How To! with Mike Pesca - podcast cover

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projectswww.mikepesca.com
You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying "um" - all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers - who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.
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Episodes

How to Coach Your Kid

Brian stepped up to coach his 7-year-old daughter's soccer team to save their season, but there's one major catch: he's never actually played the sport. Now battling imposter syndrome and the pressure of intense parental expectations, he feels completely overwhelmed. On this episode of How To!, we bring on former Major League Soccer goalkeeper Jeff Attinella to demystify the art of youth coaching. They discuss the growing problem of early sports specialization and why keeping kids moving is far ...

May 19, 202636 min

How To Maximize Your Credit Card Points

Al has over a million American Express points and dreams of booking another once-in-a-lifetime luxury vacation for his family. But the opaque, frustrating system of transferring and redeeming rewards has him completely paralyzed. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on Elliot Rosenberg, founder of the luxury points concierge Stratys, to demystify the credit card game. They discuss how airlines secretly devalue their miles and why hoarding points is a massive financial mistake. Elliott walks A...

May 12, 202629 min

How To Bounce Back From Burnout

When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she's gotta figure out what's next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Altucher, author , podcaster , and all-around interesting person . He's both created...

May 05, 202631 min

How To Manage Your Anger

Tyler holds himself to high expectations, placing a deep value on self-sufficiency and the social contract. But as a science teacher and dad to a blended family, he gets incredibly frustrated when others do not hold themselves to those same standards. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on psychologist Dr. Ryan Martin, known as the Anger Professor, to talk through the realities of male anger and why our closest relationships trigger us the most. He walks Tyler through assertive communication...

Apr 28, 202629 min

ENCORE How To Make a Huge Decision In 60 Minutes... Or Less

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changing decisio...

Apr 21, 202633 min

How To Solve a Mystery

Brett has spent her career in foreign policy — shaping strategy, advising governments, moving pieces on a board whose outcomes she may never live to fully see. It's meaningful work. It just never feels finished . So she's started thinking about a different kind of problem: the kind with a beginning, a middle, and an answer. Oh, also, and these mysteries keep presenting themselves in her workplace, and Brett loves mysteries! On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on Christian, a private investig...

Apr 14, 202640 min

How To Communicate with Your Pet

Living with a cat often feels like a game of high-stakes interpretation, especially when an 18-pound Maine Coon is performing a 4:30 AM tap dance on your head. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by cat owner Steve, who shares the reality of navigating the vocal demands of his feline companions, Mr. Bad and Vincent Then, cat behavior consultant Dr. Mikel Delgado steps in to debunk the "alpha" dominance myth and the false promise of AI-powered cat translators, explaining how felines actually u...

Apr 07, 202637 min

How to Not Say "Um"

Relying on filler words like "um," "like," and "you know" is a universal habit that clutters our speech and betrays our nerves, but simply willing yourself to stop only makes the problem worse. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by renowned data journalist and author Nate Silver, who bravely steps up as the guinea pig to have his own fast-talking, filler-heavy conversational style diagnosed in real-time. Then, communications coach Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of Don't Say Um , steps in to b...

Mar 31, 202644 min

How To Protect The Elderly From Scammers

Getting older brings new vulnerabilities, especially when navigating the sophisticated, ever-evolving world of financial scams targeting seniors. Today on How To! , Mike Pesca is joined by journalist Nancy Rommelmann, who shares the harrowing personal reality of watching her mother fall prey to predatory phone calls and a corrupt accountant. Then, AARP's Senior Director of Fraud Victim Support, Amy Nofziger, steps in to break down the DNA of modern elder fraud—from "pig butchering" crypto scheme...

Mar 24, 202641 min

How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer

Stand-up comedian and philosopher Myq Kaplan has built a successful career exploring the human condition, but navigating his own underlying anxiety presents a very different challenge. He knows how to handle recreational and spiritual psychedelic trips in the jungles of Peru, but the leap to "crossing the streams" and using these substances in a formal, clinical therapeutic setting feels uncertain. On this episode: How To! 's Mike Pesca brings on Dr. Will Van Derveer, a veteran psychiatrist, co-...

Mar 17, 202640 min

How To Make A How To Podcast

Mike Pesca has built a long career as a news analyst and podcaster, but taking over the How To! franchise presents a very different challenge: learning the ropes of the advice show genre. He knows how to dissect complex political events, but the leap to solving eccentric listener dilemmas while maximizing entertainment value feels new. On this episode: How To! 's Mike Pesca turns the microphone on himself and brings on Ian Chillag and Mike Danforth, the veteran co-hosts of NPR's How to Do Everyt...

Mar 10, 202640 min

How To Ghostbust The Old Fashioned Way

Enid Baxter Ryce has built a fascinating career as an artist and university professor, but her unique living situation presents a very different challenge: navigating life on a massive, decommissioned, and potentially haunted military base. She knows how to uncover the historical art left behind in the empty barracks, but the leap to understanding and confronting the supernatural entities that might linger there feels intimidating and out of reach. On this episode: How To! 's Mike Pesca brings o...

Mar 03, 202645 min

How to Emigrate as a Throuple

Dan Savage has built a legendary career giving sex and relationship advice, but as the U.S. political climate shifts, he's yearning to chase a very different dream: relocating his polyamorous family to Europe. He knows how to navigate complex relationship dynamics, but the leap to untangling international immigration law feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To! with Mike Pesca consults Charley Nieuwesteeg, a Dutch immigration lawyer specializing in the Dutch-Amer...

Feb 24, 202640 min

How To Be a DJ, Not a Playlist with Tom Nash

Stewart has built a respectable career as a lawyer in Montreal, but he's yearning to chase a very different dream: becoming a club DJ. He knows how to curate a killer playlist, but the leap to commanding a live room feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Tom Nash, a former top Sydney club DJ (known as DJ Hookie) who spins using prosthetic hooks. Tom offers Stewart guidance on bypassing the technical hurdles to truly read a crowd, building...

Feb 17, 202641 min

Announcing: How To! with Mike Pesca

How To! has a new host - veteran journalist and podcaster Mike Pesca, host of The Gist, Not Even Mad, and Funny You Should Mention podcasts. It's the same great Ambie Award nominated show, covering new topics, with new experts, and Mike's signature humor. You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as ...

Feb 13, 202656 sec

How To Start Writing (w/ Anna Quindlen & John Dickerson) Encore

You've probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it's easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you're writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen , bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life , and John Dickerson , co-host of Slate's Political Gabfest, CBS News reporter, author and veteran journaler. They share their wit a...

Feb 10, 202634 min

Now Is the Time to Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here's How. (Encore)

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alon...

Feb 03, 202630 min

How To Rob a Bank (Encore)

Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. In this episode of How To! Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery?

Jan 27, 202631 min

How To Never Miss a Deadline (Encore)

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can't meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she's a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist . Avalon's tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Christopher Cox, author of The Deadline Effect: How To Work Like It's the Last Min...

Jan 21, 202626 min

How To Know When to Quit Your Job (Encore)

Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke , author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away , helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late....

Jan 13, 202634 min

How To Confront a Vindictive Neighbor with Tig Notaro (Encore)

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podca...

Jan 06, 202629 min

Our Favorite Advice of 2025

In 2025, our listeners contacted How To! for advice about outsmarting student loans , moving to a new city , hosting a low-key gathering , living with chronic pain , quitting a dream job , letting go of ADHD shame , and yes, losing your virginity in your 40s . Today on the show: Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin get updates from some of those advice-seekers—and they check in with Jeff, whose family narrowly escaped an L.A. wildfire this year. Plus, what's ahead for How To! in 2026. How To! is ...

Dec 30, 202543 min

Quick Fix: Date Night Done Right

Tired of being the project manager for date night? On this bonus episode of How To!, Jackie Kelley explains how to make logistics equitable and easy—so your partner can help. Plus: a tip for quickly finding restaurants when date night is spontaneous. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple , Spotify , or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary B...

Dec 23, 202510 min

How To Create 'Marriage Rules' as a Couple

Cohabitation can be bliss—except when it comes to your partner's incompatible approach to household tasks. Bonnie likes things clean, organized, and prompt. Vince, on the other hand, is a classic procrastinator. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on self-described " human glitterbomb " Jackie Kelley to offer up some practical "marriage rules" designed to improve everyday communication with the love of your life. If you liked this episode check out: How To Build a Marriage That La...

Dec 23, 202539 min

Quick Fix: Sexual Fawning

In this bonus episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses another aspect of everyday life where fawning can show up and take over: sex. Ingrid tells How To!'s Courtney Martin about the ways we lose ourselves during sex—and how we can reconnect with our needs. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By join...

Dec 16, 202516 min

How To Stop Fawning

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth "F" after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at ...

Dec 16, 202539 min

How To Sing in Front of Other People

Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she's unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III , associate director of VocalEssence , for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group. If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song With Ben Folds . Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note a...

Dec 09, 202534 min

How To Give to a Good Cause—and Make It Count

With the year-end giving season underway, you might be wondering how much to donate and where you can make the biggest impact. On this Giving Tuesday, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Grace Chiang Nicolette of the Center for Effective Philanthropy to explain how to pick the right organizations and ensure your dollar goes as far as possible—regardless of how much you're giving. You can hear more of Grace on her podcast, Giving Done Right . If you liked this episode, check out How To Harness Yo...

Dec 02, 202534 min

How To Learn to Love Your City

It wasn't long after Melody Warnick moved to Blacksburg, Va., that she realized its nickname—"Bleaksburg"—wasn't a joke. Feeling stuck, she devised a research-based experiment to acclimate to her new city. On this episode: Melody explains how she went from hating Blacksburg to loving it (and how you can deepen your connection to the place where you live). Listen to part one of our conversation here: How to Move to a New City. If you liked this episode check out: How To Survive a Disaster and Qui...

Nov 18, 202527 min

How To Move to a New City

Kerry is ready to leave rural Virginia and move to a walkable, vibrant city. The only problem? She can't decide which walkable, vibrant city is right for her. On this episode, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Melody Warnick , author of This Is Where You Belong and If You Could Live Anywhere . Melody asks Kerry what she's really seeking in a new place—and introduces a process that can help make such an important decision. Next week, we'll talk with Melody about learning to love where you live....

Nov 18, 202536 min
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