I am all In.
I Am all in with Scott Patterson, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I'm all in podcast, one on one Interview, one eleven productions. iHeartRadio, iHeart Media, iHeart Podcasts. I'm joined by Susanne French. Hello Suzanne, and we are gonna talk to Elizabeth Abbott. Elizabeth, thank you so much for joining us. Let me get into a little bit of who you are and what you're about. You portrayed Rosemary four episodes and Rosemary is one of the ladies
who hangs out with Finn Life of Death Brigade. You were an actress for best known for this role and also for making a few TV appearances Young and Restless and I Carly no longer acting. But you're a licensed marriage and Family therapist, a master level psychotherapist who work with adults and teens who are dealing with mental health issues, relationships, or life transitions. How fascinating. Welcome to the podcast. So
great to have you, Elizabeth. First off, tell us how you first got the role on Gilmore.
Well, first of all, thank you for having me. This is really fun. So I had been in LA for just a couple of years, and had done a bunch of commercials and had an agent and a manager, and we were just, you know, grinding all the auditions as one does. And when the audition for Gilmore Girls just came up, and I wanted it so badly, and I had to act so cool, like I didn't want it that badly, but I really wanted it. Was it ended up being my first TV job.
You were smart. You were smart, Sorry, but you were smart to act that like you didn't want it. Yeah, because that shows that you understand the psychology in that that works against you if you want it too badly.
Exactly. I played it. I played it so cool.
So you were already familiar with the show when you auditioned.
I was. I was a fan of the show. It had debuted when I was in college, and my my mom is a single mom, divorced mom. I'm an only daughter, and so it's sort of it was sort of our show. She would this like dates me, but she would tape the episodes on VHS tapes and either mail them to me at college or or she just saved them up for when we had watched together when I would be at home.
So yeah, yeah, that's fantastic. Did you know that it would be a recurring role when you when you booked that first one.
Nope, Uh, it was supposed to be just a co star, and then they just the next one was a guest star, and they just kept bringing us back. And I felt like, you know, I won the latto every time because it was unexpected.
But yeah, so what was it like working with Alexis Bdell?
Alexis was lovely. I was so nervous that the first uh, I mean the first scene that we filmed was in the Chinese restaurant. I don't know if you remember, but uh, and it was Alexis and Matt Zukri and Alan and Tank and his name was Wayne I think, who played Marty, and of course Ricky Lyndholm. Ricky and I were always together, and uh, they had all filmed, I mean so much together, and I was, you know, I was really nervous that
we wouldn't get in and click right away. But Alexis and Matt and all the guys were so welcoming right off the bat and made us feel right at home, and you know, it started clicking.
Mm hm.
Yes, Finn was always trying to get with your character wasn't he he was.
There was a there was a point where I think I was like, not that too, not too opposed to it as well.
So when was the last time you watched an actual episode?
Well, I revisited an episode last night in preparation for this because I hadn't I hadn't seen it in quite a while, and I was like, what what was that?
Like?
It's really fun, it's really fun to watch.
And remember, do you get recognized for role?
I don't get recognized, you know, randomly on the street, but in the work that I do now as a therapist. So many people have this show as their comfort show that they watch over and over again. And a lot of what we do is we talk about resources, you know, the things in your life that make you feel a little bit safer, a little bit calmer. And so people are always coming. So I was rewatching Gilmore Girls, and is there something you want to tell me?
Right right, right right?
You know, I had one client several years ago who was mad that they hadn't known beforehand. So now if I have a new client who mentions that they like the show, I say, okay, don't be weirded out. But you know, season's five and six are going to see me pomp up. We can talk about it.
Or not whatever, but yeah, that's fascinating. We're going to talk a little bit more about what you do now a little bit later on the interview. But that's that's I have a lot of stories about that as well. Yeah, when I meet people. Yeah, so did you lie? Did you see the episodes in Netflix? The episodes? Do you like how they brought the Life and Death Brigade back?
Oh?
The new ones? I have to admit I didn't watch them. I haven't watched them yet because I don't know if I loved my experience in seasons five and six so much that I just kind of I kind of wanted to let it be what it was. Sure, maybe I'll go back now.
And you did a few more TV gigs with Young and the rest as I Carly, When did you decide to leave acting?
I had, you know, as an actor, there's a lot of downtime. It's incredible when you're working or when you're auditioning. But I had a lot of time where I needed I felt like I needed something a little bit more. So. I had gone back to grad school, was doing that on nights and weekends just for the sort of education of it. And I had also had a lot of therapy. You need a lot of therapy when you're an actress
in your twenties in Los Angeles. And I just loved going to her office every week so much that I was like, I maybe I can do this. So I tried to stuggle both for a while. I was doing both for a while, and then there came a point where I just had to, you know, fully commit to building a private practice, and you know, I found it really really fulfilling.
Was there was there a moment for you that you recall that were you made that decision to leave acting. Was it a specific incident, was it just a moment that you remember.
I don't know if I ever made the decision to leave acting, Like, honestly, if something came along now, I would love to to, you know, I'd love to act again. So I feel like it was less leaving acting and more finding psychotherapy, finding this other passion right and.
And and why you say you were in therapy. You sought out therapy in your twenties being an actress in LA Why did you seek therapy If I'm not getting too personal if you want to talk about it, know that.
I mean I'm biased. I think that everyone should have stuff to work out in therapy.
Yeah.
Actually I actually feel the same way. I think everybody can benefit from therapy absolutely.
You know, it was it was a time of a lot of changes, a lot of transitions, also coping with all the stuff that you know, actors and artists go through, you know, the rejection and the procrastination, and the sort of financial ups and downs and the effect on your relationships and all those things. And it was so.
It's a lot.
And I just it felt so well. And you know, there's always like family of origin stuff as well. You know, we've all got our stuff. So it was just such an enormously healing and supportive space for me. For several years there, I kind of wanted to kind of wanted to create my own space to be able to do that for other people.
All Right, So you get your bachelor's in science and your master's in psychology. When did your interest in mental health begin? Was it when you were getting into therapy? Before that?
I think, well, I had always been a theater kid, and you know, you know, I was a journalism major in college, but I was also in this three year acting class and did theater in college and things like that, and acting and psychology are not at all, not at all different. I mean, the way that you know I was taught and I learned to approach a character as
an actor is very much what we do. You know, you're you're thinking about why this character is the way that they are, What has happened in their life that makes them the way that they are, and that way of thinking. Also just the listening and being with someone and connecting and all of those things. It was such a natural, kind of organic transition that I found myself always, you know, already thinking that way through the acting training.
Yes, in the training that you draw up a psychological probi file for your character. You fill it out in detail if you can. Here's a question for you, and it's a personal question because I've experienced this. I'm sure you've experienced every actor experiences this. How do you take on the persona or the psychology of another character the day ends, you go home? What do you do to flush your brain out and to flush your soul? What is what are the best techniques that you have found
to help people do that? Is it meditation, Is it taking a hot bath? What is it?
For me? It was always had to get back into my body, into my physicality, and you know the hot shower, sure movement of some kind. And then also you know, connecting with the people who I love in my life, you know, having a partner or a friend to come home to and debrief at the end of the day.
So what happens to the actor that is isolated away from their family, playing a hugely demanding role emotionally speaking, and then comes home to an empty condo?
I mean, that's what what what weren't.
What kind of uh, what kind of issues would that actor or actress be dealing with if they were doing that over the film home?
Shoot?
Oh god, what would they be facing? What dangers could they be facing? I mean, can it get dangerous? Can it get you know, really impairing.
I'm sure it could get really dangerous. Loneliness is I feel like the artist is lonely. A lot of the time, it seemed. Loneliness seems to be whether it's somebody who's out of town working on something, or even you know, in a cast of other people. That's one of the things that keeps coming up over and over again when
I'm working with actors and artists. So for me, it's about building a community of supportive, present individuals, whether that's through face time, calls back home, or whether that's debriefing with your you know, with your cast made, with your scene partner, taking the time to I mean it's if you're working on something out of town, it's an exhausting, you know, twelve sixteen hour day, maybe it's been a
night shoot. You're exhausted. But taking the time to, you know, debrief with someone, with the people you've been working with over dinner or breakfast or whatever it is afterwards, that connection and support I think can be really essential, right.
Is So what's your perspective on the psychological aspects of the the laurel I and Rory relationship?
Oh, let's un back it. Yeah, mother daughter relationships are complex, I think, kind of almost universally complex. There can be the most love and support and understanding, and also mothers and daughter push each other's buttons like nobody else.
Would you think that Lorelei and Rory could have benefited from some therapy individual or group therapy together? And if so, what do you think their issues are?
I think Lorelei and Rory would have loved therapy, you know they they would with all the fast talking, they would make that fifty minutes last. They really would get a lot.
Out of it.
There's the spinoff right there. Lorelei and Rory go to therapy.
Oh my gosh, Amy call me. Yeah, No, I mean we're talking intergenerational trauma when we bring Emily into it, all of these expectations and bucking the expectation, and each generation wanting to be their own person, but also really wanting and needing the approval of their mother. Again, all the generations.
Yeah, do you think do you think laurel I smothered Rory?
Do I think she? I don't think she smothered Rory. It seemed to be a pretty mutual relationship for most of it. They really went through it when you know, Rory was going through it on her own during the during the Yale seasons. But they were able always to repair. And again that's the most important part, right. It's not about whether we're talking about a mother daughter relationship or we're talking about, you know, a romantic partnership. It's not
about do you have conflict do you fight? Right, It's about how do you repair Do you turn away from each other or do you turn toward each other?
Right? Right, right? Right? What do you think about the Rory Logan relationship and Rory losing somewhat of her personality within that relationship and being in you know, very murky deep waters with that relationship. To talk about that a little bit, Why is she in that relationship?
Why is she in that relationship? I mean, look, as a fan, I was always team Jess. I'm going to be honest, but Matzi Freeze so lovely. I can absolutely see how everyone has fallen for a Logan, including Rory. But I I kind of think that if whether or not there was a Logan, I think Rory was kind of destined to lose her you know what, during college anyway.
It was such a massive change for her, being in an environment with with a lot of folks, a very different background, being away from her mother, and this you know, sort of magical talent that she had had grown up in trying to find her place there no longer being the best at everything. Boy, that's a really really common thing, right.
For the right everybody's gifted here.
I think, yeah, I think I think she was gonna need to act out a little bit in order to find who the heck she was.
Going back to your own experience, do you have any like good stories or your favorite memories from being on set, Like any moments that really stood out to you from the episodes that you were in.
I mean, every time hanging out with the guys, the Life and Death Brigade guys, and Ricky of course, who played Juliette. We just had so much fun. It was I mean, of course it was my first TV job. Prussia was on You've got to talk very fast, it had to be dead letter perfect, all of those things. But hanging out with that crew, it was a party.
It was a party every time. And at least two of the episodes they were night shoots, and I remember during one of them, somebody had set up a karaoke machine off the set, and so people were just getting silly and in the middle of the night, and it was just a really, really fun environment.
Yeah, that's great. Okay, back to the psychology. Do you think that do you think Emily damaged?
Damage is a really loaded word. I think that she had incredibly specific and high expectations and Laura I wanted something different and neither one of them could meet in the middle. Do I think there's trauma there between the two of them, Absolutely, just like there is between Laura, l I and Rory and Emily and Rory, and do I think gets unsalvageable? Absolutely not. Man, if those two would have just talked a little bit, you know again,
I'm just pushing therapy. It's such a pusher. But if they had gotten into it, into an office where Emily didn't hold the sort of ultimate status and they could just talk with each other like humans, like mothers, I don't know, things might have been different.
Where do you practice you practice in La or where do you practice in La?
I see clients all across California, But I live in Burbank, and before I went telehealth just a few months ago, my office was on Riverside Drive, looking right over the Warner Bros.
Lot.
Can't escape that lot.
We're going to play a little game called rapid fire. Doesn't mean you have to answer the questions quickly. Uh, We'll just called it rapid fire. How do you like your coffee, Elizabeth?
I like with oat milk and a lot of it, really a lot of it.
Okay, are you what we already answered this one your team? Just who is your favorite Gilmore girls couple? Luke and Laurel I or Emily and Richard?
Oh gosh, so different? So different? Is it really insulting if I? If I choose Emily and Richard, they're just such a.
Delight personally insulting If it feels like you're attacking me, I'm stunned. What about Luke and Laurel? I talk about Luke and Laurel I a little bit?
Why?
Why? Go ahead? Sorry, go ahead?
Talk about a couple who needed to talk and to improve their communications skill, such a such love and such support, and every time it went wrong it was because of something that could have been sorted out with just a little bit of a little bit of communication.
Yeah, he wasn't famous for his communication skills, and nor was she, but I think she was a little better at it a little.
But also, you know, she had a lot of pride. She was at Gilmour after all, a lot of pride.
Right, Okay, would you rather work with Michelle or Kirk?
Well, they're both so efficient in their own ways. I but I think Michelle and I would really would really get along.
Really. Yeah, Well, why do you why Michelle.
He makes me laugh every time he comes on screen, so I imagine, but he would do the same in an office environment.
What would you order at Luke Steiner?
Coffee of course, and more coffee.
Who would you rather hang out with? Paris or Lane?
I would probably want to go to the rock Show.
With Lane, but didn't have Paris as a patient.
Paris would be a difficult patient because she would really want to control the whole session. But here's the thing. I got a little bit of Paris in me too, so maybe we would be fast friends. Is that right?
But what part of Paris do you have in you? What part would that be?
I mean, I really like things the way that I like things. I have learned to be so much more flexible. Right.
Are you happier as a result of that?
Absolutely?
Yeah? Harvard or Yale or drop out and live in the.
Poolhouse Northwestern University?
There you go? Is that where you went?
I went?
Yeah?
I would you rather attend a daar event with Emily or a town meeting with Taylor?
Town meeting one?
You must like to sweat for fourteen solid hours and winter clothes in summer.
Oh, you got to remember, I was always part of the Yale crew. I never got to visit Stars Hollow never so sad.
Yeah, Gilmore Girl's character you would want as a roommate.
Paris really very clean, yes really yeah, would keep things very clean and orderly. And you know what she is a ride or die. She will have your.
Back, huh something in your life. You are all in.
On m.
My family they're great. I really like them, and also my private practice. I also really not in a weird way, but I really love and respect and admire all of my clients.
Okay, so how would prospective patients get in touch?
They can get in touch through my website which is fulfillinglifetherapy dot com and I'm on you know, Instagram and TikTok talking about mental health a little bit, so they can look me up on my on not too.
Excellent, Elizabeth. It has been an intense pleasure talking to you. Good luck with your practice.
Thank you.
Yeah, maybe we'll see you back on the boards as it were, inhabiting another role. But it was a pleasure talk and you getting to tell you a little bit and sharing your thoughts on your experiences on Gilmore Girls. All you too, Thank.
You, hey everybody, and to forget.
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