How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 224... and change doesn't happen spontaneously. The Platform (2019) (or El Hoyo (2019) depending on whether you are in spain or not), tells the story of Gorreng, a man who wakes up in a vertical prison of several hundred floors. Each day, a platform lowers food from the top floor downwards, with prisoners relying on the lack of greed of those above them in order to eat. Why? Well, why not? We talk about the bene...
Jul 03, 2020•1 hr 6 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 223...these are just things. They can be replaced. mother! (2017) stars Jennifer Lawrence as Mother in the completely straightforward and simple story of a man and woman who live in a house. When some strangers arrive and begin to take liberties with Mother's hospitality, tensions begin to rise. What follows is an absolutely normal time with normal events and nothing out of the ordinary with no double-meaning wh...
Jun 01, 2020•1 hr 3 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 222... and failure is not an option. Happy Death Day 2U (2019) reunites us with our favourite hungover student Tree for more time-looping horror hijinks, but this time with a pop sci-fi twist. How much merit can there be in repeating the premise of a film about repeating the same events over and over? Well... some merit, as it turns out. We offer some much-needed architectural advice, dig into some surprising em...
May 13, 2020•55 min
It's episode 221... and he said that wherever I went, he would find me, walk right up to me, and I wouldn't be able to see him The Invisible Man (2020) tells the story of an invisible man. Or does it? Cecilia has just escaped an abusive relationship, and her ex has apparently died by suicide - but now she has the distinct feeling that she's being haunted and hunted by his invisible presence. We suggest swinging away; creating an even playing field; and the merits of being able to accept when a r...
Apr 20, 2020•58 min
The long awaited episode is finally here. Joe sits down with his 3 month old son to discuss Stanley Kubrick's 1968 masterpiece, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and explains the film in detail even a starchild can understand. You can expect: - Stories of the film's production - 2001's place in the history of Sci-Fi - Interpretations of the film - Cooing There's even a little bit of survival chat to round off the episode. Feel free to get in touch with you thoughts on this format: @howtosurvivepod on Twitt...
Apr 13, 2020•1 hr 7 min
A quick update from your two favourite survivors. For anyone who can't listen: - We're going to start doing the podcast again, but releasing irregularly for a while. - From May 1st the Patreon will act as a 'tip jar'. There will be a single '1$ and up' tier, and no exclusive content. Feel free to pledge as much or as little as you like. All HTS content going forward will be freely available until further notice. - All proceeds from the Patreon will go to the WHO COVID-19 Response Fund until furt...
Apr 05, 2020•5 min
We're still on hiatus. But guess what - we're going to the polls to decide Joe's child's first ever movie. Download to find out more - and take advantage of the fact that we've currently disabled billing on our Patreon so you can listen to everything for free! www.patreon.com/howtosurvivepod Get in touch: [email protected]
Feb 10, 2020•8 min
*Editors note: The weird echoey thing is largely gone, but there's still a bit of it. Sorry about that.* It's a New Nightmare (1994), which tells the story of Heather Langengkamp who played Nancy in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) playing a fictionalised version of herself (the actress) playing the character again for a final time, but in the process of filming it (in the fictional world of the film) she begins to be haunted by Freddy Krueger (in both the movie she's filming, and her real life,...
Jan 01, 2020•1 hr 6 min
*Editors note: As with the Home Alone episode, we recorded this in Joe's echoey garage - so it sounds a bit weird. Sorry!* It's Boxing Day! That can only mean one thing - we find another random Christmas film to cover because there are only really two Die Hard films that are related to Christmas. Why not cover one of the many, many Christmas-themed horror movies, given that we are a horror podcast, I hear you ask? Well, because then we wouldn't be covering the Arnie-led slapstick classic Jingle ...
Dec 26, 2019•44 min
*Editors note: We recorded in Joe's garage for the first time using unfamiliar equipment, so the audio sounds a bit spacier than usual. Apologies!* It's Christmas! That can only mean one thing - we retread old traditions despite no-one finding the joy in them that we once had. In that spirit, we tackle the unloved, unwanted child of the Home Alone franchise - the made-for-TV Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012). It's lumps of coal for Christmas all round as we unwrap another certifiable stinker ...
Dec 24, 2019•51 min
It's episode 219...I've had it with these...well, you know the rest. Snakes on a Plane (2006) tells the story of cool surfer dude Sean who inadvertently witnesses a gangland murder and winds up under the protection of FBI agent Flynn. Can Flynn get Sean back to Los Angeles to testify, or will the nefarious Eddie Kim try and kill Sean before he arrives - maybe by, I don't know, filling the entire plane with horny snakes? We flick our forked tongues over a B-movie with a Hollywood budget, Joe ques...
Dec 18, 2019•54 min
It's episode 218...and they made some mess too. Smashing into buildings and everything. They always make a mess. The Birds (1963) tells the story of some birds who, sick and tired of having the unfettered freedom of the skies, wish to rise up and attack the land-dwelling human population too. So, they migrate, only this time, they're migrating straight into your eyes, beaks-first, and there's not a damn thing you, me, Mitch or poor Melanie Daniels can do about it. We discuss one of the all-time ...
Dec 11, 2019•47 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 217...how dare you disobey your mother?! Coraline (2009) tells the story of Coraline (duh), a precocious and bored 11-year old girl who discovers an alternate world hidden through a tunnel in her house, where everything is exactly as it seems and it's all fine and there's nothing at all to worry about, the end. Except for rats, bats, button-eyes, and the nefarious Other Mother. We ask whether animated 'horror' c...
Dec 04, 2019•45 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 216...and I’m running away from myself, I guess. Doctor Sleep (2019) is Mike Flanagan's sequel to Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of Stephen King's The Shining , but also an adaptation of Stephen King's Doctor Sleep , itself a sequel to Stephen King's The Shining , but one that disavows the changes made by Stanley Kubrick's The Shining , changes that Mike Flanagan reinstates in his Doctor Sleep , in order to serve ...
Nov 27, 2019•56 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 215...and break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue. Hamlet (1996) tells the story of Prince Hamlet. After his father dies in a suspicious orchard accident, Hamlet struggles to adjust to life with his uncle as his new stepdad. The same uncle is also the king now, and everyone is feeling very guilty, and before long Hamlet kills someone by accident, and then a bunch of other people die. It's four hours long We d...
Nov 20, 2019•53 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 214...and don't let 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would' Macbeth (2015) tells the story of Macbeth. After hearing from some witches that he will be king, Macbeth decides to take matters into his own hands to move things along. Assisted by his wife, they kill the current king - but not everyone is happy about it. In fact nobody is happy about it. Especially Macbeth. This is one of the most visually spectacular movies...
Nov 13, 2019•54 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 213...and two days ago, I had this nice simple life. And now it’s a nightmare. Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) is the latest entry in the increasingly unloved and unwanted Terminator franchise, but with Tim Miller of Deadpool fame at the helm and with ol' Jimmy Cameron lurking in the background, can Arnie and Linda Hamilton wrestle the series back into shape? This latest entry follows Dani, who's quiet life is torn...
Nov 06, 2019•52 min
Hello. Because of various administrative issues, neither me or Joe were free to record our scheduled episode of the podcast this week - the long-awaited and keenly anticipated Terminator: Dark Fate episode will be next week instead. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this selection of messages from our Mailbag podcasts which, until this compilation, has been a Patron-exclusive. If you like what you hear, why not head over to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to check out our weekly Mailbag episodes...
Oct 30, 2019•34 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 212...and all I have Joe has are negative thoughts. Joker (2019) reimagines the iconic DC supervillain as the pitiful Arthur Fleck, clown-for-hire and aspiring stand-up comedian. Life is hard for the downtrodden Arthur as he struggles to make his mark against the backdrop of a Gotham City on the brink of chaos. Could a kindly neighbour, a shot at stardom and the identity of his absent father all prove a ray of h...
Oct 23, 2019•1 hr 11 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 211...and he's a monster. Pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive. From a research point of view, Lecter is our most prized asset. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) follows Clarice Starling on her quest to thwart flaying serial killer Buffalo Bill. To gain insight on psychopathic murderers, Starling is sent to interview Hannibal 'the Cannibal' Lecter, a convicted cannibalistic serial killer. But will her tri...
Oct 16, 2019•53 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 210... and these are ancient dream demons. Supposedly they roam the dreams of the living till they find the most evil, twisted human imaginable. Then they give him the power to cross the line and turn our nightmares into reality. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) tells the story of John Doe (no really), a young man who is used as bait to lure Freddy Krueger's child back to Springwood, so that Freddy can ...
Oct 09, 2019•56 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 209... and I was just entering, and I was nervous and excited, and I saw you. My hero... The Perfection (2019) tells the story of Charlotte, who has returned to the world of top-tier cello playing after a ten year absence. Charlotte had been caring for her mother who has now died, and appears to seek revenge on Lizzie, the cellist who replaced her as the favourite student of the cello academy owners. We advise e...
Oct 02, 2019•49 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 208... this meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun. It: Chapter 2 (2019) tells the story of the kids from the first movie. 27 years have passed and they've grown up, and they've forgotten about the events of the first film! But when they return to Derry, they're soon reminded and take on Pennywise again with renewed vigour. We advise on the dangers of playing with your food; the merits of moving away fr...
Sep 24, 2019•47 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 208...it's started. You better brace yourself. The Wailing (2016) tells the story of Jong-goo, a police chief investigating a series of grisly murders in rural Korea. The murders are apparently linked to a mysterious disease afflicting the local population, and some believe the cause to be a strange Japanese man who has moved to the area. It's one of the most captivating films we've covered in some time. We talk...
Sep 18, 2019•54 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 207...I'm gonna start beating the shit out of you in the next five seconds, and you're gonna swallow a lot of blood for a fucking billfold! The Grey (2011) sees Liam Neeson walking the tundra, cosh in hand, looking for the first wolf bastard he can get his hands on. You see, his friend was the victim of a plane crash, and she dealt with it in the most extraordinary way, but his immediate reaction was...did she k...
Sep 11, 2019•50 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 205...and I couldn't do anything. I tried to go back. She was already gone. She was already gone. 28 Weeks Later (2007) (or 196 Days Later (732555) if you're a traditionalist) is the follow-up to Danny Boyle's seminal London-set apocalyptic horror. But with Danny absent can the sequel live up to the first film's weighty reputation? We discuss a post-pandemic city that's gone to the (Isle of) Dogs, debate Don's d...
Sep 04, 2019•47 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 204...and it has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. Night of the Living Dead (1968) is one of the all-time classics of horror cinema, and sets out much of what we now know and love about the zombie genre - an apocalypse without apparent cause, a not-so-safe place to hole up, ordinary folk in extraordinary circumstances and the nightmare...
Aug 28, 2019•41 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 203...and please stop calling me 'Father' Signs (2002) tells the story of Graham Hess, a former pastor who lost his faith when his wife was killed in a tragic accident. Now Graham looks after his children and runs a small farm with his brother. All is fine, until crop circles appear - followed by several other symptoms of an alien invasion. We talk about swinging away without needing to be prompted; the benefits...
Aug 21, 2019•47 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 202...and look at my face; I was not thinking anything bad about you. The Sixth Sense (1999) tells the story of this person named Malcolm. He worked with children. He loved it. He loved it more than anything else. And then one night, he found out that he made a mistake with one of them. He couldn't help that one. And he can't stop thinking about it, he can't forget. Ever since then, things have been different. H...
Aug 13, 2019•46 min
How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 201...and don’t forget about all of the beautiful Swedish women you’ll meet in June. Midsommar (2019) tells the story of Dani, who suffers a family tragedy and throws herself into a trip to a Swedish midsummer festival in an attempt to work through her grief. She's joining her boyfriend Christian and his friends, but is this quaint paradise all it seems, and what do the mysterious Harga cult have in store for th...
Aug 07, 2019•58 min
