Gavin a Good Time Part 2

singer songwriter. Yeah, it's a soft ru My middle name is Brooks. Oh yeah, your first name is something else. We know this and so that's perfect because it's just boss like, I love very easy. Makes you really like the name Brooks? Producer Dan, what is it? What is it? Evan Brooks like because we've had the book Flights for you. Yeah, no kidding. My very first name is Evan, but you can call me Brooks keV. Let's call you ev True story. When I was in like grade three, I changed my

name to Evan for like a week. I was like, mom, I was going through I think I went through like an identity crisis grade three because I changed my name from Brooks. I was like, Mom, I want you to call me Evan. And I also changed from wanting to be a professional hockey player to wanting to be a professional tennis player. Why did you go by Brooks? By the way, true story. My dad's favorite baseball player was Brooks Robinson, and he thought he'd he'd love you more

if he went by Brooks. I don't know, and so he wanted to call me Brooks, and my mom wanted the name Evan, and they thought that Evan Brooks sounded better than Brooks even who wouldn't fight Evan or Brooks Brooks stuffer Evans Evan sounds a little more studious. But true story, So I don't want to have a spelling be against him. Do you know who Brooks Robinson is? Do you know who? He was? Hall of Fame third

baseman for the Baltimore Orioles. He was my dad's favorite baseball player back in the day when my dad was in in school, he used to take a radio into class and listen to the Baltimore Oriole games, and Brooks Robinson, oddly enough, was his favorite baseball player. Like this is in like the sixties and uh he my dad said. I was like, what, what did you love about Brooks Robinson. He's like, I loved his approach to the game. And

I was like, what, this is really interesting. And then I got to meet Brooks and I got to throw at the first pitch at Camden Yards in Baltimore, and I got to meet Brooks and he was he was awesome. I phoned my dad right after. It was like, Brooks Robinson is one of the most humble men I've ever met. And he signed a bat for me. Said two, Brooks honored to meet you. See you soon, Brooks Robinson Hall of Fame. Three. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame,

which was the year I was born. That's amazing. There you go. I just made that whole intro about me. That's amazing. Next time someone who cares. I had to feel some space today. I had to feel some space because GAV guess what mission? Mission, beautiful story, mission accomplished, Buddy. I think we should high five. We finally accomplished our mission. Have you washed your hands first? Huh? No flue season? Okay, no, our secret mission of getting rid of Rick secret mission.

Ryan Dmitri are these guys today we're missing our other three dudes, Rick, Ryan and Dmitri are not here, so producer amys in with us. But this is I think the first show that you and I have ever done just solo. Is that is that true? Yeah, because we've always when it just was the two of you, we had like Freddie Prince, Yeah, we had a guess Yeah. Yeah. So finally, Buddy, we did it Boris on this radio island. Yeah.

So that means I have to do even more lifting on this show because by all means have at it. But today we're doing. Today, we're doing one of my favorite things we've ever done. About a month and a half or two months ago, whatever it was, we did an episode called Gavin A Good Time So creative I love. And what we did is we took all our listener questions, we printed them out, we cut them up, and we put him in a hat and then we drew from the hat. And there were two rules when we played

this game. There were two rules. The first rule you cannot skip a question. Whatever question you draw, you cannot skip. And the second rule is you have to be honest. And it was amazing. That was when we got done that podcast. I don't even if you remember it. Um, we all like high five and fifth bump right after we'd like, damn it, that was amazing. We had some

amazing value today and the listener questions were awesome. So this is round two of Gavin A Good Time or if you guys had any other I call it come to things, maybe we should do Evan a Good Time. We could do something close to that. Amy, do you want to lead this up? Okay? Amy? So, Amy, you are the judge, jury and court martial and all of this. You are. You are the host of this, So you dictate who gets the question because you're pulling them out

of the hat. You both get them. Well, who's this leader? Who's who's first one? Who are you leading? With you? Okay? So I can't pass on this. There's no pass Okay, dating than breaking up, then reuniting years later and getting back together. Thoughts, can it be better the second time around? Sure? I've never done that in my life. I've never ever done that, But sure, why couldn't it be? I think you change as humans. I think you have a great

foundation of Uh, there's some history there. Um, there's obviously some fond memories. There was attraction for one purpose or for whatever purpose at some point in time, and then maybe it just wasn't the right time of your lives.

Maybe the attraction is there, but maybe individually and as a couple, you just weren't mature enough you had ever at the right phase of your life to really under stand and also have the ability to communicate what you want, because I think I think that goes overlooked, is that what you want in life needs to be communicated, and sometimes we just lack the skill or ability to properly

communicate or even process what thoughts we have. And so, um, maybe these people have evolved, grown matured and then come back into each other's lives at the appropriate time. So I'm all for it, Shane. Yes, Mr Shane, what do you said? I couldn't agree more. I think that's so well said. Um yeah, coming back into someone's life. I think that second time around is great, but you know, a third time is the charm? Really, guys, Okay, I won't go back in it doesn't work that second time.

Go back the third time when you really got it together and be like, all right, I think this is Legitimately. We can't live like this, we like each other. Yes, I'll tell you a quick story. So Tanya rad our friend, Tanya Rab, that host scrubbing in love telling you her parents were married. I forget for how many years? Let's say fifteen years, divorced for ten years, remarried each other, have been back together and completely in love for another

ten years, like better the second time around? Even they split up again yet and I don't think they will. Next question, why do guys constantly rest their hands in their pants? GeV E d previous elisode. All right, that's cool, but what is this question in their pants? Like where when we're standing, when we're sitting, when I think just having our hands And this was honestly an Instagram question, and I think it's how boys sort of sit, you know, when you're watching TV and you kind of sit with

your hands down your pants a little bit. Oh that's a whole Okay, if you see guys in a movie and they're sitting there with like ears on the on the coffee table and they're watching sports and their hands are jammed down their pants and their crotch, that's total bolt, really it is. Dudes don't do that. Dudes don't just sit there like that. If they are, they're trying to be something. They're trying to prove something or show something. Most if you're a if you're a guy, that's what happens.

Trust me, your nuts, your balls, whatever it gets itchy or you need to move it around, you give it a scratch. You don't sit there with your hand down your pants for thirty minutes. Everybody knows guys really just rest with their fingers in their noses. Isn't that what you're trying to say? You are throwing some in depth comments today. I don't disagree with you. I rested my hands, I mean kind of in the protective position, but not on top of it necessarily not jammed in the pants. No,

not jammed in the pants. Who does that? Yeah? I don't. Yeah, that's you know what that is. That's sort of like um sitcom culture too. It's sort of, you know, the way men are portrayed to be some kind of just over the top slob um, which is I think a typical I started the way men tend to be portrayed.

And also on top of that, I think you're right, there are certain guys that celebrate their slabbed them in that regard of They think that's the most uh vile yet attractive, primal version of self, and that's what should be portrayed, you know what I mean. It's actually funny. Having having spent my whole life in locker rooms, it's it's funny to see it's funny. Yeah, it's funny to see guys try and act like guys because they think

that's what locker room guys do. Like, even even if you're at a public gym and somebody's in the men's locker room walking around with no towel on, just dick swinging everywhere, it's like, put a towel on, man. I mean, in my whole life, in professional law rooms, you shower and then you come out and you put a towel on. It's just respectful. It's nobody wants to see your jumping. They're like, oh, there's a locker room, I can do

what I wanted to get. Yeah, I get that, but there's be a gentleman like I have some respect for people around. Do you want to stare at my junk? Like why are you walking around with no twel or something like that? A guy like sticking his hands down his pants pretending to be a dude that's not a man. Yeah, I agree enough that. No, let's keep talking about this because I think you're right. I think you're spot on. Bro good answers. What makes you you, Gavin you Brooks

feel sexy or desirable as men? Not what do you like about a woman, but what makes you feel like, oh, hey, I'm sexy? Um? Is it supposed to be an object like that nice watch, you're like, some kind of clothing or could be anything. It's a great compliment makes you feel sexy. I think you know when somebody comes over, when they make the point to tell you, you know, you're looking dynamite, or you know, like the other day when when Amy was real nice and she said hey,

what did you do? And I said what did I do? It's just like no man looking good? You know, I say, hey, thanks you. I really appreciate that. That makes you feel good, It makes you feel sexy, it makes you you know. UM, I think I think men really respond to verbal compliments. UM. I can't speak for women, of course, but I'm assuming women also respond in that regard similarly similarly, Um, But men like to be complimented just like anybody else. You know,

just like just like the females he went. You went a totally different way with that than I was gonna go. I was gonna are you gonna go? What can I do that makes me feel sexy? That's how it us, That's how I interpreted the question. Mine is honestly training, Like, I don't train, I don't work out to look a certain way, Like I'm not a physique athlete. I trained

for perform it's to be in amazing shape. I don't do body building or like that kind of stuff, like if you look at my body, I'm not an Instagram model of what you think of like a body. I always think that every time you put up something really short up like Instagram model exactly. So I don't. I don't train for physique, but knowing that I can perform athletically just makes me feel I feel sexy. I feel primal, I feel athletic, I feel masculine. I feel like yeah,

I just I feel super comfortable. And I think comfortable,

feeling comfortable and feeling confident make you feel sexy. I think that's interesting Also that you say that you you train to be essentially capable, not not beautiful, right, um, and I think that's it's ironic too, because I think that a lot of people who a lot of the sort of uh instagrammable physiques like you, like you mentioned, they're not that functional as far as athleticism is concerned, and and and just all you have to do is like the body of somebody who's like a you know,

a boxer typically or you know a lot of these guys who play professional sports. It's not necessarily the sexiest what we are, what we're sold as a sexy zeke. But that's functional. But also I mean, but I don't have any judgment against that. It's it's not no, no, I mean neither. But it's interesting that there's people work out for different reason essentially. You know, if somebody wants to do yoga if fitness and wellness and is yoga

to them perfect? If somebody wants to just run long distances like American runner, which doesn't build muscle, but that's how they feel confident and comfortable perfect. Like I I don't judge how anybody lives their life. I'm just saying for mine, I love the functionality of performance athleticism. Uh, and that makes me feel confident, which makes me feel sexy. Right, So if I was to apply that to life, if I thought, like you, with my workout routine, I feel

not confident. All you got a voice of an angel? This is a good one. Why do guys hate quote dating labels? Like if you say, oh, we're dating or we're seeing each other or we're exclusive, they don't like that. And they also don't like to be you're my boyfriend or are you my boyfriend? They don't like labels? Why hold on? Maybe I disagree with all of that. I completely disagree with that. So in my life and in my mind, this is just me. I'm speaking for me.

Dating somebody is boyfriend girlfriend? So like when you when if if I say I'm dating her, Like when Julianne and I started dating, I asked Julianne to be my girlfriend, like I asked her, will you be my girlfriend? And so they're was no gray area. It wasn't like are we a couple? Are we not? Like we went on dates and then I wanted to be dating her and I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. So what happens when someone's dating multiple people? That's going

to me, that's going on dates? I like when people This always confused me because somebody that people have different descriptions or definitions of the word dating. So when somebody says, oh, well she's dating him, I'm like, what does that mean? Like are they boyfriend girlfriend? Oh? No, they just went on some dates. It's like, okay, I just I don't know what. So I'd love to hear from our listeners dating. Does it mean you're just casually going on dates with somebody?

Or does it mean you are exclusive boyfriend girlfriend? What does dating mean to you guys? I mean my interpretation of it, culturally speaking, dating was always a less serious thing versus someone distinction distinctively saying we're going out, we're boyfriend girlfriend? Oh so going we're going out that. It was always kind of that. That was always the way I've heard it, you know what I mean? When people are like, oh, were I date this someone? A date?

And that's someone I date, it sounds almost like very very casual, you know what I mean? Um? Is it interesting? Maybe upbringing was the complete opposite. Yea, um, but unless you're saying, yeah, we're like we're a couple. Like to me, but I don't know. I think these millennials call it talking. They say, oh, we're talking, and I think that means they're going on dates. Hook Danielle, a millennial, just answered that means hooking up. Talking means hooking up. I don't

know this is you know what I meant? Is that the less serious term for dating nowadays it's called hooking up? Oh, or just hooking up, or or just texting each other. Like dating essentially is kind of hooking up versus going out with somebody and we're seeing each other. We're seeing each other. Is that before dating or that's that's going on dates? Is dating? I'm seeing this girl? I hear that. It's like I made a commitment to you and I are exclusive. That's dating. Like to me, dating starts once

I get the phone number. I'm like, hey, what's your name? Can I get your phone number? Cool? You're my girlfriend? Wait? Where are you going? I didn't know, but I'm now your boyfriend? Come back? Everyar the pickup line, like, can I at least get a wrong number? Next? What is your favorite food someone has cooked for you? M favorite food somebody has cooked for me. We're talking like the best meal anyone's ever cooked for you. We're talking about

a romantic data. We're talking about like my mom's cooking, because my mom's amazing cook. My wife's amazing. Whatever you make of the question I of my mom's cooking. She makes this thing called cooking. It's a German pie. It's awesome. We're really cooking now, we're cooking here that My wife is a great cook too. She's a really good cook. So what's something she makes that you just love? She here's the thing I bought her, like this recipe box

thing because we wanted to do some more cooking. So you got this like custom recipe box is a long time ago. Um, but she's a wizard. She just goes in the fridge, grabs a bunch of stuff, puts it all together, and it's different every time she cooks, and it's amazing. So I can't even pick one. I don't even know as Also, my buddy Christie Swan isn't amazing. She does all this Italian stuff. She's an amazing cook. Yeah,

what could someone cook for you, Gavin? That could like be the way to your heart asking for a friend? Asking for a friend, Well, first of all, I can't cook. I'm pretty useless. In the kid, someone's cooking for you. So everything is pretty impressive to me. You know, like meat loaves, spaghetti and meatballs, steak, chicken, salad. Cook, let's cook that salad. Um man, I don't know. Uh, my brother is about the best cook I know. Um so, damn man. Pretty much whatever my brother is cooking, you

know what I mean? Just food in general, you know, but I like really flavorful food, spicy. Some people like bland more bland food, I like. I like very well seasoned food. I like a lot of flavors. Not counting your job or your career, what trait do you have that you're the most proud of? So I'm assuming whoever wrote this that means Gavin can't say singing and you can't say hockey. Yeah, mine is easy. I've I've said it on this show before, I said, what's I've asked

the question to um. I think it was when Derek, my brother in law, Derek was on. I asked, I said, what is your greatest success? And then I asked myself that question. Mine is following my instincts. So that is my favorite character trait is that I trust myself and I follow my instincts. I like that you know what I had to say. That's a that's a really special one. Um. Um. Picking up on people's vibes. I really picked up on

people's Um. I can't say that I know everybody's intent when I'm dealing with them, but oftentimes I really, I really do catch it pretty accurate vibe on what what their what their intentions are when I when I meet them, or if I feel like they're a good or a bad person, or if they're extremely awesome or just conniving. You know what I mean. Character Um, A lot of times, you know, I get lucky with that. Go hold on, Can I pay you a compliment? Yes? Please? Um, you

look good in black today. So I believe in every in every interaction between two people, there's an exchange of energy. Either I get give energy or I take energy. And same for you, like either you give me energy or you take energy from me. In the time I've known you, you've never taken energy from me. You've always given energy. So every time I see you, and I hope it comes through on this podcast, like we have an awesome time to get and we laugh before the show, we

laughed during the show, we laugh after the show. But I think It's an amazing, amazing character trait for a human when every time you think of that person and that's you in this case, you think of somebody that gives you energy than man and to me, you're very You really take my energy, and boy, boy, do you block me down? An energy vampire? Then you just keep coming around for the compliments of your clothes. But but this is, but this, I think is why you and

I work you. Um you you're such a positive guy, and I find that so refreshing in the in the sort of alpha realm that we rub shoulders in so much of the time. It's nice to simply experience positivity when you're meeting meeting up with somebody. Know, it's always so complimentary, and it's and sincere. You know what I mean. You're so genuine. I would say you're You're genuine demeanor is one of your greatest attributes. You are a genuine person and that's a beautiful quality for real man. It's

very special. Appreciate you. This one's kind of juicy. I did not write it. Would a threesome be something you would agree to if your partner asked, wanted it? M okay, Vin is eating ice cream. Right now, while we're doing the show Man, there's doubling exploding. This is technically it's called mochi, and he's eating it and just exploded all over his hands. As I'm asking this important questions, I don't think I could. I I just no. I It's ask a question again, because all I can think about

right now is this graba you've had that orge. Okay, here's the question. Would a threesome be something you would agree to if your partner asked or wanted it? So here's the thing, Like, it's amazing, that's pretty, it's amazing. Question right, they're going right? Also, what does your bedroom look like? It's amazing? Like how you learn and grow and how in a relationship some some things that you

thought were laws actually aren't. That you you actually become flexible and fluid in in many things that you believed about a relationship when you're single, and then when you get into one, you learn like, oh, like I, I had a fixed mindset on that, and now I have a growth mindset on that, Like you because you learned somebody else's story and why it's important to them, and they challenge your point of view and you look at

things differently in a partnership. UM. That being said, I'll acknowledge that, but this one, I just I don't know if I could ever get there. I just I can't ever see myself being physical with somebody else. Um, I don't. I just I don't think I can get there. Like, I just don't. I don't know valid. I think it's tough. I'd be interested if the partner wanted that to ask why totally, Hey, let's bring someone in. Let's bring someone in. Why? You know what I mean? You know what exactly? You

know what I mean. I love what he says. You know what I mean. It's like, hey, can we bring a third party in? I'm like like a referee or you know what's amazing about this? Um? So, thinking back to uh Intimate Knowledge podcast when Megan shared her story about this, which I commend her that that woman has a tremendous amount of courage for sharing that story. Um, but that's immediately what I thought of when I thought

of this. Uh. And you know what, when I heard her story, if anybody hasn't listened to it, I think second or third episode the episode of Intimate Knowledge, I thought of her too, and like, um, go listen to that's another I heard podcast. But she tells a story very much of this, and I admire her courage to actually that she loved this person enough to pursue something that was like very much not a part of her and not what she wanted. She didn't want it, and

then she felt a lot of shame. Um. But also there's I see so much courage in that kind of love. But then there's the fine balance of like also in love, you need to stand up for what you believe in. But like it was, her story was amazing. She did it for him, and I think she is very She was very forward she did it. She was saying, I agreed, he didn't make me. I agree. But as you see how like unselfish that love is and how beautiful that

love is, like to it is. It is amazing using to think that you love somebody that much that you're going to do something that you just kind of don't agree with or something. But like obviously it didn't just happen where she snapped her fingers said, Okay, let's go with this. There's probably discussions, but I just have an appreciation if you just hear her story and hear her tell it on the Intimate Knowledge podcast. It's actually fascinating. Wow. I mean I listen, I I didn't hear that, uh

that podcast. So I can't really speak for that person, uh specific scenario. But as far as sexuality goes, I can't. I can't. I can't see enjoying an activity that your partner isn't enjoying. And to bring in a third party that the other I mean, just the idea of that if someone if someone was going to bring in a third party and the person that loves them it doesn't really want that, I can't see getting I wouldn't be

able to see any pleasure in that. Like, that's to me so weird that someone would even risk making the person that they love feel that uncomfortable potentially care for it. And and um, I think and and and it's it's it's so it takes advantage so much of that person's feelings for you to subject them to that, to the memory of that moment potentially that they didn't want to

be a part of. And if that person was in a relationship, if that other person was in a relationship with you, and they wanted to explore things and they had a very candid conversation with you, like, hey, I'm not sure if this is for me, this and that I want to go blah blah blah. I say, all right,

you could. I could understand a couple saying let's take a break, you know, you go chase down whatever you need to chase down in your life and figure it out and maybe we'll meet up somewhere down the road. I can't see trying to convince somebody to bring into a third party if I mean, this is so far out, like it's so it's so far out anyway, just the

concept of it so far out. But if they were into that and trying to convince someone who isn't into it to be into it, um, that's just a bridge too far um in my opinion, because you're putting at risk that other person's sanity for for you, and taking advantage of their emotions for you, because they'll go to the ultimate extremes to accommodate you, to the point where I feel like you're just taking advantage of their love. That was Sometimes you say things that are so beautifully profound.

That's very nice of you, but I just can't see doing that. But don't you love the whole, Like you can just feel it in the studio when he goes into he goes into this deep like pocket of thoughtfulness and mindfulness and share something that's just incredibly profound and noble. And because it's such a sort of a oh, let's have a threesome, like it's a conversation that's made very light of I find and it's sort of not that it's common, but it's sort of a common fantasy type

of thing. And then you both really thought about it and understood the complexities of what it would really mean. There's also another thought to this topic is, um, who's I listened to? Who? Where? Where? Did I hear this? There's nothing nothing dirty can exist between two people in love. I saw that too, And so because people it's called dirty talk or dirty time, and it shouldn't be called dirty.

Like I've shared this on this show many times, Like a big part of my journey in he's exploring my sexuality. And by that I don't mean if I'm gay or straight. I mean, like, in my sexual relationship, what is my sexuality and and what am I craving? And what are my desires? And what are my wife's and like how can we have this language to feed each other in and get everything we want and be sexually expressed to

the nth degree and everything. And then I'm so glad you brought that up because we learned from Viviana, Dr Viviana months and months ago that sexuality is all about what you just said. It's not about like gay, straight this that it's about the overall, all encompassing sort of maybe what we'd call a sex life or something like that. Yeah, it's when you look at the words. Sexuality by definition is capacity for sexual feelings. That's the definition of the word.

But when you say sexuality culture society thinks it's gay or it's like, no, I don't like some people are figuring that out. That's fine, But like my journey is is discovering and learning and figure out my capacity for sexual feelings, which in my life have been very low on the priority list. I woke up as an athlete, wanted to train, wanted to eat, sleep, rest, perform, and priority or a sexuality was way below all of that

for the majority of my life. And now I've discovered this and through leelad Deville, through Viviana, through Jaya, through doing this show, and also through my wife who is exploring a lot of this as well and brought a lot of this to to like shared a lot of this with me, and has perked my interest in UM through this show, like I've been exposed to a beautiful new side of life that I never ever explored or thought to explore before, and it's amazing for me. It's connection.

I don't know, I'm interested to see what Gavin says, but sexuality is a connection on level that's so far beyond just your normal connection with people. It takes that interaction and connection with one other person to just an extreme he's processing over here. I mean, I don't know if it's kind of what you guys are saying. I think that question right now because I'm just I'm like really soaking up what you know your personal does anyone

in the room. We have a couple of other married people, and I don't want to put anyone on the spot, but maybe tor too. Is anyone in this room open to a threesome? So when you know when you're younger, when you're younger, like as a as a teenage guy or an early twenties guy, like that's that's all. That's on your brain, like you're as a young dude, you're you're just thinking of like exploring and like that would

sound amazing. And then once you grow and you get some emotional capacity and some emotional intelligence like you and in this stage of my life, like I'm looking for a deeper connection and romance, not well on topic of love,

looking for love and connection. And on top of that, with that connection and with that that the emotional and physical, um, the combinations that happened with that, and and you know, you're tapping into nerve endings and you're tapping into that thing that cannot be touched your scene, And I mean, what more would you need but one person in that moment? I mean everything else would sound like you were multitasking.

It would be like, oh, this is incredible, hold on, this person needs attention to over here, you know, like that it's so far, that's so weird. And um, you know, I mean you know, when you're when you're intimate with someone who you have great feeling for, um, they are all that you want in that moment and after that, yeah, yes, yes, and you are fulfilled. Um and and so um, I can't see the I can't see the experience with more

than one person in a room like, I can't. I wouldn't be able to do that, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I wouldn't. That's a fascinating purpose of the physical element of things to just elevate, just elevates all the things that could not be said or and and that connection is so the physical part of what happens is just it's an extension of all of those emotions and and those and all the ways you see ida in all these other capacities of your life together. Right, amazing,

well said brother Amy. Next question, this is a left turn, But how do you feel about couples therapy? Sure? Why not? Like you couples go to you want a better diet, like, have a dietitian come in, you want a better body, have a trainer? Like? Why can people not do it for their relationship? I think that's actually a sign of health,

not trouble. So many people think if like, oh, people are going to therapy, like even individually, even individually, if an individual goes to therapy, there's a stigma that there's something wrong with this person, that they are broken or they need to be fixed. And I've been to therapy it's awesome. The first time I went to therapy was last year because I was wanting to work through hockey stuff, to to be able to release and let go of a lot of the angst and frustration and resentment and

unfulfilled dreams or goals that I had with hockey. And I sat down with this guy and he says, have you ever been to therapy? And I was like, no, He goes. It fascinates me when professional athletes, the amount of pressure that you guys are under that you don't have somebody to voice your emotions and feelings with. I cannot believe that you have never had therapy in your life. And and then I talked with him and I was like, this was the greatest thing. It was just a conversation

about what I was feeling, what I was thinking. And the term therapy has such a negative connotation culturally, and that's for an individual, and I believe that's for a couple as well. Instead of they're broken or in trouble, they're actually healthy because they are working to have the best life or relationship possible. I see I see it as a sign of strength and health. Yeah, I don't

started to disagree with you there. I think I think someone who cares enough to go to therapy it's a sign that there at least sane enough to know that they need help. Y um. Although I would say that, you know, I think it's I would even say strong enough to say they want wants, maybe not need, but

want help. I agree with you, And I also think that people also have to bear in mind that that there's going to be better and worse versions of that, and there's gonna be people who are more or less gifted at that with you, So I don't think necessarily that someone goes to a therapy session necessarily finds the right person to talk to, you know what I mean.

They may have to go to more than one person to find the person that is the right therapist for them, you know what I mean, Because let's let's be let's be clear, and let's be fair. A therapist as a human being, and and we all know as human beings that some of us are better or worse at our professions, and we all know that there's people who are better at the same profession and that we do, and there's gonna be people better at that profession that you may

go to. So you know there's better singers out there in the world than I am. I know that. So there's going to be better therapists out there than maybe the one that you're going to right now, you know, and and so um, I think that's also fair to say, and something to keep in mind. You might not find the right one right away. It may take you a bit important, you know what. You know? What else is what I did. But I do understand the stigma with it, and I do understand the apprehensions of doing it, I

really do, you know. You know, people talk, even professionals. You know. What I like about like a therapist is they have they have tools and a skill set. So if you have a problem or an issue or something you want to resolve, that's why you go there. You have something you want to resolve. They can come at it and a couple of different ways with different activities or skills or questions or things that they can do to really help you get some clarity on that. That's

and that's where I think they're super valuable. They've been trained in that element and that's really helpful when you have something you're trying to work through, a resolve or figure out to get clarity. The other thing that I think is cool about going to therapists is that if you ever do under in a therapy session, know that whoever you're talking to the therapist is always crazier than you are. Well, you're the one paying them to be there. So are you sure I've had there? Because that really

changed my life? Have you guys? Yeah? I have. I have one that I've seen for this for hockey, I've had actually multiple people. I don't know if i'd call them therapists. UH can call them performance coaches, can call

them whatever you want. But like people that have helped me, even mentors, you call mentors people that have helped me work through some of my personal stuff with my sport and wanting wanting to release any sort of like any sort of chains or remnants are or um anything it still has grip that it has on me so I can smoothly, efficiently and like happily transition to a new

phase in my life. You know what? I think? It's also when people are talking about who they speak to, what they say, why they don't want to go to their therapist or talk to somebody, And I understand that because I don't go to therapist. But I do have conversations with people, you know, and uh, and I know therapists. UM. It kind of reminds you this conversation I had one time with this preacher and I'm sitting in this uh, in this place, and he says me, tell me about

your relationship with God. And at that time, I says, uh. I said to him, what relationship with God? And uh he said, well, what do you mean? And I said, well, I feel like I believe, but I feel like I just feel uncomfortable going to churches now. And he said why and I said, just I feel like I've messed up so many times. I feel guilty when I walked through the doors. And and he says, uh, tell me more. And I told him some more. I said, I feel like I did this wrong, I did that wrong, I

did this, and I did that. And we spoke for well. I spoke for several minutes at this man, very nice man. And then he said to me, when I was done with my little spiel and my my guilt, he said to me, look at me, he said, he said, do I look phased? I said no. He said, do you think that maybe I haven't done all those same things. I said, I don't know, he said, he said, do I look like I haven't heard all of those exact same things before and maybe done all of those same

things before. I said, I don't know. He said, I just want you to know everything you're saying. It's completely normal. I hear this all the time. Mhm and uh. I would say that that was a form of therapy. Yeah, and so I would say that there's many different types of therapists and let's not give them necessarily a title. Just know that they said, there are many different types

of people who do this type of emotional work. And essentially what I'm saying is the help is out there for people who were looking for it, and there's a lot of different ways to start that conversation. Amen. You know, well done is insecurity unattractive, but hey, but full disclosure, we all have it. I have it, full disclosure. We all have insecurities. We all have it, we all do.

Couldn't agree more. Um, And it's actually, it's actually can be super beautiful when you see that in somebody, Like when you see somebody is insecure about something and it's okay, like you, That's part of being in a relationship, you learn each other's insecurities and you try and support people to each other through it and stuff. Um, but when the when the insecurity is almost a reeking of desperation,

that's when it's unattractive. Insecure, Like if you put me up on stage next to Gavin to sing like I'm the world's worst singer, like I'm gonna be our dancing like my wife is a world champion dancer. I'm not a dancer. I am a dance I should say that I am a dancer, but I'm not a trained dancer. So yeah, there's like an insecurity side. Take off my shirt next to Brooks and my stomach and you know, I don't have an eight pack. That's more like a

pony gig. But people that embrace their insecurities, that's a that's actually such a beautiful and courageous and like and like it's an amazing thing. But then people that try their insecurities have a reek of desperation or they try and overcompensate for them or something that that's actually a turn off. Is self deprecation unattractive to you? Or is

it attractive to you? I like self deprecating humor. Yeah, and so I think sometimes there there are versions of Right, we were just talking about this, Brad Pitt has just figured out well because he's so self deprecating and he's so smart and witty and funny that it just makes you love him more. I'm good actor too, you know. And he know he's not just a pretty face. You know, he earned his success. He's got lots of talent. I

would leave Gavin and the gutter immediately. But what if I like bursting the door with the Legends of the Fall music playing behind me and blowing against me? So the you know, I think that there are many different versions of this, this sort of Uh, I'm just thinking, like, you don't even know, but you and Amy are dating, like Abi's amis. Aby's probably telling you about our boyfriends in town. Just gotta think with their boyfriend tonight, you know.

But it's just a podcast with you you don't even know. Well. I think I think that that that the when people are insecure, you know, some people wear it on their sleeve, their insecurities. Some people have really overcompensate for the insecurity. I think I think a lot of it has to do with how we're seeing them get through their insecurities because how we how they conquer or at least deal with their insecurities is very telling about the other parts

of their personality type. And the thing is that we may or may not be attracted to you know. Um great point can add something there when when people when people deal with their insecurities with lashing out, yeah, with anger, with like like they just lash out. It's like, hey, you can just like you don't need to do that, Like we're not judging, you know, like and I don't know, it's just that's that's a really unattractive energy. Yeah, agreed, agreed, or like you know, just too much, just way too

much opulence or whatever. There's a lot of different ways of I mean, you know, when you come come to a town like like Los Angeles and um, you know, you got for a walk and you know it's you can hit a Bentley with you know, with with with a rock just by lobbying it in the air, it will land on a Bentley around here, you know, just toss a rock up in the air and probably land on a Bentley, you know what I mean, Like everybody's driving a Bentley, don't get it wrong, beautiful car, but

there's so much of that, and I think the the the having so much wealth on the surface really helps kind of create that, um uh, that feeling of I don't have enough money, Like when you go out on the street, like oh god, it's like, oh god, everybody's driving at two vehicle and I think it can really

kind of wear a lot of people out. I remember when I first came out to Los Angeles, I just got my record deal, and I guess, by all you know, intensive purposes, I I was no longer broke, you know, because I had a record deal, but I wasn't I didn't have really money to speak of, and I felt absolutely so poor and um so outclassed, and I didn't fit in. I felt like I couldn't afford anything around here.

I felt I felt I felt like I just felt like a broke kid, you know, just because there was so much wealth on the surface here and I had great insecurity about that, um And at the same time, I have to say, on the other side of that coin,

it was motivational. So I think that insecurities also can become your weapon, because your insecurities also become your driving force a lot of times, and so I think it's I wouldn't say celebrate your insecurities, because you know, I don't think, oh yeah, I don't like this about me. I'll just tell everybody that I love that about me. I think it's I don't like this about me. I can conquer this thing, or I can find something that I'm great at to compensate for that thing and allow

that to be the focal point of my life. And I think so and a lot of ways, I think that insecurities are just ultimately, at the end of the day good. They're good weapons for you to find a goal and to conquer the things that are essentially uh kind of holding you down in any way. Do you ever remember in like grade three where there's a like girl in grade three, like with her hand on the desk, like just blue eyes staring at the teacher. So like that's Amy all day to day, both equally bringing the

bringing the goods. Today, I will say that I think our podcast has gotten better. I think our intent and purpose has leveled up with our shows. I am I'm so happy I said that. I agree in everybody stepped up and has been more honest, more vulnerable, no sugarcoating, none of that. Bs, I hate. This is a good one. What is your biggest pet peeve with your significant other or someone you have dated in the past insecurity, I'll tell you one that I don't like. I'll tell you

one that I don't like. The inability to apologize. That's a great pet peeve of mine, because the only way I feel you can hit the reset button in scenarios that aren't going great with somebody is if you can sort of both sort of take a step back, apologize to each other, and then kind of start again with whatever you know, on a new topic, on a new week or whatever. That is. So the inability of someone to say I'm sorry, is it? Really that's a big

one for me. I'm thinking deeply on this and actually when I because I don't want to just give a surface level answer, I want to when I think about it, I think, and I'm not saying this is my present relationship and I'm sure I'm just saying exactly what you said. When somebody has an inability to listen to understand what I'm saying and they immediately reply with something defensive, that to me is a real pet peeve. It's like, no, I'm trying to communicate something that's very important to me.

Don't attack me and get defensive based off emotion. Please try and understand what I'm saying and raise my hand here guilty of doing it. We've all done that, of course, how I learned. Everybody has listen to understand, don't listen to reply. Yeah, I agree, I agree. I think we've all. I think we've all done that. Show it was so good today. Okay. So you know the other thing is like, like you're saying with this communication, like you're saying, listen

to understand, not to reply. I also think because a great level of lost things being lost in translation via text. So I FaceTime everybody have to tell you. I have to tell you in a relationship when you're texting, I have to say, the amount of inflections someone might throw into what you're saying when they read it out loud to themselves or in their own heads, what they're reading

versus what you're actually saying. It's like, couldn't be further from what your intent is versus what they're interpreting, and that that can, that can It's unbelievable the difference of how far things can be misunderstood via attack. So So that's another thing is is inserting the sort of I

don't know what it's like in your girl's heads. But oftentimes if I like, if I'm with a girlfriend of mine, like a friend of mine who talks like says something her boyfriend says or what guys say, they'll put in there. They'll do their guy voice when they're telling me the story, and I'll say, is that how we sound to you? Like that sounds like the absolute what a horrible man? You know, Like, well, what do you mean, horrible man? And I'm like, wait, is that how I sound to you?

You know? What? What are you doing? So she's like, let me read you his text and they'll read me something and and I'll say, let me see that, and they'll just say, hey, honey, how are you today? And they're reading listen to this, Hey, honey, are so guilty of this? We are so guilty and weird. I've gotten past it. But I would text a boyfriend and I'd say like hey, and he would write back, I'll say it very robotically, what's up? And what I would hear

was like what's up? Like why are you texting me? What's up? But like right, and like we text. I feel bad because we're a bit older where we use the phone more, where we actually talk. These young ones that just text, well, they are left. It's brutal. True story.

I once I had a girl's texting me and she would put L O L after things and I didn't know what it meant lots of love and I thought it meant lots of love that she's just I knew she's pouring it onto me here just tonight, and I'm like, I just think you're a friend, Like, back off the gas pedal here, no idea. I've been laugh out loud so recently, this guy I like, I did start texting

the heart emoji? What color orange? Red? And because I'm like, you know, he said something nice and I didn't want to write twenty words back, so I just was like, I'm just letting you know, I'm going to send the heart emoji because it's so much easier to communicate. Maybe go with the orange one. There, the blue one? What is the blue? Everybody like yellow? Orange? How black? Just a cold black heart. This is a great question, but

I don't even think it's physically possible. What this question is asking anything is pib do guys fake do you have to say it? Don't answer this unless she says, do guys fake orgasms? Like women? Women fake them all the time. Well, that's sort of like an old you know, the women always fake it, but like, can men even fake it? Right? I think we know. I think I've probably done it in my life. What how I don't know,

Like you're would use condensed milk or something? Well, no, you can't, you can't if you're doing that, but if you have, if you have a tarp on, right, That's what I was thinking. Okay, Well, I don't know. Is that is that adding value to this show? That question? That was a major question because they want to know. But I men fake it way less than women. It's harder to get away with it. Probably as a dude.

Then yeah, And I guess everybody's doing it because they want the other person to feel like they accomplished it. I don't know, Wally, Yeah, I don't know. Next question, finding out your ex is dating one of your friends. How do you feel it's a little weird. That would be weird to me, That would be super weird to me. Yeah, trying to think, trying to think if I've ever set an X up scanning the brain. Have any of you ever set an x I. I really don't have contact.

I move. I dated somebody, we went out like three times fifteen years ago, and then I set him up with one of my close friends and they kind of like each other. You went out three times, that's different. It's live together or married or something. Do you ever fantasize about being single when you are in a relationship. Yeah, we couldn't. That's a single guy. Um No, let me let me before I just answer this, Let me think about this, because here's so I'm I'm I haven't seen

this question. I had no time to prepare for this question, and I want to genuinely honor the question and actually answer this person's questions because for some reason they wanted to ask that. As when I think of being married and being in my relationship, truthfully, at my core, I don't see any other life for me, Like that's the life that I choose now, saying that any other life is a complete opportunity. If I wanted to today, I could completely leave my relationship. There are no laws or

I am not that I can do anything. I believe in free will, I can make that pivot in my life. My wife could make that pivot in her life at any given moment. So opportunity is around at every second. It's infinite. Yes, that's truthful. Though. Opportunity is infinite. Opportunity not just to be with somebody, but to be single, to be to pivot and change your life. It's infinite. I choose the life that I have. I choose that every second of every day. I choose that life. Could

you fantasize about being single? There are some amazing things that come with being single. Freedom, freedom to explore yourself, freedom to explore others and find out what you vibe with, what you don't, what you like, what you crave. There's some amazing things with being single. But you go to the super Bowl with Gavin, to the super Bowl with Gavin, have a nice steak. Finally, our duet could come out your big feature Evan Brooks. Yeah, um, but could I so?

Could I fantasize about it? Maybe? But that's all it would be, truthfully genuinely to my heart? Do I do I actually want that? No? This is the one time today when I actually wish the other guys were here only once, because I bet you they have moments because they have kids where they fantasize about what their life was, or because people with kids just leading the single life, we are able to track. Yeah, for sure. I mean

I know plenty of guys who are who are married. Actually, I know plenty of women who are who are married, and and you know, we all have a million friends and so and so. A lot of them say, oh, man, if I could you know, if I had to be single again, you know, and you're like really, like, oh man, it's a different world, man, it's a different world now.

It's just different, you know. And like it's a very interesting hearing people who are married with talk like this because when you ask a married person, you ask a married person like, hey, do you want to go I don't know to this concert? They right back, that sounds amazing. Let me check with Bob, you know what I mean. It's like they don't have total autonomy. Well you're, well,

you have a partner. I mean, it's yeah. I mean I think that there's elements of it where people will desire or at least moments in their life, like you're saying, where to be single, to be able to just be whimsical but not necessarily, they don't necessarily want to do

away with what they have. Like Kirk Brooks is in a beautiful relationship, He's in a great scenario, and you know, I'm sure that there's moments that in the back of his mind went to while he's like, you know, I like, he's going to hop in his car one day after work somewhere and be like, I'd like to drive to Vegas right now, just because I'd like to do it

overnight right now, you know what I mean. Like that kind of stuff goes to people's minds a lot where it's whimsical and maybe I'll just drive three hours and you know what I mean, Probably I can't for you, but but you know, there are probably those little moments that passed through where you're like, so, you know, this is just my story, this is just me speaking. I remember so vividly what it was what it was like to be alone, to be single and feel alone and

feel lonely. We've had that discussion on the show, the difference between you can be alone and not feel lonely, you can be with somebody and feel lonely. Um, So we've we've had that discussion. I remember so vividly the feeling of being single slash alone and being lonely. That give that that feeling that's like bottom of the barrel kind of whatever feeling for me makes me appreciate being married so much more because I remember you talked about it hitting a real low. I believe after it was

your mom. You told the story of your mom and um, and I remember that such a low place. Even though in my career I was I was in the best place ever, but personally I was very low and very alone and lonely. So that vivid memory makes me appreciate being married. And I think a lot of people, even when you say they have kids, if you gave them five minutes to be single and alone, they they'd love it for five minutes and they'd be like, no, I wanna. I love my life, I love my family, I love

my I think you're right. I think you're right. And if if they wouldn't, they're obviously in the wrong situation. They should become single. I love this game so much. I want to end today's episode. I want to keep going with a similar We're gonna bring this back again. This is our best I love this, but I want to end this as we sort of ended I think the last time we played this game, BI with a question about my favorite person on the planet. What is

your favorite Brad Pitt movie? Boy? Oh boy, I'm a huge Brad Pitt fan. What is my favorite Brad Pitt movie? Do you have one in your in your head? I loved Fury. I thought that was unbelievable. Did you see that? No? But I mean for me, oceans, any of the oceans. I just I love him in the ocean, all the oceans because he's always eating and he' just looked. He looked so good. I think. I think the reason I like Fury so much is because it was just I don't even know what that is. I have to google it.

It's amazing. Yeah, it's a world an unbelievable film, and his performances is amazing in it. He just said, dude, you know you can see the strain you know what I mean on his face once upon a time in Hollywood. Did you love it? I'm not you didn't care for it. I haven't seen it. It was just my favorite Brad Pitt movie. Troy, that was great. He's just a bad He was great, and that when he's Yeah, I love. I love the part at the start of that movie when the kid rides up to find him and he's like,

I wouldn't want to fight him. He's like so big, and then he leans down to the kid. He goes, that's why no one will remember your name. That slays him. And then he stands right in front of the whole army and then he goes, is there no one else? And he stands in front of this whole army, one man in front of the whole army and says, is there no one else in the army? Doesn't even budge and then the general comes up, and then Russell Crow walks out. He's like, let's cross these two movies together.

That's what the Avengers. Could you imagine? That's what the Avengers basically do. You can you imagine bringing like Gladiator at Troy and any of those other ones? Do we really want to end on that st Brad Pitt is fifty six years old, young god. He looks as in great shape. I mean, let's let's I do like a guy a lot right now. But I would leave for Brad Pitt or Jason Bateman. Why not? New problem? And I told my boyfriend and he's like, I understand, understand.

He also is totally panicking that I just called him my boyfriend. Oh no, that's the right, We're this This might out like a little while from that. We were just toome, He's all, we're barely dating and true, true, answer this truthfully? If we wanted to, could we get in touch with Brad Pitt and find out if he wants to go on a date with you? No chance, we couldn't get We couldn't get him on how many think we couldn't get in touch with him or we couldn't get him to see if you want to go

on a date with you he doesn't want to? Well you don't know that. How dare you can? Because we've never met? But how do you know it's not possible? I only am friends with one person who's kind of friends with him. Perfect, get him in here? Who is it? He's also super famous? Let's face time him right now. We could But no, come Tom Cruise, No, I know who it is. Uh. He sends you, he you send him. He sends you voice memos and you send him text.

So then it looks like you're this crazy stocker. Person said that it's just littered with texts on his page and he hasn't sent you anything back. Thank you for not saying out in his name. Yes, but I knew right away when you said, okay, so he's like my most famous friend that has the most famous friends. So do you know that? Ke? Oh, we're so tight. They're they're work o buddies. Totally. Yeah, Taco Tuesdays we do together? Is his body? That's right, that's my body double body double?

When is true? When the lights go down and they're doing like a silhouette shot, like Gavin just goes backstage, has a whiskey and did just bring Brad out. I you know, when all those award shows were happening and he was giving those acceptance speeches, I was like mesmerized by him, just mesmerized. Like I remember sitting on the edge of my bed when he was doing the SAG Awards like a month ago, and I just couldn't move. I was like, I'm a teenager, completely mesmerized by this person. Yeah,

just envisioned this for a second. Gavin and I are able to get ahold of Brad Pitt, I could get hold of bread. Well, we'll do half like Doug Pit yeah, the brothers like around because in Missouri? Okay, anyway, what would you be like if you we got you a date with what would you be on the date? It would just be them taking selfies for about an hour and a half until security came back. You would be chill? Or would you be crazy? If I was on a real date with Brad Pitt, No, I'd be normal. M

I think I would. I'd be like, would you want to have the date and like a year like they had in Troy. I just find him to be extremely charming. How many minutes into that date would you then go into the bathroom and then Senda's photo? You'd have to really play hard to get with Brad. I don't think. I think you'd have to really. I think the girl that is gonna get Brad Pitt is going to be like, whatever, Brad Pitt is your battle plan? What if he's so

tired of that? Maybe every girl tries to do that and he's tired of that, and he's just like, damn, I'm famous, I should be a man, And I don't know. That's like, now you tricked me, tricked my brain there, my brain just exploded. It's true. It's also complicated because it was like, the hypothetical date with Brad Pitt turns out to be very difficulty because you're like, great, Am I hard to get? Or should I just throw myself at him because everybody's hard to get? Or does everyone

throw themselves at him? Do you think he wants to go to this content? Consider just like pulling up in a TMZ bus with just a dinner for two and just leaving out there all night with the candles burning and a bottle of champagne on the on ice. The more we talk about it, the less likely it is that I'm ever going to get to go out with Brad Pitt. I think this ruined it. We're trying to talk it into the chances that I had gone. Now

heard he's a big fan and avid listener of our show. Yeah, so, Brad, I appreciate you for all the You send us a lot of questions, and you reach out to Gavin and I with your questions that we talk about them. Um and I appreciate you support uh and we're here for you if you're looking for a date with producer Amy. By the way, who I love, I love you. You are one of the kindest hearted. She means not you, Brad. Is that what you're getting at is Amy not one

of the kindest people you have ever met. Absolutely in your life, you will do absolutely more. You will do ten times more for anybody than they will ever do for you. And that means that she would probably do a hundred times more for Brad. You have one of the biggest hearts I've ever met, and the heart is a maze. So it's a big mane your heart. But it's actually very true because since I've got to know you too. That's one of the things I do love

about there. It's a dark, dark web up there. Sometimes you come busting in that studio. Stop thinking this. One day you came busting in the studio. Here was a mess, outfit was a mess, sunglasses on. You took the sunglasses off, and then whoa. We were in here for about the next hour sorting through. I was bowling. I'm so much better though. I do have to say that I love your journey that like what month was that August? September?

Is it was September, and like here we are March and it's like you're you're on number seven now and hello, it was seven Okay, do you have any more questions? So good night. This was so fun. It this was so fun. So I actually I appreciate everybody listening, but I all, guys, we also appreciate your questions that we always said we wanted this show to be a vessel of service for you guys, for men and women, um,

and so we appreciate your questions. They come through on our Instagram How Men Think Podcasting and also at our email man at I heeart radio dot com, So please keep sending them to us. Gav I thought we did great? Do you and I rocked it? Amy brought it? U? Did we like? Did we get rid of the other guys? Or is this temporary? Is this a trial run? They're coming back, but just one week without that was so nice. Rick grand Dmitri Thous Yeah, I know they're fun to

have around. Um. Okay, that's it for today. We'll leave it there. Thank you everybody for listening until next week, Take care of one another, Love everyone, love everyone, everybody loves everybody, and we'll see you right back here next right