeping me balanced though, because I feel like I am unhealthy as it is. So if I were to just eat how I eat out, like in my house, yeah, it'd be this want to be a podcast or I'd be on my six hundred pound Life for Sure, so.

Which is one of his top three favorite reality shows.

Never watched it.

It's pretty crazy, yeah, Colt. This came from Jamie. Do you want your own radio show someday?

Oh yeah, dude, get me off Found show.

Well, no that's not it's not a bad thing. I don't think like I wouldn't take offence to f one day you were like, yeah, I want my own show.

I mean I've had well I want to like consider what I used to do, like a show show because there's like not a lot of talking. But no, I think it would be really I told Fallen. If Fallen leaves, then I would just I think I would just quit radio. I'll just find something else.

No pressure, just be the end of his career.

Because well, it want to be like fun. I feel like the chemistry want to be there. I feel like I would just be like doing Found's really good at like yes and ing and stuff, and I would just be like telling a story and then they want to get it and then be like dude, but Fallon was here to like pick up the slack or whatever, so like that show just sucks. I don't know, I don't it wouldn't be fun at all. It would just be boring.

For sure, we do have very different retirement ages though, so that is troublesome.

Yeah. Yeah, and she's got to what she's got to pay me out of pocket when she retires.

Never been part of the deal.

Like, what do they call it? A pension playing type of thing for you?

It's ridiculous.

I did have a question that's kind of a long same lines as that one that I could ask that someone sent me. So it said, are you still hoping for a morning show as the ultimate career goal?

That'd be really cool? Hour wise? How many kind of sucks getting out at six, like especially when my kids get older. Yeah, I feel like you, it's like weird, like it it doesn't seem like five to six interferes with so much. It does, but it does. There's like how much happening there?

Oh, I I mean I believe it. I used to work the like nine to five life and going through rush hour traffic all of that stuff. I absolutely hated those hours.

That's why I kind of like nights a little bit too, because you had all day and I didn't really care about like going out, so I wasn't I didn't have like foma really, but it was nice. I had like all day to do everything up until like three. But now it just feels like I don't have time to do anything. Yeah, like eve even just like mowing the grass. It's like, oh God, I gotta do that. I keep forgetting, but there's like no time.

Here are just some random ones. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Probably a pervert?

Oh yeah, I'd be stocking now if I could be in a bit. You know what I really enjoy pocket watching? I like what pocket watching like figuring out how much money people have. So I think I would really just like stand behind like somebody at a desk who has like all these uh like bank statements or something. I would just like check out everybody, everybody I know. I would see all. I would go into Rich's office. I would open up his email and be like, okay, Dave Ryan Contract, let's see all right.

He tries to guess my stuff all the time. He's like, I know you have to be between this and this, and I'm like what is rotten?

Like, he's so much thinking about like money and like how much people have. So I think I would definitely use that to my advantage if I was invisible, just see like what's out there.

Yeah, but then that makes you so depressed though, how little you have compared to some of these people.

Oh no, my life does suck validated.

Yeah, do you wipe standing up or sitting down? Jenny and I we are different in this way. I sit, Jenny stands.

I'm surprised you remember that.

I don't know why I can't remember important things in my life, but I can remember these things about Nanny. It's disturbing, so weird.

I feel you got to start out Nothing can me simple with me. You gotta start out sitting and then you finish standing. That's how I feel. Really, there's something about being able to get it better while standing.

That's what I'm saying. That's why I stand. And also I have a large ass, like I can't just be like you do just a little bit, Okay, it's kind of big. So I feel like it's impossible if I were to be sitting to ever do what I need to do.

Yeah there, Yeah, some part of me things like people started this thing like way back way back in the day just as like a joke, and it's like now people are still sitting or something. Does that make sense?

What do mean?

I don't know. Just like the things that we do every single day. I feel like maybe it was set up in a way, like just some idiot came up with it and then now it's like we just have run with it forever.

Yeah, so why change it?

Yeah?

But I also wipe through my legs, but I don't. Everyone freaks out about that, but I don't go. My arm does not reach around, so people freak out like women are supposed to wipe like blah blah bah, And I'm like, I don't. I have a system. I'm not putting things into my vagime. Don't worry, I have a system.

Yeah, I would have to see you a video next time and yeah yeah yeah, no, sit then stand and then do go about your day.

Also, you have to have wet wipes. I feel like, and I know, I bide if I can. I've never used a bidet.

Oh my gosh, you haven't got him on the bidet train yet.

He won't get a car and he won't get a new cell phone. I don't think that there's anyway I could introduce bidet technology into his life. So like, those are actually like cheap, So maybe you could invest in a twenty dollars a day.

Yeah, I feel my kids would be.

Going to say, your kids which to stir it on spread everywhere.

I don't even know how it works. How do you know it's going to hit the right spot? Though?

Well, you got to adjust because it's always a little far back from me, so I have to kind of like angle. Yeah it could.

And wait, is it toilet water? Is it like filtered water.

It's connected to your like water line, so it's bringing in the same water that would go to your toilet, but it's not pulling it from your toilet.

Yeah, it's pulling the water that you just sho it's spreading your back with your ship water.

Yes, question, Oh god, the.

Back it's like connected to that but no.

Yeah, it goes through like a water hose.

Yeah, dude. Oh so you're telling me that people have like purified bidet water.

Then I don't purified. I don't have a reverse osmosis system in my house.

So dude, that'd be great. I wonder what that feels like hitten you versus like the hard water with a bunch of minerals and stuff. I like it a little more.

That's about our time, unless you have another question, Jenny, you have a question for us?

How have you managed to remain like so relevant in the market and in your industries?

And this is okay, so what are we getting to?

No, I'm serious, Like you guys have a giant following every.

Time you fall into this, Jenny, I'm.

Just being genuine. Everybody here, Why are you looking at me?

This is what I'll catch it when big bosses come into town. This is how Cole. I think he like does this tactic to like stay in a career and job. So he does these quote unquote questions that are like built in compliments, and I don't think he cares about the answer, but it makes you feel good right to like kind of get like half a compliment and talk about yourself. He has mastered this. I'll seem talk to Boston like, what's like the best advice you've ever gotten

I'm like, oh, like so many personalities in a great way that like still upholds like the values of your station.

You are such a suck up.

Yeah, teachers the king of it, but.

Hey, whatever you gotta do to like stand out to kind of upper management. That's like another round of layoffs. Let's keep that one.

He asked me your question is nobody has the same answer, which leads me to believe nobody really knows what they're doing.

It's just all like, what what do you think everyone does in their career? Nobody knows what they're doing.

Now we're just swinging it all the time. There's one guy, dude, the best TikTok ever. He uh, he has had a job for three months, right, and it's work from home. Nobody sees each other in the office because they're all work from home. So he'll get an email from his boss and then he's not supposed to do this, but he'll delegate it to another cowork and be like, hey, so and so boss wants this from you by the

Oh. I feel like I have seen that where people have like multiple jobs and they work from home and they're like whatever, wild And I'm like, how do I get one of those?

Yeah?

No kidding real, because if you don't care about it, you can just have it in the background. It's like, all right, well if I get fired in three months, then I've made a buttload of months or whatever. Yeah, I do that right now.

See, it's always a get rich quick idea. Thank you Cal for joining.

Thanks call Thanks