How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything - podcast cover

How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything

"My two sons' godmother, who is a first-generation Dominican in New York City, was having a really, really hard time getting through to her mother about taking extra precautions during the start of the COVID pandemic," says Juleyka Lantigua, host and creator of How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything, Apple Podcasts' Spotlight show for January 2023. "It was like they were speaking to each other in two different languages. The cultural and generational differences between them seemed to push them further apart as their conversations progressed. I realized they represented millions of children and parents enmeshed in a drag-out white-knuckle fight because those of us who are 'Americanized' see the world—and most importantly, live in the world—very differently from our immigrant parents." Lantigua, who is a veteran reporter and founder and CEO of the digital audio and production company LWC Studios, launched How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything in 2020. She found out quickly that many listeners could relate to the experiences discussed on the show. "It was a grand experiment, and we were nervous and excited," she says. "And then the emails started pouring in from listeners who never knew they needed these conversations or those who wished they'd had the show growing up 20,30, 50 years ago!" Each episode features a listener with a problem that can range from navigating relationships with parents who disapprove of their spouse to maintaining a relationship with a difficult parent for the sake of the grandchildren. An expert on the episode’s topic joins Lantigua on the show to offer professional advice and analyze the generational and cultural dynamics at play. "So many of us straddle that hyphen of being American and something else. So many of us are trying to honor our parents' ways while making our own way in the world," Lantigua says. "This is a place to find solace and really good advice." After nearly 150 episodes, Lantigua is taking the plunge into extending the brand with a sister show, How to Talk to [High Achievers] about Anything. And her hope is that there’s more where that came from. "My vision is that the "How to Talk to" franchise continues to grow and serve the rising-majority audience in the US for years to come.”
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Episodes

She's Trying to Close the Emotional Gap with Papí

Kelsey and her Guatemalan dad had a distant relationship during her teenage years, but as an adult she wants to get to know him better, and strengthen their father-daughter bond. And, psychologist Gabriela Livas Stein returns to the show with strategies for deepening our relationships with our parents while navigating normative family roles. Kelsey Milian Lopez is the author of the poetry collection The Sociology of a Miami Girl . Featured Expert : Our expert this week is Gabriela Livas Stein, A...

Apr 25, 202220 minEp. 104

Doctor's Mom Won’t Listen to His Medical Advice

Abbas is a physician who cannot convince his Indian mom to get regular medical screenings. And public health professional Mary Helen O'Connor shares strategies for effective health messaging and for nudging our parents to be proactive about their health. Abbas is a physician by training and profession, and he's also the founder of Mipsterz , an arts and culture collective for emerging Muslim creatives. Featured Expert : Dr. Mary Helen O’Connor has courtesy faculty appointment in the School of Pu...

Apr 18, 202219 minEp. 103

Raised to Be a Modern Woman, But Expected to Follow Tradition

Helen's father encouraged her to study, to have ideas, to be self-reliant. But he also expects her to behave more traditionally as an Armenian woman, daughter, and future wife. And Amalya Tagakchyan, an Armenian-Americans therapist, speaks on resisting gender norms and navigating the pushback from parents. Featured Expert : As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Amalya provides a warm, non-judgmental, and direct approach to children, young adults, adults, and families in order to empower them to ...

Apr 11, 202220 minEp. 102

She Tries to Explain Her Social-Justice Activism

Irene encounters roadblocks as she tries to share her political engagement with her Mexican and Guatemalan parents. And Natalia Ortiz, a racial-justice organizer and professor of education, helps us talk with our families in concrete terms about the fight for systemic change. You can learn more about Irene's organizing work here . Our expert this week is Natalia Ortiz, assistant professor of education at Barnard College. Learn more about her work here . If you loved this episode, be sure to list...

Apr 04, 202220 minEp. 101

Parents Pushed Her into Law, But She Chose Dance Instead

Malischa has big plans for her dream career, but her Haitian parents have a more traditional definition of success. And Dorianne St. Fleur, a career and leadership coach who works with women of color, shares a handy acronym to help us make decisions with purpose and discuss them with our loved ones. Featured Expert : Dorianne St Fleur is an HR leader, Diversity & Inclusion strategist, and career & leadership coach who turns professional women of color into paid and prominent corporate po...

Mar 28, 202221 minEp. 100

Playing Mediator While Living with His Girlfriend and His Mamí

Alex is doing his best to ease tensions and make sure everyone gets along while he and his long-time girlfriend save for a house. And Omar Torres, a licensed psychotherapist, talks to us about navigating cohabitation dynamics. Featured Expert : Omar Torres is a licensed Clinical Social Worker based in NYC. His approach to therapy focuses on integrating the various aspects of personal identity and improving his client’s insight to help them lead a more authentic and fulfilled life. His techniques...

Mar 21, 202220 minEp. 99

Parents Want Her to Need Them More

Katherine was raised by her Ecuadorian parents to be independent, and feels that asking them for help comes at a cost. And therapist Evelyn Mejia shares ideas for maintaining firm boundaries while speaking our parents' love language. Featured Expert : Evelyn is a first generation, bilingual and bi-cultural Licensed Marriage Family Therapist. She was born in Guatemala raised in San Francisco's Mission district (currently based in LA). Evelyn specializes in working with bi-cultural and first gen f...

Mar 14, 202216 minEp. 98

Unable to Ask Her Parents for Emotional Support

After dropping out of college and eventually returning to school, Kelly had a hard time explaining to her Puerto Rican parents why she needed them at graduation. And Rosemary Perez, a professor of higher education, shares strategies for asking loved ones to support our career and educational goals. Featured Expert : Dr. Rosemary (Rosie) Perez is an Associate Professor in the Center for the Study of Higher and Postsecondary Education at the University of Michigan. Her scholarship leverages the st...

Mar 07, 202220 minEp. 97

Dating: He’s Afraid to Self-Sabotage

Haidar is in a relationship. And he wants it to be long term but worries he might mess things up. Coach Varsha Mathur offers advice on how to go after what we want with intention. Unlike a traditional coaching session, this conversation was not conducted in a confidential setting and all participants were made aware of this when recording this episode. Varsha Mathur is a dating and relationship coach, and mediator based in Charlotte, NC. Learn more about her work with singles and couples here an...

Feb 28, 202215 minEp. 96

Dating: She Wants to Date but Not Make the First Move

As a self-described "traditional dater," Mio feels discouraged by online dating apps and a new dating culture where she feels pressured to take the initiative. Coach Varsha Mathur shows us how to connect genuinely on any platform. Unlike a traditional coaching session, this conversation was not conducted in a confidential setting and all participants were made aware of this when recording this episode. Varsha Mathur is a dating and relationship coach, and mediator based in Charlotte, NC. Learn m...

Feb 21, 202218 minEp. 95

Dating: Wanting This, Not That

Felipa is trying to break a pattern in her dating life of not feeling seen or respected, but dating in her conservative hometown makes that a challenge. Coach Varsha Mathur offers strategies for discovering what we really want in a relationship, and why. Unlike a traditional coaching session, this conversation was not conducted in a confidential setting and all participants were made aware of this when recording this episode. Varsha Mathur is a dating and relationship coach, and mediator based i...

Feb 14, 202217 minEp. 94

Dating, But Not to Get Married

On this special series, first gens speak directly with an expert about how to navigate challenges in their love lives. Juleyka volunteered to go first and opens up about dating after divorce in a "discovery conversation" with dating and relationship coach Varsha Mathur, who shares her insight on why we should question what we want when re-entering the dating world. Unlike a traditional coaching session, this conversation was not conducted in a confidential setting, and all participants were made...

Feb 07, 202219 minEp. 93

He Disagrees with His Family on the Meaning of Being Cuban

Because of his progressive political views, Max feels a disconnect with his conservative Cuban-American family. And Ana Sofia Pelaez, an organizer in Miami, shares her insights on speaking with parents about contentious home countries. Featured Expert : Ana Sofia Pelaez is the Co-founder of the Miami Freedom Project . She’s progressive Cuban-American first-gen, and an activist who has organized Latino get out the vote efforts since 2016. The Miami Freedom Project is a progressive advocacy group ...

Jan 31, 202219 minEp. 92

How to Pitch Your Business Idea to Your Family

Alberto was excited to start his own business but had to be strategic about telling his concerned Mexican mom. And Marlene Orozco, who studies Latino entrepreneurs in the U.S., speaks with Juleyka about the challenges and opportunities entrepreneurs face, and how their families can best support them. Featured Expert : Marlene is a doctoral student in Sociology and is the Lead Research Analyst with the Stanford Latino Entrepreneurship Initiative , a program that explores and expands our knowledge...

Jan 24, 202221 minEp. 91

Family Encouraged Military Service, But She Made Her Own Plans

When Camila changed her mind about joining the Air Force, her Colombian parents were very disillusioned. And Yasmin Navarro, a college counselor who works with first-gen students and their parents, speaks with Juleyka about exploring college and career options while managing pressures and expectations from family. Featured Expert: Yasmin Navarro is a college counselor at Berkley High school, a public school in Berkeley, California. Through BH's College and Career Center (CCC) she supports studen...

Jan 17, 202221 minEp. 90

Raised Mormon, She Left the Church Fearing for Her Safety

After an incident of harassment, Carla began to question being in a church that wouldn't protect her. But the hardest part of walking away was talking to her Honduran parents about it. And Doralis Coriano Ortiz, a psychotherapist who helps BIPOC clients navigate adverse religious experiences shares strategies for speaking with loved ones about a crisis of faith. Featured Expert : Doralis Coriano Ortiz is a Chicago-based bilingual psychotherapist in private practice at Live Oaks and serves on the...

Jan 10, 202221 minEp. 89

Mom is Upset About Her Gift (Hint: It’s Not About the Gift)

Julie finds it hard to buy her Korean mom a gift she won't criticize. She also suspects her mom's reactions are not just about the objects. And Yin J. Li, a psychotherapist who works with clients from the Asian Diaspora, helps us identify and understand hidden family tensions so we can better address them. Featured Expert : Yin is a Portland-based psychotherapist with a private practice called Theralane . As a child of working class immigrants, they understand the shame and stigma of needing and...

Jan 03, 202217 minEp. 88

OG Check-in: She's Working to Forgive an Abusive Grandmother

Last year, Odalys talked to us about her Cuban grandmother’s toxic behavior and how familismo made it hard for her parents to address it. Today, she reflects on how their difficult relationship shaped her and how opening up about it on our podcast helped her begin to process it all. If you loved this episode, listen to Odalys's (aka Ody) original episode, When Familism Hurts . We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed voice memo to [email protected]. Y...

Dec 27, 202112 minEp. 87

OG Check-in: Designated Translator Is Learning to Say 'No'

When we met her, Louise was overwhelmed by how her Vietnamese-Chinese family relied on her for translation and administrative help. She comes back to speak candidly about creating better boundaries with her mom, sharing responsibilities with her brother, and managing her feelings around it all. If you loved this episode, listen to Louise's original episode, How to Get Help When You're the Designated Translator. We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed voice...

Dec 20, 202113 minEp. 86

OG Check-in: He Paid Dearly for Trying to Protect His Skeptic Family from COVID

At the onset of the pandemic Harold was frustrated with his parents for not following COVID-19 safety guidelines. He returns to the show for a moving conversation with Juleyka about how this turbulent year impacted his relationship with his family. He also shares some good news that keeps him moving forward. If you loved this episode, listen to Harold's original episode, Parents’ Reason for Ignoring COVID-19 Restrictions: “We gotta live.” We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration...

Dec 13, 202117 minEp. 85

OG Check-in: She Broke Free from a Toxic Family Triangle

Irina talked to us about being the mediator between her Cuban and Russian parents, and her more Americanized younger brother. She returns to tell us how the advice from our expert helped her, and reflects on why moving across the country altered the family dynamics. Irina is the host and creator of Pandemic Mama podcast. If you loved this episode, listen to Irina's original episode, She's Stuck in a Family Triangle . We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed...

Dec 06, 202115 minEp. 84

OG Check-in: Feeling the Pressures of Being the First to Graduate College

Walter couldn't tell his Mexican parents about the pressures he faced in college and law school. And when he decided he needed a break before taking the bar, he faced increased self-doubt. If you loved this episode, listen to Walter's original episode, He's the First to Go to College. We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed voice memo to [email protected]. You might be on a future episode! Let’s connect on Twitter and Instagram at @TalkToMamiPapi and...

Nov 29, 202116 minEp. 83

OG Check-in: Even a Pro Finds It Hard to Talk about Racism with Dad

Last year, Estefanía had a hard time speaking with her Puerto Rican dad about systemic racism and anti-blackness. She returns to the show as a licensed clinical social worker to share her insights from working through similar issues with her own first-gen clients. If you loved this episode, listen to Estefanía's original episode, Dad Denies Systemic Racism. We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed voice memo to [email protected]. You might be on a fut...

Nov 22, 202114 minEp. 82

OG Check-in: Toddler Son Is Teaching Her about Being Different

Our OGs are back! For the next few episodes, we're checking in with some of our original guests. When we spoke last year, Daniella struggled to help her parents understand her son's developmental delays. Since then, he has received an official diagnosis and is teaching the whole family how to support him best. If you loved this episode, listen to Daniella's original episode, Mom Has to Teach Grandparents to Accept Her Son's Difference. We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so...

Nov 15, 202118 minEp. 81

When Parents Going Back 'Home' Changes Everything

After living in the U.S. for 40 years, Eddie's parents surprise him with the news that they're moving back to South Korea. And, psychologist Sarah H. Moon helps us grieve and celebrate our parents' lives and triumphs. Eddie Kim wrote an article about his experience for MEL magazine titled "When Your Immigrant Parents Move Back Overseas, Where Is Home?" Find it here . Featured Expert: Sarah H. Moon is a queer, Korean American, immigrant, who is passionate about decreasing the mental health stigma...

Nov 08, 202118 minEp. 80

Everyone's Asking "Are You Pregnant Yet?"

The pandemic has made Annika reconsider having children, but the pressure from her Indian relatives is intense. And sociologist Farha Ternikar breaks down cultural expectations around motherhood, and offers guidance for pushing back. Annika Sharma is the author of Love, Chai, and Other Four Letter Words , and co-host of The Woke Desi podcast . You can learn more about her here . Featured Expert: Dr. Farha Ternikar (Ph.D. 2003) is an associate professor and teaches Gender and Society, Social Ineq...

Nov 01, 202118 minEp. 79

Abuela Is Against Trick-or-Treating

Conny and her 4-year-old daughter love Halloween, but since celebrating the holiday goes against the family's religious beliefs, Conny's mom strongly opposes it. And therapist Catalina Fortich is back to share tips for handling healthy conflict. Featured Expert: Catalina Fortich is a bilingual (English/Spanish) Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master of Science degree from Nova Southeastern University. Beginning in 2014, she trained as a systemic therapist, EMDR Certified, taking a ...

Oct 25, 202119 minEp. 78

Telling Mamí You Use Weed

Ana Sheila wants her traditional Mexican mom to know about her cannabis use. But the stigma around recreational drug use stops her. And Oriana Mayorga, an activist with Students for Sensible Drug Policy, shares strategies for speaking with parents about drugs with a social justice lens. Ana Sheila is the cohost of Tamarindo Podcast. Featured Expert: Oriana Mayorga (she/her/hers) is a community organizer dedicated to dismantling structural oppression, promoting racial justice, and ending violence...

Oct 18, 202119 minEp. 77

When Mom Body Shames You

V. Chau is pushing back against their mother's preoccupation with their weight and eating habits. And psychologist Yuying Tsong, who studies Asian American body image, speaks with Juleyka about disordered eating within immigrant families. Featured Expert: Yuying Tsong is a psychologist and Professor in the Department of Human Services at California State University, Fullerton. A mixed-method researcher, her/their research and clinical areas of interests include sexual and ethnic minority mental ...

Oct 11, 202121 minEp. 76

This Mom Is Decolonizing Her Parenting

Gisselle wants to be a different kind of mom, but her gentle parenting choices sometimes rub up against how her Dominican parents interact with her two boys. And Leslie Priscilla, founder of Latinx Parenting, speaks with Juleyka about "Chancla Culture" and decolonizing our parenting without antagonizing those who raised us. Featured Expert: Leslie Priscilla is a first generation non-Black Xicana mother to three bicultural children and daughter of immigrant parents from Mexico. She is a descendan...

Oct 04, 202119 minEp. 75
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