“The Big Three-O” Recap Season 1, Episode 11

How hard kids you. School's going good, School's going great.

Felicity is busier than anyone else. I know. She's in show choir and her her first set of performances are this weekend, so lovely, running around getting costumes together, proper shoes, like all of all of the things. So she's good. And she's got homecoming coming up, yes, and she wants to take a boy and I do not know how I feel about this. Actually, do you know how I feel about this? She's not happy with how I feel about this, and like, just go with your girlfriends, like

Those those those excited for homecoming? She has a little boyfriend. She does, Yeah, she does. She Uh, we like him. He's nice and she's very excited for you know, dress shopping. I was. She was just sending me pictures today, so that's we've got it. And you know, dress shopping as a parent is not easy.

It's the worst it is.

I've never felt so unsure of what I'm supposed to say.

Oh yeah, but.

I'm like, m, like I don't know whether to be like that like that doesn't look good or it's too or you know, I'm just like.

To be careful. And you're phrasing because you don't want to give him a complex, but you want him to be come. You want to be comfortable.

I just I would like the next two hours of my life to not be miserable with you know, uh, the eye rolling and attitude for something that I didn't mean to say.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's you'll be punished for life if you say the wrong things.

And I I just start feeling so old.

Yeah well I talk about old.

Yeah.

I'm like, all these dresses are so short. When did these dresses get so short?

But you're not wrong. They're so short, but they aren't. They are very short.

Everything is a mini dress, tall, it is, it's a.

It's a combination, you know what I mean. I'm like, that's not we can't do that.

Yeah no, no, that's that's that's no, it's it's not good. I I if anybody has a recommendation for a store that sells dresses in a normal, somewhat modest length, I mean, it doesn't have to be too modest, but just not like we don't want your shirt cheeks.

Right right, I mean it's is.

That too much to ask? And a full shirt, a whole shirt, yes, there's always like it's either a crop or there's a cutout in the front. A shirt.

I just want just a you know, a plain T shirt. Yeah, well that's what I want. Kids don't They're like that doesn't that looks lame then?

But whatever.

Speaking of feeling old, this week's episode of Full House made me feel really old ancient.

Same. Yes, this is this is this is mind blowing when I realized what this episode is actually about. This week's episode, well, it's a big birthday, but for us now it seems like not as big of a birthday. No, as it's only thirty. It's thirty. Yeah, thirty, Yeah, thirty is not old. No, thirty So YEARNNY.

Is eleven plus years ago, which is more time between my age now and their age then than the age of Candice was on the show. Wait think that made any sense? Noa in my brain that made sense.

I don't do to the show.

And it was eleven and a half years from thirty to forty one. Oh you know what I mean?

Oh, because you're forty one.

It's right. It's like when you measure something and you're like, well, how many hippopotamuses is that? Like, it's just I don't know. My brain converts it into weird things.

So that was some advanced math there. I did not I was class.

That was common quar You're welcome.

Yeah. When I realized that Danny Tanner is thirty years old, that means how then he he was twenty or nine?

Yeah, he would have been twenty. Well, that's yeah, how old would he would have been? Nineteen? That? Actually I thought about that too, because in this episode he's starting thirty. I'm like, okay, well but DJ's ten. DJ's already to change. Yeah, so they must have been really young. I mean they were really nineteen eighteen.

Well, but that, you know, that was kind of the thing.

High school were they? High school? Swethearts coming?

Like my parents got married at well your parents, I'm super young. They were twenty My mom was eighteen, no, twenty two, a senior in high school. Well, that's when they got engaged. Was I engage? Okay?

Got it?

Prom? She was prom queen and my dad proposed to her all in that same night.

Oh my god, Sherry Barber.

So they got engaged when she was eighteen, but her parents or somebody's like, no, you have to wait until you're in college before you get married. Okay, and my dad was, you know, try and graduate from college and go into law school. So anyways, I'm derailing this whole podcast right now.

So that's in the Barber history.

But this is the Barber lore.

Wait.

Yeah, no, So my my parents were twenty and twenty two okay when they got yeah married, that was very but.

Yeah, Danny and Pam would have probably been eighteen nineteen when they had DJ.

Wow. Wow.

So like they you know, and and then I started kind of building the backstory from there. I was like, okay, so they were like high school sweethearts and they were young, and they had DJ, and they you know, they were married, and when Danny's trying to figure out what he wants to do and he goes to you know, journalism school and and then like that, and I was like, oh, and then he became a sports cast and that they and then and then this untimely tragedy.

But but uh.

Yeah, it's sort of you know, filling in again, filling in those those little bits and pieces and backstory with the with the math that I just never had before.

Yeah. Then I just always assumed that all three guys were a lot older, especially when we were on the show. I was like, oh, they're ancient. You know, they seem right together like they are when we were five and ten. Yeah, we're like, oh my god.

There's so anyone over fifteen.

Was like, oh yeah right, so yeah, yeah, it's it's my mind was blown, blowing, mind blowing. But it's such a good episode. Should we get into it.

Let's get into it.

Welcome back, fan Ritos to how rude Tana Rito's I'm Andrea Barber.

And I am Jodie Sweeten. I like your little rhyme there.

That's hey, I just came up with that on the spot. Oh it's cute, thank you. And today we are discussing season one, episode eleven, titled The Big Three to Oh. It originally aired on December tenth, nineteen eighty seven, and it goes a little something like this. Danny arrives at his surprise thirtieth birthday party, only to discover that Jesse has accidentally driven his prized car into the bay.

No, we have a lot of terrible car karma in this house.

It's yeah, it's really bad. You're right, you're right, Like now that I'm thinking about all the cars in the backyard. Bad luck with cars in the backyard. Wow, well, as it should be.

But we'll get there.

We'll get there, We'll get there. Yeah. This episode was directed by Howard Storm. It was written by Jeff Franklin. Bob Purlow.

Bob Purlow who was also our audience warm up, but he was a writer too, but he did our warm up. He was a really comedian, touring comedian. Yeah, Bob Parla was lovely. He would do a whole bunch of fun entertainment. Audience warm ups are the people that like put on a show to kind of get the audience hyped up for live audience tapings at sitcoms and you know, when we're cut between scenes or changing sets or clothes or whatever.

Yeah, it's such a hard job to keep that energy level for five or six hours and keep people engaged. That's it's a very damnicul job.

So Carlo I didn't realize he had also rid the episode.

I was so surprised to see this writing credit. I was, yeah, I was thrilled. It was also co written by Jene Bronstein as well. There were two guest stars this week, Michael McManus as Paul, also known for Hot Shots, Poltergeist and The Police Academy.

Polter Got is such a great movie.

Oh it's so good, so good, Oh, very good. And Dorothy Park returning as Carolyn from the Sea Cruse episode. I'm so decighted that she's back.

She came back a couple of times. They were I think, sort of toying about do we make Danny have a more serious girlfriend or not. It was, you know the beginning of a show when they're trying to kind of test out, like, what are audiences liking, what are they not liking? What's kind of the vibe? So I think she was the one that they were testing and seeing, if you know, Danny having a more serious girlfriend was something the audience was into.

And I really liked her too. I think I think I thought she.

Was a really sweet partner for Danny. I mean not like partner, you know, like life's partner, but like I liked their dynamic together.

It was cute, they had good chemistry. I think if it hadn't been so early in season one, like he wasn't so I mean this is still within what a year of PAM six. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I think it was too soon for h to date, you know, but I think if this had been many seasons later, that Carolyn might have been the one.

Well, if you go back to my mom's favorite episode, Seacruise, he does talk about that it's a little too early.

So yeah, Janis's favorite episode, the Sea Crews episode is just legendary. Now, so Secrews episode.

Danny's twenty nine. You can't just think about that he's twenty nine.

Yes, it's mind blowing. So we opened the show in the kitchen Joey is telling the girls to make sure that they do not blow the surprise for their dad's birthday party tonight. DJ says he's talking to you, Steph, because Steph was the one that blew it last year. I mean, yeah, Stephanie four and you, yes, you defend yourself by saying I was only four.

You never tell children if you want to keep something secret, you never tell children.

No, especially four year olds. And Jody, you're wearing the cutest hot pink sweater here and it's got penguins reading books on it. It's so cute. Did you notice, Oh it's so cute.

Yeah, yeah, penguins reading books.

I was.

I am a big book nerd. I still to this day love to read and am kind of a book nerd. So yeah, reading books made me very happy.

I love that about you. So Joey says, it's an important birthday. Danny is going to be the Big Three.

Oh, I mean, my face, my poem hit my face. I couldn't even put words together.

I was just like, I still can't believe this. So Stephanie asked Joey how old is the Big Three? To zero compared to five. Joey demonstrates by pouring a little bit of cereal which is called oat seas, which, by the way I wrote down I said that box is later repurposed and becomes oat boats. Oh, yes, I wrote the same thing down. I'm like, yeah, pree oat boat. Yeah, we just took the sies off, like scratched that off, the off that prop box and probably put like boats. Hey, repurposing.

This looks like a baby cheerleading uniform.

It looks like a cheerleading uniform.

It's so it was really cute. But I was like, she dressed, I mean, maybe that was the look. It's cute.

It was cute, and she little balloons tied to that, three balloons tied to her. I guess she's Yeah, she's like a party favor. I don't think she's atorible. Jesse says, make way for the New Year Birthday blimp, and he tells everyone that she had more balloons, but he had to take him off because she was getting picked up by radar.

And I wonder how many balloons you'd have to attach to a child that size to make them actually float through a living room. Oh, just a question, that's anyway.

That's more like math or physics, or that's.

That's physics for sure.

Yeah, I'm not my department. Danny comes downstairs and everyone wishes him a happy birthday. He says, okay, it's been said. We can just move on and forget about the fact that I am I am, And he struggles to say the word thirty.

So not old is what you are? You are not old, stirty.

Your life is just getting started. Dirty, dirty, Come on people. DJ gives Danny a present from the girls. It's a coupon book. One is for changing Michelle's diaper, which Jesse tries to take, and the second coupon is for a car wash for his car bullet. Danny reminisces about how he got the car bullet on his twentieth birthday, and every time he gets behind the wheel and puts the top down, blasting his self improvement tapes, he feels like a kid again. So he got the car right after.

DJ was born? Oh yeah, right, or well, no, DJ would have been before. And then he got the cars.

Shortly shortly after. Yeah, it's such a safe car for a newborn.

And I was gonna say yeah with no seatbelts, no seatbelts and airbags. Yeah no, So Jesse says, you were born to raise Heck the doorbell rings and DJ says, oh, that must be another birthday surprise, and the girls run out of the kitchen.

Danny says to Joey, look at her run. Did I ever run like that? And Joey says, yes, you always ran like a girl. Wow. Now now yeah, come on.

Boys now now. By the way, our amazing fact checker said that thirty five hundred to four thousand balloons to flow a baby. So wait, that's a lot of balloons.

That's a fact.

He actually don't know if you ever attached thirty five hundred balloons to a baby to see, but apparently I guess given the you know, average weight of a baby and the average helium in a balloon, and I don't know, there's probably a bunch of math involved.

But wow, okay, I love that this is a fact on the internet.

Well, everything on the Internet is a fact which may or may not be actually problematic.

Right, let's do this at a live show. Let's attach four thousand balloons to a small child and see if they float.

Oh, we like we can be like the lawn chair guy. Yeah, you were the guy that tried to actually did that.

Yes, yes, oh this is great. It ended with him. But anyway, okay, that's all right. I bet you know what, though, I bet he was probably over thirty. He's not old. In the next scene, we are in the living room, we are reminded that Jesse is only twenty four years old. In the show show come On, you guys, Come on, Babes, Babes, Babes, Jesse puts Michelle down, and in a game show host voice tells the girls to tell the lucky contestant what's behind door number one? Vanna Carol Merrill?

Was Carol Merrill the other letter turner? Or was she like like on Price's Ride or something?

Oh, she was on I think she was on a different show, not real a fortune.

But let's make a deal.

Let's make a deal. That's it. Okay, that's it, got it, very good. So the girls simultaneously open both of the front doors, which bumped. Have we ever opened both of the front doors at the same time?

Yes, I think we did in the pilot episode. I think I could be wrong.

It's not often.

So I was stunned.

I was like, whoa, both the doors open? I didn't even know. So they opened both of the front doors, and they reveal a man in a black suit, sunglasses and a cap. Danny says, I want a man.

And you know, happy thirtieth, Happy thirtieth.

Nothing says happy thirtieth birthday like like a non speaking man in a suit.

Uh. Not only that, a non speaking man who looks exactly like the villain in Roger Rabbits.

Okay he does with.

The glasses and the hat, doctor Doom or whatever it is. When he's got the dip and he's gonna that's exactly what he looks like. It's the villain from Roger Rabbit come to take Danny to work and put him in the dip.

Yeah, it's a very ubiquitous actor carried a full house and right, yeah, yeah, so Jesse says, oh you won not just a man, not just any man. Jimmy tell him what he's won. Jesse starts snapping his fingers as Joey puts on his game show voice and says, Danny Tanner, you will be riding in style as you won your very own chauffeur limousine for a day. Danny thanks them for going all out, and Jesse explains, oh, it's no trouble. He's gonna fumigate the chaw Fir's house for free. So

The belly dancer is not really there for their entertainment and has nothing to do with Danny. It's just just a random, like dude thing. I'm like, we're gonna have a belly dancer.

What. It's so subtle though, Like this is the only time they refer to this, and it's just like wells.

Only if you really think about the where you're like six six thirty guests, Yeah.

Yeah, sure, doing the time math in your head, you're like, wait a minute, Danny doesn't ever get to see the belly dancer.

And also I have to I have to ask you, having driven around in San Francisco in our Hundai Tucsan, how do you think it would be to drive through San Francisco in a stretch limo down Lombard Street.

Damn down, There's no way it would fit down that crooked street.

It definitely wouldn't.

It would get stuck.

It would way get stuck.

I am here for that. I want to see it, let's do it.

Then you'd need how many balloons to lift it up off of Lombard Street.

And we have our first live show in San Francisco. Balloons on a limo stuck on my Yeah, it's.

Us in David Blaine and he's proceeding to lift a car of stretch limo off of Lombard Street with balloons.

That's what we're fair, very feasible, very feasible. Rely yep, completely So. In the next scene, we're in the kitchen and Joey asks Jesse about the presence. Jesse says he's gonna go take Bullet to get fitted for new seat covers, and Danny is gonna love it. They stroll into the backyard and see Bullet a stunning old classic red car and I think this is the first time we see the backyard, right, the full backyard, shape shifting backyard.

Is it's the first time we see a car in the backyard, and I feel like this is this is a you know, this is the time to talk about the ever changing, shape shifting backyard of the Tanners in San Francisco. Which, again, if you've ever been to San Francisco and seen the houses and the property. They're small, there's not they're narrow, they're like long back but there's not you don't have a lot of yard space room for you know, property is at a it's at a minimum.

Where's the gate?

Is there an alley? Doesn't look like it when they when you see the house from.

Overhead, there's no space for a driveway that leads to that leads into the right. No, and we've actually been in that backyard when Jeffranklin owned the full house house.

That's true.

The space there's barely enough space for the cat.

It was a patio, but that that was the most It would go from twenty feet deep and then some weeks you'd have another set on the other side, so it would just be like some bushes in front of the window and then like a gate. So you know what I mean, Like a fence, so it would look right there, like if anybody looks at some point they're looking right out the window and seeing that there's a fence right there, or at some point they're seeing there's just an expansive backyard.

You know, it's like it was crazy, it's it's insane anyway, And I'm developing a theory right like right now at this very second, as oooh, I think I'm putting it all together. So Kimmy Gibbler lived on that side of the house, as we know, because she picked your head over the fence during the ostrich As episode. You know, so she lived on that side.

That's true. She did live on that side right, which would have technically made her behind.

Whatever.

We've actually had this discussion to the way you go over the fence. It's in the backyard.

None of it makes right, none of it makes sense.

But don't pull the thread. The sweater falls apart.

But because it's Kimmy Gibler next door, I feel like the Tanners were just like, oh, it's the Gibblers. They don't mind if we take the fence and move it twenty feet the feet or drive.

Our car through their backyard.

Gigglers don't care. I mean, the Gibbler parents were never home and Kimmy's just oblivious.

So yeah, no, it's it's all good.

It all makes sense, all makes sense.

Okay, Okay, that's how bullet got into the backyard.

Okay, through the Gibbler's house. Yes. Next we fade into the living room. It's later that night and it is party time. DJ and Steph enter the room carrying food trays and dressed somewhat amish. I don't know how to describe this. It was.

I had like a like a I don't mc hammer pants onesie sort of thing on that was in like a Laura Ashley floral print.

Definitely Laura Laura Ashley.

And DJ was wearing an all denim look her signature all day, her signature Canadian tuxedo.

With the bolo tie.

It's yeah, it's complete with a bolo tie. Yeah, it's no outfit was complete in the eighties without a bolo tie. That made that went from just play to fancy.

It elevated that outfit day tonight. Yeah, so DJ, they're carrying food trays and DJ tells her, Okay, now do it the way exactly the way I told you. Stephanie says, I'm old enough to carry a tray of appsizers, alatizers, cheese sticks. So cute you your lisp. It's just so cute how you're trying to pronounce that word. So Stephanie turns and asks a guest, excuse me, do you care about cheese?

And yes, deeply?

The answer is always the.

Relationship with cheese. Yeah.

DJ corrects her and says, Steph, it's do you care for cheese? And Stephanie says, well, she took one, didn't she. You know, Steh, Stephanie just got good points here. She's always got good points.

It's not semantics. And most people would say, do you care about cheese?

I do? I do deeply.

I'd care.

Yeah, all of the cheese, all the cheese. Uh. So we flipped to the backyard where Jesse is in the backyard with bullets, which looks like he has been in the worst car accident ever. Like this car, Well.

The car looks like it's been in an accident.

No, no, I am.

The car car heinous looks as though it has been trapped in the bottom of San Francisco Bay for several years.

It's like Titanic and Bullet had a baby. This is what Bullet would look like. It's got like seaweed gone.

Yeahs, it's right. Those barnacles attached fast, and and the paint is has been eaten off. The San Francisco Bay is very acidic and it just fair eats the paint right off.

Yeah, immediately, immediately. Yeah, poor Bullet like this iconic car.

Car really.

And Jesse knows it. He knows it. He says, oh, man, I am dead, and he starts to walk into the house.

Can you imagine if I showed up to your house with your with your car squashed and some seaweed hanging off of.

It like ear rings, we would have a serious We would not have a serious discussion because I would stop speaking to you for at least an hour.

It's true, yes, And then they'd be like, but I got your seat covers, and then you'd be like, oh I love that amphibium and then okay, exactly.

So Jesse walks into the kitchen and Joey notices that something's not right, and he says, Jesse, what's wrong? I have never seen your face the shade of green.

Old please though yes, yes, oh, never mind, I'll save that for our everywhere you look a moment.

Oh, okay, okay, great, I'll keep going. Okay, So Joey's concerned and Jesse's looking very green, and just then, just then DJ and Stephanie walk into the room and DJ says, uncle, Jesse, is something wrong. I'm getting vibes? And Jesse says, yes, yes, something is wrong. And DJ says, this is great. I'm developing a woman's intuition. You go, j true, that's true. So Jesse says, well, your father's car has been in a little accident. Follow me. He ushers them to the

Yeah, the cutest little girls in the world. Look.

Look, yes, and you had to put some quotations around there, air quotes. And then DJ and Stephanie demonstrate this adorable, adorable look and Jess, he looks like.

She's up to something. I gotta say that little face. I was like, that's a I was like, steph' stevious.

It's a little devious. But more concerning, why why does nobody ask if Jesse's okay? Like, no one concerned, just like.

Oh wow, you screwed up, not like, oh my god, the car is a pancake and covered in seaweed and barnacles. Yeah, you're seemingly fine. What happened? Nobody?

Everyone's just nobody cares.

Dad's gonna be real bummed about that. You were like, where's the story?

What? Like did he have to go to the hospital. Was he hurt? Did he break a leg? No? No, right, did nobody cares?

Someone? Did you run over a person? Did you go sailing off of a boat? Of what happened? He was just like, ah, man, no seat covers.

It's all about the seat covers. Yeah. Yeah, So Jesse says he's gonna own up to it, and right then Carolyn from the Sea Creuse episode enters the kitchen and tells them, hey, Danny's on his way up the steps. So Carolyn and the girls exit and Joey tells Jesse to hide the seat covers and make sure that Danny has the best night of his life before we tell him about the car. So now we are in the living room. The lights are off and all the party guests are quiet. Danny opens the door, flips on the

See. I would immediately be like what did you do?

That would be the first clue, the first two like what did you do wrong? You never hug me? Yeah. Dj comes over at this moment with a polaroid camera and takes their picture and says to Stephanie, let's call this the before picture. Later that evening, Danny starts opening his gifts, and he opens amount of a tiny fish given to him by Carolyn because he didn't catch anything when he was on her boat. That's kind of because she's throwing shade at him or she a nice g.

Well let's see, you know, I'm sure they you know, he's they've talked since then. It's a joke between them now the bait.

So yeah, yeah, okay, it's a nice gesture.

That shit, it's better than one of those singing fish that's mounted on the hall, the.

Big the big mouth bass or whatever. Yeah, I hate those things, hate those So right then steph walks out from the kitchen and says, I found another present and we see that it's the box with the seat covers inside.

He's as try it as I am. By the way, it's.

I'm impressed you were able to carry that. That box was huge. Jesse's like no, no, no, no, no, no no. And then Stephanie, who is trying to get the hint. She tries to leave, but Danny grabs the gift from her and opens it. He reads the gift tag to Danny and bullet from Jesse and Joey. He opens the sheepskin seat covers and says he's gonna go try them on Bullet right now. Oh boy. Jesse and Joey run after him, deciding, well, maybe now is a good time

Car was in an accident.

Well with who someone had to do driving?

What happened?

Yeah, So Jesse tells him that he was coming out of Pep Boys when he was hit from behind, which sent him down a hill, hit a guardrail and went into the bay and sank, okay, wait, yeah.

Was he sating? So he's saying he was coming out of Pep Boys and saw the car hit from behind and go down the hill. He wasn't in the car, right, We're not.

It's confusing. It's definitely confusing, confusing because I think he's saying when he says he was hit from behind, I think he meant he bullet the bullet right was hit from behind, not Jesse. Jesse right hit from behind. It was bullet because there's no way Jesse.

Because there's no way Jesse was in the car. No, there's no way Jesse was in the car. Car, or he would have been covered in seaweed.

Yeah, you're right, and he would have been been flattened.

Yeah.

So yeah, no, it's because that was I was like, wait, he went down. Jesse survived this, and we're not talking about that. We're just worried about the car. But I was like, no, I think he says, like I'm coming out of pet Boys, and yeah, yeah.

So yeah, let's just assume that Jesse was not in the car.

No, some baby was not in the car and sent it to.

Its untimely demise into the bay. Into the bay. Uh so bullet went out in a blaze of glory. Danny starts laughing because he thinks this is all a joke, and he tells Jesse, what you really had me going there for a minute. Do you know what a car that sank to the bottom of the bay would look like? Ye? Well, at that moment, Danny walks out to the backyard, laughing and slowly stops when he sees bullet. DJ takes this opportunity to take another polaroid and says to Stephanie, we'll

It's a he really kind of recreates that moment.

Yeah, that was a spot on description. Yeah, Danny says, it's fine. These things happen. Kay, Sarah Sarah, Jesse says, drop the act. Every weekend, you are out here waxing and polishing. Joey says Jesse. It is not about the hundreds of hours in labor he put into the car. It's about the ten years of memories. It drove him to his first real job, and then it helped him raise a family. This car was Danny's twenties.

Oh, Joey, right, his life. Actually, it's not that that's terrible. This is really the terrible part. It's all of this terribleness and you're just.

Like, don't look, Joey stopped talking right, stop talking.

Stop, don't no, no, no no. This car drove him to his first real job.

Job. Yeah, so if he bought this car for his twentieth birthday, m hm, was DJ Bourne already and he didn't he got his first job at like twenty.

I'm just trying to figure out this whole timeline. Yeap.

Yeah, Well, if it's his first real job, let's assume he was working at a job, like a temporary job like you do, like when you recently graduate. Like my you know, Tate, My son is nineteen and he's a server at a restaurant. It's not his job, it's gonna half forever. So I think Danny probably had a job like that before he got this podcast job. Okay, yeah, okay, all right, that's my explanation anyway, got it. So Danny finally drops the phony smile and Jesse encourages him to

It's either the the worst time or the best time.

Well that's a good point, right, It depends on if, right, if sugar is your comfort food, Yeah, it would be for me, this would be the perfect opportunity.

Right, be like, I'm just headfirst into a cake. What Danny is He's shown placid, calm even he you know, he's a little panicked and just sad. But like, I don't know if I came out, I think he handled it.

Well. Well, he's going through the different stage.

I guess that's why Jesse was like, come on, hit me, kick the car, do the and yeah, yeah, you're right.

Well he starts off in denial because he's laughing maniacally, right right, and then he just gets depressed, like I think he skips right over here.

It goes through like the seven stages of grief like whatever.

Angering yeah, yeah, yeah, well it's it's only a thirty minute sitcom. He's got it.

He's got to just rush through all these streets. He's got to process through those feelings right very quickly.

So the next day we are in Michelle's room where Danny is reading a book to Michelle about the sounds that animals make. He asks her what a pig and a dog sound like, and Michelle makes a sound that is well close enough.

It was so cute. This was when, again, when we started like playing to what they were actually doing at the time, and so they were starting to learn their animal noises and starting to learn that stuff. So it was like, well, let's try and see if they'll do it, you know, in front of the camera or whatever. And yeah, we got a couple of little, couple little animal noises.

And the baby voice actor is quickly losing her job here because are stepping up. Yes, And did you notice at this point that Michelle points or Mary Kate whoever it was, points off stage, and I'm like, she's pointing at Adria. I just know she's pointing, and the dried fruit right right, and the little fruit gummies and that the yeah, yeah, yeah, because you know Adria, who's our studio teacher but also the baby wrangler. She's the one

Yep.

But when I saw her point, when I saw the baby pointing, I'm like, that's Adria.

She would get very excited what she'd see. And yeah, you love it for sure.

So Danny turns the page and says, oh, mister Carr, what does mister Carr say? Michelle does not respond, and Danny says, that's right, nothing because mister Carr is dead. Oh wow, yeah, who dead? This book took a dark turn.

Yeah.

Joey enters the room wearing his red plaid robe and asks if he heard Michelle crying. Danny responds, no, that was me. Joey takes Michelle and tries to tell Danny it's just a car. I dare you to look at this baby and not smile. Joey holds Michelle in front of him, dancing her back and forth and making adorable baby talking noises. Michelle and Danny both laugh. Joey says, see, who cares about the car? Danny says, well, than just about the car, Yeah, he cares about the car. He's like,

So they do, and you know they are really moving.

Through this very quickly. I applaud how well they are processing this as a group. Totally, totally. In the next scene, we are in a car dealership. Jesse and Joey walk into the dealership and they see a car that looks exactly like Bullet.

Oh boy.

Joey leans on the car and starts kissing it, when Jesse says, don't do that, we won't get a good price. Good point.

Yeah, don't make out with the car before you buy it.

It's never a good idea, no, Jesse.

Maybe even after you buy it. I don't know that I put my lips on it. But that's okay, that's okay.

Jesse explains to Joey the insurance money is eleven seven hundred dollars, so they just need to get the car for that. They ask how much it is and the salesman says twelve grand. Okay, that seems perfect.

That's there you go.

Yeah. The phone rings at this very moment, and the salesman, whose name is Paul, goes to answer it. It appears to be another customer interested in this very same car. A bidding war ensues.

A very quick bidding war. By the way, It's like he picks up the phone and he's like, this guy's buying the car. You're buying the car. You're buying the car.

Like it's no details are shared. It is all about the money, girls, No, yep, that's it, all about the money. Jesse and Joey offer eleven seven. Paul shakes his head. The guys start to pretend to walk out, hoping Paul will stop them, but he doesn't, and so Jesse comes back and he says, okay, twelve to one. Paul says to the bidd I just got an offer of twelve one, and the bidding just keeps increasing.

Keeps going, keeps going.

We cut to the living room where we see Danny and the girls are the bidders on the other end of the line.

Oh boy, oh.

Boy, Danny says twelve five hundred as the girls cheer him on, And now we are intercutting between the living room and the car dealership. Jesse says thirteen thousand, Danny says fourteen thousand. Dj says I'll kick in an extra twenty and Stephanie says, count me in for seventy three cents, So cute.

Just put it right over the top there.

The bidding keeps increasing until Jesse finally says, I will pay anything for that car. Twenty thousand. This stops Danny. He realizes he's going crazy over a car he has never seen, and he also has to save up to send his girls to college, so he tells Paul just let the other guy have it, but Paul lies and tells Jesse, oh, the other guy went up another thousand. You can have the car for only twenty two thousand. Jesse says, I went from eleven seven to twenty two

Right, Yeah, I was exactly. I was. I was like, someone's gonna pay twenty thousand dollars for this car. But where are they, you know, just twenty thousand cash?

Yeah, well, life insurance maybe oh ooh, I mean.

I'm just I.

Don't know, I don't know. That's one of those we just handwaves that that is right. Okay, the car needs to be bought. So later on in the kitchen, Jesse and Joey enter and Danny says, I got some great news, and Jesse and Joey say, so do we. But Danny's gonna go first. He says, remember when the only car I thought I could love was Bullet, Well, I was wrong. Wouldn't I look good behind the wheel of a cheap wagon ear? And he shows them the brochure.

Oh, I can see the wood paneling. Now those cheap wagoneers yep.

Jesse says, you cannot be serious. Danny tells the story of how he was on the phone bidding on a car today and the Yo yo on the other end of the line kept jacking up the price. Danny said, so tomorrow, I'm buying my first new car ever. Joey says, I hope you weren't planning on using your insurance check, and Danny says, why they opened.

The door to get Danny's insurance check?

I think they. I think they were just assuming that Danny would hand it over. I don't don't know. There's a lot of assumption to pay.

For the car. Yeah, yeah, I asked him many questions.

It's Jesse and Joey. They're just a Joey whatever. They're eleven five.

Showed up.

That's it. So they opened the door to the backyard to reveal the new bullet, complete with an oversized bow. Danny smiles, realizing that Jesse and Joey were the other two Yo Yo's bidding against him, Yo and Yo, Yo and Yo. That's such a funny bit, Danny says. What better symbol for the next decade than a gift from my two best friends. He says, birthdays aren't about numbers, They're about who you spend them with. And you guys made this one great.

Oh and buying cars, you ruin that that helps building your friend's apartments in your basement, telling you, man, they are throwing money around.

Left and right in this house, just rolling in the double I am it's impressive.

It is impressive, but it really And then oh yeah, and then the weird cover rendition of baby you can drive my car? Oh yeah, yeah, good, yeah, But I'm like, who is was it the Rippers?

It's the Rippers who's singing baby I can drive? Well? This is a great this is a great shot because it ends on this the quintessential bridge shot of the family driving over the bridge.

They just basically used the the front the opening title shot and cut it into the show and then made it look and then use that as like to fade into the end credits.

I thought it was great. It was great.

Such agree that you've always seen this is actually that moment that it's from.

And then yeah, yeah, yeah, we find out that and Danny. We find out at last that Danny has renamed the car Walter, which is I don't know, it's not as great as Bullet, but.

It was great. Now no Bullet B two B two B two yeah, B fifty two, I don't know. Yeah, but anyways, that's our show.

That is our show, and it's.

So it's our show. No other shows have been or cars have been harmed in the making of this show.

Not yet.

Cars have met an unfortunate demise.

But for everywhere you look movements, yes, okay, this week's everywhere.

You look moments. So you know how Bullet when the car comes back from uh, when Jesse comes back from the accident and we first see Bullet the car in the backyard, do you hear the tow truck driver who says, hey pal, good luck.

No, I don't remember that, it's Jeff Franklin.

Shut up, it's Jeff Franklin. Jeff Franklin is the I heard the voice and I was like, it was Jeff, but the voice is Jeff Franklin and he says, hey pal, good luck. You know, as the tow driver, as the tow truck driver who is driving off and leaving Jesse and the original bullet there. That's so great. It's sort of an everywhere you listen, everywhere listen, but it counts. It definitely counts. Yeah, so Jeff, Yeah, we had Jeff

That's so great. I wonder if Jeff got a residual just for that voiceover, because.

He's not getting enough residual, right because he's ye creator and writer and all of the other. Yeah, I'm sure is Yeah, that was that.

Hey, those money, those thirty three cents from this voiceover is really just huge.

But yeah, yeah, Stephanie contributed to the purchasing a bullet.

Yes, right, yeah, well I have one everywhere you look moment. Oh, I don't know if you noticed by the kitchen back door there is that weird circular notepad and it was in Fuller House too. It was in full House.

Yeah, those were Those were pretty typical that you would keep by the phone. It was like a running notepad like.

To write, like we never actually used it, but the prop guys or the set deck guys would would write like milk or something like a list or something. But I saw it in this episode. I'm like, wait, we have that in Fuller House too.

I saw one of those stupid like BuzzFeed article lists things or whatever. It was like if you know what this is and you're you know, near dead or whatever, like this you know, and it was things from like I don't know, the fifties or sixties or something, and one of them was it was that exact. It was like a roll of paper and mounts it on a wooden thing on the wall next to the phone, and you would just write stuff down and tear and then

I need one. I'm gonna look on eBay. I need one in my house. I need it by the back door where there's no phone, just so I can write random item, you.

Can write random things.

Yes, it's right, so great. It's just seen.

Covers for bullet on the back and just so you know, just to jog your memory as you're walking out. Yeah, well, another wonderful episode. I actually, you know, it was funny when we started doing this episode, I did not remember that there was this car episode before the Car through the Kitchen episode, which was Joey's car, which a red car, also a red vintage car.

Why are there so many red vintage cars?

And where it happened Joey got rid of the bug and oh, you're right, see now we know now we know too many things. Yeah, there that was the next car that goes that has an unfortunate end.

Man lesson learned if you live in San Francisco, don't buy a vintage red car.

Don't buy a vintage red car, and certainly don't bark it on the street.

Yeah, or don't let your daughter drive it backwards through the kitchen.

Well, yeah, definitely.

There's a lot of less and learn.

There's so many things. Well, froll House, that's what we did we taught life lessons well, Andrea Barber, Jody Sweeten. Another wonderful and fun episode of How Rude Tanner Rito's delving into all of the fun episodes, Oh my gosh, the Big Three to oh we just I can't believe thirty was old.

I just it really hurts my heart, not anymore hurts my heart.

Well, everybody, I am so glad that you joined us for another episode of How Rude Tana Rito's. Make sure that you are subscribing to the podcast. Wherever you're listening, go ahead and rate and review.

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