Hello, and welcome to I'll Ask My Sister, the advice podcast where the cosmic meets the corporate. I'm Ellen Hooper, an executive coach, and I'm joined by my sister, Mads Williams, a human design coach. And we. Uh, Getting frustrated with frustrated generators. Wondering where we're going? Yes, we are, baby. it's funny isn't it, how much we get swept up by like incredibly arbitrary scheduling and like, that is no judgment. I fucking love a schedule as you know.
but, um, it is kind of crazy, isn't it? Collectively how we all do that. Yeah, it's a real shame we haven't just accepted that every single day you get to decide whether you're going to follow through on your commitment or not. That would honestly put the world in a very different place and I maintain things would still get done, maybe more stuff. lesson's hitting hard because I was like, can we reschedule? And I was like, sorry, I already got dressed.
There And now we have tech issues, so we go. There we go. Have you had a cosmic or a corporate week, my frustrated friend? , all I can talk to is the last 24 hours, which have been very Is that your week now? No, I just had a bad week last week. So I don't want to talk about it. Um, and I had a reading last night that whatever I'll get over myself in a second guys, I promise, but yeah, I had a reading last night with my friend Alex, who is just so amazing at her intuitive psychic readings.
And I have them every kind of six months or when I feel called to one. And it was just, it was a big one. I don't actually think we've ever had a session quite that intense. Really like family stuff, like. Personal critic stuff, it just felt like, Oh shit. We're upping the ante. Like you said that to me the other day, Ellen, like, if you want to sell them those many programs where you want this many listeners, like, have you grown into the person that can hold that reality?
And it felt a bit like that in this reading, like, Oh shit, I definitely didn't say that, that was, that's, it's a great interpretation of what I said. I feel like you've made me seem wiser. Then I What did you mean then? I just think I was like way more tactical about it. do you have marketing to get to more people? But I like how you've translated that into something energetic, which makes actually more sense. I'm Anyway, I'm processing some healing. What about you?
Have you had a cosmic or a corporate week? just classically like, is that why you're mad at me? I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at Ellen. I am just a very frustrated person right now because my gut was like, go to bed and we have this commitment and this is, the challenge, this is something I love doing. I'm sure by the end I will have energy, but it's so challenging. I've said that word so many times, but it is when we're so plugged into that.
, a schedule outside of our own intuition and particularly if you have children, if you have a partner, if you live in a city like London where people are booking up their schedules like months in advance, it does really cut off our access to our intuition and we do not all have to live like this, but that is why I'm running off to the ocean with only knowing one friend and I will get back on my own schedule. But Cosmic or Corporate? I've had a very chill week.
I had a four hour haircut which was great. lots of clients keep cancelling, and I have just been watching TV when they do that. I've ordered my sauna, finally. Is this the first time you're mentioning that on the podcast? Do people know. that about you? so I have an infrared sauna coming. I've had to like sell a bunch of furniture to make space for it.
I've had to disassemble and reassemble a desk and obviously get someone to help me with that because of my lack of any skills of anything that's of use. And yeah, That's a bit harsh. well, like I can't really do any practical things. Just know, because based on my, what I know about myself and also my Berkman results, which I use for career coaching and helping people find careers that are well suited to them. That it's just, it's not for me.
Like I have like an incredibly low technical score and a very low outdoor score and a very low science score. So it's like, I don't care why things are made or how they're made or how they fit together. like getting my jacket stuck on a door handle can fill me with the most intense rage.
Yeah, it's interesting because I have quite a technical score and this is what's so cool about the Berkman because You could read that and assume all sorts of things, but then it makes a lot of sense why I like love the human design chart or, you know, like granular there. But then also that I'm not interested I'm not going to be technical. I'm not a perfectionist. Like you really do just want to apply any of these skill based or. Personality based tests, I guess, or tools to your interests.
That's the kicker. I think people miss that when they're trying to rediscover who they are, when they're feeling a bit lost, like the actual missing key of how you take any of this knowledge and use it towards building a better life, a life that you like, a life that on most days, I'm not frustrated by is that you apply it to, yeah, like what are the intricate things Interests that like swirl around you.
Yeah, you've got to apply it to yourself because no one, no one knows but you how that kind of all fits together. Do you have a question for your sister? Yes, I do have a question for you. So I'm currently doing an authenticity challenge, because it's this idea that if you are genuinely authentic, and I know that word gets thrown around authentic and alignment, but if you genuinely are true to yourself, that is the most magnetic thing you can do. which is really hard by the way. not that easy.
Yeah, exactly. here, in the process, you get asked a series of questions. And one of them is what are the hobbies, activities, or games that you loved doing? As a child, and I was curious what your answer would be. That is so interesting because I bloody love a board game. Everyone's so shocked about how cool I am, again. But um, Pub Choir was really great, by the way. That you made fun of me for going too. It was so fun. Um, beauty of recording our life.
I have actual evidence of Ellen's take on my judgment that doesn't exist anymore. This is what I remember you saying, and it may not have made the edit, but you said I was going to make fun of you about that, but I didn't. Thank you, May Lee, our editor for getting rid of that. And so now you think that you were so supportive about it. I'm so supportive. Um, the best. So when we were kids, I remember playing board games a lot with you. I was also really into ancient Egypt.
And I also was obviously into collecting gemstones. Oh yeah. You said that recently and I do not really remember that, but I, love I actually think cause you and mom both have collector play personalities. You love collecting things and not really my thing. But often I think if I showed an interest in something, then like mum's love language would be like to turn it into a collection.
So I was definitely very interested in rocks and gemstones, but collecting them was like, Not the thing that, gave me joy. So, yeah. There we go. And music. I used to do music five mornings a week. Yeah. And you know what's sad about that for me is that I Mm-Hmm? to high school. And I think I just took on that personality that was also me. And now that I'm older, I'm like, Oh, I wish I had put that towards. Dancing, Oh yeah, it's, it's fine. It's just Okay. Sorry. I no, not you. it's fine.
I didn't know you know, I obviously saw you love something or saw like, I thought it was cool, but it's just as an adult, when I, do lots of this kinds of reflection that I realize where I, was like influenced.
Yeah. And it's a great reflection for me as a parent because the logistics of your kids doing the same thing, it's just, there's like a real ease in that, , and I can definitely see myself nudging my children into the same kind of co curricular activities because is really hard, talking to small children about what they're actually interested in. Sometimes my kids have a lot of stress around making a kind of decision like that. And, there's also lots that's unknown for them, right?
The experience of it. I do think that's like part of growing up as well, is actually working out what you like. And sometimes that's That has to be through experimenting. Yeah, definitely. And also it's that thing like buried treasure in the backyard. Like you're never too old to rediscover or reintegrate it. And like, it's, you get the same hit. Sometimes it's even bigger if you've gone without it. So, like I have a lot of clients that are like, Oh, I wish I'd known about human design before.
It's like, don't worry, that's gone, but we know about it now. On that note, have you got a question for your sister? I do, but I just wanted to say one more thing about that. like, sometimes we need to learn the lesson one last time, or we need to learn the lesson hard for it to stick. because I, my read on that is I wish I knew about this tool earlier is kind of got this sense of, I could have avoided some sort of, you Discomfort or pain or suffering. I don't know.
I'm not really in everything happens for a reason person, but I also find that,, we have like patterns that repeat themselves. , and sometimes The really hard experience will be the one that actually gives you like the fortitude to go. I'm not going to do that again. Like maybe recording this podcast episode that you hate so much right now. That will be the like lesson for I just have this feeling like it's not going to run. Do you know what I mean?
Where you're like, I just feel like it's not working, but yeah, it's interesting. Cause I am definitely in the, everything happens for a reason and the like comic. Like we've almost like your soul signed up for this contract and who knows how it will play out, but there are certain beats that need to be hit, take it or leave it.
That's how I, when I'm not on air, choose to walk around, not having to express, The other side of that kind of karmic perspective again, which is like very, I think people are very happy to poo poo that is Carl Jung's take on it. And he has that very, very, very famous quote about before we make the unconscious conscious, we walk around and call it fate.
So what you're talking about with the patterns repeating, it's like, actually, this is our unconscious beliefs are like deep in our psyche, our limiting beliefs. So often we're kind of attracting in this pattern because it. We do need the discomfort, like you said, to break it. And that's why I love the TB magnetic work. Cause it's actually a tool you can do at home to dig into that stuff that is running your life without us being super conscious of it.
And My friend posted something the other day, actually, it was, if you're not changing it, you're choosing it, which is like, maybe a bit too extreme, but That's where I see the dance between this like free will and this karma where it's like you were, I think we've talked about it before, but like, you have this free will and you're like plodding along, but there are certain things where if you're like, really not paying attention, it's almost like that's when something
sweeps in like, Oh, here's the rug pull, here's the breakup, here's the course. Correct. And again, like, this is kind of just from my personal experience.
So I really like being able to have these talks on the podcast because it gets to this point where it's like, who cares if that's how I see the world, it's not really, well, maybe it is hurting people because I'm, we have an audience that is outside of just you and me, but I think it makes me a better, more conscious person, and I do not try and push it on people, but it does inform how I choose to live.
Yeah, and I think the person that I've heard speak about it in a way that resonates most with me is Kate Northrup, and she does a really good job of kind of putting out of saying yes, systems of inequality and oppression exist and we get to choose kind of what we do with the hand that we've been dealt.
And I really like those two things together, because I think the reason that people bristle about that kind of karma or idea is it's like, are you saying that people, are the masters of their own downfall of their own oppression? And I don't think that is what you believe or are saying, but that's, where like some, like intellectually we can take it. like it's very Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Like we can focus on self actualization because. we're not in, danger of dying right now.
that is actually such a good point. Like my privileged position means I get to see life like that because it's quite a high expression. It's like in quite a high quote unquote surrendered expression of like, Oh yes, I'm safe and it will all be all right because everything happens for a reason. So yeah, absolutely. But I, I'm just thinking about this. You sent me this amazing thread about Steve jobs going and living in India and essentially having no funds and living in abandoned buildings and.
Learning to live with people in immense poverty, or maybe not learning to live, but existing around and him ascribing so much of his business acumen down to the fact that he actually got so in touch with his intuition. So I do have I really want to just preface, like I have no real evidence. I haven't been to India.
Even though that is where our dad is from and we absolutely should, but I also do think there is this in some of the probably poorest places you can find the most content people It's like playing with the idea of surrender, right? Or acceptance versus also what we get really stuck on in this like ambitious, hungry, I need more, more, more culture that actually puts us out of the fact that we have all our needs met and we are so lucky and we often miss that.
And so I do think that everything happens for a reason is like weirdly trying to get us back to that like baseline to then absorb the good that is there on like a shitty day. Yeah. I think that makes a lot of sense. but I think the thing that the cosmic thinking. gets criticized for is like living in its own little bubble and.
it's interesting just because we don't talk about every issue that we think about in this, like, 30 minutes or 40 minutes that we spend in your ears doesn't mean that we don't. Like, think about them. And I think that's the only thing that it's worth watching out for that kind of spiritual bypassing idea of like, just really staying in like a little bubble because it's easier to. Yeah, I think I'm a bit torn on that. And it's probably just not worth trying to talk it out on the pod.
Cause also it's like quite literally not my design to have Opinions about it. yeah, cause I can see both sides. Like I can see how we can get really consumed with the pain and not Take care of our neighbor, but then also we can be so in like up our own ass that we aren't aware and considerate and conscious of our privilege. So, I guess, like, yeah, I find it really hard to have, like, an intellectual or binary response to that. And I do think it comes back to, like, checking your integrity.
And like, what do you feel proud of yourself with or comfortable with yourself with and I do think if we weren't so afraid. You know, like anything, I, again, I've said it before, but anything that's like coming from like guilt or shame, that's not contributing to the, the word we want either. So coming back to you and checking in with that and what's your contribution in that way. Yeah. Awesome. So in summary, board games and world peace, my childhood interests.
I have no idea how we got there, but do you have a question for your sister? Oh my God, this is going to sound so stupid now. Go on. I'm ready. Okay. So Something pretty cool happened to us a couple of weeks ago and I feel like we just were like, Thank you, next. And I wanted to check in how you feel about it. So we were actually featured in one of Australia's like biggest women's media publications, Mama Mia, a couple of weeks ago.
By our gorgeous friend, Alex Nicholson, who's an editor and writer there. And she wrote this great article called, Why Everyone Is A Bit Woo Woo Right Now. And I was wondering how, like, how do you feel about that? First media. I feel similarly to, I feel about having a conversation with you about poverty and world peace. Like in that article, I think I talk about the pandemic and I'm like, why did you do that? This is not your fourth day. But other than that.
Yeah, it was really fun to be featured alongside each other. That was probably more of the highlight. They're like back and forth. There will be people out there who have been thinking about wanting to get media for years. And it is so funny that your first piece of media is in Mama Mia. Is The holy grail, the holy grail This is another example of the bubble I live in and, I feel good about that.
Like even we have a beautiful PR person we've done some work with and she has this amazing list she's compiled of potential guests. And I barely know anyone and I don't really want to like go looking like I find it keeps me really in check with like what's right for me. And not like going after things from ego. And I wonder if that's like a little bit of a hangover from when I was so lost career wise. And I thought being a visual merchandiser from ESOP was going to solve my problems.
Like sometimes I'm a bit defiant about like being in the cool space. I don't know, not even just about the guests. It's just like, I don't think I chase things after. Yeah. Like who's the cool kid or what reputation do they have? Like in my experience that has never served me well. , so.
I feel like you being excited about media is probably similar, when I was at uni, I was obsessed with broadsheet, which for anyone that's not in Australia, it was kind of like a cultural hub for like where to eat, where to shop. Like it was really design focused and it was like my dream to be featured in broadsheet for like, it literally would make no sense, but just cause I loved it. So yeah, I guess, I'm a foodie at heart, even though I eat like nothing now.
you have to expand on that because you don't eat nothing. You just eat the same thing over and over again. Sorry. I absolutely eat food, but I'm currently on this like really, like really, questionable repetition. Actually, that came up in my psychic reading last night. It was the first thing she talked about, which was kind of amazing. She was like, you are scared. To eat beyond what you know is safe because you do not want to return to a state of discomfort.
And I was like, Oh my God, that is the metaphor for so much in my life. And I hadn't realized how much I'm in that space right now. Like I'm really uncomfortable. I don't know if people will be picking up on that, but this happens usually when I. About to change in a big way.
And so I'm moving out of London and, like I used to put them down to like eating the wrong thing, but not necessarily that often when you're a generator and you have got issues, it's because something else is really drastically wrong. And you know, we've talked a lot about the relationship I was in and like was with a really beautiful human, but it just, It wasn't serving us like my life wasn't serving me.
I think I have this real fear of returning back to a place where I didn't feel connected to myself. But also as we were talking about in this session, like that's also fear and lack and that's not living either. So, um, I do eat. I just am eating. Safe food. But how do you feel about Mama Mia? What a random episode. Yeah, I think it was really fun, but I do think it's I have a thing that I consciously or logically know, and I find it really, really difficult. And that is.
I just step over like milestones like that. I find it really hard to celebrate things. And it reminds me of I don't know who said this. It wasn't me. Maybe you'll know mads. You don't do the work on your trauma to like hold sadness, you do it so you can feel joy Well, it's the same concept. Yeah. We're not like focused. We're not obsessed with healing to heal. It's like to live.
yeah, don't want to make that sound like I can't feel joy at all, but there's something really specific about someone like me who's so motivated by achievement, achieving something, but I really have this block about being able to experience the joy, which is weird, like, then why is it so, you know, Alluring. Do you know what's really interesting? And I say this with. All the love in the world. I really hope I don't offend you, but I've been feeling a bit like lost and stuck.
So my default has been coming to you and you actually give great work advice. It's like Ellen gives. Obviously you give great work advice, but sometimes it can spin me out of my center because Ellen has like a very strong chart and I have a very open chart. So I actually find it easier to tap. I think most people would, but cause I'm so open.
Coming back to like clearing my aura and doing meditations where I'm like really in touch with my intuition is really crucial, but I think because we do this project together now, this work together we are just like chatting more about our approaches to life and because I'm doing this authenticity challenge, like, it came through really strongly on my meditation yesterday that. Achievement is not my goal. It like never has. It's never been mine. So it's quite nice, like clear from that.
But in the last 24 hours, I have two iterations of it. So it started with, I choose joy over achievement. I can achieve through joy. How beautiful is that? And then today I kind of, the alternative is I choose authenticity over achievement. I achieve through authenticity. So if anyone wants to borrow those, they are there for you, Mmm. and you know what? Talking about authenticity and we're just talking about, choosing or getting the right guests on the pod.
And I guess that is what we're looking for. We're actually looking for people who would actually enjoy it. So let's get some listener help. If you're listening right now, and you have someone that you think would actually love to hang out with us on the pod can you like tag us and tag them on Instagram? on that note, shall we hear from our sponsor? Let's do it. Shall we hear from our listener? Yes, let's do it. So this question comes from a 2 4 projector from Melbourne.
And she has a question about navigating work. And baby's my favorite questions. The question reads, I returned to work full time after my first First child when she was eight months and moved into a new role in a 10 month contract. My boss has extremely high expectations for herself and I find myself taking this on.
we are planning for trying for a second child, but I'm also needing to think about applying for other permanent ongoing roles with maternity leave in the quest for balance of work and family life. When is it appropriate to share this planning with your employer and how do you approach this? Love you. Love your guys. Ladies, I'm not sure what I meant to say, but anyway, we appreciate you and we love you too. that's so funny. It's just stuck in my head.
Cause we have been, we love the sisters and the misters, but we have been trying to think about what's how, like nice non binary in between words. So if anyone's got a suggestion, you can let us know. all right. we have so much going on here. We have the dilemma of trying to find a new job. We have the, how do I handle the work culture or like boss culture of my current position? And then we also have. what do my boundaries need to be?
What's the professionalism when it comes to trying conceiving falling pregnant? Awesome. I think when it comes to this kind of stuff, you really don't owe anyone anything and it's such an uncontrollable time of life and you really don't owe. Your employer like an extra month or extra transparency. I think you really need to get in touch with what's going to be most supportive for you. If you think your boss is going to be supportive, then great. Get the support.
It doesn't sound like they are a boss that can be trusted. And I think this insight into having extremely high expectations, the boss having extremely high expectations of herself that are then passed on to you. I could be wrong. You know this person better than I do, but that's someone who can easily think about the impact that your You know, long term plans have on the work instead of on you as a person. And yeah, it's kind of that idea that like, you don't.
Oh, anyone your piece, so If you don't feel very confident that sharing that information with your boss is going to make your life better, then I wouldn't like it's information you can't really take back. And like information that's yours and you get to decide how you want to do that. Ellen's background is actually in this.
People and culture, so I don't know, I think we can often assume that the people who are going to be inconvenienced by news of pregnancy or change or quitting or whatever are going to be really disappointed, but I love when Ellen puts this like hat on of like, you don't owe this to people because it reminds you like your life comes first, Yes, because like I want you to really think about a piece of work you're working on three years ago that you thought was really important or that
you found really stressful or, can you remember it? Does it really matter to you now? Would you have delayed meeting your first born for two months for that piece of work? Like, I think it's really important to put work into perspective. Also, I think a lot of us think, oh, if I don't tell them earlier, if I don't tell them my plans, I can't. They're going to be mad at me or upset with me or think I haven't been transparent. And that is great because that is a red flag for a boss.
Who's not going to be good with this information. I work with a lot of different small businesses where someone, you know, someone taking time off is, it's genuinely impactful on the business. And all those leaders I work with, it's not that they don't feel any sense of uncertainty or stress about having this employee that's going to go away and come back. Okay. And they are always happy and supportive of that human being, because it's just part of life.
like, maybe it's inconvenient and your boss might feel worried or stressed about replacing you or whatever that is, but like you need to, Tell them your plan so that they're not mad with you. It's like, that's a person who's probably not going to be very easy to deal with as you navigate this uncertainty. Cause like this stuff can be really fast or really long. have challenges. You know, Yeah. So It's all about what feels really good to you.
I want to come back to the ongoing job, but what's the projector overlay for kind of like sensing into that? I just want to say one thing I've definitely talked about before, but it was very much my experience with Problematic bosses or bosses where there's like, feels like a real power play or just like tension has that shown up with either of your parents. Like, I don't know if that's universal, but like often for me, it's been working through wounding that actually.
Was often a projection from my childhood. Like I wouldn't actually say that's my reality now, but kind of through it coming up at work a lot, I was like, wait a minute, why am I attracting this in? how can I cut that cord in work situations? And then also look at healing that dynamic privately. Can I just add something in there? Cause I saw something recently, which I haven't fact checked.
I don't know if it's research based, but it's this idea that abusive relationships can be addictive and therefore hard to leave. And I think I wanted to hold those two things together. So the first is research by the UKG group that your boss will impact your mental and physical health more than your doctor or your therapist and the same amount as a spouse or partner. So, Bosses have huge impact on your wellbeing. So there's something about, should you look for permanent ongoing jobs?
, yes, because of the parental leave, but also, that high expectation for herself that impacts you. Like, it would be great if you could set really strong boundaries and break that pattern, but it's pretty hard. It seems pretty unlikely, we can get very stuck with bosses like that because we can feel really.
Attached to them or attached to like, no, no, I should be able to, if I can just set that boundary harder, or if I can just prove to her that I'm good enough, or if I can do something in this relationship, like it'll change it. that's someone who needs to do some work on themselves and possibly hasn't demonstrated a willingness to do so. have you experienced or felt like bosses have mirrored parental dynamics for you?
I think for me, it's more like a pattern about outsourcing my self to authority rather than necessarily a boss mirroring, like a parental interaction. It's just kind of that theme of like, other people know better than me about me. same, someone else outside of myself. down. And that is why in human design, our intuition is called authority, right? Because it literally has authority over everything in your life. And that's the biggest.
Gable you're going to take, like trusting it, trying it out, but it's kind of, in my experience, the one that works. So this listener is a very, very open projector. She only has two energy centers defined, so she's absolutely going to be picking up just like all the things around her, quite sensitive to environment. Quite sensitive to emotions, sensitive to people's perspectives, but more than that, she has this undefined route and route. The route is a pressure center.
So it's really about like, for her, she will most likely be over amplifying the stress of deadlines and we've got to get it done. And this, like, the weight of expectation that can come, , can really lead to adrenal fatigue.
So the other thing I say, and like, this is like me speaking in this like almost perfect world where, it's easy to get another job, but argue actually like , if it's a stressful environment with a perfectionist boss or a really like high achieving boss, and that root or adrenal system is in overdrive as a projector, it's actually putting her body at quite a disadvantage to try and conceive because the projectors need. So much rest regardless or anyway, I should say.
So then if she's like in this environment where she's really like running off other people's sacred energy and other people's pressure, then I would even argue just as like a self care before trying or as you're trying, like really double down on the, like, emptying out of people's, Battery life and people's stress and I know that sounds so , yeah, of course, Mads, whatever, but I have this cosmic community running at the moment and only two of us in this cosmic community have
our route defined and I'd never really unpacked it with other people, but the other people in the group were explaining to me that they can go home after this, like supercharged day of work and actually feel like where the root chakra is in your body. So like super low down in your pelvis, almost like back, like tailbone. They can feel it literally pulsating, like it has absorbed and picked up on other people's stuff.
And this is why I find the practice of human design so fascinating because I do not have access to that. I'm, I have my own. Buffer there, whereas someone who has that is probably gonna be like, Oh yeah, I thought that was normal. Or I can totally tap into that sensation or I know what you're talking about. So it's all this stuff. When we start getting more conscious of our body and how it relates to the mechanics of our human design, we can literally use our chart. I'm a super visual learner.
That's why I'm like, go look at your alien chart. And even if you do not understand what any of that stuff means, you can kind of see where it falls on your body and where you might like be absorbing the concepts. where are you overthinking? Cause you've absorbed something. If it's why at the top with your head is where does your throat hurt because it's white and you do not need to talk. Where is your like bottom root chakra? Like. Literally pulsating because you've absorbed.
And if you go on to cosmic gifts and download the free guide to get your design, you will, when you see your chart, Ellen's laughing, cause she's taking me so long to like actually refer back to I know, but the website, askmysisterpod. com it's just that Mads always misses the first step of, like, getting away. It's just so obvious they'll get it. So when you hover over the shapes, it'll literally come up with what that represents. So that crown inspiration, Arjuna ideas, throat communication.
if it is wide, it is open. Therefore you you have the potential to magnify the world around you. Therefore you can also take on more conditioning. You can be thrown off your center more. So I'm just saying all this, like as a go and have a look at the themes for where you might be. Amplifying things that aren't yours.
But for this particular listener, like right now, imagining all that stuff that you're absorbing throughout the day, being washed away when you get home, whether it's like lying on your bed, visualizing it, emptying out, having the shower, going for a walk, whatever your thing is jumping in the ocean, like we really want you coming back to your base, which is truly knowing who you are, because you have a really strong identity center and being motivated. Buy the things you fucking want.
And that is so hard for our culture because we have this notion that like well you can't just have what you want. Or like those who want don't get or whatever those sayings are. Or we have to justify what we want so regularly, whereas this listener is an ego. Projector. So literally like I want it, like it's mine. That energy is what is your authority to show you what to go after.
So when it comes to this next stage of work life, like literally let yourself be a little child about what do I want and get excited about it because her main gift is all about this childhood innocence. So even just like getting like literally like Christmas, what's on your wish and allowing yourself to. Dream a bit there to And I think, why not let yourself be supported during this time? And it sounds like an ongoing role is going to support you financially.
And a boss who's more chill is going to support you. Emotionally, and I'm curious about what's holding you back from just going down that path I don't think that you need to tell the people you're working with that you're looking at changing jobs until you've secured a new role. I think that's really fair. Because if I'm your leader, and I've led lots of people, and you're looking for other things, and there's something that I could do differently.
Or there's something that we could give you as a company that was within my control. I'd want to know so I could do that. But if you're looking for different jobs, because fundamentally, you and I are not a great leader fit. And it's going to be really hard for me to give you what you need. What's the benefit of me having that information?
And I think if you do have a boss who's like, upset that, you resign and you're worried about how they're going to treat you during that kind of notice period, they don't deserve to have you stay. They just don't deserve it. So, I just wanted to give one practical tip, which is about interviewing new bosses, And look, it's, a guessing game, but these are my two tips for if you're going through an interview process.
I really want you to ask the person who's going to be your leader, not what kind of leader are you? Cause then we all say the like kind and supportive and like that kind of thing. I want you to ask them when a relationship between you and your direct report is going really well, what kind of things are happening? Because that's going to tap into their kind of preferences for what they think a good working relationship is like, and then you can test out if that's Works for you or not. love it.
Okay, should we hear from the moon? Yes, let's do it. we've got the last card in the book. North node, step out of your comfort zone. the attune to the moon is I know I'm headed in the right direction. There's a strong feeling when you get this card that it's time to leave the past behind somehow because you are headed in the right direction. If you want to be happy and fulfilled, you need to get going towards the thing that scares you within reason.
This card is all about living your life purpose, which is possibly what you've asked about. It's urging you to dare to do something different with your life and your direction, to take action. So are you willing to follow through and lead the life you incarnated to live? If you finally find the courage to make the leap, there's a good chance you'll come to ask yourself, why did I wait so long?
You said something that Reminded me of the episode when we were talking about me moving to the beach and then you kept talking and I was like, oh It doesn't need to be said it really like you reading that north node Resonated so much with that time. Cause we were laughing about this idea of why wouldn't you leave London? Like If you are finding it hard financially, you're not really enjoying it from a fulfillment level.
And there's something you're craving more, which is generally ocean and freedom and a new experience, like what's holding you back. And I think it's this notion again, with this ego of I just wanted, like, sometimes we actually find it quite hard just to go after the things we want and it's okay. , that's the human drama we throw into the mix.
And so sometimes when we have problematic bosses or just how we're like, so fatigued by all it's kind of what I'm saying about, not necessarily the addiction, but it's our default now to be in the drama of it. So I love this, that. It's saying, like, let's do it. Let's break the pattern. Let's go after what we want. But I guess I'm saying that, like, again, I can't quite remember how many weeks ago that was. I think it was after I got back from Greece, which was probably August ish.
And then what's that August, September, October, November. It's taken me like three and a half months to like, catch up to that knowledge. So go on your human journey, knowing it's kind of coming and you're, you're on it. Like sometimes I think even just like asking these kinds of questions is us laying the groundwork for the change. Okay. Well, thanks for persevering. You're welcome. hopefully some of this works. love you too. I'll talk to you later. Okay.