Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she's lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn't interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she's worried it's hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are , to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimat...
Feb 11, 2025•30 min
In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode: Laurel Braitman reads a passage from her book What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love . She talks about journeying up to Alaska to learn about guilt from some badly behaved birds. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple , Spotify or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John....
Feb 04, 2025•9 min
Jeff and his family lost their home last month in the L.A. wildfires. Since then, he's been hyperfocused on insurance claims, an epic to-do list, and finding a "temporary" place to live for the next several years. But Jeff hasn't experienced the emotional punch of the devastation yet. In fact… he just feels numb. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Laurel Braitman , author of What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love . In a moving (and sometimes funny) conve...
Feb 04, 2025•53 min
Can you actually make your life better? Every month How To! producer, Rosie Belson, will be putting some of our best advice to the test. This month: combating the mundane with novelty. The advice was from this 2021 episode: How To Fill an Empty Nest Next month we'll be stress-testing sleeping tips from these How To! episodes: How To Sleep How To Sleep Like a Champ How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier) How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump Do you hav...
Jan 28, 2025•17 min
Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy , author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute . Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserv...
Jan 28, 2025•42 min
Connie is feeling compelled to get involved in her local community, but she's never even attended a PTA meeting. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin enlists Eric Liu of Citizen University to explain how busy parents, introverts, and first-timers like Connie can test the waters of civic engagement in the Trump 2.0 era—without getting sucked under. Eric is the author of You're More Powerful Than You Think: A Citizen's Guide to Making Change Happen . If you liked this episode, check out our...
Jan 21, 2025•42 min
For three decades, Mike has worked in a field with an uncertain future: journalism. He loves the stability of his current job mentoring student reporters, but he can't stop thinking about starting a new career—in his 50s—in astrophysics, architecture, or law. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin enlists career coach and psychologist Dr. Dawn Graham to help Mike think through his midlife career crisis, especially his urge to go back to school. Dawn's book is Switchers: How Smart Pr...
Jan 14, 2025•38 min
In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode, learn more about what it takes to move to Portugal. In this extended conversation from our How To Become an Expat episode, Jen Barnett of Expatsi talks with Maureen and Jayna, a couple that's planning to move to the European nation later this year. They discuss the application process for becoming a resident, including the challenges of leasing an apartment, obtaining a bank account, scheduling a consulate appointment—and deciding where to live in a cou...
Jan 07, 2025•13 min
Before the 2024 election, Maureen and Jayna had hoped to attend a historic inauguration for Kamala Harris in Washington, D.C. But when Donald Trump won the presidency, the lesbian couple scrapped their trip—and booked a fact-finding mission to Portugal instead. On this episode of How To!, they talk with co-host Carvell Wallace about their plans to leave the U.S.—and start a new life somewhere they'll feel safer. And, Jen Barnett of Expatsi offers up advice about Portugal and other LGBTQ+ friendl...
Jan 07, 2025•40 min
Today we're going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán , senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Ti...
Dec 31, 2024•50 min
Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we're joined by Mónica Guzmán , senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversati...
Dec 24, 2024•37 min
Amid the hectic lives they lead as writers, parents, caregivers, and swashbuckling co-hosts of America's foremost advice podcast, Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin somehow found time to read books and Substacks. (They even watched a movie or two.) In this year-end edition of Quick Fix, Carvell and Courtney offer up their favorite things of 2024—and reveal how they're thinking about 2025. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-...
Dec 17, 2024•14 min
How will you remember 2024? Here at How To! Headquarters, this will be the year when a bunch of very smart and insightful guests taught us how to flirt with confidence , be a mindful drinker , make bank at a yard sale , and cope with forever parenting . On this episode, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin break down their favorite advice of the year and share some heart-warming updates from listeners who joined us on the show. Did we forget to mention your favorite advice of the year? L...
Dec 17, 2024•52 min
Sandy is a former college athlete who knows how to exercise—at least, she used to. These days, she's feeling lost without a coach, a workout plan, or much free time. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Danielle Friedman , author of Let's Get Physical and a contributor to the New York Times Well section . Danielle explains how to embrace movement that you love, make it fit into your life—and actually stick with it. If you liked this episode check out: How To Start Strength Train...
Dec 10, 2024•38 min
André has known for years that they have to execute the estate when their parents pass. They feel wholly unprepared for the task, especially since their parents are reluctant to share any important information. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings on M.P. Dunleavey , journalist, author of the Squished Substack, and contributor to Next Avenue where she covers aging, caregiving, and money. M.P. walks André through the important paperwork that needs to be in place and gives them guida...
Dec 03, 2024•34 min
'Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It's also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week's listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker , author of The Art of Gathering , explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an event tha...
Nov 26, 2024•39 min
It's time for another Quick Fix! In our latest monthly exclusive for Slate Plus members , Carvell Wallace talks with How To! producer Sara McCrea about shopping for one of life's most important and overwhelming purchases: a mattress. Should Sara shop online or spend some quality time at one of the many (many!) brick-and-mortar mattress stores in town? (And does a green-tea mattress contain caffeine?) Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicem...
Nov 19, 2024•16 min
Ezra is adrift in his early 20s. He craves a life of meaning, community, and love. But he's struggling to find those things in a world that seems increasingly uncertain and discouraging for young people. On this existential episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Andrew McPeak , author , podcast host , and vice president of Growing Leaders . He tackles Ezra's big questions and explains how Gen Z (and everyone else) can make life more meaningful. If you liked this episode check out: How To ...
Nov 19, 2024•41 min
Contraception is a huge burden for women and people with uteruses to bear. What would it look like—on a personal, cultural, and medical level—if more men took on that responsibility? Today on How To!, a conversation about gender equity for reproductive care, from changes in sexual education to more accessible vasectomies to the development of new contraception methods. Carvell Wallace welcomes two guests: Dr. Sarah Miller, a board-certified family physician and family planning specialist at Nort...
Nov 12, 2024•39 min
Heather recently joined the board of her local library, a beloved institution from her childhood. While continuing to balance her day job, she is excited to be an active and engaged member of this community-led organization. But she's also grappling with time management and effective communication with her fellow board members. How can she express her ideas and opinions without overstepping boundaries? In this episode of How To!, host Courtney Martin welcomes nonprofit consultant Malini Sridhara...
Nov 05, 2024•35 min
Katie is terrified of dying. As the youngest in a big family, she can't stop thinking about the fact that all her loved ones may die before she does. Katie is a comedy writer who knows how to get laughs, but her obsession with death is real, and getting in the way of living. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Menzies, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Sydney and author of Tales from the Valley of Death , to share what she's learned about death anxiety. Exposure thera...
Oct 29, 2024•28 min
As the parent of five kids, Sadie is no stranger to feeling overwhelmed. Most of her kids have left the nest, but one adult daughter has severe autism and can't live or work on her own. Facing the end of school-based support services, Sadie has to figure out what comes next for her daughter—and for herself. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sarah Wayland, the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents , to talk about parenting two autistic young adults and how to ask for help. Li...
Oct 22, 2024•38 min
Erica judges other people by default. Whether they are acquaintances, co-workers, or new arrivals in a club, her first impression is often negative. "I would like to learn how to quash that part of myself," she says, because those judgments might be ruling out potential friendships. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Dr. Terri Apter , psychologist and author of Passing Judgment: The Power of Praise & Blame in Everyday Life. Terri explains that Erica's initial reactions are...
Oct 15, 2024•37 min
Quick Fix is How To!'s new monthly exclusive for Slate Plus members where we dive deeper into our latest episode. (Not a member? Here's how to join !) Today: Carvell Wallace continues his conversation with Growing Joy author and podcaster Maria Failla . They do a not-so-rapid-fire round of "plant superlatives" to help you select the plant that's right for you. Take the plant personality quiz that Maria mentioned in the show. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Save the Planet, Starting ...
Oct 08, 2024•10 min
At a new job, Jenna was put in charge of some beautiful plants that are imbued with deep significance to their co-workers. But despite Jenna's best efforts, the plants aren't doing so hot. Can the browning leaves, flopping stems, and dry soil be nursed back to health before it's too late? On this episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Maria Failla , host of the Growing Joy podcast and author of Growing Joy: The Plant Lover's Guide to Cultivating Happiness (and Plants) . Maria addresses Jenna and oth...
Oct 08, 2024•38 min
The How To! hosts love helping listeners find the answers they need. But sometimes a host needs help, too. On this episode, Courtney Martin and her brother, Chris, open up about how their father's dementia has led them to upend their own lives in order to become his caregivers. To help Courtney and Chris talk through what comes next, Carvell Wallace welcomes Dr. Allison Applebaum , whose book Stand by Me chronicles her own caregiving journey and her work at Memorial Sloan Kettering's Caregivers ...
Oct 01, 2024•47 min
Ari always dreamed of starting his own podcast. When he started interviewing fellow academics for the Taylor Swift class he's teaching, Ari suddenly had the perfect opportunity to turn those conversations into something called ¿What Are Taylor Swift Studies Anyways? Now he just needs to find an audience. On this meta episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Lauren Passell , founder of Tink Media and author of Podcast the Newsletter . Lauren shares creative ways to find new listeners and con...
Sep 24, 2024•42 min
Ben has two sons in the fourth grade. Like a lot of kids, they love YouTube videos, gaming, movies, and other online entertainment. Before his sons begin using social media, Ben wants to ensure they develop a good relationship with tech—and he's ready to recruit other families at their school to agree upon some rules of engagement. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Richard Culatta, CEO of the International Society for Technology in Education and ASCD . He's also the author of...
Sep 17, 2024•41 min
Quick Fix is How To!'s new monthly exclusive for Slate Plus members where we dive deeper into our latest episode. (Not a member? Here's how to join !) Today: Courtney Martin continues her conversation with journalist (and former How To! host) Amanda Ripley about her newly revised book, The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why . They discuss a key component to emergency response: trust. When disasters strike communities with low trust in government agencies and officials, it's ...
Sep 10, 2024•16 min
After a tree destroyed Tucker's roof during a tornado, he felt lucky to be alive—and underprepared for the next disaster his family might face. On this episode, Courtney Martin welcomes back author and former How To! host Amanda Ripley to discuss emergency preparedness and how regular citizens can react smarter during a devastating event. Amanda's newly updated book is The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why . After listening to this conversation, seek out (and save) this inf...
Sep 10, 2024•39 min
