What's the plural for messy - in one person, I mean? We're about to find out as Jeff Epstein, host of Manic and co-host of Adderall & Compliments, joins Chelsea & Donny to discuss water and Bring It On, which is FINALLY available to stream! After Chelsea realizes which actress plays Big Red, Donny stomps on the patriarchy as he points out issues in the movie's iconic opening scene. Then, the three lust over Cliff Pantone and discuss dating apps, and Donny reveals more about his cancellab...
Jan 30, 2023•50 min•Ep. 59
If you couldn’t tell by Donny’s receding hairline and Chelsea’s creaky bones, it’s the 25th Anniversary of Spice World , and we are officially old! To celebrate, Hannah Brown, proud owner of the DVD, is here to recap the movie and share her praises of the girl group, including her favorite member (a distant relative?!) Chelsea’s nemesis is up to his old tricks as he comes for girl power and Dunkin Donuts, and Donny makes new nemisi of his own as Hannah and Chelsea (incorrectly) tell him that he’...
Jan 22, 2023•57 min•Ep. 58
Donny & Chelsea refuse to be Heigl'ed again as their resident Judy Greer expert, Quin Lamar, is back to celebrate the 15th anniversary of 27 Dresses while Donny celebrates Winnie the Pooh Day. The group discuss the rise (and fall) of Katherine “Nigel” Heigl, her character being a terrible friend/bridesmaid/sister, and the pure joy of being a wedding guest (as opposed to the horrors of being in the wedding party.) Also, with both his work husband and real husband in one place, Donny decides n...
Jan 15, 2023•58 min•Ep. 57
It's the 20th anniversary of Just Married , and to celebrate, Chelsea's daughter is projectile vomiting while podcast host, comedian, former snake kid, and goldfish brain, Tracey Carnazzo, realizes she's been Punk'd as she recaps the Ashton Kutcher/Brittany Murphy rom-com about terrible people that should not be together. Chelsea relives trauma about moving in with her (formerly dirty) husband, and Donny finally tells his meet cute story. Then, Tracey shocks the pair with stories of the worst ac...
Jan 08, 2023•53 min•Ep. 56
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like a recap of the (not) disaster movie, 'Poseidon!' First, Chelsea and Donny go over their highlights and lowlights of 2022 and begin manifesting for 2023 (including, but certainly not limited to, a Clearly Canadian sponsorship). Then, Donny manifests a wish that he was… literally anywhere else as Chelsea goes on a Ted Talk tangent about what constitutes a disaster film. The Cuties submit their worst New Year’s Eve, Donny shares more stories about peeing himself a...
Jan 01, 2023•50 min•Ep. 55
Your stockings are hung by the chimney with care, visions of sugarplums danced through your heads; now complete your holiday morning by listening to a recap of everyone's favorite Christmas movie that came out in April, "While You Were Sleeping!" Danny Murphy, the eyes and lips behind @kashmeredanny , starts the episode by giving Chelsea a recipe for a new holiday cocktail and Donny laments over business models he's too late to cash in on. Also, Chelsea and Danny pop Donny's bubble about which d...
Dec 25, 2022•56 min•Ep. 54
To cover "The Holiday," Ryan Sichelstiel (@rysic) signs up to do a house swap of his own, but finds he'll be staying in Hell as he spends the hour with a flu-ridden Chelsea and Donny, who are hopped up on NyQuil and hot toddies, respectively. White Lotus- inspired fan theories, fat holes, Viagra sponsorships, and Imogeon Heap sing-a-longs are brought up in the duo's sickness-induced haze. Then, the Three Musketeers of podcasting discuss the importance of foreplay. Also, Donny may be the main cha...
Dec 18, 2022•53 min•Ep. 53
No, you're not delirious, it's not some mistake; and that's not a Heartquake you're feeling - it's excitement. That’s right - the hosts of Beyond the Blinds podcast are joining Chelsea and Donny to celebrate one year of I Am The Cute One covering nostalgic millennial favorites! The four recap (and we use that term loosely) the made-for-VH1 holiday hit (and we don’t use that term loosely), A Diva’s Christmas Carol . The group debates which celebrity they’d let treat them like dirt, what constitut...
Dec 11, 2022•54 min•Ep. 52
It’s a family affair this week as Chelsea’s brother, the artist of our generation, joins our hosts to recap “Home for the Holidays,” which… is a strange movie to make a family holiday staple, if you’re asking Donny. Also, Donny finally feels what it’s like to be shocked to hear people’s childhood trauma when the siblings share stories about odd graduation presents, triggering family vacations, and an infamous bartender from their hometown. Then, Chelsea’s brother and Donny team up to make fun of...
Dec 04, 2022•54 min•Ep. 51
Claire Parker, comedian and co-host of Celebrity Memoir Book Club, joins Chelsea and Donny to recap “When Harry Met Sally” (not with Wikipedia’s help). She also offers business advice to the podcasting duo and helps them answer questions that nobody asked. Later, Chelsea issues an official apology to Meg Ryan while Donny’s feud with Nora Ephron grows stronger. Also, Claire bonds with Donny as they lust over Billy Crystal, and later, she and Chelsea bond over Big Bad Beetleborgs (…what?) Worth me...
Nov 27, 2022•53 min•Ep. 50
Happy Anniversary, ya filthy animals. As on brand as Chelsea and Donny could be, they recap Home Alone with Jenna Barclay to celebrate the 30th Anniversary... of Home Alone 2. (In their defense, it's the 32nd Anniversary of the first movie, but who celebrates a 32nd Anniversary?) Also on brand, the duo also discusses what exactly "aged like Blockbuster" means - after 49 episodes. Then, the three argue over if Kevin deserved this treatment from his family - or the Wet Bandits. Also, the Cuties su...
Nov 20, 2022•58 min•Ep. 49
While every entertainment website known to man was busy putting "You've Got Mail" at the top of their "Best Fall Movies of All Time" lists, Donny was busy putting Tom Hanks at the top of his "Most Hated Celebrity" list, and he spends the entirety of this episode trying (and failing) to convert Chelsea and their guest, meme queen behind viral Instagram account @daddyissues_ and host of "Almost Adulting" podcast, Violet Benson, to his side. After Donny's rant against Tom (and Nora Ephron), Chelsea...
Nov 13, 2022•53 min•Ep. 48
Daylight Savings Time ends today, so Donny and Chelsea are rolling the clocks back to 2002, when (somebody's?) quintessential Autumn movie, "Sweet Home Alabama," was easier to watch. (Maybe it's still easy for you, and it's just these two pig-headed liberals having a tough go at it...) Donny wishes this MAGA love letter included a makeover so the audience would know when Melanie becomes unlikeable while Chelsea recalls not vomiting while her husband proposed with a sock. Also, Donny watches dogs...
Nov 06, 2022•56 min•Ep. 47
Gwen Carole is not in the back seat, but she is on the podcast to recap “Urban Legend” with Chelsea and Donny. Chelsea’s face blindness is partially cured, but she still finds a way to be Donny’s very own urban legend when she refers to Loretta Devine as… well, you’ll see. However, Gwen makes up for it when she name drops a few celebrities; it’s like Christmas! Then, the three try to figure out why Alicia Witt was cast as our final girl (they don’t come up with an answer.) Final warning: be care...
Oct 29, 2022•54 min•Ep. 46
This week, Hannah Brown is forced to hang out with two Bug’s Life kids for an hour to discuss the Seinfeld of Halloween movies, Practical Magic. More happens in these 52 minutes than did in the entirety of the film, but Hannah learns that may not be a good thing when the conversation turns to chickenpox parties and unhinged sisterly bonding. Also, Chelsea creates a sequel that already exists… and is quite beloved. To hear (or watch) this recap in its unedited, unhinged entirety, head to our newl...
Oct 23, 2022•54 min•Ep. 45
Deputy Editor of US Weekly and host of “Here For the Right Reasons” podcast, Sarah Hearon, joins Donny and Chelsea to recap ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ and the duo may have done research to pronounce her last name correctly, but they still don’t know a damn thing about the movie they’re covering. The three praise the Scholastic Book Fair, IMDB, and Kevin Bacon’s “The Following.” Also, they dig into horrifying childhood trauma and Donny is forced to send a HR form to Sarah when Chelsea rev...
Oct 16, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 44
Chelsea continues to celebrate spooky season by dressing as things that Donny hates, while he sports his best cosplay (it's just a varsity jacket and a pen up his nose) as they recap "The Faculty" with Tom Hamlett of Dumpster Dive podcast. Chelsea and Donny bond over tough coaches in the sports world before she horrifies him with stories of when she micro dosed....well, you'll see. But the roles quickly reverse when Donny terrifies everyone with stories of his cat's anus. Then, Mrs. Jacquette is...
Oct 09, 2022•56 min•Ep. 43
Happy Spooky Season! What's scarier than the last twenty minutes of "The Craft?" An hour of Donny and Chelsea, uninterrupted and unleashed! That's right - this week, the duo is guestless as they recap the 1996 classic that "inspired" Charmed. Chelsea discusses the murderers that helped raise her while Donny relives childhood trauma brought on by his neighbor that ended up in jail. Then, Donny and Chelsea reclaim "homely" and the Cuties submit the craziest rumors spread about them. Finally, Donny...
Oct 02, 2022•56 min•Ep. 42
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. .. and Donny and Chelsea fell in love with the master class in comedy that is "Twilight." With the help of Melissa Kristin, they recap Part I of the only vampire saga that doubles as a "how to" guide in toxic relationships. They discuss how much of an idiot Bella is, the logistics of why the Cullen's plan to blend in is the worst, and Alice's bad haircut. Then, the vampire baseball game (naturally) leads to a conversation about ruining Thanksgiving. La...
Sep 25, 2022•56 min•Ep. 41
It’s all happening (although Donny wishes it wasn't) this week, as Selle Brooks of the "Who Asked Me?" podcast joins him and Chelsea to recap her favorite movie, "Almost Famous." Chelsea explains her roots as a classic rock aficionado, Selle talks about buying a denim thong, and Donny calls everyone ugly. Then, the most shocking thing to ever be revealed on this podcast comes to light: Chelsea is NOT the younger sibling in her family. Also, the Cuties share stories of jobs they were severely und...
Sep 18, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 40
"You're too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here." It's Noor's birthday, and to celebrate, Donny and Chelsea do what they do best: horrify her. Donny shares his quarantine routine while Chelsea rants and plans for her inevitable demise in someone's basement. Then, Donny educates on the logistics of gloryholes and Noor educates on how centuries work. Shout out to Granny Panties AND Donny's Grandmother, because both are putting in the hard work. Also, the Cuties submi...
Sep 11, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 39
Maybe Donny helped a mermaid because this week, his wish is coming true! He and Chelsea finally recap the movie he has been begging to cover since the podcast began: Aquamarine! They're joined by the hilarious co-host of "Awkward Stage," Alina Bock, who didn't live off of sardines for a month in preparation, but she did bring the German translation of the title, which now needs to be a staple of the podcast, tbh. Alina does her best to get Donny to become a Gilmore Boy and warns him the dangers ...
Aug 28, 2022•56 min•Ep. 38
This is a podcast about nostalgia, but you should know upfront, this is not a nostalgia podcast. It's just chaos unleashed, and Carlos (@thenostalgiclatino) learns that quickly when he joins Chelsea and Donny to recap "500 Days of Summer." The trio discuss manic pixie dreamgirls ( who Donny refuses to believe Chelsea ever was) , karaoke styles, hanging out with coworkers, and dates at Ikea (Swedish meatballs are mandatory!) Also, Chelsea finally won because Donny goes full feminist with his hatr...
Aug 21, 2022•56 min•Ep. 37
Chelsea is out of a wig and in a full sweat as she and Donny are joined by that bitch (and future wedding MC) from Instagram, Christian Gray Snow, to recap the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore classic, "The Wedding Singer" and bond over Princess Diana merch. Her dad has food poisoning, Donny is making Beanie Babies have sex, and Christian understands why abortion would be mentioned in a wedding speech. Also, Christian and Donny share their taste in (terrible) men while Chelsea gets feminasty about th...
Aug 14, 2022•53 min•Ep. 36
Get in, Loser, we're recapping 'Mean Girls!' Donny unblocks everyone's favorite "basic bitch historian," Jenna Barclay, for the week to discuss the Lindsay Lohan classic. While nobody should be learning anything fresh about this movie in the year 2022, Donny is learning new things about poppers; the (recreational?) drug may be new to Donny, but this movie is not, as he's a three-time "Mean Girls" trivia champion. PSA: Donny's rants about Aaron Samuels do not reflect Jenna and Chelsea's opinions....
Aug 07, 2022•56 min•Ep. 35
“ It ain’t ova, b*tch.” But Donny’s career in podcasting is, as he will ultimately be cancelled for his accent work and acting choices during this “Save the Last Dance” recap with Kendrick Tucker of “Reality and Comics Too” podcast. The dark (in more ways than one) opening makes Chelsea realize why she left sleepovers early, and her passion for Julia Stiles’ pullout couch makes Donny realize he doesn’t want to sleepover at her house anymore. Then, Chelsea reminisces about her time at the Thirsty...
Jul 31, 2022•56 min•Ep. 34
Idiots actually are all around, and Jen (Instagram’s @blocked_by_jax ) discovers that quickly when she helps Donny and Chelsea recap “Love Actually” in honor of Christmas in July. The three realize that the movie does not hold up - at all - and Chelsea realizes that characters that don’t speak still need someone to write for them and judges Donny for being on “a lot” of cruises. Then, Donny and Jen get in a fight over Ashley Tisdale’s “Last Christmas,” and he crowns one of the movie’s actors as ...
Jul 24, 2022•56 min•Ep. 33
When "Easy A" was picked as this week's movie, Donny and Chelsea knew right away who they wanted to cover it with. Enter Nava and Sophie, co-hosts of "Podcrushed," the podcast where Penn Badgley reads your middle school story. What Sophie and Nava didn't realize, though, is that if they are the "scholarly" nostalgia podcast, "I Am The Cute One" is the equivalent of walking into a monkey's cage at the zoo. Donny demands they tell their Gleek status within the first five minutes of the show before...
Jul 17, 2022•57 min•Ep. 32
It's a menagerie this week as Donny and Chelsea are joined by Melissa Beck of "The Real World: New Orleans" to discuss one of her top two movies (and it's not number two), "Welcome to the Dollhouse." In perhaps their deepest and most scholarly episode yet, the three relive their middle school trauma as they dissect the dark but lovely film and praise the versatile actresses of their time, Jennifer Aniston and Mandy Moore. Donny tries his best to not make Melissa feel old, Melissa makes Donny swe...
Jul 10, 2022•53 min•Ep. 31
Chelsea and Donny are not letting Dick run their life, but they are letting Ryan Bailey (someone who likes to eat ass on camera) celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Watergate with them by recapping the 1999 Kirsten Dunst/Michelle Williams movie, "Dick." Ryan spends the episode trying to figure out who the target audience was for this movie while Chelsea spends the episode giving history lessons. Then, Ryan shares a story about his worst date and Donny educates them on the early 2000s gay porn, "Th...
Jul 03, 2022•55 min•Ep. 30
