How To Disappoint Your Mom

Hint: it’s not about your mom. It’s about not disappointing yourself. What happens when we transition from making someone else proud to making ourselves proud? This interview podcast features conversations with culture catalysts and risk takers who gave up on fitting in. This is an honest and practical guide for living a life that is genuine, undaunted, and, most importantly, yours. Host: Elise Smith Insta: @the.elisesmith

Last refreshed: July 11th, 2025 at 4:49 PM ⓘ

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Episodes

How To Not Take A Single Relationship For Granted — With My Wife Carmen Riot Smith

So many of the stories in this season were about people who reached a precipice in their life and felt like it was over because their life, as they knew it, was over. Like Wen Peetes from episode 2 when she confronted her Mom and Dad about sexual abuse and beating in her childhood—that was a point of no return for her. Just like it was for Kyra in episode 3 when she had a panic attack moments before telling her husband she was getting a divorce. Part 2 of my conversation with my wife, Carmen Rio...

Aug 16, 2022•31 min•Ep. 8

How To Propose To A Boy, But Get The Girl — With My Wife Carmen Riot Smith

In part 1, we talk about a little known fact that my wife, Carmen, proposed to a boy before she proposed to me, we talk about the coming out process and how people told us that gay people are child molesters after we told them we were in love, how family vacations were canceled because it was "dangerous" for Carmen's nieces and nephews to see us together, and how internalizing all of these messages led to one of the hardest moments of my life: holding Carmen while she sobbed on the bathroom floo...

Aug 02, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 7

How To Heal A Relationship That Hit Rock Bottom — With Sisters Carmen Riot Smith and Kelsey Klopfenstein

This is part 2 of my conversation with my wife, Carmen, and two of her sisters. We talk about how to leave the community you're family has been part of for 150 years, we talk about what it's like to support someone during a panic attack, and, for me, the most moving part of the conversation comes about halfway through when we talk with one sister and Carmen about how you actually heal a relationship after years of hardly speaking. This episode is about how to heal when you lose your community an...

Jul 19, 2022•59 min•Ep. 6

How To Be A Proud Woman: Career And Body Shame In The Church— With Sisters Carmen Riot Smith and Kelsey Klopfenstein

Today I'm chatting with my wife, Carmen, and 2 of her sisters. You'll remember one from two episodes ago when we talked about how she had to leave the church her family had been part of for 150 years because of her divorce. Today in part 1 of this conversation we're chatting about the experiences of growing up in that church. For this conversation, it's helpful to know a little background on the church; it's very similar to a Mennonite church in that the women wear head coverings, skirts, and th...

Jul 05, 2022•47 min•Ep. 5

How To Stop Wasting Your Time On The Relationships And Jobs That Aren't Working

To master life you have to master quitting. Quitting is not a moral failure, it's a skill we have to practice. Every episode has one theme in common: quitting. In my first episode, Tricia Rose Burt quit her career and her marriage and moved to Ireland to be an artist. In my last episode, Kyra quit the church her family had been part of for 150 years and quit her emotionally abusive marriage. Quitting was the hardest and best thing that ever happened to them; to live the life they were called to ...

Jun 21, 2022•33 min•Ep. 4

How To Leave A Toxic Marriage And The Church Your Family Has Been Part Of For 150 Years

This is a conversation I never thought I would have. This is my sister-in-law. For 5 years we hardly spoke to each other, now we talk every week. The relationship was not just broken, but practically non-existent. Now she is one of our closest friends. So, of course we talk about what changed, but we start by talking about how she was a homeschooling mother of five before she realized she felt emotionally unsafe in her marriage. Not only did she divorce her husband but she also had to leave the ...

Jun 07, 2022•1 hr 52 min•Ep. 3

How To Heal Childhood Trauma And Set Boundaries With Abusive Family — With Author/Songwriter Wen Peetes

How To Heal Childhood Trauma And Set Boundaries With Abusive Family — With Author/Songwriter Wen Peetes Wen Peetes is an empowerment coach, author, songwriter, and creator of Rebel For A Spell. Her life purpose is to help childhood trauma survivors heal, experience inner peace, and become empowered. She wrote and produced the album "Woman Empowered" under her moniker Wendy St. Kitts Rebelforaspell.com @rebelforaspell Upcoming Book: Inner Child Healing ____________ Host: Elise Smith...

May 24, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 2

How To Quit Your Job, Divorce Your Husband, Cash Out Your Retirement Savings, And Move To Ireland In Two Weeks — With Moth Storyteller Tricia Rose Burt

How To Quit Your Job, Divorce Your Husband, Cash Out Your Retirement Savings, And Move To Ireland In Two Weeks — With Moth Storyteller Tricia Rose Burt Tricia Rose Burt is a multimedia artist, story consultant, and creative coach. Her stories are frequently broadcast on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast. She is part of The Moth’s corporate training arm, MothWorks, where she conducts storytelling workshops. Her one-woman show, How to Draw a Nekkid Man, was selected for the New York International Fr...

May 08, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 1

Trailer: How To Disappoint Your Mom

Looking back at some of the biggest decisions of my life, whether it was coming out as gay in a conservative midwestern town or dropping out of my ivy league master's program, I realized I was always obsessing over a single question: what will they think about me? Welcome to How To Disappoint Your Mom! I'm talking to risk takers on how to give up on fitting in. The upcoming episodes will feature a Moth storyteller who finally felt free after quitting her lucrative job, divorcing her husband, cas...

May 04, 2022•2 min

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