How Men Think with Blake Horstmann

I known for? Um? Obviously, I'm known for the Bachelrette season I believe it was fourteen, and then a Bachelor in Paradise season six. Now I'm currently filming Also Store, which is in its fourth episode. But if I had to see what I've known for the most, it would probably be Stagecoach. Um. That was kind of the drama in the big storyline in b I P. Six. Uh So that's probably the biggest thing we all kind of

met down Stage Coach country music festival in California. If you haven't, you don't know what it is, but that's probably the biggest thing. Unknown for Who am I in my personal life? Well, honestly, so you know, I uh, I'm a pretty outgoing guy and extroverted in public. And you know, I, Um, I can be an entertainer a time. Most of the time, I'm an entertainer, especially you know, I DJ now for a living and things like that.

But honestly, UM, I think my close friends, UM and family know that when I'm alone and in my personal life, I'm actually quite the opposite. I'm an introvert. I don't really I really stick to myself. I don't go out during the week you know, I kind of just hang out Netflix, chill, work out, that kind of thing. So um on the weekends. You know, I know how to turn it on everything, but my personal life I'm actually quite boring, to be honest. Um. Three shows that I'm

currently binge watching. Okay, actually I got this because I just started one two days ago and I'm already like a season and a half in. But The news Room on HBO Max incredible writing, incredible show I've been watching that I binged all of Stranger Things are yeah, Stranger Things, And then, um, what other shows have I binged lately? I Mean I'm always rewatching one of those people who need to fall asleep to something to a television show.

Always be watching Community and New Girl on Netflix. So those are two that I'm always constantly watching. Um, what is my favorite food? Let's see here. Uh, I love gosh. I would say my like guilty pleasure food. I love sushi. Put my guilty pleasures food to be like. Probably pizza. I just love pizza. You could any kind of pizza, deep, dish, thin, Chicago, New York, all the kind of styles. I love pizza. Uh,

tell us about my career. Yeah, so you know, obviously a lot has changed since I was on a basherette roughly four years ago. I currently, I've always been a big music guy. I was always the ox cord guy at parties. I was always the guy finding new music on YouTube, on SoundCloud, all that kind of stuff. So I've always been into music. And Um, obviously, coming off

the show, you're giving a lot of different opportunities. You're given a platform, and I decided to know what I'm gonna pursue a passion of mind, something I love to do, and that is music. And so I decided a DJ. And Um, you know, I took classes. Um, I've created my own mixes, started producing, and that's why I do for a living now. Travel the world. Actually three countries this year or this month. Um, travel the world, dejaying.

So never something I thought I'd be doing. Yet here I find myself really, really truly enjoying what I do and loving meeting people out on the road and kind of you know, meeting fans and that kind of thing. So that's what I do. I also have a podcast called Behind the Worse Podcast and um, yeah, so and then of course you know Instagram stuff all that fun stuff. So a lot of different things, but all things I never thought i'd be doing. So Uh, what is your

biggest fear in life? Deep? Biggest fear in life would be probably, honestly, to die alone, to get real dark. You know. I think to be one of those people who you know, doesn't have a family, friends, anything like that around him when he passes. I think that's probably my biggest hear in life. Um, what is my biggest pet? Peeve? Honestly, I absolutely despise being late. I am one of those people whose early to everything and one of the most

prompts humans you will ever meet. I just find that to be late to something is wildly disrespectful to the person you know who was either meeting their person who's putting on the event or whatever it is. So my biggest pet peeve is is being late, and that's not much closer. There's not many things that are even as close to that as big as pet peeve to me? What makes me most happy? Uh, that's hard. I mean, I'll just be honest. I'm a pretty easy guy to

make happy. I'm pretty you know. Um, I don't know, I'm pretty lighthearted, level headed, that kind of thing. I think probably, I it's it's it's crazy because like I enjoy being on stage and entertaining and made people laugh, smile and dance while I'm you know, doing my craft. But then at the same time, I'm incredibly happy in bed binging Netflix. So um, then those are very very opposite on the spectrum. But those two things are probably what makes me the happiest when I'm either on stage

entertaining orhen I'm in bed resting. So one of those two things for sure. Next question, what is your ideal Saturday morning? Uh? So my deal Saturday morning? Um, probably, you know, as much as people think like I go out party and drink all the time, I really don't. I'm working now, so you know, I don't go out to party, actually go out to work now, so I don't drink as much. Uh. So hopefully you know, I

didn't go out the Friday before. But Sunday, Saturday, you wake up a couple of coffee in the hot tub, I go work out, get a good sweat in. Uh. And then Saturday, I either do something you know, with family or friends, something super casual in the daytime or of a day drinker. Maybe visit some breweries, um, go to top golf, maybe play a little golf, that kind of thing. Uh. And then honestly in bed early watching Netflix on a Saturday night. So um, those are probably

that would be my ideal Saturday. Next question, are you more of an athletes or the armshare quarterback? I love that question. Uh, an athlete, I'm both Like I am also that person now who sits on you know, sits in the chair and yeels at the you know, the quarterbacks getting paid five million dollars. But I was an athlete back and then I still him an athlete. But I did play college football, actually was a quarterback um in college. So I I am an athletes. You know,

I enjoy staying fit. I really put you know, I'm passionate about my health and what I eat and what, you know, the way I cheat my body. So, um, definitely I'm an athlete, but there are times when I'm watching some of my favorite sports that I am definitely an arm chair quarterback. What keeps you motivated? Uh, wow, that's a lot of different things, you know. I think one of the biggest things I went through, uh some things you know in Paradise and um, I think a

lot of people counted me out. I think a lot of people decided who I was based on a few you know, stories written, told and stuff on Paradise and so I think, honestly, one of the biggest motivations for me right now is as far as career wise, is the chip on my shoulder. I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I want to prove to everybody that, um, you know, I don't really I don't need the show, um to be successful and I'm able

to find success on my own. Um. So that's probably the thing that motivates me the most right now is a chip on my shoulder. And then um, also my family and friends. You know, I think I have an incredible support system around me and they continue to motivate me. But that's probably the biggest thing as far as motivation career wise. So that's eleven questions with me, Blake Horseman. So now we'll take a little break and we'll come back with some questions from colors. Hi, Alexa, how are you?

I'm good? How are you? I'm doing well? I heard you get a question for me fire away? Yeah, I sure do. Um, my boyfriend and his best friend do everything together. They're basically like attached at the hip and um, like, they run errands together. I'm always trying out new restaurants and honestly, I just want some quality time with him. So how do I ask for this without making him feel like he's choosing me over his friend? Yeah? Great question. So have you approached him at all kind of have

you kind of dropped hints? Have you done that kind of thing with him? Uh? Yeah, I was like, you know, maybe it'd be nice to have some alone time later. But I don't think he understands that that means without his friend, because uh, he showed up to my place with his friends, so the way I'd look at it, So it's good that you've been dropping hints because I

was really my first thing. It's like slowly drop hints before you kind of like approach him about being like listen, like either it's he not necessarily like your friend or me, but it's more of like, you know, this is impeding our ability, um, to grow a relationship. But honestly, I think the way I look at it, the reason maybe he's doing this UM bringing his friend around UM is

maybe because he's he's scared UM. You know. I think maybe he has, you know, an issue with being not necessarily alone with you, but he has, you know, an issue of like what is our you know, conversation is going to be like that kind of thing? What does our relationship look like when he's not in it? And I think that's maybe fearful to him, like what does our relationship look like when we don't have this quote

unquote like third wheel? So I think that's the way I'd be approached it, be like are you Instead of like throwing all the blame on him, I'd be like am I Like am I doing something that is like are you scared to be you know alone with me? Like do you always have to have this crutch of

your friend with you? Like? Am I doing something and then maybe that will at least create the communication and then you can have the open dialogue of why he keeps bringing his friends around constantly when you want to have some you know, one on one time. Got it? So I need to put it on him. Yeah, I would say. I would just be like, listen, like why I just asked, Just be like, why do you need

this crutch of your friend when you're around me? You know, I understand that you guys are close, and I love that, Like you'd rather have it? You know, I don't know you'd rather have it, but you definitely want somebody who has a life outside of your relationship. But at the same time, it can't it can't be too much like it sounds like it is. At least yeah, definitely, Um, I I definitely feel like it's impacting our ability to connect and friends. Nice, but I didn't want two boyfriends.

But yeah, that's a seat. That's a good way to put it. Be like, listen, I didn't sign up for two boyfriends. Like I want us to get close. And I think, maybe you know, I'm trying to be you know, I guess optimistic here, but maybe he doesn't really understand. Just how much it is impacting you and how hard it's become for you and your relationship, and maybe if you kind of just talk to him about it and'll be like, wow, you know, I don't I don't want to lose you and I don't want to relationship to

take steps backwards. Um, I'll make a change, you know, got it? Got it? Okay, I think that sounds fair, dude. I hope that. I hope that helps because you're not the in trust me, You're not alone in this. Yeah, there are a lot of women out there who have the same problem because yeah, Min running packs. We'll put it that way, Min running packs. So oh I always thought it was the other way around. Unfortunately it's both. It's both. Okay, Well, thank you very much. Absolutely, have

a good one. Alexa. Hi Aubrey, how are you. Um, I'm doing okay, I'm doing well. Thank you. I heard you got a question for him and see if I can help you out. Yeah, definitely. So I'm living with my boyfriend where we've been in a relationship for a while. Um, I'm the bread wridden winner, like I make more money. Um. And my boyfriend he just quit his job of ten years. He was really stressed out, and he's looking for something else, but he doesn't seem to be looking as hard as

as he should. Um, And I told him I would support him through his transition, but it just feels like it's taking a really long time, longer than expected. And you know, since I'm making the money, I I want to support him, but I don't want like to feel like a burden, you know. Yeah, yeah, Um, that is a predicament. So how long how long currently has he been I guess unemployed or at least searching for a job. Roughly, Um, it's been like six or seven months. That is a

long time. That really is so first of all, I don't think you're in the wrong to ask this question or to actually just feel the way that you're feeling right now, because that is a long time, six seven months, especially with you providing for him and supporting him, and which by the way, is amazing. UM. So are you kind of are you kind of wondering, like how do you approach the conversation with him, and like how do you light a fire under you know, under him if

you will? Yeah, Like sometimes I'll ask him questions about what he did with his day to see I feel tell me about a new job interview or something, and I don't. I don't think he's catching on. Uh, And I'll be honest. This is actually probably one of one of the hardest situations because men's egos are very fragile, Like coming from a man, our egos are very fragile.

And if you know, we feel like, um, we're to a point where it's like, you know, you're obviously supporting and everything, and then you feel like we aren't that you don't feel like he isn't working hard to get that next job. It could it could become you know, a pretty big I don't want to I mean argument, I guess, or fight if you will, Like just let's just come from my experience. So this is a very

delicate situation, fragile. So I think the one way to do it, at least for me if I was in his shoes, is to be like, listen, it's been six months now, Um, I think you just gotta straight up like be honest with him, because maybe he doesn't think he doesn't understand. I know you said you dropped some hints, but we're not the brightest people. So I would say, maybe you know, like just straight up ask him or

tell him, and be like listening. You know, I don't mind supporting you and this, you know, I want to make sure that you find a job that you and joy because it sounds like maybe his job before he didn't enjoy, because that you know, if he finds a job he enjoys, it will help your relationship so much more, you know. Um, yeah, So I would say, listen, I understand you're taking your time, you're finding what you're passionate about, you're finding a job that you're going to enjoy going

to every day. But at the same time, like you know, this agreement or deal whatever you wanna call that we have, I don't mind supporting you. But if you're not out there looking for a job that you know you're passionate about and that you love, then we gotta figure another you know, we gotta figure something else out. Um. But I would say, you know, it is a very delicate situation, like I said, because men's egos are so fragile. But I would just honestly approach him with honesty, to be

completely honest with him. Definitely, all right. The biggest way to the frame is to be like listen, because it sounds like maybe he's looking, but just be like, you know, I know you're looking for like a passion job. You know, you're looking for something you're you know you're going to enjoy to go to. But at the same time, it's been six seven months. You know, we gotta we gotta figure out something else. Even if it's like him, get a job now on the side, I don't know, you know,

a gas stations and whatever it is. Wow, he finds this job he's passionate about. You could frame it in that sense too. Definitely, Yeah, well, thank you so much. Absolutely, I hope that helped a little bit. Already definitely already have a good one too. And Danielle, how are you blake here? Hey? How's it going? Oh, I'm going I'm doing pretty good, actually doing pretty good. Can't complain. I heard you got a question for me. I can help

you out, yes please? Um? Okay. So I am single and ready to mingle, right and um, I go to bars and I feel like I feel like I'm putting out that vibe. Um, but guys aren't coming up to me as much as I expected, as much as I thought. Um, it's like everyone seems to be on their phones or like in a group. Um so, I guess my question is what would be a cool way to start like a fun conversation or what could I do to I don't know, catch their attention and took away from their

friends or you. Yeah, no solid question, um And I think a lot of women lately do feel this. I mean obviously that the phone thing, and like the them being honestly like so worried about themselves and they don't look up from their phone or whatever it is, and you know, and men are terrified of rejection. Like I'll just put that out there. Men are terrified of rejection. Um. So that could be one of the reasons they're they're afraid to put themselves out there to come up to you.

So if you see somebody, let's say, you know what, you see a cute guy or whatever it is, and or somebody who intrigues you. Honestly, it's it sounds like so cliche, but one of the biggest things is if if you for me, what I used to do is eye contact, right you you make some eye contact and if they linger, I always call it lingering eye contact. If there's some lingering eye contact there, then I think that's when you and men love it, at least I do.

I think most men love when women make move um, as long as it's not too over the top and simply walking up and being like introducing your name and saying kind of buy you a drink. I know that sounds so boring and cliche, but that would work on me every time. Especially And you know what it's like when you feel that like attraction or you feel that you get that lingering eye contact, you're like, oh, like you know, he checked me out, or oh he's like

you know, he's looked over here five times. Then it's like, okay, there's something here. So the way for him to come to you just do it yourself. Just introduce you, can I buy you a drink, or just introduce yourself in general and they be like, what are you doing here? You know, one of those things. But I think the key is that lingering eye contact and just noticing that he's looking at you a few times. Okay, yeah, yeah,

So that's what I always say, lingering one contact. If I noticed shiming across the bar and we linger eye contact, I'm like, okay, time to make a move. Yeah, So that's what I would say it sounds awesome. Okay, good well, I hope good luck out there, good luck out there. It's it's not easy dating. I know it's not. All right, We'll have a good one. Thank you. Right, Hi, Amanda Blake here heard you might have a question for me. We can help you out with he yes. Um, so

this is so awkward. I just I started like casually dating this guy was like the single dad of two kids, and I really like him. We had like a few great dates and um, we're not exclusive per se. Yeah, but um, he also told me that he wasn't like dating anybody else, so um yeah, and like recently he's been going on what he says, our business trips, so we haven't seen each other, you know, in a little while. But um, the thing my question is, I saw him get tagged on Instagram in a photo with like this

girl at music festival. Um, and like, I know we're not exclusive, but I'm just like I'm more upset that he lied about it, you know. And you know, I just lied that he was on a busy this trip and then he wasn't seeing anyone else, and I'm just so I'm just wondering, like should I call him out for line to me, I mean, and also like, how do I bring it up because I was snooping? Yeah, yeah, we all snoop though, don't feel guilty at that, we

all snoop. Uh, you know, I would say the biggest thing is first to find out, right, like, maybe that's his I mean, you know, I'm thinking optimistically here, maybe that's his cousin, Maybe that's whatever. It is. Always find out before you you know, more or less like getting mad at I'm always find out if it's true. So the way I had approach um, the opening to the conversations being like, listen, I just want you to know we're not exclusive. I know that, you know, we've talked

about that. But at the same time, I want to be safe. Um, so I would like to know if you are sleeping with anybody else, if you are seeing anybody else. Um. I know. Actually, honestly, I've been approached that way, and I thought it was a really mature

and a great point, you know what I mean. And I was like, Okay, you're right, like we do need to talk about this because this is you know, you know, sexual safety or whatever you want to call it, is something that is really important and so to me it was like, okay, you're right, I need to be honest, completely honest. So that would be how I approached to find out whether or not, you know, he is seeing

anybody else, he's sleeping with anybody else, whatever it is. Um. And if he straight up says, you know, no, I'm not, then maybe be like, well listen, I'll just be honest. I saw this picture of you, tag like, I just want to know who this is. It'll be interesting to see if he fumbles around a little bit, if he uh, you know, he looks to the left or whatever it

is that they do in people life. Um. And if he you know, if he's caught red hand, or if he's honest and he's like, yeah, I am, you know, kind of seeing somebody else, then you have to decide is this do you want to be exclusive? Because sometimes it takes a little you know, kicking the stomach to realize that you want to be exclusive with somebody. You know, sometimes it takes something like this to realize, oh, I care about this person more and I think and it

could happen for him too. Maybe he realizes if you say, you know, I'm now like, I just don't really feel comfortable. He might be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, um, I'll dump this other person all stop seeing this other person. I'll be with you. So um, that's kind of crossroads I think you'll be at after you figure out if he's seeing anybody else. It's like, do you decide if you still want to continue seeing him and you want to make it exclusive, or maybe does he still want

to see you and make it exclusive. So um, this one little conversation can actually lead to a pretty big breakthrough I think in your conversation or in your relationship. Yeah. I love that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's kind of how I approach it. Hopefully that helps a little bit, because that is not easy. I've been there, We've all been there. No, it's not easy. But that gives me at least a direction to go in because I was

just flailing. Yeah. Yeah, hopefully it helps. Yeah, Like that's a good way to put a direction in direction to go in. So yeah, okay, thank you so much. Astute Amanda. Yeah you have a going too. Hi, Rebecca Blake here, how are you? I'm good? Are you? Oh? I'm doing all right? So do you might have a little problem. I can maybe help you out with Oh, yeah, so you know, my best friends, we've always been very open about talking about our relationships, but now their relationships went

so well. They're all married, but I'm not so so like now our conversations are different and I'm the only one talking about my relationship, and like their marriages are different. I get it, like marriages marriage, but I feel like they aren't really adding any input anymore. And I'm not really sure if, like, should I keep giving my dating information and all of that, or should I just back off and realized that this is just the way it is. Yeah,

good question. First of all, I know exactly how you feel. All my friends are married with kids, Like, it's crazy. I went to a bachelor party the other night and it was like us, I was like, you guys are all married, aren't you, Like it was crazy. So I

understand where you're coming from. Um, I think personally, you know, again, you know, I'm not entirely show obviously can't get in the brains of your friends, but I think maybe they in a way feel guilty talking about, you know, their relationship and what they've learned and things like that, because maybe there's you know, there's obviously the stigma like you need to get married and you have kids, all this kind of stuff, and so maybe they're feeling they're trying

to put your feelings first. Uh, and they're kind of worried about, you know, hurting your feelings by talking about their relationships. So one of the easiest ways I think maybe would just to be approaching me, like, listen, it doesn't bother me that you guys are in a happy relationship, Like it is something I'm striving for, and I would love your input. I would love you guys advice even more now than maybe before because you have found the person,

you have worked through issues, problems, whatever it is. So I would just be honest with and be like, listen, you're not hurting my feelings, like I would love to hear and put from you guys, because I think maybe they're just scared to hurt your feeling. Yeah, yeah, I know we still have a good friendship, which is that

dynamics change. So yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, I think just maybe that and especially if that's the only thing that's changed, if you still have an incredible friendship, you guys talk about everything else, but that's the one thing that you're not really talking about. I think maybe they're scared approach to breach the subject just because it might be uncomfortable for you. So maybe I would just express to them it's not uncomfortable and please, you know,

help me out. We need some of to So yeah, well I'm not the babysitter for them yet. So you got yeah, Yeah, that's good. That's a good thing. It's coming so awesome. I hope that helped a little bit. All Right, cool, thank you. Yeah, absolutely have a good one. You already, Well, that will do it for our callers. We're gonna take a little break here and then we're gonna ask some questions answers for me already and we're back now and we're gonna ask some Q and A

to me here. Uh. So we know you're from the Bachelotte fourteen season with Becca Koufern. How much has your life changed since then? Honestly, it'd be easier to ask what has stayed the same. Uh In the last four years, my life has completely changed and almost almost every aspect, to be completely honest. You know, I was before the show. I was selling beer. How I was working for Coopers. I was a beer sales rep for Coors Distributing Company

here in Denver, Colorado. UM, I'm obviously not doing that anymore. I have some other opportunities. You know, I'm djaying full time now and traveling dj um and then also you know, I have a podcast of my own Behind the Worst Podcasts. And one of the coolest things about you know, coming on off, I should say, coming off a show like the Bacherette is the incredible opportunities and people you meet.

And one of the things I do cherish and I do pride my cell phone is UM, nurturing relationships and nurturing you know, being a good networker if you will. So I think when I come off the show, I met some incredible people, people I never thought i'd meet, you know, celebrities, UM, incredible, you know, people in in industries like world leaders and industries like just crazy crazy stuff.

And you know I'd be able to really cherish those relationships and nourish those relationships, and UM, gotten some incredible opportunities from it. And honestly, I travel now. I mean I'm hitting eight cities this month, so travel like crazy. Um, My life is way way a lot, you know, a lot crazier than before, and I love it. I love it to it agree, I'm definitely not bored. But at the same time, I do miss the the routine of a regular life. Um. But I'm happy where I am

in my career, in my first life as well. Right now, so a lot has changed, to say the least. Has it gotten easier or harder to date? It get asked this quite a bit, and honestly, it's both. It's both. What I always say is things that were things about dating that were easier before the show are now harder. So getting a date, for example, a lot easier. Um. You know, the d m s are full, um, the just meeting people in general coming up, they come up to me and know me. So meeting people it's a

lot easier. Um. But then having a genuine connection, which I think was easier before the show, is now harder after the show. So you know, it's a little harder to know whose um intentions are right um, because you know you have people who maybe just on the Instagram followers I want the cloud or want to meet a famous person that's levet, whatever you want to call it. Um. So yeah, it's some things are easier, some things are harder, things that were easier before the show and how harder

and things that are harder for the show now easier. So, um, it's just as hard to date though, you know, in general, like it's just as hard to date as it was before the show. Uh. You recently came out publicly that you're dating Giannina Jibelli from Love is Blind. You two met on All Star Shore. Did you expect to find love on the show? Great questions. So yes, me and Jean and Nina we did find a pretty amazing relationship

while filming All Star Shore. And honestly, no, I not only did I not expect to find love on the show, but I told myself not to find love on the show. I told myself to stay away from relationships, to stay away from that. You've done that twice now on two different shows. It's a competition show, like have fun, show your fun side. Um, don't fall for anybody, but not. Unfortunately, Fortunately I didn't meet Janina pretty quickly, and um, right away we kind of hit it off, and I'm so

glad we did. Obviously, I'm so glad you know it happened the way it did, because I'm incredibly happy, right now, Um, but yeah, neither of us anticipated finding anybody on this show, so it's quite the surprise, but it was the best surprise. Tell us how your relationship started when we see a play out on All Star Shore. Yeah, so currently we are this week so um, this week will be on

episode four of All Star Shore. And you've kind of seen a little bit of you know, some of our first conversations, some of our first um ups and downs, even in the relationship right off the bats. But at the same time, UM, there's still a lot to be seen. There's still a lot that happens in our relationship in

the next roughly six seven episodes whatever we have left. Um. But I think one of the coolest things in one of the that you saw kind of in the first two episodes is obviously we're culturally a lot different, right, you know, she's born in Venezuela. First thing where just the Spanish, um, her culture, you know, is incredible. And I'm this you know gringo who's just like you know,

your normal uh, you know, all American white boy. So at the same time, we're very different, but we've been through a lot of life experiences, um that are very similar and so we're looking for the same things in a partner, and you kind of see that the first few episodes of us like having these moments of connecting and and realizing, oh, like you know you're looking for this,

I'm looking for that as well. And we we've been through these life experiences that help us more or less deal with, you know, conflict in our relationship or deal with certain moments maybe in past relationships that we would have blown a gasket or we would have freaked out, it would have been the end of things. So it's pretty cool to see, you know, how these life experiences and pass relationships um have kind of created, you know,

this perfect atmosphere for us to create a relationship with. So, but continue to watch. There's still a lot that happens on All Star Shore. Um. How early on did you know it was love? Um? That's one of those things where obviously, you know, I've said I love you pretty quick on the mashirette, you know, I said it within you know, weeks, um, And on Paradise I didn't say it, you know, And I went through a couple different relationships in Paradise, but I didn't want it to be a

rushed thing like I wanted to take my time. Um. You know, obviously for her, she was engaged within like eight days or whatever it was. In love is blind, so I think there was moments where we felt it, but we didn't want to rush things like what was the rush? You know, we don't have producers breathing down our neck, being like say it, say it, Say it if you feel it's say it. So we did take

our time. And you know, although I did feel you know, love for her pretty early on, I did wait until, you know, quite a few months in to say it, just because I wanted to be sure. I didn't want I always said the next person I would go public with, you know, it's gonna be a very serious relationship and someone I could see myself spending my life with. So we took our time. Um, and that's not for everybody. I'm not gonna sit here and act like taking your

time as the answer, you know, answered end all. But for me, it was something I wanted to do in this relationship because obviously me love bombing or whatever you want to call it, in the past love blowing each other didn't work. So I want to try something a little different this than it's it's been fantastic. Um, since you are you guys are both reality stars and in the public eye. Does that add a different awareness to the relationship. Great question, So I actually believe it or not.

I had never really dated in public, you know what I mean, Bacherettes. When it was airing, I was obviously I was not, you know, the final pick. So I didn't was it wasn't dating anybody then coming off Paradise, I didn't finish Paradise in a relationship. So I had actually never dated in public. And I I've seen a lot of my friends dating public, and it is incredibly difficult.

You have a lot of eyes on your relationship, a lot of opinions about your relationship that can seep into you know, you can't ignore everything and I can see in your relationship. So I actually leaned on g a lot for that because she had dated in the public, and so I was very nervous. I'm sitting in act like I was, and I was very nervous to go public. Um. But you know, she was obviously incredible, and she explained

to me kind of what to expect. And actually it's been so far, I mean, really, you know, maybe a couple weeks in. But it's been amazing. Um. There hasn't really been any any moments so far where I felt like, you know, there was you know, people were having opinions and they were seeping into my relationship where I was aware of things are being said in the media on social media, on Twitter or whatever it is. Um, So so far, it's been amazing and the support has been incredible. UM,

and it's been easier than I anticipated. I'm sure that's will change. Um it's ever easy to date uh in the public eye. But UM, yeah, I can't really speak to that so far because it's all been it's all been pretty awesome and pretty amazing. So next question, UM, why did you wait to publicly share your relationship? Obviously we were you know, contractually obligated for the most part two hot our eye ship because of All Star Shore. Um,

you know, it had filmed in December. We went public just a few weeks ago, so it's been about almost seven months. We've been dating for seven months privately, and actually I'm so glad we did. Um, it's been you know, putting that added pressure of the public eye on our relationship very early, I think can be hard on a relationship. Um, and although you know we did, you know, at times want to share, you know, what we have and share some really fun moments that we've had together of the

last seven months. At the end of the day, we're really glad that we did wait. And we're really glad even if it was quote you know, more or less quote unquote forced, We're so glad we didn't. I think if we did it again, even if we weren't forced, we'd wait until a relationship really had a solid foundation of solid core before we decided to go public. Um. Yeah, So I'm glad we did what we did, and I'm

glad it worked out the way it did. But I'm glad republic now, I'm not gonna lie honest some dating questions. Is it true when a man wants to be with someone, he will be with her no matter what. So I've I'm old enough. I'm thirty three, right, I've been in a lot of different relationships, Um, a lot of crazy relationships,

you know, based on just reality TV alone. UM. I used to think, yes, I used to think if a man or a woman wanted to be with somebody, they would make worth work no matter what, Like that used to be a philosophy of mine was like, if you want to be with me, you'll be with me. If I want to be with you, I'll be with you. But the more I've learned, the more I've grown, the more life experience I have, I realized that there really is a thing called bad timing. I truly do believe that.

And I think there are certain relationships that will work at a certain time in your life and certain relationships that won't. And I'm one of those firm believers that you do have multiple loves in your life. There's like, you know, I can't remember what movie or maybe even a book that I read where it was like, you know, there's certain loves in your life at certain points in your life when you're ready to accept certain amounts of love. So I think, No, I don't think to answer the question,

you know. Finally, No, I think that there are certain moments in life where you are willing to accept love. And you're a good point professionally, personally we're able to accept love and give love. So no, I think, even though maybe you have this intense feelings and you know, if you're passionate about somebody, sometimes it won't work because of timing. Uh so, yeah, that's something that's changed over time.

But no, I think there are You have to be ready to accept love and give love just as much as your partner, and sometimes that that's you know, neither or both or one isn't ready to do that. So timing is everything. I really do believe that. Do you think it's better to call or text when you're starting to date someone? Oh? I hate being on the phone. I am one of those stupid millennial gen's whatever you want to call us on one of the gen X gen zs whatever. I do not like talking on the phone.

So for me, especially to start a relationship, texting texting for me is huge. Now I am not a like, I don't play the game of like I'll wait a couple of hours of text back. I'm you know, I text right away, especially when I'm into somebody or I'm dating somebody at text right away. Um so I think that's more of a red flag. Is like, if you're texting and they wait six seven hours of text back days the text back, then that's like they're not into you.

But once you get to a certain degree, Actually, I think not even phone call like I think, I skip phone call, I go straight to face time. Like face times are enormous, and relationships, um so texting to start, skip phone calls, go straight into facetiming. That's that's my advice, or at least that's what I do in relationships. Okay, Well answer uh last question here. Do you think it's always the guy's job to pay for the first date? This is a great question, because, um, the first date

changes things. I do think maybe that first especially if he asked you on a date. I think if he asked you on a date, women, and he takes you out, he picks the date, he picks you up, whatever it is, I do think then you know, he should pay for the first date. But then I think moving forward, I'm very much a fifty fifty kind of guy, Like I very much believe that, like you know, you pick up one date, he picks up the next. You split dates,

you split bills, whatever it is. But I do think that first date, especially if he asked you on the date, I do think that he should pay for the first date. But hey, if a woman asked the man on the date, maybe she should pay for the first date. You know what I mean? I'm not into the whole you know, nine should pay for everything thing. I think it should be fifty um, and I think, um, I think everything internation ship should be fifty so not just the money,

you know. So so yeah, that'll do it for questions. UM. Yeah, so thank you guys so much for listening. Really appreciate again. Money is Blake Horseman. Um. You'll see me out there on the road dejaying spinning hopefully in a city near you. You can check out my schedule at Blake Horseman dot com, where you can follow me on Instagram at billock A dot h Um. I do post you know, kind of the city's albeit I'm in a lot of different cities

every month. And then follow and listen to Behind the Rose podcast on Instagram and uh on anything you listen to your to your podcast, whether that be UM, Apples, Spotify, all that stuff. UM, so tune into that. And yeah, thanks for listening to How Men Think? And I hope you enjoy this and hope I was able to help out a little bit. This is How Men Think and I Heart Radio London Audio Production listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pot guess