All right, here we go. I'm still fun with Fallon and Jenny. I got this email on October eleventh, okay, and I haven't responded to her because she said that there was no need to read it on the podcast. But I thought it was so nice, and I'm like, oh, I need to like respond to her. So I won't say your name just in case you want to stay anonymous, but it says I wanted to let
you know how much I appreciate you and Jenny for doing your podcast. I feel like I have no fun in my life right now, so this lifts me. I miss you too being together on the morning show, so this is a great substitute, and I definitely miss you on the morning show. So I listened to your and Zach's podcast, So thanks for doing that too. Thanks for listening to that. I appreciate it. So she listens to all the podcasts. That sounds like you're kind of my virtual bff right now.
Haha. I'm going through a lot of changes with younger kids, and after years of contemplating divorce, I'm moving forward with it with little support. So having consistency with positive things in my life like your podcast helps so much. I'm sure sometimes it's a burden to do it, but I just want to let you know it's appreciated. Also on your podcast this week, you
asked for suggestions on a couple of things with Olive. I'm still trying to figure out parenting and juggling the guilt of not spending enough time with my kids. Here are some suggestions, though, so if you missed it, I kind of last week was talking about how I feel like Jake and I don't have any time to talk as adults to each other anymore because Olive's up. She feels like she's left out, so she'll be like, excuse me, I have something to say. Excuse me, you know, kind of interrupt.
She said, I have a son with autism. And when you were talking about all of interrupting yours in Jake's conversation, I thought of some suggestions that we implemented a while back, and it took a while for it to kick in, but it was helpful. We explained, this is mommy daddy time for fifteen minutes, so go play X y Z and then it's family
time. And when she feels the need to interrupt your conversation, tell her to put a hand on yours and you put a hand on top of hers to understand that she needs your attention and you know that she needs your attention, but she needs to wait a minute. Having that physical grasp helps her realize you're aware she needs you you, but she uh needs to wait a
minut I would role play it and see if you have any luck. Also, in dealing with mom guilt, having little gestures between me and my kids is one thing that helps bring me back to feeling like a better mom. I do this little thing where three hand squeezes to my kids means I love you, and they do it back to me usually four hand squeezes, saying I love you too, but without saying it. On our way to school or when we're just busy or out and about, or I feel like they're
not getting the attention they need. I do that, and it's just a fun, easy way to help them know that you're thinking of them. I appreciate you being a light in my life right now. Your positivity is so contagious, and I appreciate your authenticity too when it's needed. Keep up the great work. Wish you all the best with these new adventures you're on. And try not to let the mom guilt overwhelm. You do your best each day and that will look different every day and that's okay, thank you so
much for that. I feel like there are really good tips in there. Yeah, the one with like putting the hand on the leg. Yeah, I wonder if you person who emailed in saw that on like one of those Instagram things. And here's why. Jake actually brought that up, like a week or two ago. He said, he's on mom Instagram, okay, all the like mom mom algoritha. Yes, literally, and he said he gets like tips all the time that are really helpful and implements them and that
was when he had tried. But we only did it one time. So yeah, it's kind of like training a dog. You really got to be consistent with it. But I really like those. And I'm really sorry you're going through so much right now. Divorce, even if it's amicable, is just hard splitting up, and especially we have kids involved. I'm so sorry you're going through it. I'm glad that we could be like a little bit
of consistency in your day or your week, I guess for sure. So Jenny, yeah, you said you through email got some suggestions as well. I did so last week I was talking about how I am trying not to steal foulins a little bit, but when she texts me, are you sucking or your fucking? Yeah, I was trying to come up with something that I can text her and I the best I came up with was fish. In addition, because fun likes to say two starfish is in the life.
And so I got a couple of dms from people who gave me suggestions, and I do like this one and says are you pumping or Humpin'? So I like that one a lot. And then the other one, which I feel like is in reference to the story I think probably from your Anniversary weekend where Jake was super gassy, and so it says are you acd or gassin? So that was that one. And then that person also sent me a reel of some guy who was like, I'm too old for Netflix and chill.
He's like, instead, I got canes or something like that. So we're chicken or dicking is what he came up with. And I feel like that one's a little too specific. It's funny though, but I really like pumping or humping' and acid or gassin. I like, as it would work for you too, absolutely, And speaking of I made this chili last time, why do you even bother beans? Jenny, God yourself many beans. And honestly, this story is more so about Andrew than it is about me.
I definitely woke up this morning with my tummy not I feel the greatest, And thank god Dave was in Colorado today because I had the studio and I was lucky for that because my stomach was turning. But so I texted Andrew this morning and I go, thank god Dave was gone today, Like, yeah, I could let a little too out here and there if I needed to. And there was a point where I was like, do I
need to warn Drake to not come into the studio, you know? But anyway, so I texted Andrew about that and he goes, we just installed the bidet. Finally, shout out Cookie if you're listening, because Cookie sent me this bidet. And Andrews said that he literally went and sat on the bidet this morning just because of toots he's been having, Oh my god, not to even like use it because he was like taking a shit. He just like he needed to clean the Vicinity. It was so gross, and
there's Guessie and so yeah, this chili really ruined both of us. But it was so good. It's just that beans. I don't eat beans pretty much ever. I'll never liked beans growing up, so yeah, it was I should come now, but yeah growing up. I was like, uh yeah, And I just I found a very simple recipe that I've made once or twice before that I have saved on Pinterest. And when I was getting the ingredients and saw like two full cans of beans, which totally makes sense
about what you probably get. But I'm like, man, I got to look for recipes that are either beanless or much lower. It's just too heavy on macaroni with meat. Yeah that's true, and do all the sauce and stuff, and that it would still be kind of kind of like chili. Yeah. I talked to people because I said that nobody in Minnesota. Everyone thinks it's so weird to do like peanut butter and crackers with chili. It's like not a thing. And everyone in the Indiana was like, how is
it not? And I was like, I don't know, and they're like, maybe they're the fuckd up one. Maybe they fucking don't know, but I don't think i've ever heard that either. That that is my upbringing. When you made chili, you eat crackers with peanut butter ayes kind of crackers, like saltine crackers. Okay, I mean, I guess you could pick any kind, but we were you didn't get fancy ritz crackers wherever I was growing up. But like, or if you don't have crackers, you do
like a half a peanut butter sandwich or something. But when I have brought that up since moving away from home, everyone's like, that's not a thing. And I'm like, oh, it's so embarrassing. And I honestly thought maybe it was something just my dad did. And then I was talking about it because we had chili at the party we had this weekend, and I was saying that and I was like, asked Jake, and they're like and Jake's like, it's not a thing, guys, He's like, and then
everyone turned on him and they're maybe not a thing. And Jake was like, listen, I love peanut butter. I would I would do it it is. I'm saying, it's not like something natural, and they're like, you're stupid. You know, yelling everyone's drunk and belligerent. And I was like, yeah, Jake, maybe just Minnesotans don't know what's up. And he was like, okay, maybe like calm down. But I put like a piece of corn bread in with my chili. But that's not a thing
that's doing. You can do it. But like so where I'm from, like you make actual like beans, so it's like beans and cornbread and you pour the beans over some like. But we had made corn bread, so anyway it worked. And but I was like, apparently it's not a thing anywhere else. I've always been told that, But I was so happy to know it wasn't just me and my family. It was everyone in Indiana. Apparently. That's so interesting. I don't know if I've ever heard you talking
about that before either, because that's I had got it. But yeah, maybe it wasn't like a day you were on or something. Right, I feel like, I'm gonna be honest, I've never heard anyone in Wisconsin do it either. You got a little sneeze. She was just like looking at me with her mouth wide open for a few seconds and see myself a little bit. I didn't know, Thank god, bless with you. I know, thank you very much. But we I did go to home to Indiana
on this weekend. Tell me about it. So my two friends Kimberly and Samantha, they're like the older ones from my class, were turning forty. And then they mocked me that I texted apparently I didn't remember this. The group in December of last year and planned this party for them to host for their birthday that I could come into town for. How was that sounds about?
Right? Yeah? And I was like, they're like, because you know, found so busy, she'd have to book a year in advance to be able to come see us. And I was like, okay, So yeah, I went to Indiana, got in late Friday night, and then Saturday we did like. It was a very fall party. So I had her dad Ron, he's like the Jake calls on the salt of the Earth. He put together a hay ride. He's like a very like countryman.
Yeah, a delight. I love her parents. And then her mom made like pies and chilling all this stuff and then so it was just a big fall party. Everyone came over, ate, drank. My best high school friends came. So those are like Kimberly, Jessica, Samantha, and Tiffany, and then my two friends from college hiding Abby. I had told them about it, and they've been around my high school friends enough that they're comfortable, so I was like, I'd love to see you guys. So they
drove in with their families and we hung out. And by the way, this complete side note my friend Abby, she's like, she's not that she's always single, like she's always going on dates and stuff, but she hasn't had a long term boyfriend a long time. I talked him, this one guy, how she was really into him and they dated for a couple of months and he was being weird. I was like, oh, I could tell he was not as into her she was into him, but I was
like, uh. He ended up breaking up with her and then like immediately was with a new girl posting pictures. He never posted pictures with Abby. She was so upset, you know, by that, and I felt bad for her, and because his excuse to her was he thought it would be a traveling nurse and didn't want to be tied down that he immediately started sitting a woman with a kid who lives in town she's like, are you kidding
me? So she says he texted her this weekend and was like, hey, I'm sorry I haven't checked in, Like I meant to check in to see how you were doing. And she was like, immediately went to look at his profiles to see if that picture with that girl was still ve Yeah, it was okay, but she wrote back, you know, I was sad at first, but I'm good now. I started dating someone and he was like, yeah, I'm just starting to think maybe I'm not made for
this relationship kind of thing. I think I have too many like I look into too much of what I don't have. He's like, I just really missed the physicality part of our relationship. And I go, oh, So he basically was testing the water to hook up with you, and she was like, oh, absolutely. Is he still living around near Abby or day start traveling? He started dating a girl with the kid he is and I'm like, and I go, so he just wanted to hook up with you
and was test She's like, oh, I'm sure. I was like really happy that Abby. Abby first would never go after someone who's still dating someone, but I was really happy. Abby was like saw right through that and she messaged him back and she said that, you know, she was like, yeah, I really do think you should probably start focusing on what you do have and stop looking for what you don't have, and it might help
you in future relationships. I was like, ooh, good for you, Abby, Yeah girl, but yeah, So she was annoyed by that, and I was like, what was his plan if you were like, yeah, I missed that too, he would quickly break up with this girl, because I go. But either way, it's got to make you feel good to know things they're not going so well with them and he is the problem. He's like, yes, absolutely, but anyway, Indiana, I don't know. It was fun. I shot a flamethrower. I was wondering,
what is the purpose of that thing? So where we live, it'd be'd like to get rid of like some old brush or something like clear out a whole area of like dead brush you might want to get rid of. Yeah, but Kevin had it I think mostly for fun. I think he used the brush excuse my friend's husband. And then a big thing a brush did catch on fire, not for me, and he kept was like all the
pictures and video show you with the flamethrower. I'm like, all right, let's not pin this on me. Andrew saw the video of you with the flamethrower. He goes, oh that's so cool. Yeah, I know, Okay, I get settled out over there. Was like I've never seen more join in your eyes, you'll go fucking psychos, thank you very much. But yeah, I don't. I'm trying to think if there was anything else
funny that happened, but probably not. What'd you do this weekend? So it was one of those weekends where I had so much going on and then everything got canceled. Oh was it a happy canceled? Because you know, yes, my part so I was was a good dinner with a group girlfriends that I used to work with. On Friday night, one of the girl's babies got sick. We really wanted her to be there, yeah, her to bring her baby, and so we rescheduled that dinner for a couple of
weeks away. And then Saturday, Andrew was telling me that our group of friends that always does bikes and bruise where we bike around to a bunch of breweries. We do it usually like once a month, and I haven't been able to make any of them this year, and so he was like, Oh, they're going to do a bikes and bruise on Saturday, and I was like, sweet, I can actually make it. It's gonna be nice
weather and not like super hot, gorgeous out whatever. So I text my friend and I'm like, Hey, you guys are doing bikes and bruise. But I don't see anything on Facebook because he always creates an event for it and he goes no, I like gauged interests, and nobody could really do it. It was too short of notice. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. So this is all like Friday, Friday afternoon that I'm finding out about all this, So there's nothing Saturday, and then Saturday
evening I or Friday. I'd gotten a text last minuting from my girlfriend asking if I could do dinner for her birthday Saturday night, and I was like, yeah, I'm kind of on the fence like of what I'm doing. If I'm going to do this bikes and bruise, I wasn't sure yet, and then it got canceled anyways, so I was like, yeah, I'll come to dinner. Yeah. So my weekend consisted of basically getting a new
vacuum putting that together and going hard on vacuuming, on deep cleaning. I like scrubbed our our cabinets in the kitchen, like just like really tedious shit that you never noticed and when you start noticing it, you're like, God, this is discussing my fridge and stuff so bad. Yeah, So I did a lot of cleaning, and then Saturday I did go get dinner with my couple friends for my friend's birthday, and so that was honestly the majority
of the weekend. I got absolutely sucked into Target yesterday, like I feel pathetic. Do you want to guess how long I was there? I went into get engled chill. I saw your post, Oh you saw it, So then I basically revealed, but did you say two hours? Two hours?
I'm not kidding you. So I went for chilly ingredients, and so I timed it out because I didn't know for sure, but I had gotten I've gone somewhere else before, and I looked at the receipt of where I was at before and tying out how long it probably took me to get to that target and when I actually left, and I looked at the time, and did you try on the clothes I tried them on, and it wasn't just for clothes. It's so he'll never he probably will never listen to it.
It's Dave's birthday, and so I was in it like today, no tomorrow. I was gonna say, I have it on the calendar wrong, then okay. So I was looking for things for him, and I am a freak where I read every birthday card. I always want to pick out the best one. So I spent a really good majority of time doing little things like that. I got sucked into a little bit of the Fall decor sales section and putting Decide and kept going back, and I was like,
no, I do want this, No I don't. And then eventually I saw the thirty percent off signs and the women's apparel and I was like, fuck it, let's go. Because I kind of I'm to be honest, I don't ever update my clothes except for when I go on a trip. I'm like, I need a whole new ways. How then I buy a bunch of shit that's specific for a trip to fucking Thailand. Yeah, and
I'm never gonna wear most of that in Minnesota. So I really have not gone heavily apparel shopping in a while, and Target's always very reasonable priced, and when you give me another thirty percent off, I'm gonna go hard. So I went hard. I saw it. I went hard. I tried on probably like twenty five items and only left was six. So I think I did a pretty good job. Ye me know, things that I felt like were I really wanted. I didn't just want it because it was thirty
percent off. Yeah, but yeah. Two hours later, I was leaving Target, and I was like, I told Andrew. He's like calling me. He's like, where are they. I was like, you need to come get me. I'm in Target right now and I can't get out. He's like, I'm not doing that football. No, Yeah, all right, fine, Well see if you are. Yeah. Oh my gosh, a Target is hit or missed. Sometimes they'll just have so many good things, and sometimes you're like, I can't find a damn thing. But usually
it's the I can find too much, which is an issue. Yeah, I was gonna ask you. By the way, this, I wrote this in my notes, the one thing I have written down for this week. I have decided that I like book sexual writing better than porn. Really. Yeah, Okay, I think it turns me on more that actual porn does. Okay, now I don't. I'll be honest. I don't watch a ton of porn. Occasionally, I'll like check it out, but like the more and more I go to look at it, I am like no,
and I just immediately I'm like, this is not it for me. But when I read a book and it's not even like a smut book per se, it's like a romance book or whatever, where you know the characters are going to hook up and they never do for like a few travelers. Yeah, so it builds you up. I think that that turns me on more, which is interesting because I thought I was a visual person. But I think I am falling into the complete female stereotype where they say women need to
like feel emotion and blah blah blah. Whih. I don't completely agree with that, and guys are so visual. I don't know what it is, but I feel like way more overall turned on reading man watching. I would say reading is more romantic and porn is aggressive as shit. Yeah, I'm sure there's like certain things that you get turned on by, but it is so if you're watching straightforar and if that's what you watch, it is, so I feel like heavily aimed towards the pleasure of the mail a lot of
times. Yeah, and it's it's very aggressive, and sometimes it's just like it's sex that I don't would never enjoy, Like that is not sex to me. And that's why a lot of times, so many straight men do not learn the proper way to please a woman until they finally get with women who tell them what to do because they are at their jack rabbiting. Yeah, so I feel like I get it that. I mean, I don't know. I haven't been reading much lately, but there's definitely been a handful
of books I've read where I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I texted Falent on Friday and I had to double check because I was about to text you about what I wanted to text you about, and I was like, oh shit, I should ask her. Spoiler. Then just started watching The Morning Show a few weeks ago, like season one. I'm already caught up to whatever season we're on, and I was so pleasantly turned on when Jennifer Andison and John Ham started getting it on. And I don't know,
what it was. I don't know, like the chemistry actually and Jennifer Anison, I'll be honest with you, I don't know what it is about her. Something about her gives like that almost like the real vibe in real life of what her character is on that show where she's almost like almost like my mom or my mom is like I don't think my mom will ever have a boyfriend or a husband again, like she's fine being alone. And so I just like, don't even look at Jennifer Anison as a sexual person anymore.
So I honestly thought it. I never even imagine her having a sex scene again. And then when it was very natural and good for her and John Hamm, it was and I don't know, like, Okay, obviously we love our partners, love Andrew to death, but like that initial like horny as fuck feeling you have for someone when you first start dating them, that's like what I got from these scenes, Like, oh my god, it's like that initial like to jump on them all the time. And I Yeah,
I texted Found. I was like, are you caught up? I need to talk to you about that. Yeah. So John Hamm has been one of my top since Madmen he has that arrogant asshole hot thing to him, and I'm like, I think in real life he probably is an arrogant asshole who's funny so he can get away with it because he's hot. Yep, but maybe not. I don't know. But in Madmen, he was one of them. He's the lead character of that show, and he was such an asshole, but you liked him and you wanted him to succeed.
It was like this weird, I don't know thing, but and then he was super hot and you just were into that too. So yeah, is
that show good? Because I think very good. I was gonna say, I think because it came out so or started so long ago, you don't want to worry about that because it's set in like the fifties, so it's not like it's going to be outdated because it's set in an older time anyway, Okay, because I remember it was back when I was like freshly out of college and my neighbors watched that show and I would like go over there
and watch it kind of with them, but barely pay attention. So I've kind of seen a couple episodes before, but I never like fully got into it, Jake loved it, and I was like, this is not going to be my kind of show. And I don't remember how quickly I got into it, because you know, some shows are like annoyed and then after like three or four episodes you get into it. I don't remember, it's been too long now, but I definitely got into it and really liked it.
What were we talking about when we're talking about you were going to start watching the naked show on HBO, The Naked Attraction. I watched like a couple of episodes, and I liked that I could see everyone's body part, but then I was like kind of over it. I was like, eh, you know, but that's the one where they like literally see they don't see their face until the end, oka until they they get to pick based
on the face. Okay, so the first round is like five I came as five or six people and the thing goes up and you can see their dick or vagina yep, and then they turn around and see their butt. Then they eliminate someone. Then it goes up and you can see like their chest, and then eliminate someone. Then it goes up and you can see their face. Then you eliminate someone. Then you could have them talk eliminate someone, and then now you're down to your final two and then you just
pick. Okay, And British people are just so mature. Yeah, Like the people aren't butt heard or upset. They're just like honored to be a part of it or something. It's very different than I feel like Americans would be. Just like, how I hear what is it? Love Island is like that too? Oh okay. They say that the British version is so much better because there's so much more mature about things that Americans are. But it was okay, I don't know. I don't need to watch multiple seasons,
I don't think. Yeah. Speaking of vagins, Yes, so I had a physical a few weeks ago. Yeah, they get in there. They got in there, they had to get in there. It was time. I don't know what was going on that day, but my my doctor told me that when she put what's it called a speculum, is that what it's on, I don't know whatever they put up inside of it, Yeah, to get the little swab when they do a bout. Yeah, she was like, you really don't want the in there, do you? She
said? I was like so tense. I was like pushing it out with my muscles practically, and she's like, just keep pulling on, like are you okay? Are you okay? And I was like, I'm fine. I don't know what's happening down there. I'll try to control it, but I don't know what's happening. And so I just I just sat that. I was like, relax, you're not Johnny like I sat there talking to myself, but I didn't think I was too much. She goes, okay, I'm gonna pull it out now. She goes, just kidding you pretty
much push it out. It's like, wow, strong that for you, I know. And one other thing I want to bring up. Okay, I saw this. This is a little more serious. I saw this from someone else that we both know that when you go in to get a physical, you can like ask to not be weighed. I think if you've had like an eating disorder pass or you just don't want that kind of trigger or whatever. Yeah, you can also face you can get weighed and ask them
not to tell you and face backwards too. Okay, sometimes they need it, but yeah, I just don't look at a scale. So I just like go in and I don't want to look at that because like I used to hone in on a number when I was younger, and now I don't try to do that. I just try to be happy with my body and be happy with what it does. But when I see a number, it really fucks with my head. And so when I was in for this appointment,
I was very deliberately looking away from where it showed the weight. And so I had these big boots on though, and so she was like, well, let's get your height. I'm gonna need you to take the boots off. And then she's like, well, did you want to rewigh yourself because those boots were pretty heavy, and they did, and so she goes and reweighs me, and then she tells me exactly what the difference was of the first weight versus the second weight. How much difference with those four pounds?
Oh god, she goes, Wow, She's like that really was a lot and I and so then she tells me, and I just like felt so uncomfortable in that moment because I know I was reading into it because it was like my own triggering thoughts, but it felt almost like there was like judgment from her of like what my weight even was, and I don't know.
It just like really triggered me. And I had that appointment and I cried to Andrew on the phone afterwards, because I know that I am in great shape and I know I'm healthy, but like, hearing that number literally sends me back to like these days when my friends were like one hundred and twenty pounds growing up and I was like curvy and had and so it was
like so triggering to me. And I'm trying to tell Andrew, and of course, like Andrew just doesn't understand, like he like he doesn't he pays attention sort of to his weight here and there, but yeah, obviously he just like grew up differently than a female experience growing up at the age that we're at and stuff. But I was so annoyed because I felt like I
was pretty obviously not looking at the scale. Yeah, so when she told me the weight, I was like, and she was a very tiny human and I'm once again I might be reading into what was really nothing on her side of things. But I was a frustrated, and I'm like, maybe I do need to start saying I don't want to know. Yeah, maybe not because I just felt so triggered afterwards. I always I hate I look
at it and I'm always like yep and like disappointed. The thing that triggers me is, I know we say curvy now to be like it's a compliment, but growing up, curvy was not a compliment. That was a way that they described you as not being thin. Yep. And so the other day someone was like, you know, curvy girls like us to me, and I'm aware, and I am like, make jokes at my own expense, but when other people like will say curvy like me, it still does
something to me. I have people DM me all the time, and please, if you have this is not a knock on you. I just I hope you know. It's completely my own insecurity. But they'll say I think I have a similar body type to you, what size do you wear or whatever? And I hate that, I really do, because that can go a couple of different way. But usually all that does for me is send me spiraling, because I like, I don't know, I don't know what
to recommend to people. I have some people like that'll send me links for clothes and I'm like, I'm not in that size category. So then that will upset me, and so I just get and then and then it upsets me that I care that much that it upsets me. Yeah, so then it's a whole like level. But I will look at the scale because I'm like, you know, maybe sometimes like maybe I'll be surprised. Never am I surprised, Jenny, Never am I happily surprised. I know, I
just I don't know. I know that. Like, like I said, I try so hard to focus on the fact that I have a body that is capable of working out and doing things, and I'm very happy with where I am physically, Like I have never been in better shape in my life than the last few years in my life, even then I probably played sports in high school on But that number just still fucking gets me. Yeah,
still gets me. It is I think you probably should. Yeah, then if it caused that, you should probably just be very upfront like, hey, I don't want to know the weight on the scale. I'm trying to like and they I think they'll completely get it. But yeah, that's upsetting that you purposely tried to avoid it. And she's like, oh good news.
I mean it was last four pounds with the boom. It was literally like the wall was right in front of me, and the thing was like probably up to my boob sort of where it said the number, and I was literally looking up towards the ceiling. Yeah, that's how obvious I was. Like I could have even looked straight and then it was like in my eyesight almost, but I was deliberately looking up towards the sailing. Well. Yeah, well we're about there for time. Is there anything else you wanted
to add? Any A limerick? Maybe, but you can't, we be honest, all the limericks like that. I don't even know if we're going to come up with something good like that, but no, I think I think that's all I got for today, all right, Well, as always, email us Balan at katieweb dot com or me at KDWB dot com. Yeah, thank you, yeah, thanks Dennie.