I feel like we haven't done this in like months, right, it was just last week, I know, but I'm like, how do I do this again? Okay, there we are. Someone will tell us if if we're not doing.
It, so hopefully hopefully Okay, So I don't care about anything else right now except for hearing about your epic weekend at New Kids on the Blocks opening night of their residence. Taw me everything. I need details from the whole weekend. Let's start at the beginning. And it was amazing.
I'm still recovering and not from drinking or anything or debauchery, Like, I'm just old, and I have trouble to stay here, Like.
I just disrupted my sleep pattern and I had to use a different pillow.
Yes, yeah, so like I came home with like a scratchy throat and my head's kind of throwing. So sorry about the smoker's voice. And I stayed on me too because I did.
I was doing press and then a bunch of live shows and so I also, yeah, we've I said, we sound like we've smoked two packs already today.
Hey, nothing like starting off the morning right with a two packer, right, But no, it was so fun, like it was just the ultimate girl's weekend. I love you know, I have friends from all around the world, all around the world, all around the country, right like my friend
get me potentially all around the world. I'm sure. I'm sure I have friends there too, But the ones that I go to New Kids events with, I'm Katie from Connecticut, A two from Phoenix, Angela from Atlanta, and then Sanal from New York.
We all meet like, Oh, I thought you were going to say Sanal from Syracuse. I was really hoping because everyone's to have Angela from Atlanta, like and.
Like you know what I mean, everyone had like there.
I was like, oh, this is like a thing I thought you were going to say, like you know, Sarah from xandiego.
Well, we do joke because there's two Andreas in the group. I call her we call her A two and I'm a B just to like differentiate. But yeah, we've made jokes before about how everyone else will have to change their name to Andrea because there's two Andrea's.
Well keep it going, but I think I think one of them needs to change.
Where they say they're from. That would be a better Yeah, okay, well let them I'll work on it. Katie from Connecticut was so son needs.
Kati from Connecticut, Angela from Atlanta.
I was like, okay, and then you like, from I'll tell her to move to Syracuse and that will solve that. San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco.
You know, there's there's options, options, just not she's.
More East Coast southern, you know. Ye, well she works in New York City, so that has to be we have Syracuse probably would be the easiest.
Then yeah, yeah, okay, good let her know that that that that she needs to be chosen.
Her next destination. Okay, yes, So anyways, it's great because we don't see each other like on the regular, so we have our annual like New Kids concert or crews or whatever it is. These are my homeies, my besties that I love that we get together, so it's so fun. Luckily, usually all these things are on the East Coast. But finally, finally Vegas we get something I can drive to. So
I did. I did the whole road trip on the way and I charged at the same station that we charged, so yeah, I know it was so I drove out there. It was It's a beautiful drive, as you know, like it was just just a great ring. But yeah, I was at the park MGM, so we all met up. We had adjoining rooms. It's so fun. It's just I mean, Vegas is just a it's unlike any other place in the world.
You know this, it's insane, right, You have to really you have to be willing to lean in against you know what I mean, Like you have to be there and be like.
Okay, it's a it's a lot. Here we go. It's a lot. It's people. It's it's people. It's so overstimulating.
My gosh, yes, it's it's and you just walk and if you're like, I'm going here we go, then you're fine with it. But if you're like, I don't know if I'm up for this, like it just.
Feels like, you know, you just you have to like brace yourself, like especially, be like, okay, right here I go.
I'm leaving the hotel room. I'm going out here I go.
Right yeah, And of course it takes like twenty minutes to walk anywhere in the hotel, Like you know, you're walking and walking and getting Yeah, you're in Disneyland everywhere you're like here we Yeah, it all looks the same, it all looks the same but different.
Right, ironically, I'm not I haven't even done to the New Kids part yet. Okay, so you know, I'm sorry, we're just breaking down Vegas.
Yeah. The craziest thing was that my brother Darren, who's been on the podcast. He loves Vegas and goes all the time. He's he loves to gamble. So he's just like, you're in I guess I'm in Vegas, and I'm just like, you are not here. At the same time, he's like, yeah, what are you doing. I mean he's secretly a New Kids fan. No, no, no, absolutely not. He doesn't even know their names. He tried to recite their names, and he thought he and I would get along.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, I know Donnie and then there's a Wallberg in there, and that's a Joey you know. Yeah. So yeah, so we we met up just briefly, like he came to gamble at my hotel. I introduced him to my friends and then he like, so we went to blockhead Headquarters, which is like this experience blockheadquarters, blockhead Headquarters. I know, no, but really, if you were smart, it would have been block headquarters. Like that's just well they
did say blockhead HQ. Is that better? No, it's better.
I think I just feel like you could headquarters with the word yeah, blockheadquarters.
Well i'll pass that note. I'll pass that note A.
Lot to manage that along with her moving to Syracuse.
So we went to block Headquarters. I'll just adopt that name, okay, which is where they have like all their merch There's the larger than life sized doll boxes that it's a photo opportunity. You get like stand in the photo box with your friends. They had like a confetti room, which was a little anti climactic, but you go in there for like thirty seconds and then like blow confetti everywhere and you can take a photo or a video or whatever. So that was a little out of control and crowded
and crazy. But my brother like balcked his way in. I'm like, I had to get tickets for this, Like I had. You have to like refresh and get tickets.
Wait, how do you have to get tickets and your brother got in for nothing?
What's the other way around?
At this point, new kids should be like you get a cut, you know what I mean? Like you you would have been such a dedicated fan. We actually are giving you a percentage of tickets in.
The tickets were free, but you you did have to reserve them in advance because it was a capacity okay, clearly lot, like seventy five people in at a time because it would be like way too crowded. Fire secrets were free, but you did have to reserve them. So my friends and I reserved unless you're Darren.
Barber, yeah, which case, well, he tried to talk his way in and then someone walked out and said, here, take my wristband, and so Darren walked in and tried to fire. And I'm like, you were such a fish out of water right now at blockhead Quarters.
Yeah, but that's what you do.
He's go ahead if you're not really that committed and you you'll find a way it'll happen.
Oh and he did. He did. So anyways, Block Headquarters it was fine. It was too crowded and I never need to go again. But then the concert, you know concert, the opening night was Friday night. There was so much uh excitement in the air, like people were just breasing, Like blockheads were dressed up, there were sequins, there was tool there was just like short dresses, no dresses, there was just a whole lot of like everything, well not exactly,
but you know, you know we're showing some skin. You know, this is great for it.
Yeah, Rocket, I've worked its Vegas. Nothing matters you walk around, Lord knows, I've walked around like.
An idiot in Vegas.
So I'm sure, yeah, that's dress, no dress, you know whatever.
So if you recall the last time we talked, and I had said my expectations were very low because they only started rehearsals like two weeks in advance, right right.
Yeah, this is gonna be It's been like ten days of them, six days of them are in four days of them rehearsal.
So I'm like, this might just be the same old thing, the same old set list, and that's fine. I love them all, support them anyways. But my expectations were kind of low, and I was like, that's okay. Oh no, the entire Blockhead community was blown away. Like the guys stepped it up. They put some money into this show. The production value was next level for new kids. Okay, so yeah they had like a subway car. That's how they that's oh I should okay. If you're going to
the concert and you don't want to be spoiled. Don't listen. Don't listen from here.
On out because there's spoiler alert. There's yeah, subway cars. There was a subway everything else.
That's how they like arrive on the stage because that was part of their Please Don't Go Girl video, which was their number one.
It was the first video significance of them in the subway. Did they start singing in the subway?
No, they were boys from Boston, so like they rode the tea everywhere and it's just a big part of the culture and that was a big part of the video. So yeah, so they like, legit step out of the subway car. It's an actual what I heard is it's an actual subway car from Boston that they somehow got to Vegas. Like I don't even know how you okay, So it's very authentic. Yeah. And then they had like they had a Corvette, like a white not a corvette.
Is it a corvette? It's a convertible, a convert your car. Yeah, I don't know my cars, but they they like another part they drive in on white was a.
White Corvette some significance. What video was invertible that was.
I'll Be Loving You Forever or was it hanging tough. I think it was I'll be Loving You forever. Okay, I don't know. One of the videos. Yeah, so they like go.
Also, one of the videos was like a white white convertible, convertible, white convertible, like an old school Yeah.
Like an old school probably like a Cadillac. Yeah, maybe Cadillac. That's what. That's like, a big one, like big long trunk. Yes, yes, that's it. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so that was part of the number. But okay, the highlight of the show, well, there were a lot of highlights. They did some deep cuts, they did some numbers that they haven't performed in like fifteen years. Oh, they did some Yeah, we were very exciting.
Was for the fans for sure, This was this is for the fans who were like, we have been here a long time and they were delivering. But the probably the highlight of the whole performance was they had these flying phone booths. I'm not kidding. They had they lowered these five It was like a phone booth or at first I thought it might have been like the doll box, but it was.
Like almost like a British looking sort of phone.
But like, yeah, it's just like a like like an old school phone booth, like an old school phone both.
Yeah. Right, it was like that we recognized and that people young generations are like, well, what is that glass box which you stand in exactly.
Every exactly, So it's like a it's kind of like a nod to the nineties. I thought it might have been like an old like like a doll box, but whatever, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, each each of the five guys they strapped themselves in and it took them way up to the top of the theater and out over the audience. They were like face to face with the balcony, with the audience in the balcony, and
they asked their minds because they're in the balcony. They're just like, you know, we got the cheap seats, were never going to see them up close, and then they were there like right up close. They did a whole number from like the sky. It was great. John was very.
Narouse did that at her at the last concert that she did, where she like got on this box thing and then it like raised and so it was at like sort of level to see.
Yeah, it's so I mean, the things they can do now, you know, it's it's great. Well, they know, we don't.
We're not used to this as blockheads because they usually tour like they get they put they load everything on a tour bus and they go around the pantry. Touring is I mean you can do I've seen tours the Beyonce tour. I mean there that is going city to city and it's.
Und does she have five flying phone booths that she takes with her around the country.
You would not believe the things that appear in a Beyonce concert. I've never been to a Beyonce concert. I only go to let me tell you, what do you want to talk production value? Oh, I can imagine. I can't imagine.
Hers is just next level. Yeah, but for new kids, this was great. They can do a lot more things. Flying phone booths. I'm totally for flying phone but it was amazing. It was I got a little nervous, I have to admit I was a little nervous for them because then well, yeah, because you know you got like Donnie who's like moving it around. He's like there's always one kid that has to like shake the you know, shake the phone, swing on. It's like that. So I
was like, don't do that, you know. Anyways, it was outstanding. It was definitely highlight but the whole show, Like I screamed, the higher time I stood, the entire time I danced, the entire time. It was just the best, Like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of them because it's such it's honestly one of their best shows they've ever done, if not the best show they've ever done.
That's that's exactly what it should be, you know what I mean. And it sounds like they really considered the fact that a lot of the people coming to this are like die hard fans that have loved them for a long time. So like give them stuff that they know, you know what I mean, Like give them stuff that's not just sort of the surface level, like not just best hits, right, Yeah, exactly, play it for the fans that like get really excited to hear some of those deep cuts.
Oh yeah, it was so good. It was so good. I'm going back in November because they're doing I don't know how many shows, they're doing anything three weekends in June and then they take a long break and then they come back in November. So I will be back in November of course, and yeah, it was just amazing. Go see it. Or if you're in Vegas, go see it. If you're not in Vegas, go to Vegas and see it.
It's it's phenomenal. It was just always a good time, even the the you know, they always have like the older people who were comps to get in, like the people who were in the casino and you're like.
Oh, here, right, we're gonna give your free tickets.
To something because you've lost all your money gambling or whatever. Right, Yeah, older people were totally into it. So I'm just like, this is multi generational. It's great. I mean, let's be fair.
At this point, those people are our parents' age. So they had to listen to this crap. Yeah crap, but I don't mean it like right, but they listened. This was the stuff that they listened to in the car with us on the.
Radio, you know what I mean. It's like, yes, this is like the tailor Swift for a side girls, you know, so we'd.
Like seventy five will be like, oh my gosh, I remember this Taylor Swift.
Yeah it's so great. Yeah, a great trip. Just I've just been floating, even though I have like a head cold.
Now.
I've just been floating for days because it was amazing.
So well, I am so glad that. I'm so glad that you had a good time and had a good we thank you.
Yes, and me too. I couldn't wait, your doll, I couldn't wait to tell you about it and share it with our fan read ice. I know well.
I texted you at one point this weekend and you.
Were like, oh, I'm driving back. I was like that girl, never mind, like go please do not. Don't worry about me now.
Yes, you'll go do NKOTB and we will talk when you get back.
Yeah, yep, it's so great. Oh good great, Yes, And I know you were You did some traveling yourself. We were both out of town. You went to New y How was your whirlwind trip to New York? It was lovely.
I went to New York. Uh for like you know, less than forty eight hours. I did Good Morning America and what else? Good to New York and people and a few other things nice.
But it was great and I did it.
It was pressed for my lifetime movie that came out on the twenty first.
It already came out, dang it. I gotta watch it Saturday the twenty first.
It's called Dateless to Dangerous my Son's Secret Life. I'm going to watch the drama, but no, it's about you know, young boy, teenage boy that gets radicalized online in these sort of manisphere misogynistic, racist, violent areas of the internet that are really attracting a lot of young men through community and feeling like they belong.
And all this kind of stuff.
So I felt like it was a really important topic. I mean, and also, of course Adolescence had come out has come out recently, yea, so people are really talking about this topic and sort of you know, what's happening to young people in general, but young men in general are turning towards violence and hatred and rage and and it's very scary, so important and so anyway, I was really really happy with it. I haven't watched the whole thing yet because I was wondering, I ever do right
that watch podcasts in thirty years? Is reach Out your lifetime movie? But yeah, I I was really you know, I've watched that half of it. I was really really proud of what we did.
So and the kids in it.
Alexander Elliott that plays my son Miles and Nikki Rumel who plays my daughter Hayley.
They were just phenomenal actors. It's a heavy topic. Yeah, it's a lovely topic.
And you know when you read the script, you're like, oh, I love this script.
Like but you know, you're like, I really hope whoever.
You know, the the young actress that plays Miles, like they really have to carry a lot on their shoulders, and I hope, you know, and you just want a really great actor for it, and we got one.
So it was it was great. But yeah, I went and did pressed for that.
Saw my friend Josh McBride in New York and we went out to a concert thing at his friend's house for Juneteenth, which was it was We went down to Harlem and his friends they do like this huge concert on the stoop of a of a Brownstone on like one nineteenth and Lenox and it's his friends Brownstone that they have this thing on.
Like the street was packed. It was just it was such a great vibe, really really really amazing. And I was such a New York that's such a New York thing too, Like this is such a New York thing.
It was such a and it was you know again it was a juneteen celebration, so it was there was just, uh, just a really great amount of like black culture represented and joy and positivity, and it was I was just really honored that I, you know, got to got to come down for a little bit and hear some amazing music and have some fun.
And yeah, so I did that.
That was like my one little bit of sort of fun that you know, we got in there. Yeah, and then uh yeah, and then I came home and then I uh did my live show on Saturday. I did my smoke show with Sweet and Comedy Pageant our Pride Edition on Saturday. Oh.
It was great. It was great.
We had Jessica Michelle Singleton, who's a hilarious comic, Sandy Danto who's been on a bunch of Comedy Central and Tonight Show and stuff, and then my friend Daniel Webb who has been opening for Margaret Show on the road for a while. So we had we had a lot of fun and you know, it was a great time. And we have our next one July nineteenth.
Yes, so that's the one that I'm going to try to come. That's the one that.
Yeah, yeah, you're coming to and Kim and yeah.
Sony, is Melanie coming, I don't know, but we think Melo's gonna come anyway. But yeah, it's so July nineteenth.
We spoke LA if anybody here in the LA area wants to come come out support say hello. Yeah, well there, So there was one lovely fan and her husband who came and they were taking their daughter down to a dance competition in San Diego and the show happened to be like on their way sort of down there, and so they brought the kid and I so we were like, wait, there's.
A kid in the audience.
So, but the venue also has these spaces that are soundproof podcasting booths, and so the venue had said the little girl really just wanted to see me come out on stage and get a picture afterwards, and her mom was totally fine with her sitting in the soundproof booth like to the side of the room on her iPad with headphones while we had you know, the completely outrageous like Pride comedy show that just made a lot of dick jokes. So yeah, but at first I was like, oh, no,
a child. Yeah, I didn't plan and I was like, I mean, you know, I guess I was like nine when I went with Bob the the Laugh Factory and I turned out, all right, is so, what's the worse that could happen? But no, she was she was in a soundproof booth, so her innocence has been prolong and she was very cute and super sweet and excited to get a picture.
And oh I love that. Yeah it was. The show went really great.
I'm having such an awesome time doing it. And yeah, it was fun.
I love it. Did you make a lot of changes from the first show or was it pretty much?
We we just we have like a rotating where we try and kind of rotate out a few different segments each time. Yeah, and you know, it's we're still kind of in the early stages of this particular show, so we're like trying new things out. Things that worked really well. Okay, well it's that we like that keep that you know, this one Okay, maybe that didn't hit so great, you know, but it's, uh, it's going really well.
I love that. We're very happy with it, and I can't wait to see it. So I'll get to see it at the show next I cannot wait. It's gonna be so good.
Well, since we've done a minie show Chattered.
You guys want to get to the boy.
What Literally, it's just like, here's our weekend, let's see. Oh god if it's twenty two minutes and I am so sorry everyone, Sorry, everybody.
We had a lot to catch up on. We had a big weekends, and we've been seen each other in like seven days, so we had a lot to catch up in a week, and many things have happened.
Okay, here we go, ready, one, two, three, and now welcome.
Back to How Rude tan Ritos. I'm Andrea Barber and I'm Jody Sweet, and today we're discussing season five, episode two, Matchmaker Michelle. It originally aired September twenty fourth, nineteen ninety one, and it goes a little something like this, Michelle and Teddy.
Schem scheme scheme schem scheme scheme is that schmear it's a shitchle right, Like, no, it's not a Yiddish word.
That is scheme schem scheme.
Si. I like saying scheme, so schemy.
There you go. We should do this whole recap pronouncing the things wrong. That would be Oh, people would really love that.
Yeah. Yeah, twenty three minutes in that's what we should start doing.
Okay, so Michelle and Teddy scheme to couple Danny with their kindergarten teacher, which is really Michelle who's scheming or scheming, and Teddy's just kind of like going along. I don't know, but Michelle, Michelle has an agenda, she has Teddy's kind of like kind of be I mean, we'll get that, we'll get there. Yeah, he's kind of started this whole thing, so gonna start That's kind of Teddy's fault. Blame Teddy. It was directed by Joelswick, it was written by Ellen Guiless,
and we got great guest stars returning. Gary returns as Gary Griffin, the Redheaded Ripper. Yeah it was great. I think he had a line. I think he's the one that yelled at Jesse and the Smash Club or yeah, yeah, a line, so he gets credit. June Lockhart returns as Miss will Trout, and Taj Marie returns as Teddy. And oh boys, he the most adorable little living doll. He is just so so cuute. We start with the teezer
in the girls room. Michelle runs into the room and makes a bee line for dj who is fast asleep. Even though all the lights are still on, very bright house. She shakes her sister and shouts, DJ, DJ, wake up. DJ groans, oh, it's Saturday morning. I'm sleeping. Michelle questions, then why are you talking? And DJ explains I'm talking in my sleep. Good night, and throws her pillow over her head. Michelle completely disregards DJ's hope for peace and quiet.
She shouts, you're missing the road Runner cartoon, and then she runs around the room mimicking the Roadrunner Meet Me, Meet me. DJ interrupts, Hey, looney tune, cut the meeping. When you reach a certain age, you're just too mature to waste your Saturday morning watching cartoons. Right on cue. Joey excitedly runs into the room to tell Michelle that she's missing Roadrunner. He gives her a brief rundown on what she's missed. Apparently, Wiley Coyote is suspended midair but
hasn't started to fall just yet. Michelle questions, how come he doesn't fall until he looks down, and Joey tells her that's how cartoon gravity works. That's kind of true, you know, like they all like the suspend air look down. Can you imagine if that was really how it was like, if you just ran hard enough off of the thing, you'd be like, I just don't look down, just look downtown. It's kind of like that Squid Game episode, you know,
like don't let yeah back down? Yeah yeah, give you a dark So Joey grabs her hand and pulls her out of the room so they can continue watching. On their way out, they both shout meet me, mape me, and DJ sighs, Oh well, I'm up, and she trudges towards the door and half heartedly copies them, Mate mebe, mate mebe. Next to Michelle's room, Joey walks in with Teddy and happily tells Michelle that someone came over to play. Michelle casually says hi Teddy, and Teddy smiles Hi, Michelle.
Joey wonders, so what are you too? Crazy kids up to a little tea party, and Teddy mischievously grins, We're gonna play Terminator two. Joey imitates Arnold Schwarzenegger and responds, Oh, no problem o asta la vista baby, consider that a divorce. I'm the party pooper.
I didn't get the last two, but maybe it's because I haven't ever seen any of the terminators.
Oh yeah, these are like his classic lines that he says that in that same voice. Okay. Michelle and Teddy crack up at Joey's silliness, and then Joey tries to exit the room, but his muscly stance prevents him from doing so. The kids continue to laugh and Joey eyes them I'll be back, and then he side steps out of the room. Dave really commits to these bits, like he just goes for it. I mean, Dave loves a good voice, you know, yes, so good at it. So
Michelle suggests that she and Teddy play house. Teddy agrees and offers to play the daddy, and Michelle exclaims, I'll play Uncle Jesse. Teddy's face scrunches with confusion. Uncle Jesse, you should be the mommy, and Michelle admits I don't know how to be a mommy. I know. Heartbreak. We basically in the first scene still and it's like starting he's.
Like my mom's dad, I mean, but at least I mean always we're talking about.
It, and we're talking about it. Really, this is the.
First time we've ever really seen Michelle deal with it, because she's been so little up util that.
That's true, that's this is a very important episode in that respect. Yeah, and Teddy asks why not, and Michelle informs him, I don't have a mommy, So Teddy advises her, you should get one. Mommies use fabric softener on your pajamas. Michelle smiles, My daddy does that.
See egalitarian from in the early es.
My dad does the laundry. Yeah, it's like you don't need a mom for that. Yeah, Danny Tanner, Teddy ads, mommies always have good candy in their purse, and Michelle admits, my daddy has wet naps in his wallet. Teddy tells her that mommies smell nice and wear pretty dresses, and Michelle's I mean, if they want to, sometimes they might wear pants. This is the nineties. I know they're very gender, but it was yeah, yeah, no, I get it. I get it. And Michelle size you got me there. Teddy
doesn't sugarcoat it. It's too bad you don't have a mommy. You're missing something good. Harsh. Oh, this is just brutalil brutal. Yeah, Michelle pouts and lays her head in her hands. You're right, I need a mommy. Yeah, straight out of the gate. This is just like, this is heart wrenching. Yeah. So I was reminded of the Honeybee sleepover episode where those girls just kept let's do let's wear high heels and two right right right, rubbing it in. And I was
so irritated at those Honeybees. But I'm not irritated, not as irritated with Teddy for some reason, because I don't know he's.
Yelling because well he's younger, and also it's one on one. Yeah, that's so it doesn't feel as obviously.
Slighting like you're the only one, like when you're.
The only one left out and it's a mom and a daughter thing.
Like it, you know what I mean.
They it was almost like a point to be exclusionary from everybody else.
And this just is like a little kid asking a question. Yeah, and Teddy he doesn't know any better. He does, he's not trying to make her feel bad.
Yeah, So like I kind of like, you know, you're like damn, but this is what kids do, right, And they're like.
Why is why do you have a weird nose? And You're like, oh cool.
Yeah's on their minds, Like yeah about that all my life.
It's kind of a prerequisite for five year olds to just blab out whatever's on their mind.
They say the uncomfortable thing before you learn that sometimes you shouldn't say things.
Yeah, so Teddy gets a pass for this. It was made me sad, but I'm not mad at him because he's just being a five year old. Next, in the girls room, Danny is vacuuming while Steph is doing homework on her bed and wearing her cute glasses. Yeah, I'm glad, like I look like Arnold. Is that the name of it.
No, not Arnold Waldo. No, oh, yeah, that's w Waldo.
There's also weird.
There's another little cartoon. I think that it has like some but the turtle. There's a turtle that wears glasses and but it's the little round ones.
Yeah Waldo. Frank Is it Franklin? No, that's what I'm thinking of. Franklin. We have My turtle's name is Franklin. So yeah, that's why. That's the only reason why I know.
Yeah between yeah, somewhere between Franklin and Waldo.
Yeah, I love it. So Steph erases something on her paper and Danny takes the liberty of vacuuming up the eraser shavings. This hate eraser shavings. I know they an it's very annoying. I agree. This sparks a brilliant idea in her mind, and she tells her dad, just to save you some more cleaning, what's the capital of Ecuador? Danny insists it'd be better for her to look it up instead of him just giving her the answer. Steph sees right through him. You don't know, do you, and
Danny admits, not a clue. It's Keto. By the way. See, I was going to say, what is the guy? I looked it up. I would like to know. I look at I didn't know, but I looked it up. It's Keto. Yeah, okay, good to know. Now we all know it's an educational podcast here geography. So then DJ walks in and tells her dad, I have to write a paper about what it's like being another person. So guess what I'm doing. I'm going to live in someone else's house for two days,
and someone else is going to live here. Danny responds that sounds like a neat idea. Who's going to live here?
This is? It feels like something you'd need a permission slip for first you know what I.
Mean, Like the parents don't know we're switching kids.
What in today's ag you'd have to sign one million release forms and like yeah, now all of all of them. This is where the idea for the show wife swap came.
Oh I bet from this, from this very right, yeah yeah, so on cue Jimmy Gibbler comes barging into the room, knocking her suitcases against the wall without a care in the world. It's such a good interest.
You are buff because you've got suitcases full as of you're slanging them.
Yeah right, Like I love it was great. Like I just I'm gonna just brag about myself for just like I I'm just so proud of how I embodied like the physicality of mcause that was direction, Like that was me. I'm just like, I'm going to bang these things again.
I'm just yeah, because you're like, that's Kimmy is just let me come in as loudly and obnoxiously as possible and oblivious do my, she's just.
A bullet and china shop.
But she doesn't care, so just doesn't Yeah, no idea.
I freaking love that. So anyways, she greets Danny ola mister T, and Stephanie runs up to her dad in horror.
Do something she's got luggage.
Danny shakes his head, God save us all. DJ laps them off. It's for school. Every good grade helps me get into college. Danny then goes back on everything he's ever said to his girls about schooling. You know, a good education is highly overrated. DJ tells her family members to relax, and she assures them that she'll they'll have a great time because Kimmy isn't actually Kimmy. She's gonna be DJ, and DJ won't be herself because she's gonna be Kimmy. Then she stops her rambling and asks, am
I going too fast? Mister T? Danny demands, I want my little girl back. DJ shrugs, don't look at me, She's right here, and she points to Kimmy, who gives Danny a huge grin in response. Danny tells Kimmy that they can give this a try as long as she behaves like DJ, but Kimmy tells him there are a few slight differences. She doesn't do housework, homework, or anything with work in it. DJ smiles, well, enjoy the new
me audios tan Rito's and she happily walks away. Stephan Danny are now left alone with Kimmy, who asks, so what do we do now? And then she realizes you people like to hug, don't you, and she proceeds to give them an unwonted big group hug. And you're O, Kimmy, your facial expression kills me in this. In this bit, you're just like your face is right to the camera. Yeah, yeah, so funny. This is a great little storyline, Like I loved this. Oh, this was very funny, so funny. Yeah.
Then in the your headband was me say, it looked really cute covered my entire the entire top of my remember, I mean they're kind of coming but yeah, like the big fifth band over one use him as a tube top or a headband. Yes, that's exactly just glue, some fake jewels or something on that exactly what it is so great.
So next in the kitchen, Jesse walks in. He's looking down in the dumps. He tells Becky and Joey that Jesse and the Rippers got turned down by another record company. Didn't they just have a tour, right, didn't they? What just happened. That was just the whole problem, Like he was going to be away from the babies and the pregnancy or whatever.
So did he go like screwed, I'm not gonna do that, but I'm gonna go try and get another record.
I'm confused, Okay, I don't know. Suddenly he's now having a midlife crisis with this with his band. So apparently the Rippers image is too soft. That's all those mullets. The mullets man Jesse argues that he's tougher than anybody, and immediately after saying this, he turns on his baby voice and says hello to Becky's baby bump. He touches her belly and calls the baby's his twinsy Winsies, which snaps him back to reality.
He asks, and I have to say, it's seeing how women rock pregnancy now.
Like you look at Laurie's outfits, even.
What I wore when I was pregnant, and I was like, wow.
It was just like you were just a tent.
You look it looked like like it was still all trapped in like nineteen sixty five.
It looked very datd Ban.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's just wearing a giant circus. She's like a giant.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, like with the bumps and stuff, like you kind of had to give it. They didn't look exactly super real, so you had to give it a little you know, space. But yeah, but that was what was maternity, where you just cover.
It up like it's not there. But yeah, you don't want to hear about those details, see them, just cover that up. No, I think No, Kimmy, when I was pregnant in a fuller house, they had way more fashionable stuff. Oh yeah, I improved, improved dramatically in the last thirty years. So, Joey mocks Jesse in a baby voice. Yes he Wessy Jesse. Jesse admits he's a woos He asks Becky what he should do. He has a showcase tomorrow night for another
record company. Becky reminds him that he and Joey used to be in advertising, right, get that up.
Didn't they have a whole like recording studio and like like didn't they? Yes, what happened to the jingle writing and the advertising bits and the company, Well they had to turn it into an apartment, the jade into the basement, right, So why why is Jesse, I don't know. Yeah, they just abandoned the J and J Creative Services or whatever it was called. Everything before this episode didn't happen. It was all a dreaming. It's did we shoot these out of order? I know.
So Becky suggests they get the old team back together and come up with a bad image. Jesse wonders what Joey could possibly know about being bad. He watches cartoons all day. Joey scoffs, are you trying to tell me the Tasmanian Devil isn't bad? Jesse shrugs. What does he do? Joey boasts, He spins around and slobbers, and then he does a very perfect and very slobbery impression of the Tasmanian Devil, which has John breaking.
I mean, can you imagine just doing that, have Dave do that in your face?
You'd be like, oh, be like, oh gosh, yeah it was that was you can tell me.
I can only imagine the in between my you know what I mean, Like what he was saying that that just makes it even more be And you.
Know, Dave went for it and just tried to get as much spittle on Scott.
He was just like I'm gonna just yeah, this is for all the time, as you slap me on the head.
Sweet revenge. So after composing himself, Jesse declares, you're an idiot, but I'm desperate, and Joey happily continues his pression as Jesse drags him upstairs while Becky's eating her very large lunch. Completely it never gets a dressed, by the way, just.
The whole last turkey right there, a whole turkey dinner, and never once is it mentioned.
I mean, I guess.
She's got the yams with the marshmows, she's got the turkey.
Then never once does Joey or Jesse go like a whole turkey you know what? Never mind like nothing. You know that was a setup for a joke. Did the joke get cut? I don't know. But eating for two that had to be the setup for a joke. But yes, never mentioned. She's just eating out of a giant turkey's cavity. It's just stiric, right. I wonder if they brind it.
I hope so, man, if they put it in an orange home deepa bucket like we.
Did, I don't know that. I think that's special between you and me.
I don't.
I don't think they went to that kind of effort, right, So, while Becky's eating her a very large lunch, Michelle walks in. She sweetly asks Aunt Becky can we talk? And Becky says yes, so Michelle plops down in the seat next to her. Becky asks what she'd like to talk about, and Michelle asks, how do I get a mommy. Becky is obviously caught off guard, but she says, well, first, your daddy needs to fall in love with a nice lady.
Michelle wonders, how do you fall in love? Becky responds, I fell in love with your uncle Jesse over a candlelight dinner with flowers and soft music. It was very romantic. Michelle Grinson asks, was there kissing?
This was such a toddler question, but like a five year old question, like.
Right right, Becky Grin's back, Yes, there was. It was just a little good night kiss that lasted three hours. Then Michelle asks, how come nobody kisses my daddy. Becky admits that's a good question and she doesn't have an answer. Her dad is a great guy. But then Becky he starts to list Danny's flaws. He spends all his time cleaning, and he talks too much, especially about himself. So Becky comes to a conclusion, all your daddy needs to do is find a nice lady who's a good listener and
needs a housekeeper. Michelle stares at her. Michelle stares at her blankly. So Becky tries to assure her she's somewhere out there and when he finds her, he'll fall in love and then you'll have a new mommy.
Do you understand? Michelle nods, yes, I do. My daddy needs help. I also feel like I don't know it was well, and I guess we address that when she talks to Danny about it later.
But that like, it's not that she's getting.
Like a new mommy, but you know what I mean, like that she'll always have a feeling like Becky would have been the one to be like, no, you at a mommy, but you would get somebody.
Else that loves you. But I guess we get to that at the end. So yeah, that's true, we get to that at the end. But yeah, at first, I was like, we're not explaining this well people, But yeah, we're getting pam shmam, you know what I mean? They barely mentioned it.
This is the one mention of PAM this season. Yeah, well you get one a season.
Right, that's the quota. So in the girls room, Kimmy is documenting her life swap experiment on a tape recorder. Love that tape recorder. Oh God. She announces what it's like to be DJ Tanner Day one. I'm about to discover the joy of having a little sister. Stephanie is minding her own business, brushing comet on the floor when Kimmy demands, hey, squirt, get me two donuts pronto. Steph rolls her eyes in your dreams. Kimmy reminds her, don't you get it, kid, I'm the big sister. I gave
you a direct order, now snap to it. Stephanie tells her dog to excuse her before addressing Kimmy with the cold, hard truth, hibbler, let me tell you how this sister thing works. You're a pain in my neck, I'm a pain in yours. So if you want a donut, you march your little bird leg eggs down to the kitchen and get it yourself. Like the confidence.
Yeah, it was like, look, look, look like you have this all wrong. This isn't a one way street, my friend.
Let me break it down. Yeah yeah. Gimmy just glares at her, and Steph eggs her on, go ahead, I'll time you go go, you're losing time.
Gimmy falls for this and rushes out of the room at her command.
Do you even remember like little kids into that's.
Like go go, you're hurry, you're gonna oh my gosh, let's see if you can do in thirty seconds.
And they walk out and be like, oh yeah it anyway, Yeah.
Yeah, this was a brilliant little scene. Steph shakes her head in disbelief and goes back to pampering comment. She tells the dog there, goes one human. You're smarter than It's a great it's.
A great little bit. You know, you're very great. Also, your outfit was adorable. I I you know, I have no words to my outfits are morphine into. I thought it was like the little onesie again, right, oh yeah, the little orange little orange onesie. Yeah yeah, that was that was that was okay, that was cute.
But it didn't seem like a DJ outfit, you know what I mean. They didn't really bring mustard yellow and black right pads.
Bike shorts with the lace at the bottom, not a shoulder pad or a blazer to be found.
I know, I really wish they had dressed so they really leaned into Kimmy. Yeah, but I felt like they could have leaned in with DJ a little bit.
Yeah, that's my That's one of my biggest complaints about this whole episode is that, like, I never got to do DJ things like Kandas did great with her oh lot Tannerito's and she was dressed like me a little bit later on, But yeah, I never got to really be DJ. I was just still Kimmy in the Tanner House. So that's all right. Next to Joey's room, Joey's back is towards us, and he's purposefully blocking our view of
Jesse while hyping him up. It's macho, it's tough. It's that hard edge rock and roll image we've been looking for. He moves to the side so we can get a glimpse of Jesse head on, and we see a bright blonde wig that flows all the way down to his belly button. He is seeing very popular back then, they mentioned it, Nelson.
Yes, he is seething as he tells Joey he hates it. Camera zooms in on his disgruntled face to prove how miserable he really is. Joey tries to persuade him, Come on, it's.
Totally Nelson Nelson.
For those of you who weren't born yet, they were twins and they had long blonde hair.
That looked just like that, and they.
Were like a rock and roll duo of the early nineties eighties.
I love Nelson.
Terry was was or is friends with them? Or ohy makeup artist Terry Groves. Yeah, especshietos everybody.
So he puts a mirror Jesse's face, and this causes Jesse to scream at the sight of his own appearance. He immediately did he looks like, oh you know who? He looked like.
He looked kind of like like he's trying to be legalists from uh.
Lord of the Rings.
Oh yeah, elf with the long blond hair or the other one I forget what not Gandal, No, that's no, the I forget the other who plays him, but the long the very elfin sort of half.
And yeah, it did. It was giving. It was giving a lot. John was was he was. He was making this joke work very much so so Jesse. Uh immediately ditches this wig and claims he looks like cousin it. He tries to spit ball some ideas to help Joey wish with the vision he's going for. He wants to be more like white Snake, rat and poison. I feel like there was a joke there a snake.
A rat, and poison. There should have been a joke there didn't this episode long?
Like, why did they have a bunch of jokes?
I don't know.
Jesse wants something that will grab the audience by the throat and just rip it apart. Joey is nodding his head and the gears are turning. He asked, what are those birds that swoop down that everyone is afraid of? Jesse asks pigeons, and Joey shakes his head. No scarier. It finally clicks and he exclaims, I got it. You are vulture. Jesse smirks, vulture. I like it. It's dark, it's vicious. It's kind of like a buzzard, but it's
got better hair. Joey turns on his announcer voice and says, ladies and gentlemen, cover your heads, hide you're dead, and bandage your open wounds. Here comes Vulture. Joey makes weird squawky noises to bring it home, and Jesse looks at him funny. Joey encourages him to do it too, so he takes a whack at it, and after a few attempts, Jesse finally nails the Vulture pose. Oh yes, this, this was this was a nice rocking hole.
It was you know, we were coming out of the like the eighties glam band sort of era and then.
It yeah, it was the it was the Motley Crew.
Yeah, it's but Vulture, I mean, it's just it's very much like TMU, the TU.
Version of whatever they're going for. Yeah, it's right.
I mean, probably anything good has already been taken.
Yeah, that's true.
So Vulture is also hold on, hold on, White Snake? Is White Snake really that good? It's it's just we're just used to it.
You know what I mean. But if that's true, if they.
Had been Vulture, that would sound normal and White Snake would sound ridiculous.
Okay, they both are good point, it gets normalized over time, and so Vulture Vulture it is. Yes.
Over In Michelle's classroom, Miss Wiltrout tells her students it's.
Time to clean up their desks. Michelle's hand shoots into the air and she says, oh. Miss Wiltrout approaches her and Michelle explains, I got crayon on my desk. The teacher tells her that's all right, A little cleanser will clean it right up. Michelle lights up. Do you like to clean? Miss Wiltrout nods, Oh, yes. I always say a clean room is a happy room, and Michelle exclaims, My daddy says that too. I relate to this, Like I feel like I've never related to this as a kid,
but now I'm like, yeah, it's a happy room. I don't feel mentally clear unless it's a organized room. I know you feel the same way.
Oh, absolutely, it is a as a young person. Yeah, you're like, like, that's a lame right, picks up after themselves. I mean we've seen Felicity's room. Oh uh. So.
The school bell rings and Miss Wiltrout applauds the kids for going an entire day without an injury.
She's one of those signs, you know what I mean, Like zero days without it, like.
A count a counting clock. The parents begin to flood into the classroom to pick up their children. Every single parent is a mom besides Dannie, who's there to pick up Michelle. Michelle grabs her dad's hands and exclaims, guess what. Guess what? Guess what, and Danny excitedly responds what. Michelle tells him that Miss wil Trout said a clean room is a happy room, and Danny admits that sounds like my kind of teacher. Michelle nods that is very good news.
Then Miss will Trout walks up to Danny and shakes his hand. The two exchanged pleasantries, and Michelle declares, I'll let you to talk. The two adults don't think much of this, so Danny begins to make small talk. As Miss Wiltrout cleans up her classroom. He asks how Michelle is doing, and her teacher says she did very well in art class today. However, she points out that most
of it wound up on her desk. Danny jokingly asks if he can bring the entire table home with him so he can hang it on the refrigerator, and meanwhile, Michelle sings songs to Teddy at the other end of the room. I've got a secret, and Teddy grins, what tell me? Michelle reveals my daddy and Miss will Trout are gonna fall in love. Teddy narrows his eyes. They are not, Michelle grins. They are too. I'm getting a new mommy, and she excitedly points to her teacher to
prove it. Teddy questions, are teachers going to be your new mommy? And Michelle smirts. Watch this and she's going almost Senorita or whatever. It was just like Thisanny's hot for teachers. It was a few episodes. I guess it was last season he was dating the underage intern and now we've got the teacher again. I'm like, Danny has such a bad track record of dating, although, to be fair,
he's actually not dating Miss will Trout. True, he's not trying to he's not trying to pick up on her like he did with very emotionally.
So she's like, I know, you think for teachers, so they didn't work.
She's analyzed him in her ecological ways, and she's like.
Look, if you don't think the rumors spread about you and Senorita Mosley, everybody in the house knows cause we're making out in the living room.
So yeah, Danny will live down. So many teachers that come to that the dance teacher, Senorita Moseley, like all the teachers, are just having meals at the Tanner house, so Michelle skips over to Danny and Miss Wiltrout, and naturally, Danny is in the middle of giving her some cleaning advice. Michelle butts in and asks Daddy, can Miss Wiltrout eat at our house.
Both adults are a bit thrown by this, but Danny answers, sure, if Miss Wiltrout is looking for someplace to eat, we'd love to have her over. Michelle suggests how about lunch tomorrow, and her teacher admits lunch sounds lovely. Danny lightheartedly responds perfect, it's a date. Then Michelle pumps her fist with the victory and says, yes, oh boy, I'm miss bill Trout could have easily said no, I'm just saying.
She but nobody had to agree with the five year old.
But that's not we don't, says Goes.
You know we've we learned this. She's ruling the house, she's ruling the classroom, she rules everywhere. Yes, so back in the.
There a couple's counselor too. If it ever does work out, Yeah, yeah, yeah, she does. Marriage and family therapy.
So this is job security for Michelle.
Basically, yeah, let's break down, Yeah, let's break down your relationship.
So back in the girls room, Steph is in her pj's getting ready for bed when Kimmy bursts in, wearing a floral romper. Okay where orange? Yeah yeah, yeah this was tame. This, I mean compared comparatively speaking. It was no Mermaid, but it was no Mermaid but but yeah, I was definitely in a romper era. She tells her little sis, you know what I've learned since trading places
with DJ. Stephanie rolls her eyes and makes her way over to DJ's closet as Kimmy continues, There's no one I'd rather be than me.
I love Kimmy right, Like, hell yeah.
Jimmy, you have skipped all.
The high school and just been like, you know.
What, I like being me?
Yes? Why wasn't this celebrated more in the whole house? I was just the butt of all the jokes Off to you, Kimmy.
This is revolutionary for a fourteen or fifteen year old whatever age Kimmy is in this season. Uh yeah, this is like this is what.
Every Yes, this is why I love Kimmy, this should be celebrated.
Oh yeah, but there's only one other person. Kimmy would rather be Madonna because she's really rich. We see Stephanie get into the closet and shuts herself inside, while Kimmy continues to talk or maybe Julia Roberts. People say, I look just like her. Steph shouts from her hiding. But Kimmy, I'm in the closet. I've closed the door. Does that mean anything to you? Gimmy thinks for a moment and then realizes, yeah, I should talk louder. Then I like
how you just you've just given up? You're like I was just so high.
In the closet.
So DJ walks in, wearing a very Gibbler style outfit. Yes, She sees Kimmy and says, ohl ah, Amiga, give me, examines her clothes and admits, Hey, I like your outfit, and DJ responds you should, it's yours, and then she heads over to her closet and opens the door. Steph lights up when she sees her older sister, DJ, you're back. She hops out of the closet and notices her change
of clothes. What have the Gibblers done to you? DJ explains she's just trying to get the full Kimmy Gibbler experience, and then she channels her best friend as she tells Stephanie, now back off, squirt, I just came back to get my skates. Then DJ addresses Kimmy, you didn't tell me it was Roller Derby night at your house. It's me and your dad versus your mom and your brother in the ultimate grudge match race. Kimmy gives her some advice watch out for my mom. She hides an egg beater
in her pants. What. I don't know how this would.
I don't know how that relates to Roller Derby.
But is it a weatbit and like an egg beater? Do you like a whisk or a like those? I think but that's a hand mixer mixer, right, So what's an egg? Is that different than an egg beater? That's how I beat my egg? Oh you know what? You know what an egg beater is.
It's one of those old metal things that you manually did that with and it beat the eggs. We're talking some nineteen fifties, sixties like like this is old even for us. Yeah, yeah, this was this was this was one of the writers being like.
An egg beater. Everyone knows like an egg beater.
Yeah, no, it's they were metal things. And yeah, so I guess, I mean, I guess it's a weapon to beat off the competitors. I don't it's supposed to be weird?
What nothing? What are there not? Competitors? Nothing? Didn't you do? Who's laughing in the chat?
Man?
He's laughing? Why is everyone laughing at me?
Tell me you said you could use it to beat off competitors.
Oh wait, that's wait what everyone is now? Everyone is now laughing in the chat.
I'm sorry I heard it, and I was like, I can't let that go.
I'm sorry. My mind was still stuck on what don't I understand about the sport? Because I'm right, I'm not roller derby?
Is you know anything? It's you it's fighting on skates? Right?
Didn't you do this in a fuller episode or something?
It was a roller derby with something other, some other type of I don't know something competition.
Yeah, I can't remember. No, it was not roller derby.
But yeah, I mean, I guess it would be a heavy metal object, would be an unexpected thing to have in your pants, so.
Off to beat people off.
It's yeah, it's you know, well, I guess there's no better place to put it than in your pants.
If that's the case, I'm gonna blame my cold, my head cold.
For how long it took me to understand why you all were laughing?
Okay, back to roller Derby. Where the heck were we? Oh? Yeah, okay, egg beaters and we're run the beating off of people.
Here we go, hiding an egg beater in her pants? Got it?
There we go? DJ laughs, got it? You know, Kimmy, it's kind of fun being you. DJ turns to leave and runs into Danny. On her way out. She says, hey, mister t pretty sharp sweater. She gets half way out the door before adding not, and that's all I can think of? Is that? Is that an egg beater in your pants? Or you just happy to see me? This could be our next shirt?
You know?
Is that an egg beater in your vests?
Oh?
Boy, I need to I need to compose myself with my teeth.
Yeah, I need to drink I mean a water, right, we need to, we need I'm parking, clarify that, I'm yeah.
So at the Smash Club, Danny and Becky are in a very crowded space filled with rock and roll people. Danny even compliments someone on their dog collar accessory. Becky jokingly tells Danny, you really fit in that, mister Rogers sweater didn't give you away at all.
Yeah, it's true, you really think it really looks Yeah.
Then a mop of long blonde hair comes walking out from behind the stage. A familiar surfer voice points to Danny and Becky, Hey, man, I know you dudes. The person flips back their hair and we see it's Joey. He excitedly tells them, wait till you see the special effects. I rigged. The guys from the record company are going to be totally stoked. They got a hell of a budget, right.
They got a wig budget, they wig budget, got a special effects budget, they got a harness budget. They got smoke budgets. This is very, very high level. Joey comments on danny sweater. He calls it bogus, and Danny responds, thanks, man, it's machine washable. They fist bump while shouting all right, this is like the nerdiest exchange ever.
Also, wasn't bogus like a bad thing? I don't remember.
I was trying to remember, like that bogus, like bogus is usually like that's ridiculous, that's bogus. Yeah, maybe I felt like that's what he was saying. Maybe, well it was Maybe that's the point.
It was thirty years to get that joke. Yes, Danny takes it as a compliment and adds on, oh and it's machine washable.
Got it.
If you have to explain it, it loses something. Anyways, the lights begin to dim, Joey tells them he has to go start the show. He says peace Hippies to his friends, and Becky responds peace baby. Over the speakers. We hear the Smash Club presents the world premiere of Vulture, and then a spotlight shines on Jesse, who's dressed in a black leather jumpsuit with fringes on the arms to make it look like he has wings. He's doing his Vulture pose while suspended in the air. A fog looking
like a Jeans Simmons. Yeah, that's exactly the tongue and everything. Yeah, he totally did.
A fog machine fills the stage before we hear Jesse count the band in using a raspy rocker voice as they begin the song two small explosions happen on stage, which really gets the crowd riled up right pirate technics, Yeah, this is impressive.
Jesse is dangling just an inch above the stage, but he can't put his feet directly on the floor. He's stuck. Yells a Joey to put him down, but Joey can't. He tells Jesse to sing and go along with it while he fixes it. Jesse begins I Want a Rock, and his band echoes the lyrics after him. As Jesse gets lifted into the air again, he ditches the real lyrics and shouts Joey, get me down, and the band echoes those lyrics too. Finally, Joey runs onto the stage
and tries to pull Jesse down himself. Joey asks one of the guitarists to hold Jesse for a second. Uncle Gary Griffin, Yeah, Uncle Gary Griffin, Yeah. Read the red headed ripper, Gary Gibler, Yeah, yeah, Gary Gibler, Yes. But Gary Gibler reminds him he's trying to play. He pushes Jesse toward the crowd, and Jesse goes flying directly over them.
He goes back and forth and Becky shouts from the crowd be careful sweetheart.
Joey tells him to keep singing. They love him. Jesse snatches the long blonde wig from his head as he soars back into the crowd once more. Then we get a quick POV shot from Jesse as he's swinging over the crowd of people.
I just want I was like, I I wasn't there when they shot this, but I was like, how did we do this?
How did we do this?
Yeah?
I don't did they just attach it? I guess that. I mean, I mean, cameras weren't small back and handheld wasn't I mean that wasn't small either. No, I don't know.
How did they have like a not a and they didn't even have steady cams back?
I don't know how they did this, but that made it equally or even more impressive. And then I was afraid, oh my gosh, are we going to see like the edge of the stage, like I kept like it went way out there? So where are we?
Oh?
The POV shot. The music stops and Jesse continues to swing back and forth in dead silence. Becky shouts, way to go, sweetheart. Well, Danny holds up a lighter for him. Jesse just laughs at the situation and jokes Vulture lives, and that was a thing that we did, and that was Vulture. That was Vulture's short lived career. Back in the kitchen, Joey is trying to assure Jesse that the Vulture performance was great. He even claims the firemen, we're happy to get him down after Oh, I bet they were.
It's going to go to their log book of stupid things that they you know what I mean, what's the most ridiculous things that you did this week? Cat, you're in a fringy jacket down from a ceiling a small club.
Yeah, you know, they were talking crap about that after they were done. Yeah. Jesse winces in pain as he walks across the floor bow legged. He shouts in Joey's face, Thanks to you, I got rock and Roll's biggest wedgie. Joey harnesses are not comfortable. I don't blame him for this. I can't.
Yeah, yeah, it feels dangerously close. Yeah.
And when you were in a lot of harms and you don't even have, Joey offers you don't want to fly, you can always burrow up from the stage and be the gopher. He imitates a gopher, and Jesse just glares at him. He question the gopher, Oh, there's a real tough image, Joey counters, ask any Gardner who he fears the most. And if you remember back to the movie Caddie Shack, you know, and then he begins a Carl Spackler impression. Yes, a Carl Spackler slash Bill Murray, Bill Murray. Yeah.
Yeah, he did the voice for Ghostbusters and stuff. Right, Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right, he did.
He's very good at it, very good at I mean.
And to be fair, if I would have gone with a naked mole rat, if we're going for burrowing creatures, terrifying, really terrifying. Yeah, so if you're gonna find then a gopher, well, have you ever seen a naked mole rat?
I haven't. No, Well you're gonna have to google that.
I'm afraid they're blind, they got weird teeth, they do they wreck your lawn, That's what I want to know, because we got you know, I don't. Yeah, but they're like, you know, they're they're moles. They did they destroy Okay, I'm gonna be weirdly terrifying. I feel like I'm gonna regret googling naked mole rat, but I'm going to as soon as we're done here. Uh so, Jesse laughs, He shakes his head.
This whole thing was just a big mistake. I'm going back to being Jesse and the Rippers. I'm gonna find.
Some like the band that you were when you had a tour two weeks ago.
Right there was this was like, did the Rippers have any input into this vulture transition?
Like this is just no, No, it's not a democracy.
They've learned.
They've learn Jesse and the Rippers right, and we've seen the Rippers are replaceable. They cycle in and out, so cycle in and out.
Yep uh, He says, I'm gonna just find some record company out there who wants me for me, Joey suggests, and if not, you can always make a living plain Peter Pan. Jesse gives him a death stare and holds up a finger before lunging at him. Joey quickly runs away, and Jesse can't catch him because of his sore limbs. Did somebody just put it? Yes, it's a picture.
Rachel just posted a picture of a naked mole rat.
I can't look Yeah, look at it.
I can't, it says potentially it says potential security issue detected. No, it's fine, it'll give you a virus on your computer. But it's totally worth it, totally worth that.
Okay, how do.
I I told you it looks like a body part.
Yeah, it does.
It like if it had teeth and like a nose.
And that's really that is just want Yeah, okay. Well we're also known as a sand puppy. Yeah, that's just okay. I that's so gross. I don't know whether say thank you or to hate you for that, but that.
Was I'm just saying, if you're going for scary ground dwelling things, that or a gopher, gophers are cute compared to that.
Yeah, oh yeah, they're just yeah. Okay, naked roll map mole rat that is the that is.
Naked roll mat. A naked roll mat is some sort of hot yoga I think. Yeah, I feel delirious.
Okay, moving right along. We're in the living room. Michelle is sitting in a chair holding a cup of wild flowers when the doorbell rings. She looks at her dad, who is leisurely walking down the stairs, and says, my teacher is here. Hurry up. He approaches Michelle, who gives him the cup of flowers to seal the deal. She reminds him that women love flowers. Danny takes a cup and admits that's very sweet of her. He begins to walk toward the door, but Michelle shouts wait a minute.
She waves him back over and adjusts his hair. After she's done, she looks him over and says, you look very handsome. Danny's a bit confused as he says, well, thank you very much. As he makes his way over to the door again, Michelle advises be nice and don't talk about yourself. Danny is immediately I do not talk about myself, and then he pauses and admits, okay, well maybe I do, but that's because when I was five I didn't really have any friends.
Michelle a very bob moment too, such a well, I mean it's sort of a thing, and you're like, oh.
Boy, here we go. That's such a bob thing. Michelle cuts some offenses Daddy because he's proving her point, and so he sighs, Okay, you're right, I'll do my best. Danny opens the door and Miss Wiltrout appears wearing a royal blue suit jacket with a humong his shoulder pads, and a skirt to match. Quite the outfit.
This is she dresses up for lunch at her student's house, which, you know. I don't know what's in this for Miss Wiltrout. Maybe she's just really excited for someone to make her lunch. But maybe she's just being night. Maybe she's a people pleaser.
I don't know. Why didn't she agree to this? I don't know. Maybe she has a crush on Danny. Maybe it's maybe you know what I mean, like maybe she was like, oh, okay, hey, I'll go for it, and then.
Dan She's like, wow, no, God, of course not, that's so weird.
Yeah, poor miss Wiltrout. She shakes Danny's hand and says hello to Michelle, and Michelle gives her a little wave in response. Then Danny hands over the cup of flowers and Miss Wiltrout gasps. Dandy lyons my favorite. Michelle chimes in, Daddy is the nicest man in the whole world. Danny gushes, Oh, some people may think I'm the cleanest. In fact, in high school I founded the FJA Future Janitors of America.
Michelle loudly clears her throat to send a signal, and Danny gets the hint and pivots, well, enough about me, why don't we go eat some lunch. Michelle runs in between the adults and grabs each of their hands before leading them to the kitchen. Then she stops abruptly and connects Danny and missus Wiltrout's hands together. She runs in front of them and says, this way, please, wouldn't this be the red flag moment? Right here? I was just say.
Nobody was like, why we want Michelle? Yeah? So they continue holding hands as they follow Michelle into the kitchen, like this is where I'd be like, let's stop for a minute and have a conversation.
Okay, yeah, what's happening, Michelle go on through her little mind. There Michelle, so in the kitchen, then the show would be six minutes too.
Short, right, we have to fill all twenty two minutes. So Danny notices that Michelle has set the kitchen table all by herself. Miss Wiltrout admits it looks very pretty, and then Michelle proceeds to set down half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on each of their plates. She sadly admits there's no candles because I can't play with matches. They laugh and Danny pulls out Miss Wiltrout's seat for her. Michelle boasts isn't he a gentleman and Miss Wiltrout nods yes. He gets a gold star for
good manners. Danny realizes that Michelle also made lunch all by herself. She nods and tells them their lunch menu. We have peanut butter and jelly and milk. Danny points out that there's only one glass of milk for them, and Michelle grins as she pulls two straws out of her pocket and places them in the glass. I know, She says, now you can share. Have a nice lunch, and she begins to walk away. Danny asks, aren't you going to eat with us? And Michelle insists you need
to be alone. Then she presses play on her kiddie radio and gives her dad an okay signal with her hands. Danny and missus Wiltrout glance at each other in shock. Danny frantically runs to turn off the music and awkwardly admits, does she sure wit to a lot of trouble for this mystery? What could possibly be happening. What is happening? Miss Wiltrout responds, you know, she's doing really well in school. You don't need to suck up like this. Danny insists,
we Tanners are not suck ups. Goodie two shoes maybe, but not suck ups. Miss will Trout suggests maybe she just wants us to be very good friends. Danny shrugs, I guess, and then he gestures to the food and says bone appetite on cue. Michelle peeks her head through the door and asks, are you in love yet? Ah? There it is. Danny begins choking on his food at
the sound of this. Miss will Trout springs into action to help, and once he's okay, she pats him on the head and calls him a good boy with putting his arms in the air. Was that put your arms up? I'm like, does that actually do anything? We're we just doing? I don't know. Does that open up the I don't know this, sophig I don't know, but I don't know. I've never actually tried them. So Danny is in a disbelief we're just friends. So Michelle suggests, then you better
start kissing. Danny's eyes widen further your teacher and I are not going to kiss and we're not going to fall in love. He learned that lesson before. Michelle pau now kissing teachers does not know. Oh, not a good idea, Danny. Michelle is pouting now I'll never get a new mommy, and she sadly walks away. Danny apologizes to Miss Wiltrout, admitting he had no idea. This is what Michelle had in mind. He excuses himself so he can go talk to her, and Miss Wiltrout is very understanding. As Danny
hurries away, Miss Wiltrout sighs at the heartbreaking situation. Oh, I'm supprised she's.
Just because she was like, yeah, goes my shot there. You know.
She's like, I don't get a nice lunch anymore. I don't get my chance. Danny Tanner.
Yeah.
Up in Michelle's room, Michelle is slumped on her bed when Danny knocks on the door. She sadly says come in, and Danny enters. He takes a seat in front of her and says, I think we have to talk, and Michelle agrees, I think we'd better. He sighs, I'm sorry you went to so much trouble today, and Michelle admits I wish I had a mommy. Danny tells her, I know you don't remember, but you had a wonderful mommy
and she loved you very very much. Michelle frowns, it's not fair all the other kids have mommies, and Danny responds, I know it may seem like everybody else has a mommy, but the truth is some people just have a mommy, or they just have a daddy, or a grandma or a grandpa, or an aunt and uncle. There's all different kinds of families, and Michelle asks, really, and Danny nods. What makes a family is when you have people who take care of one another and love each other. You
have a very special family. Danny names all of the special family members Michelle has and she giggles, I bet nobody in school has a Joey. Danny laughs and tells her that's a pretty safe bet. He admits that in a way, Michelle and her sisters are pretty lucky because they have four people who love them very very much. Michelle grins, I love you very very much. She gives her dad a big hug and he kisses her on
the cheek, telling Michelle that he loves her too. Then he picks her up and says, come on, let's go have lunch with your teacher. But Michelle wonders, will I ever get a new mommy? Danny smiles, well, I hope, so, she smirks, have you met the school nurse? She's very hot? Danny's interest is piqued. Yes, the five year old? Really? How hot is she? What color hair does she have? Michelle exclaims hot, pink, And that's our show.
Like this was going so well, This was going so well, going so well. On the plane and Michelle starts talking about how hot the nurse is.
Right, I'm just like, gosh.
No, But I will say this scene, though, is so oh so sweet. I can't tell you how many people have told me that this episode really made an impact on them, that like they were growing up in a house that was an alternative family or was you know, a LGBTQ family or whatever. Yeah, and so it didn't look like what they everyone thought it was supposed to.
And how this episode and the Tanner family and the fact that they were very clear that a family is about a group of people that love each other, whether or not they're blood related, you know, right, And I love that I had that because that was always the biggest message of full houses, like as long as you love.
Each other, you get you know, your family. This was revolutionary in nineteen ninety one and a lot of people could relate to that because they're like, my family doesn't look like the traditional mom and a dad or twenty five kids. Most families, A lot of families don't look like that at all, So like this was, yeah, this was a great message and why so many people loved the Tanners. Yeah, you know, they didn't look like other sitcom families, but they loved each other so much. Yeah, yeah,
I love Yeah. Besides the last few lines, I love this scene, right, so very very cute, great lesson.
Yeah yeah, so yeah that was that was That was a cute one. I liked this and yeah it was. There was you know, kind of a little sad moment when she's like I need a mommy.
Yeah, yeah, no, that was. This was a great storyline. It was age appropriate for Michelle to be wondering how does love work? How does right?
You just should lunch and things go well and then you're in love, right, right, that's five year old for you.
That's that. They just break it down as simple as possible. That's it.
So yeah, that was sweet. I felt like there were a few too many storylines a B in a C storyline.
I'm like this, this is a little too much. So yeah, it did feel like a lot was going on. There was a lot going on, So I wish they had just I don't know.
We had a shadows seeing the mom, we had Vulture.
We had Kimmy, DJ and DJ. Yeah, so there was there was a lot there and that's I wish Again I said this earlier, but I wish DJ and Kimmy. I wish we had I'd gotten more of a chance to act like DJ and there would have been more funny bits in there. But that's what I feel like.
Vulture could have been another movie, different episode. Yeah, I agree, then we might have had more Vulture, And I don't know that anyone needed that.
That was one scene was enough. One scene of Vulture was plenty. Uh. Yeah, that was quite the production for a for a B or C storyline. They had a lot of special effects, put a lot of money out of that, so that was it was quite a bit.
Vulture was no no cheap gig, no at all.
Yeah, so do you have any uh? Did you have any everywhere you look?
So I was looking in the audience and I didn't have no an audio for the smash club, and I didn't see anybody. Weren't going to be extras in the smash club the Vulture, right, our moms with like just black makeup on and like rock and roll leather jackets.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't see that. No, I didn't notice. I thought. At one point I.
Saw my Mark Sandrowski as Jesse's POV. He was flying over the audience. Oh yeah, saw Mark Sandrowski kind of working the the little DJ booth or what of the music the booth?
But maybe not. It was so quick I couldn't really tell. But I don't know. I don't think that.
I don't think he would have been working the sound booth because on a day when you have extras, your second ad is the one that's.
He's ranked right, right, So maybe that wasn't him. Now, even Michelle's classroom when the moms come in, I didn't recognize any of these people. I didn't either. I didn't either, So I I am everywhere you look less tonight. Okay, yeah, me too. I didn't. Uh, there's there's nothing nothing there. No, does the fan Auritos have any everywhere he looks if you've noticed anything? I didn't know.
Ye I didn't notice anything on the wall that change, you know, none of that. Yep.
But there was a lot going on.
There were a lot of storylines, storyline There was a lot going on. We had people flying, we had vultures, we had rompers, had like where's Waldo, Danny make it out with another teacher or trying to or what have you?
You know, Danny.
But no, this was a really cute episode and I love, love, love this message because it really gets to the heart of what full House was about. So, yeah, it's too loved it, loved it. Yeah, And so a next episode is season five, episode three, Take my Sister Please.
I can't remember what that one is, but you is that who wants to get rid of?
Who?
Do you want to get rid of? Michelle? Or does want to get ridybody? Answer rid of me?
Because that's usually the middle child's middle child. Yeah, we'll see you find out next time on how rude Sanato's So stay tuned, fan of Ritos and make sure that you were liking and subscribing to the podcast wherever you're listening to it so that you can get those new episodes like take My Sister Please, you can get them as soon as.
They come out. And uh and we.
Love you guys, thank you so much for all of the amazing comments and questions and all.
The stuff that we get.
If you want to follow us on Instagram, you can find us at how Red podcast, or you can send us an email at how Rude Tana Rito's at gmail dot com.
Uh. And you can also.
Check out our merch store haard merch dot com. We've got some fun shirts on there, and I don't, I don't. We don't have the special edition ones anymore.
No, we don't have them. We don't have the new ones up yet. But we don't have the new ones up. You'll add the egg beater ad Yeah, the egg beater in your pants? I mean, don't actually add an egg beater to your pants. That sounds uncomfortable anyway. Yeah, head over to the mert shop and check it out. Uh. And that's it.
And in the meantime, you guys, remember the world is small, but the house and your pants are full of egg beaters. Yeah, so many egg beaters.
Beat off the competition.
Okay, yeah, yeah, that's what you do with them. Yeah, that's just everyone everyone. That's what they're ford beating off the competition in worlder deby duh.
Should be the tagline for this.
Shown a fash