Avoiding the Holiday Shopping Hangover #045

how many miles you're going. And man, on my odometer, just racked up sixteen hundred miles on my bike in the past just over a year. Dude, that's a lot. Did you, like, right down to Florida or something, take the Silver Commets to Alabama? No, but if that's a challenge, I will accept and make that happen. Dude, have you been on the Silver Commet It literally runs from Atlanta to Alabama? No? But actually, it's funny you mentioned that. I was talking to this guy the other day. He's

like really old guy actually, and he bikes. Let's see, he's like eighty. He's like Katie. Okay, So yeah, legit, old legit. But he rises his bike on the Silver Common Trail every day. I know. No, it just first off, it was a challenge to me to keep riding my bike, not to get soft in your old age exactly, and the fact that he was still doing it was super impressive.

But also it made me think, I need at some point to challenge myself to do this bike from where we live and go all the way to the state border and then bike all the way back in one day. I need to make that happen at some point, just because that just sounds like a fun challenge to commit to. Yeah. Man, there are some beers and the paneers. We already said beers and paneers together before. That's a nice ride. That's good,

like the little side bags. But yeah, for those who don't know, Joel commutes pretty much every single day, you

commute to and from work on your bike. I will say, Matt, we're getting into that uber cold weather season and anybody who is a big time bike rider knows that it just becomes a little bit harder than yeah, a little more uncomfortable, right that kind of fall time and a lot of places is actually perfect falls great, but as you get a little bit further into winter, it starts to become those like dog days of super cold, and maintaining that pace of you know, biking in to work

every single day is hard. I mean to do my darndest. And you know what, my old friend Harry, who rides his bike every day on the Silver Commet, he is on the guy's name, har it's his name. He's gonna be my shining star. I'm going to look to him as my beacon of of bike riding truth. So immediately, just picture Clint Eastwood on a bike, because like I guess, dirty Harry. Did you ever watch Then with your dad? We'll say, We'll say, Harry is kind of like Clint Eastwood.

Dirty Harry. Yeah, I'm feeling it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Silver commets to Alabama. I don't even know how far it goes into the state, but I think it's well. I think we only at least from here to the border. I think it's like forty five miles or something like that. I would assume we could do ninety miles around trip in a day, right, I used to do that in college. Or there is this road trip I won't go into the details, but we'd ride our bikes from Athens down to Jacksonville for the Georgia

Florida game. There was a three day ride and the longest day I think was a twenty miles, which is a lot. That sounds like a lot. Yeah, that's like Twitter France levels, right, twenty miles, like the Lance Armstrong of riding the cargo bike. You Know, something I was thinking about earlier today is I've been telling all my friends about this because I am all about it. But coffee, I've been delaying my cup of coffee every day now until either later in the morning or like mid afternoon.

It's because of this article. A friend of mine sense and explained how like your QUARTERSOL levels in the morning, they kind of peak right when you wake up, and they say to not drink coffee right away and instead, if you want it to be effective, to delay it slightly. And I feel like it's going to change my life, specifically, it's keeping me from changed life. That's a big freaking thing.

The same has changed my coffee drinking lafe. I'll say, okay, alright, well it keeps me as well from getting a second cup. And I work from home and a lot of times that means just more wasted time because I'm getting up and boiling the water. And if I'm drinking twice as much coffee, man, that's twice as much. That's twice as much coffee that I'm not having to purchase, let alone

make as well. I've just found it to be a nice little hack that I've done recently to decrease the amount of coffee I drink every day and at the same time save a buck. And have you felt like you're dragging at all in the morning, because I know most people when they wake up, a lot of people have like an automatic coffee maker and it turns on

and they smell the folders like brewing or something. I don't recommend that first of all, or not drinking folders or maxwill, but that's like something that people look forward to or need. Almost was there like a period of a few days where, like a drug addict, you felt like that need and you had to kind of wean yourself off. I will say, now that's getting a little

bit cooler. I do kind of miss having that hot drink at breakfast, like we always do fried eggs in the morning, but only from a warm drink standpoint, so I might start having maybe a small cup of tea or something, but from a caffeine standpoint, no, man, I've I found I just don't need it. And it's been a few months, so I can't remember maybe as much the effects initially, but yeah, I would totally check it out. And what we'll do, I'll throw a link up to

this article in our show notes. This kind of breaks it down. How Yeah, your quartosol levels peak in the morning, around lunchtime, and so what they say is to instead drink coffee like mid morning, so when those cortosol levels drop and we kind of get a little groggy. But for me, dude, when I needed is that mid afternoon slump, like around two o'clock or three o'clock. For me, I gotta have my coffee otherwise I'm falling asleep at the desk right in emails, and that's always bad. Well, I

love the idea. I don't know if I'm going to change my habits, but I'm gonna read this article and at least give it a chance. In my brain, I'm pretty sure Harry doesn't drink his coffee until the afternoon. Gosh, that guy has a baller here. I'm just telling you I still want to be like Harry I was speaking of coffee. You wanna introduce our beer for this episode. Nice segue, Matthew. Yesterday on the show, we are drinking a Sierra Nevada nar Wall Imperial Stout, and this beer

has coffee in it and also dark chocolate. So I can't wait to talk about the beer with you, Matt at the end of this episode. Yeah. What's awesome about this beer, too, man, is that this is something that you can pretty much pick up in any grocery store that carries decent craft beer. A lot of times on the episodes, we have beers that are really rare, to say the least. Sometimes they're illegal to get your hands

on because it might be homebrews. But yeah, that's what I love about the beers that we enjoy is that we like all the beers just about and we like flouting the loss. We love that illegal beer. You're a scoff law. Yeah, anybody who is into beer and especially like stouts, you can easily find Sire In Nevada on your shelf than our whale. It's here in about actually

normally known for kind of their hoppy beer offerings. They're they're more like pale ales and I p a s. But man, I can't wait to talk about this stout uh and and how it's completely out of here in Nevada's wheelhouse, but how they make it so deliciously and we'll get to that later. So with that being said, Matt, let's talk about avoiding the holiday shopping hangover. That's rajel. With Black Friday coming up, this is a topic that's

definitely on people's minds. Specifically, we're talking about holiday shopping, and we want to make sure that you are avoiding that hangover. We don't want you paying for your holiday shopping months to come into the next year. Yeah, and and Matt, the problem is that most people, when it comes to their holiday spending, they haven't really thought through how much they're gonna spend, you know, how they're gonna

pay for it. And so it turns out that most people spend more money than they intended to spend, and because it wasn't thought out well and budgeted oftentimes, then those people find themselves in a shopping hangover after the holidays, where the credit card bills come rolling in in January and it kind of hits them upside of the head,

like WHOA have that happened? Um? And and it's just because of a lack of planning, a lack of intentionality when it comes to holiday spending and kind of letting the joyous holiday season that is a lot of fun get the best of them when it comes to how they spend their money. That's right, man. So some quick stats, shoppers typically spend more than a trillion dollars during the Christmas holiday a shopping season, and that is a ton

of money. And I saw another statuo that in the UK that on average, somebody will spend half of their monthly income. And so if you make like around fifty dollars, you're looking at close to two thousand dollars that you're spending on holiday shopping. Wow, who are these people? Dud? Yeah, that's crazy. I don't know what other people spending, but my family does not spend anywhere near that. That's just a lot. I mean, you'll probably spend close to that

on a gift for me, But that's understandable, right. Podcasting buddies, we gotta do that for each other. Yeah, because we're best friends. Dog. Yeah, you know, Wait, what are you gonna get from me? Man, I was thinking of pony Maybe I don't know. Yeah, So ultimately, Matt, you don't want to overspend be left with that debt on your credit cards, so you'll be paying off all of next year and you have to ask the question to why

are you doing this? Consumerism dominates our culture and it's what we see in ads all around us, and it makes it look festive and fun to get the free shipping and start buying stuff for all the people that you care about. That's what's fed to us. Yeah, I agree.

I think that's what most people would think of. When you stay the holidays, Their minds immediately go to shopping and packages and gifts and paper and just you know everything that goes along with that in dollar signs in the eyeballs, that's where mind goes, right, So we would make a push to mindfulness this time of year to

kind of pushing back against that rampant consumerism. And the only way you're going to be able to get through the shopping season well, to actually buy the gifts that you intend to buy and stick within a reasonable budget is by planning ahead and staying organized. And we'll run through those strategies and how to create that perfect holiday money game plan right after the break. All right, Joel, we're back from the break, and yeah, like you said,

we're gonna talk about some strategies. We're gonna talk more about the overall game plan on how to approach holiday shopping. And so the first thing I want to do is to make sure that you're planning ahead and that you're staying organized. Specifically, we want you to make a list of potential expenses, think about all the different things that

you'll be spending money on, not just the gifts. Once you've gotten that together, fine where you can cut or eliminate all together, because chances are you're gonna be dreaming much bigger than maybe your pocketbook can handle. And we understand that this is gonna be tough. Um, you know, you've got to ask yourself the question how much should I spend for each person on my list and for each individual that you have on your list. It's gonna be different and for you as the gift giver, right

as the shopper. This is a tough question. This is cutting back and it's never something that is fun to do, but this is something that is necessary to keep your expenses down. Yeah, it's always helpful for me to remember to when I'm creating that list that the people that are on that list are usually people I care about a lot, right, And I know those people wouldn't want me to spend money that I didn't have, um just in order to get them a gift for the holidays.

I would maybe you would give me that pony dog, all right, I'll make it happen. Fine, I'll work three jobs just to get you that pony, but a couple of tips, right in order to make that happen. Start saving now, So how much do you want to spend? Divide that out by the monthly amount that you need to save. Think about doing that in an Excel spreadsheet. Right, And we're already in November. We're already closing in on Black Friday, Cyber Monday. The holiday shopping season is getting

ready to be in full swing. So you don't have a whole lot of time to start saving for this Christmas right now. But you know what, most people don't think about saving that Christmas money at all or until next November. Yeah, so you still have some time at least, and that's better than no time. So I would say, start making that list now, start thinking now about what you're spending is going to look like for this Christmas, and then you know what, You've kind of got a

head start thinking ahead about next Christmas. And it becomes just so much easier when you're thinking about it, you know that far in advance. Yeah, man, And I'll totally second that approach as far as decide how much that you're going to spend and dividing it out per month, because that's exactly what we do. And I think a lot of folks might push back against that because they think, man, that just doesn't sound fun, right, that doesn't sound like Christmas.

But that doesn't sound like the holidays. It just sounds to formulaic and stiff. Like, No, that's just responsible, Like that's what you do when you have an expense. When it comes to your car insurance, if you pay your car insurance once a year, because you get that discount, that discounted rate, if you pay it all at once, you divide out how much you need to set aside every single month. Look at Christmas or whatever holiday that you celebrate, look at it the exact same way. This

is an expense that's not an emergency. It comes every year and you know that this is something you can plan for. And we don't think about people that budget

accordingly for car insurance to be Scrooge like characters. Yeah, but for some reason, that's how we think of people that budget like that for Christma is that man, I don't know, like if you think it's got to be like spontaneous and you're just like gonna whip out the cash or you know, swipe their credit card without even thinking about it, is the way that it's supposed to go. But that's just irresponsible or you see that, Yeah, perfect gift for someone that is way outside your price range.

You know what I hate is the car commercials, but the car sitting in the driveway with a giant red bow on. Who the heck does that? Like nobody does that? Right? But also don't forget about other holiday expenses like travel house decorations. Right for us, that's something that that kind of creeps up every year because we want the place looking really good. Is we end up getting a bigger tree or we want to add another wreath to the mix, and so before you know it, Yeah, the holiday de

coorse kind of creeping up there. So we got although last year, you've got a really sweet wreath for free on the side of the road. Oh, we did. Should I share that with us? Just I want people to know. I mean, you're super good at finding free stuff on the side of the road, and and that's that's a nice quality to have. You know why. It's because we go on walks all the time, and we ride our bikes, and so I feel like when you're riding your bikes you're able to see stuff up close. If you're zipping

buy in your car, it just looks like trash. But in our case, our neighbor was tossing out this four foot wreath I saw her put out on the curb when in years past I've seen her hanging on our house. It's like the size breath that they would punt on the side of a Macy's. Yeah, it's pretty big, man. And so I was like, Kelly, are you putting that on the curve? Is that a curb alert? Are you

gonna toss that? She's like, yeah, the lights don't work anymore, And I thought to myself, no problem, I got more lights, so dude, Yeah, we totally snatch that up. It's currently up in the attic and we're gonna pull that out when it comes time to decorate the house because it's

beautiful because the wrap lights around it. So if you get free stuff like Matt, it makes it even easier to budget, right, But you want to factor in all those things, including Christmas cards, because cards, those are the sort of things that will break your budget because you didn't factor them in. And those things you can plan on right. You can plan ahead knowing that that's going to happen, and most people just forget leave it out

because all they're thinking about are the gift buys. But think about those other purchases you're gonna make during the holidays too, And what you absolutely don't want to do is to wait until the last minute, you know, right before Christmas. If you're waiting to make any of your purchases until then, or even making your decisions as to what you're gonna spend, then it's pretty much gonna be

too late. You're gonna ruin your bud it, you're gonna go way over and you know you're gonna be in the sort of situation where you're gonna be paying for Christmas well into the New Year. It's gonna be bad news, bears. You don't want that no way, So yeah, we would encourage you to start shopping now, right. The best deals to be had, the best prices that you're gonna find when it comes to shopping for people you care about for Christmas are gonna be had in November, in early December.

And if you're waiting till a few days before Christmas time, it turns out you are going to pay wait, wait, wait, wait, way too much. It's just like buying an airline ticket the day before the flight takes off. That is like the worst time you could potentially buy an airline ticket.

And the same thing goes with buying Christmas presents. You're going to want to buy while there's a lot of competition happening, and let it be said, there's a lot of competition happening in that spear right their Target and Amazon have announced, you know, free shipping for the holidays, So there's just so much competition here. You don't want to take yourself out of that mix. By waiting until the day before or two days before Christmas and hopping

into the mall, you're gonna pay full price. You're gonna pay way too much for everything. Yeah, you don't want to be that guy and also too man, not even just with retail. But if you start shopping earlier, if you start thinking about what it is that you want to purchase for an individual, say earlier that year, there's a good chance you could find something, even like at a yard sale. And I know that sounds kind of like cheap, right, you're gonna buy like a gift for

some day for Christmas at a yard sale. But if you find something that you know that they want, or something that is more of say an antique, that you wouldn't buy a new anyway, well why not buy it at a yard sale or a garage sale where you

can get it for crazy cheap. And so because you started shopping early, like way early in June or July, you're able to go ahead and get that gift, make that purchase, and cross them off the list, and just think about how less stressed out that's gonna make you as well, all right, Matt, And yes, So one of the things that's going to help you actually stick to that plan is to be able to keep a running list with the names of the people you want to

get gifts for your right ideas down next to their names. Maybe keep it in the note tap on your phone. Yeah that's exactly. Yeah, that's what we do. I got like a secret sort of note that's labeled differently. I mean, it's not like it's gonna go on there and try to figure out what it is. I'm gonna get her. Yeah, that's that's totally what I do. So you're saying Kate wasn't the type of person to take the tape off the presence carefully and look inside and then wrap it

back up. No, man, don't you know what's funny is I don't think either of us are that way. I was the kind of kid that if I accidentally stumbled upon a gift that my parents said not hidden well enough, or it was just kind of tucked behind something, I would pretend I didn't see it because I didn't want to ruin the surprise for myself. Specifically, I remember stumbling upon Super Mario Brothers three. I knew I was gonna have to pretend that I didn't see it in order

in order to be surprised on Christmas morning. You try to like erase the memory from your brain. Yeah. Yeah, like control out, delete reset. So I was a sneaky kid at least for a few years, who knew lamely where my parents hit the presents, and oh yeah, what there was one spot and it wasn't hard to find out. You could have done better, mom, But no, I'm just kidding. But it was easy to find and I would try

to sneak in there and look. But then, you know, after a couple of years of that and realizing that

actually it made Christmas way more disappointing, I stopped. But yeah, man, I'm completely with you making that list and that way too, sort of like with shopping, right, if you start way early, if you start thinking way early about the different gifts that you're gonna get somebody, it allows you time to be creative, allows gives you time to be thoughtful and think of something that maybe you wouldn't have thought of had you waited until the last minute or even the

month before. You know, when the when the clock's ticking, you may not think of a certain gift. It just may not come to mind. Yeah, there's nothing I hate more than kind of being on this timer, this time clock, where I have to find this perfect gift in thirty days or less right, or I'm not gonna make the cut off and it's gonna be a terrible Christmas for everyone.

I love thinking ahead because it gives me that chance to throughout the year kind of be looking and find something that is either a just the perfect gift or be a great deal and just snack it when I see it. And so all of our shopping for our girls, you know, we've got two girls, five and three, all of our shopping for them. For Chris, this is done already, is really yeah. Man, So I say all this, but

Kate's kind of more in charge of our immediate family. Well, Emily found a lot of good stuff, especially in the all the Center aisle. So I don't know if anybody out there, all these shoppers, man, they know what's up. The Center aisle especially oftentimes has great kids stuff and m look at that. Yeah, you're like, oh, that's a perfect gift. And so oftentimes Emily will buy that stocking up for our kids for Christmas and also for other

kid birthdays. But yeah, so keeping that list with the names and making it kind of top of mind as something that you check into periodically throughout the year, it's a good strategy for helping you save money and avoid overspending, you know, right before Christmas. Yeah, that's true, man's overspinning, right, So like smart shoppers like used sales and coupons and

credit cards with purchase protection, things like that. And we talked about credit card purchase protection in our lesser known credit card Benefits episode and it's already come back to help me. So yeah, I think that's an important element to this boom. That's right, man. However, even taking all that into account, it's still not justification, right for over consumption.

If you know yourself well and you know you might be tempted to overspend, use cash because it's not worth it to totally blow your budget and be stuck with that holiday spending hangover. Yes, so, Matt and I we do like credit cards for a lot of reasons, and there are additional benefits if you buy things, you know with the credit card that you don't get when you

buy with cash. But there is a huge caveat, and the caveat is if you're not spending within your means, and you're putting things on your credit cards that you know you won't be able to pay off come January.

That is when we would say avoid the credit cards, take that temptation out of your life, put cash in an envelope, and go that route because that is gonna be the safest for your finances, that's gonna keep you from overspending, and it's just gonna kind of help you stick to that that budget that you've laid out for yourself. So if credit cards are kind of that like Achilles heel for you and you're not gonna be able to keep it in check, then definitely stick with the cash method.

Another approach is to consider having an honest conversation with your family, uh and friends, even about gifts and expectations. This is something that even aside from having like, you know, let's pretend you're not even gonna do some sort of huge Christmas or holiday gift exchange revamp, like you're just gonna have your typical spending, it's still worth it to have those conversations where you're discussing what it is that you're expecting, what you're going to discuss, what it is

that you're going to do or that you're not gonna do. Uh. These just are important things you need to communicate with your family and friends. You can't just say too that we're using the term Christmas a lot. I think and I know that there are people that celebrate other holidays prides of Christmas, So well, you want to get that out there that you know, whether you're celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, another holiday, this time of the year, there's still this

tendency to buy gifts that you can't afford. And so we're not trying to certainly alienate anyone who celebrates a different holiday, but we just want to get that out there. No matter what it is, it's this time of where you want to buy people awesome things and appreciate them and show them how much you care. Yeah, you can overspend and go into debt and celebrate Hanaka, yes exactly, exactly those eight crazy nights and way too much spending.

Oh that's right, man. So so back to like the conversations right with your family and friends, something that's I

I kind of touched on, but set spending limits. This might seem kind of lame, right to say that, like, Okay, we're only going to spend ten dollars per adult, but if you can kind of turn that on its head and think about how much fun you could have having to find a gift for like your cousins who are now adults, and you have to buy a gift like something creative, something funny, something we're going to really have a good time for only ten dollars. Talk about that.

That's something that needs to be discussed because on the flip side of that, you don't want to be the person that doesn't follow the spending limits and goes and spends fifty bucks on like a bottle of nice Scotch or something, or for every everybody, which I would love. By the way, if somebody wants to give me a bottle of nice Scotch, I'm all about that. We'll post

Matt's mailing address in the show notes. But you know what, you know what I'm saying, Like, if you said a spending limit, it's like bringing something nice to a wide devil party. Yeah, it's like that one gift that everybody kind of wants because it's actually a nice gift. It's supposed to be a wide elephant party. What are you doing?

You ruined everything? Yeah, and so if you have a bigger family, you should consider maybe like an assigned gift exchange draw out of a hat maybe use a name drawing. So for me and my family, we have with our siblings instead of buying each other a gift, our siblings have spouses and it just becomes harder to know where

to draw the line. So we have a drawing where we get a different sibling couple that we buy for, and we have a set spending limit, and we also prioritize and experience when we're buying a gift for each other. So usually it's it's a little fun, it's it's a little outside of the box and that kind of makes it easier for us because there's fewer people to buy

for and it feels a little more intentional. And also with that spending limit, right, Like, we talked about creating that spending limit and just having an open, honest conversation about it. That's kind of how it came about, was it. Yeah, we felt like we had too many people to buy for and it kind of felt like a burden as

opposed to kind of this really fun thing. And it's actually kind of I feel like, allowed us to create something fun where we got to enjoy buying the gift for this couple that we care about as opposed to feeling like we needed to buy this individualized gift for every single person in our family, and um, you know what, each family is going to kind of come up with maybe a little bit of a different solution, But that's kind of something you can propose to your family if

you're kind of overwhelmed with feeling like you have to buy gifts for every single human in your family, it just kind of maybe this can make it a little bit easier. So with a family that has kids, maybe the rule is that only the kids get gifts and the adults just kind of get to hang back and watch the kids, you know, open the gifts and enjoy that. Like you said, it's gonna vary from family to family,

but just make sure you're part of that solution. Make sure you're part of that change and that you're not just kind of going along with this idea of, oh, we all have to spend at least fifty bucks per person, this is something that's got to be done. We're all going into debt because we don't want to talk about it, and there's just an expectation of this is how it is. You know, like I hate that, I hate that there is this pressure and instead it can just be avoided

just by talking about it. Yeah, those conversations, right, aren't always easy, but they're important and they're necessary. And I would say you start that conversation early. Right now might not be the best time for this year's Christmas, but start thinking about that and and maybe start hinting at that for next year's Christmas. You wouldn't even better time to wait till Christmas morning. Oh yeah, yeah, show it Christmas morning and be like, hey, you know we're not

gonna do gifts anymore. Sorry, guys, I didn't buy anything for any of you. Yeah, no, I completely agree. This is something you want to talk about well in advance, and specifically too, with your spouse or a significant other, Like if you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend, you want to be on the same page about this. This isn't something that you surprise the other person with literally the morning of Christmas where you're like, oh, yeah, you know what,

I'm not really into gift giving anymore. This is something that I'm trying to scale back on. Like now, that's a terrible time to make decision. And you don't want it to be grinch like either, Right, And so we'll get into some of those tactical ways that you can avoid being the grinch of your holiday gathering, but you can also be thoughtful right after the break. All right, go back to the break and again we're gonna talk about now some helpful and specific tips to avoid the

holiday shopping hangover. And So if you don't have the cash on hand, because you're just listening to this now and you haven't budgeted, you, basically you have two options. Right. You can either cut more and you could truly spend less. And I think that would be more of the route that we would say, yeah, that's that's kind of the route you want to go, and that could be cutting

kind of peripheral people off of your shopping list. So maybe your second cousin doesn't get a gift this year when they normally did, and you say, sorry, sorry, Ralph, you're not a legit relation to me, so I'm not buying gifts for you this year. Or the other option is to lessen the actual money amount that you spend

on each person. That's right, Yeah, I love that. So, yeah, you can either cut more or a secondary option is that you can make some more money, right, in order to pay for Christmas shopping, and we would say to be very careful when it comes to this option, because essentially by saying that, what you're saying is that your time is worth less than a gift that you're going to give somebody that they may not even enjoy. Your time is your life, and like you're treating your life

for money. It's just a slippery slip to say that, Okay, I'm just gonna work a little bit more so that I can buy one more thing for this person. And I know that, especially if you have kids out there, you want to see that sort of the ripping open the gifts. Like there's just this whole sort of culture surrounding like gift giving and gift opening that involves ripping paper, throwing it in the air, like throwing it behind the couch.

That's part of like people's traditions. Yeah, we don't want to completely rain on the parade of those fun traditions because I will be honest, I have some great memories of being a kid and getting that perfect gift that wanted and mom and dad got me right playing there in the sea of like wrapping paper, let's like completely covering the floor. Yes, but I also know that especially with young kids at least, that they have oftentimes been more enthralled by that wrapping paper on the ground than

the actual gift that was in the box. And so that's definitely a potential to so I think sometimes we build it up more in our mind and the reality of how it plays out at our Christmas gatherings or holiday gatherings, it's just not quite what we wanted it

to be in our minds. And so we're not trying to provide these tactics and these solutions as a way to make Christmas dole and boring and avoid all the joy and the fun of president opening, because that that's super fun, right, That's good stuff, and we don't want to take that away. But what we're trying to say is there are ways that you can make it meaningful while avoiding that nasty holiday shopping hangover that you're gonna have in January if you're not thoughtful about how you're

actually spending your money. So with that, something to keep in mind is that thoughtfulness is better than a high price tag. Our loved ones they want to know that we care about them, not that we spent a ton of money. So consider handmade gifts or an experience, or maybe even just like a written letter. You know it's a spouse or again, so like a loved one, just kind of sharing your thoughts and you know how much

you appreciate and how much you love them. Yeah, Matt, I think this comes off sometimes, this sort of suggestion as like trite, and well, there's no way I'm gonna do that, because we're like hokey, right, what they really want is like the new iPhone or something like that, and and and a written letter that's meaningless comparatively, But I'll be honest, the things that have meant the most to me that do mean the most to me when it comes to gift giving, oftentimes is like a friend

who knows how much we need my wife and I need like a night out right and they offer a free babysitting. Or one of our friends who you know what, she's a really good baker and so she spends a lot of time during the holidays to bake people like an awesome pie or some awesome cookies I know you're

talking about. Yeah, yeah you do, and i'd so much before. Yeah, I would so much rather have that than like a Best Buy gift card or something, right, because that comes from her heart and it's something that means a lot to her, and so it means a lot to me to eat that apple pie after she brings it. So yeah, I think it can seem like a trite thing, but

really it's the most meaningful. And when you think about some of those great gifts you've gotten in your life throughout the years from people that you care about, oftentimes they are these kinds of gifts and it doesn't have to be crappy macaroni art or something like that, right, But I love macaroni art, dude, I know you do, so that's why I'm making you some for Christmas. I

just love pasta specifically. I love the macaroni less the art, So don't waste it on a piece of construction paper with glue, right, But I just wanted to mention that because I know that it can come off that way. But truly, I think it's a meaningful way to give

someone a gift. Yeah, I mean I can I totally agree with you, right, especially in a time when we just have so much junk and there's just some weird stuff that you're getting sometimes from folks that don't know you that well, and that can be totally avoided by giving of your yourself, just like you said, and along those lines, the gift certificate, like it sounds kind of hokey, but I think it's awesome, man, if you're able to utilize your skills or your talents that you have, or

even a gift certificate for quality time like you talked about earlier, where there's either like a hike or a museum involved, like something that's you know, low cost. This involves more giving of yourself, like your time and your energy, and less of your money. And we're all about saving money. Yeah. So oftentimes, like for my dad for his birthday, I will make a certificate for him to take him out to dinner or to take him to some sort of

like sporting match in town. The sports, the sports generally speaking, he enjoys the sports. He does well, it's not about the sports, it's about the It's about the time, right exactly. Yeah, So for me it's about I'm happy to get a nice meal with my dad or to go see you know, a baseball game or soccer game or something like that. That's great, but really it is it is at intentionality level that I'm oftentimes missing, and it allows me that ability to be intentional because what I really want to

do is hang out with my dad. Spent some time I'm with him, whether that's you know, over a barbecue sandwich or watching our soccer team just like unload on another team, right Like, either way, I'm just happy to be with my pops. And that gift certificate is just kind of this way for me to say, in writing Boom, we're setting it in stone, right, because I failed to do that so much of the time, and I wish I did it. I was better at it on the leg, but I'm not, and so this is my chance to say, Dad,

we're doing this you and me. So I think those giftstificates are helpful. It feels good to get it and to say they thought about this particular thing I like to do with them, like this thing we like to do together, and it's written down and then now we've got to follow through and make it happen. But I feel like those giftstific gates like can be meaningful. I mean, they're they're more than met. You have to back off. You're gonna like start making our listeners start to like

get tarr eyed you know what I'm saying. Yeah, dude, I might actually have to steal that idea. So I hope my dad's not listening, but he actually probably is. And then another sort of creative idea too, man, is uh, if you want to give less, but you still you know, want to spend money, or you've got money to spend because you've budgeted for it, you can consider some philanthropic gifts. Our family used to do this thing where we would gift each other loans through Kiva dot Org. Have you

ever done the loan program with them? No, I haven't. Basically, you go on there and you can buy a gift certificate and they have all these different individuals and oftentimes Third world countries, and they're trying to start a business, and so they're trying to race, say like two thousand dollars to buy a motorcycle in order to give taxi rides and Honduras because that's gonna be their business. That's

awesome and that cool. Yeah, and you can donate like bucks or fifty bucks and it goes towards that, and they're part of the program, and you know that's what it's going to go towards, but it's a loan, and so they also work to pay that back and almost all the loans get repaid, and so once it does get repaid, you can leave that money within the Kiva program and then reloan it out to somebody else who's looking to get money to start a small business in

their town, you know, somewhere far off. Isn't that cool? I love that? Yeah, super cool. It's like the entrepreneurial spirit mixed with philanthropy and and yeah, it's awesome. I love it. I love that. And I also I feel like there's kind of this move for families that realize that, you know what, we have a lot of stuff and who are able to talk about it. Well, uh, there there are a lot of families that say, you know what, let's forego gifts and let's actually do an active service

on Christmas. Let's serve at a soup kitchen or find a way to care for people in our community that have less than we do on Christmas Day. And that's really cool too. Certainly, no guilt trip, right, no family has to do this has to take their Christmas off from being together and just kind of hanging out to

go like serve other people. But if your family is so inclined and does something like that or you think might be interested in doing that, I love doing something like a like a philanthropic gift or considering gifting your time as a family and serving together can kind of create this bond and can kind of bring a whole

new meaning to your holiday season, right. And so much of the holidays is spending quality time together, right, Like, I think that's honestly what most families oftentimes are are missing, whether it be because of business or technology or jobs or distance, right, Like, you just don't have that quality

time together. And yeah, I love that dude, when you're able to come together with your family and and and sort of unite around a cause, whether whatever it is that you decide on, Like that's it's kind of like just getting on the same team is what matters, right, Yeah. And if you don't have as many gifts that you have to buy because your family is going to get together and serve other people, then maybe you can work a little bit less during the holiday season and just

kind of enjoy that time a little bit more. Y man. And on the flip side though, too, it's common you know around the holidays for shoppers to spend money on themselves. Initially, when I read that, read that sort of little stat I was like, no, that's not something that I do. But then I thought, no, that is something I do.

Specific when it comes to beer. Obviously you and I love craft beer, but around the holidays, I tend to grab a couple of bottles of like something really primo, like something really nice that I don't just enjoy myself like I tend to share it. But still it's sort of like a little self splurge, a little a little treat yourself. I'm gonna say little treat yourself exactly. Then Initially I was like, no, that's not me, but I

was like, wait a minute, that is me. Well yeah, and I know I think too, especially during you know, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, when a deal on something you have been interested in for a while or kind of what pops up, you just kind of throw caution to the wind and say why not now the time to pounce. And that sort of spending can ruin your holiday budget, yes, right, and can also take some of the joy out of the meeting of the season if you're too focused on getting stuff for yourself. Yeah, if

you're too focused. However, you know, if that's something that you've budgeted for, because maybe every every holiday you do know that you're gonna spend thirty bucks on a single bottle of beer. Well, if you've budgeted for, then that's fine, you know, like, don't let it wreck your budget. But at the same time, yeah, I love what you said. You like, don't let that become too much of the

focus of your holiday gift giving. So let's talk about some specific ways to that we can make the holidays meaningful for our kids, especially for families, for moms and dads that are listening that have children, how can you kind of make it special for them without spending a ton of money, Because that's something that I think all parents have to deal with, especially parents who have older kids who expect a little more maybe like a PlayStation

five or whatever they're on now I don't even know, um, but I think there are ways to to make the holidays meaningful for for everyone involved in the family, for the kids, the parents, everyone, and not spend a whole ton of money at the same time. And so just a couple of things I wrote down, We're you know, making ornaments together. So we've done that with our five and three year old and it's been just a lot of fun, reading holiday books together, baking together, making holiday art,

creating inexpensive traditions, right like parents. As parents, you're setting the tone for what the holidays look like. And if it's all about expensive gift giving, well then the kids are gonna respond in kind and they're gonna make that the focal point of the holiday season. But if you are able to create these other traditions that are that don't revolve around spending money, that revolve around spending time together, maybe creating something thinking outside the box just a little bit.

I mean, I think that's actually really helpful ways to encourage in atmosphere in your holiday season that is just a little more rich than then, let's say one based around you know, buying the latest and greatest gadgets. I mean, I love what you said about setting the tone. Right. Um, keep in mind that you're not only setting this home for your house around the holidays, but I think that

bleeds over into the rest of the year. If around the holidays it becomes this magical time of gift giving and buying and purchasing and surprising, and there's just money and dollar bills like flying left and right. Well, that's sort of going to be expected at other special times during the year, too, like maybe at birthdays or this special occasion or that special occasion. And it's worth considering, like, is that the kind of life that we want to

live around the holidays? Do we just want to be preoccupied and distracted with gadgets and activities and things to do, or or is it about spending quality time together? Yeah, Matt, I'll be honest that even for me, when I get a gift, and even if it's the thing that I have been wanting that I had on my list, there's

always this tinge of it didn't quite meet my expectations. Um, And I feel that I see the same thing in my five year old daughter that sometimes receiving a gift can be hard because, especially in our hypercharged atmosphere where we feel like we need so much or we want so much, and the only cure to that is not getting the exact thing you want, but it's wanting less, right, I feel like that's how you kind of combat it.

And so we saw this in this summer when my daughter turned five at her birthday that it wasn't helpful to get her more things. Actually it actually was worse for her the more gifts that we got her. And I don't even feel like we we got her that much stuff. She like, like all five iPads that she got, such a weird tradition to have an iPad for every year,

you know, hey man America bro. So yeah, I would say, like we're dialing back even from where we were, which I thought was pretty reserve, And we're doing a three gift maximum um for for each girl, and I just think even that it might be a lot. So I'm not exactly sure how it's going to work out. I hope it is just a little more meaningful and a little less present centric on the day of, and that we're able to kind of just step back and and have fun together. They're gonna be smaller gifts, a little

more tangible. I just don't want to make the holiday season about how many gifts do I get? When's the big gift coming out? Like those sorts of questions that that that you ask as a kid. Um, the more we can kind of temper to those expectations, you know, the more we can dial back on kind of that consumer approach and insert a little more of that kind of inexpensive tradition and sending that phone for our family. I just I love that approach, and that's kind of

what we're trying to adopt as a family. I mean, like that mine fullness and thoughtfulness, right, that goes into it because otherwise, yeah, you're just playing like you're just playing games, you're just keeping yourself busy with distractions, with gifts, with gadgets. Man. That's something that I love that Kate has been able to do with our family, is that specifically, Like around Thanksgiving she starts ramping up like this Thankfulness project.

Recently they've called it their Thanksgiving Masterpiece, I think, but they create like a piece of art, and it's looked differently in the past, but every day that's where they sort of sit down and talk about something that they're thankful for. And again it brings time and attention and our focus as a family to something that isn't a gift, to something that isn't going to be unwrapped that costs money,

whereas instead it's about being intentional and being thoughtful. In my hurried, busy life, sometimes I think, oh, why are we doing this. Come on, we just gotta get the girls off to school. That that's sort of thing. She just has a great mind about that, Like Kate, she thinks like a teacher, you know, And a lot of times I think that's sort of what it takes. You and I both have girls in kindergarten and starting to see them think about things and seeing their teachers engage

their minds. And as parents, that's what we have to do, right, Like, we have to get our kids to engage their minds and not to just uh keep them busy or to distract them. We're kind of creating the culture in our homes and especially around the holiday or gift giving time of the year. What it comes down to is more of that minimalist approach, right, that kind of understanding that

the best present is actually just present. And I feel like Matt, you know, I don't know, I've seen that more with my girls, the little things they asked me to just spend some time with them. I get home from work and it's like, Daddy, can you just come play with me? That means more to them now than those gifts that I could potentially buy them. Right, I can maybe work a little harder, save a little more money, to spend more on physical gifts for them this holiday season.

But I realized that that is not what they want ultimately deep down, and we can cultivate a tone and an attitude in our family where that's the case, where they want more stuff. But I think our families are

going to be better off. My family if it is going to be better off if I cultivate that atmosphere of presence is the best present and us being together, enjoying this holiday season together, putting down work, you know, putting down the technology, and just kind of spending some time enjoying each other as opposed to trying to put more gifts under the tree and spend a little more and then waking up in January to a credit card

bill that I don't know how it got there. Right, that's what we want to avoid for everyone, a little more presence and a little bit less holiday shopping hangover. Dude, I couldn't agree more right, because that is what we are being fed by advertising and consumerism and just the spending culture that we're surrounded is that you do have to spend, and you can't have a good Christmas, you can't have a wonderful, warm, fuzzy holiday feeling without spending

a ton of money. But you know, it's up to you as an individual if that's what you want to do. So some people might be a huge part of their holiday family experience, but it doesn't have to be. And to those who might be struggling financially, there are lots of other ways that you can cultivate that family culture

and have an awesome time without going into debt. Yeah, I think for some families it's going to mean going from spending a hundred dollars on every single person in your family to spending fifty on half as many people, or for some families it's not gonna mean any change at all in their spending, but just maybe a little more mindfulness in what you're buying and how you're thinking through. You know, what you buy for the people that you

care about. But more than anything, hopefully for everyone out there listening, it's not going into debt. It's not racking up credit card debt that you can't afford to pay off for gifts for people that you love, thinking that that's the meaning of the season, because that's not it. And I don't think anybody that you love would encourage you to go into debt to buy something for them that you can't afford to pay off. I mean, that's just a crummy situation all around. Yeah, man, I love that, dude.

That's the you know what else is so good? This beer that we're finishing off. Yeah, Buddy Sierra Nevada and Narwhale Imperial Stout. This is delicious, dude. It's got the Narwhale on there. Uh, speaking of Christmas, Like on Buddy the Elf, you know when he's at when he's at the North Pole and he's telling Mr Norwal exactly except for it. This is like the grown up version of Hilm. He looks all hardcore on the label. He's gonna spear somebody or something. It looks way more sharp on this picture.

And yeah, not nearly as friendly looking. But this is a fantastic solid Imperial Stout by Sierra Nevada. And you and I we both kind of feel like stouts are great beers to drink during the holidays, because especially during the holidays, like you want to have that what dark, thicker, robust beer. Yeah, it's kind of like a winter warmer. And so this one in particular has coffee and you know, dark chocolate notes in it. Man, I've always kind of

been a fan of Sierra Nevada and Narwhale. I enjoy a lot of their beers, but I would I don't gravitate towards most of them very often. But this is one I pick up like every year, and it's in six packs this year, which is kind of nice. I just really like kind of a bitter stout and this one has a nice bitter coffee, bitter dark chocolate notes and it works. It works really well. I like it

a lot. Speaking of inexpensive Christmas traditions, I wonder if that's why you like this every year, man, I bet, like you pick this up every single year, And I bet it's because you have sort of like this memory associated with this of affordability mixed with great flavor, mixed with coming together with family and friends for real, you know.

Oh completely. I'm obsessed with finding a great beer that is reasonably priced, and this one comes out every year, and I'm just always excited because it is a great beer that's really pretty inexpensive when it comes down to it. Yeah, man, And especially with this being an Imperial stout. So if you're not really into like craft beer or specialty beers.

If you know that you like coffee or you like things that are maybe a little bit less bitter, right Like, if you like your coffee with a little bit of sugar, maybe a little bit of cream, then stouts tend to be a good sort of beer for folks like that, Right, Like, you want to stay away from like the I. P. A. S that are a little more bitter, instead look towards the beers that are darker and have more of that

multi backbone, and this will totally do that for you. Yeah, and this one in particular is probably better for people that like dark chocolate over milk chocolate. Yeah. So if you're interested in finding a beer that has kind of some of those notes and you're not really sure what to drink this holiday season, well, I mean we would recommenden Narwhall Stout by Sierra, Nevada, and it should be on shelves wherever you buy beer. All right, Matt, let's get to our final thoughts on how we avoid that

holiday shopping hangover. All right. The first thing that you can do is make sure that you are planning ahead, and you want to make sure you're staying organized. That allows you to start saving now because you're saving ahead of time, and that keeps you within your budget. But it also allows you to be thoughtful. Keep a running list with the names of those that you want to give gifts to. And when you have those names listed out,

that allows you to start shopping now. You can start looking for those deals and you can start thinking of

creative gift ideas to those who you love. Yeah, it also allows you to open the lines of communication with people in your family if there are a lot of expectations in the holiday season when it comes to gift giving and gift receiving, and it's kind of tough to broach that subject sometimes, but planning ahead allows you to start having those conversations with the people that are closest to you and would be most affected by you deciding

to shake things up a little bit. So make sure to start that conversation when it comes to expectations around your family gift giving traditions sooner rather than later. Then. The number one specific tip that we want to give is to just not spend money that you don't have. If you are going to be tempted to spend more than you have. If you are using your credit card,

don't use your credit card. Joe and I we both love using our credit cards because of all the different perks and cash back and purchase protection benefits that we have, but it's not worth it if you're going to end up overspending. Also, thoughtfulness is so much better than a high end gift. Your loved ones, people that you care about the most. They want to know that you care back.

And so it might sound trite, but it's true. Something handmade or an experience, or even just an expression of love can be so much more meaningful than inexpensive gizmo or gadget. That's right, man, More giving of yourself, your time and energy, and less of your money. All right, everyone, thanks so much for listening. Our home on the web

is how to Money dot Com. We will have show notes up there for this episode, and if you like what you hear and have found this episode helpful, you can let us know by giving us a review on Apple Podcasts. While you're there, to be sure to subscribe. Hitting that subscribe button will allow you to keep up with all of our new episodes. All right, Joe, Until next time, Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out,