The voice in your head that constantly criticizes you, saying you're weak, ugly, stupid, or not good enough is the voice of a bully. Bullying can come from anywhere: parents, peers, or even pornography. In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why bullying creates the "inner critic" inside each of us, how bullying can be sexualized, what to do if you are currently being bullied, and how to heal from the effects of past bullying. Dr. Doug Carpenter is the founder of Insight Counseling Service...
Jul 05, 2021•51 min
What is the autonomic nervous system and why should I care? Because freedom from porn depends on it. Being able to notice, name, and navigate your nervous system allows you to regulate, replacing the pacifier of porn. You can find a visual summary of this episode here . Resources mentioned (these are paid links): The Body Keeps The Score , by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk Polyvagal Theory in Therapy , by Deb Dana Polyvagal Exercises for Safety & Connection , by Deb Dana The Pocket Guide to the Pol...
Jun 28, 2021•53 min
What is a mother wound? How do you know if you have one? And how can mother wounds be healed? In this episode, Dan Hitz tells the story of his mother wounds, how they impacted his sexuality, and what the Lord has done to alleviate his anger, remove his self-hatred, and allow him to feel safe with women. Dan Hitz is the Executive Director of Reconciliation Ministries (a member of Restored Hope Network ). Dan is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Michigan, a Certified Clinical Trauma Professiona...
Jun 21, 2021•53 min
What is God's purpose for the penis? How does it reflect the image of God? And how can I reclaim the goodness of my penis? Join me and Jeremy Williamson for a candid conversation about God, men, and embodied brotherhood. Jeremy Williamson is a Pastoral Counselor at Restoration Counseling in Northern Colorado. Email Jeremy at jeremy@restorationcounselingnoco.com . What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the...
Jun 14, 2021•41 min
Why are certain times of the day, week, or year more difficult? Because emotions fluctuate. In this episode, I'll help you prepare for emotionally difficult times and seasons so you can give yourself plenty of grace and space to process your emotions rather than turning to the pacifier of porn. What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podc...
Jun 07, 2021•11 min
How does psychology relate to spirituality? How does therapy relate to theology? Dr. Ken McGill is a Christ-centered clinician who has been answering these questions for decades. In this episode, Dr. Ken offers a perspective on sex addiction that is both clinical and compatible with Christianity. Dr. Ken McGill is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He is the author of Cultivating Love Book Series (this is a paid link): https://amzn.to/3hUNmlv Learn more ...
May 31, 2021•31 min
Measuring freedom from porn usually produces self-contempt or self-righteousness. How can we avoid these two pitfalls? Is there a better way? Yes, there is! In this episode, I'll share the 4 levels of freedom from porn, how to evaluate your sexual and emotional maturity and my #1 most meaningful measurement. Register my upcoming free live class, "How To Outgrow Porn," at outgrowporn.com ! What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmateria...
May 24, 2021•46 min
Why do we return to porn even though it harms us? What if we return to porn precisely because it harms us? The answer is often re-enactment. "Re-enactment (noun): the acting out of a past event." Therapist and licensed mental health counselor Wendell Moss tells the story how porn re-enacted sexual abuse from when he was a boy, and what happened when he was confronted by the fierce kindness of God. Wendell Moss teaches at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and The Allender Center . A...
May 17, 2021•58 min
Have you ever been hurt by a sibling or close friend? Sometimes porn is used as a pacifier for painful peer relationships... or in some cases, the lack of any relationships at all. Marcus Spaur knows what it's like to be scarred by a sibling, and also what it's like to heal more deeply than he ever imagined. He has over 6 years of freedom from porn... and a passion for helping other men become the best possible versions of themselves this side of heaven! Marcus Spaur is the founder of Between Th...
May 10, 2021•1 hr 10 min
Let's change the way we talk about sexual attractions and desires. No matter who or what you're sexually attracted to, this episode is for you. What can we do with unwanted sexual attraction? 1. Talk about it 2. Understand it 3. Appreciate it 4. Manage it What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the...
May 03, 2021•26 min
Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is more common—and curable—than you might think. Hear Shawn Bonneteau's story of PIED/ED, why he continued to struggle after years of freedom from porn, and how he finally overcame it. Shawn also shares practical steps to freedom from PIED/ED, including The Thought Model. Download Shawn's free 5-page PDF explaining The Thought Model here . Shawn Bonneteau is a professional mentor and the co-founder of Secret Habit, where he and his wife Helena equip & empowe...
Apr 26, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Porn is a pacifier for conflict...with God, with others, and even with ourselves. Learn to embrace conflict in a redemptive way with author and therapist Jay Stringer. I recommend Jay's book more than any other (this is a paid link): Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing More Resources by Jay Stringer and Drew Boa: The Sexual Fantasy Framework (Free Mini-Course) The Unwanted Digital Workbook Jay will be joining us for an exclusive Q&A event and special announcement this ...
Apr 19, 2021•41 min
Listen to this short clip on repeat to memorize Ephesians 6:10-17. What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!...
Apr 12, 2021•2 min
We are not in a war against sexuality (which is good); we are in a war against evil. Come learn 7 strategies for spiritual warfare based on the Temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4:1-11... and hear my special spiritual warfare song! Download a free one-page summary of this episode here: husbandmaterial.com/43 NOTE: In the middle of this presentation I started weeping. Don't be alarmed! It's okay. God was ministering to me. I believe my tears are not a sign of weakness, but strength. What are you doi...
Apr 12, 2021•1 hr 6 min
In a marriage devastated by porn, when and how should sex come back into the picture? In part two of this two-part series, Adam King and Karissa King explain how to slowly but surely restore sexual intimacy to be better than it ever was before. Adam and Karissa ( @dearyoungmarriedcouple ) have been working as a coach-therapist team since 2011 and are dedicated to helping couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose. They serve couples all over the world through online m...
Apr 05, 2021•35 min
In a marriage devastated by porn, how do you rebuild trust? In part one of this two part series, Adam King and Karissa King share the 5 steps every couple must take to rebuild trust (for both spouses). Download the free PDF guide here: 5 Steps When Trust Has Been Broken Adam and Karissa ( @dearyoungmarriedcouple ) have been working as a coach-therapist team since 2011 and are dedicated to helping couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose. They serve couples all over ...
Mar 29, 2021•1 hr 4 min
We believe practicing verbal affirmation is absolutely essential to outgrowing porn. In this episode, Drew and Stephen will tell you why, and share practical strategies for how (not) to do it. Qualities Of Effective Affirmation: specific and precise (not generic or vague) evidence-based (clearly not made up) focused on the person (not the performance) What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take t...
Mar 22, 2021•47 min
How does porn relate to your father? If you have been under-fathered, what does it look like to be re-fathered? And how can we become fathers who reverse the curse of sexual sin and shame? Let this conversation with Chris Bruno open your eyes! Chris Bruno is the Founder and CEO of Restoration Project , a ministry restoring the hearts of men. He is also the leader of Restoration Counseling and a married father who enjoys mountains, rivers, and hammocks. Chris has authored two books (these are pai...
Mar 15, 2021•44 min
Let's change our brains. How can we take back control of our thoughts and transform our core beliefs? My fellow Canadian friend Sathiya Sam is here to show us how. Sathiya Sam is the founder of Deep Clean, an online recovery program that helps Christian men overcome porn. Connect with Sathiya @sathiyamesam and check out his program at getadeepclean.com What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take ...
Mar 08, 2021•54 min
What are triggers? How do triggers work? And most importantly, how can we take back control when we get triggered? This episode will answer each of these questions clearly and concisely...and at the end, I'll explain my own B.O.A. Technique for effective regulation. Download the free one-page summary: Nine Tips About Triggers What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journe...
Mar 01, 2021•35 min
Hear Dr. Christopher Yuan's amazing story of coming to Christ, surrendering same-sex attraction, and embracing the gift of singleness. Dr. Christopher Yuan has taught at Moody Bible Institute for over ten years and his speaking ministry on faith and sexuality has reached five continents. In this episode, we dive into his newest book: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel . Dr. Yuan is the author of three books (these are paid links): 1. Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God, A Broken Mother’s...
Feb 23, 2021•1 hr 4 min
Outgrowing porn can be especially difficult for pastors and ministry leaders. Hear how Pastor Bernie Anderson got found out, but found a way out...and how God found a way in! Bernie will be a leader at the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat . Sign up now to join his small group! Buy Bernie's book here (this is a paid link): Breaking The Silence: A Pastor Goes Public About His Battle With Pornography Email Bernie at banderson33@me.com What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free work...
Feb 15, 2021•50 min
What should I do with my sexual desires—my attractions, urges, impulses, cravings, fantasies, aches, longings, and yearnings? I've been on a quest to answer this question for 15 years and finally found an answer worth sharing... Download the worksheet for this episode with 35 desires and 4 directions for each one: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/35-desires-and-4-directions P.S. Don't forget to sign up for the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat ! What are you doing this Saturday? Come to o...
Feb 08, 2021•48 min
We all have blind spots. But what are they? If we knew, they wouldn't be blind spots! Listen to a lively conversation between 3 leaders as we talk about the blind spots we commonly see in ourselves and the men we coach. Eddie, Drew, and Stephen will all be leaders at the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat on "Healing The Inner Child" on the weekend of February 26-28! Get the details and register now at husbandmaterial.com/retreat Other free resources mentioned in this episode: Eddie Cappa...
Feb 01, 2021•40 min
Let's redefine purity: it's a relationship, not an accomplishment...it's about presence, not performance...and according to Jasper Hall, it comes from Jesus. Jasper Hall is the President of pureHOPE , a ministry equipping men and women to pursue purity through relationship with Jesus. Jasper brings a sense of calm and assurance to people who feel anxiety about navigating a sexualized, digital age. Learn more at purehope.net What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register no...
Jan 25, 2021•34 min
Do you ever feel trapped? Let me give you 5 empowering choices when it feels like porn is the only option...and along the way, I'll tell a story I've never shared in public before. This episode comes with a free PDF worksheet . What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Co...
Jan 18, 2021•49 min
Many of us grew up without a clue about what it means to be a sexually healthy man. That's why I'm so grateful for Andrew Bauman and his new book, "The Sexually Healthy Man." Join us for a rugged conversation about true masculine sexuality. Andrew J. Bauman and his wife Christy run the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma, where they "provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview." Andrew is the author of several books, including ...
Jan 11, 2021•42 min
The global anti-porn movement is gaining momentum. In this episode, you'll hear about it directly from Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight The New Drug. Fight The New Drug (FTND) is a youth movement dedicated to raising awareness of the harmful effects of pornography and other forms of sexual exploitation. Learn more at fightthenewdrug.org . Here are 2 amazing resources by Fight The New Drug everyone needs to know about: Brain Heart World - brainheartworld.org This is a 3-part documentary series abo...
Jan 04, 2021•40 min
Learn the two styles of relating you need to outgrow in order to enjoy the freedom of life as an adult. Interested in outgrowing porn? Learn more at outgrowporn.com . What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Por...
Dec 28, 2020•12 min
Within each of us, there are three bears in three chairs. Listen to Marnie Ferree explain why, and you'll understand yourself in a whole new way. Marnie C. Ferree is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, where she directs Bethesda Workshops, which provides Christian-based treatment for sex addicts, their partners, couples, and teens affected by sexual addiction. Learn more at https://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/ Marnie is also the author of No Stones: Women Redeemed fro...
Dec 21, 2020•43 min
