Hello and welcome to I'll ask my sister, the advice podcast where the cosmic meets the corporate. I'm Ellen Hooper and executive coach from Melbourne. And I'm joined by my sister, Mads Williams, a human design coach currently in London. And we have such a great guest for today. I know. Have you had a cosmic or corporate week?
Oh, well, I have had a like compulsory cosmic week because the wisdom tooth saga continues, and I know I told you last week that the dentist said it would take somewhere between one day and a week. And I chose one Yes, you chose, you chose like it was completely within your control. the universe keeps teaching me the lesson about resting. So I have been resting. I've watched the whole season of The Diplomat. well done, And, look, I love, like, Smug. For about a week about how great it was.
I had deliberately taken the, you know, time off and I didn't have any client meetings. And then by about Wednesday of the second week, I really started to panic. Cause I was like, I still don't feel good. And like, I'm so busy from Monday. So I'm in the middle ground. Like I still have some work hanging over my head that I didn't push through with. But, yeah, I did do some resting. So. There you go. I don't know what Louise Hayes has to say about teeth, but yeah, I'll find out.
Long standing indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. so tHis says teeth, teeth problems, root canal, impacted wisdom teeth. And impacted wisdom teeth says not giving yourself mental space to create a firm is also what it says in my book. And that is so accurate and accurate. Annoying. amazing though that there is the difference between just regular teeth and wisdom teeth. Yeah. Well, I guess, yeah, they're a pretty big Wow. She gave herself one day, guys.
She gave herself one day. I guess I will continue on giving myself the mental space to create a firm foundation. Amazing. Okay. Have you had a cosmic week or a corporate week? Oh, I've been so thrown this week. It's been very cosmic in the sense that it's probably been one of the biggest weeks of my life where I've realized I don't totally know how to protect myself energetically. And like, that's really massive when you are quote unquote holding space.
please don't roll your eyes at me, but like, I guess I'm tapping more into my psychic abilities. Also no one's surprised by that. I don't know why I'm making that sound so crazy, But I used to say this all the time about like, I'm a creative, not an artist. And I think I'm like, I'm not a healer. And I think what's interesting about holding space or working in energetics or, doing this work is that. You and I have a very open chart.
I think I've just been like really opening myself up in these sessions. And normally that's chill. Cause maybe I see like three people a week and then I do other work and I can close that. But this week I've. had around nine people in that space and it really took from my reserves, like it took from my energy and I felt I got sick and I just was kind of like life's never going to be joyful again. And as a generator, it's really important that we prioritize our joy.
And so then I was on this space. Spiral of like, I'm in the wrong line of work because I'm an unhappy generator. And just like staring down the barrel of the gun of like, Oh my God, I'm going to have to change my entire life and like pivot and have a different career when actually, I think I just need to run my business a little bit smarter, do some more joy things and work out how to protect my energy. So I've got a session slash reading with my kind of OG.
Spiritual coach who does all my check ins regularly. So that's happening in 24 hours, actually. So I've changed my mindset and I've set better structures for 2025 already, which is kind of insane for me, I'm kind of doing this thing. Like if I'm a one three and I am learning as I go and learning where I need to course correct then it's like, okay, well actually I've already learned the lesson. So let's just set it up for 2025, which feels good. So I don't have to go back.
Let's see if that holds up. And again, if anyone's new, it's that notion. In human design, you have a personality profile and these numbers they have. Energies to them, they embody different personality archetypes. So when I talk about being a one, three, that three in my personality profile is all about trial and error and experimenting. So I actually do tend to learn more from things that fuck up or don't go very well. I don't believe in the word failure, but you know, you could apply it here.
And so instead of going on frustrated and feeling stuck and feeling disappointed, I just get to go, Oh, that uncomfortable week is actually going to set me up so much better for the future. Like, thank you. Like now let's keep moving and course correct. Well, you know, I love a plan, so that sounds Yeah. Let's see if we stick to it. Okay. Should we introduce our guest today? We have had such a lovely, wise, insightful guest join us.
And thank you for now being at the stage where you think I am cool enough to meet your friends. that, as I explained to her, Is your hang up because I haven't felt like that for a really long time, like more than half of our life but it is amazing because especially having the podcast, it means so many of my very special friends. No, Ellen, and I talk to everyone I know about Ellen. So it always feels like everyone's already connected.
So when I bring you together, it's so special because now you can form your own budding relationship off screen together. But I just wanted to say thank you so much to Tamara Dresen. She is someone I really love. Connected with only this year and as she termed it, she has become my spiritual running buddy and we genuinely speak nearly every day with excessive voice notes, but so much of that is processing and she's honestly just such a sparkly treasured person. Person in my life.
She is an incredible tarot reader. She has a podcast called another phase with the most incredible guests. I say that before I was a guest because I was listening as a, as an OG fan. Um, She's also an author and just had a piece published in L all about 2025 pulling tarot for the different zodiac signs. So I recommend that as a little insight scoop into what next year is going to bring, but really she's a ray of sunshine.
So I'm glad that Ellen got to meet her and that you're about to hear all the goodie juicy goodness she has for us. We're so excited for you to hear from tomorrow. do it. Hello, Tamara. Thank you so much for joining us on the pod. We're big fans. I'm a big fan, so I'm super, super excited to be here. Thank you. We always start by just asking, do you identify as more cosmic or corporate? I feel like I can guess, but tell us.
I am cosmic, but there's definitely some corporate in there for sure, And which kind of came first for you? I think I've always been cosmic, and then went through a kind of like more corporate phase and then my satin return reactivated My cosmic Okay. That's really nice. We tend to hear that, don't we? Even Kels was kind of saying Saturn return was the time. That was when I had my pivot. It comes for you.
If you're, if you're cosmically inclined, it's like, Saturn's like, we are not waiting any longer. I'm just raised by an Indian engineer Catholic dad, what does it look like to kind of be cosmic from a young age? is that part of how your family vibes?
no I'm the black sheep Yeah, no, but interesting like astrologically my mom has so much in her chart that is about like spirituality But she's not In that, in any shape or form, but she has, and this year I have opened it up to flower remedies, which is huge for her, Madeline's obsessed with flower remedies. same Tamara and I talk about alfalfa remedies every day. every dilemma of like, well, when do we take next? Hey, just tell the listeners what they are.
I reckon there was people who listen all the time and you talk about them on most every episode and they're like, what is this? They're essentially vibrational medicine they're working at the kind of soul wounds that needs help with reprogramming or releasing, you know, things that aren't yours, but they're honestly like, what are they fundamentally that little liquid drops that you put under your tongue four times a day. They taste delicious, but.
They have massive impacts on your life that they're truly like manifestation in a bottle. What would you add to that tomorrow? Yeah, I think they're like manifestation in a bottle, but also they kind of like hold you with whatever you're going through. So it's not like trying to like suppress things and just like put toxic positivity of like, I just want to feel good all the time. It really helps you move through whatever you're, whatever is coming up for you.
For you in a way that feels like I said, really supported, really nurturing, but also really healing and constructive. I think to help you kind of move through it and process it in the way that it needs, to be in that moment. And I was listening to Alexis smart talk. Cause I'm having a real moment. I just, I think there are messages from her I'm needing and in deciding which flower remedy to choose next. And so I've been like consuming all of her podcasts.
And she was saying, After you take certain bottles, you will start attracting in higher things, and it's because you have cleared the wound or pattern that used to gravitate towards that thing, so the outside, like your outside life. Does start reflecting back what's happening internally. That's why I guess I was talking about them being little manifestation in bottles. and what's really cool about it. Like in terms of manifestation, we often go like, what am I wanting?
What am I trying to call in? And she says like, that's amazing. But when it comes to flower remedies, we don't ask, what are we wanting? We ask what's wrong, what is going wrong? Cause that is actually like the thing on repeat. So for example, I could say I want love, but if what's wrong is I'm in pain, I'm heartbroken.
Well, then we fix the heartbreak rather than trying to call into love because fixing in the heartbreak will therefore like in theory, attracting people who aren't also heartbroken and unavailable, or, then it gets me to a place that when I am ready to take. In love and call in love. Then we've done the like soul level correction. And that's just a totally hypothetical scenario. It's totally hypothetical guys.
I've got wholehearted on my way to me as we speak tomorrow, because I was like this in love, keep showing me like, yeah, it's all well and good, but you're, still a little broken baby. I was just thinking to myself, , is it socially unacceptable in a public forum to be like, and which flower remedies are you taking at the moment? Like maybe that's too open. Well Mads is on wholehearted. Well, it's on its way. I can't wait. I'm on, What am I on at the moment? Moon river.
So that's the women's balance. I've taken nearly all of them. Have you tried any? Mads passive aggressively sends me the flower remedy she thinks that I ought to take. I think it's with love because I don't have much disposable income right now. So if you're getting them, that's like the ultimate love for me, but sure, passive aggressively. I self selected Unburden as my most recent one. And Mads sent me In Love. have you been finding unburden? I'm not very consistent with them.
I think that that's okay though. sorry to Alexis. Oh, Tamara thinks it's okay, Mads. Mads is just like, you, that is unacceptable. know, it's just cause Ellen's chart so consistent. So I think that's so interesting because, they work when it's a vibrational match for you and you want to work with it. Like if that would just show to me like, Oh, I'm kind of half in, I'm a kind of half out, or it's not quite the right match or whatever. And that, so Tamara, take it away. It is totally fine.
Yeah, I think that because I think obviously you've got on the bottle You need to take it four times a day four drops, but I think that also Intuitively we know how much we need so like one drop a day or like when you feel like you need it like We all work differently and we all need different things and again, like there's different levels of readiness Like we're all in like so we're like maybe more than four times a day maybe more than four drops but I actually, my whole
heart and I was telling you tomorrow, like I finished it in a week and a half and it's supposed to last for between like three and four weeks. I was just like literally downing it. And then that's why I thought it was so funny that I was like, yeah, now I'm ready for in love. And I'm like, ah, it's your impulsive behavior to drink this. Syrup probably implies you need a little bit more time here, Yeah, Because they are very powerful as well.
And even I bought some his and hers unburdened recently for my partner. Because I thought, well, I bought a remedy for me and a remedy for him. Thinking that actually, no, he needs it, but I need him to take it to like, help us out here. he wasn't consistent, but I was just giving him drops when I remembered, like, or he was stressing me out. I was like, oh, you need Umberto. Take that. But then we got to a point where it was like, actually, I need this Umberto more than you do.
the bottle then became mine. But even the drops that he did have, even though he wasn't having it four times a day, I can see the shift in him from those drops that he has had, like, over that time. So that's why I'm like, something's better than nothing. You know? It is interesting being in partnership and, I don't know the kind of swings of cosmic and woo, and like how far your partner's kind of willing to match you in those, that rollercoaster. Yeah, my husband would be like, yeah.
Get this weird stuff away from me, a hundred percent. but he wouldn't 2024. Cause the last time I was home with you guys at dinner, he was like, okay, so tell me about my chart. And what does this mean? Like people catch up or not even catch up. They're just on their own schedule. He's an avid listener of the pod, so sometimes now the podcast is a way for us to communicate with each other, which is Subliminal. Try these remedies. Too good. All right.
So we've gone cosmic corporate back to 80 percent cosmic. talk to me about your tarot journey. Like, how did you find tarot? And I know it's like a pool for you at the moment. But yeah, I'm curious about. So, going back to what I was saying about my mum not being cosmic at all. The first tarot deck I ever, or had was one that I'd found at home. It was in this fortune telling kit. I just adopted it because it was just there.
And Over the years I'd pull cards, like look it up because I thought it was cool, but I didn't really know what it meant. And the questions were very much like, will I get a boyfriend? That like, does someone say like me, like just coming at it from like, not the most conscious. Yeah, exactly. Why does so and so hate me? So for like doing like coming at it from that lens and then.
As I got older, then I started going to see tarot readers and psychics and things like that and I'd still dip into the tarot but very much like, I'd pull a card, look it up in the guidebook and kind of, some of it would make sense, some of it wouldn't, but it was just all very surface level.
And then when I, again, come back to like my Saturn Return, like that's when I really went all in because I just had this huge healing crisis where I realized like Just doing things the way that I was supposed to be doing wasn't working for me And it felt like there were a lot of doors closing closed for me in my like self discovery journey and it's like actually do you know what I'm just going to follow the paths that actually really work for me and the tarot was one of them and I
went down this huge rabbit hole of just learning how to read the tarot doing different workshops and different courses and then I think then being in my complete generator about it, then it was like a track people like, Oh, can you read my cards for me? And it just kind of had this ripple effect. And then, yeah, before I know it, like that's my job. And I'm eventually leaving my head, my hairdressing job to be like a tarot reader and a healer and write books about things. So, yeah.
I love this quote and I have it up in my room somewhere, which was um, remember when you once dreamed of being where you are today? And cause I do a lot of work with people in careers and I. Yeah, I always find that really magical. So maybe you can help us out now with your tarot magic.
So we have we been doing this podcast for six months now, it depends what you talk about as doing, because actually at the end of this month will be a year since we first recorded our first ever app, but the, yeah, it came out end of March. That's We did a real snail girl release. Yeah. We had to build in some time for all the episodes Mads recorded about dating and then decided she didn't want to release. The quality. universe protected you, it's interesting. We love it.
We really enjoy it, but it's got a little bit of like stagnant energy around it, which we're been kind of proking and prodding out and then retreating from. And so, yeah, I wonder if you could share a tarot card with us about the podcast. my kinesiologist. Who's going to work with us she talks about the podcast or like your business has its own energy. Is it about just where are you going with the podcast or about the stagnancy? I very rationally want to like, grow it, grow it, grow it.
But I wonder the better question is like, what contribution is it meant to make to the world? I don't feel like that's a very real question. Like it is a real question, but I feel like when you're saying about like where you want to take it, like there feels like energy around it when you're saying like what's our contributing? It's just like a little bit like flaccid. I also can feel the stagnation in my chest since we started talking about it.
because we know where we want it to grow to and like, what contribution all from our head and like, from fantasizing and dreaming, but. The stagnation stuff is really interesting. Cause it's what Tamara was suggesting before we press record about, I guess, Tara can just cut through the bullshit and get to the truth. And so this is probably what we need to hear. Cause also clearing the stagnation is what's going to give you the momentum for it to be what you want it to be.
Like that's your launch pad. How can you clear the stagnation to really align with your vision for the podcast? That sounds great. She's done it cause she's hit, she's hit both. I know. I love someone who like calls bullshit on you as well. Just being like, so yeah, you've got the mags. So this is the Magician. So the first thing that is, this card is so well known for like as above, so below. So your thoughts create your reality.
So how you're perceiving things it's also gonna really color and influence the way that you're moving.
But I think for you with , this stagnancy with the magis is like, I think There's like a resistance on initiating like I think there's so much more that you could be initiating with the podcast But you're just like as I'm seeing it coming through for you is that you're both just treading water like just treading water treading water waiting for maybe like a sign or like to feel right or like this like permission from something or someone or whether it's a certain amount of listeners or
a certain opportunity that comes from it. But actually I think for you, coming back to Kelsey, like what I'm hearing is just like messy action. It's just doing the things that you're just like, I don't care where this podcast is going. Like, the magician is also the presenter and like someone that's really confident in what they're speaking about and they can sell ice, is this ice or snow to the Eskimos?
And I think for you as well, like there, there's maybe some like confidence lacking in what you're bringing to the table when like, as a listener, when you're listening. I likened the opportunity to be a guest on this to being featured in Elle because that's genuinely how I see it. Like, Oh, because it is me. I like, I love listening to you. Like It is that for me. And I think that you do give just through your conversations and kind of the journey that you both.
Been going through as you've created this podcast and you've been producing it, like, I think you're giving so much to other people that you don't even realize, like you're both positioning yourselves as experts and thought leaders without even realizing it. And I think the magic is like, just step up and actually kind of like release the attachment of like, but it should be like this. It should be like that.
Having fun with it, and like being the presenters that you want to be, but also, like I said, not waiting until you think you're ready, it's just like, how do I want to do it now, like, how, or how do I want to be doing it when I'm gonna, Officially label it as successful. Why can't I do it doing that now? But I think there's like the momentum that's lacking like that It's taking action on things that actually make it more exciting.
So it might be branching out It might be things that you've been talking about, but you've maybe been Shelving she like it doesn't feel like the right time yet, or If you've got an idea of something, but you haven't yet voiced it to the other.
Like, I think that it's just this act as a bluff, so below exactly like that quote that you just said, like, remember when you wanted what you have now, I think it's like really connecting those dots and closing that gap of kind of like, how do you bring where you want it to be in the new year? Like, whether it's a timeline or, like, by then, like, this is what we're going to do.
But then MAGIS is, like, it is really speaking for, like, initiation and just doing it , and don't let perfectionism get in the way around that. Ellen, I think we might have to change our plans and do that event in London after all. Have you We haven't booked those. I haven't booked those flights. No. That's very funny. It's really funny too, because. Yeah, it's, I just, I feel like I'm dobbing on about this whole Go on. I can handle it. I'm like Tamara. I'm an open book as well.
I think often when you work in the kind of cosmic space and we try to practice what we preach and sometimes MADS can be very resistant to conventional wisdom we've probably got some things we could just Do you even the way we started, you know, start the way you want to go on was really how we started. And that meant like having the music we loved having branding that we took very seriously. And It actually was kind of the opposite of messy action.
You know, we recorded for months before we launched. And we both have the three in our personality profile, which means throwing things up against the wall and seeing what sticks and, and being able to pivot. And, and I, when you were talking tomorrow, I was thinking about how much with my business I do just fling things at the wall. I'm like, oh, all right, let's try it. We'll launch that and see if anyone's. We're pivoting. Oh, that's a price change. Oh, okay.
And there is so much like chaotic energy. And I think what's been so nice about Ellen has such structured energy to my chaos that I've gone like, yeah, but it's sensible. And we show up once a week and we're doing it like slowly and surely, but actually she's consistent day to day, but she's also got that three. So. we actually both thrive living a little more like on the fly. hearing you talk like that, I can access what that feels like with my own creativity.
So it feels nice to be able to bring that energy here as well, rather than, so way less about like, if Ellen wants to do conventional wisdom play by the rules, whatever, that's fine. But at least I know what now my contribution can be energy wise. So that was so helpful. Thank you. Oh my God. That was so helpful. I'm like, everyone, this is why you need a tarot talk in your life. Like in literally five minutes. I was like, Oh, all right, we got it can people buy that?
Like, how do Yeah, Yeah, they can just order it on my website and then, there's a little form and you put in your question or you can do lucky dip. So if you don't know what you want to ask or you're just curious, then you can just use a lucky dip and then like anything, just see what needs to come through. So yeah, they are really fun and cool. so good. And you're so mad. Tell us what your website is. So my website is tamaradreeson. com. And do you have a question for us?
Do I have a question for you? Yes, I do. I went blank then. I was like, was I supposed to have a question? I do, because I was messaging mad about it yesterday. My question is around, like, how do you, and I'm really interested to get both of your perspectives on this, like from you, Ellen, as like a mum and a generator, and from Mads as a generator and a human design coach, but yeah. How do you, be a generator when like life is lifing?
can I just start by saying the most validating thing that's ever happened to me is when Mads came and stayed at our house over Christmas and she was like, wow, it's so hard to be in alignment with small children. And I was like, thank you. Thank you so much. Cause before she came and said it, I think sometimes she was like, yeah, cause like you just need to like clean up your energy. And I was like, I'm so tired. Yeah, it's hard when there's like, I think Bodhi's a generator as well.
We have so many moments of joy throughout the day, but it's so hard to do the things that are for me that really activate that for me. And lately I he's been resisting bedtime. So he'll go to sleep at nine and I'm like, Oh, that's like my day. Well, like that's a very small window to kind of get anything done. That is truly terrible. Like my condolences. Yeah, thank you. Ellen. I think you take it fast from the kind of practical lived experience.
I find it really hard to feel restricted from, you following my energy, like particularly when I feel really inspired to do something on a Saturday, but like we have like swimming and basketball. I don't know that there's any particular, workarounds for that. And having said that, I also think it's like important to do that kind of, is it Charlotte York or Carrie Bradshaw who's like, you choose your choice You say this every episode and it's Miranda to Charlotte It's Miranda to Charlotte.
Okay, cause in my mind it's the scene where like, Carrie tries to take Charlotte's engagement ring from her. no, Charlotte is wanting to get out of the career. Scope, landscape, and feels Miranda's judgment and Miranda's like, you choose your that's Cause that is horrifying to me. So it's makes sense that I blocked it from my mind. So it's like, I could actually flow that energy through.
I just, I'm not prepared to make that trade off to, like, not give my kids, like, the consistency or follow through or I guess to not kind of hold up the type of partnership I want to have with my husband. And I think it's always useful to be like, options are more limited, but I am actually making a choice and it's a values aligned choice. And it's like, It's the best choice of bad options. And so that can be helpful.
The big thing for me has just been constantly trying to pull back and create more and more space. So to kind of get cleaner and cleaner about not doing any thick bullshit stuff. So not kind of doing any like housework or chore stuff that I don't really care about. I find it harder to not do work particularly lucrative work, but that's kind of the next space. And even then for me, like I'm a 20 extrovert on the Myers Briggs.
Like I love being around people, but even kind of being a bit cleaner about that. So I've started watching out for like multiple nights out in a row. Okay. Even though I like, I really do want to do each of those social things, but what's the kind of energetic impact of that going to be and then actually having fun with my kids is the other thing that's, I think useful and important. I mean, there's a really good quote by some guy who writes a book about productivity.
His name's like Daniel, it's such a good quote. And it's, that you can do anything, but you can't do everything. like I just, I hate this saying, like, Can we have it all? Because actually like there, men don't have it all either, everything's kind of a trade off and I have just a deep philosophy about getting really clear about the things that are important to you and trying to make sure that your time and energy is matched. And not many of us actually do that.
Like particularly lots of people would say health is the most important thing. And that's not really where we spend our time as much. For me at this stage of life, like the thing I try to protect somewhat unsuccessfully is like sleep, that it's all about sleep. So I have like heavily supplemented, like earplugs, sleep mask sleep. And like maybe one day when that feels like more.
Of something that's guaranteed, I will, like, think about food, something like the next kind of thing on the, like, hierarchy of wellbeing needs. What would you add, Mads? this question, so intriguing to me, I think what I'm going to do, I'm going to take it from like the conventional, like wisdom of the charts. Which might feel annoying, but like, I'm going to go back to that just so we have the basics, like on record.
And then I'm going to take it from my own lived experiences week, which might also be annoying because I'm like in a very different life stage, but I kind of had a real like, whoa, flip out generator week. So hopefully there's something in it, but. I guess it's this idea with generators where our karma is literally to be validated for doing things that we don't want to do. And so again, I'm not a parent. I haven't experienced it. I, we were talking about when I stayed with Ellen.
That was challenging. So I understand the complexities. But if you just like take this notion that. The little humans that came through, you chose you as a parent, and we want to defend their alignment and their authenticity as much as we can. Well, then we want to apply the same rules to us. So if you are preaching this alignment, you are showing them that it's also safe for them to take up the same amount of space.
So for generators, we really do need to reframe that putting our joy first is a selfish act. And so that, of course, when you're. Co creating a day with a tiny person is going to look really different. I totally get that.
But it's also that just worth looking through, like, Oh, are there tweaks that could be made that I'm assuming it has to be the way that it does that actually put me in like, My better stage first, because of the oxygen mask on first way of living, that will then have a better flow on effect. And that's the thing about when you're working with human design, like it's, it's a kind of like, this is like a cosmic blueprint. This is us being tapped into source. This is something beyond us.
So if we get out of the way and we trust that the reason our guy is responding to something or wanting us to do something or saying no to something, if it's like smarter than we could ever be. Well, then playing in that pool and seeing where it unfolds is like quite a nice way to do it. I know that's quite generic.
So, like, for example, this week, I've started, my big group container, but I also had my cosmic community continuing to run along and then I had clients coming through and so I tend to be someone who's like, Very introverted, very in my own energy. I live alone. Kind of going from like three clients a week to like, and creating a lot of content and like being like, just in my own, like juju, I would call it to having nine humans orbiting me and feeling like I was it.
Didn't have enough to give anymore. Right. Like I, and then what happens is you feel like people are taking from you, which they absolutely not. That is the, like, that was the energetic exchange you signed up for. But suddenly I was like in my victim hood of like, people want too much from me. And. I'm so unhappy and my energy is so drained. And I did this thing where I was, especially cause I'm a human design coach, I really monitor my energy at the end of every interaction or anything.
But even in that, I'd like gotten way into my head and I just was like perpetuating this narrative of like, you're an unhappy generator. You're an unhappy generator. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. And I messaged a friend who is like sneaky, very cosmic, but not cosmic at all. You know, those ones where you're like. crazy, you're very intuitive, but she doesn't use the language.
she was like, look, I had two days last week where I felt totally depressed and it passed and now I'm feeling my bubbly sparkly self, like it will pass. You don't need to put so much attention on it. And then all my cosmic things were firing off, right? Like, you know, where attention goes, energy flows, or that saying that I think I spoke to Ellen about literally today, like you tell God, It's terrible. He'll be like, you want terrible. I'll show you terrible. You want good. I'll show you good.
And so I just had this moment of like, oh, my gosh. Okay. I've been 1 perpetuating a narrative and 2 if I use this as feedback for my gut being unhappy or my energy being low, it's just showing me that this is not working. And so I got to go like, okay, amazing. It means the next time I launch something, I won't have two great programs running in tandem. Like I will do it differently. I will set different boundaries.
Like I've learned so much from this experience and like I'm a three personality profile, so this actually is how I interact with life anyway. But just for me going, especially as a generator being like, Oh, I'm not stuck in this forever. literally brought my energy like sky high up from where it was. So I wonder as well, if there are little moments of the day where just like even having that language with yourself of like, Oh, I'm so frustrated as a generator. Cause I feel stuck.
Okay, how could I get out of stuckness in this moment? Or even if it's just, body's going to sleep in an hour. So I, I just got to get through an hour or like, you know what? It's just this week. That's a bit shit. Or like, I don't really don't want to be like, you know, until he's four, that's not how we want to live, but just this, like, okay, stuck is the sign. I'm not happy. I'm not in alignment. What's a little bit of like wiggle room I've got to shake it up.
my husband and I are really big at constantly reevaluating the childcare situation. So even now the kids are. In childcare and school, you know, like maybe at the start of this year, we started doing, um, getting the next door neighbor to do like a two and a half hour babysitting every Tuesday night. So we can just like actually talk to each other uninterrupted and then, We've been really busy.
So we like brought in another babysitter to do like a pick up from school and put the kids to bed another night. just relooking at that balance. So if I'm not getting a lot of time and space for either myself or us together, just like what are some solutions for that? cause that's when you do get to like, Oh, okay. Well, when they go to school in like five years, maybe I will. Yeah. And like, it's so great that Matt brought that up.
Cause that's when you can start feeling really trapped and I love language. I think it's what kind of drew me to. Law and then, and then writing and then podcasting. But I rewrite so many narratives for myself by hearing the words I say to my kids. You know, like my son will pass is like super fancy car and he was like really interested in it and like cars aren't my thing at all. But I found myself being like, Oh, well, if you work really hard, you know, you can buy this when you're older.
And then I was like, no, not that, like, that's actually not the values I want to impart. So I've spent a lot of time being like, well, what do I want to say? And I kind of landed with working smart. If you work really smart, then you can buy those things when you're older. And with time and work, I've always, said to the kids, like, I want to go to work now, not like I have to go to work. And we'll have a few conversations about some of the things that they really enjoy.
And why work is like something that I really enjoy. And how they like to spend time with their friends and I like to spend time with my friends. So I think those are like really, I mean, honestly, they're more for me than for them, but I just do find that that kind of is constantly getting me to relook at, those narratives that I tell myself like, Oh, I have to, it's like, no, I actually just really want to, and that's okay too. Hmm. What was coming up for you tomorrow?
Yeah, I think from what Ellen was saying, it just comes back to that kind of saying, like, words are like spells. , how we talk about things and the mindset thing, and like back to the magician card as above, so below, like how we're thinking about something or how we're perceiving is what, how we experience it. And I think like also, even as you were saying, Oh yeah, maybe those words are just for me. I think that what we're saying to our children is so much more powerful than we realize.
And it's like, that's again, that's that kind of like subliminal, like, We're like, they're developing, they're absorbing their awareness of the world, like through us so much. And the words that we use, I think is so important, even if we think that they're not getting it or it's not really landing and it is just for them, they will be absorbing it on a level. And I think that that's such a gift as well. Like having that awareness cause just that tweak in the word is everything, isn't it?
Like you just change it and it changes the energetics of it and the, the potential of what that. What that statement can lead to as well. Even if it feels like just a little, like, comment about a flashy car. It also made me think of my favorites, you know, like the people that are part of my built out go tos and my Pilates instructor online, Bryony Deary, she, she talks regularly about her family's mythology of, you know, what's going on. For you won't go past you.
And then Jenna Zoe was just showing up on her Instagram, talking about how her dad would always say, when you travel, you travel in three parts, first goes the body, then the stomach, then the soul. so even Ellen, just that thing of like, you're reinforcing that for you, but also for your kids, and then it becomes this thing like, Oh, our family used to say, or always said, like, I really like , the values that can get embedded, like from a really. High consciousness kind of place.
But I'm curious with both of you, you two are so important to me, you're like honestly, my biggest literal and soul sisters. And, we often talk about different age and stage. And so I get really conscious of being annoying with my advice, but like hearing some of the generator. Tips, like, because. It's that notion that, it's simple, but not easy. And especially when you're navigating another person.
So was there anything you can, when you heard that you were like had resistance to, or you feel like I've already tried that and it's not working or did it feel like, Oh no, I could actually take tweaks here and implement. I think that we, need to continually remind women that sacrifice isn't love or that, um, love. Based on sacrifice is really easy to become resentment. And I think that's a message that does get met with lots of resistance, but that idea that your joy or health or wellbeing.
is actually really important, an important foundation for being the best parent you can be. I think that's a really useful and important message. And I think it's really then easy to look at someone who doesn't have kids and be like, you don't get it. it's just a different version of, I think, a really useful message. it's just being a bit more creative, like having to be a bit more resourceful.
Cause I feel like so much of what you were saying, Max, I was like, yeah, like I take that on board and We were talking about this recently, just micro dosing. So rather than being like, Oh yeah, I can't go on a retreat or kind of like get a full eight hours sleep, but I can micro dose like , those moments, that kind of pep me up. But, and also we have been trying to do that. Well, I say we, Bodhi hasn't really had a say in it, but this week we have had like no plans.
We've just been like, what mood, what are we both in the mood for today? Like, what do we want to do? Like going with the flow more. And this week has felt so much more easier rather than like, but I've got to be here. Like we said, we're going to be there, like doing all this. It's been like every day, like what he's saying yes to or no to, even though my partner was like, he's going to say, you know, he doesn't really know, but he, I think he does.
And like, sometimes, yeah, he's going to say no to something, but we're going to go and he's, going to have a nice, time. I'm going with the flow rather than forcing it. it's been so much easier for me. I think like that's made me has actually made me feel more generator. But I think listening to what you've both said, , it's just making me think like, yeah, I am doing enough. Like it's so easy to think like, oh yeah, I need to be a shinier version of like myself.
And I'm being this version of a generator, in this lifetime, like rather than like the generator version of myself. When I was like in a different phase of my life or where the generated generated version of myself like in the future, like it's like, how can I just be the most generated version of myself now with what I've got, I think is my takeaway. I love that.
And even, you know, just talking about going with the flow, like your quad right, which means all your arrows at the top point to the right, which means more in the passivity and the flow is actually what as your generator is in alignment. So I love being able to go, Oh, it's actually. Feels better. And so like other, other people might say, you know, Oh, you have to have all this on the diary and this is how you get the best for your kids. And duh, duh, duh, duh.
But it's he came in to be with you in this moment. And so you, You get to make it up as you go. And the other thing that just reminded me, you know, you're talking about that. I could stay up till, or I should stay up to or whatever in terms of like working on a business plan or putting something into motion rather than going to bed. And I will just say, actually, especially as a quad, right.
Or someone whose energy is like inconsistent or likes to dip in and out as a generator, when you have energy, like. I swear to God, and again, I don't have children, but like, if you are excited, you kind of override your natural sleep tendencies. So if there is actually something that needs like creativity wise, speaking in terms of your business, if there is something that needs to pour out of you, like you will be awake because it will like have to come out.
And so that's another thing as well, where you can just take the pressure off and trust, like, I don't need to be up for this. my magnetic pool isn't pushing me towards my notebook or the computer or my Instagram or whatever is your outlet for work. and so then again, you get to be like, okay, I'm doing an incredible job, not just like I'm, I'm doing enough. Like I'm literally exceeding at where my generator wants to be expressing its energy right now.
Cause I do think, what I'm learning about you is you have that. Achievement hangover that Ellen seems to have as well. It was just like high standards, very high standards for yourself. And we talked about it, recently as well. Like I think when you are. in this phase of motherhood, it's also like being really proud of your past self and all she did for you to get you to this moment to then be able to kind of settle into where you are right now.
And like, yes, you'll kind of keep evolving and like turn into your future self. But it's like the opposite of rest on your laurels. It's like, yeah, you can rest right now on what you've already created, what you've already done and integrate from there before always, like, as we also talk about, like, on to the next, on to the next, on to the next Yeah. So I think you're very shiny. Thanks.
And sometimes the people in your position, and I've been in this position myself, it's sometimes really useful to just deduct your age from 65, which is the retirement age in Australia. I'm not sure what it is in the UK, but that's usually like, Oh my gosh, I actually UK, all these years ahead of work and building businesses and whatever that looks like. And I also can be useful to think about what you were doing 10 years ago or five years ago and how much that's grown or changed.
Just I think in this stage of parenting, we can feel like we're running out of time or that we're stuck or stagnant. And so just kind of remembering how much of life is likely left, can be really helpful too. we hear from our sponsor? Let's do it. Shall we hear from our listener? Yes. Let's do it. So this question comes from a four six manifesto from East Sussex. She's an art director and also has owned a small business. And she's got a question about. side business life.
I like that she hasn't used side hustle because I did say recently, I hate that word. So she's gone for side business. Yes, absolutely. Okay. So the question today is I'm struggling to get clear on what I want from my side business, and it's paralyzing me from making clear next moves or taking it to the next level until I answer the ultimate question.
Deciphering whether my feelings are fear slash conditioning slash not being able to see my way of doing it, or if I don't actually want it at my very core being, sometimes I can see and feel it so clearly how big and beautiful it could become, but alongside it is total fear of what that might bring with it. Can I be the mother I want to be or the partner or the friend and hold space for all the parts I want to show up fully as.
Transcribed recently, I have really felt that I can't have it all and I have to choose. But this burning decision feels like it's splitting parts of myself. What is your take? Oh, such a juicy one. So Tamara, how would you feel about pulling a card on this question? I would love to pull a card on this question. Also, I'm like, the ultimate question, is the ultimate question, like, does she go all in? Or does she keep it as a side business?
Like, I'm so curious what the ultimate question is as well around that, but, let's see, let's see what comes through with the card around the next moves and taking things to the next level. Ooh, we've got the two of cups.
, the two of cups is very relational, which kind of really speaks to what she was saying about, you know, like being the mother, being the partner, being the friend, and how can she show up fully, and I guess Maybe it's pouring into herself from that space first is going to give her the clarity to make that decision. You know, like the things that we're kind of like shelving is actually sometimes like the next step that we actually do need to take to get the answer that we need.
And I feel like it's the conversations that she's having and like so much. is coming up as a mirror for her, I think, to show her what the next moves are. But I also feel in that energy when I'm feeling into that, like, I do feel like a denial and a resistance. And maybe there is that limiting belief that it, doesn't get to be easy. It has to be an all or nothing thing. It can't be this beautiful balance and harmony of, like, an in between.
And maybe the first focus is making what she's doing as a her Main job like that like is it creative director and the side business like how does she bring them into harmony first?
To then make those next moves that the next move from there because I think It's so much easier to have clarity when there's harmony Because we're not coming from fear or a knee jerk response or we're not coming from the unconscious But how can she make things feel more harmonious for that clarity to come through rather than seeking it and struggling it to find it?
It's just like finding that peace in where she is and that acceptance and being curious to like what's coming up in her conversations and like what is like the feedback she's getting from around her rather than Trying to fight for an answer. I feel like harmony is a big theme, and a big piece of the puzzle. Like, that's what's missing, and that's what's gonna kind of, like, unlock this, harmony.
And I guess some people would say, you know, like, that life first and working backwards, like, what are those priorities, a bit like what Ellen was saying in the kind of advice for me, you know, like, what, working out what your priorities are, obviously, motherhood is a priority, that's not gonna be bottom of the list by any means, but what does that need to look like, and then putting those pieces in that are gonna then, like, expand on that rather than this pull to
kind of, like, do something drastic or something that feels very out of alignment to just get to where you want it to be. Again, coming back to what Ellen was saying about that sacrifice, you know, I've got to sacrifice to get what I want, I've got to sacrifice my relationship, I've got to sacrifice, like, being the mother that I want to be, like, how can it be, like, how can it be what you want it to be without feeling like you have to sacrifice?
I think, Yeah. And I feel like girl bosses and startup bros have got us really good, right? There's like, there's so much assumption in there that building a business a becomes all consuming that you lose all control of the timeline and timeframe. And I saw something great floating around the internet, which was Oh, if I ran a billion dollar business and I didn't want anyone to compete with me, I would tell everyone that the secret to success was like getting up at 4am and like working till 3am.
And I just love that so much because I think. That in startup culture there is so much kind of bravado around working really hard and really long and that's actually so counterintuitive to what we know. Like if we really think about times where things have been really successful or have felt in flow or have just come with ease and I've definitely had to do a lot of work around. It has to be hard. there's so much in this question about, it has to be hard.
And going to consume all of these things that are really important to me. And it, that just doesn't have to be true. Like, I'm sure there's a scenario where it is, but it just doesn't have to be. All right, what have you got for our manifesto, Mads? remember the word you used tomorrow, but I felt that in my body when you, I don't know if you talked about it being like a denial or a defensiveness or just this like, Yeah, denial, denial and resistance for the words. put thank you.
pin in Ellen has this amazing ability to recall exactly what she said tomorrow. And I were like, sorry, you'll have to recall for yourself. and also you made this beautiful point about what feedback are you getting? And so I think what can also happen for a manifestos, right? So manifestos traditionally in, like, the evolution of humanity were the leaders, so they were the ones that people that looked up to, to have to Carry the responsibility of like, what world are we building?
What vision are we, are we putting out into the world? And so actually, like, I think what happens, or they kind of talk about to like modern manifestos can kind of get in this state where they just want to be like left alone. And so I can totally feel into this for the client that it's like, Oh, I can see how big and beautiful that would be. I can bet on this cause I can see the visions and I can imagine it and it feels amazing. And it's inspiring and it's like, let's go.
But if you're still carrying that kind of limiting belief that if it gets so big, it's going to be such a burden because then people are going to want so much from me. That could be really feeling feeding into the resistance. So when we're looking at, is it just a core? Belief that maybe I don't want it. It's like using Ellen's question all the time that she throws at me. What, what if it was easy? Like if it was easy and that wasn't going to be an issue, would you want it?
Because if you would, I'm like fucking go for it. Because actually when it comes to being a manifestor and you and your alignment and having this energy, right, which is. You have urges, you go off to something and then you retreat. So actually, if you think about like this, this vision, if you're in your alignment, it's going to allow you to be working like that energetically speaking, because that's you and your flow, like.
If you only get a certain amount of energy, which vision do you actually want to build out? And I know I love what you said tomorrow about harmonizing them because actually they go hand in hand and they're super beautiful. And right now, maybe that is such a disconnect that it's like this or that. Whereas actually like this toolkit you have is so rich. So what happens when they are combined? But the other thing I wanted to say is that this manifesto her key environment is markets.
And so if you think about markets as a notion, it's like traditionally where we would come together to trade, to sell, to share stories, to meet up like the local community. So the workplace environment. For people with markets is so, so, so important. It literally it's where they come to life and it's going to fuel that energy. So that's another thing right now.
It might be feeling like you can't have it all, or that is like, if I go all in on this thing, I'm going to be even more exhausted or I'm going to have to give too much, but it's this notion that if your marketplace, your environment, your lifestyle is more aligned with what you genuinely want to create and the vision you want for the world, like your world, then it. In turn, we'll be more energizing in turn. We'll make your life richer in turn. We'll more of the good stuff.
So when we're managing the fear based stuff, it's just considering actually right now, am I looking at it based on my reality? That is a me out of alignment anyway. Or is it because like, no, I need to go inwards. I need to shut out the external noise and the feedback that saying, yes, this product's great. All this business is great. All this service is great. And I need to shut that off right now because I need to listen to my own intuition.
And I, I do think when you start asking yourself those questions, you kind of can feel into the answer and you'll be guided into what step you need to take to, to tune in. Even just like coming back to like, what would her ideal day be? Like, what does that look like? Rather than like getting kind of tangled up in the, like, but I don't want this to happen. And those fears and the worst case scenario, like , what would the ideal situation look like, like an ideal day in?
Her life with her business and her side business and her feeling good in that and, like, having that time for her friends and to be the mother that she wants to be and for the friends and just, have a little time just feeling into that, I think would be really beautiful. I'm also really curious about the energy in the full time job.
And what is coming through to me is whether or not the job, the employer, the boss is making her feel like the side business is a competitor or a detraction and great leaders should think of you as a whole human being who wants to like best for you in your higher good whether it's working in their Organization or not now like having spent a lot of time in corporate Australia very few people Think demonstrate that or capable of that, but it's kind of curious like if If the full time
job isn't energetically matching that, it's not necessarily like, okay, we'll go in all in on the side business, but you can also change full time jobs. Do you want a little bit of spice to, that response? it on the record? It's on the record that this is the full time work is also her business. clients. So yes, there's like interactions that could like be energy leaks or, you know, sometimes with, sometimes with clients, we, I think when we have our own business, we really have to watch that.
We haven't made them our boss. I don't know if you guys feel that. my harshest ever boss has been me. Yes, exactly. worst, the worst that's been me. So that's like, so fascinating to go. What's the energy in that? yeah, maybe she's being two different bosses. One boss in her full time director work and then a different type of boss. In her side business.
even what you just described to Ellen and I about the momentum and the stagnation in the podcast and how funny to try and compartmentalize when actually, why not bring all of your strengths to everything you love? Because it's the same concept, especially in human design with alignment that like, of course, the thing that makes you sore over here is going to bring the same results over there. Thank you so much Tamara. It was so amazing to have you with us. Thanks for having me. You're welcome.
We normally pull a moon card, like we normally hear from the universe, but this time we're going to just ask you, I love that you do a lucky dip too, we're going to ask you like what the listeners need to know having listened to this. So we've got, we've gone from that two of cups to the ace of cups, it's just this like permission slip to like feel into your desire and the things that you want to do and your creativity and your intuition. And like, let it be simple. That's what I mean.
Like, let it be simple. Like again, Ellen's advice. Like if it was easy and it was simple, like, how would you be doing it? Because I think that so many people are either sitting on something that they want to take action on, or that confusion of like, oh, but what, you know, what is it? Like, what is that? What do I need?
And actually just coming back into a sense of harmony within ourselves and our situation, and that could be like a form of acceptance or tweaks that need to be made around like, things can be more harmonious for us. But I do feel like it's coming back into relationship with ourselves and then that, then defining how we relate to the world around us and show up for the things that we want to create and bring into, bring into reality.
But I do feel like it's a kind of Exhale and like just come back to yourself, babe. Come back to yourself. Like what do you need? What do you want? Like just really just keep it like that simplicity and then like letting the past reveal itself rather than coming back to like the listener question of like, always feel like we're struggling To get the answer or again, maybe there's this backstory that it's a struggle to get the answer, but often the answers are so clear and they're so obvious.
But I think Matt said it as well, like this, like going where the energy is. And again, like where we feel at peace within ourself , is the clue that we're looking for? I love that you said peace as well, because for a manifesto, their sign of alignment is peace, and that's going to feel so different to us as generators. Of course, we can be at peace, but it's not going to hit the way our satisfaction hits.
especially when you have You know, readings like you've just done for us, or you listen to podcasts that propose that question. What's the 1st thing that you felt in your body or like the 1st thing that popped into your head? Like, that's how we get more in touch with our intuition or our cosmic ways or our psychic abilities. We just don't overthink. we take the response. So I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Thank you.
Any final notes, any final words from anyone before we wrap it up? No, I want to be on your podcast all the time. it's very fun. Okay, well, thank you so much for being here. I love you both very much. I'm very grateful to you both and talk to you both later. Okay. Thank you.