Meth, mayhem and marrying a bikie: Nikki Justice Pt.1 - podcast episode cover

Meth, mayhem and marrying a bikie: Nikki Justice Pt.1

Jul 05, 202545 minSeason 4Ep. 290
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Episode description

Nikki Justice is the daughter of a drug dealer, was a circus runaway and the ex-wife of a bikie. As a young girl, Nikki went on drug drops with her dad, watched loved ones go to prison, lived with the circus and embraced a live fast die young mentality. From hand raising lion cubs to marrying a bikie, this is the wild life of Nikki Justice.

This episode contains mentions of suicide, if you need support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

Want to hear more from I Catch Killers? Visit news.com.au.

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

The public has had a long held fascination with detectives. Detective see a side of life the average persons never exposed her. I spent thirty four years as a cop. For twenty five of those years I was catching killers. That's what I did for a living. I was a homicide detective. I'm no longer just interviewing bad guys. Instead, I'm taking the public into the world in which I operated. The guests I talk to each week have amazing stories from all sides of the law. The interviews are raw

and honest, just like the people I talk to. Some of the content and language might be confronting. That's because no one who comes into contact with crime is left unchanged. Join me now as I take you into this world. Today, I spoke to Nicki Justice. It was a fun and enlightening chat. Nicki's a stand up comedian, but that's just a small part of her story. Nicki has had an interesting childhood. Her father who made a living as a

drug dealer. Then at sixteen, she joined the circus, traveling the country of a family and working and performing for the Stardust Circus. After leaving the circus, she started making a living working in the minds. Then she got into drugs and decided stripping might be more profitable. That's when she met a former husband and father of children who just so happened to be a biky. Then she turned

the hand to a taboo artist before trying stand up comedy. Obviously, NICKI and I have got a lot to talk about, Nicki Justice, Welcome to I Catch Killers.

Speaker 2

Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1

Well, I've had a whole range of guests on I Catch Killers. I've had the bad guys, the good guys, the solicitors, all sorts of people, and they have been easier to describe than describing your life. You've certainly lived a full life, so I might try it over to you. How would you describe Nicki Justice?

Speaker 2

Oh gosh, Yeah, it's been a lot. Yeah, I feel like I've got I've lived many lifetimes, but I'm not even forty yet, so there's still still a lot more to come, hopefully, But yeah, I think I feel like there's definitely it's like different different seasons of my life, and there's been some interesting chapters. The circus was probably one of the most out there ones.

Speaker 1

Not many people you hear a lot of people say they've run off with the circus. But yeah, or they want to run off with the circus, so they should have run off with the circus. Not many people actually do it, so I'll be interested to speak to you about that. Yeah, but whole range of different careers you work.

Speaker 2

In the mind, I've done so many. I've like, if I had tried to write more down, there be so many, because I've worked in mining and construction and I actually used to be a project manager. I've been a logistics manager in fashion. I've been a photographer, a makeup artist. I've worked in like my first jobs for like in super markets, the circus, tatoo artist. I've done so many jobs and stripper stripper was one of them. And now stand up now stand up comedian, stand up comedian.

Speaker 1

Well, it's a whole whole range of things, so there's plenty to talk about. We're not going to run out of topics. And you also, you're married to a bikey.

Speaker 2

For yes, I was. That was another chapter.

Speaker 1

Okay, Well we've had we've had a lot of bikes on eye catch killers, but we haven't heard it from the other side being the partner of the biking. So I think that that'll be some interesting, interesting chats just on the on the bikey aspect. I when I sit down with guys that are in the clubs or whatever, I quite often say, well, yeah, when you join, you know it's basically going to be you're going to end up in jail or you could end up dead, and

quite often that that play plays out. Yeah, as a wife, did you have those concerns?

Speaker 2

Definitely, because it's like it's like it's a common thing to see you know, your friend's partners in jail or so fortunately for me, mine wasn't while I was with him. He's been in jail before we met. But yeah, like houses getting raided and men going to jail for years at a time, and the occasional you know death or murder as well is normal, So it is differentely something that plays in your mind. I do think, I think

I've mentioned this when we talked before. Western Australia isn't quite as it seems more hectic over here, like I think with like inter gang fights and killings, like we still have it, but on a smaller level. So I don't think it was like all the time you were worried about it, but like if they didn't out to their phone and didn't come home on time. You would start that would be the first thing in your mind would start going.

Speaker 1

To Yeah, I would imagine because it's you know, they're out there taking the risks or whatever, but you're seeing home waiting and you with your husband. You had three children.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, so.

Speaker 1

That would have Yeah, so there was a commitment there.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it was definitely something that was on your mind. Sometimes. There was one There was one period of time where there was a bit of a thing going on between my husband ex husband's club and another club, and so there was a period of about a year where it was like quite tense and like any time they went out, they had to go out. They would not go out by themselves and avoid certain places. And yeah, that period of time was a little bit, a little bit scary.

Speaker 1

So eight years you're with him.

Speaker 2

Yeah, married for a and probably together for ten.

Speaker 1

Okay, where did you meet?

Speaker 2

So we actually met at his biking clubhouse. So they were having like a small party and I had been asked I was I just started stripping at the time, I was quite new to it, and I got asked to work there. And then when they told me he was at a clubhouse. I was like, oh, I didn't want to really do biking clubhouses, and so I said no, and then they rang me back because I couldn't fin anyone else and they were like, oh, they can't find anyone, and the girl said she knew everyone there and could

vouch that it would be safe and whatever. So I went and then the rest is history. He's the one who answered the door when I got and then we moved in with each other like four weeks later.

Speaker 1

I think love it love at first sight?

Speaker 2

Was it in hindsight? I wouldn't say it was like true love last or yeah, yeah, I was quite young. I was twenty two or twenty three when I met him. He was in his early thirties. But it's funny because like most like my parents, my mum had some reservations when she found out I was with the barkie, but

I was quite way with myself. But most people would be like, it'd be pretty bad if their daughter ends up with a bikie, But for my parents, it was like almost the opposite because being with him tanged me because I had to behave myself because I was a little bit off the rails. Myself before I met him.

Speaker 1

Okay, well that's your poor your poor parents. Glad she's hooked up with a bikey. Yeah, he'll keep they were on the straight and narrow.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't say poor parents that I was like that for a reason.

Speaker 1

Okay, yeah, well we've jumped ahead because I want to delve deeper into into the biking world or the wife of biking. But before we do that, let's find out a little bit about yourself and your childhood. Where'd you grow up?

Speaker 2

So it's never a straightforward Westent grew up, I would say, wa, but because we moved a lot around regionally, and so between Perth and a lot of seaside coastal towns up and down the coast. Because when I was in my early years, my dad was a cray fisherman, so we moved around a lot and then ended up settling. So I had like most of my like my high school years and my later primary school years was in Rockingham and Mandra. Yeah, it was about an hour.

Speaker 1

Out of Perth for people not from Western st Okay, So that would have been a bit of a transient childhood to start with for living on the coast.

Speaker 2

And yeah, yeah, So we moved a lot, and I went to lots of different schools like I went to I think we Canada. It was seven primary schools and four high schools, but the coastal towns, like the earlier years of my childhood, it was actually like I love I love being by the sea, and I've got some of my best memories of from those those towns that we lived in.

Speaker 1

What's it like going through that many schools? But like your first day of the new school, do you get accustomed to it or yeah?

Speaker 2

I think I think you sort of just get used to it. But in hindsight, I think it sort of impacted my ability to like make and keep friendships as I got older, because I don't know, I just yeah, I didn't. I didn't really have like I've seen. I know people that have like the same friends since like childhood of high school, and I've never had that because I never was there long to maintain a long term friendship.

Speaker 1

But found it easier to make friends like drop drop you in there, and you could make the friends.

Speaker 2

When I was a kid, I always kind of made friends easy enough, But yeah, I didn't didn't stay in touch when I can move on to the next school or whatever.

Speaker 1

Now, besides cray fishing, your dad had another occupation.

Speaker 2

Yes, so I believe this was also from quite early on.

Speaker 1

In my just we cover this. We're not going to get your father in the trouble trouble here.

Speaker 2

He's dead, so he can't get into any trouble.

Speaker 1

All right, We're free to go.

Speaker 2

Don't worry about it, lord, Yeah, no, no, no. So he was a drug dealer for most of my life. So so from from what I know when I was quite young, he was originally just sort of growing wheat he used to do, like the whole he had, the whole hydropolg We had a secret garden in our backyard that we used to like, I don't think we're meant to know about it, but we did.

Speaker 1

Except let's pull that back because I can imagine you don't want your kids to know because to.

Speaker 2

Open the Yeah, and we absolutely did.

Speaker 1

Dad's secret garden down the back is that how it was sold to.

Speaker 2

Well, we knew it was a secret garden because we knew when we first found like we obviously knew we weren't meant to know about it because it was so secret because it was at the back. So we had this huge shed and at the back of the shed we discovered that the wall was fake and it was

actually a sliding door. So it was a sliding shared door that opened to reveal a whole bunch of tomato plants as because we ended up asking what is this and there was all this like heavy lighting on the ceiling anyway, so that was the secret garden.

Speaker 1

That would have been like you'd be a moth to a bright light.

Speaker 2

Oh, it was, so it was. It was honestly so exciting. I remember. I remember the feeling of like sneaking my friends in there, like when we'd have friends come over to play, like come, I look at the secret garden and it was like really exciting. But then we were asking questions about why is there no tomatoes because they told us there was tomatoes, and we'd always go and check, excited to see these tomatoes and they just never grow.

Speaker 1

How old were you at the time?

Speaker 2

How old was I then? I think I was in year two one or two, so I would have been like six or seven.

Speaker 1

Did your dad get caught with no.

Speaker 2

So here only went he went to jail once when I was a kid, But that was actually he got in a bar fight and then got arrested, and then because he was drunk, I think he took a swing at the copper resting him, and so he got a few as he got a few months in jail for that. And that was my mom said that I told the school. So she told the school that dad was away from work, and then I let slip that he was actually in jail.

Speaker 1

You're not very good at cheving secrets.

Speaker 2

No, no, no, I was the family snitch.

Speaker 1

You had. You had siblings, Yeah.

Speaker 2

I had a younger brother. So I've got a younger brother two years younger than me and a sister two years older. Right, okay, so the middle.

Speaker 1

And you were the middle one causing the problems.

Speaker 2

We got raided ones. And I told my school for news, I told, like you know, show and tell me. I told my whole class and the teachers that that was my story, that that's what happened on the weekend. Please kick that door in.

Speaker 1

That's hilarious, good story. You would have scored well for.

Speaker 2

My mom said, she picked me up from school and my teacher pulled her aside and said, there are no secrets in your household.

Speaker 1

Okay, So you're making life health for your health your parents. So when your dad's in jail, is how are we around that period?

Speaker 2

I think that was I was a bit younger, so I think I might have been like five, so I barely remember it, and I just remember thinking he was working away at first, so I don't know when I would have found out he wasn't. We must have just overheard, maybe.

Speaker 1

Yeah, So no stigma at that age, like it's just I don know.

Speaker 2

And I actually forgot about it, like Mum had to remind me of all this stuff and then I was like, oh yeah, and I just sort of forgot right okay, because it wasn't for very long, I don't think, and he did used to sometimes work away, so it was like it made sense, I guess with a question.

Speaker 1

When did you start to realize that your dad was operating on the other side of the law.

Speaker 2

It wasn't until I was probably because I was a little goody two shoes up until I was about thirteen or fourteen, and I think that was when I started. I think that was when I was about fourteen that I started to realize my family was a bit different to other families and Dad was still dealing drugs and it wasn't just weed by then, so he was like dealing speed and stuff. But yeah, I can't remember the exact moment that I was like, oh, my dad's a drug dealer, but it ended up being quite open. Yeah,

it was obvious. Yeah, like I would be there sometimes when things were going on, or we'd always be waiting in the car and we would know what was going on and.

Speaker 1

Dropped off, picked up or whatever. Did you accept the family business or if you you said you were at AUSTRAIGHTI one eighty at thirteen, were you going, oh, this is wrong?

Speaker 2

And I think at first I was a bit mad. So at the same around the same time, a friend of mine had passed away. And up until then I was like a really very religious kid because we went to private schools. Despite the fact the things my parents were into, they sent us to private schools, and we actually went to church a lot. We went to church

my Sunday, so they were religious figure. So yeah. So and then I think because losing a friend at that age through drugs, no, no, no, So this was just a friend from my Christian school and he had a car accident with a bunch of other teenage boys, so only one survived. There was five of them, four of them died, one survived but ended up in a wheelchair. And yeah, ye, so I think all this happened at

the same time. And so for a little while I was quite angry and resentful at my parents because I sort of realized because they weren't behaving the way parents should. So I was quite mad at them for a little while. But then I don't know when it changed from being mad at them to joining them, because then I sort of ended up started partying myself. That eventually led to sometimes partying with my dad, not so much my mom. My mom. I think my mom tried harder than my

dad to keep it separate. And still, you know, you're the kid with parents, even if they weren't always doing it right. Whereas uh, well, my parents split up for a while, and then when it was just me living with my dad, it was like a bit.

Speaker 1

Chaos party part what saw of the drugs?

Speaker 2

So he mainly dealt in speed, and I started taking speed when I was probably not a lot, and I used to I used to just drink it, put it in my drink so i'd have speed. But then my friends were also starting to get into like ecstasy and things like that, so we smoked a lot of weed. It was mainly weed for me and sometimes speed. We didn't have enough money to always have.

Speaker 1

To make do what you can do. I hope you didn't raid your dad's secret garden or secret stuff.

Speaker 2

I did convince him once to give me an ounce of weed. We asked him for an ounce. He actually gave me half an ounce, but I convinced him to give it to me because I said, I will sell it and I'll make the money back and then and then eventually be able to pay for it myself. So that was me joining the family business. But so he did it. He gave me half an ounce, and it

was I didn't end up selling it. I mean, my friends just smoked it all, had a fun week, and then I couldn't pay that back, so he never did it again.

Speaker 1

You ripped off your father a drug deal? Yeah, okay, that's that's something something new with that. There's no break on you, buddy there. You're dealing drugs, You're trying drugs like it's you know, I had a father that slapped me down when I've started doing doing the wrong thing. Yeah, you've got one that's gone here, Try this, try that.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I wouldn't say. He was the one who, like I definite already tried it before I did it with him, but then once he knew I was already doing it. I think his idea was that if you're going to be doing I'd rather be doing it at home.

Speaker 1

Well, I suppose, like drinking, some people's idea of well you let your kids drink at home rather than drink down the local park.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I had friends that would put themselves in Well I was sometimes there in those dangerous situations, but my friends would lie to their parents, whereas my friend my parents always knew what I was doing and where I was, so if I was ever in trouble, I could always ring them and say, hey, can you come and get us, where some of my friends would be like, I can't call my mom. Yeah yeah, not saying it was a better way of but.

Speaker 1

No, but it's a different way, and it's a consideration, like you see that, Okay, that was the life. Drug dealing, stealing your ripping your dad's drugs off, a bit of cray fishing, all the shit that goes down there. Then you your family decided to make the big move and join a circus.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so this was during that period where it was just me and my dad living together. My mum and dad had broken up, and then the circus came to town. And I actually before so I was at the shops one day with my friends. That was all the kids.

All the kids used to hang out at the shopping center where they were wagging all before in our school and whatever, and some of the guys from the circus were in the shops and they were just being show offs, like they were doing flips and I guess to I think they were handing out flyers and stuff, but they were trying to chat me my friend up, and we just to usk because we were like fifteen year old girls. We were just like ill because they were like closer

to thirty, so we weren't impressed. So they were trying to impress us. We weren't impressed. And then like a few days later, i'd I've come home from school and I've walked in and these same guys from the shops were in my launde room, and so I was just like,

why are they here? And then because they were obviously trying to find what my dad was selling, and they that's how they met my dad, and so he started hanging out and partying with them for a couple of weeks that they were showing and then by the end of it, they'd decided that they offered Dad a job, and so Dad said he was joining the circus and I could come with him or go and live with my mum. And so at first I said, no, I'm

going to go live with mum. So my brother ended up deciding he wanted to go with Dad, so he joined and because he was only thirteen, so we would me and Mum and my sister would go out and visit these little towns to go visit my brother and my dad, and then mom and Dad got back together. Then we all picked up.

Speaker 1

Okay, well I've never yeah, I never thought they'd get someone that I'm talking to who joined the circus. Tell us about the life of is Cannie in the of fensive term, because.

Speaker 2

Carnie is a thing, But there's actually a difference between circus folks and Carnie's. Okay, so Cannie ask to circus people. Carnies are the carnival people. So people travel around and put on like carnivals and all the rides and stuff, and they are different. Yes, there, I don't want to be offensive. I don't know if any carnie's listening to listen to you, but they're a bit more they're a bit more backwards. I think they do a bit more meth.

They look like it anyway, carnival. Yeah, it was very different because I feel like, how do I describe this now?

Speaker 1

I'm hearing what you're saying because Carnee is often said as a derogatory town that.

Speaker 2

People when you meet them you kind of understand why they have and yeah, and honestly meeting carnies because they showed it actually happened more than once where that would be showing there would be a carnival in town at the same time a circus was so sometimes we'll camped right near each other, so we saw what was going on and got to know them sometimes and seeing what they were like has put me off carnival rides because I'm like, I do not trust my life with these people.

Speaker 1

Okay, okay, well.

Speaker 2

Because those rides rely on making sure the maintenance is all good, and I just don't trust that it's happening.

Speaker 1

Okay, well it's there's regulations and I'm sure for carnival carnival rise, but I'm glad we've made that distinction.

Speaker 2

Yes, I wasn't a Carney, Okay.

Speaker 1

So I remember when the circus came in the in the town, or came in an area. They'd set up in an oval near a park, and it was a big thing. All the kids, let's go to the circus. What it was Stardust circus with so they got the animals and that.

Speaker 2

Yep. So this was going back to I think it was two thousand when we joined, and so back then they still had a lot of animals. So there was an elephant called Anna who is ended up getting re homed at the Double Zoo. And there was monkeys. I loved the monkeys. Monkeys are very cute. There was like five monkeys. They had ponies. They also had lions, a few lions. There was at one point they ended up

getting some new new lines. So they already had the adult lines, and they ended up getting a bunch of lion cubs so we got to like hand raise these little line How cool that was? That was like in hindsight, knowing what you know. I was only younger, so I don't actually agree with animals in captivity like that now, but at the time, I didn't, you know, I was young. I didn't really know.

Speaker 1

No one really appreciated that.

Speaker 2

We used to get protesters come to the surface of the animal rights protesters would come and then at first, because like obviously the circus people hated the protesters, they'd be like, oh, here we go again. But then I remember reading one of the fliers and I remember starting to think about it, and I was like, I think they've got a boy. Yeah, the cubs were gorgeous.

Speaker 1

I'm not sure if it was Stardus, but it was a circus that came to town round Galston set up on the oval where I'd take my dog for a run. It was a cattle dog, and the dog would offully, just running around the circus set up. And he ran up to where the circus was and smelt something from the lion's cage. Walked up there. I've never seen the dog shit himself, might just sniffing around, looked up and this Lin's just staring at him, just yelping, and took off.

But that would have been a bit of fun. You were fifteen sixteen.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so I was fifteen. We joined and I was still there when I turned sixteen. While I was there and left a little.

Speaker 1

While after, and what what was your role?

Speaker 2

Ah? So my role every day wasn't as glamorous as it might well not that, and I don't think you were thinking it sound of glamorous anyway. But so I shoveled elephant shit every single morning. So there was there was girls and boys jobs, so every morning didn't matter who you were or what. So there was because there was the family, and then there was performers, and then there was like laborers and it didn't matter which one you were. You the girls picked up the poop and

the boys had like other jobs. So every morning you had to pick up animal crap. And you were always hungover as well. So we used to party almost every night or not. You know, you'd have a couple of days off here and there, but we drank a lot, and so you'd always be picking up shit in the morning with the worst hangover. It was disgusting.

Speaker 1

So the day, the day to day life on the road. So you literally you see him come into town. Yeah, settle all up. So it looks like a lot of work was set up performance, yeah, and then it's pack up and yeah.

Speaker 2

So sometimes in a bigger town you would stay for a week or sometimes even two. But in smaller towns so we did, we do what we'd call one nighters. So you'd drive to a town, set up and do the show, and then that night you would pack down the tent that night, and then in the morning you do a clean up and then everyone be on the road to do it all again that night at another town. Long days hard, yeah, yeah, so there was a lot

of there was. We did a lot of one nighters in Wa because Wa so big, lots of small town so we covered a lot because I was with the circus for almost I want to say almost a year, but I think a lot of that was in w A. I don't know exactly how long we were there for, but yeah, we did a lot of one nighters. And then when we were at when we were somewhere like

for longer. It was good because that was when we actually got to So I was besides like cleaning up Elephant Pooh, and I used to help in the canteen and look after the kids. But I was also a training acrobat, so I was I was trying to learn the trapeze and I almost got there, but I couldn't. I never ended up getting I used to have this little in air fit on my way back to the bar, so you'd get you there's so many different parts of going on the trapeze and each learning each part is terrifying.

So the first part you have to learn is to actually leave the So you're standing up really high obviously on this platform, and then there's a bar there that you have to grab, and there's a moment where you grab the bar and then for a few seconds when you're pulling it towards you, you're not holding on to anything.

That's it's terrifying. So that's the first hurdle you have to get over, and then you learn that part, and then you go for a swing and then and then the next part after learning how to do the swing, is to then get caught. And then after you get caught, you got to learn how to get thrown back to the bar. And that was the part that I never nailed. Every time I would get thrown back to the bar, like have a little fit.

Speaker 1

I can understand. And that's of the catching nets underneath.

Speaker 2

So yeah, yeah, it's really because because you can see through the net, it's even though you know it's there, it really your brain is feeling like you're going to go splat, but you don't. But that was actually really fun, like once you once you got over the initial fear, it started to become fun. But yeah, we didn't actually get to do that often because we were moving so much.

And I was also learning to do a da gio act, which is where you get a muscleman throws you around in the air for doing tricks just like handstands or holding you in certain positions and stuff and flipping you around. Because there was a like crabat there that was pregnant, so I was being trained to replace.

Speaker 1

Okay, and that's everyone that travels with the circus is working or got some something.

Speaker 2

Yeah, most people, most people there's so you have. There was a few international acts that would come over to join the circus just as performers, but everyone else that would join genuinely would join as a corral laborer and then they'd start learning, they'd learn an act, and then most people ended up doing something in the.

Speaker 1

Show, doing something. Yeah, okay, your brother he became a clown.

Speaker 2

Yes, my brother started clowning brother. Yeah, so he was only like thirteen and he became a clown. And because he was always in full clown, so I don't think people realized he was thirteen. So like we'd be like hanging out afterwards drinking and someone some girl would be like, who's the little one. I'd like, stay away from him.

Speaker 1

He's too young, a year old picking up women in the clown sit? Okay, what so the characters experience there's any funny stories or things that?

Speaker 2

So many, so many, it was insane. There was this man there I can't even remember his name, but he was really he was really cagey about who he was and where he was from in his past. And I think I think some people probably would have joined the transit, you know, the circus for that transient liafetele because they're

unning for something. Because there was this one guy in particularly, we always used to think he's done something, like he's on the run from something, because he was just really really shut down when you try and ask him about his past or where he is from.

Speaker 1

A lot of mystery. There isn't run away to the French Foreign Legion or run away to the circus. Yeah, how did that come to come to an end.

Speaker 2

So my parents left first. They left and my siblings left about maybe eight months into it, and by then we traveled all the way up to North Queensland. And so my mum actually got into a fight, like a punch up. They got into like a scrap and so I don't even remember. I remember watching it. I was standing there. I was there, and I think I think she was having an argument and I don't remember exactly what it was about, but I don't know. It just

it just happened. They were punching on and they were both strong women, they were both fit, they were both strong, so I think I think they gave each other a good crack and then so that was it. Immediately, obviously my family was leaving, but I decided to stay because at the time I just turned sixteen, which meant legally I was allowed to move out of.

Speaker 1

Home travel with a circus.

Speaker 2

Yeah, and I didn't really get along very well with my mum at that time, so I was like, oh, yeah, I decided to stay. And they left and then I was there for a few months by myself. But I actually it wasn't a good environment and I ended up I was struggling with my mental health and I ended up so I attempted to take my life, but it didn't work. I have jokes about this as well, because

nothing's off limits. And then it was after that that I was like when I survived, I spoke to my sister back home and decided to leave because I was quite unhappy. So I moved back to Perth by myself or with my sister. My sister and I lived together.

Speaker 1

You're struggling with mental health, but yeah, I tried to take your own life. What things must have been pretty grim for or what.

Speaker 2

I think before we even enjoyed the circus, I was already quite unhappy. I think, you know, that discovery of your parents being not who they you know, not what you thought they were, and I was still quite I think I was quite angry and upset at my parents, but also you know, my friend having passed away. I don't know. I just my teenage years was quite. I was. I struggled a lot with my mental health in my teens, and I used to self harm and stuff. Before emos were in old.

Speaker 1

You weren't.

Speaker 2

It wasn't a trend. Yeah, but yeah, I don't even know exactly why I was so unhappy. But yeah, I think it was a combination of yeah, my the things my parents were doing, and feeling like I think because things like I gloss over my childhood a lot, especially because I have a show to talk about my childhood,

I gloss over things. But there were definitely periods where it wasn't good, and uh, yeah, I think that obviously impacted me a bit, and and my parents being they were not happy either, So there was a lot of it was quite a volatile home sometimes yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

Okay, well it's not it's yeah, we're lucky if we grow up in an environment where you got the care and not the volatile type of situations you had. And yeah, you have an expectation that your dad's not dealing drugs and different things.

Speaker 2

But yeah, look, I don't think I cared as much about the dealing.

Speaker 1

It was the taking, Okay, on that, like, there would have been times when they yeah, you would have had to look after them because they're.

Speaker 2

Yeah, or more so just look after ourselves, because there was definitely periods where they took too much and they would you know, have venders and not coming out of their room for days and then when they did come out of the room, they'd be coming down, so they'd been grumpy. So yeah, there was there was definitely a period of time where we kind of just looked after ourselves.

Speaker 1

And did you share that with your siblings, your sister and your.

Speaker 2

Brother, probably more so me and my sister. My sister, her version of events is that she looked after us, which maybe she was a little bit older, so she you know, she probably I think as siblings often experience childhood differently to each other. Like I've spoken, you know, as I got old, us had chats with my brother and you know, learned things from him and his perspective that I never considered. By the time he was going you know, through his teenage years, and my sister had left,

so he was on his own with my parents. But by then they'd you know, joined the circus and then they left the circus. But then so, yeah, he had his own, he had his own experiences of childhood without us.

Speaker 1

Yeah as well, makes sense. Yeah, okay, well you've you've left the circus, you're going through some turmoil, gone back to Western Australia. Yeah, okay, what where did the Nikki's Excellent Adventure gave from me, so.

Speaker 2

Me and my sister got a house together. So we were sixteen and eighteen, and we managed to get a little rental ourselves right near my right up the road from my nana's house, because we moved in with my nana at first, and then my sister, so she didn't plan this, so we I think it might have been. I think we both when I left the circus because

we're in Queensland. When I decided to leave, my sister flew over and she was going to fly back with me, and we just ided to go and visit mom and dad and then you because they had settled down in this town, beautiful little rain for ust town, and so we were visiting them there before we flew back to Perth and we've moved in together, and then she suddenly found out she's pregnant at about I think she was

like two months into it. And I said, I will help you raise a baby, and I'll be the dad like I said I would I would, you know, I'll go to work, I'll bring home the income. So we've got a house together, and I got a job and I was earning like seven dollars an hour or something at a sleepermarket.

Speaker 1

I'm just looking at my introduction. Had I didn't say that you also became a young father?

Speaker 2

Yeah?

Speaker 1

Okay?

Speaker 2

And then but then I we had a falling out. So so my sister ended up moving back to Queensland and she ended up getting with the guy who fathered the baby and they ended up having another baby. So my sister moved back, I don't know just before, so I think that only lasted maybe seven or eight months because she moved back just before she had the baby, so she was like ready to pop and she moved back.

We were still getting along, but we'd fallen out over me having a much older boyfriend that she didn't approve of, which fair enough at the time, I thought she was just you know, being judgmental. How were you and I would have been sixteen seventeen and he was like almost thirty.

Speaker 1

Big life difference.

Speaker 2

Yeah yeah, but AMA's materna for my age.

Speaker 1

Look at your life choices.

Speaker 2

So she moved back, and then what did I do?

Speaker 1

Then?

Speaker 2

I would have been so I was working a supermarket and then it was while I was working there that I met my first like proper boyfriend. Not at the supermarket. I was just out. I think it was New Year's Eve. I was out drinking for New Years and I ran into someone on the news, so she's like dragged me

along to meet her friends. And then the countdown happened, and the countdown was happening, and everyone around us was like cheering, and some people were kissing, and this guy that I had n't met just was like looked at me. We just started started to start kissing. And then that was my boyfriend for the next couple of years.

Speaker 1

Of the thought went into that, Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good planning thought. Okay, so you're you're living over in WA, you've got casual work, you found the boyfriend, giving up your custody over your sister's child, ye, or did you take it to the courts?

Speaker 2

Yeah, let it go. I still offered child support but no. So I was with my boyfriend for about a year and then so my parents still lived in Queensland and by then they started working on the mind and then they were trying to get me to cut move over and they said that they could get me and my boyfriend a job on the mind soart that they were working on if we moved over. And so that's what we did. So I think when I was like eighteen, we moved over to Queensland so that we could work

on this mind site. So we did the whole like my mum, my dad and me and my brother ended up not immediately, but a few years later he ended up also where was that lived in cans and would fly and fly out.

Speaker 1

It's a tough gig, isn't it.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, well I go. I ended up doing Flying and fly Out for the next well, basically until I met my ex husband. So I did it for five.

Speaker 1

Years and money was good at that age.

Speaker 2

Yeah, the money was good, but probably too good for an eighteen year old because I was so me and the boyfriend broke up the company I worked for in Queensland. They were opening a new mine in wa a couple of hours out of Perth, and so I saw that as an opportunity to go home. So I put my hand up to go back over there, and so did

my parents. So we all ended up coming back to w A. I was, you know, when I was with my boyfriend, I was quite like settled, and then when I came back single and heartbroken for the first time, with all this money, I just partied. And that was my first sort of real party, proper party phase, I.

Speaker 1

Think, And where did that lead to meth?

Speaker 2

So I made friends, Like one of the first friends I made in that town was this girl, uh, and I didn't know that she was like that, you know, she had a bad reputation in town and she she did a lot of that And I didn't even know that that's what I was doing when I started doing it with her. Like I'd heard of I'd heard of meth and I'd seen on TV, like all these horror stories about crackheads and stuff, and I was like, oh, I'd never do that.

Speaker 1

And then it's almost there's almost like a social stigma, like you could be a junkie on yeah at the moment you yeah.

Speaker 2

But I think this was when I quite knew or if it was around before, we didn't know about it. And but I think this was when it was sort of like it was sort of emerging, and it was more on the news about cracket, especially the American crackets. It was when all those pictures would be Facebook of the American meth heads, which were quite confronting, and so I was like, oh, I would never do that. But then I was doing it without even knowing that that's what I was doing, because I guess I didn't ask

what am I taking right now? And it's very addictive. So out of all the drugs I've ever tried, that's the one that actually was really addictive and was really hard to stop doing.

Speaker 1

What these are about it, because I've had other people say that that they would try different drugs, but meth.

Speaker 2

You get the hit and it definitely yeah, so it definitely gives you like a feeling of euphoria and there's something addictive just in so eventually when I started smoking it, like the smoking is addictive and even just watching the swirl and but the feeling is like like it's very It gives you so much confidence. And I'm someone who I can be quite socially anxious. I didn't used to think I was, but I did realize I only when I thought I was a social butterfly was when I

was drunk and on drugs all the time. As soon as I tried to socialize sober, I was like, oh this is really hard. So uh yeah, it gave me a lot of confidence, I guess while I was on it, but it was such a high that the payoff or you know what it cost you was that the calm down and the low from it afterwards was worse than anything else I've ever had. So the calmdown was extraordinary, And yeah, it would put you in a really bad place mentally.

Speaker 1

When you when you started using meth, When did you realize that it got hold of you?

Speaker 2

I think my parents they tried to shape me out of it. So but at this because they went through periods of so when they left the circus, they weren't doing drugs anymore, and they went through a quiet period themselves. So at this time they were on the straight and narrow, and then I wasn't, and so they weren't silly. They could see the signs. They knew what I was probably doing.

And then because we all worked together, I was like taking a lot of sick days and being a bit unreliable, And so my parents ended up trying to intervene, and they told my boss and they wanted they actually my boss said that your dad thinks I should fire you, and I was like, that's a bit harsh. And then my boss ended up giving me a weird promotion. So it didn't make much sense at the time because he was He was just like, oh, well, are you unhappy

with your job? And so this chat that started with well with being told that you're on drugs and that's why you're being unreliable, But is it because you're unhappy? And would you like to do this role instead? So I never really understood that, but later it turned out so the boss was also a massive sleeve. So I think.

Speaker 1

I would imagine in that that industry, the fly and fly out, like I speak to female cops and female prison wardens, and in that male dominated industry, it would have been a lot of that in Yeah, yeah, you'd have to Yeah, you'd have to stand your ground.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, well I was. I did science for a few years, and uh, all them a lot of the men, would you know, pretend to be single and then you find out that they have families and kids at home. There was a lot of that. But yeah, it's it's not it's not a it's not a great environment.

Speaker 1

I think the and could you from a personal point of view, could you manage it like the sleeves, you could still take the job.

Speaker 2

But yeah, I think I've always been able to handle sleeze bags. I think because you learn to deal with them so young. But I also when I was working on the mine, I started doing skimpy bar work. So because I worked in a bar as well, I got a bar job, so that I was I had more money. And then because I can't remember what I was, because it was before I got on the meth quite badly, that I was like, I want to save up and I want to buy a house and all these things.

And so I had a second job. And then I don't even know how I even found out about it. Might have just been looking in the papers and seeing ads for skimpy bar mades. So I started doing skimpy.

Speaker 1

Barmoe, skimpy bar maids.

Speaker 2

So it's huge in Wa, not as big over here. So skimpy bar maids is bar stuff that where next to nothing. So it was like lingerie outfits and stuff behind the bar serving drinks, and it's it's huge in w as A. It's a big thing. Skimpys like make a lot of money in w A just for serving drinks in their bikinis or whatever.

Speaker 1

And get tips.

Speaker 2

Yeah, the tips, tips are good. And so I did that, and that I think helped me deal with sleeves, bags and just like laugh it off and.

Speaker 1

Okay, so you could push someone away and not take offense and just yeah heading stupid, Yeah you got no chance. Yeah yeah, Okay. So you're working in the mines, you're on meth, you're working this in the terrible Okay.

Speaker 2

So the myth, uh was it was probably I reckon maybe like six or seven months that I was doing it, Like I would have started off doing it, and it was on weekends, and then the weekends started getting longer. Yeah, so instead of just you know, Friday Saturday, then it would be Sunday, and then it would be Thursday, Friday Saturday, and then it would be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday. And these vendors would get longer. And then I think the wake up call for me was my mental health just

got so bad, uh. And I knew that it was because like it coincided with every time I partied, and so I knew I had to make a choice. So it took me a little while because I, you know, tried to stop doing it, but were still hanging around the same friends. And then I realized that if I was going to stop, I needed to change my friendship circle. And so I did because I didn't want to keep feeling so bad, right right.

Speaker 1

Okay, now from the skimpy bar, you also ended up stripping.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so that happened. So that happened after so I'd gotten another I was working somewhere else. By this time, I was doing five fay from Perth to Queensland for a construction site. I'd got made redundant. So this was two thousand and nine global financial crisis. We're in the middle of it, and so redundancy was a big thing at the time, and I got made redundant, and I just before I got made redundant, I'd met some strippers and I was hanging out, like on my week's home.

I was partying with these strippers. So I was parting a lot again. Yeah, But because this was every time i'd so, I got in another relationship and settled down for a little while, and then I was single again. So every time I ran amuck was when I was single, because as soon as I would get in a relationship, i'd settle down, I'd be good for a while, and

then single me would just be chaos. So I was saying I was newly I got made redundant, and I'd been hanging out with these new strip of friends that I'd met, and then I lost my job. I went to first, I went to Vegas, and I ended up in America for almost three months because while I was in Vegas, I was only meant to go for eight

days eight day holiday come back. While I was over there, I lost my passport while I was drunk in a night club and I couldn't get home, and so I had to end up going to la for like a week to try and sort that out because it was a long weekend in Australia and they observed the public holidays, so the embassy was shut. So it took me quite a while to figure out a new passport to get home.

And then by that time, I'd met these new people and they invited me to stay, and so I did, and so I stayed for almost three months before I came back. And then when I was I said I was obviously coming back to no job. I was chatting to my friend and I'd ran out of money and she was the stripper, and she booked me into a strip job the day I flew home from America. So I flew in jet lagged and did it. My first strip job that night. Okay, well it wasn't stripped, it was topless nude waitressing.

Speaker 1

Okay, And how did that feel? Jet lagged, tied, emotional.

Speaker 2

I probably took a big line of cocaine. I don't really remember. I do remember I remember having like I had fun. But yeah, I remember. I remember being because it was my first time, I was like, well, I won't go nude. I'll just do topless. And then within a couple of hours I've been offered enough money that I was like, okay, I'll go no, and I kind of just escalated from there.

Speaker 1

I can imagine how it would escalap from there. We're going to we're going to take a break, we'll leave you. We'll leave you as a stripper. But there's so much more to you. And that's such a fascinating, fascinating story and a good way you tell it. It's all life experiences, like you know, listen to it. Not everyone lives a normal, straight and narrow life. Things things happened. So thanks for being so open, the enormous of us. When we get back,

we'll explore your stripping career a little bit more. We'll talk about I want to get more of a sense of the life of the partner of a bike. And also we'll talk about your new career as a stand up comedian and I'm enjoying the chat.

Speaker 2

Thank you, sounds good.

Speaker 1

Cheers.

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