"Cutting It Close" Recap Season 2 Episode 1

Judy Sweeten, Andrea Barbera.

I was wondering who was going to start it, you or me.

Well, it's almost like a vocal warm up, you know, it really is.

And what I find is sometimes I should do a vocal warm up before the vocal warm up because I try and go for a little nah, and it just.

It's not happening.

You're going through puberty.

Yeah, And it's with the rain and everything today and the Yeah, it's just it's a lot. It's a lot of the holidays.

Everything may agoraphobia is in full effect. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave the house and deal with the traffic. The holiday traffic.

Was I was at the mall yesterday. It wasn't too terrible. It wasn't too terrible.

Yeah, no, I'm impressed you went. I won't go within a three mile radius.

Well it's middle of the day on like Monday. Well, yeah, it was Monday, so yeah, it definitely was good.

Uh oh yeah.

And this, well, this episode's airing after all this, so nobody cares. Nobody cares what we were doing over.

The holidays weeks ago. We've moved back.

In fact, no one wants to hear us mention the holidays, they're so over it.

We're a week into January now.

They're like, please, let us just not think about that until the end of next year. I should say right now how many days are left till Christmas?

But no, no, no, I.

Wouldn't do I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do it because I don't I would feel bad.

That's yeah, Well, the stores have already moved on to probably Saint Patrick's Day at this point, right right.

It's they've got uh it's bathing suit season now, so all of the bikinis are out. You better get him now before they go on sale in February. So, oh dear it just actually the kids ask me, uh Be asked me. She was like, doesn't it just feel like like it's only been like two years, Like it doesn't feel like we're heading into twenty twenty four. She's like, it's true that time really goes faster the older you get. And I just wanted to look at her and be like,

Age, no clue no, it's so true. It goes way too fast, and then you forget. You forget things at a fast rate as.

Well, and I forget things already, so I don't need any help forgetting. But one thing I have not forgotten is that we are now in season two.

I'm blown away that we made it through season one and so I didn't screw up too badly yet.

I'm in only the outros, only the outros, and that's pretty good. It's like I can hold it together just long enough to get to the end, and then my brain just goes whoa.

Like I'm done right, but your brain is on hiatus.

I can't believe we're into the second season already. I gotta say, though, how did you feel about the ending of season one? Maybe I'm just too used to like modern television and how like you have to make people be like, oh my god, what's going to happen in order to come back for the next season. And I feel like it used to be a little more like you could just have a show and it would be done, and then you'd wait, and you'd wait till it came back, or you'd see the next one.

I just wondered how you.

Felt like we left things season one of Full House like, was it, Oh my god, I've got to come back and see what the Tanners are doing?

No?

I mean, I love the season overall, but as far as that final episode, it didn't really feel like a final episode for a season. I almost feel like the season should have ended with the seven Month Itch Part two, because that was definitely right that Jesse come back or not.

I wonder if they maybe wanted it to be, if maybe that was what they wanted to I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know, Yeah, but it did.

It did. I was like, Oh, I like, what's the thing that keeps you coming back? But I guess, like.

I said, it's also where we've sort of become jaded in our television watching, like now we expect, we expect the cliffhanger, the cliffhanger something to you know, because you it's just competing for your attention. But but overall, I thought season one was great. I love watching sort of where everyone has wound up and seeing where we're going now.

Yeah, and it's it's so cool to see how much we've all aged in this. It was what like a five month hiatus between seasons.

Usually so usually it wasn't that.

Usually it was like three months, I think because we worked like nine eight, like eight and a half nine months out of the year, and then it was like we'd have kind of usually like April through like like July off. Well, I think we would usually come back

Yeah, I remember that.

But yes, we had hiatus hair.

It was because by the end the last episode of season one, those men needed a haircut, all of them. I can see they it was it was long, it was a lot. It was to Gabes, was longer than I've ever seen it the whole season.

Yes, well that's the thing.

Had very mill Gibson. Uh uh, what's that movie? The eighties cop?

What like that? Just that hair?

Oh not die Hard? No, what is it now?

The other?

Yeah, but anyway, it's the melody of the hair.

It was a really it was. It was Dave really was rocking some hair.

He had quite a large mullet, quite a large mullet. And and it's it's this is very timely because it's time for Jesse to get rid of the mullet.

To get rid of the mullet.

And this this is actually one of my favorite episodes.

I love this episode.

I forgot it was the season two opener for the reason I thought it came in season one, Like I kept expecting it in season one. I thought it was tied in with when Jesse leaves. I thought it had to do with the haircut in the arm and then he broke his arm when he was out there.

What I'm mad?

Right, he was feelings so right right right in it.

Out on the road and yeah again Jesse and his feeling just just feeling Jesse and his feelings are having problems, and now he broke his arms.

Yeah, that's what you get for taking it out A.

Well, I'm getting ahead of myself, so we haven't. We're let's set it up blowing surprises.

But spoiler alert thirty six years later, right, yeah.

As Jesse cuts his hair and and breaks his arms. But yeah, let's get let's get into our official let's official two.

Yeah.

I don't need to be screwing it up from the time.

I'm not screaming. I don't screw up my intro. Okay, because you can screw up your outro, but.

I am not going to Oh right now, those are big words. Right now.

Then them's fighting words, and that's what I'm saying. I'm not going to screw it up today.

Okay. Forty five minutes from now, we're going to find out that it's going to come true or not. Oh boy, Welcome back to how Rude Tannerito's I'm Andrea Barber and I'm Jody Sweeten, and today we are discussing season two, episode one, called Cutting It Close. It originally aired on October fourteenth, nineteen eighty eight, and it goes a little something like this, Stephanie forces Jesse to play beauty parlor with her, and she accidentally cuts off a hunk of his hair, so he is forced to go to his

The hair, not the hair, not the hair.

Hunh. This episode was directed by Joels Wick and it was written by none other than Jeff Franklin. We have one guest star this week, Charlie Spradlean as Ronda, and she has had some guest appearances in David Lynch's Wild at Heart also Twin Peaks, and she was a B movie horror star in films like puppet Master two and Meridian, Kiss of the Beast.

Ooh yeah, all right, didn't I even mention puppet Master in the show we did with Dave?

Oh did? Yeah?

I think you did.

It's weird, spooky, spooky and also, uh, another woman with an a name.

Ronda. Oh geez, that's okay. We're gonna we gotta ask Jeff about this. He's gonna be on the show in a few weeks, so this is definitely timely. Yes, okay, so we open, we have our first cold open.

We have our first teaser, but we have a teaser, but which right?

Which now I believe they call cold opens, but back then we call them teasers. But what's up with this weird little graphic thing that pops in?

Yeah?

And I was it was like startling.

It was startling. It was like it was like a yeah, like a not almost like a cartoonish graphic of the bridge and the the full house logo. And I think that's because we're starting we're starting to do teasers cold opens now, so it's like, Okay, this is a house, here's your cold open. The opening credits.

Shows always I felt like that wasn't a thing that shows did, but they started doing them, and that was I don't know.

Ye, I don't the graph it was it was weird.

I wasn't quite sure, but it felt super nostalgic, and it felt like something that I designed in my seventh grade computer science class, where you like learned on floppy discs how to like write basic code on those right on those like those gigantic monitors with like the little green doss you know thing.

Yeah, yeah, that's basically what that cold open that's.

That's that's what that is is exactly super.

Pixelated height of technology.

It's very eighties. It's very eighties. But yeah, so this is the start of cold opens, which is this is okay, So a cold open or a teaser is just a short little scene that sometimes has to do with the episode but oftentimes doesn't. It's just it's literally a teaser. It teases you know, these are our characters. This is a fun way to get the audience engaged before we roll the opening credits. Yeah, so this cold open opens with Joey holding Michelle, who is visibly older at this point.

Like she's definitely oh my gosh, a.

Lot more teeth, a lot more teeth, yeah, a.

Lot more teeth. Yeah.

So Joey says she's ready this time, and he summons the entire family into the living room. There is this sense of urgency. He announces that Michelle is going to try again, and everyone groans. Steph tells him she's just gonna do it to us again, and Joey assures them that Michelle is psyched. Jesse agrees that they can give the little ankle biter one more try. We don't know what this thing is. But that's the teaser part of

Very dark history. Really, do you know what it is about?

No, it's about the black plag It's about the plague.

Ring around, yeah, yeah, ring around the rosy. Pocket full of posy you would put posey was a type of flower in your like in your pocket. They thought it wore it would ward away. Uh, the black plag and ring around the rosy you would get like rosy cheeks, but you could get these little rings around certain things and then pocket philloposy ashes ashes. We all fall down because everyone was dying.

What how did you know? Of course you know that.

I don't know why or how I knew it or what it's that's horrifying. Yeah, but it's a song, right, well, I mean, you know the you got the baby in the tree song.

We got the ring around the rosy song.

Why are these why are they teaching this in nursery school? Like, why is it the thing very that's dark and dark? Wow?

Okay, well this is this has started in something. She was like, look, I'm not trying to kill you guys off, just say wow.

Okay. So this took a turn, but that leads us into these slightly new opening credits. Wooo okay, so most of these opening credits are the same as season one, but the kids, you guys.

Haven't always got updated every ones every year because we change.

Because you changed so much. That's right, You grow your taller, your hair is different, your tanner, the tanner. So Candae has showing off a cool sweater. Jody, you're walking out the front door with your backpack, lunch pail, and Mary, Kate and Ashley finally have their opening title card. I'm very excited for them of one of them in a

To give away the hair hair so that's true. So it might be all new opening credits for season two.

We'll see you know, because Jesse Jesse still has the mullet in this in this opening credit, So stay tuned. So we uh, we opened, well, we we've already opened the show. We continue the show in Jesse's room, where Jesse is working on some new rock star moves. Stephanie walks in, sporting a smock and she turns off his amp. Jesse hops back over to her and says, first roll of rock and roll. Never cut a guy's power off when he's duck walking. Yeah, did you know this duck walking? I've never heard.

Yeah, it was like a rock and roll thing.

I I feel like it was a sort of a van Halen esque like of the you know, eighties hair band, and it was a thing. But I think it started even earlier than that, Like you know, Scot like Chuck Berry probably was duck walking.

I don't know.

It looks very uh, it looks very.

Weird and rather uncomfortable.

It's very awkward. I mean, John's forming it well, but it's it's still yeah, just it doesn't.

I actually wrote down I was like, did cool people ever duck walk? But yeah, I'm gonna go with no.

But yeah, yeah.

And now and now, duck walking is more of like a drag show thing, and it's more voguing and you're down on the ground, and it has nothing to do with playing guitar or doing any sort of movement like that, So.

Nothing to do with ducks.

I would say the drag show duck walking would give you more of an impression of a duck because you're sort of crouched down.

While doing it. But guitar duck walking is very odd, very odd.

Anyways, Okay, moving on, but.

But we know the rule now, which is never cut a guy's power off when he's duck walking, right, okay, rule number one.

That's a rule to live by. Okay, right, So Stephanie apologizes, but she informs Jesse that he's late for his haircut appointment with mister Stephanie. Ooh, but Jesse doesn't want to play Yeah, very gender forward here, Yeah, yes, mister Stephanie. This is great. So Jesse doesn't want to play beauty parlor, but stephan he insists, yes he does. Here we go, I love this. They go back and forth. No he doesn't, Yes he does, and steph of course, cries.

Yes, he does it wins every time.

I like this bit, I enjoy it. I'm glad they brought it back for season two. Yep, Jesse tells her, you're six years old, you're in first grade. This fine, This phony crying routine and lip motif doesn't work anymore. She admits I knew this would happen someday. She walks over to the door and slumps down, giving him a big fake sigh. Jesse caves so dramatic ans. Jesse caves immediately, asking why am I such a sucker? Steph responds, because you love me, and Jesse agrees. Stephanie drags him into

Very fabulous, fabulous the sus voice you prefer to say it.

Jesse laughs at him, but Joey assures him that Stephanie isn't finished yet. Steph fake blow dries his hair and announces, thank goodness you came to me when you did. If you don't look good, I don't look good.

I mean, it's true that we saw for the end of season one hair it was. Yeah, it needed some.

Work, it needed some work. Yes, Joey advises her, You're gonna need a what weed whacker for that bush, pointing to Jesse's hair, and John clearly is wearing a wig in this scene.

I wrote down.

I wrote down that the real that the mullet wig was worse than the real mullet, and that is saying something.

That is I don't know how it can get worse than the real mullet.

But well, I also think, you know, wig technology was not what it is today, and so it was John had short hair and then they just put long hair over it, you know.

Matter it's kind of like sticking out in the bag. I swear it changes lengths throughout this It.

Does scene, and for sure does. Yeah.

At times I was like, wow, that's long, and then I was like, what's not long? And then it was like like shoulder length.

You know, there was no continuity with this week, that's for sure. Hey, it was the eighties. So Stephanie reveals a giant pair of scissors, which scares Jesse away.

Edward scissorhands right, Jesse says, those are real scissors.

Isn't this a pretend haircut? Stephanie tells him yes, but Jesse insists that she needs pretend scissors. Steph looks at her watch and tells him, mister, Stephanie does have other appointments, so they got to get a move on.

Seriously.

Jesse obliges, telling her to be very careful because, as we know, no one really cuts his hair except for Alejandro.

Oh, the Great and fabulous Alejandro.

So Stephanie starts to make small talk with her client, asking have you heard who Miss Piggy's been dating lately? Joey asks if he's able to watch the girls tonight because he wants to try his Roger Rabbit impression at the laugh machine. Jesse rolls his eyes, emphasizing, hey, it is Saturday night. Joey turns on the Roger Rabbit voice and begs, Oh, come on, Jess, please, I'm not doing that impressions. As Joey's doing his impressions, Stephanie is laughing.

I remember that because I remember having to like have the scissors at the wig, and it was like, don't cut it before we're you know, because once you cut it, that's you cut the wig.

And uh, yeah, I do remember.

And I also was like, don't cut my fingers because I had to be like looking away when I did it.

Yeah, that was a lot of coordination for you.

Oh my digit survived and uh and the joke worked.

And John's head survived.

All of this had survived. No one, Yeah worked.

Yeah, No, that is because you practice in rehearsal. You don't actually cut the hair in rehearsal, and so you have to wait until they actually roll roll cameras.

Yeah, you can't be buying wigs.

We were on a budget and we're only in so many wigs, so that was pretty obvious with that. So Stephanie says oops out loud, and Jesse's trying to figure out what happened. Dan.

Never a sound you want to hear when someone's giving you a haircut.

Never, Oops. It's the worst thing to say. Danny walks in with DJ and tells everyone breakfast is ready. We're having pan cuts instead of pancakes. DJ gasps, telling steph I can't believe you did that. Jesse questions steph as she pulls out a huge, long chunk of his hair, and Jesse whimpers.

Pulled out a small animal off his head. Again, it was so not again it grew. It's like it's six inches in my hand. I was like, where did all of that hair come from?

Yeah, it was not the same hair that you cut off hair.

It was a whole other wig in my hand was what it was.

Uh. So Stephanie pleads have mercy. Jesse is upset. He runs out, and DJ says again, I can't believe you did that.

I've spoken like a true sibling.

Oh yeah, she's she's not letting you live it down.

You're wrong. So you did a bad Yeah.

So we cut to the bathroom where Jesse is examining his hair with two handheld mirrors, looking horrified. Danny tries to assure him that it's just hair, but Jesse snaps back, telling Danny, your hair is just hair. My hair is in her hand. Oh. DJ repeats to Stephanie, I can't believe you did that. Jesse snatches his hair back from Stephanie, saying Alejandro may be able to sew it back on Danny yells after him, would you like me to pack

And for those of you that don't know who are too young, Eric Estrada was on a show called Chips and was known for having also fabulous hair.

He did have fabulous hair. That's right, that's how that hurts me that some of our listeners don't know who Eric Astrata is. You're right though, it's a lot of our listeners probably don't know who Eric e Strada is everybody, nor have they.

Ever seen a landline so you know, let's or anything in the in the nineteenth century.

So yeah, so my poor heart here. Okay, So Stephanie tells Jesse she's sorry and he snaps back, so am I oh. DJ tells Steph again, I can't believe you did that, and Stephanie finally yells back, I can't believe you're still saying that. Seriously enough, just rubbing it in, DJ, come on. So back in Stephanie's room, Steph is packing up all of her toys, telling her dad that she's punishing herself. She tells her toys I'm sorry. I don't deserve to play with you anymore. She hands her doll

You know, I didn't remember Steph being this much of a martyr. First of all. Oh, I was like, girl, come.

On, she's she feels terrible. She is, right, she is, like, I'm the worst person ever.

Yep.

Yeah, but also still not mister Bear.

This would have been a great mister Bear moment. Where's mister Bear?

Where's mister Bear? Instead, we have this weird, creepy Small Wonder looking doll.

Yes, yes, it.

Is a very creepy looking doll, right, same red dress.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's actually it is the person from Small Wonder. Just they've they've spent their hiatus on the bookshelf.

They miniaturized her, yes, exactly. It inserted her into full house. So Danny tells Stephanie she doesn't need to do this, and Stephanie responds, yes I do. I'm too dumb to have toys. Oh my god, that's really taking this hard right. She walks over to her bed, deciding to add on to her punishment, telling Danny, I don't deserve pillows or blankets or sheets too, and she just strips her bed.

Completely, not even a mattress cover.

No. Danny tries consoling her, saying, Uncle Jesse knows that she didn't do this on purpose, so there's no reason for her to feel bad. Danny tells her to come downstairs and eat some breakfast. She tells him, I can't leave my room. I've grounded myself until I'm eighty two.

I'm technically still grounded.

You're still grounded right now. You've got forty more.

Years to go, forty more years ago. You know what, I'll take it down.

You've been in that little room right there for just.

Sitting right there, not even a sheet, for forty years.

Danny responds, you are not grounded. I am your father, and I'm ordering you to play with your toys. Steph gives him the dollback, saying, please don't make me have fun.

He tells her, doll that's definitely got some poor child sold.

No, there's no fun to be had with this creepy doll, that's for sure. So Danny tells her that one day, when she's a parent, she'll understand. He hands the doll back to her, cheerfully, telling her to have fun. Stephanie pretends to play with the doll for a few seconds and then sighs sarcastically, saying, hot dog, Hmm, she's not gonna she's not gonna have fun.

She's she's just not having fun, not having fun, and also bringing it back to the hot dogs.

So it was oh love that we cut to the living room where Danny is reading the paper as he's continuously telling Michelle don't do that. As she's slowly pushing the magazines off the table. Danny tells her that now they have to play a game called Let's clean up our mess, see Danny. They're they're bringing back Danny and his uh cleanliness.

This feels like an introduction really onto Danny as a clean freak, Like what's happened between season one and season two that Danny is now having this like reactionary anxiety cleaning, you know what I mean?

Right?

Yeah, we got hints of it in season one, but now it's fun.

But now this episode he's dustbusting, the vacuum, he's organized, he's alphabetizing magazines. Feels a little like maybe this might be how he's dealing with some things and it's becoming a little He's been wound a little tight.

Danny's got feelings and he's taking it out on the organization of house.

Right, and not to mention the fact that there are toys that are obviously on the stairs which are a hazard. But y, yeah, like turned upside down. But we have alphabetized people magazine, you know what I mean?

Like that to me, I was like, your priorities need to be switched around, Sir Danny's priorities.

Oh, yeah, it is something. So Michelle helps him put the magazines back on the coffee table in order, and Danny applauds her. Joey butts in, telling Danny not to turn this sweet, innocent girl into a compulsive, neurotic nutcase like him. Joey picks Michelle up, telling her it's time for a nap. He sarcastically mentions, when you're sleeping, don't wrinkle your pajamas.

She was not happy when she got picked up. You know, she didn't believe. They were very much not happy it.

Which is true. Kid wants to take a nap. No, that's true, and now I live for naps. But when you're a kid na right now, go ahead, we'll wait, so DJ is Steph walk in. The girls say that they're done with the dishes. Dj tells her dad exactly how she stacked the dishes, which sounds a lot like the way he organizes the magazines.

Again, Danny is all of a sudden like everything has to be in size alphabetical order.

Oh, he's hardcore. Danny salutes them, telling them good work. Stephanie tells her dad, I've really tried hard to have fun. Now can I please go back to being sad? Danny tells me that's very emo.

She's like, so she Yeah, she's gonna be a big like my chemical romance.

Yeah.

Fan and in like twenty years the guilty the hairli I was gonna have Like she'd be like, yes, I'm so email.

Yeah, this is the start of it.

Yep.

So Danny tells her she's been too hard on herself. It was just a little chunk of Uncle Jesse's hair. Right then, the doorbell rings and Danny tells Steph it wasn't even a chunk of hair. It was a chunk. At When Dj answers the door, a hot nurse is there to help Jesse into the house.

Of course, where did this woman come from.

I don't know, does she seems like a concierge service, Like is he wearing a helmet?

I have so many questions.

So many questions.

It's so many things that I.

Yes, they're clearly setting up for this and the Joe cast to work.

So there's the joke cast of work.

The joke, right, So Jesse has casts all over his arms, which sticking straight out like Frankenstein, and he's wearing his motorcycle helmet. Like you pointed out, what did.

He break in order to have that be the remedy for it?

Yeah, it's like a full like a full body cast from the waist, like is it right?

What what did you break? And how are you just walking in the house if that was the case?

Yeah? No, yeah, no, he's like how much time in the spry?

He's awfully spry for having broken the entire upper half of his body.

Well nothing else, like his face is still perfect, like nothing else scratch on his face.

Was I'm starting to question Jesse's, uh, the.

Insurance practices here because you know, first he did it with bullet Oh yeah, gotten a car accident, car destroyed.

He's fine, he was. Now it's the motorcycle. I'm just saying, yeah, you get money for these destroyed vehicles? Is some insurance for all the Jesse s dreda pull. All of a sudden, he's like, you know what, I'm not going to be an exterminator anymore. My new gig.

This is saying that, you know what, I am here for this theory. I love it. Okay, So just insurance.

That's how he's getting his money is it's insurance fraud so that he can keep being an Elvis impersonator.

On the side, because that's what he wants to do.

That's what he really wants to do. So he's like, I'm just gonna start crashing things.

Right, yeah, got it. That's why he's so obsessive.

Have lost the mullet. Yeah, he's lost his identity here, got it?

This makes sense.

So Jesse, he's got to cut his hair because he's there onto him for the last fraud.

So he's got to look like somebody different, changing because I did not spittle this time, right, right. They're like, can't look like the same guy. Got to be different.

So he's wearing the helmet, right, So Jesse explains, well, thanks to mister Stephanie's pretend haircut. I was forced to get a real one, which I hate. I hopped on my Harley and raced out of the parking lot, failing to see the tiny sign that says severe tire damage. He tells everyone he wrecked his bike and now he has these concrete sleeves. Stephanie hears this and look devastated. The sad Violins take us to a very sad commercial break and when we returned, sadness. It's so much sadness.

As she writes number to hit on people. Hey are you do you need help? You wiping yourself? Yeah? Right, Like that's not sexy.

She needs to work on our game. Yes, I mean she didn't meet him in a hospital, so I'm just surprised he didn't flirt back like I was expecting him to be, Like, oh, I got concrete arms. Let's go make out. You know, nothing is stopped him before.

What's I mean? Couldn't even shake her hand? No?

Noah. So Joey walks up to her, trying to flirt by saying, well, if you need a sponge bath, well you look like a shower person. And there's a missed opportunity here, like the nur's his name is Ron.

Bro a sponge bath, no, no, well.

Yes, but the nurse's name is Ronda, and there's no help me Ronda joke, come on, like missed opportunity. I was waiting for it.

I feel like they're maybe they're I feel like there had to have been at some point.

Well maybe he says, thank you, Ron, thank you for helping me Ronda. But it's not like it's not delivered like a joke. It's not written like a joke, it's not set up like a joke. And I'm like, this is a same You got to set up a joke.

Yeah, maybe it was just a joke that didn't go over well didn't land.

Maybe it got cut in the edit.

Yeah, yeah, because that is the Yeah, thanks for helping me, Ronda.

I think that that is that's that qualifies a joke.

Okay, that is the joke.

That a very funny one.

Okay, Okay. So Jesse is wondering what he is going to do for the next six weeks with two broken arms, Joey tells him, I think you can scratch bowling off the list. DJ adds, I think you can scratch scratching off the list. Seriously. Stephanie apologizes again, saying it's all her fault. Danny comforts her, saying, well, it's not all

And including all of the eighties. All of the eighties were shocked, all of the eighties, all of the eighties. Was like, the bullet's out.

Now, the bullet is out. But he looks so much better, Like this is a massive improvement, so much better.

I felt so much better.

Actual relief. Yes, right, I was like, oh my god, yeah, the better haircut. Yeah, no, it's it's a huge improvement.

But people like the audience like kind of laughed. I was like, I didn't.

I mean, I guess they laughed just because it was Jesse his beloved hair was now.

Maybe yeah, I was trying to hear it. Do they think it was a joke? Like? And that's why I think it was just more like they stunned.

Well, because everyone knows I think the attachment to Jesse's hair. I don't necessarily think it was the haircut itself.

That was not the hair hunt.

Although Joey does say he looked like pee wee Van Herman.

Oh, that's true. That's true. And Stephanie says, I think you look very handsome.

Oh yeah.

So John obviously cut his hair over this hiatus. Do we know why we should have asked him this on when he was here? Well, I ask him.

My only question would be why not sooner?

Yeah?

You know what I mean? Like that? Yeah, how did you get there in the first place?

What was wrong?

No? I love you John, that hair a lot.

Yeah. I don't know what prompted the haircut.

I'm just it was just it was just time.

It was time for a change.

Time. Yeah.

So DJ hugs Jesse, saying she's glad he's okay. Steph comes up to him, saying she's happy he's ok k two, and she grabs his concrete arm and tries hugging it as he yelps in pain. Jesse scolds her, telling her to be a little more careful. He walks away, getting the door for himself and announcing it takes more than some broken bones to slow down Big Jay.

Apparently, I'm what destroys Jesse. Car accidents, motorcycle accidents.

He just feelings that's what destroys connections. So Michelle starts crying off camera, and Jesse and Joey start up the stairs to go grab her. Joey stops him and asks was that a hungry cry or a wet cry. Danny confirms it's a hungry cry, and Joey says, well, in that case, I'll help you. Steph tells sorry. Dj tells Steph that they should go help uncle Jesse. Steph asks help him. I can't even hug him. She runs upstairs

He boats, making a comeback.

But the oat boats I love that they're like a recruiting character at this point.

Yes, they kind of a little uh.

I mean, it's not an official everywhere you look moment, but it's a it's kind of yeah.

No, I'm always looking for the box of oat boats in evidence in the kitchen, and this time it's a major part of this, this wonderful bit that we're about to watch here. So Jesse can't quite grab this because of his concrete arms. A DJ walks in and offers her help. Jesse says he's more than capable of making a simple bowl of cereal. What follows is another classic hysterical physical comedy bit by John in the kitchen.

He does so much of this great physical comedy, particularly in the kitchen. Always in the kitchen, I don't know, because it sets up good comedy.

It gives you time to get from a stupid moment.

Then you've got laugh beats as you're walking around the Highland the next Yeah, it's a he really he uses the space and the time of the joke really well.

He really does. We last saw this in the Knock Yourself Out episode where the girls are saying, don't forget the ice cream right, and he's piling all the food on top of himself. And he does it in fuller house too, where he sets the kitchen on fire. So yeah, Dawn is very good at funny physical comedy bits. In the kitchen, yes, he grabs a broom to knock the cereal onto the floor. He then grabs a meat fork to pick it up and brings the box to the

I would have given up with the bananas, you know what I mean. I would have been like, I don't need the bananas.

Right, you don't. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. But he's doing He's trying to make it a point that nothing has changed. Yes, so he shakes one banana off of the bunch. He places the cereal bowl on the chair and sticks the banana on the kitchen table, grabs a rolling pin and squeezes the banana or rolls the banana out of its peel directly into the cereal bowl. The audience is so impressed.

I was like, how is he gonna do this without like just yeah, I thought the banana was gonna go flying right.

Across the table. Me too, Quite a technique.

He I wonder how many times they had to shoot that because it's not easy to roll a banana out of his eyes.

No, I don't know, especially with your arms stuck in that position.

Yeah. So, Jesse grabs a long wooden spoon and tells Michelle it's time for him to enjoy his oat boats. Except when he tries to eat the cereal, he realizes he can't reach the spoon to his mouth. He even tries flicking the cereal towards him, but it just splashes everything on his face. Jesse resorts to sticking his entire head in the bowl and eating the cereal face down like.

A pig and a trough right just in there.

Danny re enters the room and looks at him concerned, and Jesse defensively asks, what's the matter. Never seen a grown man eat cereal before? And Danny admits, well, not like a great Dane.

Yeah, very much like a great Dane.

Danny encourages Jesse to let let them help him. Jesse groans, admitting defeat. Danny takes Michelle's bib off of her, saying I think your uncle needs this more than you do. He puts the bib on Jesse and starts to spoon feed him. This cues a musical montage.

He was a montage set to the song.

Yes, this is set to the song Help by somebody covering the Beatles.

I believe it's the It's probably the Rippers, probably like Griffin. Yeah, because Gary produced the all the music for the show. Oh yeah, so I would think that maybe or they covered a song too.

That's a great gut Maybe let's go with that. I think that's great the Rippers. So the Rippers are singing help. Sure, we see we see in this montage the family is helping Jesse brush his teeth, tucking him into bed, helping him get out of bed, shaving his face, putting a T shirt on, looking stamps, and spoon feeding him. And throughout all of this Jesse is not happy.

No, not loving it, not loving this.

We cut to DJ's room where DJ is strumming Jesse's guitar as he sings, but she is unable to get the tempo right. This is a great callback to uh but seriously Fox Bangles. Yeah, the Bengals where DJ is screwing up screwing up the Venus song too?

Yes or not? The Bengals.

The bracelets, the bracelets, Yes, right, we were yes, the bracelets.

And I and and I do see that Stacey Q has been very unceremoniously removed from.

Uh DJ's wall. So I don't know what Stacey Q did.

So she hit her off and she never got the autograph she got. Joey took her autograph away.

And right so she was like, I can't even bear to look at it anymore. I have to take this poster off my wall. Reminds me of of dark time in my life.

Right, so, the Bengals. The Bengals are back on the wall, just Stacey Q is out. Jesse explains this is music, and DJ hands the guitar to Stephanie, asking her to do it instead. DJ adds, all you do is mope around. Come on, everybody's helping out, but you. Steph explains that she can't help. Jesse puts an end to the argument, saying this is so stupid. I can't play my music. I can't take care of myself. This is so humiliating, and he storms out.

Wait to be a big baby a bit.

Yeah, he's just he's really just making Stephanie feel bad.

Yeah yeah.

We cut to the kitchen where Danny is dustbusting his vacuum bag.

This is peak.

Gee, this is like we went from zero to one hundred real quick, you know what I mean. We went from like, oh, the guy kind of likes we went from the house is a disaster to okay, he likes a clean house, to now he is compulsively cleaning his cleaning products. Yes, and I'm honestly a little alarmed, but.

It's they Yeah, they're going full boar with it. There's like, Danny's a clean.

Free and he needs to talk to someone.

Maybe, you know, he's about like controlling his environment doesn't mean he can control the world.

I don't know.

Yeah, therapist would have a field day with this.

Oh yeah, yeah yeah.

So Jesse runs downstairs, telling Danny to open the back door so we can leave, and then slam it. DJ tells her dad that Stephanie won't help Uncle Jesse. Steph explains, I don't want to break him. I don't ever want to hurt Uncle Jesse. Again, DJ tells her she didn't hurt Uncle Jesse, but Stephanie insists, while I only scalped him, wrecked his motorcycle and broke his arms. No wonder he's so mad at me. Danny hears this and excuses dj from her duties as caretaker, which she's very excited about.

Yeah, she's it's taking this really hard.

She's taking it so hard. We cut to the backyard. Danny walks out to find Jesse kicking his wrecked motorcycle.

Just where Bullet died.

Right, this is where bullet died. This is the backyard where vehicles go to die by the hand of Jesse.

I'm not telling you, yes, I like your insurance fraud theory. I'm just I'm just asking. I'm just asking questions, just asking questions.

So Jesse angrily tells him I don't want to talk about it right now. I'd leave, but I can't reach the gate hook. Danny lectures him, well, there's nothing you can do about your arms, but there is something you can do about Stephanie. Jesse's confused, so Danny explains that Stephanie is too scared to go near him because she's afraid she's gonna hurt him again. Jesse shrugs and says, well, tell the little rug rat she's wacko.

That's always a good but that's that's.

Right, he's so so loving. Danny's says, well, Jesse should be the one to tell her that, and in a nicer way, thank you, Danny, Yes, thank you, Danny.

Yes.

Jesse finally agrees and asks Danny to send Stephanie out. Danny goes back in the house and comes back with Stephanie carrying her and places her down on the grass. Stephanie shuffles a couple of inches towards Jesse, and Jesse says you can come a little closer, but she argues I better not. I'm dangerous. That is why you hate me, and the audience gives a big, big yeah yeah.

I mean I did, and it was me, it was you. Yes.

Jesse is finally taken aback and says, Stephanie Judith Tanner, I do not hate you. And I believe this is the second episode where he's referenced or someone has referenced Stephanie's full name, Stephanie.

Judash Well, I think in the oat boats, yes, oat boats, we call each other Donna Joe Tanner and Stephanie Judith or Stephanie, Judah Tanner and Donna Joe Margaret Tanner.

Yeah, that's right. So Steph asks why he's yelling and being so grouchy if he doesn't hate her. Jesse realizes that he's been feeling sorry for himself and he's acting like a baby. Yeah, yeah, he is. He apologizes to Stephanie, saying he didn't mean to blame her. Steph asks, you're really not mad at me. Jesse tells her, you made one little mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. He gives her an example. I'm an expert bike rider and I've never had one problem,

Yeah.

He emphasizes that she's an expert too, but she just made one little mistake.

You look away one time, you know, you laugh at one joke, You laugh.

At one joke, and you cut one gigantic piece of molly weasels out of hair out of someone's head.

You know, it's a thing that happens.

It's the ferret from Season Sun. That's the fit is the ferret from season one. It's been in Jesse's hair making noise this entire time.

It's time to exterminate that at times.

Yep, the ferret is finally gone. Everybody, don't worry, we finally got the ferret.

Okay, So Jesse promises Stephanie that he will be as good as new. He tells her, you come over here, and you give me the world's biggest hug. Lay it on me, baby. She walks up and just squeezes his fingers lightly.

I remember that, by the way, I remember, like, I just remember like lightly squeezing his lips.

Oh, it's just like, don't break him. Be done yet? Yeah. He asks her if he has the kooties, and he tells her to sit on his lap. He admits that he's going to need her help since he can't play his music. He was thinking about working on some lyrics. He tells her. Well, that is, if you could write down the lyrics for me. Stephanie exclaimed, I could do that if you write about dog, cat Tree and Stephanie hit song. Jesse laughs and asks, well, can you spell baby?

It's true. The word baby in a song is proven to uh proven to be a hit.

An instant number one hit. Jesse says that the best part about steph helping him is he gets to spend more time with his little buddy. She responds, I'm so glad you broke your arms and gives him a big hug. He excitedly tells her, you're hugging me and I'm not even hurting because you quit me in a baby at bat. Finally, finally, Stephanie yells, you're right. The curse is broken, and they scream in unison have mercy.

That is so cute. I love that little happener moment.

This is the sweetest little scene between you and John. I just love the bond between Jesse and Stephanie. It continues all away through Fuller House.

True, this was one of those scenes that I watched and then it just made me think of, like, you know, sort of the later times in Fuller House and all that.

It was very cute. Yeah, and including walking you down the aisle when Stephanie finally gets married and in the last season a Fuller Ye so sweet. Well, this feels like the end of the episode, but it's not. We have one more scene, one more scene, one more scene. In Michelle's room, Jesse is sitting next to Michelle's crib as she brushes his hair. He stands up and asks, well, what do you think of my new haircut? Better than Gary Shandling's.

And they probably only said that because Bob and Dave and John actually knew Gary, and it.

Was just a just a stupid joke, like a little insider joke.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm thinking so too, because it seemed kind of out of left field, so I'm like, yeah, this must be an insider although.

Gary Shandling was also very, very popular comedian at the time.

Yeah yeah, So Michelle promptly says, no, you can tell this is a word she's learned. She's like, no, that's her line now for the rest of the episode. Yes. Uh. Jesse asks her, well, what about Don King's hair, and again she tells him no, sarcastically says that he feels much better.

Also, to those of you in their audience going who's Don King? He was a very I'm telling you wow. He was a famous boxing promoter and manager who also notoriously ripped off most of his clients and stole a lot of their money and was kind of not probably a great person.

But his hair was that way defied gravity.

It yeah, it was very It was what inspired Wicked, but it defied gravity.

But yeah, it definitely went up.

It did, it went It went very thing, but it was It was sort of a running joke Don King's hair.

So Jesse's relieved that he does not look like Don King.

His hair looked worse before you did it did.

This is a huge improvement. So Jesse walks around Michelle Room, mentioning how he always says that things happen for a reason. He's realized that maybe this is all happening to him because it's time to make some changes in his life. She stares at him blankly, and he continues, you realize that ever since I've been sixteen years old, I've had the exact same haircut, I've ridden the same Harley, dressed the same listened to the same music, and had the

Yeah, I mean, is.

He going through another life crisis like it's only been a few episodes since the last.

Yeah, he's got a life crisis, and it's always kind of about the same thing, and he always comes to this realization. But then then he hops on his bike and forgets about it and breaks his art.

Yeah yeah, this is this is now a pattern.

I feel it.

And there's more episodes to come where he freaks out and hops on his bike and leaves.

So okay, so it's this is a pattern for a pattern.

Yeah. Yeah.

So Jesse ends up and announces to Michelle, starting right now, I'm gonna shake my life up a bit. Michelle looks surprised, and Jesse asks, what you think I'm afraid of change? She stares blankly, and he gets defensive, saying, you think I'm caught up in this whole rebel thing and I refuse to grow up. Huh, yes, yes, yes you are, Yes, I do exactly, Yes, I do think that spot on. He reveals that from now on he's going to be a lot more open to change and he's going to

You know that there was a moment that got edited out of this, Oh what do tell So if you watch, Dave goes like and reaches behind him, and I don't know if you remember.

It's in the gag reel. Oh, he pulls tongs out of his back pocket and goes like like that and goes out after him like as if he's using the tongs to help Uncle Jesse use the restaurant. Oh geez, but that yeah, they cut that out of the episode, but it's definitely in the in the in the season two gagriel. That's so great And if you and if you watch it, you sort of see Dave like go reach back into his pocket. But I think they were like, maybe we shouldn't put that in the final cut.

Right, Oh my gosh, that's great that I did not notice that. That's hysterical. We kind of find that gag reel. So the guys stare at each other and Joey tells him to go on, and Michelle waves goodbye as both guys walk out of the room, and that is our show. That is our season two opener.

Yes, season two opener, Jesse's broken arms.

Yeah, Jesse's life crisis. They you know, it's it's They're back. They're back. This was a solid season.

Open was this was a great season Oprah. Actually, I really yeah, I really enjoyed it. I was very I was very pleased.

I did too.

Episode.

It's one of my it's one of my favorite episodes. I just think it's a cute. There's some cute scenes in it, and some really funny physical comedy bits with John and Read.

Yeah, and some emotional beats too. They hit all that.

I mean, like some really great, sweet touching scenes, some really funny scenes. It was a well written and well executed episode.

I do like this one.

Yeah, I did too, and I wrote down that. My only note is that I wish this episode had kind of hinted at any of the storylines to come in season two or the character arcs. But now I'm just realizing in real time that maybe that's what this last scene in Michelle's room was about. Jesse's hinting that he's making changes, and I don't know what's coming in season two.

But right, maybe it's the jingle writers. Did they jingle radio host? Did that one of the many jobs that Jesse and Joy do? Yeah, but yeah it does. It is sort of setting that up. Okay for that, but also sit.

Comes back then and shows back then. Like I feel like one off episodes were kind of more of the thing. You could jump in really at any point, true, and you didn't necessary. It wasn't like you needed to know what happened, and that's kind of a sitcom thing anyways. You can, you don't need to know as much. There are a little more like individualized episodes.

Yeah, you can jump anytime, but yeah.

We didn't.

There wasn't a lot of long term character arcs other than Jesse's upset.

Again yeah, Jesse's upset. Jesse's upset.

Yeh, Jesse's upset.

Jesse's upset.

Well, do you have any everywhere you look moments from this episode?

Actually? I do actually have an everywhere you look moments? And it's season.

Two and actually this is everywhere you look and something you don't see, Oh what the second couch.

The second couch has.

Now been replaced with the two blue chairs that remained for the rest of the show.

I didn't even notice that.

The second couch. Yep, the second couch is gone.

I'm kind of relieved because it always every time it's like, right, not two couches, there's only one couch.

It was such a pain in the ass every time, Like I can only imagine as a director as it like it would just.

Would have driven me nuts.

Yeah, okay, so yeah, we finally finally set deck got got it together and replaced it with two blue chairs.

And it's much easier to move move those blue chairs out of the way.

The couch of people sitting there, you know what I mean. It's yeah, it's uh.

The director finally was had Joel probably had burned the couch outside of set or something.

It was like, I.

Hate this thing, get it out. But that was my ever where you look was the second couch is gone.

I love it. I love it. That's a I didn't even notice. I didn't notice that it was that it was gone. All right, that's excellent.

Okay, well you have one.

I do have one, and it's it's I've been wanting to bring this up for a while because I saw it in season one as well, and it's you're in season two. Okay, if you're in the living room set and you look at the kitchen, the door leading to the kitchen.

Right, there's this decor there is this is it the woman, the woman, the mermaid?

What is this?

It's sticking out what you would see on the bow of a ship.

Okay, So which there was always women were always carved into it because they were you were supposed to name your ship after a woman. It was like good luck and whatever, and you put that on the head of on the bow of your ship, and that.

Was She's like the beacon. She's like the yeah, this is what you name your ship. Okay, so it's fitting.

Maybe they ripped it off of the boat in the Secrets episode and they've mounted it to the to the.

Wall ever since the last remaining homage to their bachelor good Yes.

It's and it goes.

It's a set with that weird woman on the bow of the ship and the sea Pappy's head. So they're a duo sort of a weird salt and pepper shaker Kenna. We got Tot's happy Saltan's poppy shaker salt, pap seeing Pappy shaker.

Salt.

That's this is what I'm giving you for for Christmas next years. Happy a custom made Sultan tapping it shakey.

Yes, Oh my god, amazing.

All right, Well, uh, if you guys are enjoying the podcast, make sure you like and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram at how Rude Podcast. You can also send us an email at how rude pop.

Uh, damn it.

That's okay, that's okay, it's all hard. I was expecting you to screw up, right.

You can send us an email at how Rude Podcast at gmail dot com.

There we go.

Good job, and make sure and tune in next week. We've got mini sodes, we've got episodes with Dave Kiek, we've got interviews, all kinds of fun stuff.

So we're so glad to be back with you guys.

In twenty twenty four. And we're so happy to be starting season two of our recap of Howard Tandarrito's. And remember everyone, the world is small, but.

The house is full.

Boom, Mike drop.

Mike dropped down.

You did it, Joony, sweeten. This is a new era, this is a new you.

It is twenty twenty four. What you got? Oh god, no, I shouldn't ask that question. He was terrib