Men Just Don't Understand

the longest bio I've ever read. Welcome you show, Bob, Thank you. Yeah. You know, it's one of those things when you're when your manager writes it and you just you're like, well, I don't want to risk not mentioning something, so dude. He also took a dog two weeks ago. Everything's in there. You've done everything. I mean, you covered the super Bowl daytime Emmy's. I mean, you've been on OPRAH specials for E v H one, you name it.

You gotta teach me the ways here, my man. But you've already got figured out way more than I do. Trust me. No, um, buddy, you coming to the show, and this is going to be kind of baptism by fire. And I know you're you're jumping right into this, but today's show, I'm excited about this one because we also have with us producer Amy and producer Danielle. Ladies. Welcome to the show. We need to set you to straight.

That's okay, So Bob, buckle in here, Bob, because this show is we're going to talk about all the things that women do that men just don't understand. And with Amy, sugarman, the list is endless, and it's a game. It's almost like a little game. We're gonna read you the list, you guys, see if you can explain it, and then we'll correct you. Okay, okay, So, so Bob and I

are basically just sacrificial lambs here is that's what you're saying. So, Bob, Bob, you're a champ brother for coming on this episode of our conversation. Prior to this, Amy is fired up. She just got off a business meeting zoom call that she hates just didn't go so well. So I'm trying to calm myself down, trying to calm myself down. Okay, So Amy, how do we want to do this? Do you want to read the question or do I want Danielle will

read the list. So Danielle will read the list. Then you two will give your thoughts and then we will correct you. Okay, so we have thoughts or things that women do um that men misunderstand. These are from listeners emailed into us, and Danielle is going to read them, and Bob and I are going to take our best grope in the dark at these topics. What are you guys ready? I'm ready. Here's the very first one. And Amy this is her favorite? Okay, why do women overthink

and read into text messages? Definitely Amy Sugarman's favorite. Oh my god, you could send you could literally send okay to Amy and she's like, what does this mean? How does he what is he thinking here? What's he feeling? Why would you respond like that? Like part of my favorite thing. I've missed. I miss seeing you in real life, Amy, because I miss witnessing you in a text conversation. Yeah. I like. I like when women will read the text message back to you and they'll say, you know, can

you believe she said this? Then she was like, oh my god, whatever, and it's like, uh, I don't think the tone was in that email. I think it may have said, oh MG, you know, whatever you want to do, we can do. And Uh yeah, I've seen a million times. It's it's always gonna go from zero to a thousand. I think it's because of the love of the passion

of the person reading that text. So you talk about Amy sugar She's a passionate person, right, she reads the texts that it's like, I don't care whatever you want to do it. She's like, I don't care whatever you want. So it just takes on a different you know, there's little stops and pauses in there. Could that? Could that be what it is? Bob, I think you're a kinder human than I am, because I'm going to answer this question and say that based on my experience I have

of witnessing said person. Uh Sugarman digests a text message, the mood that she's currently in plays directly into how she interprets the text message. Yes, am I correct there. So I think what you both are saying has some

truth to it. But here's what I'll say for men and women, in my opinion, trying to communicate on text, Men in general just want to hurry up and be done writing the text, so therefore we completely do not understand what is happening because in our minds, you should be wanting to spend a lot of time going back and forth giving us all the explanation, the emotion and the detail, and you just want to get back to whatever you're watching on TV. But we're not really prepared

for that. So to us, we're thinking, why is he mad? A, why is it? Why doesn't he like me anymore? What's wrong? What? On Instagram? We have to read it twenty times to try to decipher because y'all can't give us the information,

so we're like detectives decoding the text. The other problem is they asked their friends to help decode it too, so what they think, like what the meaning behind the text message was, They'll ask a friend and then that friend will have a different meaning, which means everyone just overthinks yeah yeah, And that is a dark, dark hole to go down, because you can really get lost in desperation. It's the friend jumps on your bandwagon and also thinks

something's wrong, because then you're just like, I am so screwed. Okay, so I just I just particip I just did a live experiment I just text Amy, Amy, how are you doing that? Is that one is okay because you used a nice comma and a question mark and some punctuation. Here's the one that throws us. I will tell you, guys what the one that throws us. So let's say I send a text to you guys, and I'm like, hey, Bob, and you right back, what's up? So I immediately hear

that is this what's up? Like? What do you want? Why are you texting me? What if it's got proper punctuation and a question mark and a smiley face, smiley face, Oh, the smiley face would help. The question mark would just throw me because I hear it as what's up? Yeah, And I'm not even asking you how you are or how your day is. It just goes straight to what's up? And it's like, all right, you clearly don't want to talk to me. But all she said was all you

said was hi, Bob. That was all you said. That's all you led with. So that's not taking a vested interest in Bob. Look at this, gentleman, this is this is a wonderful, beautiful and you're saying the high is to sort of check if you're available for communicating before I flood you with information. It's like, why don't you just say, hey, Bob, I'd love to chat. Do you

have a free minute? Then we can understand that. I'll be like I think now the advice is please stop texting back what's up unless you're going to add like a couple of nice emojis or like hey, how were you? What's going on? I'll call you in a minute like that. So you know, I always thought that maybe women didn't like guys who used emojis, you know, like maybe it's more of a h. I think you must like it.

Definitely like it. We definitely to an extent. Let's not go crazy, but definitely a little and and the perfect Um, what are the ones that look like you, you know the bit mo g or yea that's good or I don't know if it's JIF or gift. But if you send me a good one of those, Oh yeah, I gotta get better at that. Amy. What what if I text you back with w h A t z z z z z is like what zab better? Better? All right? I think we're ready for number two? Are you guys ready? Okay?

Why do women say I'm fine when they're clearly not fine. I have no idea. That has no idea. I've been through a tremendous amount of marriage counseling over my adult life for that exact question, and the answer that I that one I don't think even women can answer. I think they say I'm fine in a way to elicit more conversations. So if they were really fine, they go, everything is totally fine, but instead of like, I'm fine,

that means I'm not fine. It's your fault and it's time to try and figure out the labyrinth of reasons why you pissed me off. And yeah, we're too scared to immediately tell you what's going on, so again we're dipping our toe in the water with the I'm fine. I'm fine. Is like when someone says I wish you the best, because here's what I wish you the best means,

please f off. Here's here's what happens. Here's what happens to a guy when when a woman says I'm fine, the guy goes, oh, dear, I don't want to be anywhere near this. What did I do this? Like? Uh, slowly start backing out of this room? Okay, Yeah, and I'm speaking up, I'm fine, run for the hills, yes, exactly. So why do you guys say it? Why? Why not just say I'm actually really upset right now? I would say fear. We are afraid to tell you how we

are actually feeling. Why why? Yeah, afraid of what this is for me? And I would love for people to tell me what they think for everyone listening, but for me it would be fear and rocking the boat, Like I get real nervous if I was like telling you I'm really upset, I'm mad. Like here's an example. I'll give you an example. Like sometimes I want to say to a boyfriend, why have you not called me? But

I don't say it because God forbid. The answer is like I got a car accident, my leg is broken, and then I've come in hot like a real b I T C H. So it's almost like what I do is sort of again, get my toe in the water to try to figure out what's happening. Is there a valid reason before I go off the rails? But if he got in a car accident and broke his leg, he's arms and fingers. I think for me, I think for me, it's like I don't want to be the one that has a problem, you know what I mean, Like,

I want to be like calm, cool, collected. I don't want to be the one that has a I don't know as an issue, right, So you'd rather not come off like See. So my wife has actually said this to me before. She's like, listen, I don't want to come off like I'm nagging about things that you should know better about anyway a hundred person. So if she's reminding me, then somehow my idiocy has become her problem, when in fact I should just pick up on the fact that I'm a jackass and get over it. I can.

It's all making sense now, Guys, I've so much money on therapy over the years. Way better we do. We do expect a lot of mind reading. We really would appreciate it if y'all could learn to read our minds. And it's very frustrating that you cannot do that. That's a tough one. That is a tough one. That is just like and it's frustrating. It's frustrating from a man's

one of you. Um some I will say this sometimes that has happened to me in my experience with life and I've been like, oh, you're actually very valid there. I should have known better. I really should have known better. And other times it's happened the exact opposite, where I'm like, how the hell am I supposed to know? Like, like both I've experienced both. I'm like, oh, that's like I'm supposed to know that, Like I have no idea about that.

How am I supposed to know? Yeah, you could be a pretty self aware guy and still and I mean that in a night in a good way, and still not know what it is that the women in your life need a lot of times, because that is a It's like, ah, the target is kind of always moving, so you're just trying to like, I'm trying to like predict, you know, what I should say to make sure I'm not kissing everyone off. And I'm not that smart, so

it doesn't always work out to my advantage. It's very well said some moving target, Bob, You're right, all right. Next one, why do women take so damn long to get ready? Oh? My wife will tell you I take longer than her, which is completely untrue. But I think I think it's because they want to evaluate what you look like and then make sure that they look better, so like, you know, and that's easy to do and some you know my circumstance, that's pretty easy to do

for my wife. But you know, if I, for example, if we're going to dinner with some friends and I come out in jeans and a sweater and she comes out in a ballgown, obviously signals across there's up to stay. So she'd rather just kind of wait, make sure that you dialed in fashion wise, and then also make sure that you know we're at least fifteen minutes late, so that I apologize for it, because I I need to be the first one there in the last leave I

have fomo. So I'm gonna just piggyback exactly what Bob just said. I want to answer this question with a question. Why is it that we have to leave fifteen minutes late every single time? So if you tell a woman we're leaving at seven, that automatically means you're leaving at seven fift that's the earliest. Why is that if you say six thirty, it means Why can we not leave at a specific time even when we communicate at seven pm?

Why does it automatically turn into seven? We let Amy inser that because she's the late one, I I leave on time. I believe that Danielle, I do I tend to run fifteen minutes later. Why at all times I'm like not great with planning. And here's the thing, I'm getting ready. And I can't speak for all women, but my hair is like a serious situation. It takes like

a really long time to blow dry. And I also think, and again, I would love for people to comment the getting ready process for me is sometimes as fun as whatever I'm doing. It's like, I take this hour, I go town my hair. I loved a lollygag. I might watching an episode of The Walking Dead while I'm filing my nails, Like I literally make it a whole thing. I like have a piece of chocolate. I might like make a snack. Like it's just a hold to do for me. That's that. Let's not mess with that. And

I'm kind of ready when I'm ready. And if I if you're pressuring me, I'm gonna get like a stomach ache. Just give me second. And the opposite of Bob arrived late and get out of their way before. If I haven't had the bar closed on me, I clearly have messed up tonight. That's my mindset. Like literally, they'll be like, sir, you have to leave, we cannot give you another beaver and tell me, oh, you does need help clean it up? Then I want to help. I want to be friend

to the bartender. So I'm like hauling gear out. But you know, my sister brother in law, which is right. My brother in law has been with my sister almost

thirty years. Tomorrow is their anniversary, by the way, and they literally my brother in law's got it down to it, so he knows that my sister is kind of like sugar man, so he literally his mindset will be like they'll say, okay, arrive at seven, and he knows it's a half an hour drive, so he'll say, hey, by the way, the invitation says to be there at six thirty, so he lies, he lies, yeah, and then they'll arrive at seven ish and there's still you know, in in

the real world or in her mind, rather than still forty five minutes late. But in reality they're like fifteen minutes later on time all the time. Our famous quote. So we obviously, you know, back when people used to be able to be near people, we would have lots of events and literally, like my famous quote is like, why are all these people on time? Like we're not ready? So minutes is okay. One of the first things I learned when I moved to l A was that seven

o'clock meant seven thirty to eighty. Like I a friend had some a friend had something at like seven o'clock. So I'm like six fifty five. I'm there. Like, if you're not in my world, if you're not five minutes early or ten minutes late. If you were if you were five minutes late, you missed the team plane, missed the team bus, like if you were fighting the slate, you were penalized for that. And so then I get to l A and I show up at seven o'clock.

Nobody's there. I'm the first one there. They're like, what are you doing here? I'm like you said seven. You're like, well it's six five. I like, yeah, seven page. I'm the first one there and first one out, Like LA is so bad. The funniest thing about that, okay, So you know how like there's award shows or whatever back again when we used to be able to be near people. So like let's say it's the American Music Awards. The invitation actually says doors closed at seven o'clock. You will

not be let in after seven o'clock. And then people call me in a panic and I'm like, it's lies. It's just giant lies. Like they let you in after seven o'clock. They're like, oh my god, all right. Next one, why do women like Gray's Anatomy? Probably is there hunky guys on it? I don't know. We have the same way in the same time. I think I think I said mcsteamie and you said mc jeamie. I don't know.

Was Bob on that show too? I was. I helped carrying some stuff for one of the banquets, so you know, I was the first guy there was, like carrying in the cocktails. Okay, um, I've never watched two minutes of Gray's amount Anatomy, although I think, isn't it the longest running TV show or something like that. It's a very long running medical drama. I think Law and Order s v U has been on like way longer. So I

have no idea why why. I can't answer because I don't even know the show Women Love Doctor if it was called, you know, Plumber's Anatomy. No one'll be glass, no one will care not no no offense the Plumber. I'm sure there's some pretty hand there's probably a mcsteam me and make dreaming of the Plumber world as well. But these guys are doctors. They're in Seattle. They're making you know, all this dough. They happen to be pretty easy on the eyes, you know, that's why. That's why

they're saving lives. They're saving Yeah, is it rains? You know? Yeah? Is it because they like like the caretaker? Is there a lot of like caretaker kind of like um that kind of stuff in it. I think we get invested in the storyline, Danielle. You you can comment, but I think we get invested in the storyline, like we fully know these people and they're real. That's my experience with a lot of shows, like I truly begin to care about these people, like I know them. I have that

with Grey's Anatomy. Emily and Paris is a new show where yeah, I love it. I watched the whole thing, right, I completely care about these people. And I would say Grace Anatomy, he's very clever about really making us invested, not only in like each episode where they're saving the life, but like who they're gonna be with, and we also are like, I don't like that person with this person. So we really get to fully judge in the same way we judge The Bachelor, where we're like, oh, that

guy's no good, get rid of it, you know. So for me, it's not Gray's Anatomy, it's This is Us. But like literally every time I watch that show, I'm a puddle. I'm a puddled mess. Like I'm crying, I have tissues. I like it's not coming out of my nose. And my husband is always like, why are you watching a show that is making you cry? I do not understand that, And like it literally makes me feel like

let me be in my emotions right now. Like I'm crying because totally invested in these people and they all have like storyline, so like you try or not try it, but like I like, for example, like um, Justin Hartley's character on This is Us, like I have a friend that's just like him, so I'm like, oh my god, it's like my friend or I don't know. You just get super invested and you do yourself the favorite Brooks. Watch the two minute trailer for the new season of

Grey's Anatomy and the crossover episode was Station nineteen. I have watched it three times because I'm so obsessed in trying to learn more, crying from the trailer because they're all it's so good. So here here's a question. I have a question, um, for you two women, UM, I think for I don't know. I shouldn't speak for all men, but I think for me. Let me just speak for me. Um. It's hard for me to emotionally feel something in a

fictional TV series or fictional movie. If it's a documentary and it's a true story, absolutely I can feel something, and I like my heart can get invested in it. But if I know it's fiction, it's hard for me to to emotionally feel something. Why is very interesting point, Bob, how do you feel about that? And my question also is when you watch sports, if your team wins or your guy gets hurt, do you get emotionally like affected?

I'll answer the sports parts. I'm a Detroit Lions fan, so I've never experienced a winning part, but I'm assuming I woul like I jump for joy, but that that that never happened for me. But I do get into show that I get into man like like I do like, but but I'm more of like um for example, like right now, I'm really into Cobra Ka man I am. I haven't watched it. Oh it's so good, and I like, I'm like binge watching it, like I mean, it's you know, I'm I'm literally you know, I'm wax on, wax off.

Are you like Ralph Macchio or is it the new people that are? You know, I'm back with back with Billy Zapp command get back. I think he's doing you know. I like Ralph Moccio too, but no, you know, and I did love Emily Emilian Paris. I love that show. I do get into it, but I don't get like super emotionally involved unless it's like one of those binge series that you can just for example, Yellowstone. Have you guys seen that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah too, And I

think it's or oh yeah, he's so good. And that's how That's how I feel about Walking Dead. I'm catching up on the last four episodes or something, and literally Darryl means so much to me that I don't know how to like deal with it. And one of the comforting things for me is that I know he's getting a spin off, so I truly don't have to worry he's gonna die like as much because if he's getting a spinoff in a couple of years, like, they're not going to kill him. Like I care about him so much,

that's awesome. What do you tell the end of this episode? Tell them what's happening next. We know what's happening, but you guys don't know. So go, okay. Why do women offer their homes even when they don't have space? Now, Danielle, give your story on this so Bob and Brooks can understand. Oh my gosh, Eastern is gonna die because he doesn't know this story yet. So Eastern feels free to chime in.

So um maybe Like a month or two ago, there was these massive fires by Eastern's home and his wife had posted something on Instagram and um saying like we might get evacuated, And so I I hit her back and I was like, if you get evacuated, come to my house, like we like, come over, like I will take you guys in. And I told my husband was like, um, Eastern and his wife might get evacuated. Like I told him to come over if they need anything at all. And John's like, and where are they gonna go? Like,

we have a one bedroom apartment. We do not have space. And I was like, it's besides the point. I just like I want to help him out, Like if if they got to sit on our couch, they got sit on our couch, it's better than their house that is by all these fires. And he's like, Danielle, we don't have space. I don't know why you said that. So I love that I can touch on that. So this is what this is my thought when I hear that one. Danielle,

God bless your heart. You have a beautiful heart that you would I believe you would always welcome anybody in trouble into your home. That's amazing. Guys your husband are more practical and literal. And he then looks at numbers and logistics like, well, where are they going to sleep? We don't have space, it's a one bedroom apartment. What's the other option? But you just lead with heart, And then I think guys like when there's something arises, I think they go to the at least I do go

to the very logical, pragmatic answer. Yeah, that's definitely a right brain left brain type of conversation, right, I agree with you. I mean, Danielle, that's that's very nice, and I think that's very sweet. And I think that I am clearly the woman in my relationship because I would basically be like, yes, of course, come on in, and my wife would be like, what in the hell are you talking about? We don't have space for these people.

So I just realized that I am actually I should probably be on the other side of the panel here. I feel, okay, that brings up a very interesting thing that's going through my mind while you're all talking about that. So I think women, and again, I hate to generalize, but I'm gonna do it anyway, have we struggled with like what we should do versus what we want to do or what would be perceived as the nice thing

to do. Like here's my big dilemma right now, I'll give this to you guys, and you can all star. So a couple of months ago, four friends said let's go to Carmel for the weekend, like everyone can get tested, it'll be safe, you know, blah blah blah. And I've been very locked down, like because I basically my parents lived right near me, so I'm very COVID careful because

I need to protect everybody. So two months ago, I was like, Okay, let's make the reservation and then I can always like bug out if I get to notice about it. Well, now it's like a week away. So here's where I'm at. I do want to go, Like I want to see these four friends that are four my closest friends, and my super worried about them. No, I know they've all been tested multiple times. They'll they'll get tested again, but we you know, that doesn't necessarily guarantee,

and they've got kids and the whole thing. So I'm like, oh, oh that makes me stressed. Then I'm also like now I'm so comfortable in my own home that I'm like afraid to leave it. I have this like, oh, I'm scared to go stay in a hotel, like you know, I mean, I'll bring my lights on. I was nuts with that stuff before, but I digressed. So it's like I want to go, but I don't want to go.

Like here's where I'm at. If somebody else canceled and it got canceled, I would be happy, but at the same time, like I want to be brave and I want to go, We'll still totally be distanced. I will wear a mask and be distanced without I don't have any drama with that. It's like stay fifteen feet away because that's fine. But it's like I'm so nervous. Should I go? Should I not get? Like I'm so conflicted.

I do not know what to do. Then of course my family was like They're going to we have a Tahoe house, and I'm like, oh my god, so now I have to either go or have to be alone or I have to go to time, Like oh, I literally don't know what to do? What is the question? What do I? What do I do? Like what I have a question about half I just heard during that conversation amazing so Amy lane all of that out but didn't give us any direction with like what are we

supposed to help? You do not know what to do? I have to decide by tomorrow because we can't cancel pass tomorrow. I think what I'm gonna do is my poor friends too, because I'm like so freaky, Like when friends come over for like outside distancing, like literally they said, I wish you guys could see I should take pictures my outdoor safe area is like twenty ft apart. So you're like, what what alright? I think going on to the next question, right, Yeah, I'll leave Amy solve that

one on her own one us I got lost. I think you should go. Okay, next question, why do women need a different purse for every occasion? Yeah? That is a tough one. I I kind of know an answer. I've been told a bunch over the years that you know, the person needs to match the shoes, which need to match the evening and the event. So if it's a you know, if I mean, honest to god, I've seen

closets in my own home. I mean, I'm trying not to implicate my wife on this one, but they have so many purses in them that you're literally just like, I mean, I've never even seen this person out of the box or out of the bag, and it's you know, why is this even here? But you can't part with it.

It's got to be here. So yeah, I feel like it's you know, there's a mood, there's a mood factor, there's a fashion factor, and a function factor, and all three of those things have to line up to a certain degree in order for the be the perfect handbag choice of the evening. That's my thought. You nailed that really much. Yeah, I would say you pretty much nailed that. Well done, Bob, because as I'm as I'm listening to that, I'm like, wow, especially that three what were the three

function fashion? I don't remember that. I don't know even know what I said. I don't know, I don't know you rustan. My My answer to that was color, Mike. My answer to that was was gonna be. I have no idea. Like the best way I can explain it is a purse is like a clothing item. So what you wear to the beach, you're not going to wear to the wedding a wedding, you know what I mean. So it's like it's literally just an extension of an outfit.

So if you're wearing something casuable, well, And now I will admit I was never going to be the Fannie Pack person, but now because like I need my hands, so I have embraced Fannie packs because I need my phone and I don't want to put anything on the ground, and I need my wipes, and I need my this and my that. I I am cool Fannie Pack right now too. Like I went for six years no Fannie pack and now full on and I don't even need

to call it a belt bag. I will embrace and call it a Fannie pack if you were the bag part on the front. Yeah, But but what I've been doing lately is like kind of doing it like a cross body bag, like a cross body. So the genesis of this show was the other day, Amy, about a week ago, you asked me if I was going to do some social posting thing or something. I was like, Amy, if you get me that deal, I'll buy you a purse. And then when I said purse, I'm like, that sounds

like something my grandma would use. Do they call it a purse. I know they call it a clutch, but as a purse to clutch or is like whatever or a bag, I'll just buy you something you like. And then you went, oh my god, this is perfect stuff that guys don't know about women. And I'm like, great, let's do it. So I didn't know. I didn't know if I offended you by saying I'll buy you a purse, because I don't even know what a purse is. I would rather just have the cold, hard cash, but to

or bad or clutch. But yes, So that is what happened that made us want to do this whole episode because we feel like it's the old we don't speak the same language, Danielle, what is next? Hey, why do women talk on the phone for hours? Took us in anatomy? Is not on that day? This is another one, I think where guys, I mean, that's the advent of texting was the greatest thing in the world to me, Like, I would rather text than ever talk on the phone. And it's terrible, I know, but I don't really need

to have all the fluff. I just of like, hey, meet for dinner at seven, see you at you know, Charlie's Crab or whatever. Doesn't need to be a conversation about why we're going to dinner, because that's why we're gonna be at dinner, is they have a conversation. I mean, what I'm gonna wear it because I don't care what you wear, so you don't care what I wear. So we'll just show up and what's show up? So I

think they women are just that much more. I mean, my my wife literally, I've been hearing her on the phone for like the lad ever since we got on the horn and she'd been on to like an hour ahead of us with a twenty four month old run around the house. Yeah so old. Really, So it's like I'm gonna take a stab at this one, um to

feel on and feel and be understood. Interesting even even though it's gossip, even though it's not like deep and yet accurate, Like there's some sort of thing about being connected to somebody that at some point there's gonna be like real topics come up into discussion, even though a lot of it is just gossip and fluff, Like at some point the realness of why you called is going to come up in it. Um. But also just to feel safe enough to be heard that there might need

to be some stuff before it. I feel that again, you're nailing it, like they're that's pretty accurate. Yeah, I think that sounds. You know. What's interesting is my wife says to me all the time, She's like, I don't need you to fix everything. Sometimes I just want you to listen because you know, so's just say this happened today, and I'll go, oh, well, you know you could have done this. And I mean, I don't know why I'm saying it, because I clearly it already happened. I'm not

fixing anything. She doesn't need that, right, she just needs someone to listen to her and kind of commiserate and be like, yeah, that really sucks. Instead, I'm like, well that's ridiculous. You know. I don't think men realize how far it would go for them if they literally just made a phone call to say, hey, I just wanted to see how you're dealing. I'm about to run into me eating. But it's like that would be like Christmas. The other thing I will say. So, I had a

boyfriend and I lost the boyfriend. I'm still friends with the boyfriend. It's a whole tragic story we can talk about later. But still talking to him, Yeah, that can be a therapy session. So I called him and I was like, oh, he hasn't called me back, and then starting to go off the rails. But here's how he saved himself. He's obviously like golfing or doing something. So I called. He doesn't answer, So I sent a text like hey, he wrote back right away and said I'll

call you at three. So it was like number one he wrote me right back, and number two he's like giving me a time. So then I'm like and he's one of those guys who will call when he says he's gonna call. So it was like, I don't even need to talk to you now, like I'm good like And then I forgot you were doing this, so I sent him a text. I was like, oh, I forgot, I can't talk because now he feels so good feeling Amy, I text, I text you today during this podcast? Is that? Amy?

How you doing? Goes a long way? Bob, You hit the nail on the head with that one. That's all all we want is just somebody to listen to us. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, an amazing One of the most amazing qualities in a person is somebody that can just listen, be present, be listen, be empathetic and compassionate, and not try to fix everything and not solicit opinion, just be there to receive. I think that's a I have. I have one friend who is phenomenal at that. He's maybe

the best I've ever seen. He's been a he's a brother to me. He's a huge part of my life, and he is a phenomenal listener and does never never offers a biased opinion or injects and whatever. He'll just like listen and receive um and then offer any guidance he can if I'm seeking it, you know. But fantastic, friends, It's a beautiful skill in a person. That Okay, next one, Why do women love so many pillows? H I think, Yeah, my wife takes all the pillows and I literally there

really nothing. But I don't know the reason why behind that, but I do know that it is a desire for women to take every pillow in the bed. Does it bother you when you have like twelve pillows on your bed? I I actually love it. I think it looks great. I so would rather having on there. But then when you go to take them off every night, it's like pillow pillow, pillow, pillow pillow. Do you guys want me to show you something stack at eight feet high over here and then got to put them back on in

the morning. It's true. I mean, the big thrill pillow I've tried. I don't know. It's just an it's an asthetic thing. It's just an asthetic thing. Decore, Yeah, decore. Could you guys see my couch? Could you guys see my couch? Yeah? It hasn't a lot of pila all right, Why do women only wear the same outfit once? That's more awards showish I feel, I mean, I I gotta say,

like I've seen, I've seen. You know, my wife I can use as my example who She's got a couple serious go to items and we go to the Kentucky Derby every year and well, you know now that you just said. Now I'm saying that it's true. Every year at the Derby, she's got a nude you dressed for each of them. That is true. Uma, thirty times I was I was gonna I was gonna answer, I have no idea, But now here's my answer. Um, this is

a guess, but this is my answer. The they are afraid of being judged as being not relevant and in the way of not having the newest, updated fashion, and I feel like they might be judged for that. I would say there's some sort of truth there. But for me, it's like you can wear the same dress but not with the same crowd of people. So like, if I'm doing something with my college friends, I could wear that same dress for a work thing. Okay, here's here's the

here's my perspective on it. Um, one of my one of my life goals is to never live life in excess um, not to have eight cars, not to have wat watches, and so like, one of my life goals is to stay humble and just provide for myself what I need, but then use my resources to better the lives of other people around me, and not just live

my life in excess. And so I'm like Bob, I can wear the same suit thirty times and feel good about it because I'm gonna buy one or two or three nice things that I really enjoy and our timeless and I will continue to wear them versus having to have a new one all the time. That would just exhaust me and not be congruent with how I want to live my life. Yeah, I think I have too much crap. We'll just play to the next one. Why do women need while it's the size of books because

they stuffed in there. You bring everything, You'll bring everything you don't need, just in case you might once a year needed. It would be like a guy bringing like

fourteen different tools. It's like, I don't know, I might have to screw something in, I might need a I need a ratchet, I might need a So I mean, like, who, like, I have no idea you should see, Like, my my wallet is a little clip that's got like four cards in it and ten bucks, right, and if it's not in there, whatever, if I can't pay for it with a visa or an American Express, alright, whatever, I don't need it, Like, yeah, yeah, I always. I said it

to my wife the other day. I'm like, your wallet is absolutely huge, and I don't know if you know this, but since we've get gotten married, you've never used it. I mean she literally has referred to me as her wallet before. She'll be like, oh, yeah, no, I got my wallet right here, and if you can both take it's funny. But I'm just like, why is your wallet so big? It clear? And why does he have a zipper on it? Does zipper clearly doesn't function because I've

never seen pickup tap for damn thinging. I'm trying to figure it out. I always like to prepare for any scenario. So I have my insurance card, I had all of my credit cards, I had my trip, I have like a nort Shum gift card. I have like a Froyo gift card, like all the random gift cards that I have. I have um like literally anything that could possibly be needed if I have to get somebody out of jail.

I better on my checkbook exactly exactly. And now let me tell you about now, because I already was like pretty prepared. Let me tell you what's in my cock wipes? Two kinds lights, alt plus like wet ones because those are better for the hands, lifesavers just in case I need something to suck on, extra cash, emergency cash, a towel just in case of a spill, little plastic gloves in case I just have to pump the gas. And a toilet. I got a part board of potty. And

here's the thing. I thought I was insane with my porta potty. It's like a kid's potty, but a bag attaches to it so that if I have to go in it. Kristen Bell, God bless her on? Was it Ellen? Ellen? She had to Ellen was playing a game with our Ellen de Generes of like go get the last thing you bought on Amazon, And sure as bleep does she come back with this go in the car potty contraption. And I was like, I am not alone. I have never felt so seen ever. I was like, yep, I

have totties. You have too in your car. Do you want me to get one? Do you want me to get one? So here's my why why do you Why do you have them? Is it because you hate public restrooms or because, like you have you just sometimes get a real rush case diary your time it's up. Oh no, you really would. Well, okay, one of them you could go poop in if you had to. But it's because I really don't want to use a public restroom right now. So yeah, and I haven't had to. It just in

the slide into the and that was doable. But it was small, it looked a little looked a little stressful. So then my friend Lisa, he's like, get this one. She said, even after COVID, she's just gonna continue to use it. It's that great. She just sits it on her car. So in the back, you put this bag. You can go number one, you can go number two. You just tie it up to disrobe and that something called a private sea blanket. But you just use a towel.

So you just take your whatever pants down or whatever. You put the towel over you. You just go and it go. And there's even a thing so if you have to go number one, there's uh some sort of absorption absorption thing in the bag so that you don't get like splashback and like it just absorbs it and then you're just solid. It press me so much comfort. I actually had to go somewhere the other day and I didn't put it in the car and I went back in the house because I also feel like, if

it's there, I don't even have to go. It's like a ceebo effect or something. What's that called. I guess that's what it's called. But if it's no, it's called yeah. But if it's not there, you're like, oh, I have to go, Like I'll cut it to what it is. Because it was there, I didn't even have to go. If I didn't have it, I probably would have had diarrhea. Yeah, yeah, I've never heard of this. Oh, like I did not think I'm alone, But maybe we can do an Instagram poll. Danielle,

do you have a porta potty? No? I don't, but what I do have are like ums, not disposable like travel uten tools just because I'm not really using like the fork or like things like at a restaurant, so I just have them with me um to eat. Yeah, why are you laughing? I swear to God I have it. I'm gonna do that. Bob. What do you have in your car at all times? Well, you know, I got a kid who's under two years old, so I've always

got diapers, wipes, a changing pad um. Trying to think what I'll have It this interesting though, I mean for a guy, you know, I mean I think about it from the standpoint of, hey, you know, like an impty gatorad bottle and I'm I'm fine on the side of the road. Rat rat in her water bottle. Yeah, she's very skilled. I do not know how she did. Kristen bell got was like a funnel. Kristen Bells was like

a funnel. I respect Kristen bell more than ever. Why do women say they're not hungry, but we'll still eat off your plate, ah and eat their entire plate? Yes, So it used to be that my wife, I have a comment wife. I mean, it even happened today stopping from like Mediterranean food like a ye o, you know, and I was like, hey, I'm stopping to get this food at this place, simply fresh type of thing, and I'm like, you know, do you do you want anything?

And She's like, no, I'm good. I just date. I said, okay, now, we've been together for a long time. So I literally went in and I ordered two year old dinners and I came out and my wife's like, why did you order that? I said, I wasn't hungry, and I'm like, oh, I just you know, I have it here. I maybe I'll eat it for lunch tomorrow or something. I sit down. She eats the entire thing last at that. She's like,

why would you even get that? And I'm like, because I knew you would be picking on mine and I didn't want that, so I figured I'd rather spend the six hours to give you your own damn thing. So you leave my my little tray alone, you know, because my husband does that. Oh, and I'm so appreciative. I'm like, a good move. It's literally put in my phone. I learned everyone her favorite orders at all these different places,

and I put it on my phone. So if I happened to go, like, if I go to Subway right now, I can whack off her order quickly, you know, just blast through it. And uh yeah became my go to. It is so true, um, because also what you said, Bob, guys are so defensive of their portions because we're like, I want to eat till I'm full. I want to eat this whole plate. This is gonna make me so happy. This whole thing is just it's like Guardian, It's like this is mine, and then when they start rating it,

it's like, dear God, what are you doing? So true and I would rather spend the six bucks, ten bucks whatever. It is just like that just to protect just It's like it's like insurance for a flight, you know, buy that by I probably don't need it, but I'll buy it just the case. Okay, ok um, can I read one? I text a friend this question. Yes, I said, what is one thing that that, um, you think men don't understand about women? And the text back was actually pretty

long that was even hard to understand. Um, yes it was a woman. Yeah, so okay, this is this is like my best guess would be that guys don't understand just the depths of which a single thought comes from in a woman. By the time she has come to a conclusion and finally said something, that thought has gone in eighteen circles, tabs were open at all times, and five fake scenarios have been made. Meanwhile, Meanwhile, guys are straightforward what they think, they say, what they feel, they do.

But then again, maybe I am mis misunderstanding it all. So so why is it that I'm trying to decipher and code that there's no uncoding needed. Every woman listening fully understands and fully is it? Unpack it for us? Unpacked that for Bob and I it was so clear, what do you mean, unpack it? She nailed it? But why, why? Why does every thought have to go in eighteen circles, have twenty seven tabs open and five fake scenarios made,

because that's how we do. That's how we do. The five fake scenarios is so good because we do that in our minds, like literally have created like a full picture of what has happened for the next year in our mind. By the way, this person is wonderful, very very kind, so wonderful and it's really interesting. Are you ready to hear what's happening next week? Um? Oh god? Can we have Bob back for it? Yes? So, Bob, can you see back next week? And here is what's

going to happen. So this week's episode is called men just don't Understand? Well. Next week is called Is this one called men just don't Understand? Yeah, so next week is women just don't Understand. So we are going to open the floodgates. We want women to instagram us, email us, what you know, whatever they want to however, they want to get the message to us of all the things like this that they do not understand about men. And then we're gonna bring you guys back to explain it,

like we want. Danielle and I will not chime in because we don't know either. So we're gonna let you guys and maybe we'll get one more guy two help us understand. I'm looking forward to this. You're gonna have to from our listeners. We're probably going to get a ton of questions, but you're probably gonna need a lot of questions instead of just seven. Like it took it took us an hour to cover seven questions, like we're gonna need eighty five questions to get through minutes. Because

it's this is why we do it. That's why we do this. Um, So what's our email? Man at I Heart radio dot com. You can send us your questions. Yeah, I'll put it on Instagram, so you guys can just send us your responses there too. Okay, can can we lead into that with one question from you guys? What's one thing you don't understand about? I'm gonna have questions, just one, just one right now, just one. Well I addressed the one with the what's up? That one really

stresses me out. Okay, can I touch on that? Can I touch it? And everyone? Gavin remember one Gavin said, what's up? It means like, how are you doing? Are we great dinner? How's your truck running? Like did you see the game the other night? What's up means everything? That's just that's just through amy. It's like, oh it paralyzed. Here it paralyzed. There's just like, oh god, I don't

know what to do with this. Well, I mean I can give you the big question of and this may not be you two, but a law out of men. So do you guys know about the three types of attachment? Oh? My god? Okay, So you guys need to do some homework this week. So there's three types of attachment. There's secure attachment, there's anxious attachment, and there's avoidant attachment. And many, many men have avoidant attachment. And I'd like to know why,

Like what scares you so much? Anxious. So if you google the three types of attachment, they'll be that's some homework for you guys. There's secure, which if you are secure attachment, then you've got it together. There is anxious, and then there's avoiding. And I would like to dig into avoiding. Like a lot of men really do not mind being alone. They really enjoy being alone. And by being alone, it doesn't just mean reading in the other room.

It means like they don't need to talk to anybody, They don't need anyone in their house for like days on end. Okay, Danielle, what was your question Amy? We'll get into that next week. Danielle, what was your question? Um? Why do men have to sleep in negative a hundred degree weather? Like my husband has to have the A C on and I am literally an ice cube. That's my question. If the room, if the room is not below sixty six degrees and even like sixty five sixty four,

and I sleep naked. If the room is not below that, I am just a furnace and can't sleep. Yeah, I sleep naked and it has to be below that otherwise I'm just overheating all night long. Yeah, I do not understand naked sleeping. We should tap. I cannot sleep with a stitch of clothing on. I cannot do it. No, I don't really. I don't like that. I don't. I don't mean guys doing it, but I can't. That's a no. I'm sorry. It's just hard. No, that's a hard past Um.

That's why, Danielle, it's it's just too hot. No, it's okay, it's just for me. It's too hot, like undercovers is too hot. Um. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe it's body hair. I have a lot of body hair, and so I already have like a semi blanket on me. You know, I don't know, Bob, what's your hands to I'm pretty much hairless. I'm like like one of those those horrible cats in the Awesome Powers of movies. But I but I just because I don't have that additional

uh warmth, you know, covering a blanket thing. I like it cold too, though, I I really do. I like it to be about sixty six sixty series. I sleep best that way, and I don't need a lot of blankets either. I do need some pillows to help. So tell my wife if you're watching honey, can I help my pillows back? I mean, I think this was a very good episode. I don't know because we were all on it, but it felt good to me. I loved it.

I loved it. I think I've learned some things. I think we could do a follow up at this one at some point, because I think there's so many other things that. Um, Like, remember when we were doing the the d M one Amy and and like Paige was reading my d m s and I had no idea what was going on in my DS? Like, wait, what do you think was like something like, well, tell all lots of love or something. What was it that you thought something meant? Yeah? I thought it meant lots of love.

This person, like this is like when I was nine, eighteen or something. Somebody's like just like sending me messes l O L l O L. I'm like, oh my god, she's getting so attached to me. I gotta I gotta back off of this. I gotta really back off of this because I'm not interested in this girl, but she

was just yeah. Um. But then when we did that d M one, because I was trying to help people out of my d MS, I get a lot of fitness, a lot of health, a lot of whatever questions I try and help people, and then Page read them and she's like, oh my god, do you not see what's going on? I'm like no, And I even ran her the DM and the she's like well, And then she looked at and she's like, well, did you not see the four hard emojis in there? I was like I just never even No, not really. I think men are

oblivious in many ways. I think men are very very acute and interpretive in many ways. But I also think we have a large kind of ourselves that are oblivious. That's a good one. We should discuss that too. I was also Brooks one day, when I can see you again, I would love to do an Instagram video with like seeing if you can decipher emojis? Why do you think they mean? Because just for my own enjoyment, it would be a lot of fun. Let's do it. Let's how can we do it? Can we just do it virtually?

Emoji challenge? Yeah? Do that? Wait? Virtually? Are you talking about what the emoji means as far as the keyboard or what the emoji from the person, the meaning of them giving you the emoji? Page told me the other day that the hands up because I give like high fives or like double high fives everybody, and she's like, you know that actually means praise. Yeah, it's like I'm like, no, I did not know that I'm giving double high fives For five years. I've been giving double high fives. How's

your emoji game? Strong and moderately strong? No, I don't think. I don't think I have much of a emoji game, because I can tell you honestly that I would have used I would have thought this was dull high right, I'm a man, my man, we're on the level. And I do know that I thought this was like clapping. And someone told me that whatever emogi I said was was like praying. So I was like, okay, so I have a couple of them. I messed up. No, I know that's the praying one, but I three of them

in arell. I guess it meant that. I don't know. Yeah, I've got some work to do, alright, Well, I feel like we got to close out the episode. Okay, honestly, that was awesome. Um Uh, all our listeners email your questions to men at i heeart radio dot com. I'd love to do another one of this what men don't understand about women. Next week, we're gonna do what women don't understand about men, and we're gonna clear all of these up for you. In very short, quick, abrupt sentences

make it very easy to digest. Bob, you're the man brother. I hope you'll come back with us. Um, thank you, You're so fun. Danielle Amy, I love you, guys. Thank you so much to our whole team. Till next week, everybody, take care of one another, love one another, and we'll see you back here for another fun episode of How Men Think