Gavin an Important Conversation

thanks for having me. What in the hell could Brooks be doing? Right? No one has anything to do right now. I have no idea, but apparently during the gigantic worldwide pause of action, Brooks has a very busy schedule and can no longer be here with us today. Well good for him, and I'm glad someone's making some money out there. I guess he must be working on the cure. Yeah, well good, hurry up because I'm getting a little uh stir crazy. But thank you so much for be on

the show. How are you now? I haven't seen you sense man and Pebble Beach for the uh, the A, T and T pro and how you been man? Been great? Man, been great? And then not so great because this whole thing hit and first I was awesome, and then I realized, I'm not gonna see anybody for quite some time, except unless I have to go to the grocery store. Mm hmm. It is Nashville, bananas. Is Nashville completely shut down? Like Los Angeles is a ghost town right now? Oh? Man,

I forget about it. It's crazy. I mean, usually if you were on Broadway in Nashville, which is really the the epicenter of activity and nightlife, it's sort of like, uh an amusement park of drunkenness and partying. Uh. Usually you'd see just an absolute sea of people having the time of their lives. Uh. And now if you go down there to that same street, it's basically just a jogging path for the occasional person who wants to be

out taking a a little loper. Yeah. Well, we're definitely raising We're living in some weird times, man, And I think this show is going to be helpful for a lot of people out there feeling the same thing that we're feeling. And so we've lined up a bunch of really good guests to kind of like get us through this situation coming up in a little bit we're gonna

talk to Dr abe Um. I mean this guy is uh super like into knowing everything that's happening with the pandemic, how people are dealing with it, what people should be who, what people should be getting tested out there. We're gonna ask him all those questions, um that you probably have yourself, and then very excited, a little bit later, we're gonna have Candice Cameron. You know her from DJ from Full House,

full Er. He's amazing. Her brother and her, Kirk Cameron and Cannis Cameron are putting on this thing called Hope Rising, which is basically just raising money um for the people that are really on the front lines helping out and trying to get this pandemic behind us. We're gonna find out all about that, and then a little bit later we're gonna have Dr Vivan. She is the doctor of Marriage and Family therapy, uh and the certified sex therapist and the expert on the show Married at First Sight.

So for all of you, uh you know, crazy cool cats and kittens out there who are wanting to kill your spouse, Dr Viv is going to explain why you shouldn't do that. I'm very excited to be guest hosting this episode of How Men Think. Um Man, We're lucky to have you, man, lucky to have you. Let's take a quick break and when we come back, let's talk to dr Ab. Yeah, perfectly, let's get to it and we are back on the How Many Think Podcast. Wells

Adams uh philling in for Brooks. Gavin is on the phone all the way over in Nashville, and we are bringing into bringing into the show right now, dr Abe malc And he's a founder and medical director of Concierge m d l A. It's a home based concierge medical practice in Los Angeles that focuses on well care as opposed to sick care. We've got a lot of questions, Doc about this pandemic. Why does vaccine? That's a good question.

There's multiple steps that go into creating a vaccine. So it starts with identifying the virus, sequencing the viral genotype, replicating that into a lab. These are steps that we've actually gotten fairly good progress on so far. The next step off to that is to figure out what delivery mechanism to get it into animal studies, which is the first step, and then you need to do uh, small scale human trials where you test this efficacy and the safety of the virus, of the of the vaccine, and

then ultimately can be widely distributed. But we all know that with vaccines there's a ton of controversy and we has to be done safely because the last thing you want us to create a vaccine where actually infects people and doesn't give them immunity. This is I don't know, unprecedented.

I guess it's like nineteen eighteen or whatever. But um, are we or is the medical community kind of like skipping steps in the creation of this vaccine because they want to get this thing fixed sooner rather than later. So essentially all laboratories are diverting their efforts from other vaccines to the coronavirus vaccine. So there's vaccines that are being worked on for malaria and other drugs that all

those resources are now being imported into coronavirus. So in that sense, yes, So I have a question regarding that how how much information sharing is there between in each of those labs or as each one of these labs kind of working independently trying to come up with their own uh solution. Yeah, I don't know. The exact answer

to that question. But you know, you do see reports of like Bill Gates Foundation, for example, working with government agencies because he's got a very robust infrastructure for developing vaccines. So I'm sure there's some inter disciplinary into government agencies cooperation. Um. But that being said, I would imagine countries are trying to win the race of developing a vaccine because it's very you know, uh impactful for their own country and

their reputation in the world. Right h. I don't know if, if if this has been like confirmed, but you know, the news that I watch, you know, talks about these wet markets in China, and like there's a good chance that's where this thing derived from, whether that's a reality or not, Like how just dangerous are those places? And like why is it if they are dangerous, why is it acceptable for them to continue to be operating. That's a really good question, and I don't think the copy

utit this answer. I don't we don't know exactly when the virus came from, you know. There I'm not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but there is actually bio laboratory in Wuhan Infectious which is doing infectious disease studies. So it's a coincidence that that city happened to be the city where this all started. So I don't even know if it started in the wet market, but the theory with behind wet markets is that, yeah, you're bringing

in animals who have diseases and there's unsanitary conditions. Most diseases don't transfer from animals to humans, but clearly COVID can, and you know stars before it. Uh. So the answer your question is if we had the control to shut down wet markets, I'm sure we would, but they're in a sovereign country that we can't control, so there's not much we can do about that. So so what can we as the average UH citizen due to bolster our immune system? Is there other than eating healthy? I mean?

Is there? I mean, is is there anything we can really do other than just isolating ourselves? Yeah? I mean, and now, and I'll give you some context. So I have a concierge medical practice, and part of the concierge practices that my patients checking with me regularly, not only when they get sick, so they tend to be a little bit healthier throughout the year and all of those patients who have gotten this virus have have been fine and had none of them that had to go to

the hospital. So having a strong immunitis have definitely makes a difference here. Uh. There are oral vitamins you can take, like vitamin C and zinc which are really helpful for your immune system. Small things like making sure to get enough sleep at night is really important. Avoiding alcohol and tobacco, especially tobacco products now that the disease seems to affect

the lungs. Um. I'm not going to get into too about the medications that you can take, but you've all heard there's there's you know, a couple that are out there. There's some controversy around them. But in my practice, I am prescribing into my patients, so I think there's the benefit outweighs the risk. Well, which which are you which are you recommending? I mean not as a solution, but

as a suggestion. Yeah, the hydroxy chloroquine UM, I'm prescribing at a very low dose for patients as a prevention a lot of side effects that people are getting. Someone are actually at the treatment doses which are quite quite a lot higher than than the preventive doses. Um at the challenge of that. A. It's hard to get and be you may be taking medication away from someone who needs it for the rumor torred arthritis or another issue.

So I'd say that very carefully. Well, you know, you have to talk with the physician first about taking it. What's the thought process and the reasoning for hydro flee or whatever working hard. So essentially an immune modulator, so it modulates your immune system. The idea is that the same way it prevents malaria from affecting your cells, perhaps it could prevent coronavirus from effecting yourselves. Got it and did didn't They didn't? They sort of accidentally uh uh.

In essence, there's sort of an accidental sort of discovery when they were looking at people who were I can't recall the exacts, but weren't people with lupus not getting infected or something like that because they were kind of on something like this or something some sort of story like this I read. I don't know if that's exactly, but isn't that kind of how they Yeah, the Chinese were really you know, early in the kind of the

usage of experimental treatments. Obviously they had. I don't recall exactly how they came across that actually colorquin, but they were they had done early studies on it, and I believe in South Korea Japan it was used as well. So it was really really right experiments in Asia? Right? Not interesting? So what does our new normal look like like going forward? How is the world going to change? Like? What what are we gonna need to do now going

forward after kind of dealing with this? Yeah, so you know, I don't have a crystal ball, but my sense is that what's going to happen is eventually this will die down around you know, July or August in the summertime, and then we'll probably have some like some some semblance of return to normalcy. Obviously we likely won't have group events like basketball games or music festivals or things like that.

I think essential businesses will reopen, uh, And then I think, sadly, this may cycle back again in November, December, you know, in the wintertime, and we'll have to kind of go back to doing some level of quarantining to help prevent the spread. Ultimately, once we have a vaccine, we can then treat this similar to the flu. Life goes on every year we have a flut, we get a vaccine. That's that's unbelievable. I mean, those numbers are those projections

are just just crazy. I mean, so, you do you feel like this, this will be sort of our normal at least to the month of July, UM, this sort of self quarantine UM lifestyle. Well, I think it's going to be a gradual reintegration into normal behavior. So I don't think you'll have group events for a long time, if if at all, this summer. I think, you know, we'll have, you know, interactions with our friends and loved ones.

Maybe restaurants may reopen, but I think beyond that, I don't see anyone taking steps to to reopen society completely. That's absolutely crazy. Yow, I hope I'm wrong, man, dog, I hope you're so wrong. Man, that's crazy. Yeah, that's that's like the opposite of being a human. I mean, we're we're we're supposed to socialize, We're supposed to be

near near each other. You know, it's a pretty incredible social experiment we've done here, because for the most part, this disease really isn't that deadly for for most young people. But we as a society and made the choice that we're gonna support our elderally, are are the sick those with chronic conditions to ensure that they don't offer and we're all taking the brunt of it. In a way, it really speaks volumes to to our our perspective as society. So is there such a thing as herd immunity for

something like this? Yeah? But the issue, the problem with herd immunity is that in order for that to happen, a lot of people have to get infected very quickly, and our our hospital the capacity to handle that many uh sick patients. If we had five to ten times the number of hospital beds and I see you beds, we could do something like that and then everyone would get yea. So so not not not to get to

the nitty gritty, but you said hospital beds. But even if we did, would we have the hospital staff to cater to those beds? Right? So? Yeah, I would throw into that, you know, protective equipment, inventil later staff. I meaning, if we had the five times the amount of capacity, we we can handle this very different than that we're handling it now right right? Interesting, that's just crazy stuff, is there? Any more information out there about like, um, you know, if you get it, how long you are

contagious with it? Can you get it again? That kind of stuff. So I don't think the CDC or anyone has given you know, significantly accurate guidelines for this. I can only speak anecdotally where I've had patients who have tested positive on nasal swab for up to a month after getting it, meaning they still have active viral RNA in their nasal passages. That being said, there's spouse or loved one who were with them after they quarantined for

two weeks hasn't gotten it, So it lends. It leads me to believe that it may stay in your system for for up you know, weeks or more, but you may not be as infectious after a week or two. Okay, So do you think less importantly that this uh will open up the idea of carpool lanes two single drivers because no one is allowed to be to each other anymore. Listen it for a doctor that does house, cause this is the greatest thing in the world for me. There's no one on the freeways, so I hope the trauma

well at some point I've never seen I'm so beautiful. Yeah, I got better report that at Yosemite has now been coming overrun by animals and wildlife, and it's kind of a nice thing, you know, to see that happened. Wow, incredible. Yeah, I think, like I'm so I'm like, I'm so speechless.

It's it's hard for me to even I'm still processing even to your the information that you gave about about those those timelines are so um, they're not even palatable to me, you know what I mean, just because my life is so my whole world is so is social essentially, you know what I mean. My business is social, my career is social. So it's so it's it's so outrageous to hear these uh, these these projections are just so unfathomable. The one thing that could could affect that is the

is the availability of widespread testing. So right now we're more but with very little data as to who has the virus and who doesn't. But if you can imagine a world where tests were available at any time, anywhere you went, we could essentially have group outings as long as everyone tested negative prior to coming to the outing.

So what called you at What I said is that if the government gets his act together and to get a coordinated effort to massively expand the use of testing, then theoretically we could have some of those larger social events. Is there is there? Is there? This is outrageous, but um could you ever foresee some version of a UM But it's sort of a quilted version of an approach of her immunity where you take counties and you say we're going to try to grow a herd and make

a herd immunity happen in this region. Everybody, go about your business, go socialize, tuck away all the people who are immuno compromised before that, get them out of town, put them somewhere else for a temporary amount of time a month, two months, let that area essentially intentionally self contaminate, go through the process, develop a herd immunity, and then send the immuno compromise people back into the region. Yeah.

I think we'll probably see something along those lines with immunity bracelets, perhaps where you know you can't just community bracelet and now you are you can go to green zones, but you can't go to red zones or yellow zones or something along those lines. I don't know. How that would look exactly, But that is for reopening society. Crazy. How do we get involved with the manufacturing of that bracelet company? Exactly? Well, no one's They can probably make

these respense instead. That's incredible. Hey, Doc, is there anything that we didn't ask you that we should have? Uh? Now, you guys covered all the main The main things you know, are testing that's really important to to really overcome this quarantuning in the meantime and eventually a vaccine um. So you guys touch and I would I would, I would like to calm some of the hysteria for people that that what I've seen in my practice is this is

not as deadly ash as maybe as first reported. So while it's really important to quarantine landing the curve, you know, I think people don't need to buy seventeen rolls of toilet paper when they go to the grocery store. I think we can calm some of that hysteria. I couldn't agree more with you there. Well, Dr thanks still much for being on the podcast. If people want to find out more about you and your practice, where should they go?

My practice called Concierge I'm Los Angeles. Website is Concerge m d l a dot com and on Instagram Concierge M d l A got it, Kayler, Thanks for your time, man. My pleasure is pleasure talking to you guys here you too many, Bud all right, welcome back to what's the name of your podcast? How Man Think? Well? Um so good. I'm alongside Gavin the gra Um. It's up. Well, thanks for coming on today. Man, you are guest hosting. Is what you're doing? Well, here's my question to you, man,

what guys that are on your show doing? Like what could they possibly be doing right now that makes it so they can't do this show? I think what happened was they heard that I was going to be part of it, so they all bailed and you were like, I don't see the problem, I'll do it, and they were like, oh, he doesn't know what he's in for.

Al Right, Well, I'll tell you what. I am excited about the next guest we have, because well, I am a huge I grew up a huge T G I F fan and a huge fan of the show Full House, So have didn't we all? Dude? I mean, by the way, can you still sing the Full House theme song? Like? Do you know all the words. M I don't. I don't think. I don't think I can match you on that one. Can you actually a singer? Bro? Yeah, but

I'm a singer with a bad memory. I be it. It It went whatever happened to predictability, The Milkman, the Papa Boy, Evening TV. I miss my old familiar friends. Um yeah, you're welcome everybody. Bravo, bravo. I mean the fact that people pay money to see you sing and not me is well, that's one of the problems that we have in this world. The other problem right now is covid n um. Can we can we bring in Candice Cameron

to having think because I gotta talk to him. Hey, hey, hello, h okay, I'm sorry, but you just missed me sing the theme song to Full House. Um, yeah, don't. I think at the end of it, I'll do it again for you. I can also do the theme song for Family Matters, which is weirdly similar, and if you sing one, it's hard to sing the other one. Um, but I digress. Uh, Candice, how are you good? For you? So it seems like you're good if you're singing in the Full House theme song?

I mean, you know in times like this, you got to find the thing that brings you joy, that brings light to your soul. And dad Nabbit, if the full House theme song doesn't do that for you, I don't know what will. What are you doing in these weird end times to kind of keep your spirits up? Goodness, We've been spending a lot of time together as a family, you know. I last year I became an empty nester. I three kids and they all left the house and now they're all back now, so I have a full house. Um,

it's actually been it's been really great. Like as a mom, I'm my kids, so I'm happy that their home. But we've been cooking a lot and taken walks and we have gorgeous weather right now, so I ad met. We've been laying at the pool and you know, playing board

games and watching Netflix. That's like the basis of what we've been doing in between the work that we're actually trying to do during the day, which as a performer and entertainer, I'm still working my butt off every day, just doing it from home and and in my bedroom, which is kind of weird, but making it happen. So do you have you have college age children I do one is uh two and twenty and eighteen. I still

have one in hypo. Have you have you taken any evenings where you've allowed them to do the cooking, to taste some of that patented college cuisine for the family. You know what, my husband is like a gourmet chef. He is like a master chef. No joke. I'm not talking just like, oh you you can grow up the barbecue like he's an incredible chef. So my kids had actually learned how to cook pretty well, and they've even

living where they have and with other families. My one son played hockey in Minnesota, so he was living with a billet family and um, you know, they'll take over cooking and everyone's pretty impressed because they got their dad's not not from me. I care not nearly as good as my husband. Do you have room to adopt another child? He's talking about me. Actually, I didn't ask that a lot.

I know, I wish that we weren't in quarantine because I'd tell everyone, come over, come over, come over, Like we love cookie and we love entertaining and having people over. That's like our specialty. Um, we heard that you are doing a really cool thing, a benefit con cert, Hope Rising Rising COVID nineteen. Tell us about that. Yeah, so, my brother and I have put together a benefit concert.

You know, we were watching some of the online concerts that have happened over the last few weeks, and while they have been really great, uh, we we felt that there was something missing from all of them, and that was a source of real hope, and we believe that

comes from God. So we wanted to put together a concert that had really uplifting lyrics and songs and worship music and some inspirational messages from from pastors and authors and teachers that would just really encourage and give grounded hope to people. So we put together Hope Rising. It's gonna be a live benefit concert coming this Sunday. It's gonna be on Safe for the Lives. You can go to Hope Rising dot live and that will take you to the link to watch it for We have like

pre of the crops contemporary Christian artists. We have Mercy Me and cartinan Country and Casting Crowns and Natalie Grant and Kirk Franklin like he was just gonna bring it and then along with other inspirational messages and it's gonna be a really fun, wonderful night and all the proceeds are benefiting from Yeah, we're really excited about it. And this one just feels different from everything else that's out there, and I hope that people find a lot of encouragement

and strength and comfort watching the show. Well, let me know if you want me to do a little guests but I'm gonna pull out a little song for you. Might be the Sooiler House theme song. I love it. I can do that. Um uh. I wanted to talk to you, like, if full House was a real place, how do you think the Tanner family would be dealing with this? I love? This question? Is ever question I've ever heard. Well, wait, are you telling me that? Am I living in fantasy Leanna or something? I thought it was.

I'm not actually d J Tiana all the time. I mean, I guess it makes sense. It's a reality show. I like it much better that one. See. Um So, So to answer your question, which is a funny one actually, other than my own home, if I were to be quarantined anywhere else, I'd want to be quarantined in the full House House with all the full House and Fuller

House people. Because it's a wild and crazy group. And uh, we know that everything would be completely organized and sanitary and just infested with Between Danny and Er and DJ Tanner, yeah, we would be good to go. Like what character would thrive in this situation and what character would lose it the quickest? Um? DJ Tanner would thrive because she is a perfectionist and she loves planning everyone's life, so she would be like in heaven planning what everyone's gonna do

every single day, every minute of every hour. And um, I think the probably like I think the kids. The kids are just gonna lose it. That's it, all the kids, because who wants to be with an over you know, an over perfectionist parents. I couldn't agree more. Hey do you Wand if I ask you another question about about college in your other real life? Yes, um, when they send the kids home from school because of the pandemic, right, Um, as a parent, what is your perspective on that of

you know, paying for tuition and things like that. Are you expected to still continue to pay the full the full price? There is there some sort of refund or is there some sort of of of you know, a payment sort of adjustment due to the fact that this thing has happened during the school year. It's a it's a great question. It's interesting. My kids actually are going to school online. They're getting their degrees online on online college. So for that there there's there's no refund needed because

they're doing it on their computer anyway. Although you know with Sun with Hockey, who is in high school ability with a family. He's home now, but they are refunding money for the end of the school year that they haven't been able to fulfill. And I think that's reasonable and responsible, and especially if you know you are being housed on college campuses and you're not any more. I

absolutely think that refunds should be given right now. It's interesting you mentioned the online thing because I saw a projection that ten of universities in the United States are going to shut down permanently, not just because of how they're affected immediately due to the impact of the virus, but but because so many students are going to see that they can get the same the same criteria online rather than paying a fee to go to an actual campus.

And there's so many ways that they can essentially get their you know, their their validation. I found that fascinating. It is fascinating while to shut down permanently. Um, it is interesting. And that was a big discussion and reason why my son wanted to get his degree online. He's a smarting pants, you know, he's like self motivated, diligent student. And he was like, he didn't even want the college experience in the sense of all the extracurricular activities. He

was like, I want to work. I want to have a full time job, so I'm going to do my school online. And I He's like, I think more productive without actually living on campus. But you know, it does take a specific personality to do that because you have to be self motivated, like one of my other kids. I don't know that that would happen right right different persons. I wanted to I wanted to ask a little bit

more about the the benefit Hope rising. Um. You mentioned that a portion of the of the proceeds for the event are going to Samaritan's Purse or Samaritans. Well, I don't know what what is that? So Samaritans Samaritans Purse has been an organization that's been around for a very long time, but they literally are boots on the ground right now. In New York City. They've got the big white tents in the middle of Central Park. Uh, they have much hospitals and they I mean, they just do

work all over the world. And you know they're they also have other mobile hospitals and hotspots where it's needed. So they're actively helping the people that are dealing with COVID nineteen. And but they do it all in Jesus name. And as we produced Hope Rising, these this is the faith community coming together. This isn't about a particular denomination. It's not about politics. It's just about people of faith

in general coming together. And so it was important for us to pick a charity that was also giving God glory. So how do you how do you do they pay to go to Hope Rising? Um, they donate on demo? How does it work? Yeah? You you please know that you can watch Hope Rising for free. All of us did it for free. We've produced it for free. Every artist is singing from their home. They are giving us everything for free. So no one is profiting one penny

from this event. We all did it out of the goodness of our knowing that the world needs hope, and so we are When you watch it. Thank you when you do watch it, if you feel led to give Samaritan's purse, will have the information on the website on Hope Rising dot Live throughout the show or you know, when you're watching it or online just through the website. And uh, it's totally up just doing what we can and isn't Franklin Graham also affiliated with that particular organization.

He is Franklin Graham, dost know. I mean he's he's a wonderful person, best known as Billy Grandson. So you guys can he's affiliated with Samaritans person. You know, they just do such a great job. Yeah, this is such a cool thing Hope Rising dot Live. It's coming up on Sunday, April nineteen pm Easter and five pm over here on the West Coast. You and your brother Kirk are putting this thing on such a great idea because we're all like, we're all looking to like help, but

we don't know how to do it. And I think it's awesome that you were able to do, you know, use your voice and uh and put this together. So thank you so much for that. Thank you, I really appreciate it. And fined to just say one one last thing, because it's truly a grassroots effort on our part to get the word out. We actually had had a network secured to air this on Easter and they pulled out three days before because of the faith content, which kind of is mind blowing to me. So we were very

happy to Facebook Live jumped on board. But we're just asking everyone to please spread the word, share it that this is going to be on because even if you're not a person of faith, if you just have an inkling of it, but you are questioning what's going on in the world, I promise you you are going to be given hope by watching you this this live event on Sunday. It's great. Well, thank thank you so much. We love what you're doing and we think it's a great idea and it's a it's a wonderful cost. So

thank you for that. Thank you so much, guys, I appreciate it. Thank you. Now for house same song. Okay, are you going We're gonna do the empty house? Okay, the house? What the millman? The boy? Even now, here's the thing that song and then you have it's a rare condition in this day and age, reading the good news on the newspaper page. By the way, Big t G I f fan over here. Just gonna say it, bucket list thing to get to talk to you, So thank you so much for making that possibility. Guys, this

is going to go down. Is like the best of you of the week for sure. We love it. We love it. Thanks, guys, have a good one all right, back on how men think. Very excited for our next guest because well, I've got a lot of questions for her. Uh into the show. We have Dr Viv, Dr Viv, how are you hi? Thanks so much for coming on the show. Um, I'm excited to talk to you because I am currently quarantining with my fiance and I have questions. Well, congrats on being engaged. Well we'll see if we make

it through this thing. I'll be honest with you. So yeah, as I said, we saw that you reached out to us on Instagram and said that you're working double time helping couples deal with new problems. So what is the most common new problem that you're seeing right now? Trying to figure out a balance between what is too much time together and what isn't enough time together. It's it's like everybody has this gauge right now of okay, what do we do with this time? It's a gift, but

it's also pressure. And then if they just want to lounge around, are they judging each other? Are they think, you know, we should be having sex all the time, We should be communicating, we should be connecting. And that's the part that I think people need to give you to there, some grace, to give you to this, some leeway. There's no right way to quarantine. Is there a right

way to have sex in a hazmat suit? Well, the rug round rubber probably isn't going to go very well hold there, But yeah, no, I think that it's really partant for everyone to make sure that they are checking in with themselves more. Now, Um, we can learn a whole lot about ourselves and what makes us tick. And that's all information that's really valuable to our Beyonce's partners, potential partners in the future. I mean, obviously there's there's

this is causing a lot of strain and stress on relationships. Um, what good is coming out of this though? Like, what are the positives that people maybe aren't even realizing but are you know, right under their noses. I think the good that's coming out of this in relationships is that people are realizing that they can just to be together. They don't have to constantly have romance um every time

they're together, they don't constantly have to do anything. To know that you can rely on your partner, but have it be from afar is really important. But then to also be able to say, hey, having us be just comfortable next to each other, that's huge. To be able to just chill with someone and like it and not be judgy and not be an each of the spaces about it. I think that that's huge. So it's okay to be like, hey, I don't want to watch RuPaul's drag Race with you again, so I'm gonna go to

a different room and watch reruns of The Masters. Yes, if you have the luxury to be able to say, I want to go watch Married at First Sight, like tonight, it's decision day, Gotta watch it. Um. If you have the luxury to be able to go and have your own space somewhere, take it and then do what a lot of people are starting to do in switch up locations every day. You don't claim the dining room as your own, and then that's it. Um, you want to make sure to switch things up a bit, that's just

to keep your sanity. I mean, the truth is, we're all just trying to stay samee through this. We're all trying to do our best to flatten the curve and to not have this go on forever. And we we've never been through this before. So if you're doing it in a way that is as stress free as possible, you're doing it right. You should encourage that. What's an appropriate amount of sex you should be having. I'm a big fan of twice a week having some sort of

sexual encounter. When people say sex, they tend to mean intercourse, but you know, there's a lot of other fun things you can be doing, and variety is the spice of life. And all couples to try to do something sexual or sexy together at least twice a week. So also at least twice a week. Yeah, I mean, if you if you have the drive to do more, and that's something that both of you are on the same cage about,

especially right now. I put out like a execty self isolation challenge, and I challenged my couples to the seven different out of the fifteen that I've posted to do seven different of these challenges. If you want to knock those out in a week, that's fine. Well, we don't know how long we're going to be doing it. To take your time, make sure you're not like overdoing it. And again, you don't want to create pressure. This is something where I just try to chill out as much

as you can. Dress is not sexy, and there's a lot of things that are worth being stressed about right now. Whether or not you're connecting on a daily basis in a quality way, in a sexy way all day long is not one of them. We don't need to put that on ourselves right now. Have you ever told a couple that they need to experiment more and then they come back to you and tell you what they did and you think gross? Gross? Have I had a gross moment? Well,

let me think. I probably have thought at some point like, oh okay, I would have never thought that that would turn someone on. But I don't know that I've had a gross um I felt like you've got something on the line. Have you, ever, as a relationship doctor, thought sometimes no relationship is the best relationship at all. Oh, for sure, if you can't be healthy. If you can't be respectful, if you can't be confident enough to be able to just be you, then it's probably not the

relationship for you. But I do believe that there's probably a different relationship out there that will enhance who you are, that will highlight all of the wonderful things that you bring. Now, if you continue to be in relationships that do not feel good to you, you're probably the common factor, right, So it's important to make sure that you're looking within yourself, and now is the perfect time to do that, especially if you're alone in isolation. This is your chance to

really figure out do you like? I always ask people would you want you? And if the answer is no, like that's a tough thing to come to. But if the answer is no, this is the perfect time to work on that. And there's lots of big ways online, especially if you're following me um to figure out how to get to a place where you are attractive, where you are attached, not just in your online The problem is is that quarantine, the quarantine version of me is disgusting.

I have it showered in a couple of days. Okay, you're right, and we're all kind of struggling with that right now, we're like that quarantine fiftine is there and maybe our hygiene isn't like on point. Um, but you have to know that there's an end to that, right Like you have to know that you're gonna have to start cutting those toails soon or else your fiance is going to be like, you need to sleep in another bed. Yeah.

I mean, if you're aware of it, and you're aware that you're being gross right now, we've got to make sure that you're on top of that because when we're out in the same worlds apply. Yeah, so sorry, go for it. I'll just say, what what if it's been so long since you cared that you don't even remember where your toothbrush is? Okay, you're gonna have to quarantine a little longer than everybody else. Um, somebody needs to check on him right now, go check onto. You have

another question, doc, Doc. Are you in a relationship right now? Oh for sure. I've been married to my husband's almost thirteen years now. I'm hoping we don't have to celebrate in quarantine, but yeah, I've my So, when you guys argue about something in the relationship, do you assume you're right, because you're the professional. I always assume that I'm right,

but do I express that. No, No, I The truth is he has some insights just I mean, we're an opposite text couple, so he has some insights into um, just the way that men look at things a little bit different. Of course, I'm learning from podcasts as well, but I think it's always a important to know that

his his viewpoint is valid. It's just up to me to figure out with my skills, how to make sure that I'm listening to him and and that we're getting to the the part, you know, the goal, which is to understand each other better and then change our behavior

to help each other feel like our needs to being met. Um. But it's funny because most people ask him what it's like to be married to a relationship therapist, and he said that the main thing is that we tend to see things from a mile away, like we don't let things just sweep under the rug and lets because we know I see it every day, and you know, him, having been with me for so long, he knows that

things can go really bad, very rickly. So we want to make sure that we're always this kind of like on top of things and talk about things immediately versus waiting a week, month, years. I wanted to ask a question because obviously you're getting a lot of work for people who are in relationships quarantining together, um, But there's a whole another group of people who are single during this quarantine situation. How are they dealing with trying to, you know, go on I guess you go on like

face FaceTime dates or something like. I don't even know process looks like. But do you have any advice for those people out there? Yeah? I mean they are. They are doing these virtual dates, um, which it's not all that different than a real in person date because you're still hopefully talking about the same things that you would.

You would present yourself. You'll probably have to rush your teeth, um, just because there might be stuff in them, but like you want to make sure that you are presenting your best self now. It's funny when I was getting ready for this and I just like habitually put perfume on, so just say, oh no, I smelled really good. But it's like the same, you gotta put this, You've gotta put your best self out there. They're all circumstances. I think it's important to be mindful of what you look

like and how you are perceived by others. That said, you don't want it to be fake. So please don't be using filters when you're doing these virtual dating Please don't use virtual backgrounds to show that you're in like an amazing lot when you're not that. I mean, don't pit people out, don't turn this around into a fake thing. But to get the ball rolling, to get some you know,

some dates out there while you're going through this. Sup Again, I don't know how long this is going to be, and some people really want to be in love get out there now. So question, um, do you do you have single clients? Do you want to start dating somebody?

The vast majority of my clients are in relationships, but the ones who aren't have either come out of a breakup and want to learn about what could have happened differently, or they want to make sure that if that they don't go into like the next dating scene too soon.

Maybe they're not ready for that. Or it's people who have been out of the game for a long time and just want to make sure that they're ready to get out there and know how to date, how to what love is, what their goals are for relationships, because a lot of people don't think about that. All they think about is I want to be coupled up. I want to be carried up with someone, but they don't

really know why. It's more like, what's because everybody does that? Well, Now, if you don't know why you're doing something, it's probably not going to be within your control to guide it and to fix it if it goes astray. Right, What is the difference between role playing the fine line between role playing and realizing someone just wants to be with someone else. Yeah, I think it's how consistent it is.

If you, um, if you're feeling like you're putting on a persona or you think that this person isn't going to like what you really think, then you're just setting yourself up for the end of the relationship is going to happen if you feel like you're constantly working at something. I know. We all say relationships are hard work, their work,

and you have to do it forever. There's a difference between working through communication, working through a problem, versus working through personality differences, and that's something that a lot of people do end up coming into therapy to figure out like is this incompatibility something that we can work through or is this something that is going to continue to

be around the corner all the time? Right right? I wanted to ask you about Married at First Sight because obviously everyone is binging everything right now and you are the certified sex therapist and expert on that show. Tell us about that show. So Married at First Site it's

it's again this very radical social experiment. We pick five and the five couples out of hundreds of thousands of applicans, hundreds of people, thousands of applications, and what we do is based off of what we see on paper and

who we meet in person. Um. We also be background checks, We do uh psychological evaluations, multiple rounds of that, and based off of the information that we gather, we put together these five couples and they meet and marry at the altar, and then we follow them for eight weeks. We help them, um, I mean, we don't hold their hands through it, because we want them to really be themselves, like what we're talking about. We want them to be themselves that at the end of the eight weeks they

can decide whether they want to remain married. Or get a divorce, and it's um, I mean, it's it's always mind blowing what you can learn from watching two strangers try to be married, like literally within it um. And I think that's what people are really attracted to when it comes to the show, is the idea that these people are jumping into this marriage club without ever having been there, without um, maybe sometimes even having good role

models about what marriage is. So some people need more help than others when it comes to being married, and we just don't. We don't really know what's going to happen until it'squality done. Where can people watch it? It's on Lifetime. Tonight is our Decision Day, which is not our finale. Next week is our finale, but it's on Lifetime Network and it shows at eight pm Eastern times, so I hope everyone's going to tune in. I'm so excited we are filming. We filmed this one in Washington,

d C. It's an interesting group, all right. I don't know if they told you, but I came from the Bachelorette and the Bachelor in Paradise World. So psych evaluation six times, and uh, it's weird. It's a very weird. Test questions that's wonderful. Your fiance should be thrilled. I know, it's very It's very funny. Every show I've done, I've you know, they you go and talk to the therapist after the show. UM, and I always say, hey, am I more or less crazy than the last time I

took the test? That's interesting that most people haven't taken six of you. So there's got to be some kind of study we can do with you. Yeah, getting worse. I think I'm the Bachelor impaired show, which is different. Well, I can help. I'll try to do what I can, especially right now. I mean, come on, let's get you set up for when we's all let loose. Speaking of people find out more about you and and like reach out to and stuff. Yeah. Well, my website is Dr Viviana d O C T O R v I V

I A and a dot com. I'm Oliver social media with Dr Brivianna. I just want to help people and who want to find love or in love want to keep their love. That's my thing and um intimating the huge part of that. So lots of fun ways to do that online. That's great. Well, Dr viv thanks so much for taking the time. And uh and talking to us during this these uh, these weird these weird times. We really appreciate it. And everyone don't forget to watch

Married at First Sight on Lifetime. Thank you, y'all, Stay safe and stay sane. Thanks, Thanks Doc, Thanks Gavin, Thanks so much for letting me be on your show today. This has been a lot of fun. You're not just on the show, bro, you're running this show. Well, I gotta say, Um, one of the most popular episodes of my podcast, The Wells Cast, is the one where you are the guest of honor. And so if anyone wants

to I'm serious, people love that interview, UM. And I constantly am getting like d ms about how awesome UM that episode was. And so I think maybe I'm at to have you on again. Maybe we'll like, let I don't know, the world settled back. I'd love you, man, I'd love I'd love to Well. You run a great interview, man. You know you're just you're very Sincerian event and you know you uh, you just tap in and you're you're good at it. You're just natural, very very very natural

at it. Well. I've been up fan of yours for a long time and I mean this sounds saying you're put your posting videos on Instagram and stuff of you performing and stuff. And it's so nice to be able to kind of like during this these weird times check out and you know, just kind of enjoy a ways some of your music on Instagram. Thank you. I appreciate that. Man. I need that because all these vine dances are what have TikTok dancer. I'm losing my mind. I need some

actual talents. So thank you for that. Well, I'm upset you say that because I was about to release my um my dance video and now I think maybe I'll pull it because I was gonna. I wanted you to see my new moves I've been working on. Yeah, it's really hot. It's really hot quarantine pole dance. Yeah, I'm right, I'm excited. You should do it. Just do the TikTok dance and I'll be supportive of it. I thank you means a lot, means a lot um all right, buddy, Well thanks for letting me be up today and be

safe out there. Yeah? Are you kidding me? Man? You ran it, dude, you took it to you took it to a new level. Man, and let's let's connect. Man, let's do another show anytime, any time, dude. I'd love to come back on and I'd love to be back on here. So you just let me know. Man, done done, see wells see in quarantine mh