Heather Tolley-Bauer: "Can I Say That?" - podcast episode cover

Heather Tolley-Bauer: "Can I Say That?"

Feb 11, 202531 minSeason 2Ep. 2
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Episode description

Welcome to another engaging episode of Humor in the C Suite with your host, Kate Davis, featuring the vibrant Heather Tolley-Bauer. This captivating episode unfolds Heather's fascinating journey from a banking executive in PR to a stand-up comedian, as she shares rich anecdotes and pearls of wisdom on using humor as a transformative tool in leadership. With laughter and insight, Heather demonstrates how humor can bridge gaps, improve communication, and foster a vibrant work culture that promotes collaboration and innovation.

Key Takeaways:

  • Humor is a powerful tool for creating an extraordinary work culture, aiding in communication, trust-building, and problem-solving.
  • Authenticity in leadership enhances relatability and effectiveness, especially when balanced with appropriate humor.
  • Understanding your audience is crucial for mastering humor in professional settings, as this fosters a more inclusive and engaging environment.
  • Despite technological advancements, effective communication remains a competitive advantage in today’s workplaces.
  • Exploring humor through stand-up comedy or public speaking can enhance leadership capabilities and interpersonal skills.

"Problems can be solved or created by communications. Good communication solves problems; bad communications create problems."

Additional Links & Resources:

  • Interested in being a guest on Humor in the C-Suite? Reach out to book a call with Kate!
  • Learn more about me and my work at katedavis.ca


Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Humor in the C-Suite! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast, share it with your friends, and leave a rating or review. Your support helps the podcast continue to grow.


Hosted by Kate Davis
Edited by Chris @ Wider View Studios

Transcript

0:00:03 - (Kate Davis): Hello, I'm Kate Davis and this is Humor in the C Suite, a show about how leaders use humor to create an extraordinary work culture. Hi, everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Humor in the C Suite. My guest this week is Heather Tolley Bauer. We had an incredible conversation. She comes from a world of the corporate banking environment to PR and she's a master communicator. But not only that, now she's a stand up comedian and keynote speaker. She shares her story, her wisdom. We had so much fun. You guys are going to love her. We had a great laugh and so much insight. So please welcome Heather to Bauer.

0:00:47 - (Kate Davis): Heather, welcome to Humor in the SE Suite. I think we've already started off on a great, on a great trajectory. First of all, I just really want to talk to you about your many lives. You lived.

0:00:57 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Okay.

0:00:58 - (Kate Davis): As many of your hairstyles.

0:01:01 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right.

0:01:01 - (Kate Davis): Because you have lived such a full life in so many different industries. It's going to be an interesting episode and I'm so excited. But we always do start off with, do you have a favorite joke?

0:01:11 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I have several. Because you know, as a stand up comedian, like, yeah, I crack myself up on the regular. So I'm not going with one of my jokes.

0:01:21 - (Kate Davis): Oh, come on.

0:01:22 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): No, I'm not going with one of my, my jokes will come out, I assure you.

0:01:26 - (Kate Davis): Okay, good.

0:01:27 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I'm going with the joke that my six, almost 16 year old son likes but won't admit that he likes it.

0:01:35 - (Kate Davis): Okay, go on.

0:01:36 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Okay. All right. Okay. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

0:01:43 - (Kate Davis): Why?

0:01:44 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): For drizzle.

0:01:49 - (Kate Davis): See, that's cute. Come on. I love it. That's so dumb. So good. So good. So dumb. So perfect.

0:01:59 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Exactly, exactly. And Snoop Dogg, he's a national treasure. Here he is, United States.

0:02:05 - (Kate Davis): Oh, my God, he is everywhere. Watching him at the Olympics killed me.

0:02:10 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Fall in love with him all over again.

0:02:12 - (Kate Davis): He's just, you know, ever since him and Martha hooked up, the unlikely duo.

0:02:17 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): For sure, it like legitimized him and then it gave her some more street cred.

0:02:21 - (Kate Davis): Yes, it was perfect. Yeah. Although she's the one who served jail time, so, you know, I think she's got a little more street cred.

0:02:31 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Goes to show you. It just goes to show you.

0:02:34 - (Kate Davis): You never know.

0:02:35 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): A good PR firm. A good.

0:02:37 - (Kate Davis): Yeah. Yes, exactly. Okay, so let's get into it. I thought I would just start off by getting you to tell your story of different industries you've been in, how, you know, and just how you got to where you are today.

0:02:51 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, I mean, okay, so it started in 1970 when I was born. Oh no. So my, my, my career my, was in public relations and business communications and so I'm a big fan of communicating and communications and I actually, I'm one of those people, like, I fear death more than public speaking. I'm very weird that way, very strange that way. But I, I also geek out on communications and so I, I actually believe like problems can be solved or created by communications. Like good communication solves problems, bad communications creates problems.

0:03:35 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): So I've always been a big fan of communications, worked in the public relations field, was a vice president of a large bank in New England for, and was their director of public relations for a long time. And when I left that job, I, I kind of did some other things, went into PR consulting and then my family and, and I got moved to the Atlanta area. I was in Connecticut, so I was in the northeast and we got moved to the south.

0:04:05 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And to be honest with you, I was a little pissed off about it. I don't know. That's a little salty language for a podcast.

0:04:10 - (Kate Davis): I know, but you can be salty here. It's not a clean podcast.

0:04:14 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Okay. All right, you're good. I was a little, I was a little pissed off about it and didn't know what I was going to do. My son was going off to kindergarten. My husband is an executive with a big company. I, I just, I didn't know what I was going to do and decided now, this was 10 years ago, Kate. So 10 years ago, like everybody had a blog.

0:04:39 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:04:40 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Now everybody has a TikTok.

0:04:42 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:04:43 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But 10 years ago, just 10 years ago, everybody had a blog. And so I was going to just do new things and in this new state and this new part of the country and I was going to blog about it. And the very first thing I did was took a stand up comedy class.

0:04:59 - (Kate Davis): I love this.

0:05:01 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And never left it. I just never left it.

0:05:04 - (Kate Davis): Yeah. Amazing. Amazing. And you know what it all like, because just speaking with you and getting to know you a bit, like you have such a great sense of humor and such an energy about you and it is contagious. So when you were like in your executive phase of your life, were you drawn to using humor to create, you know, a good work culture? And how did you do that? That.

0:05:30 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, I mean, I've just always been drawn to humor anyway. So I, you know, I was the kid that, you know, was funny. Right. I was the kid that, like my first MCing gig was when I was with the Girl Scouts. I was in My Girl Scout troop. I was in the fifth grade and we had a father daughter dinner of all the girl Scout troops in my town. And I got to emcee the event. That was my first gig.

0:05:59 - (Kate Davis): I love this. How old were you?

0:06:02 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): 10.

0:06:02 - (Kate Davis): Oh my God. Okay. So I had my first bomb as a comedian when I was 8, I swear to God. Because I was killing it on the sleepover circuit because I was doing Mr. Chinnegan all the time. You know when you draw the eyes on your chin and the nose and you lie upside down and then you.

0:06:21 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Were a prop comic.

0:06:22 - (Kate Davis): I was a prop comic, yeah. And I was really into like SNL and like, like all of it. I was buying it all. And so I was doing Mr. Chinnigan and all this Sleepover schools. I decided to do it for the school talent show. And I went up, I'm like, this is gonna murder. And yeah. Died a. Not a. Not a peep. Because no one could see it. Everyone was so far away. But I didn't realize it as an 8 year old. And you know what?

0:06:54 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:06:55 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Still you learned a very valuable lesson.

0:06:58 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:06:59 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right. Comedy is a multi sensory experience.

0:07:03 - (Kate Davis): Yes, it is.

0:07:04 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right. You have to be able to see it, you have to be able to hear it.

0:07:07 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:07:08 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah.

0:07:09 - (Kate Davis): I mean more so like especially when you're drawing a picture on your face. I do believe it's definitely a listening sport.

0:07:17 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yes.

0:07:17 - (Kate Davis): And I do believe that empathy and connection come from listening, especially as a leader. Right. So are you. Did you find when you were, you know, in your corporate life before you became a comedian, which I love. I think everyone should try it, by the way out there. Did you find it was a big part of your leadership style or were you just like, I gotta play this serious?

0:07:41 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): No, I mean I, I was. It's just ingrained in me. I. It's just part of my personality. It's also part of my coping. Right. Like.

0:07:49 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:07:51 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And so I've always been somebody who takes what I do very seriously, but I don't take myself very seriously. And I think that that is super important in, in leadership. I also think that you have to use that strategically. You have to use that wisely. Right. But because, you know, self deprecating humor has always been my go to. But you gotta be careful with that. Right. Because it is something that in the business world it can level the playing field when you are a manager, but it can make you look like an idiot. It for two potential clients. And so you have to kind of know like where to play it. You have to know how to play it, you know how to play that. But yeah, I've just been, I have preferred. So you know, when I was a public relations director, there was a lot of interpersonal communication and intrapersonal communication. And so I was having to work with and communicate with colleagues, customers, community members, stakeholders.

0:08:53 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And so I had to adjust my, my style of communication to be effective. But being funny has always, always helped with diffusing situations and onboarding people. And now that I am, and you know this, now that I am in the, the corporate communication space where I'm taking my business communications and my stand up comedy and kind of mashing them together, doing a big mashup. Now I understand that being a humorous leader and being able to communicate through responsible humor joke responsibly people really is a critical business skill. It really is a competitive advantage.

0:09:42 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I didn't know that I was, that this thing that was just natural to me is actually really sound strategy. I didn't know that until I started to study it.

0:09:52 - (Kate Davis): But do you find that you can teach that?

0:09:55 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, for sure. Don't you?

0:09:57 - (Kate Davis): Yes, absolutely.

0:09:58 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I find that it makes sense to a lot of people because. And here's why, as you know, we are naturally drawn to the people that make us laugh.

0:10:10 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, absolutely.

0:10:11 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Want to be around the people who can tell a good story. And, and when I say laugh, I don't mean like, you know, Kevin Hart laugh. Like I'm not talking about rolling in the aisles necessarily. You don't have to be that guy. But I mean just a chuckle, a smile. And it's so important because what we, what I have found out as I was doing the research is like the, the amount of times we laugh, like as people like dramatically decreases like at the age of 23.

0:10:48 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, absolutely.

0:10:50 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Which is coincidentally exactly at the moment when adulting begins. Like laughter ends.

0:10:55 - (Kate Davis): Adulting begins.

0:10:57 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And how many people do you and I interact with that are over the age of 23? Most.

0:11:04 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:11:05 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): So if we can leave them feeling better about themselves, their day, you know, their experience, having spent time with us than before they spent time with us then like that's a no brainer.

0:11:20 - (Kate Davis): Absolutely.

0:11:21 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah. I think it can be taught and I think it needs to be taught. I think it's important.

0:11:24 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, no, there I'm. And it's, it's everywhere now and especially because everything is so techno now. You know, I mean if you look up the definition of connectivity, it's all computer related, has nothing to do with human connection anymore. So it is interesting. Did you find it help with collaboration and with teams getting along when you were in, you know, in the PR world.

0:11:49 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the things. I mean, it strengthens teams, it builds trust. You know, all the things. I mean, the truth is, is that. Laughter it just works.

0:11:59 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:12:00 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): You know, it works. It works personally, professionally, as you're building teams. It just. As you're trying to establish that, like, know and trust with clients, it just. Laughter works.

0:12:13 - (Kate Davis): Laughter works. Laughter works, people. That's the message. That's what we're going with. Do you find there's a balance between. I mean, you mentioned this already, but really maintaining professionalism and, you know, bringing that humor in and. And dealing with clients and coworkers differently because, you know, the co workers. But I can't even imagine how many fires you had to put out as a PR professional.

0:12:43 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah. I mean, when you. When you work in corporate pr, you know, you're gonna encounter a lot of different people, a lot of different situations, a lot of different personalities.

0:12:53 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:12:53 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And a lot of different sensibilities. It's not. It's not real different from the sales people that I have gotten to train. Like, salespeople are like. But I'm hilarious.

0:13:05 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:13:06 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But maybe not appropriate.

0:13:07 - (Kate Davis): Right, Right.

0:13:10 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, Sometimes. Yeah. So, yes. You know. Laughter I. And I also. Tell me. I know you're in Canada. Yeah. You know, and I'm not. And it's probably the same, but I encounter with the companies that I work with in this day and age, people are a little afraid of. Can I say that there's a lot of. Well, can I say that?

0:13:32 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, no, absolutely. Political correctness is definitely on everyone's mind or as everyone's calling that woke culture. I think it's just really being a better human.

0:13:45 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right.

0:13:45 - (Kate Davis): And being sensitive towards people and their feelings. But I think there's still levity within that. And it can come in. In a lot of different forms. You know, it can come at the signature of an email, you know, as we've talked, spoken about, or which, by.

0:14:01 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): The way, go get an email from Kate, because signature is hilarious. You want to get an email from her just for the signature.

0:14:14 - (Kate Davis): Hi, it's Kate. I can't believe you made it halfway through the show. Look, if you or anyone you know, would like to be a guest on Humor in the Sea Suite, I would love to have you, so email me. Kateate Davis. Cat, did you find when you a huge difference between the PR world and with the banking world?

0:14:35 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, well, yes and no. I mean, banking is pretty, pretty Stuffy, pretty straightforward. And so, you know, that environment isn't really a bunch of yuck yucks all the time. It's not a bunch of, you know, and there was a lot more of just having to be, you know, a more traditional business communicator. Right. Like, so there was, there was a lot, a lot of that. But. But then when I, when I left that job and became a PR consultant and got to work with different industries, then I got really exposed to a lot of different cultures and a lot of business cultures and a lot of different sensibilities. Sensibilities.

0:15:15 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And realized that, you know, in comedy there's this, there's this idea that funny is funny.

0:15:21 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:15:22 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yes and no.

0:15:24 - (Kate Davis): Right.

0:15:24 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): You also have to know your audience.

0:15:26 - (Kate Davis): Absolutely. Yeah.

0:15:28 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And I think that that is when I work with companies and salespeople, it kind of starts there.

0:15:37 - (Kate Davis): Okay. Yeah.

0:15:37 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): It starts with, you have to really know your audience. And to your point, like the comedy that I, the moments of levity that I am going to share with a coworker.

0:15:49 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:15:50 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Is not the same that I am going to share with a client, a prospective client, my boss. It's just, it's just not, it's not appropriate. And you, you have to know the difference.

0:16:05 - (Kate Davis): Yeah. Did you have any funny bosses that you worked with that sort of inspired you?

0:16:10 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): My. Well, not funny. Very rarely is anybody as funny as we are. Just.

0:16:16 - (Kate Davis): No, absolutely no.

0:16:17 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I goes without saying. Okay, funny. I did. No. But I did have a boss, a really fantastic boss. Her name was Lori. I was just telling the story the other day. She was somebody who really mentored me in a male dominated industry at a male dominated company. And she would never tell me how old she was. To this day I don't know how old she is, but she, she was old enough. She was like old enough to mentor me and want. She wanted to make sure that I had it easier than she had it. Oh, I love that coming up.

0:17:02 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And I learned a lot from her and I learned a lot from that. And she. It much like comedy. You know, back in the day, women didn't support women in comedy because we felt like there wasn't enough oxygen for all of us. And my boss, Lori made me understand that there is enough oxygen. And I just, I have carried that with me through throughout. And so she was a riot because she just had such a great personality and she was funny without even like trying to be funny.

0:17:30 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:17:30 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Just really funny. But the biggest gift that she gave me, and this isn't funny, but yeah, it informed me, you Know, it informed how I showed up in life. And this was 20 years ago. She said, Heather, you have this real gift to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said.

0:17:50 - (Kate Davis): Wow.

0:17:52 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And you know, I think back on that when I was a much younger woman in the corporate world where, you know, a lot of people wanted, you know, was like, yeah, you're a little much.

0:18:07 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:18:09 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): She, she was like, nope, no you are not.

0:18:12 - (Kate Davis): No, you're not.

0:18:13 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): No, you are not. You are powerful.

0:18:14 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:18:15 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And that really gave me the confidence to stand on Stage as a 40 something year old woman as. Because, you know, when I started, it was 10 years ago, I was 44 years old complaining about my stay at home mom life. It gave me the confidence to do that because I, I, I sort of came up just realizing that my voice matters and my perspective matters and somebody out there needs to hear what I have to say.

0:18:45 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:18:45 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And it all started from her.

0:18:48 - (Kate Davis): Wow, that's amazing. I find a lot of, there's definitely, I don't want to get like, I, I hate talking about the gender part of it, but it is still there, you know, and, and it does play a role in the corporate environment. Not as much, maybe. Know, a lot of women do tread differently than a man, especially when it comes to landing jokes or like in that environment, you know.

0:19:15 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Well, and I think authenticity wasn't a word.

0:19:19 - (Kate Davis): No.

0:19:19 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): 20 years ago. Right. Like in the 2000s, like we were talking about authenticity.

0:19:25 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:19:25 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But now we, we realize that pe. People who show up authentically.

0:19:33 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:19:34 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Are people that are successful people. That they're the people that people want to be led by. I don't like to say that we want to follow them. I don't like that terminology.

0:19:45 - (Kate Davis): I get that.

0:19:46 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): They are the people that we want to have as leaders. They are the people that, that we, again, we gravitate towards. Right. And so my boss was a riot. Right. But she was also very authentic. And, and I think more so than was she funny. That's what it was. Right?

0:20:03 - (Kate Davis): Yeah. She was herself.

0:20:04 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah.

0:20:05 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:20:06 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And I, I find apologetic about it.

0:20:08 - (Kate Davis): I see. That's what we gotta be. But I find like the work environment, like especially this generation coming up are demanding that they're demanding that authentic workplace. They're demanding, you know, kombucha on tap, whatever. I want that, you know.

0:20:28 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But they are in Silicon Valley, right.

0:20:30 - (Kate Davis): Like, yeah.

0:20:31 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Nap pods and the cereal bars. And then.

0:20:34 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:20:34 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): You know, it started with, we're gonna just take care of your, of your needs.

0:20:39 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:20:40 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Nurture an environment that is Positive, playful and productive.

0:20:46 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:20:47 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And then, you know, that went along for a while, and then, you know, somewhere in there, covet happened. And now, you know, my best friend is Chat GPT, and I'm like, what happens?

0:20:57 - (Kate Davis): Yes. I. Yeah. At the beginning of chat, I almost thought, like, this is cheating. How dare I? Because as a comic, I take such pride in writing my own jokes. And I'm glad Chat GPT can't write jokes. No, it cannot. Yeah, no, absolutely. Thank God. Or, you know, that's what I'd be worried.

0:21:22 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right.

0:21:23 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, no, absolutely. Do you have any advice for, you know, people coming up who are in their early careers in the corporate environment and how they can navigate, you know, how to use humor within that or, you know, lead with levity?

0:21:38 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Well, so I have a client who is in this space, and I'm helping him, like, make his TED talks and things funnier. Right. And I know you do that kind of work, too, but what I love about doing that work is I get to meet all kinds of people doing all kinds of different things.

0:21:54 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:21:55 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And his name is Eric McDermott. It's Eric McDermott. Let me say that more clearly. And he made me realize that right now, in this time, there are four generations of worker.

0:22:06 - (Kate Davis): Wow.

0:22:07 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And so our frame of references are very different.

0:22:10 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:22:11 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And what makes us laugh. Shared experiences. But what I think is funny isn't what my son thinks is funny. Right. Because there's a whole bunch of stuff that I have experience with that he knows nothing about.

0:22:25 - (Kate Davis): Right.

0:22:27 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): So I think that being curious. I. I don't. You just love, like, in what we do, we get to meet a lot of people and being genuinely curious. Other people.

0:22:40 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:22:40 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): It's far more important to listen to what they have to say.

0:22:44 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:22:45 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right. And I. I am lucky. You and I are lucky because we're of that same age where we have a lot of frame of reference behind us to draw from and then to relate to people. And for the younger people, I would say that you have a lot. You have a lot that you can learn from the generations that have come before you don't discount them. And to the, you know, older generation, I would say the same of the younger generation.

0:23:17 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Listen, when you can't figure out how to get into your Netflix, who you gonna call?

0:23:25 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, and we invented the flares you're wearing today, so.

0:23:29 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Oh, you think that romper? You think you invented the romper? No, no, I was wearing a romper in the 70s, you know, but I think just this understanding that every. We all have value Right. We all bring value, we all want to be valued and, and just to be, just be curious about people.

0:23:55 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:23:56 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I think that that's, that's what I, when my son, you know, who's not going to enter the workplace for a while, but that, I hope that that's the thing that he, and by the way, he is hilarious.

0:24:09 - (Kate Davis): Is he going towards the arts or the corporate environment?

0:24:12 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): You know, my husband's an actuary.

0:24:14 - (Kate Davis): Okay.

0:24:15 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): So my husband is a math geek and I am the opposite. I actually failed math twice in high school. And so our son is the perfect blend of the two of us. And I don't know what, I don't know what he's gonna do.

0:24:31 - (Kate Davis): How fun is that?

0:24:32 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But I think I, he has a quick wit and an analytical mind. And I'm like, well then there's no stopping this kid.

0:24:41 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

0:24:43 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): But I will tell you, I will also say that he's a great communicator. And to me, I don't care what is happening with technology.

0:24:52 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:24:53 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): People who can talk to other people.

0:24:56 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:24:56 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Going to be in demand.

0:24:59 - (Kate Davis): Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's so true, learning how to communicate differently. Like at the end of my keynotes I used to ask, does anyone have any questions or answers for me? You know, sort of cute, funny, whatever. But now I ask, what are you going to implement into your day to day routines? Instead of those, do you have any answers? How are you going to use what we actually talked about? And I found that has made all the difference and it's just one online of communication, so different and, and then people just start, you know, screaming stuff out. Whereas before, does anyone have any questions? It would always be nope. Or they'd come up to me after the show and like whisper, you know, what do you think about this?

0:25:37 - (Kate Davis): So communication is so relevant in all this. And it can just be one, one word or one saying or you know, just asking someone a smile like you said at the beginning of this. So it's so true. Yeah. I love all this. It's, it's so, it's so pertinent to where we are. You know, with everything going on in the world, I think it's so important and that people are at their jobs for eight hours a day. So you gotta make it at least. Exactly.

0:26:09 - (Kate Davis): So you want to make it an environment where they can be themselves and be playful and you know that's going to lead to innovation and discovering things.

0:26:19 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah. I mean, humor in the workplace or in life is a competitive advantage and people who can Master it. It. Yeah, we'll do. We'll do really well. And if they can't master it on their own, well, then thank goodness there are people like you and me who can help them.

0:26:34 - (Kate Davis): Yes, exactly. Okay, so look, we always end humor in the C suite. I always ask, what is the funniest thing that's ever happened to you? Do you have a funny story?

0:26:44 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I do. I actually tell this story on stage. Oh, I'm excited again, because I like to. I like to show that although I take what I do seriously, I do not take myself very seriously. So, as you know, in comedy, sometimes your stories are real and sometimes they're not real, and sometimes it's something in between. Right when I'm about ready to say it's 100 true.

0:27:07 - (Kate Davis): Okay, you heard it, audience. 100 true.

0:27:12 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): So I was. I went shopping for jeans.

0:27:15 - (Kate Davis): Okay.

0:27:16 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Okay. And I went to one of those fancy boutique places. So the jeans aren't, like hanging up. They're like folded up nicely, neatly on a shelf. So I'm going through the jeans and I'm looking for the sizes, and I see, you know, the twos and the fours, which is how we size things. I don't know how you guys size things.

0:27:36 - (Kate Davis): Same thing.

0:27:37 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): 2. So I was looking at the twos and the fours, and this cute little sales clerk walks by and she's like, hey, can I help you? And I was like, yes, I'm looking. Where are your bigger sizes? You know, I'm not a two or four, you know, and probably divisible by two or four. So where. Where do you keep your bigger sizes? And she said, oh, well, we just keep those down below. And I was like, okay. So I went to the second shelf and I'm looking and, you know, and I see the sixes and the eights, right?

0:28:08 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah. Still no. And she comes back by, and I was like, yeah, excuse, sweetheart, I'm gonna need you to go to the basement. And she was like, what? It's like, these are still small sizes. I think if you keep the bigger sizes down below, I think you need to go to the basement. And so she did, and she brought all the jeans that they had in my size. And so I took both of them to the dressing room. But that is.

0:28:35 - (Kate Davis): Yes.

0:28:36 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I mean, to be able to, like, in that moment. I was like, still?

0:28:41 - (Kate Davis): No, still. We have a few stores that are just one size stores. And I'm like, I just like, Brandy Melville. Do you have that there? Oh, it's like one size. Yeah. It's just so crazy.

0:28:57 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): To me.

0:28:57 - (Kate Davis): I love that story. So funny. Can you go to the basement, please?

0:29:01 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go to the basement. I mean, that is a. That is a real life example of humor to, like, diffuse an awkward situation.

0:29:10 - (Kate Davis): Yeah.

0:29:11 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): I mean, I can laugh about it or I can cry about it, right? Yeah. I decided, you know, I'm just gonna laugh about it.

0:29:18 - (Kate Davis): Booties are in, baby. Booties are in. Yeah. Yeah.

0:29:23 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): And when muffin tops become, you know, in, then I'm. Then I'm golden. I'm gonna be right where I need to be.

0:29:31 - (Kate Davis): That's when I start riding, wearing my low rise jeans again.

0:29:35 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Right?

0:29:36 - (Kate Davis): Low rise with one or two buttons that are like this big. It's like. No, that's. That's not going to cover anything.

0:29:43 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): A lot of muffins. A lot of muffins for sacrifice.

0:29:49 - (Kate Davis): Exactly.

0:29:49 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Gonna honor it.

0:29:51 - (Kate Davis): Oh, my gosh. Heather, thank you so much for taking the time today. I. I so appreciate your perspective. I find it so unique because you do come from the business world and ended up being a comedian. And I think it's so great for people to hear that and know that, you know, it's. It's. Know your audience. All these things that you've learned, the listening, the communication, you know, it's just so relevant in today's work, and I love it. Thank you so much.

0:30:21 - (Heather Tolley-Bauer): Thank you so much for the opportunity. It has been a real joy. I could talk about this all day long, so I love it.

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