hello, and welcome to I'll ask my sister, the advice podcast where the cosmic meets the corporate. I'm Ellen Hooper and executive coach joining you from Melbourne. And I'm joined by my sister, Mads Williams, a human design coach joining you from London. We've just had like a rollercoaster of emotions, free recording. I also love the like chat show element of that new edition, but my immediate reaction was like, Oh no, does that mean I'm not allowed to leave London? I suddenly felt so trapped.
from wherever you want. Thank you. Currently from my bedroom. not true. That's a lie. You are in your bedroom, aren't you? You're Well, my spare bedroom. in the second room. You're in the tiny room that's so tiny that you can't sublet it. Yeah, that's my excuse. And I'm going with it. do it. Have you had a cosmic week or a corporate week? well, it's been a week. I had all the intentions in the world to have a super corporate week, but as you know, I got ditched by a business coach.
I really wanted to work with, do you want to tell us a bit more about that? Yeah, so he's someone I'd heard on a couple of podcasts, and I hadn't done that much investigating into how he works. I just kind of thought, oh, cool, you'll solve all my problems. Because I like admired who he'd worked with. And that was kind of enough for me. Anyway, on the day of the session, I got this email where he was explaining that to work with you, he taps into your Akashic records.
And they are essentially like people, I guess, Psychics work with the, well, you know, people are tapping into it or channeling from it. And it's this soul library and whether that's past life, future, present, I don't really know. Naturally, I have booked a session with someone else this week because now I'm really curious, but he kind of said in this rejection email that he couldn't access my records for whatever reason. And often it's like my soul being like you can't come in here.
And that was a blow because like I said, I wanted him to solve all my problems, but after too, because like, didn't your soul reject him? totally cause you know, I do so much like I'm just, sorry, for the corporates, I'm just trying to keep up like you guys, like, what is happening? Well, my human.
Self felt so rejected because it did feel like, Oh, he's like, just not that into me because he has worked with some really impressive people and I guess I went to see him from my wounding, like my corporate wound, my corporately challenged, like, will I ever be this like big bad ass business woman so like, when it was like, Oh no, we're not compatible, it was like, Oh, I'm not going to build the empire. And then when that kind of dropped.
I was able to go like, do I even want to build the empire? Like, am I even motivated by all those things? And it's just really fun because obviously this is what I do for work. I like live and breathe human design. I'm pretty in line with what I'm drawn to and what I'm not, but I still have had, or maybe have, this like long, Hangover of, everyone else seems to do it the sensible way. And I've never been sensible. So like, I truly, truly sought him out to like fill in the blanks there.
And because he was spiritual, I was like, okay, cool. He's going to understand me and also make me sensible. Pretty much in the whole, like, once I came back down to earth and was using like my mirror work to like chat to myself, I kind of like. Remembered like, Oh, my soul said no. So I was like, okay, so like, what do you want to do? And then in that kind of opening, I just feel like myself again. Like I have access to joy again. I felt like I was dancing more creativity has been flooding in.
I've been like engaging with London and going to events. And just like the momentum that I actually really crave has like kind of flooded in. I like. Use my body a lot as a metric for my flow. So like I've had quite a lot of stuck energy. I could just see it. My, my body will shift. And even that's kind of like suddenly, or like, moving a little, like, yeah, it's just so interesting how much, I guess I was being held by an outdated narrative I don't need anymore. So cosmic week then.
A very cosmic week. Anyway, there were lots of activities that I was going to tell you about, but I've now rambled for five minutes. So tell me about yours. Cosmic or corporate? Well, I have had the most cosmic and corporate week because I went to a conference. So the Institute of executive coaching and leadership summit, which sounds very corporate, but all of the coaches, like they are massive hippies. That is where all the hippies live. And yeah, it was awesome.
I spoke at that conference and I ran a workshop on. On holding people accountable in workplaces. I really thought you were going to say holding hands. It's so, yeah, it's, it's interesting that kind of idea about accountability. Cause it's not like it's the thing I'm interested in the most, but we get asked about it so much at the growth collective, the leadership development business Michelle and I run. And it's interesting because. If there are no boundaries, then everything's meaningless.
So if it doesn't matter, if you do a good job or a bad job, your work becomes kind of not meaningful. So in organizations, I think lots of leaders are scared to hold people accountable because they don't want to upset anyone. There are so many unintended impacts of not having kind of those guardrails in place. What's acceptable behavior. What does good look like? Quotas. what does it mean you've done a really good job? And often when we're doing a shit job, we're in the wrong place.
I was just trying to think that, like, can I apply that to other areas of my life or my work? But I think it's that But accountability shows up in coaching too, because you've got a client who wants, who comes and talks and talks and talks and then takes no action, once again, the coaching's meaningless, really. Oh, me an Adam Grant post, which I wasn't sure if it was for our community or directed at me around action. no, it was for our, I was like, we should put some corporate memes.
We should put some corporate memes amongst all of the like, spirit but the will is so funny. someone told me that this is like the least humblest of brags, but it made me so happy. Someone was like, I loved your presentation. You remind me of a young Brené Brown. And I was like, I may, I may die now. Like this is, my life is complete. my God. That's amazing. Congratulations. thank you so much. Oh, based on her quote. It's like, you're allowed to celebrate this. so good.
Yes. And it was so, it's so funny, like just the magic that drops in. So obviously also thrilled to be asked to speak at that event. And I was on day two. So the whole of day one is like chill. It's fine. Everyone here's cool. Like don't compare yourself to anyone. Like it's, you're different. It's fine.
we were like chatting on our tables in an activity and one of the corporate dudes at our table just dropped this amazing, he's like, yeah, I've heard this saying I really like, which is a river without banks is just a puddle. it. because it's too big. It's actually the ocean, but whatever. Um, but is that what you're then saying with your boundaries at work? Well, it was like, I was like, Oh, that's the whole metaphor for the keynote I'm doing tomorrow.
And so Laughter She'll let you know next week what she's found out puddles are fucking fun. You can jump in a puddle. I hope he wasn't shitting on the puddle. But it's not going anywhere, so Well, that's what I was told my whole life. I'm telling a story about me right now. I'm just explaining why I went and sought out that business coach. Okay. Okay. Sorry. No, thanks. Puddle. Got it.
But it was just that kind of universe delivery of like, Oh, that's going to be the first line of my keynote Oh, amazing. Was he there? Did he know you plagiarized? he wasn't there. I credited him, but yeah, talk to you about that where you're like, whoa, I really needed that. And you start hearing it from like multiple people in the same week. And you're like, okay, I see the theme. And that's how you know you're getting nudged from the universe.
So what I've been working on in kinesiology lately is trying to break addiction to stress and cortisol. So I was kind of like, can I show up on stage in a parasympathetic nervous state? System, which is like, no, but maybe one day.
so yeah, that's been kind of interesting I was talking to like my chinese herbal doctor and great friend dr Kirstie holland who if you're in menopause or perimenopause, you definitely need to go check out about how I don't have a toxic boss anymore and I work 30 hours, not 60 hours. And all of my clients are like, nice. Cause if they're not nice, I don't work with them anymore. And the causes of stress. I have stripped out, but I still fucking love feeling stressed.
It's just the thing that my body goes to. I am honestly so excited this has been recorded because like, this is huge. Even for you to acknowledge you're addicted. This is like, who cares about the Brene Brown compliment? Like this is worth celebrating. This is really big stuff. I'm so proud of you. Well, I think Brene would have come to a similar realization. I agree. Couldn't agree more. All right. Do you have a question for your sister? I do have a question for you.
it's kind of a two parter, classic. I wake up every morning, more or less, with a song in my head. So firstly, I want to know, does that happen to you too? And the second part was that I was connecting it to the Berkman signature report that you've done for me. And it breaks down based on a series of questions. Your interests. And my top interests at a really high rating are literature, or literacy. Music and they're all within the 90 percent bracket, passions.
their passions, And, are a bit more boring to me, but I'm curious. maybe you don't wake up with music, but you wake up thinking about admin. Like, I don't know. So go. I don't know. So. Do you actually? You wake up thinking about spreadsheets. I wake up and I'm like, what day is it? What do I have on today? Who's taking the kids to school? Oh, but that's just like, is that just adulting? she dig at you. That's a dig at me. Cause I wake up singing.
I don't listen, Do you wake up thinking what day it is? What do I have on today and who do I need to take to Does it feel pleasurable? Like, Ooh, scanning the calendar. Or does it feel like the addiction to stress? it just depends what I've got on. Okay. Um, ahead, which is most days but no music, no music. But when I, when I meditate and music comes through heaps, Oh, that's cool. like little song will be stuck in my head. with lyrics. Sorry, what? Sorry, I guess I'm Oh, like a real song.
It's not like, it's not a, it's not an Ellen original. Because one of my very dear friends really responds well to Louise Hayes practices and that's kind of creating affirmations and Louise Hayes used to recommend like sing them. Like if you're working on something that's kind of hard to chip away at, sing it. So she has these like amazing little catchphrases and songs.
I kind of wish I could drop one in like right now because I don't know them off by heart, but her housemates do, which is hilarious. It's Because she's obviously singing them. do you think that is what's happening with the music? like, do we think it's connected to the Berkman? Yes, because I think most people's interests are linked to their processing styles. And by the way, if anyone wants a Birkin reading, send me a DM. We'll um, hook you You should do one. Oh, I loved it so much.
it's at ellenhooper. com and it has a name. I think it's called the like, mini career. Because you know, this is my year to like, nail marketing. Oh yeah. if you've got a high literary literary or music score, you possibly process. in that way. And then the artistic's interesting because that's probably like a kinesthetic processing. Is that movement? yeah, like movement or maybe touching things or Hmm.
Well, even it's like you said, like with the puddle guy, like I will often, He's like the general manager of a backwoods shop, the puddle guy. whatever. It's like that man on He's never listening to this and we are fine. but I will. Often have music that's like, feels like it's communicating a message or I'll put it on and I'll be like, Oh, that's exactly how I feel. I want to move my body. So yeah, that's so just so goddamn cool. And it also kind of explains why I rinse and repeat a song.
Like I'll just literally have it going. Days until something's like cleared. Yeah. But actually, and it's so annoying that there's such little time in the day at the moment, that's kind of what's happened since I got dumped by the business coach. It's like back in touch with my, so I'm actually having, speaking of like earth angels, I'm having this experience where. I'm finding I'm much more open. And I was explaining it to you, like Hence the sneaky potential mushroom experience on the weekend.
that was already there, but like, you know, more or less stopped wearing a bra and like trying to be really surrendered and like when I was walking through London, it was feeling really noisy, like I didn't want my music in my ears. so I I took my AirPods out and people were kind of interacting with me and talking to me way more. And I was like, Whoa, this is nuts. This is cool.
And I told you it was like one of my intentions doing my sex course to have men run across the street to talk to me, which happened, which was very cool. But anyway what's happened is I love music so much that, I just want to listen to it all the time, but it's like time and place. And when I'm out, it's too distracting. And I was like overriding that because the songs were so good.
And both times I did that, people literally stopped me on the street to ask me questions, like annoying questions. And it was kind of like, okay, universe. I understand. I will take the music out. Thank you. But then what that means is now I can literally only have music when I'm at home and I'm at home a lot, but not enough. And it'll get to midnight and I'm like, I want to keep dancing. And it's a real problem. Anyway, I don't know if anyone else struggles with that.
It hasn't happened for ages. I think it happens in winter anyway. I just love dancing. It's the best. Funny. do you have a question for your sister? so when I got here this morning, I hadn't prepared a question for you. So I pulled a portal card. And the one I got is the end. Oh, And I was wondering, yeah, what needs to end? What needs to end in your life? Oh, for me. Oh, always, always, always boys fly into my head. And I'm like, what are you doing here?
So maybe one of those, but the next thing that came up was this thing in my body that I can trace back to about 2016 that I have been at. Uncovering lately as deep, deep grief. And it's really intense and it hurts me and it shows up in quite physical ways. And I think I'm ready to let go of that narrative. So I would like that to end. And I wasn't sure if I needed. Some assistance, like if I need to find a Reiki person, or I already have my gorgeous Vicky.
So maybe like, I can talk to her about working on that. And everyone knows my obsession with flower remedies. I really, really, really, really, really wanna move onto to the anti-aging beauty one. 'cause it feels really fun, but every time it comes to it, it's like, Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. There's something else knocking at the door. And when I went through kind of the catalog, I just really felt like, oh, I need to dip back into wholehearted, which is just a bummer. I thought I was done, but yeah.
This, this grief and like, I can't even. never done. We're never done. And it's not logical. Like, I literally can't attach it to any one thing, any one person. Like it's an amalgamation and perhaps it's past life. I have no idea. But is, it's like, it's very real in my body because I'm having like very real symptoms. What has to end for you? Oh, I don't know. Probably my obsession with stress. Mm hmm. Yeah. All right. Grief and stress. that feels pretty major and good actually.
two sides of the same coin. Yeah. Okay, should we hear from our sponsor? let's do it. Shall we hear from our listener? Let's do it. Okay. Today's question comes from a barista in her twenties. She's a 6'3 generator with an emotional authority. And her question today is like a very on theme. Do you want to read I do. And I just have to be honest that I asked Ellen if this was a real birth date because I didn't know 20 year olds were born in the 2000s. I thought we the bed date.
She's like, is this spammed. was like, yeah, she's in her 20s. We're excited to have you. Ellen really wants to crack into the Gen Z. So I think the gen Zeds would love this pod. Please tell all the gen zeds, everyone find a gen zed and tell them about the podcast. And also while we're at it, head to our website, askmysisterpod. com and submit a listener question. Someone sent me a voice note. They're like, I want to submit my voice note. I couldn't find it on the website. So here you go.
We will sort that out eventually. Like we will, we're snailing that, that feels like technology at some point we'll work out how you can send voice notes, I love an enthusiastic so enthusiastic. you can email a Oh, yeah. Yes, you could to hello at askmysisterpod. com that's our email address, right? I don't know, you're number three in admin. I feel confident. Shall we get to the question?
Yeah. Okay. The question is What is your advice on creating boundaries in how frequently I can and should be expected to work and setting boundaries on where professionalism and friendship is appropriate in manager? employee conversations. I find that I'm the only one in the workplace who finds that the line is constantly being crossed from professionalism to far too personal in situations where it should definitely stay professional. Yeah. two questions here.
One something about creating boundaries in general. There's a specific question about kind of how often you work. and then one about professionalism. So interesting because there's so, I think there's so much tension around this because there's bring your whole self to work kind of thing. ideas. And I also think that having good quality relationships at work is important. And we have kind of made professionalism mean like detached and distant. And I don't think that's what it needs to be.
I think in this hospitality environment, The managers probably aren't particularly well trained in leading to. So that kind of idea we've talked about before where. Often something's like a lack of skill, rather than for the purpose of upsetting you deliberately. I think that's an assumption though.
I feel like I've spent way more time in hospitality than you have and it is a Like, I think these things do get to be taken seriously, and a lot of the time people in hospitality are incredibly charismatic and can, like, really great at connection. So, it might not be leadership the way you would approach it. Or at least structured. but I think this question is like, how's my manager meant to interact with me?
I think it's like, I seem to share more across more boundaries, quote unquote, in the like professional realm than others. And when is that okay? And when isn't, Yeah, what do you think about this question? I find it quite hard. Cause I I'm 100 percent an open book and. Most of the time that feels really good to me, like, I've worked really hard to be in a place where I know myself and I like my life. So I don't.
Mind sharing and I like what I'm sharing and I have a WhatsApp group where we, we worked really hard on banning the word oversharing and just claimed sharing. But lately I've been going through an interesting process where I've realized that sharing has kind of become a currency. Or something I feel like I'm offering to people because I've received feedback that what I've shared has been helpful or it's, you know, Inspired them or whatever.
And lately I've been getting this reaction within my bones. It's like, Oh, but I haven't even made sense of that yet. that's so strange. Cause it's almost like, but why are you working off something I'm working on? And it's been such a good mirror. Cause actually it's shown me like, you can hold that to yourself more. That's for you. it's again, like human design comes back to breaking the rules and living by your own. So are you questioning it? Cause it's feeling icky.
Cause if it is like, that's a clue that it's out of your alignment and you don't want to be doing that. Or is it because of the shoulds of society where you think it's not appropriate? Cause like, that's what's being passed down to you. I think this person is saying that other people are too personal with them at work. So your read on it is almost like the manager, perhaps he's overstepping the boundary and. let's approach it both ways, because it honestly could be both.
And I think it's helpful for both. But if it's that kind of like, Oh, my God, I'm too informal. I'm too familiar. Why can't I shut the fuck up? this, um, this actually has an open throat. So similar to me that is why I'm the ramble queen. And I find it hard to put a full stop at the end of a sentence or no. When I'm doing it right now, you know, so it's like when you're an open throat. You aren't always designed to speak like it's not connected to anything particular.
It's not connected to your perspective. It's not connected to your emotions. It's not connected to your fears, not connected to your direction in life. So you become this kind of like open vessel to channel things through.
And so there will be particular people where it's really resonant that you do speak up and you can feel that synergy between the two of And then there'll be times where you just are kind of going in circles and that's When it is kind of time to reflect, like, maybe I don't need to be speaking right now, but the other thing, like, let's go then flip it. If she is saying people are kind of like bringing all this to her, she actually has all four of the love gifts, which is like very beautiful.
But what that means is like, she's someone that has like such a high tolerance for humanity and what people go through and like can actually like perhaps hold a lot of space for someones. Experiences, so sometimes when I don't get to, like, engage or speak to the person, I look to reasons why that might be the case. So it might just be like tapping on 1 of her strengths. But regardless, if it's something that she doesn't enjoy, perhaps we could talk about tools or tips for like shutting it down.
Yeah. And so what are some tools and tips for that? Because I think it is very hard. you know, like, our mum is the kind of person that just strangers will tell her their, like, saddest moments in life. And I think that if you do attract that from people, it can be really tricky to set that boundary when, like, someone's in the middle of, a quite like deep emotional thing that they're obviously wanting to share with you.
I think in this kind of work context, you'd be better off having conversations like away from those interactions. And you might say things like,, Hey, I've got a lot going on today. I've got a lot going on at the moment. I really love chatting to you, but I'd prefer we just talked about work for the next couple of weeks. Or if you can feel a conversation is going in a direction that you kind of don't want it to.
I think that earlier you can kind of set a boundary in that conversation, the better. even like, I actually just don't have capacity to, to talk about that kind of stuff at the moment. That is a big, huge one. even as a friend, you know, asking if you're sharing something big, do you have capacity? I think is such a powerful way because it takes the personal out of it. you don't have to go into the drama, but it's really a very clear invitation or a clear full stop for someone as well.
Yeah. What other techniques do you have for that kind of, are you like, I always want to hear the drama? Yeah. I'm like, Oh fuck. I'm a Gemini with an open throat. I'm like, let's go, baby. I'll sort your problems. Should we get your child up? I also am an open emotional, so like I do live for the emotions. Like where you're white, you can often be quite addicted.
So I think in all my workplaces, I have almost like use that as an advantage that I can like step past the professional to talk personal. not to get ahead or anything, like, look where I am, you know, it's like, I wasn't trying to get ahead, but it was actually stimulating me, I think I just want to then say as well, like just test where your idea of professionalism comes from. Thank you.
That's what I was trying to yeah, things change, you know, like our dad was always mortified when I had in my first job at a corporate law firm that I would go into the office in workout clothes. And that was like a really acceptable thing to do because they had like changed facilities there, so it was really normal for lots of people to like come in having done exercise, go to their desk and grab their stuff and then go and get changed.
But he was just like horrified by the idea that I would like step foot into that place, you know, in Lycra. He's always thought my long hair wasn't professional, you know. so it's like, okay, because you're using the word professional here in your question. It's like, what do you mean by that? And I think of a different way to think about it is like, what do you really want out of work? Is it that this thing that's happening is kind of irritating?
You're pushing a button because you've got Someone else's idea about work, what workplaces are meant to be like, because if that is the case, then I think that's worth rethinking or is it that it's pushing your buttons and it's not how you want work to be because it's like becoming a big load for you to carry, or you're kind of being pulled into other people's. Drama or hard time or whatever, in a way that doesn't really serve you.
Like, I think the question's much more important than what is professional or not, because I think, I don't think we really know what professional really means actually, anymore. And I've always found it kind of an unhelpful thing to use as, guidance. It's just like, are we treating people well? Is this an enjoyable place to work? Are we getting things done? Cause I mean, we get paid to get things done at work as well.
I think this is a great time to talk about the energy type as well, because, you know, you asked how much is appropriate, like to work. And It's like, does it give you energy or does it take energy away from you? And I don't mean like, Oh, I'm tired at the end of the day because I had a good day. Like we will all need rest.
But like, does it feel heavy or does it feel light because if it's feeling heavy, that is as a generator, your clue that you're not in your alignment, you're not in your satisfaction. And it's actually not something you want to keep engaging in. Like, do think Ellen's question is amazing. Like we're moving into a very different future. So it's worth revisiting your narratives and the structures you've put around yourself. But yes, just based on like, is this okay? Is it not? How do you check?
It's that kind of heaviness or lightness. But the thing that's also really important to take note of is that generators have this karma, this like validation karma, because traditionally. We would have like survived of doing things we didn't want to do. So I'm the hospitality gal. Like I've lived that.
And, when you have a great work ethic and you're a generator that can like go because you've got a sustained battery life, you can often get really like praised and become the manager's like best friend because you're just like amazing at your job. Yeah, nothing's too hard. Like everything gets done. you're not too good for any job task. And you've got this gift about creating communities, important bonding with people's important. You're very altruistic.
Like you can sit, you have this like love of humanity. Like it all starts painting this picture of you being someone tapping into your gifts, which is amazing. But it's like, those also get to be reserved for the things that you desire, the things that like you are, what your passions are, and that might totally be Like, like you might be exactly where you want to be, but it's just like balancing because you can get a whole lot of burnt out. And like, not just energy burnout, but desire burnout.
Like, when generators are like, I don't even know what I like anymore. It's because almost their system has been kind of zapped dry for other people's benefit. I think there's a little clue here because the first part of your question was about boundaries, about how frequently I should be expected to work. And that question in itself probably tells me that work's not necessarily a kind of soul fulfilling, I want more, more, more of this place.
And we haven't answered that part of the question, maybe we should now. So, think that that question also indicates that a casual arrangement where there's probably shifts that you can work out. You know, do you want 7 days of them or 5 days of them? I suspect that what you've just described from a chart perspective, Mads means there's probably some leaky boundaries about taking shifts on.
and when it comes to boundaries about those kind of logistical things, I think that often we'll really like train people by how we respond. So if we're the kind of person who says, I don't want to work on, let's say Thursdays. but every time I get offered a Thursday shift or get asked, like, Oh, someone's sick. Like, we really need you. If I always go, Oh, okay. Then. Training people that that boundary is not really real.
and it is good to think about how you much you wanna work and what you wanna hold time for and maybe that is like a particular day that you don't wanna work. Or maybe it's something, it doesn't have to be rigid. It might be the most weeks, you only wanna do four shifts. Or it could just be that you just want to do like, Mads is just a very like, I'll just see how I feel on the day. Like whatever it is, however you want to kind of make decisions about your time.
Get really clear about that and then communicate it and then follow through with it. I would add that. Dear listener, you and I are the opposite.
So you're similar to Ellen where the daily structure actually brings a lot of peace to your system, to your brain, like how you want to then be showing up for the things you're passionate about again, might be in this job, but still like giving yourself that clear routine is actually Going to bring more flow, but I couldn't stop thinking about my own experience of being that kind of age, being like critiqued or complimented for that work ethic.
And the fact that often a no would make me think of like, Oh my God, I'm like saying no, like dad's going to know. I said, no, Mom's going to know I said no. Like, Oh my God, I'm turning down money. Or I'm letting someone down with all Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. So it's like, we have complicated listening to our system because we've attached like this idea that it might be offending or impacting so many more people outside of ourselves.
So I often have generators do an inventory of yes, no, maybe of all the things in their life. So just start like kind of flexing. On your own time, like, are you leaking boundaries elsewhere because once you start seeing that and cleaning them up, you do sign of find like, Oh, like your yes. Backbone gets really strong when you're no backbone gets like even stronger the thing that's interesting.
Ellen did say about like to see in the moment how I'm feeling like, The routine is something you definitely want to be structured on, but your authority is emotional. So that for emotionals, they kind of say, like, there's no real clarity in the moment, because depending on where you are in your way, if, like, if you're really riding it high and feeling amazing, or if you're like in the funk and the low, it might impact your decision.
that is another thing that again, we're like making the assumption that this is casual, but say if you're making like a much grander commitment, getting familiar with your wave might also be helpful because you might kind of find like actually working, you know, five days a week or at these hours or seven days or whatever, like doesn't allow me any space to like, relieve my wave, if you are then getting asked regularly, on the day. One that might be stressing your brain.
Cause you're like, Oh my God, too many, just like, but I had a routine. So that kind of throws you off. Or the opposite is you might being be asked to make a decision for like tomorrow, but because you're in an interesting place in your wave, when tomorrow comes around, you're like, Oh, I actually really needed this because the emotional way for people is like, that's what puts you in your divine timing.
So when you can dance with it a bit more and like, yes, of course we have jobs to go to and like commitments, but But if you're overriding what you need, purely based on not letting someone down, there's just like no space for you to start to get to know your way will be in it. So that might be like as Ellen often says, like, even the fact you're asking this might be you kind of looking for some permission to take some more you time.
we've all kind of been in the circumstance or some version of this, which is if I'm the person who needs to make the call to feel the Roster or to get some, someone to work at an unallocated time. I'm going to call the person who always says yes first. we actually don't believe what people say to us, we looked for what they do. So you might be constantly saying, oh no, I don't want to take on any extra time, or I don't want to work any extra hours, or I don't want to take on any extra shifts.
But if I call you and you say yes, then, and like so much of this stuff happens for people in their subconscious. Um, It's a huge thing for people walking around like in the victim of it, like, Oh, but like for some person, like they might be saving and like, they might want every shift, you know, like a boss might also think they're doing you a favor by giving you money. Like, we don't know what anyone's narrative is. And that's why we just get really clear on communicating.
Like, again, this is a generator with an emotional authority. So like, am I drawn to it? Yes or no. Like simple as that. And does it make me feel good when I think about it, when I hold it in, like in my reality. And if you find it's hard to communicate boundaries, like you might even be able to then work your way around it. Like, do you mind texting me? You know, it gives me more time to think about it instead of calling or like, can you pop it in an email?
With like, as much warning as you can, like, if there are workarounds that provide space for you to communicate your needs more clearly. That might be a buffer step to add in as well. So, I hope that was helpful. I've already pulled the moon card. She is honestly off and away today. Because it's so on point. So, thank you so much for writing in. We hope that was useful. We're sorry we had to interpret your question in two different ways, but maybe someone needed the opposite.
I also hope we weren't too ageist. I felt a bit ageist. We love you, Gen Zed, find someone born in the 2000s and tell them about I, I, just felt out of touch. Maybe I just as wrong, but I felt out of touch. Happens to the best of us. All right. Should we hear from the moon cards? Okay, I have. Communication is key. New Moon in Gemini. which is so of us to answer both sides, A successful relationship usually comes down to one thing, communication.
And the New Moon in Gemini card is all about the start of a new cycle for communicating with the person at the centre of your question. Talking things through is the answer to whatever it is you're asking about. If you can't talk to the person, you can journal about it to yourself. Email, text, and all other forms of communication will also help you now. if the issue you're asking about concerns a sibling or a neighbor, there's a new start coming, a time to wipe the slate clean and start over.
This card could also suggest you've been too frivolous lately and need to get grounded again, but most importantly drawing this card emphasizes the need to communicate. So you can attune to the moon by writing a list of all the people you love most and see if you're prioritizing them. And that's so good, because my queen and hero, Brene Brown, says, the most empathetic people she knows have really good boundaries.
Often when we're really empathetic, we end up giving all of our love and attention to strangers. instead of the people that we care about the most because we don't know how to put that boundary in and then turn our attention where it needs to go. Additional meanings for this card, time to tell someone how you feel and don't be all in your head and not in your heart. And I don't think this is related, but you'll love it Mads. Someone is flirting with you. It's really funny.
Cause there's this, actually, you know what? I'm not oversharing. I'll tell you later. She's got boundaries. All right. Thanks everyone for listening. We'll see you next week. See you next week. Oh, love you. Love you. Love you. Bye.