Music Welcome to the episode of Husbands Watching Housewives. I'm Scott. And I'm Jeff and we just. Watched episode of The Real Housewives of Miami. Sure did like. How it kind of cut you off guard? You like what? I know you start recording. Yeah. No, we're going here. We are here. We. Are my cholesterol is high? Are you happy now? Like right before that they started. I went to the doctor today. I did a whole barrage of like, I've had things wrong with me.
So I just went in and was like, my back hurts, my ankle hurts. I got this weird thing on my abdomen and I get this thing up here and I'm up blood. I did the whole thing. So everything's fine. As far as I know, my ankle isn't damaged. My cholesterol is slightly high. That's the moral of that story. But my liver, my liver is back in check. It's good. That's good. We got to work on my cholesterol. Well, so do you, Mr. High Cholesterol. That's not high.
Yours was high. That was the one thing about your test results that was slightly high. Oh, it was. Well, that was from the insurance thing. That's everything like. So yes, I think you mentioned it like a couple weeks back that I want to get life insurance inspired by Teddy Mullenkamp. So yeah, so it came, it's finalized and I got the life insurance. So if anything happens, knock on wood. If anything happens, it was his idea. It wasn't mine. I didn't. Nothing.
Wasn't me, but as they run all these tests, and yes, it wasn't me, my cholesterol was slightly high. So yeah, we got to work on that. We might be a maya's high too. We are men in our 40s who like the couch. I think everyone's classical. Too much? Yeah, like not working out enough. We don't eat too much like you eat.
I mean we. I do eat like I I'm not a grazer, but like when I find a snag, I'll just like keep going back to it. So I'm not like grazing about all different snacks, but I'll like, especially I'm working from home. It's like, oh, let me get the ships. Let me go back, Let me go back. OK, so you're telling me I need to like, whack your hand when you go for the chips? Yeah.
Or just. Snacks at home, like this afternoon I was like, you know, have those little enchiladas and I was like, well, there's some chips and sauce with it and like, I just ate like half the bag. I'm like, well, that's ridiculous. Calm it down. Cut. It all right, understandable, but no, I, I, I think that it's, you know, if you talk to any, like it's the first time I had high cholesterol or something. I think I talked to my doctor
and I was like, is that bad? He's like, well, I mean, do you like eating red meat? Then? Yeah, you're gonna have high cholesterol. Just basically like anytime like you just are our age and you eat certain things, it's gonna just be bad for you. And it's just a matter of not eating them excessively, which we don't I think we keep very. Good, but like it could we could cut down like do we need the other night go out and. Get pizza. I Yes, yes.
If I had to cook that night, could you imagine eating that mushroom dish at home? You would have died. I would have died for you. It wasn't the best. Was not the best. So yeah, we needed to go out for our own sanity. So there's a trade off of sanity versus mental health versus physical health. Yeah. But anyway, Meanwhile, Miami. Miami, unless you want. To know about this morning. I'm good, I just think it all. Comfortable, get comfortable.
I'm to remind people to check us out on the socials and go to our new website, husbandswatchinghousewives.com. Yep Yep, technically you just type in husbands watching housewives and like hit control enter and it puts all the other stuff around it for you. Welcome to 2002. It's a long title, it is. Nobody else is going to.
Nobody else has it right. So I was realizing when I was bringing I so I brought our little business cards over to my brother's house today and I just left them on the entry table. I realized that we probably should have them and say like husband's watching Housewives, a Real Housewives podcast. Doesn't. Sound kind of horny like. I never thought about that. Yeah, because we are like the last people who would be like making housewife porn.
Well said facts. But also, I think we thought about more so having this these at Bravo Con, where of course you can't say housewives without thinking Real Housewives. But so we might need to make 2 sets of like kind of promotional materials, some that say like Housewives podcast. Right, even if you go if you go to the link tree is like scream housewives no Real Housewives. Right, exactly. So maybe I mean the people that we're trying to get there, they
will understand. But I guess if we're looking for people who don't, what is this about? They're like, is this not a rewatch of Desperate Housewives? Yes. Are they not? Just no, it is not. They 2 gay men talking about why they their their straight marriages failed. Oh see all sorts of different things so. So many iterations. But yeah, I think we we'll work on it. We'll get the marketing, get the marketing right, All right. But meanwhile on Miami.
Yeah, so it was 80s. So that's why I'm wearing the shirt of Heather's. That's my favorite movie. It happens to be an 80s movie, 1989. That's what I got to say about that, yeah. But I mean, it's great. What's your damage? Which I've seen that movie so many times. I just know it like backwards and forwards and yeah. Is that the fuck me gently with a chainsaw? Movies it is. Yeah, I didn't. I had never seen, I had never seen Heather's until that point
in a certain point in my life. But my friends in junior high would always say that, and I had no idea what they were talking about. I was like, yeah, that's funny. Well, it's funny to me, like I grew up watching the censored version. It was always on Cosmic Comedy Central back in the day, was it? Fluff me gently with a chain they. Would just like bleep it out together but I've been sitting and they would cut out certain scenes and then when I watched the unedited version I was like
oh look at that. Nice. It is. It's my favorite. The the best things ever is watching a Martin Scorsese movie on cable or on network television, like when they played like Goodfellas or Casino on like CBS. Once time I mean. That's when you get all the creative swear words. You're like, yeah, you gosh darn melon farmer, you know, things like that. So. So anyways, we're the 80s aerobics on the boat. And oh, the Virgin, the Virgin
cruise continues, right? Which I don't know, there's like 1 scene where they show, I think Larsa wasn't walking across the deck meeting them somewhere. And then Lisa, Lisa, I don't know the rest of that. They could have, they could have been at port. I'm just saying I don't know really. See your theory Did we walk on the moon? Yes, we did walk on the moon. But yeah, I hear what you're saying. What you're saying. Go ahead and move on. Carry on. Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah. So we're doing Indians aerobics, blah, blah, blah, like leg warmers. And then we cut to this Lisa Larsa finally, you know, they both apologize. They got to a good place. We. I miss you. I don't want to hurt you. Let's leave it there. Never address anything else, never bring Jodi around, never talk about Marcus. Like, let's just live in this happy little bubble into the reunion. It was Marisol earlier who was like, you just got to let the details go like. Don't, Alexia.
Alexia just don't harp on the details and then she harps a little bit on the details. I thought it was going to go poorly after that. I. Thought surprised. I thought that she'd be annoyed that it didn't seem that Larsa or Lisa apologized enough. But it's feel like we're so largely eating right, eating it. But I don't know. As long as they're fight in this moment because of course, you know, they're at each others throats. Reunion, I'm sure.
So it was fight at this moment. That was cool. And then we get to the spot. So the whole spa thing was just like more of a party than the relaxing spa situation. I mean, it seemed to me like if I had a bunch of friends and I was like, hey, they're letting us use the spa for whatever we want. It'd be like, yeah, let's get a couple spa treatments, but then let's just party.
Let's break out. Champagne, I'd be more like, let's go in. This is like something where they should have been going in shifts because there's too many. It's like there's nine of them and there's too many at like at one point to like actually feel like you're relaxing. You know, I can see. But then we have this Alexia Stephanie scene of they realize, I feel like there's going to be like straight up, it's a big business. Like Oh my God, are we separate? Like you have a sister.
I'm talking I have. A. You were just. Talking to You're an alpha, I'm an alpha. This, this whole when she said like, I'm an alpha too. I'm just like, oh, are you an empath as well? Chris and Rodi? I was just like, there's certain things. That's Adriana. Oh, but there's just certain. But Chris and Doty as well, she said she was an empath. There's things like when someone says they're an empath, they're
they're not an empath. The same way that if someone has to say they're an alpha, they're not an alpha. It's. It's just like, again, if I after they say that I'm rich, I'm not that rich, you know, that sort of thing. It whispers. Exactly, wealth whispers. Yeah. So. So, but yeah. But I'm glad they had the conversation and like, well, the. Conversation was more like we get to a good place by throwing Marisol under the bus.
Right, which is exactly what Marisol did kind of back to earlier was like, it was really, you know, talk to Alexia about it and they're just like pointing at each other. I wonder if that's been their MO all along. Yeah, From what I recall, it seemed very mutual that day they got up and they're like, we both feel uncomfortable. She might leave us in this in Marabella. Let's just not go, period. It didn't seem like one or the
other was leading the charge. It was Alexa who wrote the text because she would word it the best. To me, I see that's where I think you and I have disconnected on this. So like, the entire time, I feel like it was always Marisol's idea. Like Alexia wasn't even thinking about not going until Marisol was just like, I don't know, like, I don't want to be left there. And then Alexia was like, yeah, you're right, You're right, Yeah.
They both seem to be bothered the night before when Stephanie said this is a seating chart, this is how it's gonna go. And if anyone pisses me off, I'm gonna leave them like Marisol was like, oh, I feel like they made I. I think and. Yeah, like kind of mutual like this is. You're not wrong, but I think, I think Alexia would have been like, well, whatever. But once Marisol like, said it out loud, she's like, yeah, me too, you know? So yeah.
But regardless, it was dumb. Stephanie would never. She wouldn't have left them in Marabella. Like she was just pissed off at that moment because it was coming from that really chaotic dinner and she was in her feelings, but she wouldn't, you know, whatever. So that was dumb. But yeah, effectively it could be, you know, talk it out, even if it's a Marisol's expense, you know, whatever, whatever. So what else may have been
Gertie going to? Well, she talked about going to the therapist with the drama and then she actually did go. But before they get to that, I don't like it when trips and mid episode it needs to be like, OK, we're going back home. Here we come Miami at the end of the episode. Because when you shift gears mid episode like wait what? I don't mind what it's like the very middle of the episode. Is that how this one was? I feel like this is a little bit
later than middle. I feel like we got like a 20 minute ending back in Miami, I feel. Like there were at least three segments because there was like greater earring therapy. She came back. She's still in therapy. And the last therapy forever. Yeah, and the last one was Adrian and Stephanie. True. So it was truly I don't like that. No, it's. Interesting to have enough. It's not. My ideal situation, but. Yeah. I think the fact that everyone made-up, they they're like, all
right, well, we can't. Yeah, let's not ruin the cruise. Right. We can't do anything else with them. So, but yes, Gordian therapy. Yeah, I don't mean to make light of Gertie's therapy. Yeah, just like it's the sort of thing where I'm glad she went on. And I was saying to you while we were watching it, like, I think that there are a lot of other housewives that would do this and it would feel performative.
Yes. And maybe, you know, maybe it is Gertie's case, but we don't know her in such a way that we automatically go like, uh, like I can probably name five other housewives. If they were like, I'm going to go to therapy and talk about how my upbringing, my trauma, it would be like, oh, please. But this seemed very genuine and very, you know. She's the very genuine person. That we know of. Yeah, it's just. I hate that I'm qualifying, right? You know, it's like, like we don't.
Well, we don't really know anybody, that's why I know. But like the negative. But we don't have a history with these women that's. Like when I say I dislike somebody I like go on a rant. It's just I dislike the behavior in this episode or episodes or like the past, but I'm not saying like she's this way and I'm not getting deep into the cycle analyzing, but enough. More I have to edit out certain things. I see how it is. I see. I know the.
Thing with therapy on Housewives shows is that we're not going to see it multiple times typically. So we can't really like follow the threat because one, yeah, no one, this is not what the show is meant for, to show like multiple therapy sessions, right? But and then two. Any therapist that goes on a housewives show. It's just if you're going to get that deep, you probably wouldn't want to have that filmed. You know, it's like about trauma here. But yeah, we're not going to see
her again. Probably not. We'll get a recap of the reunion about where she's going or she's doing. But yeah, this isn't, you know, is that there's a couple therapy reality show on HBO or Yeah. I mean, I don't even know what that. Yeah, yeah, that, that show. So it's not that. But yeah, I'm glad that she win. We're actually dealing with her, with her issues. I'd like to know more about like
the logistics of being left. Like I always thought it was that, you know, they had to send them ahead because they're trying to get everyone in the family out. But maybe there's more to it. And but it does seem really scare at her end. And also I could see her as a parent now saying like I couldn't imagine just sending my kids and not, you know, knowing what's going on with them and people. I guess they were taking care of her and her brother didn't seem maybe that interested in doing
so from what she. Or they, you know, they were like, we have our own kids or whatever the situation was. Yeah, for sure. That's got to be rough. But yeah. Yeah. And then we. What did Julia cry about this episode? Did she cry about anything? She didn't really had much to do and I was kind of happy about that. All right, Perfect. Yeah. She wanted to put a diaper on a goat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Having put a diaper on a dog for a long time. Oh. My God, we missed Adriana and
the cake. I thought that would be more of a big thing. Yeah, she scraped the age off of it and. Who did that, though? I hope we find out. I hope they go back to it because it had to be either Julia or Marisol. Probably Marisol. Yeah, yes, Someone was saying because Gertie posted about this and some of the comments was like, well, it couldn't be Larsa, she can't do equations. I did think well. That's horrible. Well, I was on there. I was. I was. Like what?
What is that? The correct order of operations? That's what I didn't. Think well, that's a lot of like, you know, that takes a lot of effort, like three 2 * 2 -, 550. 4 Anytime you get you have 4 -. 9 or what? Or five. Derek ruining. It's a spoiler. It's 9. Yeah, so, so. But like, yeah, I don't think any of them would do. No one would write. No one would choose maths. So maybe it was Gertie then. She's about the only one I could think that would be like, I can
do math. I think it was Julia. OK. Maybe she just asked somebody. Kiki was a lot of fun. Oh Kiki. Like I'm tired of Kiki talking about her boobs. And just her parts in general. Like my vagina needs sun. Right. I'm a spread eagle. It's like, why are you? Is that your shtick? Might be, I mean, nothing says it can't be. But like, yeah, after a point, you know, is is that really charming anymore? No, it gets to who else does that? Oh, Vanderpump always did that.
And it got. Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah, she'd always just. Is there Anander Vanderpump? I didn't even know if you meant someone on Vanderpump versus Vanderpump would do that in Beverly. Hills, Good point. Lisa Vanderpump sexualized everything, including animals. Like, oh, you're such a sexy piece. OK. And then it's like, I don't know. No, I don't need that. Thank you. I can understand. Yeah, I don't.
I don't need that either. Yeah, it's like she's always like, oh, I'm not going to get, what's her name? Todd? Not Todd, I don't. Know her name? Her husband's name? I don't know his name, Jimmy. It's not. Is it Todd? No. Why is it? Terry. No, Ken. Ken. I got a kid in the banana shop and that's a horrible list. Random. I'm sorry, let's move on from that. Could you do some more Lisa Vanderpump for me, please? It's turning me on.
Sorry, it's turning me on. Lisa, Renna and Kyle both do very good Vanderpump impersonations. I am not one of those people. Well, now I really want to go see Downton Abbey. We got to see that. We're going to see that when he comes out. So of course I came out with this camp. It's out. It's out. It's out well. Fuck, we got to go tomorrow. Maybe. Maybe. Sunday. Sunday. I got a matinee. Yeah, we got so many plans. We're doing a brunch thing and then a dinner thing.
Well, Penny's in town. We got to see Penny. I ain't name drop, you dropped a penny. It's all good. It's all good. It's our friend's and mother-in-law. Well. Our friend's mother and our other friend's mother-in-law. Yes, they're married. Yes, and their mother. And their mother. Penny is in town and she's great. Yeah, she had a Penny on the show.
She's a therapist. Oh my gosh, they'd be like Penny. Should we just go over to their house tomorrow night and be like when we're done with dinner? Penny, you're gonna come with us. We're gonna watch an episode of Housewives. We need your opinion. No. We're gonna be like. I'll bring in a few mics. We'll just do it on our phone. We'll have a nice audio episode. It'll be great. There's a penny. What are your thoughts on doing a therapy session on a reality show? Like what?
Yeah, she's like. Well, so glad you asked. Yeah, today she was telling me all about how they drink oregano oil when they get sick. Like it helps like their immune systems and stuff, but it tastes awful. She and Joe. Yes. So you heard all about that because Chris's allergies were acting up and she's like, sure, you don't want some marine oil. He's like, no, last time I did that I barfed. So. She's like oh it does taste awful, why would you recommend? Like how much are you drinking?
Well, she said that they used to pour it into orange juice and like, it would make it somewhat more palatable. But then she's like, then we learned they put them in capsules, and now we just learned we'd take capsules. Oh, so should get some aroma. Wow. I mean, if you're really worried about getting sick, you know what? We can talk to Penny about it tomorrow. Less till now, till tomorrow. Till next time. Well, no. OK. No, we're not.
We're not done. No, no, no. Say. I want to kind of make Penny our secret star. Like next time Penny comes to town when they call. By the way, you're a hit on our podcast, right? Everyone's like, where's Penny? Everyone loves a lovable mother-in-law, yeah. Housewife or mother? Yes. Yeah, she's a character. She's totally she's got history, yes. So, yes. So the ending. Is Stephanie planning this holiday party? Oh yeah, I forgot.
About that the Shoma Christmas. The way she talks about like the Shoma Gallery is like ever, like it's a household name. Like the Shawn. Yeah, I'm just like, like everyone's, everyone knows exactly what this is. It's like the Kennedy Center. It's like OK. The Kennedy Center isn't even the Kennedy Center, or just. True. Thanks for the water, by the way. Sure. Yeah, she's starting this party. And then Adriana did you? So you didn't know that Adriana was a singer?
Did not know that. So not watching in Miami, but you know, hearing things or seeing things on online over the years I've seen that they were at a Pride event or she performed at Pride events and she is a singer and a dancer and all I know I performed at Bravo Con. She's no Erica Jane, that's all I know. I think in the same, well, I don't really know her genre, her whole thing, but I think it's kind of. Comparable. Maybe because.
She's got a following. I mean, I don't know if she's gonna like, break into how many fucks do I get does. She pat the puss. I don't think she Pats the puss, I think Erica. Trademarked that Pat the Puss TM. Yeah, yeah, OK. Yeah. No, but I did not know that she has singers, Chip. I did not know that Adriana was a singer. So when she's like, I'm gonna have Adriana sing. I was like, oh, is that things that Adriana does? A 10 piece band that performs for Gloria Estefan and. Emilio.
Estefan, Emilio Estefan. I'm assuming some relation to Gloria Ever. Same. That's her husband. Oh, OK, that's her manager. That's her, Her. Her. Guy Well, I'll it's not the the Miami Sound Machine is all I'm saying. So could be totally different. It's not full force you. Bring me the Miami Sound Machine, then I'll sing. Until then, nothing. That her guy like her director like her, you know, they've always been her. Fella, her music partner. Some Yeah. OK, I should know more.
I I should know more. I've seen the Gloria Estefan behind the music. I should know more. Look, just because you like some of the Divas episodes doesn't mean you know everything about all the. Gloria wasn't the original I. Know, I know that I was saying doesn't mean you know everything. A lot of people don't know that. I'm not a lot of people. I'm saying the audience might have forgotten that it was Mariah, Gloria, Shania, Aretha, Celine and Carole King.
See that ones kind of easy to freak next Carole King, but. Yes, yeah, it was great. Divas, natural one. Divas live. What Divas live? So good 98 Goodyear so, but the whole thing is that we need to gather aside from like Adriana talking about her performance is that they just want to talk smack about Marisol because Stephanie is now deduced that Marisol's a problem when she thought it was Alexia. It's really Marisol and she like now is like she's going to take a shot at me.
You better aim right or I got the you. Better hit the bullseye, that's what it was. Yeah. I like that Alexia was. And Alexia Adriana was just like, yeah, you rehearsed that. It wasn't. You go, girl. Wasn't awkward at all, but I also like that's the sort of thing where like why wasn't that her tagline? Like she says it? It could have been like, hence the tagline. It could have been. Does anyone ever say their tagline was in mid season? No, but that's been someone else's tagline.
Like that's true. Oh, there's Bethany. If you're gonna take a shot of this bee, you better you better not miss or something like that. I would like it if they all had to say their tagline mid season and like just work it into like like they knew at the beginning of the season they'd have to work it into. Something because they don't know until like the end of the I doubt. That they're probably something that they said during filming that. Makes like retains like their
story that year. Well, like, I didn't realize this entire season I was like, Lisa's is just kind of generic. But now that I know that she's late to everything. Oh yeah. I was like I may not be prompt but OK I right. So, and that feels like smiles at that one. Whatever. In any event, what happening is like gunning for a for Marisol. Now that's the moral story. Yeah. And I, oh, we forgot the whole Marisol Alexia. I'm not gonna eat dinner. Dinner Marisol, Alexia and Frankie and. Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it worked. I feel like Alexia ate some dinner. She I could see her. Eat some noodles. She was. It was Marisol was like, I had some vegan cheese where you came over, guys? Yeah, and she did not her Yeah, did not have dinner. I was a little franking me, like just I look down. I like that as exact words were a little less drunk, just like you. You're clearly you're drunk, but you're being too drunk. Marisol, Marisol a little less. Drunk, so it's fair.
It's accurate. That's great. But yeah, the whole on this Alexia, I'm forgiven, Todd, we want to move forward. Like, is this whole season not been about like, let's, you know, help Alexia through this? And now she's talking about she's like a stripping Todd, you know, and did what he did to you, did that not have an impact? No. I mean, I mean, I guess. What about Frankie?
She's getting the D She's happy. Sometimes people are mesmerized by the D. It's Miami like you've been married how many times you can get some DI? Think you mean Miami D? No. No. I will walk out of this podcast room. Come on, we can make that work. Come on, that can if only we went to Miami and we got tea in Miami. Well was funny, I thought was when Lars when Gertie showed up with like her eyes wide shut they all and Lars is like, I think Gertie missed the memo.
She looks like she's going to a Swinners party in Fort Lauderdale and I'm like, oh, bird on Fort Lauderdale. A little bit. I did like how they made it seem like we're all should wear red because we're like we're bad bitches. And I was like also, it's the red party. Like OK, that's why you're all wearing red. It's not because like you guys decided to, it's that the ship was having a. Theme party Scarlet Park Got it Yes, got it. Let's dance around with all these blurred out faces because
they can't all get. Can't sign their relief. I did like when they were eating or whatever that their everyone behind them was like giving reactions because clearly it was one of those if you walk into this room you give consent to be on. Or maybe they were in international waters at that point, they didn't need a consent. No, the people behind them were like, what is happening? Yeah, yeah. So. That was a lot. That was a lot, and water's pretty good, isn't it?
Well, now it's all gone. You drank. Oh, I drank all of it. You drank. Your own milk, No. Look, I drank milk and I had Oreos right before the podcast. I can't, just can't just come on, I'll lactose Y. Lactose. Y we got through everybody. I think so. We're gonna do a shift over. You gotta give me room for Salt Lake. Yeah, so we're gonna put Miami over here and put Salt Lake and leave, leave, leave chair open like for Jesus, but for Pod, for Potomac.
Yeah, We also the next week are doing our collaboration. Yeah, we had our collab coming up with besties. Bestie approved. So basically, they're gonna. I don't know how it's gonna work, OK? I'm counting on coming home or being home from work that day and. Being home that day. And just sitting down when you tell me to sit down and being like hi, how you doing? But you're the one who's figuring out the tech stuff. No, I'll just put on the video
and we'll make it work. I'll make that happen, but I have no idea how the format's gonna go. Not the format, I'm single, but the tech part of like having all four of us. Yeah, yeah, cuz I don't think they record in the same. We will figure it out. They don't, I don't think anyways. We'll make it happen. It'll be like a wonderful Zoom call about housewives and all the horrible shit that's going on in the world, right? Now, gosh, that's gonna be a a lot. It could be a lot, but it'll be
good. I look forward to it. Excited. Yes. Yes. So until next time. The next time.